Too Much Love Will Kill You
by Delilah Kelley
Summary: AU. Voldemort is after a young blind girl endowed with special magical powers. Severus is on a mission to protect her – whatever the cost to his soul. Will he gain love and redemption in the process ? ADULT CONTENT - COMPLETE !
1. An opportunity for redemption

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**Anti-Litigation Charm :**

**Nothing belongs to me in the HP universe, all is JKR, be she blessed for her wonderful ideas and universe – except original characters and the plot. I wished Severus would be mine, but… ***_**sigh**_*** **

**No need to sue me then, I make no money, so no money owed. The present disclaimer charm applies to all subsequent chapters. I won't repeat them.**

**Author's Notes :**

**Set in an alternate HP universe and timeline. This time, without the Golden Trio and a few other kids close to them. LOL : a HP story without HP ! That was fun. Yet, there are other regulars I use here – you'll recognize them.**

**This story is focused on Severus Snape, by far my favorite character in the HP series. As the timeline is completely alternate, do not expect any compliance with the books, though certain events from the actual story are alluded to or used in the plot. I also love to insert a few lines said by the characters either in the books or in the movies every now and then. I trust you fans will recognize them.**

**I wrote this fanfic with the image of Alan Rickman's fabulous portrayal of Severus in my mind. OMG, he's just **_**so perfect**_** in that part and I like him to pieces as an actor. Especially in the **_**Half-Blood Prince**_** movie : he is simply **_**gorgeous**_**. However, you may imagine any other image you have of him ! **

**Same thing for Alastor Moody : I wrote with Brendan Gleeson's portrayal of him in mind – I found it both funny and disturbing at the same time. The rest of the cast in the movies are so perfect in my opinion that I used them to picture their characters in my mind and writing. But here too, you are free to unleash your imagination as you wish !**

**For Draco and Sirius fans, you won't be forgotten. These two will show up in this story. I will describe them as they look in the movies - Tom Felton and Gary Oldman, respectively, are just so great in these parts !**

**For all those out of there who are geniuses and wizards with drawing and photo-manip, please feel free to use my work to spur your imagination - just provide me with the link so that I can admire your work and leave a review for it.**

**Please rate and review – that feeds the muses. Feel free to give your advice, what you loved or not, how you imagine how the plot is to evolve, if you cried or laughed or cringed. Anything you wish. I also slid a few references to other works of Alan Rickman in the text every now and then. The fans that review to quote these references will earn themselves some chocolate cookies. No detentions with Severus to be expected, sorry, these are mine !**

**Summary :**

**Set in AU. Voldemort is after a young blind girl endowed with special magical powers. Severus is on a mission to protect her – whatever the cost to his soul. Will he gain love and redemption in the process ?**

_**Adult themes and content, you've been warned. Not rated M for nothing. Not for the faint of heart. There are adult themes addressed here, like violence, non-consensual sex, torture. If these issues make you uncomfortable, you may leave any time, no problem. **_

_**But if you are as brave as a Gryffindor (or a Slytherin, yes, yes !), this is the place to be !**_

**Now for the story !**

* * *

**1**** – An opportunity for redemption**

"Severus, I need your help," Albus Dumbledore said after serving himself a cup of tea. The old Headmaster watched his Potions Master carefully. Professor Snape was sitting opposite to him, a cup of tea in his hand too. When the Headmaster had this tone, something was up. To no good.

"My help." That was more a statement than a question.

"Yes. Do you remember one of your students, that had become blind last year ? A fifth-year student."

Severus Snape lowered his eyes in thoughts. Oh yes, he remembered. A young girl aged 16 then, that had suddenly become blind, without reason. Well, Severus knew there was a reason – and of course Dumbledore did too. Even in the magical world, things did not happen without a reason.

"I remember her. Miss Lorena Nottingham."

"Excellent. I was sure you did. She was one of your Slytherins, after all."

"What's happening this time ?" Severus let the remark slide on him. Yes, she was a student of his House and he had been closely involved in the story.

"She's still blind but she wants to resume her schooling at Hogwarts," Dumbledore said calmly while putting a piece of lemon in his tea.

Severus watched the Headmaster with a look both surprised and poised.

"She wants to… to come back here ? While being blind ?" He was considering if that would be possible. Hogwarts was a big place and some courses would be particularly difficult to follow for a blind person. Above all his Potions class.

"She has been sent to St. Mungo where her condition had not improved at all. Well, I'm not surprised as I suspect the reason behind her blindness. Then she joined an institution for the blind associated with St. Mungo. There she learned how to cope with her new situation, that is, being able to live in our environment as a blind person." He paused. "You know, she had always wanted to become a medi-witch."

"I know about that," Severus said.

"She was one of our most talented students, you know that too."

Severus glanced at Dumbledore. He had the feeling that this was not the only reason. Of course, a talented student deserved to be helped in his own opinion. Especially that student, one of the best he had ever seen in his Potions class. Besides, she was a Slytherin, like he had been too. _Once a Slytherin, always a Slytherin_, he thought.

He was right. There was something else. "There's another reason for us to welcome her here again, Severus."

"And that is ?"

"She needs protection."

"Protection from what ?" Severus asked. He knew it, something was up. Dumbledore remained silent, his steely blue gaze set on his Potions Master. The younger wizard's lips opened a bit, as if struck by truth. "From _whom_ ?"

Dumbledore remained silent for a few seconds. "Lord Voldemort, Severus," he said with a low voice.

Severus locked his ebony gaze on him, concern on his features. For sure the girl had powers. She was a very talented witch. That was just an understatement.

"You know her abilities, Severus. You know what she can do. Voldemort is interested in her powers. Do you ever wonder why she had become blind ?"

"I must admit I had thought about it a lot, Albus. But I don't have your… gift to guess."

The old Headmaster smiled. "Voldemort cast a spell on her last time he encountered our students in the circumstances you know, a bit more than one year ago. She managed to escape relatively unscathed because he wanted her alive. As he could not get her then, he thought he could do so otherwise by removing her from Hogwarts. I must confess he partially succeeded as she had to leave us to seek treatment and help from another institution. He thwarted her training here, hoping to get to her again and train her himself. She would have been lost for us for good this time, providing him with a powerful channel for his own ambitions. He wanted her to be in a better condition to proceed with the second part of his plan : to have her as one of his Death-Eaters and enjoy her capabilities. This part is about to be finalized. That's where we have to do something. In fact, we have to do everything in our power so that this part _never_ finalize."

He took a sip from his cup of tea. Severus watched him carefully, thinking about his colleague's explanation. He had come to a somewhat similar conclusion deep down himself through his own experience as a spy on the Dark Lord for Dumbledore. The girl had not been left alive just out of Voldemort's goodness heart.

"I must say that I owe most of the explanation thanks to your own report, Severus. I suppose you had the same thinking then too."

"Yes, more of less. It's just that some parts didn't fit into my mind."

"That's because you thought that the girl may not have sufficient powers then."

The remark was not supposed to be scathing for Severus. But he resented it anyway. He should have been able to see that ! She was one of his top students. No, he had seen it. He had just been too stubborn to admit it.

"True she uses a very particular form of magic. One that escapes our comprehension sometimes." He paused. "Remember this, Severus. It's very important for the rest of Voldemort's plans : she's a Slytherin."

The Potions Master sighed. "I've always wondered why she had been sorted into my House. Really, she doesn't fit pretty much like a true Slytherin." The girl had always displayed other Houses' qualities – courage and independence like a Gryffindor, creativity and a craving for knowledge like a Ravenclaw, humility and friendliness like a Hufflepuff. For these reasons, she was most likely the only Slytherin to get along so well with other students from the three other Houses.

Dumbledore smiled at the prejudice thus displayed – by a Slytherin himself. "Ah, that's what you think, Severus. She may surprise you." He knew that some of Professor Snape's qualities were Gryffindor in essence – like courage for example. But he knew better than saying so as it would really hurt his colleague and friend. "Now you know. The Sorting Hat knew in anticipation that a Slytherin student of her potency would be much less harmed by Voldemort as long as he needed her powers. I must confess I didn't understand it either at the beginning. She has not much of a Slytherin, except for her resourcefulness. She's not even a pure-blood."

"I'm not either," Severus replied a bit hastily. "And true that she has more something of a Gryffindor or a Ravenclaw in terms of qualities," he ended with a bit of sarcasm in his tone.

Dumbledore noted the scorn but preferred to ignore it. "Yes, true. Very true. I remember that the Sorting Hat had hesitated before sorting her out into Slytherin. That was the first time I had seen it hesitating that way. She could have fit into any House actually. But I suspect that the Sorting Hat had had a guess of the future then and preferred to have her protected as a Slytherin."

"Being a Slytherin doesn't mean protection from the Dark Side, Albus. You know it and I know it too," Severus said, a touch of sadness in his voice. He cringed inside. _My soul, Dumbledore ? What about my soul ?_

This time, the old Headmaster felt it and he looked at the Potions Master with a compassionate gaze. "Yes, I know that. It didn't protect your soul," he said with a true fondness mixed with genuine sadness. "But this time, you have an opportunity to redeem it."

It was said and Severus Snape knew that he had not been left a choice in this mission. As usual. Well, the little left of his own soul did not leave him a choice. He had chosen to become a Death-Eater and follow Voldemort's ways when he was still a young man. A foolish young man. It had cost him a lot, his heart, his peace of mind, his soul. Not his life yet but he knew that this would be the next thing the Dark Lord would take away from him. Well, that was what he thought then.

But this time, he had a choice to redeem himself. It had begun with the spying mission Dumbledore had assigned to him. It could go on with protecting that girl.

"I accept. But… why me, Albus ?" Severus asked anyway. "Why me to protect her ?"

Dumbledore had a frank grin this time. "Oh, for many reasons. I'd state two of them only : you need redemption. Then you're not only my Potions Master, but also the best expert I ever had here in the Dark Arts." He paused with a thoughtful glance at the younger wizard. "I would add a third reason, Severus, the most important in my sight : I trust you. More than anybody else. I would entrust my own life with you – and you know it."

Both men exchanged a glance that said it all. Albus Dumbledore was not Severus' best friend. He was the only one the Potions Master had. The only person to grant him his trust and his friendship.

"There's another reason, Severus, and you know it. You were the one who reported it to me : Voldemort wants that girl because he believes he can get her powers even more if he gets her virginity through a specific ritual. This shall not happen, at any cost."

Severus smirked at him. "I don't even know if he can do that. Physically, I mean."

"That's a chance I do not prefer to run, Severus. If he thinks he can perform that ritual, that means he can and will do it. We cannot afford to assume he cannot." He paused. "You have to ensure that this doesn't happen. _By any means_."

Severus wondered for a second or two… After all, there was a way to ensure this never happened. But it involved the girl's consent. And his own. She was just a young girl after all.

* * *

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	2. As darkness takes the day

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**2**** – As darkness takes the day**

Severus went back to his private chambers. He thought about the new task assigned to him by the Headmaster. Well, it could have been worse after all. Once there, safe in the solitude of his den, he served himself a drink of PureFire whisky and sat in his armchair, his gaze lost in deep thought.

He did remember the girl. Lorena Nottingham. She was utterly gifted. Surely one of the best students Hogwarts had ever had. When she had entered the school, she was able to ignite and quench fires with her glare only. She could move objects with a wave of her hand or even raising her index only. Wandless and non-verbal magic had been a specialty of hers from an early age, an ability that had raised the interest of Dark Arts teachers and experts at Hogwarts. Including Professor Severus Snape of course. The explanation resided with the actual origin of her own magic, a nature magic as she seemed to tap in both her body and her environment the energy required to perform such magical deeds.

She also seemed to have very good predispositions at both Legilimency and Occlumency, at least when touching other people, though these matters had not been overtly covered by the curriculum. Actually, she was a contact telepath.

Last but not least, she was very interested by potions making... and had quickly become very good at it too, once again, thus raising the Potions Master's interest. She was the only student to have never been afraid of sitting on the first bench in his class, just in front of him, while all the others fled to the back of the classroom. She was the only student to sustain his gaze, her pale blue eyes watching him with a quiet, almost dreamy, sweetness, that had made Severus thought first she was trying to seduce him. Using _Legilimens_, he quickly discovered that this was not the case. She was just a gentle yet honest soul. So much un-Slytherin in the Potions Master's opinion… but Severus could not bully her like he could do with the students from the other Houses. There was something special about her, a mix of strength and mildness. He even came to care for her, very discreetly though, ready to take the stand first against her Slytherin housemates.

She was also of a very special beauty. Not a canon beauty though. Some would have said 'strange'. Severus had thought only then as 'magical'. At least in his heart. He did not admit this kind of impressions and even less expressed them. But he had to reckon that in her case, yes, she possessed some kind of magical beauty. She was born early September and because of the admission rules at Hogwarts, was therefore 12 when entering her first year. At 13, she already looked like she was 15. Lovely curves, dark curly hair which fell all along her back in a raven colored cascade. At 15, she was no longer looking like a child.

But her most surprising feature was her eyes. Set in a face of a very fair complexion, a pair of pale blue eyes that seemed to bore in anybody's gaze up to their very souls. They had had retained Severus' attention then. He had almost lost his composure the first time his gaze had looked at hers – a most extraordinary feat as the Potions Master never show any of his innermost emotions, above all in front of students in his classroom.

He also remembered when she had become blind, as if it had happened just the day before. He had had his share of very painful memories but surely, the despair he had felt then in the girl was one of the most distressing memories he had ever had.

Yes, he remembered each and every second of that fateful day when…

* * *

… when he heard someone bang at his door loudly. Who in hell could bang his door like that, at such an early hour of the day ? There was no class today, it was Saturday, the OWL exams were over. All the same.

Severus went to his door and opened it, hoping to stop the noise and above all inflict a severe deduction of points to the House of the student that had dared infringe on his territory that way.

With surprise, he saw that a Slytherin girl was at his door, a look of panic on her face. "Please, Professor, please, come with me ! We have a problem in our dorms ! Please !"

He caught the girl's wrist before she may take flight and dragged her inside, an angry look on his face. He could not deduct points from her House – his own House ! And all Slytherins knew that they could not go and bang at his door without a reason. A good reason. Slytherins were not known as pranksters.

"What's happening ?" he barked.

"It's Lorena, sir ! She's becoming mad and she's in a panic over there ! She's doing all sort of foolish wand waving in our dorm ! Please come ! I'm not joking ! Sir, please !"

What ? His top student making riff raff in the Slytherin girls dorm ? That wasn't like her. He followed the Slytherin student up to the girls' dorm. Once there, he found a group of Slytherin girls in front of a closed door. The girls moved away as he approached, to let him pass. He could hear screams from inside the room.

"What's happening ?" Severus asked briskly.

"She's closed the door," a third-year student replied. "We cannot enter. She's warded it. We tried to lift the wards, but as soon as we lift them, she puts them back into place."

"We don't understand, sir, she's just got jinxed like that, no purpose, no reason…" another girl remarked.

Severus turned to her. "There's always a reason !"

"She's wrecking the place !" whined another one.

Severus had to admit that courage was not Slytherin's first quality. He left that to Gryffindors. "You ! Go and bring back the Headmaster !" he said to the girl that had mentioned a lack of reason. "You ! Bring back Ms Pomfrey here at once !" he said to the whining girl. "Do not enter before I or Professor Dumbledore say you may !" he said to the others.

He got his wand out and touched the door. He could feel the power of the spell. As fast as lightning, he cast a counter-curse and the door opened in a loud bang, allowing him to enter before it could close again. Once inside, he closed the door with a locking charm.

The girl was there, in her long white sleeping gown, a sheer look of panic on her face. Despair too. Her wand in hand, she had not exactly wrecked the place but she aimed it aimlessly and caused things to go upside down in the room.

Severus did not hesitate a single second. He cast a spell at her but she countered it with her hand in one direction, her wand in another. She had sensed a presence. Her mouth was casting a spell too as her lips were moving. _She can cast three spells at a time ?_ the Potions Master thought. _How unusual… and impressive ! _Well, he was not that surprised, given her background.

He managed to avoid them and cast a silencing spell on himself so that he could not be heard. He could not gather why she had become mad like that. He would think about it later. Now was time to master her and get her calmer. But in the middle of her madness, she had had time to protect herself. _She's not so mad then._

That left Severus with only one option. _The rough way._ He rushed to her and grabbed her left wrist – her wand hand. He rounded her waist with his other arm, pressing her against him. The girl growled when feeling she was restrained as such. After an unfair fight, they both fell onto the closest bed. She had a good control of her reflexes as she still held onto her wand, even trying to turn it against him between her agile fingers.

"Let me go ! Don't touch me ! Let me go !" Her right hand, still free, was hitting his chest with all she had. He grabbed it to gain total control of her this time. She did not move any longer under him. All of a sudden, she became silent, her breast heaving fast from her previous efforts, her lips slightly open. "Don't touch me… please…" she whispered, feeling the heavier, taller and stronger male body laid on her. A contact she had never experienced before. A contact that increased her panic.

The Potions Master had to keep control of himself – he had never been in so close a contact with a student and for a second or two, he had to admit that her womanly 16-year-old body was all the more comfortable against his own. He shut his own mind out, lest lustful thoughts of his may slip out…

Severus was about to ask her what this was all about when he looked at her face. Her eyes were wide open, but there was something strange about them. They were motionless and their color was no longer that usual pale blue.

They were of a pale gray. Empty.

He swore in his mind and removed the silencing spell off him, so that she could hear him. "What's going on, Miss Nottingham ?" he asked gently.

"Prof… Professor… Snape ? Is that… you ?"

She was not looking at him. Or rather, she seemed to be looking through him.

"Yes, it's me. What's going on here ?"

She swallowed, apparently reassured by the silky tone of his voice. Her eyes welled up to shed tears eventually. "I'm… I'm blind !"

Her left hand went limp and let go of her wand eventually. Severus took it gently from her hand, releasing her wrist at the same time.

"What's happening to me… Professor ?" she asked in distress.

He looked at her. "I don't know, Miss Nottingham." Feeling another outburst of panic from her, he did something that he did not remember to have ever done to a student before. He freed her other wrist and with his both hand, he stroked her face, dabbing her tears gingerly. "I don't know but we'll find out… there… it's alright… don't worry…" he went on gently, giving his deep voice a soothing tone.

The girl seemed to calm down under his gentle touch. Now she was even clinging to him, her both fists on his chest. "Don't leave me alone… in the dark…" she pleaded in a whisper.

"No, we won't," he said again in a hushed tone. Realizing his position on top of her could be misconstrued, he rose from her without breaking physical contact with her, holding her hands in his. Now he could understand her panic. "I'm here."

He helped her stand up. The girl had put her head against his chest and was weeping silently, still clinging to him as if her very life depended on it. He soothed her by holding her against him, his both arms around her, cradling her, one of his hands gently stroking her long dark hair. With his other hand, he got a handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbed her tears again with it. "There… it's alright… You're not alone in this… you're not alone…"

The girl's predicament had awakened a dreadful memory in his mind. He remembered when his father had punished him one evening, compelling to spend the night all alone in a shack outside. The night was so dark, young Severus could not even see his hands. He had been scared to death and had not slept for the whole night. _Save that the night disappeared eventually, while this girl… she's in a night that may last a long time if not forever._ He could relate to her outburst of panic.

The girl stopped crying. Severus was surprised : he knew the girl was more or less a contact telepath – hence the reason why she did not like to touch nor be touched – but this time, she had let him do. She had let him touch her face. She had let him take her between his arms and hug her tight against his own body. Of course, she had struggled against him when he had tried to gain control of her to disarm her of her wand. He had tried to do so the least brutally possible – though he knew he was brutal anyway. But all in all, his contact was not disturbing or unpleasant. He was much different than what he showed in class.

On his side, Severus had to admit that this girl's body against his own was all the more pleasant. Long time he had not held a woman between his arms ! _Too long._ Her flexible, warm body was good to hold. Her cheeks were smooth under his hand. He noticed that one of her shoulders was now bare. Round and inviting to a caress or a kiss. He realized that the 16-year-old girl was no longer a child. She even had the body of a grown woman – he had felt it when he had struggled with her and laid his 6'1" frame on her eventually. A cruel reminder of his own loneliness.

She began to go limp. "I'll bring you to the infirmary to see Ms Pomfrey. Hold on to me." He removed his black school robe quickly and put it around her, before taking her in a cradle carry. He had her wand along with his own, in the same hand.

The girl was drained now, most likely because of the powerful and erratic magic displayed before he could enter the dorm and quiet her down. She was too much exhausted to even shake or whimper. Her head was now resting on his shoulder, in complete abandon. Severus could not remember the last time a woman had abandoned herself against him like she did now. She still had his handkerchief in her hand though, her hand on his shoulder. She coiled against him, reassured by the warmth of his robe. His scent, blend of… various potions ingredients and something very male. His body warmth. She could feel his muscular body against her own and for a long time – if not forever – these two sensations, smell and warmth, would be the first and only reassuring memory she would keep as a blind person.

Severus canceled the locking charm he had put on the door and opened it with another spell. Dumbledore was not here, nor was Ms Pomfrey. Only one Slytherin first-year girl was there. The other girls were gone. For the first time in his life, Severus wanted to curse Slytherins for their lack of courage or loyalty – and dock fifty points from his own House for the same. "I've been told to inform you that Professor Dumbledore is outside for business and that Ms Pomfrey is tending to a severely injured patient now, sir," the girl said with a small voice, her eyes lowered more out of fear than respect for the Potions Master and her Head of House.

"Right," Severus growled, reverting to his old grumpy ways. He would have to carry the girl down to the hospital wing himself. It would not be unpleasant but he did not wish to be seen by students who may jump to conclusions too quickly… Especially Gryffindors. He wanted to preserve both his and the Slytherin girl's reputations. He did not need anybody think he had just bedded a student, as the girl was barefoot, in her nightgown, his black school robe around her body.

Once there, he was shown a bed by Ms Pomfrey, where he laid down his precious load. He stayed with her, holding her hand up to the moment when the mediwitch came to see them. He briefly explained to her what had happened and that the girl had awakened blind and had entered a fit of panic on discovering so. He kept her wand with him but left her his handkerchief. He promised her he would check on her regularly.

Severus Snape was a man of honor. He kept his promise indeed.

* * *

**'As darkness takes the day'_ is a line from the song _"In Noctem"_ from the _Half-Blood Prince _movie soundtrack. A pure marvel._**

**_Please rate & review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	3. Back to Hogwarts

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**3**** – Back to Hogwarts**

Yes, he remembered each and every second of that moment. He had even treasured it as his arms, his hands, his whole body, remembered her body against his, her sweet smell, her long hair, her warmth. He also remembered the distraught gaze in her eyes. Her pale gray eyes, which gave her an even more mysterious look.

And now she was to come back into his life. Severus sighed. There had been no more women in his life since that moment, than there had been before it. Curiously, the only thing he seemed to remember with acuteness was that particular sensation, body against body. A sensation that roused a craving in him.

His mind needed a distraction, otherwise his body may go out of control. A trip to Knockturn Alley was not in his schedule…

Severus went to his office and opened a drawer. There, there was a wand, delicately wrapped in paper. He opened the wrapping and found the owl message he had rolled around the wand. A message he had received years ago. He unrolled it and read it again :

_Dear Professor Snape,_

_You had asked me to advise you as to the identity of the person who would buy the same wand as yours. I'm glad to inform you that a young Hogwarts student has just bought the other twin wand today. Her name is Miss Lorena Nottingham. She should enter Hogwarts this coming September.  
__Hoping you will find the above information useful, I remain  
__  
Yours faithfully  
__Ollivander_

Severus, as a double agent, had deemed it essential to know who would own the twin wand to his own. He wanted to know if that person may be a threat to him one day, should he need to engage a fight with them – against his own wand in sort of. Ollivander had gathered that and had kept to his word as to forward him the information he needed.

_Her_ wand. It was very similar to his own. Black, with an ornate handle. Ebony with a phoenix talon core. Very powerful wands. Though each wand was unique, this one was its twin to the one he owned, both in appearance and texture – and most likely power. He wondered then why the student had chosen such a wand. Well, some things were a mystery, even to Professor Snape. Wandlore was among them. Wands were said to choose their owners, so most likely this one had chosen the now blind girl as its owner.

The only difference with the wand belonging to Severus, was that Lorena Nottingham's wand was a couple of inches shorter, 13' for Severus', 11' for the girl's. Otherwise, the handle had the same carvings and was made of the same wood and core.

And now would be the time to give it back to its legitimate owner. Severus sighed again, the girl's wand in his hand. Even in his hand, it had a nice feeling. He tried a few innocuous spells around and it responded to him efficiently. He used it for the wards and a bit of transfiguration. The wand channeled his magic with rapidity and power. He wondered if _she_ would feel the same thing with _his_ own wand in _her_ hand. He tried again this time with his left hand – the wand replied even better – while this was not his wand hand. He remembered that the girl was left-handed both for writing and wand-waving. He was puzzled. _Maybe Dumbledore has an explanation._

He sighed. _Given her abilities, she may not need a wand any longer._ All the same. A witch or a wizard without a wand… that was weird. Casting spells wandlessly, silently, was indeed a useful talent but all the same.

Suddenly, he got an idea. She would need some help to read the books or instructions or whatever required during her schooling. He knew then how he could help her. He had always been good at creating new spells, hexes and curses. He was sure the one he had in mind would be most useful to her. Thinking so, he began to think about a way to make that wand even more special to its true master.

* * *

Lorena Nottingham had arrived at Hogwarts a few days after the end of the academic year. All the students had left the castle by then. Albus Dumbledore, in his great wisdom, had made an exception for her. He had deemed she should spend most of her summer time here in Hogwarts so that she could get accustomed to the place again. He was confident she remembered the place very well and as such, she would feel at ease by September 1st. The girl had agreed to his idea and was very eager to come back to the castle.

Albus Dumbledore had Apparated to the institution for the blind where she had lived and been trained for almost a year. He had come back with her at his arm. Then they had made the way back to Hogwarts, chatting together, him guiding her and explaining her that she would be under the close protection of one of her teachers there. She would be safe there. Her security was his primary concern.

She was in a great shape and obviously happy to return to Hogwarts. That would mean coming back to a normal life and probably being able to complete her education and become a mediwitch, as she wanted to be one. Spending a year in two medical institutions had strengthened her resolve in this regard.

Lorena had never been told about the true reason for her becoming blind, although she strongly suspected a magical reason. The people at St. Mungo and at the institution for the blind had also concurred. Strangely enough, nobody had told her and she had been too busy to adapt herself and learn how to live with her new disability to get to know the truth. Somehow she knew that one day, she would be told. Coming back to Hogwarts may also mean she would get to know everything about it. She had many questions in her mind and so few answers. Now was the time to get them.

Dumbledore led her into his office and offered her a cup of tea. He wanted to observe her. Unlike most blind people, she did not wear dark glasses. Her eyes were still of that pale gray that could be both compelling and frightening. She also wore a dark green velvet gown, cut in a medieval fashion, which suited her forms very well, with a long white undershirt under and a light green cloak over.

She removed her cloak without help, and truly, save for her motionless eyes, nobody could have supposed at first sight that she was blind. She took a sip of her cup of tea all the most naturally – which impressed Dumbledore.

Lorena had grown up into a beautiful woman. She was 17, legally an adult in the wizarding world, turning to 18 by next early September. She was no longer a child, not even a teenager. Her face showed maturity. Anybody would have said that she was in her early twenties, no less.

"So, Professor Dumbledore, who is to protect me ?"

"I've asked him to come here."

"_Him_ ?"

"Yes." When Dumbledore did not wish to expand, he knew how to make sure the other people got his point. Lorena knew it and she did not insist. Soon her acute hearing heard footsteps in the stairwell leading to the Headmaster's office. The door opened and she knew that her 'protector' had arrived.

"Ah, come in, my friend," Dumbledore exclaimed. "Come and have a cup of tea with us !"

Hearing that, the Slytherin student rose to her feet in a gesture of politeness. She had turned her head towards the visitor who had just entered the office.

Severus looked at the girl – no, the young woman – sitting in the same room. His jaw dropped slightly. He could hardly recognize the girl he had held in his arms about a year ago. An old memory came back to him, when he had held her close to him, when he had quieted her down from her fit of panic, when he had dabbed her tears. Today, those same pale gray eyes were looking in his direction. Bewitching and ensnaring.

"Miss Nottingham…" he said in acknowledgement.

A smile crept on the girl's lips when hearing a deep, rich, silky voice she had associated forever with comfort. "Professor Snape !"

He was surprised that she had recognized him. She must have sensed it somehow. "I recognized your voice," she stated with a smile, as if she had read the question in his mind.

Her own voice must have given her away as she seemed to be pleased to meet him. And she was. She had not forgotten that fateful morning when he had soothed her. She had felt good between his arms then. He was so different than when he was in class ! Her memory of him as he had been with her on that morning was still vivid in her mind. She knew that he would protect her, not only because he was a great wizard, but because he had been there then and had managed to sooth her from her anxiety.

"Lorena, Professor Snape will be your guide and protector here, as your Head of House. He will ensure that you may feel good here again. Also, I had asked him to check whether you'd be able to follow class. I believe so but we need to know in case your condition requires a few adjustments on our part for your schooling. You're not the first blind person to attend Hogwarts but we need to know to which extent you may need help. He'll help you choose the various NEWT subjects, the most appropriate to suit your wishes of career and your disability."

"Yes, sir," she replied. "I understand. Thank you."

She sensed something else too. She admitted that the old Headmaster was right. She needed some time before resuming class to make sure she would be able to follow. But she felt something else was at hand.

"Alright, if everything's in good order, you may go. Professor Snape will guide you in the castle."

"Excuse me, Professor Dumbledore, but there's something I need to know," the girl said. "Something I've never been told."

Severus and Albus exchanged a glance. They both knew that they could not escape it and that one day, they would have to tell the truth about her predicament.

"Go ahead, Lorena."

"Why… why did I become… blind ?" She swallowed. "I've waited for that moment, to be in front of you, Professor Dumbledore, to get the truth, because I know you know it."

The old Headmaster glanced another time towards his Potions Master. Severus nodded slightly.

"Sit down, my child," Albus said. "Your blindness didn't arrive by chance. It was cast on you by a malevolent being, for an evil purpose."

Lorena's features hardened. "But for what purposes ? And by whom ?"

This time, Severus spoke. "The Dark Lord cast it on you. As for the purpose, we suspect that he wanted your training here prevented. Stopping it with a disability was a solution."

She looked suspicious. "He could have just killed me, couldn't he ? That would have sorted out the issue."

"No, Lorena," Albus went on. "The Dark Lord wants you alive. Your powers and abilities are what interest him." _And your virtue too._

"My… powers and abilities ?"

"Yes, my child. He thought then that if you were removed from Hogwarts, you may be more sensitive to, say, his… point of view. We had learned that he was planning to get over you and kidnap you from the institution you were. We had little time ahead so we took action as soon as the opportunity arose. You wanted to come back here to finish your schooling and you need protection from the plans Voldemort has in stock for you. Hogwarts can grant you that protection."

_And that is not everything but I think we do not need to frighten you with the rest_, the old Headmaster thought. He had deliberately omitted the part involving the ritual about the girl's virginity.

"I see," she replied thoughtfully, measuring all the implications.

"Your powers are huge, young lady," Dumbledore stated. "Not every student can perform wandless and non-verbal magic as well as you do from the start, like you did when arriving here. Not every student is a contact telepath like you are. It means that you have very important abilities. Voldemort is after you for that purpose. You're a very powerful witch." He paused. "Professor Snape will ensure you will have a good control of Occlumency. This skill will be most useful to you. You'll be integrated in the sixth year class in September. He'll make sure that you haven't forgotten everything during your absence either. Besides protecting you."

That was said. Lorena knew she had not a lot to say after that. Sadness showed on her face for a brief moment. A feeling of powerlessness crept inside her but she crushed it mercilessly in a true Slytherin fashion. "Does that mean that… that the curse may be lifted one day ?" Her voice was sure this time.

"It's possible indeed, Miss Nottingham. We cannot promise you anything in this regard though as it depends on an important factor."

"The caster's death ?"

"Yes," Severus replied.

She turned her head towards him to acknowledge him. "I'm sure we'll find a way. There are many ways to win victories," she said with a cold, determined edge in her voice – there again in a pure Slytherin fashion. Her eyes were still motionless but there was something dangerous now glinting in them.

* * *

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	4. Yod Legimeo

****

Too Much Love Will Kill You

**4**** – Yod Legimeo**

Lorena expected to spend her days and nights in the Slytherin dorm she had occupied before. But Dumbledore had refused, arguing that it would be much more practical if she could live nearby her protector's quarters. In fact, he had planned – with Severus' agreement – that she shared his quarters. An extra room had been installed there for her, a bedroom and a small bathroom for her only, courtesy of the castle's magic. Besides, there were no students, so there would be no gossiping around. Last but not least, all the Slytherin students had come back home. She would have been left alone in the dorms there. The only other person to live in that part of the castle, was Professor Severus Snape himself. Albus did not wish to leave her alone in a dorm.

She had agreed though she felt a bit embarrassed at the idea of sharing her life with him. But she said nothing. She understood the reasons. Soon her trunk was sent to the extra room. Severus had brought her there first, to acquaint her with the surroundings. He could see that she had been trained to recognize and memorize a new place quickly. Well, she had never had many difficulties in memorizing data before either.

Once they were done, Severus led her to the various classes and facilities she may need to access and use. He was guiding her gently, a slight pressure on her elbow, some indications about the steps or a door told in her ear. He hoped she remembered the castle layout, after five years spent there. She did. She remembered it so well that when they walked past the library, she stopped in her tracks, her body stiffening.

"The library… the library…" she whispered. "The library."

Severus heard the despair in her voice. He imagined easily what she could feel as he would have been truly unhappy if he could not read any longer. He dragged her there gently. After all, now was a good time to give her a gift.

"Please, Professor, why did you bring me here ?" she asked with a broken voice.

Severus said nothing. He had led her in front of the shelf containing the books about potions. Then he took her wand from under his right sleeve – he kept his own wand under his left sleeve. He took her hand and put the object into it, before closing her fist over it with a gentle pressure.

Lorena reacted with surprise. A second after, she recognized the thing. Her wand ! Then Severus lifted her arm so that her wand tip could touch the books, making sure that it was set onto a title.

"_Yod Legimeo_," he whispered into her ear.

"_Yod Legimeo_ ?" she repeated without understanding. Only then she gathered what he meant. A spell.

"That's a special spell I created for you. Touch any printed or handwritten material with the tip of your wand and the words will come to your mind." He had whispered her into her ear, with his soft, silky voice that sent a thrill down her spine.

That was a complex spell he had created and cast on the wand. The spell was specifically tied to her wand only, that is, anybody using that spell could read in these conditions provided they use her wand. The spell did not work with other wands. "Oh Professor…" Lorena whispered back, marveled. She could feel he was close to her. She could feel his breath on her neck. But she did not mind. Strangely enough, he was the only person she could accept so close to her, whose contact did not make her lift her mental barriers in apprehension.

She moved her wand a bit and soon the title of a book appeared in her mind. "Oh !" she could not refrain. Severus took another book from the shelf and opened it in front of her. He directed her wand tip towards the text and suddenly, a potion recipe came to her mind. He turned another page and the tip fell on the text describing the Aconite toxic properties.

Lorena could not believe it. She stopped and turned her face to him. "Oh Professor… I don't know how I could ever thank you. I thought I would be barred from this pleasure. Thanks to you, it's like… like I'm back to the land of the living !" Her eyes were welling up.

Severus was aware this was no exaggeration on her part. She loved reading to pieces and he knew she could spend hours in the library with a good book. He blessed her blindness for a few seconds as she could not see a rapid emotion passing over his features.

She squeezed his arm in an appreciative gesture. He was surprised. He had never seen her touch someone. Not deliberately like that. Somehow she must have felt his surprise. "I've learned to rely on my extra sensorial perception. As I need to rely on touching too, I've learned to control the emotions I may receive from other people through physical contact," she explained in reply to his unsaid question. "I'm no longer afraid to touch other people, as long as I can control my telepathic abilities to keep their thoughts or emotions at bay. Or let them arrive to me, just what is sufficient for me to know." She paused. "I didn't want to embarrass you, Professor. I just want to really thank you for the gift you just presented me with. I'm deeply indebted to you now."

"You owe me nothing, Miss Nottingham. I just want you to resume your education up to your usual standards." Still his cold tone. But Lorena smiled at him. She knew that his coldness was a practical way for him to hide his emotions and feelings. The emotions and feelings she had slightly felt when touching his arm.

"All the same."

"How will you do to take notes down ?" Severus asked. The issue provided a convenient diversion to the conversation.

"The institution for the blind gave me an enchanted quill, one that takes notes down by itself. I just have to cast a spell to activate it. Otherwise, it's just like any other quill. They taught me to write without help too. But the outcome is not that wonderful and I'll do my best to spare the professors from it."

There was nothing as such Braille in the wizarding world. Severus nodded and explained that he wanted to see her write as he did not wish to struggle with her written assignments. However, he was curious and he told her he wanted to see her handwriting with and without the enchanted quill. She agreed with a smile.

Severus took the book from her hands and put it back into place. "Let's go back to the Great Hall. It's time for lunch soon and I don't want us to be late," he said while taking her by the elbow to guide her outside. She slipped her wand under her right sleeve.

Lorena said nothing but kept a contended smile on her lips. Not only this was a real gift he had offered her with, but also she had just gathered more about him in a few minutes than she had ever had in five years at Hogwarts.

* * *

Severus led Lorena to the Great Hall for the lunch. Only one table had been dressed as about eight members of the staff remained over Summer. Dumbledore had Transfigured a small rectangular table, more convivial in his opinion, than the big staff table. He usually did so during Summer holidays, when there was not a lot of staff members, so that they could all eat together. Professors Sprout, McGonagall, Flitwick, Mr Filch, Ms Pince. Hagrid remained outside, in his cabin or outdoors, tending to the various creatures around, enjoying fresh air and long days. Dumbledore was sitting in the middle. The only missing teacher was Severus himself. Ms Pomfresh had left for the whole of July and would be back early August. A seat had been kept for her at the table, between Ms Pince and Professor McGonagall.

"Here's your seat, Miss Nottingham," Severus said while putting her hand on the chair back.

Lorena felt the chair and approached her hands to the table. She grasped the table and sat. Then she gathered her dress around her, lifting it enough to show a white laced petticoat under her green dress, and shapely calves.

Severus noticed it but kept his usual indifferent composure. In fact, it was the very first time he noticed it. _Not very rule-abiding, as far as uniforms are concerned_, he thought. To tell the truth, he realized that she may have worn such undergarments throughout all these years here at Hogwarts. Had he noticed it before, he could not decently dock points from her House for such a motive though. Professor Severus Snape docking points from Slytherin ? Just because one of his students wore petticoats under her robes ? That was not serious !

That was not serious and he knew it. Besides, he was not paid to eye up female students. The academic year was over. Staff members and students alike were free to dress as they liked during their holidays. Nonetheless a small, but not so innocent, thought crossed his mind. Severus wondered what it would feel to slid his hands under the petticoat… on her legs… He admonished himself firmly as she was one of his students and a charge whose safety has been entrusted to him. He managed to expel that thought out of his mind but now one particular memory had taken its place. When he had held her tight underneath him to control her during her fit, one year ago.

Then Albus, already sitting in front of Minerva McGonagall, showed the Potions Master the empty seat beside him, inviting him to join. Severus went to take his seat beside the Headmaster, just opposite Lorena. She could not see him but he thought she would quickly gather where he was during the meal. She would recognize his voice – provided he spoke, of course.

The Headmaster explained to the other staff members who she was and what she was doing here. Technically, she was not a student yet, only a former one, that needed to be reacquainted with the castle, for her enrolment back. He explained that she was blind.

Severus kept watching her during lunch, assessing her every move. If she needed nobody for her meals, chances were high she may not need help for other daily routines either. He saw that she was doing fine, except for a little guidance to get her food into her plate. Professor Sprout was friendly as usual to help her in this regard. She also needed to be told what food was in her plate and where.

Once the lunch was other, he came back to her and offered her to take her for a walk into the castle gardens, as a way to get her acquainted again with the place. Lorena gracefully accepted with a smile. She stood up and Severus touched her elbow gently to guide her outside the Great Hall.

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	5. A nice surprise

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**5**** – A nice surprise**

They both toured the gardens and the greenhouses. Severus had still his hand on her elbow in a discreet gesture. Sometimes, he even let go of her but kept an eye on her, ready to catch her if need be.

Professor Sprout was in one of the greenhouses then. She agreed to take Lorena with her for a few hours in the next days, to check whether the girl could deal with plants or not. In the greenhouses, he instructed her that she had to be careful with the various creatures grown there – some of them were ill-intentioned. Lorena smiled, she knew that already but did not discarded her teacher's warning. She knew how proud he could be.

Thanks to her abilities – that she had learned to control – she could sense feelings through contact. The Hogwarts faculty had no specific teaching for this kind of psychic abilities. They had taught her how to control her magic, like fire ignition or the moving of objects. But her telepathic gift was left aside. For that reason, Lorena, left to her own devices to deal with this particular talent, avoided physical contact with any of her classmates as their emotions, feelings or thoughts could be revealed to her and it was not always pleasant. When it occurred, her mind was literally invaded and she did not like it at all. She had embryonic mental barriers but sometimes, it was too much and every thing was down before she could muster the strength enough to keep them barriers intact. She had informed Dumbledore of this and he had advised the other teachers not to touch her – which they complied. But things were not that easy for Lorena when she was in the student crowd. Of course, she enjoyed being with other youths but it was difficult for her to deal with her desire to be with them and the fact it could bring her many unwanted feelings and emotions invading her mind.

Only at the institution for the blind, she had managed to learn to control this particular ability. The staff there was trained and they helped her in this regard as she needed to touch people and things to grasp her environment – so to speak. They taught her how to control the incoming thoughts from others and raise efficient mental barriers to block these thoughts. They taught her how to raise or lower her mental shields just enough to perceive things and people around. They taught her to rely on her extra sensorial perception. They had also discovered that for a fifth-year student, she was remarkably gifted for wandless magic and non-verbal spells. Her case had attracted particular attention and some medi-wizards conducted research on her abilities.

All this restored her self-confidence. Of course, Lorena was aware she would be vulnerable but she had abilities that naturally endowed witches and wizards did not usually possess. A bit like Muggle blind musicians exceptionally gifted in their art.

Now Lorena was back to Hogwarts, having a walk with her Potions teacher who was in charge of her care and safety. They were out of the greenhouse area, suddenly silent. Lorena just felt the need to remain silent, accompanied only by the gentle squeeze of her professor and protector on her elbow, and the sweet breeze on her face.

Severus appreciated that she was not one to talk when not necessary. He was there, with a lovely lady nearby him and he just enjoyed the moment. He was aware of her telepathic abilities and he knew that a single physical contact could inform her as surely as Legilimency could. Therefore, he had raised his own mental shields to a maximum, Occluding his mind tight, as much to preserve his own privacy than to avoid her being invaded by his thoughts and feelings. _Interesting_, he thought. _I wonder if she could do as well as a Legilimens._ That could be a subject of academic research indeed. He made a mental note that he would address the subject with her one day. In fact, he had to teach her Occlumency first, on the Headmaster's orders.

They walked for a few minutes more, without a particular purpose. In the distance, Severus saw Hagrid's house. Maybe she would be happy to see the half-giant teacher again. They had not had the occasion to talk much during lunch. "Come with me," he told her, his pressure on her elbow a bit more intense.

"Where do you lead me ?" Lorena asked. There was a hint of worry in her voice. She tried to conceal it but Severus had perceived it anyway.

"A surprise. I'm sure you'll like it. Don't worry. Trust me."

Lorena knew she had to trust him. He was her teacher, her Head of House, now her protector. The man that guided her steps. She turned her head towards him and gave him a small grin.

A few minutes later, they were in front of a house.

"Miss Lorena !" a deep voice boomed in the air.

Lorena turned her head towards the sound. A broad grin lighted her features and for a second or two, Severus hoped that one day, he could be able to trigger a similar reaction in her. "Hagrid !"

She escaped her protector's gentle grasp on her elbow to go towards the voice she had recognized. But she had not seen the step and Severus caught her waist in time to avoid her a nasty fall.

"You should have let me tell you first there was a step, Miss Nottingham," he whispered to her ear.

Out of reflex, Lorena had put her hands on Severus', now on her waist. Feeling the ground missing under her feet had lowered her mental shields and she had been taken off guard. The contact proved too much for her and she felt a weird yet enjoyable emotion crawling into her mind. An emotion she had not expected to come from her teacher.

She had been taught to welcome any kind of feelings from other people should her mental barriers fail her momentarily. She usually did not pay attention. But this time, it was different. And his hands on her waist were warm, firm and gentle.

"Lorena ! How good it is to see you !" Hagrid said while patting her shoulder. "You're a real lady now !"

Lorena smiled. "You're too kind with me, Hagrid. It's good to hear you."

"Professor Snape…" Hagrid greeted his colleague with a suspicious look on his face for the Potions Master.

"Good afternoon, Hagrid," came the even reply. Severus saw the half-giant's gaze on the girl's waist and the Potions Master removed his hands quickly.

Hagrid knew about her predicament. He could understand that Snape was here to guide her during her visit. But he could not gather her being here. _Is she with him ? Well… she's no more a child._

"How come you're here, Lorena ?"

"I'm back to Hogwarts to pick up where I've left, Hagrid."

"Really ? No kidding me, are you ?"

Lorena smiled. "No way, Hagrid. I'm here for the next two years to finish my schooling."

Hagrid clapped his hands. "Oh, that's real good news then. I suppose things have been arranged as far as your… blindness is concerned."

"This has been taken care of indeed, Hagrid," Severus' deep voice sounded both cold and soft. "I'm there to be Miss Nottingham's eyes to acquaint her back with Hogwarts surroundings before she resumes class."

_That explains his presence._ "Ah, good then," the half-giant replied. _I prefer that after all. _He had suspicions anyway. But this time, not against Severus. He felt something else was up. He could not have told why, just a powerful gut feeling.

Lorena sensed all this. "Professor Snape was kind enough to lead me here to tell you. He thought I'd be happy to talk with you again, Hagrid, and I must reckon he was right." She turned towards Severus. "Thank you, Professor. That was a kind attention of yours."

They chatted for a few minutes more. Hagrid being in charge of teaching the care to magical creatures, he asked if she would be allowed to attend his class. He discussed the matter with Severus who as her Head of House, was the final authority – along with the Headmaster – on this question. The Potions Master explained that provided the girl was fully informed of the possible dangers and that an eye was to be kept on her and the creatures she may have to manipulate, there should be no problem. Of course, if she decided to take the subject for the NEWTs. Lorena said nothing but inside she was grateful to him that he was not treating her like a child or a disabled person. She was disabled but she needed not to be reminded so every minute of her life.

"Class or not, I'll keep an eye on her all the time, don't you worry, Professor Snape. I can promise you that," Hagrid said with a serious tone.

"I've go no doubt on that," Severus replied flatly.

They parted and soon, Severus and Lorena were back into the castle's gardens. Severus led her to his quarters – now theirs – stating that he had something to do and he would come back to pick her up for the dinner. Lorena agreed, she would train herself with the new reading spell he had created for her wand.

"Professor !" she called him before he left the room. "Thank you for your kind help and gentle care," she simply said.

Severus said nothing. Him ? Kind ? Gentle ? Caring ? Even if he was partial to the Slytherin students in front of the other Houses, none of them would have labeled him as such once alone with him. With no other House students around, Severus Snape could be as ruthless – if not more – in dealing with his Slytherins as he was with the other house students. He cared for them – in his own way – no spoiling, no sparing the rod, no playing it mother hen. Not nice and easy, instead rather rough. Actually, he enforced the same discipline used in most pureblood families. Yet, deeply committed to them. His 'little snakes', like he called them _in petto_. "My Slytherins", he said around with pride.

But Lorena Nottingham was not an ordinary Slytherin. He had already noticed that. And even less since she had become blind. He was yet to discover it.

* * *

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	6. Of love and lust

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**6**** – Of love and lust**

On the following day, Severus decided he would surprise her again as she seemed to enjoy this. She had gotten ready fairly quickly, although she knew it took her more time than for a non-blind person. She was not late though. Severus was surprised to see that she needed no particular help in this regard. The institution for the blind had taught her well. Once they were both ready, he led her to the Great Hall for breakfast. He helped her sit at the table and joined the remaining faculty, at the same place than before.

Once more, he watched her. He could check her precise gestures and wondered how much time it must have taken her to acquire such a control. A close observation taught him that she had elaborated tactics to avoid spilling her food and drinks around, to feed herself without wasting anything on her and around her and to do so in a reasonable amount of time. Of course, she would always need someone's help to fetch her food but the other people at the table were happy to assist her in doing so. She even laughed at a joke told by Professor Flitwick.

Severus found her then so lively that he felt a pinch in his heart. And then another one on his arm. Dumbledore had pinched him too.

"Severus, my friend," the old Headmaster said with a gleam of humor in his steely blue eyes. "Did you hear my question ?"

"Your… question, Albus ?" He smirked. "What ?... No."

"I was asking you what your plans are for today with Miss Nottingham ? Looks like you were daydreaming."

Severus darted a cold glare at the Headmaster but the old man did not seem to be fazed by it. "Yes, indeed," he admitted though.

Dumbledore watched him carefully, with a mix of concern and interest in his eyes. _A bit of company is not bad for him after all. Especially female company. He needs some, that's pretty obvious._

"Good, Severus, there's nothing bad in doing so," Albus replied, completely discarding the death glare from his Potions Master. "So what are your plans ?"

"I plan to bring her to Hogsmeade for a walk. She needs to be acquainted with the place too."

"Excellent. By the way, she seems to be rather autonomous." For reasons different from Severus, the old Headmaster had also watched the girl's behavior.

"Yes. She doesn't need help to get dressed indeed. That institution for the blind did marvels. But I need to know how far that autonomy goes, especially for the Potions class. Getting dressed or having breakfast is one thing. Brewing potions, that's entirely different."

"I'm with you, Severus. That's why I asked you to help her and assess her at the same time. Once you have more complete information in this regard, you'll report to me and we'll decide. In the mean time, just relax, we have all Summer for that." He paused and got closer to the Potions Master. "Most important is the protection she must have, Severus," he whispered into his ear. "Don't forget it."

The teacher nodded in his turn. How could he ? "And I can promise you, there won't be any place left to daydreaming on my part when it comes to that, Albus."

"I know, Severus. That's why I entrusted her to your good care. I trust you, you know."

The breakfast ended and Severus went to Lorena to lead her back to their quarters. He also promised himself he would be more careful as to his daydreaming. The old Headmaster had been right. He had been daydreaming about her, remembering his holding her tight against him a year ago, her grabbing her the day before, and imaging her between his arms... _Stop ! _He needed a firm grip on his thoughts and he buried them down mercilessly in a true Slytherin fashion.

* * *

The weather was not so great and Severus believed it may rain later. So he decided he would have a walk with Lorena in the morning instead of the initially scheduled afternoon. He would do some potion making later. He led her back to their quarters, so that she could grab her black cloak and soon, they were off.

"Where are we going, Professor ?"

"A surprise. But you'll like it, like yesterday. It's just outside the castle and for that reason, I ask you to have your wand with you. Just in case."

Surprise showed on her face but she said nothing and slid her wand in her left sleeve. "I understand. I'm ready," she replied with a serious tone, implying she had gathered what he was alluding to. "I suppose we're going to… Hogsmeade ?"

"Nothing goes by you, young lady," Severus said and Lorena could have sworn there was a smile on his face at that moment. At least, there was one in his deep, soft voice and she smiled at him in return. She offered her elbow for him to take. He took it and they soon were gone.

* * *

Hogsmeade had not changed that much. The usual shops and houses were still there. It was less animated than during the school terms, as there were no students. But the place was still charming.

The sky was gray and soon, it rained. Severus dragged Lorena to the closest pub where they could have shelter. She had perceived his intention and let him do.

They entered the Three-Broomsticks and ordered something hot to drink. Ms Rosmerta, the landlady, had recognized the Hogwarts Potions Master but she was surprised to see him with a young lady with a startling pale gray gaze. A beautiful young lady. _Professor Snape with a woman ?_ she thought. _Such a lovely young woman ? Good for him !_

She served them and kept on watching them covertly. She quickly noticed that the pair had nothing of a couple. They were not holding hands nor had a romantic conversation or interest in each other. They were just there, like friends.

Lorena had ordered a hot chocolate and Severus some tea. As Ms Rosmerta had not chocolate left in her supplies, the girl asked her to bring her hot water only. Once the cup in front of her, Lorena took her wand out and cast a spell on it and soon, delicious hot chocolate replaced the hot water inside the cup. She took a sip and put it back onto the saucer.

"Not enough chocolate." She moved her wand in a graceful gesture. "_Addendo Xocoatl_," she said and the drink became darker. She sipped it again and this time, she deemed it fine as per her taste. "I must have lost my hand on this one," she said with an amused smile on her face.

Severus was looking at her with concealed amazement. "Did you create that spell ?" he asked with a voice that did not betray his feeling.

"Yes, I did, sir. But I won't use it during Potions class. No foolish wand-waving you said in first year. I remember."

_Of course she does_, he thought.

"There aren't too many potions that uses chocolate anyway," he replied, amused by her remark. "There are only a few ones that I know, and they are all lust potions. Which are taught only in last year."

"Because you teach that to students, sir ? Lust… potions ?" Her tone reflected her surprise.

"Yes. They need to know this kind of stuff does exist. Ignoring danger doesn't prevent it, Miss Nottingham."

"You're right, Professor. It's just… that the term 'lust potions' seems strange. 'Love potions', I could understand but… 'lust potions' ?"

Severus enjoyed her surprise – besides the conversation on one of his favorite topics. She looked like a grown up woman, even at 17, but she was really innocent. He carefully hid his thoughts as he remembered one of the reasons why the Dark Lord wanted her. The virginity ritual.

"There's a difference between the two, Miss Nottingham. Love potions provoke a strong infatuation, which has nothing to do with real love, of course. While lust potions induce desire, foster lust, in the person that drinks it. Some are so powerful, that only smelling them is enough to affect the person." He paused. "These are dangerous potions as they can lead to crimes like rape. Desire… is not always reciprocated." His deep voice was only a whisper, a whisper that conveyed something threatening. Lorena felt it at once, sensitive as she was to sounds and voices in general. _Has he already resorted to this kind of potions to… ? Or has he just… done this ? Feel desire, unreciprocated desire ?_

"Neither is love," she replied calmly to hide her perception. Her remark touched something deep in him. His unrequited love for Lily.

"True. However, love and lust should not be confused. They are two very different things."

She nodded in silent approval and took a sip of her drink. Severus wondered if after all she was really as innocent as she seemed to be. He hoped she still was. Because at that moment, he wanted for a second or two to have her for himself only and make her discover the true difference between love and lust. Well, as far as lust was concerned…

They finished their drinks. The rain had stopped. Severus paid Rosmerta. The Potions Master had grabbed Lorena's elbow in a subtly tighter grip than before, his body closer to hers. The conversation had left his print on him. He felt not only responsible for her safety but also a feeling of possessiveness was now slowly but surely creeping inside of him. They made the way back to Hogwarts in silence.

* * *

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	7. The potions test

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**7**** – The potions test**

They spent the afternoon in Severus' laboratory. It was the first time that Lorena entered the place. The Potions Master was very particular about it and he let practically nobody – and even less students – enter it. It was a quiet room, nearby his quarters, next to his office in the dungeons.

Lorena stopped in the way. Like every time she entered a new place, she just remained there, attentive to all the sounds that could give her more information about it. A fire was lit in the chimney heath on her left, logs were gently cracking there. Something was brewing in a cauldron nearby to her right and she deducted there was a table in that direction. Otherwise, it was silent and she waited for her teacher to direct her, as she could not gather more than her ears could.

Severus was observing her, aware that her silence and lack of motion was not due to her disinterest or worse, boredom. The concentration on her face was obvious. Her ears and nostrils were slightly moving. It even crossed Severus' mind that she was like an animal on the prowl, waiting for the next move from its prey.

Then she got it. A subtle smell of cinnamon was wafting around, along with that of roses and asphodels. She searched in her memory to which potion that could correspond. Maybe there were some almonds around too.

"Come with me, Miss Nottingham."

Lorena seized his forearm. "You've been preparing, or you're about to prepare a relaxing elixir," she said to him.

He froze in his movement. "Yes… how did you guess ?" he asked, curiosity taking over.

"The smell from the various ingredients used. I can smell them." Her gaze was still in the void but for a second or two, Severus really wondered if she was blind or not. He forgot she had her hand on his forearm. "No, Professor. I'm blind indeed. Just call it… extra sensorial perception."

Severus removed her hand from his arm a bit roughly and just took her elbow to lead her to the table. He took her hand to put it on the table edge. "There you are. You're right indeed, though these ingredients can compose other potions." He sounded angry all of a sudden and Lorena wondered if that was because she had guessed things from him through contact telepathy. She could not blame him, she knew how much he was a private man. She knew better and she kept quiet in front of his professor mode. _Better let it go, obey him blindly – so to speak – and make myself forgotten._ Five years in class with him and as a Slytherin had taught her that when Hurricane Snape was about to make landfall, she had better take the brunt of it in silence.

She submitted herself to his will. After all, she was one of his students. A few minutes later, she felt a knife in her left hand and some rosebuds in her right hand. Severus was now standing behind her, she could feel his arms around her, his breath on her neck while he was putting the knife and the buds in her hands. "As you know what this is all about, proceed !" he whispered in a low, growling voice.

Lorena remained in control of herself and said nothing. When the Potions Master was in such a mood, insolence was futile. She took a bud between her index and thumb and began to slice it very thinly and carefully. The smell of rose became even stronger but she did not mind. She liked it and honestly, this was not the worse smell in the subtle science and exact art of potion making.

She felt him stay behind her. His body was not touching hers but she could feel his presence. She knew he would do her no harm but he could be so threatening sometimes, especially when he spoke in a low, detached, almost sweet voice. A dangerous voice. Lorena remained in control of herself and focused on her task. She knew that if she cut herself, a few drops of blood could tamper with the other ingredients and the final result would not be achieved.

She went on as such, shredding the buds, taking her time to do so. She kept quiet, finding solace in silence. She could collect herself too to cope with the next steps. Severus put a mortar and pestle in her hands. "Put the almonds on your left into it." His tone was still cold.

Lorena's left hand roamed to her left and grabbed an almond. But instead of putting them into the mortar first, she put it under her nose and smelled it. It was indeed an almond. Satisfied, she put it eventually into the mortar.

Severus smirked. The girl was no fool. He even came to appreciate her verification. "You don't trust me, Miss Nottingham ?" he asked with a sarcastic tone.

She perceived the motive behind his question. "I do, Professor, but you may not always be behind me. I need to train my checking reflexes, that's all." She refrained from commenting that she had just smelled the almond – she could have bitten into it.

Severus said nothing. She was right – once more. She crushed the almonds, one by one. When she was done, he led her to the other side of the table. He took her hand and soon, she felt the cold matter of a cauldron. "Recognize this ?" he asked briskly.

"It's a cauldron, sir," she said.

"Right. Now you know the temperature it must arrive to in order to brew the potion correctly."

Lorena could not believe it. He was deliberately tricking her ! "I'm sorry, Professor. The first ingredient must be added in cold water. Therefore, I won't warm it up." Her tone was soft yet firm.

Severus said nothing. All right, this was not a difficult potion, but all the same. Without notes, after one year away from the tiniest cauldron, she remembered the recipe and the steps to follow.

_Well. __Clearly, magic is not everything_, he thought.

"What ingredient should come first then ?"

"The asphodels," she replied with a sure voice.

"Are you sure, Miss Nottingham ?" This time his voice was soft, almost caressing. But still dangerous. Lorena knew better and she did not flinch in her resolution.

"Yes. The asphodels. Please."

Severus complied, too happy to see that he had taught one student at least so well. He brought her the flowers and she poured them into the cold water of the cauldron. Once she was done, she roamed her hands around the cauldron in order to make sure there was nothing around. Then she took a step back and advanced her hand in front of her. Fire kindled under the cauldron.

_Slow, __gentle, sweet, fire_, she repeated in her mind. The fire diminished so that the potion may brew gently. No blazing fire was needed. She was brewing a potion, not cooking a barbecue after all.

Severus looked at her. He knew she could ignite fire from a distance, without a word. The D.A.D.A. teacher in her first year at Hogwarts had been rather impressed by her wandless magic abilities and she had had to display her other talents in this regard in a private meeting with the said teacher, Severus (as her Head of House and a Dark Arts expert himself) and the Headmaster.

After a few minutes, she put her little finger in the water to assess the temperature. At this stage, this was not a problem. Lorena poured the shredded rose buds. Later, as the water was gently bubbling, she added the cinnamon with the almonds. "I need a silver stirrer, please, Professor." She knew that he was behind her. She could feel his presence despite the absence of physical contact between them.

She soon felt a silver stirrer in her hand. She assessed the thin metal object. _How is she going to check it's silver and not gold ?_ Severus wondered. He got his reply soon. Lorena put one end in her mouth and bit in it. It was indeed silver. "Sorry about damaging your equipment, Professor." This time, she was sarcastic.

She stirred the potion nine times clockwise, then nine times counter-clockwise. She adjusted the fire intensity, reducing it a bit, still with a hand in direction of the base of the cauldron. "Now we have to let it brew for one hour."

Severus was impressed – and it required a lot for him to be so. But he showed nothing in this regard. "Indeed." He took her elbow and gently dragged her around in the laboratory. "Let me show you the place. We'll come back here for more exercises. Get your wand out, you'll need it for reading."

His hand on hers, guiding her wand, he showed her the shelves where dozens and dozens of bottles and vials were stored. They were aligned in alphabetical order of their names. He put her wand tip on each label so that she could read the names in her mind. They went through all the bottles as such, finishing in time for her to go back to her potion still gently brewing.

She added other ingredients she had collected in some of the bottles stored on the shelves she had just visited.

After two hours, the elixir was ready. The color and texture were as expected. Severus looked at her. He slid a vial in her hand. "Now you're going to pour it inside that vial and drink from it."

Lorena was unsure for a few seconds. She could check several details during the potion making, but she could not assess if the final result was fine. "Professor…"

"Yes, Miss Nottingham ?" His voice was still silky but she knew that when he had this tone, he could be… dangerous. She suddenly felt ill at ease in his presence. She wanted to escape the lab, the dungeons and run in the sunshine. A sunshine she will never see again. She gathered that she was at his mercy.

"The elixir… it's supposed to be of a sweet pink color. How… how does it look like now ?"

Severus smirked and wanted to tell her to use her extra sensorial perception. But when she raised her pale gray eyes towards him, all he felt was… compassion – he was surprised he could feel that actually. She had managed to brew a correct potion, the least he could do was to reply to her answer.

There was something else too at hand. Her raven hair, long and curly, her pale gray eyes, her fair complexion, the memory of her body underneath his own last year, all this mixed up in his mind. She was only 17 but she looked older, a woman.

"It is indeed of a sweet pink color," he said softly.

The girl smiled at him. "Thank you," she whispered to him. Then she realized that he still had his hand on hers and the vial. His hand was warm and had a reassuring grip, reminding her of when he had seized the day before in front of Hagrid's house, when she had nearly missed a step, had it not been for his catching her up by the waist. No man has ever touched her so close as he had done and she felt deliciously troubled at this thought.

She raised her hand with the vial to put it on the table. Then she felt he put something in her other hand. A ladle. _Alright, this is the same process as when I eat something_, she thought.

Lorena touched the cauldron. It was no longer hot. She touched the vial and the ladle, assessing their respective containing capacities. Two ladleful should do it to fill up the vial, as per her estimations. She plunged the ladle in the elixir. She took the vial then and brought it over the cauldron. In case she may spill some out, the substance would not be lost. The moment of truth has arrived and she braced herself. She had never been that good at serving herself a drink.

_I can control matter movement. I can control the elixir moving into the vial from the ladle.__ I haven't done it since I'm blind though. Well, I never needed to do so before._

She imagined the scene. She discovered that imagining the movement of the liquid from the pot to the ladle then onto the vial, was the key to achieving the operation. She had hesitated to move objects as she could not see them, or where they could land, so she had refrained from using that talent of hers since her becoming blind. It would be the first time since then that she would use her psychokinetic skills. Before being blind, she had never needed to use the _Accio_ spell, preferring her psychokinetic abilities. Since her becoming blind, she had used it instead. Now, she would be happy to use her psychokinesis for bottling potions and other substances.

The ladle came out of the cauldron, it knocked gently the glass vial in a musical sound. With her fingers, Lorena felt the beak of the ladle and the bottle neck. She poured the liquid slowly. _Slowly, slowly, there._ She repeated the second time the operation, happy that no liquid had even spilled onto her fingers.

"There it is, Professor," she said while handing him over the vial.

"Drink it."

Lorena seemed to hesitate.

"Do you trust me, Miss Nottingham ?"

Still that voice… She could have sworn the man had cast himself a charm on his own voice. "Yes, Professor. I do."

"So drink it." A pause. "Now."

It meant that her potion was edible if not a success. Lorena brought the vial to her lips and drank it all, her empty pale gray eyes still open and trained on him.

"How do you feel now ?"

"Long time I haven't drunk my own potion, sir, I must confess." She paused, putting the vial onto the table. "I feel… good. Relaxed… As if… floating…" She closed her eyes. Suddenly, she slipped to the floor. Severus caught her before she could even touch the ground. Her body was now limp between the table and him. _For sure you're relaxed now, Miss Nottingham_, Severus thought with a sigh.

He took her in a cradle carry and brought her to her bedroom, laying her gently onto her bed. He arranged her pillows so that her head may rest comfortably. Her dark hair was spread on the gray pillow fabric. He removed her shoes and put her legs on the bed. He noticed her laced petticoat showing from under her dress. He rearranged her garments.

_You remembered the potion perfectly but you overlooked the fact that it you must drink only a sip or two to avoid the… relaxing effect,_ he thought with an amused gleam in his dark eyes. She had drunk only half of the whole vial, which was already way too much. At least the potion had been correctly brewed.

For a moment, Severus watched her. She was there, laying on a bed, completely abandoned, ready for the taking. He thought he could after all, as they were alone, nobody to check on them. With the appropriate charm cast on her, she would not even have a memory of it… of what he could do to her…

Severus also remembered he should keep this elixir not too far. It may prove useful one day or so, in case he would need to drug her after all. _Drug her for what ?_ He knew the answer and preferred to leave the room before his lustful thoughts took over him beyond imagination.

* * *

Lorena woke up suddenly. She was confused though. She made an effort to recollect the previous events of the afternoon. She was in the lab with Professor Snape. The elixir of relaxation. Everything had been fine up to the moment when… when she had drunk it.

_I drank my own potion. Alright._ She thought for a while. Then it dawned on her. She had drunk too much of it ! _Damn ! I drank half of the vial while I should have taken a sip or two only._ She sighed. She still had her dress on but no longer her shoes. She realized then that the Potions Master had most likely carried her back to her room so that she could sleep it over. He had taken care of her. She had never suspected Professor Snape could be so gentle, so caring, so kind.

She put on her shoes she had retrieved and went to the bathroom and threw some water to her face. She felt great though the elixir relaxing effect had worn off. In the distance, her acute hearing heard the bell. Six o'clock. Lunch would be in one hour. She had time to check Severus' library, as he had kindly invited her to do so. Now she controlled the reading spell he had cast on her wand and she greatly enjoyed it.

A bit before seven, Severus came back to his quarters. He found Lorena reading in the sofa, her wand in hand, enjoyment clearly glowing on her face. She raised her face from the book when she heard him walking in.

He looked at her. She had her wand in hand for reading but he felt she was ready to use it for a whole another purpose. She was cautious and at the same time, confident in the castle protection measures.

"Hello Professor !" she said with a smile.

That was the first time in ages that someone welcomed him with a smile. Usually, Professor Snape was welcomed by fear. Or resent. Or despise. Or hatred. Or all of them. Except for Albus Dumbledore. But a young lady… He felt disturbed for a second or two.

"How did you know it was me ? It could have been somebody else."

Unfazed by his gruff tone, Lorena replied. "I recognized your steps, sir."

"Somebody else could have used Polyjuice Potion to impersonate me and imitate my steps," he said.

"I would have perceived that as well."

_Of course, she would have_, he thought. "Time for dinner, Miss Nottingham. I suppose that the elixir effect has worn off."

She smiled. "Yes, about an hour ago. Listen, sir… I'm sorry about that part. I should not have forgotten its effect. That was silly of me."

"Indeed. I think you'll keep it in mind now. Because next time, you won't escape the best part of potion making." He paused. "Cleaning the cauldron and the other instruments, that is."

Lorena stifled a giggle, having perceived the humor behind the sarcasm. She closed the book and slid her wand in her right sleeve, then stood up to go to the Great Hall. Severus gently grabbed her elbow to guide her. She let him do, he seemed to have reverted to a more civil attitude.

They entered the dining area. Severus led her to the table first, making sure she was all set before he went to his seat with the rest of the faculty. Hagrid was sitting at the end of the table, between Professor Flitwick and Sprout. He preferred to come for dinners only.

That evening, there was soup for everybody. A big pot was smoking in the middle of the table, close to Lorena. She smelled it and enjoyed the nice odor. Then she got a sudden remembrance : when she had poured the elixir into the vial that afternoon. She had never been good doing this since her blindness but unexpectedly, she had managed to do so in Severus' lab. She realized that she had managed to do so by controlling the matter with her mind to a very precise extent. This was not mere book shifting or furniture moving.

She wanted to renew the experience. She needed to know if what had happened in the lab was not a mere coincidence. If she could renew it any time. She rose from her chair. She took the ladle in the pot and stirred the content as if it was a potion. "Anyone on soup ?" Lorena asked.

The other people around the table gasped and silence fell suddenly in the Hall. The teachers stopped their conversations. Only Dumbledore's eyes were smiling behind his half-moon glasses.

"Anyone on soup ?" Lorena asked again, her voice rising alone in the Great Hall. She perceived that this time she had everybody's attention as complete silence surrounded her. "Did someone cast a sound spell on me or what ?" she remarked with humor.

Professor Dumbledore offered her his plate which made a metal sound against the pot. Lorena felt the plate and imagined the soup coming from the pot into the ladle then into the plate. She began to pour a ladleful of soup into it. She did it another time and realized that her imagination could replace her physical vision. Her imagination, based on her perception of her surroundings, could be her inner eye.

The other staff members, seeing she was not making a fool of herself, began to give her their plates. Lorena managed to fill the plates without spilling anything around. Concentration could be seen on her face as this was an exercise she had not made a lot but she knew she could do it. She just had to strengthen her psychokinetic muscles and trust her inner eye.

The teachers were surprised too. Professors Sprout and McGonagall were talking to each other, exchanging their impressions in whispers. Professor Flitwick was dumbfounded and he stared at the whole scene with marveled eyes. Hagrid felt pride bursting in his heart. As for Professor Snape… Only Albus Dumbledore had given his plate for a serving.

Severus was watching her closely. He could see the girl serving, like the others. Like the others, he had noticed her performance. He remembered in the lab how she had been unsure before pouring the elixir into the vial. How much she had concentrated herself on this simple task to achieve a decent result. He understood she wanted to renew the experience with the soup, just to make sure it had not happened by chance. He could relate to that. He knew it required several successful trials when making a potion, before claiming 'I manage to do it correctly'. He had to reckon he admired her perseverance. Once Albus had been served, he gave his own plate.

But that was not the only thing Severus was watching. He could see her body too. Her hourglass shape and the memory of his hands on her waist, of her body under his own, all this made him particularly sensitive to her. Her long curly raven hair was following her movements in a graceful motion. And now, he could look at her like his other colleagues were doing – but not for the same reasons.

Severus just found her not pretty. Just divinely beautiful.

* * *

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	8. The DADA test

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**8**** – The DADA test**

On the day after, Severus wanted to test Lorena's abilities in Defense Against the Dark Arts. He did not tell her first and brought her to the classroom used for that purpose. Once inside, he cast a locking charm on the door and a silencing spell on the room so that nobody walking by could hear them train. Such sessions could be really noisy…

She was nervous but did not show it. However, Severus had perceived it. He said nothing and led her to the catwalk used for demonstration to students during dueling demonstrations. He put her hands on the catwalk and she recognized the furniture, and hence the place at once.

He removed his school robe and Lorena's, which he put on a chair nearby. She was dressed in a blue dress that day, still cut in that medieval fashion that suited her so well. They both walked up the catwalk.

"You remember the catwalk's distance, don't you ?" Severus asked her.

"Not really, sir. Well, I guess this is not important as if I'm attacked, I suppose I won't have time to assess the distance between me and my attacker."

Severus smirked. She was right. But he showed nothing of it.

"Take out your wand."

Lorena complied in silence. Her left hand got it out of her right sleeve. Then he took her arm and led her at about one-third of the catwalk. "You salute first, I will follow you, as you're at a disadvantage compared to me."

Lorena said nothing about the mention of her disability, she knew better. She remembered the salutation ritual used between wizarding duelists.

"Try to disarm me first. But be ready, it will be my turn after."

Lorena nodded. For a second or two, she closed her eyes. Her first session here at Hogwarts, in this very room, was still printed in her memory – for ever. She had blocked a spell from one of her classmates without using her wand, just raising her fist in front of her. The spell had been sent back, which had created great havock to her adversary. That same evening, she had been sent to Dumbledore for further questioning, in presence of the D.A.D.A. professor, and her Head of House – Severus Snape. After that, she had become a favorite of the D.A.D.A. teachers and had eventually scraped an 'Outstanding' at her OWLs in that matter. Her magic was powerful. Severus wanted to check if it still was. Or if it had further improved and even expanded in power.

But now was not the moment to daydream. She collected herself and thought about the order given by the professor. She was well aware that Professor Snape was a Dark Arts expert himself.

"_Rictusempra_ !" Lorena said with a force, an assurance, that contrasted with her appearance, her disability and her sweetness. Her gesture was precise, dynamic and forceful. She displayed a high level of energy.

Severus was expecting that one or the _Expelliarmus_. He countered it easily. Lorena heard no sound that he may have fallen. She knew she had lost that one. She knew too that the next spell would be cast by her teacher and he would not give any warning. She was ready.

"_Expelliarmus_ !" His deep voice resounded under the high ceiling of the classroom. The energy wave hit Lorena and she was expelled to the end of the catwalk. She almost fell from it as one of her hand was in the void. Her left hand. The wand was away, out of her reach. She had been disarmed.

Silence. Lorena knew Severus would not come to help her. _Alright, Professor. You want to play it dirty, we're going to play it dirty._ She had no specific animosity against him but she needed to summon all her strength to go forward and continue. That was a way like any other. A Slytherin way, for sure.

"Get up, Miss Nottingham !" she heard him order with a low, clear, dangerous voice, as she was not reacting enough fast for Snape.

She shook her head. She turned her gaze towards his voice and suddenly, a curtain of fire appeared between her and the Potions Master. She enjoyed the confusion thus created to get her wand back. She focused on her wand to retrieve it, her left hand open, using her psychokinetic abilities. She would not have too much time as Severus would most likely use a spell to quench the fire she had ignited. She was right.

Once she felt the wand in her palm, she picked herself up and sprang to her feet. Using her extra sensorial perception, she felt she was in the correct direction and strode towards him.

"_Confundo_ !" she retorted.

The energy went out of the wand but it was easily blocked by Severus. He retorted with a resounding "_Levicorpus_ !". But this time, Lorena countered the spell with her right hand, palm open towards him. The energy beam was deflected towards the ceiling. That was not a spell. That was her psychokinetic abilities at work – which made her so special a student, as no other possessed them.

They went on as such, trading spells, jinxes, hexes and curses, for about twenty minutes. Lorena was aware the Potions Master would push her to use all the spells she knew. She was aware too that he would win playing this game as he knew more hexes and spells than her. She had heard that he was a talented spell creator and she had had the proof of it when he had created the reading spell and cast it on her wand. But she would not let it go without putting up an honest fight first.

She used both her wand and her wandless magic abilities to cast and block spells. She even used her psychokinetic abilities to throw objects at him. Seeing the both of them dueling as such, nobody could have suspected one of the protagonists was blind.

They even managed to cast a spell at each other and lock their respective wands. Severus remembered then that Lorena's wand was identical to his own. Not only the wood but the core too, was the same. He was aware of that but she wasn't.

"Looks like my wand cannot defeat yours, Professor," Lorena said. "And that your wand cannot defeat mine either." From what she knew about wandlore, she realized then that her wand was identical to her professor's.

Severus could not but concur. "Let's break our spells, will you ?"

They broke their spells and for the first time in about twenty minutes, they had a bit of rest. Lorena realized then that she was out of breath, and a few drops of sweat rolled on her forehead. Severus felt hot too, especially as the girl had conjured up fires close to him several times, while using other spells. She was tough but he liked that.

He tried a last spell with no warning. "_Expelliarmus_ !" The powerful incantation reached her, her wand flew away from her hand, and threw her to the ground at the same time. But at the same time, she threw in all her psychokinetic powers that would attract her opponent's wand-hand to her in order for her to grab his wand. Severus was surprised as she had blocked her mind, so that he could not guess her intention. Soon he found himself dragged irresistibly to her in a violent move – which was the desired effect. But she had invoked it with so much power and conviction in her mind that not only his wrist met her hand, but his whole body soon fell on hers.

For a second or two, both adversaries paused. In a silent spell, Severus moved his wand from his right hand – imprisoned by Lorena's nervous grip on his wrist – to his left hand. He was surprised by the force of her grip. Her hand could barely hold all of his wrist. Soon the wand probed her throat.

"Should I use the _Sectumsempra_ now, Miss Nottingham ?" Severus said with his deep, silky voice that always announced danger. "Pretty appropriate to slit your throat, don't you think ?"

Lorena did not know that spell but from what he had just said, it promised to be rather nasty. She kept her cold-blood under the threat though. He had his whole body laying on hers now – which brought back a pleasant memory of hers for brief seconds. She slid her free hand discreetly under his frock coat. "Do so and I'll set you on fire, sir… My hand is under your frock coat… Can you feel it, sir ?" Her voice was laced with scorn and humor, yet sugary and sensual. "I go down, you'll follow me quick, and we'll die together, Professor, together in blazing glory. What a lovely way to die… as such, in each other's arms." Her tone was collected, still scornful, yet downright flirtatious, sweet and purring. It showed no fear. Very Slytherin. "Such a lovely frock coat, so soft, so warm. That would be a pity, don't you think ?"

Severus' lips curled up in a smirk. True he had not felt her hand sliding under his garment and her move to him, so intimate at the same time, left him wonder. Her fingers had even slithered their way under his waistcoat, on his shirt. Now he could feel her fingers almost caressing him, with his shirt as the only barrier between her hand and his skin. He wondered what the effect would be of these fingers directly on his skin – while burying this thought deeply behind Occlumency. In any other circumstances, he would have resented her insolence but this time, it was different. She was brave – but differently from what a Gryffindor would be – and he greatly valued that. They were alone, no other students or teachers around.

Severus was aware he was in very close contact with her body. He had Occluded his mind so that she could not perceive any of the lustful thoughts that were now slowly yet surely creeping into his mind. Her breast heaved heavily with the efforts produced. Her lips parted a bit, red as cherry, the tip of her tongue licking slightly her lower lip in a completely out-of-reflex gesture. He resisted the urge to kiss her but he had to admit he would have done more than that to her. He would have taken her right now, sorting out the issue of Voldemort taking her virginity during some crazy Dark ritual for some crazy Dark purposes.

"I think there's another kind of magic you may perform with your hand on me, Miss Nottingham. I strongly advise you not to do it. You may live to regret it."

She smiled – having gathered his innuendo – and her fingers started to massage his back. "You mean there are other ways to put you on fire, Professor ?" Her tone was frankly ironic but still sugar-coated and sensual. Somehow she had perceived his trouble – and not necessarily through magic means or even extra sensorial perception…

"You cannot imagine, miss," he said in a breath.

They remained as such for a few extra seconds. Then Lorena enjoyed his obvious trouble to gather enough momentum with her body to overturn him and find herself on top of him, almost straddling him. Out of reflex, Severus had grabbed her waist. "I've got no doubt on that, Professor. Though I've never tried, I can imagine that easily," she said with a mocking, yet still purring tone. She summoned her wand using her psychokinetic abilities and stood up, soon followed by a Severus all the more impressed by her outspokenness. She had just confessed to him that no man had ever touched her – despite an attitude that would have led to contrary assumptions.

* * *

Lorena was tired by the D.A.D.A. training, more than she would have thought first. Surely she lacked training ! But at the same time, she knew she had given the Dark Art expert a run for his money. She asked Severus to be led to the library. He did so and left her there, promising her he would pick her up there for lunch.

Lorena had chosen to go to the library for a particular purpose. The Potions Master had mentioned a spell she did not know, at the very end of their fight. _Sectumsempra_. She wanted to know more about it though she suspected that it had something to do with cuts or wounds. Nasty stuff. Maybe even Dark stuff. But most likely useful stuff.

She searched the library, forgetting her tiredness. She found nothing in the general section. She enquired if she could go to the Restricted section and was granted access. There, she found a book about various spells and sat in a sofa nearby a window. She began to read but found nothing about the _Sectumsempra_ spell. Annoyed, she let her spirit wander, thinking about the Potions Master and their close contact in the morning. Lorena realized that she had been particularly daring and outspoken then. She blushed, thinking that it could be construed as advances from her. _Merlin ! What have I done ? How did I dare talk to him like that… about that ? He's a teacher and the Head of my House !_

She leaned in the sofa, still thinking about him. She may have been too forward but it had felt good at the same time. Good to feel his warm body on hers. Good to feel his hands around her waist. Good to feel his breath on her neck. Good to hear his deep, rich, silky voice whispering words of care and attention to her.

Lorena dismissed these thoughts. She made a mental note that she should be careful to hide them, in case he would use Legilimency on her. It would be her secret – and she had already said too much about it earlier this morning.

She kept on ready the book about spells. Maybe she could find other interesting stuff. But her mind kept on daydreaming about her Potions teacher. Soon she dozed off, tired by the mental efforts she had to make during the earlier training.

Severus found her as such, a book still open on her lap. She was spread on the sofa, her head resting in abandonment, her chest breathing slowly. She had removed her shoes to make herself more comfortable on the sofa and not to soil it. She looked relaxed. _Ready for the taking_, Severus thought, before regaining a firm grip on his lust.

He stayed there, looking at her sleeping. He remembered their final fight earlier. Her body against his own, reminding him of another fight a year ago, when she had become suddenly blind. He had found her body particularly flexible against his own. _No longer a girl's body, but a woman's. _

Her words were still ringing at his ears. _"You mean there are other ways to put you on fire, Professor ?"_ He sighed. _Oh yes. Other ways I could teach you, young lady. Have no doubt about that._ Another sigh. From what she had said, it was obvious she was still a virgin. One day, someone would have to show her what a man was and he wished for her that this man would not be the Dark Lord then. Instead, he wished for her it would be a loving man, a man that would be careful enough to take her gently and teach her the art of lovemaking.

He kept on watching her. Her petticoat showed, as well as a bit of her calves. She was shapely and it came to his mind that he could be that man. No, he _wanted_ to be that man. Severus may not be honest with others, but he was honest enough with himself to reckon that he desired her now.

He closed his eyes. He imagined himself kissing her, caressing her, making love with her. _When was it last time you had a woman ?_ He had been alone too much time. Maybe… she was so kind with him too, patient with his mood, caring in her own fashion. So talented too. And a Slytherin. A good match, in sort of.

_No ! I can't dream of that !_ After all, she would be his student for the next two years. _Indeed but she's of age, she'll even be 18 in a few weeks._ Besides, who would want a man like him ? A man that spent his time in the dungeons, designing dangerous spells and potions. A man that led a double life between his Headmaster and his Dark Lord, as a spy, a double-agent. A man whose life had been so miserable since his birth that it had left its very mark on his soul and his flesh – the Dark Mark was just a reminiscence of that. He was branded forever. Who would want him now ? _Certainly not a lovely girl like her._ He remembered the words he had told her, hoping she would not construe them as advances. Too bad, from a teacher to a student, even of age. Yes, there were other ways to put him on fire, body and soul.

The bell rang in the distance. Severus decided to wake her up. He got closer to her. He did then something incredible – at least in his opinion. He caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers in a delicate gesture. He enjoyed it, her skin was so soft. He even imagined how good it would be to kiss her there, even with a very shy kiss. Just once. _Lorena… _He should be entitled to at least a part of happiness, even a tiny part, even just once.

The girl stirred in her sleep and her eyes opened slowly. For a second or two, she seemed to enjoy the sweet caress. Then realization dawned on her. She had recognized who was caressing her cheek through her telepathic abilities, but she did not seem scared. Only one man could do that and she was glad it was him. Slowly, her hand joined his on her cheek and she closed her eyes, her gaze in the void, enjoying the silent moment. Her touch was so gentle too on his hand.

"I didn't want to frighten you, Miss Nottingham," Severus began to explain, trying to hide his feelings.

"You don't frighten me, Professor Snape," she whispered back.

"All the same." Then he glanced at the book on her lap. "What were you reading ?" His hand left her cheek to pick up the book.

" 'Advanced Spell Casting', sir. But I didn't find what I was looking for."

"And what was it, that you were looking for ?"

Lorena sat down. "Tell me more… tell me more about…" Her pale gray gaze turned up to him. "About the _Sectumsempra_ spell, sir." As he remained silent, she insisted. "The spell you alluded to, when…"

Severus peered at her, curious to hear the rest of her explanation. "When, Miss Nottingham ?"

"When you suggested you could slit my throat, sir."

"Oh. And when you retaliated you'd put me on fire." His voice had taken a sensual tone that made Lorena blush – more than his own words or the memory of the situation. Unless it was all of them put together. She nodded in approval.

Severus sat down on the sofa beside her. "I would not have used it against you, Miss Nottingham." His tone was serious.

"Dangerous stuff, isn't it, sir ? Or should I rather say… Dark stuff ?"

Severus pondered whether he should explain it to her or not. Knowing her, she would insist he teach her the spell. _But she may need it if she is confronted to a band of Death-Eaters._ "Yes. The _Sectumsempra_ can inflict very nasty wounds, similar to sword slashes. Should I have cast it on you this morning, it would have cut your carotid and you would have died in a few minutes." _Just enough time for you to put me on fire though. Both of us leaving in blazing glory…_

Lorena's attention was caught. "Why… why is it not considered as an… Unforgivable Curse then ? Sir ?" She had whispered, not wishing to be heard by someone else than the man sitting beside her. Severus appreciated her discretion.

"That's because it's not very well known. Actually, only one person knows about it."

Lorena let the words sink in her. "You." A pause. "That's why I could not find any explanation or description about it in books." She swallowed. "You're the only one to know about it because you created it, didn't you ?"

Severus looked at her, hoping to meet her gaze. But that would be useless. She was blind. So he got closer to her and whispered into her ear. "Yes." She felt his breath on her cheek as he was uttering that single word. It was warm and she turned her head slowly to him. "Now you know about it too." His voice was but a murmur.

"Maybe… you could teach it to me then, sir ? Unless you wish to keep it as a secret weapon for your own use only." Their faces were only an inch or two away. "You didn't mention it by chance, did you, sir ?" she added in a breath.

"No," he reckoned. "You need to know it. I will… I will teach it to you." Silence grew between them, as well as the sweet tension building up since the training had ended. Severus was looking at her, his dark eyes burning like charcoal. Lorena's lips parted a bit, trembling with the emotions she was feeling. Emotions coming from both him and herself.

Suddenly, her head turned away from him. "Someone's coming, Professor. I can hear footsteps."

That was a faint noise but it grew louder. The librarian was approaching and when she found them, Lorena was putting her on her shoes while Severus was putting the book back into its place on the shelf.

"Oh, here you are ! I wanted to make sure there would be nobody left trapped here while I'm out for lunch !"

Severus had his trademark smirk. He would have loved to be trapped in the library with Lorena and nobody around to disturb them. "No, Ms Pince, don't worry. I was here to pick Miss Nottingham from her reading."

The librarian shot a glance at the girl. The blind student gave her the creeps, she had to admit it, with her strange pale gray gaze. Lorena sensed it somehow and she smiled at the librarian in order to reassure her. "I thank you, Ms Pince, for granting me exceptional access to the Restricted Section."

"Did you find what you were looking for ?"

Lorena seemed to hesitate for a second. "No, I didn't. But I found something else, so I didn't lose my time. In fact, I never lose my time here, you know. I'll come back."

Severus found her reply clever. The girl knew what she was doing. And what she wanted too. He took her by the elbow and guided her outside to the Great Hall.

Ms Pince looked at them both suspiciously. She held Professor Snape in high esteem as he was very fond of reading, was a wellspring of science, and above all because he was able to silence any trouble-maker with a frown and a whispered order. He was a powerful wizard too and a Slytherin – in this regard, he was more than respected. He was _feared_.

As for the girl… She was a Slytherin too, said to be recipient of weird magical powers and since she had become blind, she was even weirder. All reasons enough to be careful with her. Most of all, she seemed to have the favor of the Potions Master. _Is there something between them ? They look quite close together,_ the librarian wondered. _Haven't heard them much when they were together behind that shelf… _

Ms Pince dismissed that thought quickly though. Someone like Professor Snape was not the kind of man to be interested in a student. And the library was supposed to be a quiet place anyway.

* * *

**_Please rate & review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	9. Adagio for Strings

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**9**** – Adagio for Strings**

One week had already elapsed since Lorena had come back to Hogwarts. She felt good there and despite a few changes in her habits compared to her five previous years, she had the feeling that somehow she was back home. Actually, Hogwarts was the closest thing she had as a home since her grandmother had died the year before.

Her lessons with Professor Snape and the other teachers gave good results. She had not lost her touch in most teachings and despite few adjustments to make, she felt confident she could finish her schooling there and graduate as a certified witch and why not, try to train as a medi-witch.

But there was one thing she had not resumed practicing yet. It was Saturday afternoon, and nothing had been scheduled. The weather was not so great and rain had even been forecast for the end of the day. Lorena sighed.

Severus had gone out and had not told her anything about it. They shared quarters (the sitting room and his library) but they were not living together – they were not a couple. She was the student and the person in need of help – not the contrary. As a professor, Severus deemed he did not need to tell her what he did, where he went and when he was to be back. Besides he was pretty confident she would find her way in the castle if she really needed to go out. Slytherin resourcefulness.

Of course, he had been very kind, caring and gentle with her. She was surprised by his change of behavior. The former image of him as a dreaded teacher in his classroom and a tyrant – even a devoted tyrant, but still one anyway – in the Slytherin House, was slowly fading away. He was nice and she had even perceived his trouble in the library earlier. A trouble that echoed her own. Why was she feeling so attracted to him ? What had happened ?

Lorena did not wish to reply to these questions right now. She was about to send a message to the Headmaster, which contained a letter to her father. Albus Dumbledore had agreed to have it sent by Muggle mail post as her father was in jail. She had had a great joy in telling her father that she was back to Hogwarts and that she would be okay to continue her education there. He had learned she had become blind but he was confident she would manage. He was right.

In his last letter to her, George Lord Nottingham had insisted about a point she had not been able to take care then. Her practice of music. He was right. She had been practicing the alto violin for several years and he was concerned that she would stop because of her new disability. Being blind was compatible with being a musician. Lorena had made a mental note then that she would try.

Now the time had come. Her father was right. She would give it a try – just a try. She had nothing to lose. Except a bit of pride. So what ? She was alone and nobody could see her fail but herself – if she failed. She smiled and retrieved the case containing her violin at the bottom of her trunk.

Where could she practice without frightening the whole castle ? She snapped her fingers, happy with her idea. Slytherin resourcefulness, as usual. There was one place that was deserted now, devoid of any student and teacher presence alike.

The Slytherin common room.

* * *

Lorena took her case, checked that everything she needed was there, and left Severus' quarters. He had not told her when he would be back and he would think that she would be in the garden or at the library. He would not suspect she would be in their House common room. Or would he ?

She did not need to remember too hard to know where the Slytherin common room was located in the castle. They were nearby the dungeons. The whole dungeons were Slytherins' domain actually. The present Head of the House was Professor Snape himself and his private quarters, his office, his lab and his classroom, were located in the dungeons. She remembered the Slytherin dorms were in the same area too, not very far, just beyond the common room. She had spent five years there, she had the place plotted in her brain most likely forever. She could find it her eyes blindfolded. Well, she was blind now, so it was the same.

Lorena went out of Severus' quarters and put the wards into place once out. Then she ventured in the corridor alone. Alone for the first time since she had been back here. One hand holding the case, the other on the wall, she was careful with each step.

At one moment, she felt a cold breeze on her neck. She froze in her tracks. She had perceived a supernatural presence. Surely one of the castle ghosts.

"Baron ? Is that you ?" she asked cautiously. After all, he was the Slytherin House ghost. She did not wish Peeves around. The Hogwarts poltergeist would be too delighted to take advantage of her disability and play not-so-funny pranks at her.

A scornful laughter replied to her. "Indeed, lovely Slytherin girl."

Lorena sighed in relief. She had recognized the Baron's voice. "Hello, Baron, glad to hear you." Better be polite.

"Ah, Lorena, my pleasure. But where are you going now ? There's nobody left here in the Slytherin quarters at this time of the year."

"You're here, Baron," she replied with humor in her voice.

"That's different, girl. But you, what are you doing here ?"

"I want to go to the Slytherin common room. I don't think this should be a problem, I belong to that House."

Another laugh, no scorn this time though. "Of course. Save that you went into the wrong direction. Let me guide you, girl."

Lorena did not know whether she had to laugh or roll her eyes. But the Bloody Baron had always been nice with her. "Turn on your heels and follow the cold air draft," the Baron said. As she was hesitating, he scorned her : "I won't lose you in some dark endless corridor, girl ! Professor Snape would never forgive me for that. Come on !"

Lorena did as told and soon, her hands and feet recognized the place. He had been right and she was grateful to him. Soon her hand touched the common room door. "Baron ? Are you still here ?"

"Yes, Slytherin girl."

"Do you know the password to enter the room ?"

"You don't know the password ?"

"In case you had not noticed, I've not spent this last year here in Hogwarts, you know."

"Oh, yes, I remember !" He seemed to search his memories. The coldness around intensified. Lorena knew he was close to her and she heard him whisper the password into her ear.

"Thank you so much, Baron !" she said with genuine gratefulness in her voice.

"Can I stay with you, girl ? Just in case you need to know your way back."

Lorena suspected he was curious to know what she would do there. But she gave in. He was just a ghost after all. "Sure. But no comment, please. Just silence. That's all I want."

She entered the common room. In a flash, she could see the layout in her mind and stepped forward, a hand before her. Nothing had changed, except for a few armchairs. She found one and sat in it. She opened her case and got out her violin.

She smiled at herself and let her hand caress the wood. It was like meeting a good friend again. "I've missed you, pal." She took her bow in hand and began to tune the instrument.

After a few minutes doing so, and satisfied with the result, Lorena began to play a few pieces she knew by heart. She got an idea. She had a few sheets with her and wondered if the reading spell could read music. _Worth trying._ She took her wand out and moved it on the sheets. The scores appeared in her mind and she let out a joyful yelp. She promised herself she would tell Severus about it… and changed her mind immediately. _No. He doesn't need to know about this. Nobody knows. Well, except the Bloody Baron._

"Baron ? Can you keep a secret ?"

"Yes, girl. What is it ?"

She thought for a second or two. "Swear it, that you can do so. Swear it on your Slytherin honor."

She could feel he was taken off guard. "I swear, lovely Lorena. On my Slytherin honor."

"Okay, then. Please do not tell anybody that I come here to play music. Not even to the other ghosts and even less to Peeves."

The ghost agreed provided he could come and listen to her – if it was fine music and nicely played. "This is indeed a good place, there's nobody around, you should be alright, girl. But how would you proceed once everybody's back ?"

"We'll see then, Baron. But swear you won't tell anybody. You may stay if you like it, or you may go if it's too horrible to listen to. No offense taken."

"No offense intended, Slytherin girl. Go on."

Lorena paused a moment. She tried to remember a piece she particularly loved. She put her instrument back into place and began to play something easy first. It was not that easy though as she had not played for quite some time. But as time went by, she felt more confident with her instrument, her sensations and reflexes were back, and she began to really enjoy herself immensely.

When she was done with the piece, she heard clappings. "Baron ? I said no comments, please !"

"This was no comment, lovely Slytherin girl !" the ghost replied with a half-shocked, half-mocking tone. "This is appreciation ! Go on !"

Lorena knew better. She complied and played another easy piece she knew by heart. Feeling confident, she went on with a slow piece.

The music went up the ceiling in the Slytherin common room. The room was really great to play in, with a superb sound. Lorena's foot was tapping the ground silently, to keep on measure. The piece was supposed to be played by a whole group of string instruments, ranging from bass to violin. She could hear the other instruments in her mind while playing her part.

Suddenly, she was hit full force by a powerful feeling of nostalgia. She was playing with all her heart and soon, tears welled up in her eyes. She loved that tune to pieces, having heard it hundreds of times before. Now, playing it was like doing magic. Without a wand but with powerful emotions. She felt something was filling up the room like it had never been filled up before that, even with the whole House student body present there.

The music went on, coming from her violin, in a heart-wrenching crescendo. Tears began to roll on her cheeks, but Lorena went on. She had to. Then, she paused for a few seconds, hearing the lengthy silence imposed there by the composer, before resuming in a more serene but still as deep feeling.

Lorena went on, still crying. She felt sad for her lost eyesight and all the beauty in the world she would never see again. Would she able to see again one day ? The music ended with a smoothing feel in grave sounds and she let it die in the deep silence of the Slytherin common room.

She put her violin aside and grabbed a handkerchief to dab her eyes and cheeks. The emotion was too strong and she let a sob out. Then she heard something. She felt a presence. "Who's there ?" Maybe she had awoken some lonely soul around from its dark abode in the dungeons.

"Just me, Miss Nottingham," she heard a deep, silky voice whisper nearby her, while a warm hand was touching her shoulder gently.

"Professor Snape ?" she exclaimed, taken off guard. "But… what are you doing here ?" she asked before realizing how stupid her question was. This had been his common room too, well before she had entered Hogwarts. He was the Head of the House.

Severus had a smirk though he knew she could not see him. "I could return you the question, miss."

"She's playing music for me !" the Baron hollered from the chimney mantel where he had sit. "Won't you dare disturb her !" he growled.

The Potions Master did not even pay attention to the ghost. "It's very beautiful indeed. What is it ?"

"A Muggle piece, sir. _Adagio for Strings_, by an American composer named Samuel Barber."

"It makes you cry."

"It always does," Lorena murmured. "Don't worry about it, Professor," she lied. She dabbed her eyes again.

Then Severus noticed the handkerchief. The same one he had given her last year, when he had soothed her after she had discovered she had become blind.

"You still have it."

Puzzlement could be read on her face. "What ? What are you talking about, sir ?"

"The handkerchief."

Lorena felt she blushed and turned her face away. "Yes," was all she could say. But the word only conveyed many things that a Legilimens like Severus Snape could read in her mind. He smiled.

"I missed the beginning. Please could you play it again ? For me ?"

Lorena turned her face to him again. "I will, Professor. My pleasure."

She put her instrument under her chin and again, she played the _Adagio for Strings_. But this time, she did not cry. Feeling Severus just beside her was enough to give her strength and keep nostalgia at bay.

* * *

Lorena went on playing for another hour. She was delighted to play for Severus as she felt he was more relaxed. She played a joyful, fast-paced tune with her violin and the Baron was dancing in a corner of the common room.

After one hour spent like this, Severus told her they'd better come back to his quarters. Lorena agreed and put her violin back into its case, along with the bow and the few scores she had with her. She told him eventually that the reading spell he had cast on her wand could read her music scores too. He was glad for her though he did not show it. But his good mood was proof enough.

They left the Slytherin common room to go back to their quarters so that she could put her violin there. They agreed to go for a walk together outside.

Their steps led them down towards the lake shore. There was a bench under a willow. Without realizing it, they had arrived there. They both sat on the bench. The breeze was gentle, the air warm and the willow cast a sweet shade over them.

"This is one of my favorite places," Severus said, leading her to the bench.

Lorena felt the bench and she smiled. "Oh, one of mine too."

They both sat. "When I was a student, I used to come here and sat under the tree, with a book in hand," Severus replied, a slight emotion in his voice.

"I did the same too. But most of the time, I came here to just take in the view." There was nostalgia in her voice. Her features hardened under the sadness felt. "I guess these days are gone now."

Severus looked at her. She was staring at the lake, right in front of her, a frown on her face. Was she angry at her condition ? Then the Potions Master did something that he could not imagine he would ever do – even less with a student. He took her hand in his, massaging it with his thumb, his fingers eventually entangling with hers.

Lorena felt the physical contact but she let him do. She gave a squeeze to his hand, as if to acknowledge she appreciated his gesture. She lowered down her mental barrier a little, just enough to let his feelings enter her mind. Warm waves of comfort flowed through her. She closed her mind, trying to focus on these thoughts.

On her turn, she replied by sending Severus positive feelings that she enjoyed his company and kind attention. Focusing a little more, she managed to enter his mind discreetly. She perceived all the loneliness, the sadness, the bitterness he had felt during his life – and still felt. She perceived how much his soul was tortured, as well as all the regrets and remorse he harbored in his heart.

Feeling all this, a wave of compassion surged from her own heart. But the emotion was less discreet, he had felt it and suddenly, she felt he had raised his mental barriers. He released her hand at once.

_The girl is a contact telepath but she could make a good Legilimens__ too !_ he thought, remembering that Dumbledore had asked him to teach her Occlumency.

"I'm sorry, Professor," Lorena said, gathering she may had been too far. "I should not have done so. I did not mean to intrude or harm you."

Severus did not reply. He knew she had not done so with bad intentions. But he used to deal with nasty people and it had been a reflex. He sighed. "Professor Dumbledore wants me to teach you Occlumency first, maybe Legilimency after. I will teach you. Though I suppose that you may not need lessons to become a skilled Legilimens. Except for some manners in this regard." His tone had lost its warmth, he was back to his old grumpy ways.

Lorena knew better and she kept quiet. When Professor Snape was in that mood, better remain unheard and unseen. They said nothing for about five good minutes, time for him to simmer down. She had decided to let him speak first – unless he wished to come back to the castle. She knew he would have to bring her back there, he could not leave her alone.

Lorena was right. Severus resumed the conversation, on a whole another subject. "How come you managed to spent five years here without playing the violin ?"

Lorena smiled in herself. She had perceived his curiosity was the strongest. "I played here. I didn't wish to lose all the years before spent learning and practicing, you know."

"And where did you play then ?"

"Here sometimes, when there was nobody. But most of the times… Hagrid's."

"Hagrid's ? So he knew that you played ?"

Lorena turned her head towards the Potions Master. "Yes. He was the only one. Nobody else knew. Not even the Headmaster." A pause. "Hagrid said that my music could soothe the most agitated and savage of his magical creatures." Then she turned her head towards the lake again, as if lost in her own memories of a time when she was not blind.

Severus looked at her. She had managed to keep her secret for five years, without nobody noticing it. _Very smart girl. She's more Slytherin than I'd have thought first after all._

"Usually the Headmaster knows everything that goes on here. I'm surprised that he did not know."

"Oh, maybe he knows. But it never came back to me. Though he may suspect something. After all, I'm sure I'm not the first and only student to know music. Look at all the Muggle-born students here – they probably learned to play an instrument before attending. It's rather common and parents have their kids beginning to learn at an early age."

"Was that your case ? I mean, when did you start learning ?" Severus was more interested than he would have admitted.

"I was five when my parents had me got my first piano lesson. We're musicians in my family. My mother was a music teacher. My father is a musician in a band – when he's not busy ripping someone else off or rotting in jail. Then I followed with the violin the year after." She smiled. "Been more than ten years." A shadow passed on her face. "I stopped the lessons at our local music school when I entered Hogwarts but I had promised my parents that I would continue to practice anyway. Which I did. There is no music teacher here, so I gave up with the idea of having lessons. But not with the practice. I knew enough to have fun with my instrument. Though I would have loved to get better with proper lessons. Playing an instrument requires a lot of self-discipline and effort and perseverance. But what a reward, what a pleasure !"

Severus began to understand why she was having such good grades in class. She had discipline, more than the average students. He had noticed that. She was used to do things without being told. She had no problems in working hard – that was like a second nature to her. He could relate to her work ethics too. He was like her. Whether the Dark Arts or Potion Making, these were things that required time, practice and effort before achieving a decent result.

"Now looks like you have found yourself a new place where to play."

"The Slytherin common room ? It's great indeed. Never tried it before. Beautiful sound."

"You may play there till the students come back."

"Do I have your permission, Professor ?"

"Of course you have it. After everybody's back, we'll find another solution so that you may continue. Besides, you may play in your room too."

Lorena smiled at him. "You're so kind with me, Professor." This time, her hand searched his and found it. She gave it a gentle squeeze. Severus did nothing against that and they remained as such for long minutes, in complete silence.

From a distance, anybody could have thought that they were a couple holding hands lovingly. But nobody was around to spot them, except the quiet lake spreading its gray waters in front of them, except the willow which hid them with its branches almost down to the ground, except, maybe, the giant squid when it surfaced.

How long they stayed as such – they could not have told – in complete silence. But the sun was slowly setting, and Severus whispered to her they should come back to the castle before dark. He helped her to go to her feet, put her hand in his elbow crook and they both came back to their quarters.

* * *

_**Someone said one day that the silence after a Mozart piece was still music. The same can be said of the **_**Adagio for Strings**_**, composed by Samuel Barber, American composer, one of my favorite pieces. Listen to it and you'll hear why. Those than can tell why in their reviews will have virtual chocolate cookies. Just kidding - but about the silence, that's true.**_

_**There's a wonderful performance thereof by conductor Leonard Slatkin and the BBC Orchestra (dated Sept 15, 2001) on YouTube, which is truly heartwrenching. I wrote a great part of this story listening to it actually.**_

_**Please rate & review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	10. The most powerful magic

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**10**** – The most powerful magic**

Severus enjoyed Lorena's company more and more. He liked how she could remain silent for hours. He suspected she was sometimes in her own world, and he had to admit he wanted to use _Legilimens_ on her so that he could share that world with her. It surely had something to do with her blindness.

Sometimes, Lorena played in her room – when she was sure he was not in his quarters. She did not wish to disturb him as she deemed her playing was not so great. Besides she enjoyed the great sound of the Slytherin common room. The high ceiling, the large space, the stone walls, all this provided a beautiful sound. Severus insisted then to come with her and she played for him too her favorites pieces. It had something soothing on him too.

In particular, he enjoyed the nostalgic pieces she played – they suited his soul fine, though for different reasons than hers. He read or listened to her, watching her playing. But most of the time he just sat in front of the fireplace, his black gaze lost in deep reflections. Music helped him think about the dangerous part he was playing as a spy for the Order of the Phoenix in the battle against the Dark Lord. He had chosen his side now but it could never erase the bad choice he had made earlier when a younger man, in his late teenage years. Nor the terrible memories of the horrible things he had had to commit then – and still had sometimes on the Dark Lord's orders, just to avoid blowing up his cover. Never. The Dark Mark on his left forearm was a painful reminder of this. This would be a cross he would have to bear till his last breath. An already very heavy cross, that may become heavier and heavier with time. A weight that even the death of Lord Voldemort would not alleviate. He knew it. He knew that even well after the death of the Dark Lord, he would still be living with all this. Remorse and regret.

Lorena's music soothed what remained of his shattered soul, even temporarily, relieving it a little bit, making his burdens a little bit lighter even for a moment.

Lorena was playing better and better. Music was a field where she felt really at ease, mastering her art while she felt diminished elsewhere. She knew there were many things she could do alone but most of the time, she needed someone. Though that someone… Professor Snape was good company to be with as he knew the virtue of silence, despite his scathing remarks. But he was kind with her. The way he cared for her showed a man far different from what he usually was in class. He was good enough to encourage her to follow her path alone. He knew intuitively when to back off to let her go alone first. Alone but never lonely.

When Severus was watching her play, he noticed that she was crying silently while playing. He had noticed she was the kind of woman to cry silently. He understood then why she did not wish to be seen playing. He would not like to be seen in such a state either. He was surprised that she let her emotions take control over her in that fashion, in front of somebody else – namely him. He realized that was her way to release the strong emotions that wrung her soul. She felt better after that, as if appeased. He wished he could find a way to appease his own soul – though he knew that it could not be possible. The peace he could get was only temporary, and once Lorena had finished playing, the solace was gone.

She still had his handkerchief at hand to dab her tears. He had been surprised that she had kept it all this time since last year. He had not wished to ask her to have it back. The young woman seemed to give it a particular importance and he respected that.

His past as a Death-Eater, his present as a double-agent, were not the only topics of reflections and concerns for Severus. The Potions Master's thoughts focused sometimes on the young musician nearby him. He had to admit that she was taking more and more place in his life, body and mind. First he refused to acknowledge it. She was a student and a charge he had to protect. But Severus was not the kind of man to lie to himself. He had done so before and he knew the price to pay was too high. He reckoned she had become important in his life. Important because she brought him some kind of joy, consolation and peace he had never thought he would feel again.

She may also provide him with something he had not had in ages. He felt a physical attraction to her. A powerful attraction. She could help him find relief in his own soul but what about physical relief ? Lust, longing, need, want, desire. These words danced in his mind, churning in his body. Violently.

When he was watching her playing, he was moved by her agile fingers on her instrument, by the heart-wrenching expressiveness she gave to the music, by her tears on her cheeks as she played – especially the _Adagio for Strings_ – by the emotions her face displayed, sometimes of joy, energy, anger, most of the times anguish, depending on the tune she played. She looked as if she was stricken by a Cruciatus curse when her face displayed pain. Severus could feel her emotions, and despite his mental training, he could not help but feel pain with her and for her too. He wanted to take her in his arms and soothe her. To take her too, for his own pleasure. Lust again.

But he could not. He could admit lustful feelings for her but it could not go beyond. She was a student of his own House and he was her protector. As time passed by, he felt something stronger for her but he crushed this mercilessly deep down his already torn soul.

* * *

A few days later, Severus felt a strong pain in his left arm. The Death Mark was more vivid than ever. The Dark Lord was summoning him. He rushed to Dumbledore to inform him that he had to leave, most likely for three-four days. The old Headmaster understood and wished him good luck.

"Do you want me to tell Miss Nottingham, Severus ?"

"No. I will do it myself. Without all the details of course. I need to go to my quarters first."

Albus did not insist and the younger wizard left his office. He thought about all the dangers and pains he was putting his Potions Master through. He knew that Severus Snape had iron nerves and endurance but all the same – how long should this continue ? He thought about the girl too. He felt strange that Severus went back to his chambers to inform the girl of his absence. He had noticed they spent most of their time together and not necessarily for academic purposes. They seemed to enjoy each other's company. If she could bring some relief to his tormented soul, that was good in his opinion. Severus did deserve it after all the sacrifices he had made – and still continued to make for the Greater Good. And yet, the worse may be ahead.

Severus went back to his quarters. He wanted to take a painkilling potion against the burning mark printed on his flesh. He wanted to take a vial of it for his return. _If I come back._ Besides, he wished to inform Lorena that he would be away for a few days. For reasons unclear to him, he wanted to inform her about his absence. Not that he was compelled to do so, but he thought he should tell her out of honesty.

He found her on the sofa, reading. She had her wand in hand for reading but she had heard him in the corridor. She was ready with her wand in hand, her head toward the door, determination to act showing in her empty pale gray eyes.

"That's only me," Severus said. He did not wish her to hex him. Not before a meeting with the Dark Lord. He had to be fit.

A smile crept on her lips. "Oh, Professor."

"Listen to me, Miss Nottingham. I will have to leave Hogwarts for a few days. Just came back to inform you of this."

The smile on her lips faded away. "How… how long will you be away ?" she asked with a small voice. Severus could have sworn he had detected anguish carefully hidden in her tone.

"Three or four days. I don't know that yet." He looked at her. She looked a bit sad to be separated from him. "Don't worry. Albus Dumbledore knows about this and he will keep an eye on you. Think of that, you'll have plenty of time to practice your music."

"All the same, Professor. I will miss your encouragements." She paused, fearing she may have told too much. "Wherever you go, take real good care of yourself, Professor," she said gently, a smile on her lips.

Severus was somewhat touched by her words – even if he buried his feelings deep down inside of him. Going to see the Dark Lord was dangerous and stressful. It could be a one-way trip too, never to come back.

A knock on the door could be heard. Severus opened the door and Dumbledore was standing there. He let him enter. "What can I do for you, Headmaster ?"

"For me ? Nothing. I think it would do us good, me and Miss Nottingham, if we could accompany you to the castle gates, before you Apparate." Saying so, he went to the girl and patted her shoulder. She had heard what he had just said and was putting on her shoes.

Severus was looking at them both, a scowl on his face. He was not very happy. He had never appreciated lengthy goodbyes. But the Headmaster had thus ruled and there was surely a good reason for that. Dumbledore never did things without a good reason behind it.

They left the Potions Master's quarters together, Albus offering his arm to Lorena, which surprised Severus and made him scowl even more. That was usually _his_ part. Dumbledore watched him as if he had noticed nothing but behind his half-moon glasses, the old man knew perfectly what he was doing – making the younger wizard realize a few things. His steely blue eyes were gleaming.

Once in front of the gates, Severus was readying himself to Apparate. He wore his Death-Eater cloak, his mask hidden under it. The Headmaster bid him goodbye and good luck again. Then Lorena escaped his arm.

"Professor Snape !" she said, while rushing towards him. She had felt where he stood when he had replied to Dumbledore. She flung herself against Severus, her hands on his chest. She tiptoed so that her mouth could whisper something into his ear.

"Come back to us quickly," she murmured. "Alive and well." He could feel her breath on his ear, then the very slight touch of her mouth on his cheek, in a sweet caress.

Instinctively, he put his hands onto her waist. "I will, Miss Nottingham." His tone was all the more serious. His black gaze bored into her empty pale gray eyes and for a second, he would have sworn she could see.

He had not told her anything about where he was going but she must have sensed that it was a dangerous place. A rush of compassion overwhelmed him and he knew for certain that it came from her.

Then their bodies separated and he left the place. Albus Dumbledore took her arm to get her back inside the castle. "He will come back, Lorena. He had always come back."

* * *

Lorena had decided she would not let her anguish take the best of her. Therefore she resorted to the best remedy she knew beside reading : music. She took her violin and spent the whole afternoon in the Slytherin common room.

Of course, when Dumbledore went to come and pick her up for dinner at Severus' quarters, she was not there. But something else caught his attention. Something he had never heard at least in this part of the castle. Music.

He followed the sound and it led him to the Slytherin common room. There, the music was quite distinct and for a few seconds, he was taken aback. He pondered whether he should interrupt that or enter quietly. He opted for the second idea. He cast a silencing spell on him and entered the room. He sat in a chair opposite to the girl and watched her playing, unbeknownst to her.

She was playing the _Adagio for Strings_ – that definitely suited her present mood. Albus noticed that she was living her music deeply as tears were rolling down her cheeks as the crescendo went on and on before a silence of several seconds. Then the music resumed with the gravest sounds the instrument could give.

Dumbledore could feel all the powerful feelings the young woman let go of her. He was not surprised by them. He was just surprised as to their powerful extent. This place and time were probably the most convenient for her to release her feelings. He made a mental note to remind his Potions Master to teach her Occlumency as a priority. He knew she had a firm grip over the possible mental projections from others, above all as a contact telepath. But her own ? Music was probably the only way for her to let her guard down and let emotions flow freely from her, inside and out.

The piece ended and Albus removed the silencing charm on him. "That's very beautiful, Lorena," he said softly, as not to startle her.

Lorena did startle anyway. But she calmed down at once as she had recognized his voice. "Professor Dumbledore ! How did you… ?"

The old man smiled. "I just went to your quarters to pick you up for dinner and you weren't there. But I heard the music and it led me here." He paused. "It's very beautiful. Ah, music… One of the most powerful magic ever."

"One of the most powerful magic ?"

"Yes, young lady. In fact, there are only two most powerful magic, which are more powerful than everything we can teach here combined. More powerful than the Dark Arts may ever conjure up."

"And that is ? You mentioned music, what about the other ?"

Dumbledore watched her carefully. "The other one is love." He had stated that as if it had been obvious.

"Love and music…" Lorena bemused.

"Yes. Music can stir up emotions from very deep down the most tortured soul. As for love… some say it's primitive magic because it comes back a long way in mankind's history. See what love can do to people sometimes."

There was a hint of nostalgia in his voice which did not escape Lorena. "Yes, some people can do many things because of love. Well, I suppose, because I don't know much about it. But history is full of examples."

The old Headmaster smiled at her. She was innocent indeed but no fool. "Let's go to dinner, Lorena. It's time. Pack up your things, I'll accompany you to the Great Hall. Oh, by the way, would you agree to give us a small concert one of these evenings ?"

Lorena was packing her violin and scores. She was surprised by his suggestion. She had never intended on performing her art in front of other people. "In fact, I play alone, you know."

"I can see that you have some audience here. The four House ghosts are here."

"The four ?" Lorena frowned. "Baron ! You had sworn me that…"

"That I would make no comments while here. Ghosts have ears, Slytherin girl !" The Bloody Baron protested. "I didn't tell them to come and listen to you. They heard you and liked it. No comments made."

He was right and Lorena gave up. "Alright, alright." _Dead but still so Slytherin…_

"Besides, I don't see why the other ghosts would be deprived of your performance while some distinguished members of the faculty come here regularly to enjoy your music !" the Baron said to clinch his argument.

_How Slytherin_, Albus thought. "Thank you for the compliment, Baron."

"I was not alluding to you, Headmaster. Though you are a distinguished member of the faculty."

Albus was getting an idea of who the ghost was talking about. "Ah well, who is it then ?" There was a twinkle in his eyes denoting he was having real fun now. Lorena remained silent, busy as she was to pack up.

"Professor Snape, of course !" The Baron said with a snicker. "He's here every possible time." He paused, time for him to wink at the other ghosts. "Looks like he enjoys it very much."

Lorena was ready, a scowl on her face. _Bloody Baron !_ But she had to reckon that one day or so, the Headmaster would have known the truth. She and the Potions Master were doing nothing bad either, with four ghosts around as chaperones. Moreover, she knew that the four ghosts would not be too much to keep Peeves at bay – especially the Bloody Baron. The poltergeist was a pest and the Slytherin House ghost was the only one, with Albus Dumbledore, to have some authority on him.

"I'm delighted to know that Professor Snape can find some solace, if not joy, in listening to your music," Dumbledore remarked. "Let's go, Lorena. Otherwise, there'll be nothing left for us to eat."

* * *

Lorena had left her violin case in Severus' sitting room. She may resume her playing later in the evening. Albus brought her to the dinner table like Severus used to do. She sat at her usual place. Lorena realized she was hungry and she knew she would have a good time.

Except that one person was missing. The Potions Master. Lorena felt anxious about him. She wondered where he could have been and what had become of him. She had felt, when she had greeted him goodbye, through her telepathic abilities, that he was bound to something dangerous. Moreover, a strong hunch told her that this was in relation with her blindness. She could not have said why but she just had a powerful gut feeling in that sense.

Albus Dumbledore was watching her closely, monitoring each of her reactions. Her pale gray eyes were empty, they revealed nothing but he could read on her face she was preoccupied. Maybe he would have a talk with her later – if she agreed. He sighed. Maybe he should tell her about the Dark Lord's plans about her. He struggled with the notion and decided against eventually. No, he would wait for Severus to be here. He would need to check it with him first before telling the girl.

* * *

_**For all those out of there who are geniuses and wizards with drawing and photo-manip, please feel free to use my work to spur your imagination - just provide me with the link so that I can admire your work and leave a review for it.**_

**_Please rate & review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	11. Back from the summons

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**1****1 – Back from the summons**

It was night but Lorena was not sleeping. Alone in the Potions Master's quarters, she was thinking about him. Outside, the full moon cast a glowing light around but she could not see it. The day had been hot and she had left her window open so that the night cool breeze could enter her room.

She could hear many noises and sounds. The castle and its surroundings were full of various noises and sounds. The giant squid splashing in the lake waters nearby. The owls in the owlery tower in the distance. Any other person may have not noticed these sounds but a blind's person's ear was otherwise more acute. She would have even sworn that she heard someone Apparate. _No, not possible. We cannot Apparate _inside_ the castle._

She sighed and leaned on her side. Instinctively, she slid her hand over her bedside table where she put her wand for the night. She did not feel as much protected when Severus was not around. They slept in separate rooms but she could feel his presence and it was reassuring. He had been away for three days already and the more he was away, the less she felt reassured about him. Of course, she trusted the castle protection spells, she trusted the Headmaster's powers to ensure everything was alright. But Severus' comforting presence was not nearby and she felt anxious. Anxious that he may be in danger, wounded, or even… dead.

Lorena pressed her wand in her hand. She remembered that it was the same as her protector's, except for its length – her own was two inches shorter. It was as if he had been there somehow. She repelled that idea. He was a man of flesh and blood, not a wood stick, however magical it could be. She closed her eyes and hoped ardently he would come back alive and well. Quickly.

She must have dozed off. For how long, she could not have said. But a sound in the castle nearby, maybe the corridor, woke her up suddenly. First thing, she grabbed her wand and got ready for action.

Her ears had heard right. Someone was entering the quarters. No, someone was _already_ in the quarters. Now her senses were fully open, as well as her extra sensorial perception. She focused on what was going on in the rooms next to her bedroom. It was clear that there was someone in the place. She got up from her bed and leaned her ear against the door. Whoever had entered, was now sneaking inside, as if to avoid to make noise. She wondered how she could surprise the intruder. _Unless it's him ?_

She heard someone stumbled against furniture. _Merlin ! Who could be that clumsy ?_ She made up her mind and opened her door silently, then slid inside the sitting room, her hand on the wall, feeling Severus' bedroom door, still closed.

Then she felt a body colliding with hers. She yelped, then heard a swear told by a male voice. His voice ! His deep, silky, rich voice.

"Professor !" She was both surprised and relieved to hear his voice. "You've come back !"

"Obviously…" His voice had suddenly turned hoarse, as if it had become difficult for him to breathe. Out of reflex, they had grabbed each other to avoid falling. Now he held her against his room door. She could feel his breath on her face. Something else drew her attention. He smelled blood. He was shaking uncontrollably too.

"Are you wounded, sir ?" Lorena asked bluntly.

For a second or two, the breath on her face stopped. "Professor ?"

"Help me get inside…" he rasped, before she could feel his body leaning against hers again. She slid her arm around his waist to support him. The tremors in his body had not subsided. She opened his door, on which he had just removed the locking charm. He guided her to his bed as he knew she had never entered the room and did not know the layout.

Once he felt his legs against the bed, Severus let go of her. He tried to sit on the bed but somehow, he was caught in his cloak and they both ended up falling there, Lorena's body on top of him. He winced and let out a groan of pain.

"Sorry, Professor," Lorena let out. She tried to pick herself up but she was still entangled in his cloak. Realizing this, she decided to move slowly, calmly, so that she may not aggravate his wounds. Because she knew he was wounded. She made herself as light as possible over him, her hands on his chest. He groaned again, his hands on her waist grabbing her tighter, as if he wanted to push her away.

"Wait, sir, your cloak's around me and I can't get away !"

Her quiet yet firm explanation was enough to simmer him down somehow. His hands grip on her relaxed but they still remained on her waist. "Where are you wounded, sir ?" Lorena asked softly.

"What… could tell you I'm… wounded ?"

"I can smell blood," she replied as a matter-of-fact.

Severus sighed. "Alright…"

"Let me help you."

The Potions Master wondered what help she could give him. She was blind, she was the one to be helped ! "I don't need your help ! Get away from here !" His voice carried something dangerous.

But Lorena was not one to be turned away easily. Her Slytherin peers would have said this was her Gryffindor side.

"No way, sir. You're wounded, you need help. I may be blind but I'm no fool. If I say I can help you, I mean it."

"Let me rephrase it then." He paused to catch up his breath. "I don't need a blind nurse, see ?"

She knew how to be a Slytherin when needed though.

"Oh, no problem, in that case," she replied scornfully. "You just need a nurse to restore your broken ribs and the lashes you got on your back, that's all. I can get Ms Pomfrey's replacement Healer. Unless you prefer to bathe in your own blood. Such a nice, soft bedcover. Silver and green, I presume."

Lorena tried to hide her hurt feelings under sarcasm. She felt scathed by his remarks. He knew she had wanted to become a medi-witch – now she was blind, that might be no longer possible.

She leaned over him, her mouth nearby his ear. "I'm blind enough not to be able to care for you. But I'm not blind enough to get some medical help for you. Sir." Her voice had lowered of one octave, laced with resent. "No need for you to remind me so. Sir."

Lorena managed to disentangle herself from his cloak and pushed herself away from his embrace, her hands on his chest. She leaned on him a bit more, pressing there and he moaned out of pain when she got up. She knew how to hurt too. _Damn girl ! Slytherin to the bone !_ Severus thought. But he admitted he had only himself to blame.

Despite her sarcastic comments, she felt bad for him. She could feel his pain, even on a physical level. The feeling was disturbing. She decided to counter it by sending a warm wave of relief and compassion to him. Severus felt suddenly better, at least safer, in himself. His shaking receded too. His subconscious perception told him that it came from the girl.

She was about to break physical contact with him when she felt a firm grip on her wrist. She turned to the Potions Master. "What ?" Her voice was still cross.

"Don't leave me…" He wanted the warm sensation she had sent him to continue. But he could not voice it as such. It was just a powerful sensation. He just needed the girl to stay with him. The sensation she had sent him had had a nice counter-effect on the tremors – consequences of the Cruciatus Curse he had received several times during the evening.

Lorena thought she had not understood correctly. She got closer to him.

"Don't leave me, Miss Nottingham… Stay with me… please." He took his breath. "My wounds are not so serious… they can wait for tomorrow. Please, stay with me… please."

_Severus Snape begging !_ she thought. _Well, it must be real serious._

"You're hurting my wrist," she stated with a reproachful tone.

"I'm sorry… if I hurt you, Miss Nottingham." He sounded sincere. Through the physical contact, she knew he was. She was aware it had cost him more than the effort to utter it too.

Lorena sighed. "Alright. Just let me get to the other side of the bed then."

Severus said nothing and released her, hoping she would not take the opportunity to flee his bedroom and get back to her own bed. He needed her presence more than ever – without being able to voice why.

Lorena did not flee. He felt her hands feeling his body and the bed to find her way. Doing so, she felt his legs on her way. She removed his shoes and laid his legs on the bed so that he could be more comfortable. Then she went to the other side of the bed and laid herself there. The bed was big but soon she felt his hand searching hers, grabbing her wrist eventually. "Thank you…" she heard him whisper before he fell asleep.

Lorena sighed. She felt happy he was back alive and in one piece. She was reassured that he was there. However, she felt weird to share his bed. She made herself comfortatble for him, his head on her chest, freeing her wrist from his grip, her wand still in her hand. Just in case. But at the same time, she knew he was not in a state to do anything against her. He just needed her presence. Instinctively, she sent him waves of comfort and compassion and his tremors disappeared gradually over time. She let it go and fell quickly asleep too.

* * *

**_Please rate & review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	12. Caring and healing

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**1****2 – Caring and healing**

On the morning after, Lorena woke up first. A detail indicating her she was not in her bed was the arm around her waist. A man was holding her tight against him. She wondered why and everything came back to her memory in a flash. The Potions Master had returned during the previous night, most likely wounded and she had surprised him on his way to his bedroom. She had wanted to make sure who was making noise then and they had both ended up together in his bed.

She was sure nothing had happened between them two as he was wounded and way too much exhausted to do anything. He had just begged her to stay here with him. She had accepted. He was weak, she needed to be reassured by his presence. And now, he was holding her firmly against him.

This arm of his around her body provided her with a good sensation though. Lorena remained awake for a few extra minutes, enjoying the moment. Due to his wounds on his back, Severus had laid on his side. She could feel his regular breath on her neck, in her hair. She remembered when they had both fallen together on the bed, her on top of him, his hands clamped around her waist. Usually she did not have a taste for such close contacts. But this time… she had to reckon it had been… enjoyable.

She realized that someone may enter his quarters and she did not wish to be found there. Well, he had set up wards but Lorena believed that the Headmaster may override them easily. Slowly, she disentangled herself from his warm embrace – regretfully though.

As she was trying to escape his embrace, Severus woke up. She felt a firm hand gripping her hip to keep her there. "Where you going ?" a hoarse voice asked.

"Getting you some help, sir. From the Hospital Wing…"

"No ! You won't…" He breathed deeply. "Get me Dumbledore... I need him..."

"But he's no healer, he…"

"Do as you're told !" Severus said harshly. Lorena was surprised to find such energy in a man as much wounded as he was. "Nobody else… in the castle… must know…"

_Must not know what ?_ she thought.

Lorena decided to obey his orders, no further questions asked. Something in her told her that she'd better not disobey him at this point. Especially if she had to spend the whole Summer with him.

She quickly went back to her bedroom, put on her black witch robes over her white nightgown, her slippers on her feet, and she left the place, hoping to find someone who could bring in the Headmaster to Severus.

She was not long to find someone. Argus Filch was patrolling, his cat Mrs Norris on his heels. He called her with his usual charming tone but when she explained to him that Professor Snape was in his quarters and needed the Headmaster, he agreed to lead her to Dumbledore's office.

Albus was already in his office. Lorena went quickly to the point and explained to him that the Potions Master had come back during the night, was wounded and had called for him. The old man dismissed the caretaker and he accompanied the girl back to Severus' quarters. Of course, she did not tell him she had spent the night in the same bed as her professor.

Severus was more or less dozing off when Dumbledore entered his bedroom. He checked on him and saw that he had indeed a few broken ribs. There was blood on him too and from what he knew of the Dark Lord's habits, Severus must have sustained torture at some point. He sighed and hushed up the whole matter.

"He must be wounded, I can smell blood," Lorena said softly.

Albus turned to her. He acknowledged her reply but offered no explanation. "Did you remove his shoes ?"

Lorena was surprised by the question. "Yes, to make him more comfortable. Oh, about the blood, I think he's received slashes on his back. He was shaking a lot too."

This time, Albus looked at her carefully. "How do you know that ? Did he tell you ?"

"No. I… I felt it. We were… in physical contact, at some point." From her voice, Dumbledore guessed that it had been unintentional and unplanned. He put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "He told me that nobody had to know. To know what, Professor ?"

The Headmaster looked at her again. "Ms Pomfrey knows things that her replacement Healer need not and should not know. That's all I can tell you, you have to accept it as such."

"You mean we cannot bring him to the Hospital Wing ? But how…"

"How will we take care of him ? You'll help me. The matter will stay in this room, between the three of us. That means that you'll have to keep silent on this. I had hoped you'd never come across this but things are, you have." He turned his face back to Severus. "He'll be fine. You'll help me take care of him. The Healer from St. Mungo's in replacement of Ms Pomfrey is not to take care of him, not even to know a single thing about all this. Nor he, nor anybody else here. Did I make myself clear ?"

"Yes, sir." Lorena felt ill at ease. She felt something big was behind all this. "How can I help you ?"

"Get him undress while I'll search in his bathroom for pain-killing and blood-replenishing potions in priority."

"Are you sure he'll be… fine ?" The girl's voice betrayed her slightly.

"Yes, he will. Now do as I said."

Lorena complied. She was unsure as how to undress her teacher. Her _teacher_. Her blindness was a blessing as she would not feel embarrassed as to his nakedness. She removed his cloak, frock coat, waist coat, shirt and tie. He was certainly the first man she undressed but it did not shock her. She thought that she was like a nurse or a Healer of some sorts – she had wanted to become a Healer herself.

Things came to her naturally, as she was concentrating on her task. She Levitated his body to remove the garments easily. He was a grown man, tall and she was too frail compared to him to have the strength to roll him over. Besides, she did not wish to hurt him more than he was already. Once she was done, she took his hand in hers, as if to comfort him. She thought about the strange reversal of roles. He was not blind, just thoroughly unconscious.

Dumbledore came back with the potions. He smiled when looking at the pair. "Yes, he'll be fine. Don't worry, he had always been. Thank you for taking care of him, Lorena."

Her pale gray eyes were empty but for a second or two, the old Headmaster thought he had seen a gleam in them.

They checked his wounds. Lorena had been right : he had several slashes there. Fortunately, they were superficial only and some of them have already begun to heal actually. Dumbledore handed Lorena a cloth and a bowl of dittany. "I'm no healer," the old man said, "but teaching and running a school taught me a thing or two." They both dipped their piece of cloth in the bowl and began to clean Severus' wounds. The Headmaster checked from time to time how Lorena did it to correct her if needed. She was doing fine. She even seemed to be a natural.

"Headmaster, how did Professor Snape end up with such wounds ?"

Dumbledore watched her carefully before replying. "This is something I cannot tell you. You shall not talk about this to anyone else here. This matter is to remain between you, me and Professor Snape only. As for the very reasons of this…" he paused to look at the wounds, "This is a business between me and Professor Snape only." His tone was final and Lorena perceived that she'd better not defy the Headmaster's orders.

"Yes, sir."

"Good. By chance, did you notice if he had any tremors when he arrived last night ?"

"Yes, he did. A lot. Rushing in by waves, I felt."

"What did you do then ?"

"I…" she cringed.

"Don't be afraid to talk, Lorena," Albus encouraged her.

"Professor Snape asked me to… to stay with him… in his bed. I did as told, I felt he needed it actually. He clang to me." She was sure she was blushing red.

"Excellent. Your contact telepathic abilities, I guess ?"

Lorena was surprised by his appreciation. "Yes, sir. I perceived the physical contact had a calming effect on these tremors."

"It has indeed. These tremors can be appeased with potions but the best remedy is, if possible, a physical contact. Certain Healers practice it but potions are deemed more practical. You must have healing capacities if your touch had managed to calm down his tremors."

"Well, I've never noticed that. Though I've always wanted to become a Healer."

"Then I'm confident I can leave Professor Snape in your good care." He turned towards the Potions Master. "Severus ? Severus ? Wake up, my boy."

The younger wizard woke up. "Albus ?..." he slurred.

"Severus, your wounds have been taken care of, cleaned and bandaged. Now, you'll be a good boy and drink your potions." Dumbledore did not wait for the man's consent and poured half of the two vials content down into the wounded man's throat.

"Now you listen to me, Severus. You're in your quarters, safe. I'll leave the instructions with Lorena regarding the rest of the potions that have to be given to you. She'll look after you and your wounds. She's perfectly capable of handling that. You'll obey her. That's MY order, nothing more to discuss." He had anticipated the younger man's protests.

Then addressing the girl : "Lorena, you'll have your meals here, I'll see to that, an house-elf will bring it to you here. I'll come back later with other potions from the Hospital Wing. If any problem, Floo me in my office."

Severus had intended to protest indeed but he was too weak to argue with the Headmaster. He did not dare say that the girl was blind as an excuse. He knew this was a lame excuse, given her abilities. He was well aware she had managed to advert the Cruciatus Curse tremor effect just by her touch.

Dumbledore led the girl outside the bedroom. "Professor, you mentioned tremors. What caused them ?"

Albus studied her for long seconds. "Certain curses have side-effects. Trembling is one of them."

"What curses ?"

"If I tell you, you'll keep the information and any guesses you may make about the information for yourself. Do I have your word on all this ? Severus' condition and all ?"

"Yes, Professor, you have it."

"Good." He took a deep breath. "The Cruciatus Curse is one of them."

"You mean that Professor Snape has been… Cruciated last night ?" Well, it looked logical, given the other wounds he had received too. "Forget my question. That's in line with the other wounds he sustained."

"Indeed. Now, have your meal when the house-elf will bring it to you. In two hours' time, you'll give Professor Snape the rest of the content of the two potions I just gave him. I'll bring you another set of these later. In the meantime, I suggest you stay in the same room as him, to keep an eye on him."

"I'm blind, Professor…"

Dumbledore chuckled. "Ah, yes… I've forgotten… No pun intended but you seem to catch up every thing around you so well, despite your disability. Surely your other abilities compensate."

"They do," Lorena said a bit more coldly than she had intended.

"Stay in physical contact with him. That's what I meant."

"I will, Professor." He left. Lorena went to the library in the sitting room and picked up a book. Her wand in hand, she went to Severus' bedroom, laid herself on the large bed beside him. She did not wish to touch him more than necessary but she projected her extra sensorial perception towards him. She decided to check his pulse from time to time regularly though. She was no Healer but she trusted her intuition as to recognize if something went wrong.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore came back later that day.

Lorena had taken time to get a shower and ready herself once she had made sure that Severus was asleep. She made real quick to come back to him. His pulse rate was fast and he seemed agitated by tremors again. Lorena dropped her book and put her hands on him, one on his chest, the other on his shoulder, sending him waves of comfort. The tremors subsided and he came back to a quiet sleep.

Following a hunch, she kept his hand in hers, squeezing it gently, like she had done when they had been on the lake shore. His hand was callous but soft at the same time. Her fingers entangled with his. They were agile and long. She sat closer to him, careful not to hurt or wake him up. She remained as such for long minutes, in complete silence. Then her other hand felt his arm, his shoulder, his neck, his face. She stroked his cheek gently, removing some of his hair from his face. They were like silk under her fingers and she felt moved at this very moment.

_Why do you need to be so brave ?_ she wondered with a sigh, thinking about Severus. Unconscious as he was, he could not access her thoughts, and she could not feel his own either. But Lorena did not care. She just wanted to be with him, comforting him with her sole presence. She remembered the night before, where and how she had spent it.

Severus was still asleep. There was no sign if he would come back to his senses. Lorena followed a strong hunch then. She managed to come back to her room and pick up her violin.

_Professor Dumbledore says that music is like magic. Let's see it then._

She took her instrument and began to play the _Adagio for Strings_. To maximize his chances to wake up, she put his hand on her thigh, so that they could be still in physical contact. She hoped that her feelings may pass on to him and arouse him somehow. She played pianissimo, pouring all she had in terms of emotion into the tune. Soon tears began to roll on her cheeks as the sweet sounds filled the closed space of his bedroom.

As she was progressing during the crescendo, going higher and higher, a tear of hers fell on his hand still motionless on her thigh. Another one followed, without her even noticing. And so on. Her face was showing her pain and sorrow, urging him to come back, her heart seemed to be caught in a vice, forcing her chest to breathe heavily under her strong emotion.

Then the crescendo ended abruptly with a silence of a few seconds. At this moment, Lorena felt a light squeeze on her thigh. She touched his hand and noticed that it was wet.

"Go on playing… it's not over…" she could hear him saying softly. "Please."

Lorena wanted to shout out of joy but she refrained from doing so and resumed the end of the piece, ending it with a feeling of relief and utter sweetness.

When she was finished, she bit her lip, not knowing what to do for a few seconds. _Music is truly one of the most powerful magic indeed._ She swore to herself she would never doubt what the Headmaster may tell her now. She put her instrument on the chair nearby.

"Oh, Professor !..." She pressed his hand in hers, realizing then that it was wet with her tears. A few drops and notes had been enough to get him back to the land of the living.

Very discreetly, Severus tried _Legilimens_ on her. He was not surprised to find out she had been utterly worried for him. Now she was utterly relieved he was far better.

* * *

**_Please rate & review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	13. The last minute addition

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**1****3 – The last minute addition**

When Severus came back to his senses, Lorena was here. He slowly opened his eyes, focusing on the person beside him, which was playing him music. Lorena was like an angel.

He squeezed his hand on her thigh. He had recognized her music and now his sight was back.

"I… I'll call Professor Dumbledore," she said as calmly as possible but Severus could feel she had a hard time containing her emotion. He had noticed that her eyes were crying. But he refrained from saying anything. She had been present. He also remembered the night before, when she had been sleeping beside him. She had been there for him too.

Lorena went to the fireplace and called Professor Dumbledore through the Floo. The Headmaster arrived by Floo a few seconds later. He expressed relief that the Potions Master was back to his senses. "You'll still be here to brew the stuff we need for the Hospital Wing, Severus," he said with humor in his voice.

"How Slytherin of you, Albus," he replied as gruffly as his condition allowed him to be. He knew the Headmaster had been sorted into Gryffindor – all the same. A bit of sarcasm was always good.

"Come on, Severus, don't be insulting," the older man replied with a smile. "Oh, sorry, Lorena. I forgot you're a Slytherin too. Didn't mean it like this." He could barely stifle his laugh. "That means that our dear Potions Master is back for good this time."

And indeed he was.

* * *

Severus recovered quickly and managed to give his information to the Headmaster on the same day. To celebrate his, Albus Dumbledore had decided for a little party. He had asked Lorena if she could help him in this regard.

"What is it, Professor ?"

"A concert. We're not that numerous and truly, I think that would be a nice opportunity to get all together, the staff members and the remaining faculty. I'm sure they would be delighted to hear you." He waved his hand to quiet her protestations. "No, Lorena. I heard you and it's a pity to keep that talent of yours only for me or Severus. Or the house ghosts"

The argument that clinched it once for all was that it would please Severus a lot. Lorena gave in and she agreed. Albus was happy and he decided that it would take place in the Room of Requirement. He explained to her that this room had particular qualities : it could accommodate whatever suited a specific person's wishes.

Lorena was curious and he led her there with her instrument. She played and the sound was downright perfect.

"Headmaster, is that true then that this room can grant one's any wish ?"

Dumbledore watched her. "Yes. Absolutely."

The girl pondered his reply. "I'd like to have a piano then."

The Headmaster smiled at her. Then he took her hand in his and led her forward. He put her hand on a new piece of furniture. She screamed out of surprise. A piano was there. "This is the Room of Requirement, Lorena. Don't forget it."

He saw her chin shaking a bit. She sat in front of the keyboard and a sweet melody came out of the piano. "That's just wonderful," she said once she was done.

"I didn't know you could play the piano," Albus said.

"I've learned music first on a piano, then I moved on to the violin. But I kept on practicing at the same time." Her voice was trembling a bit.

"What about tomorrow evening then ? Do you think you could do it ?"

She thought for a while. "Yes. I will just play that piece, maybe another one."

"Good. You do what you can, it doesn't need to be too long. I trust you, Lorena. I'll announce it tonight at the dinner table." He paused. "Severus will be there too. He's fit enough to get out. Anyway, I could hardly confine him any further. He's like a lion in a cage. How appropriate for a Slytherin, don't you think ?" the Headmaster chuckled at his joke, another avatar of the constant friendly banter that must have been going on for ages between him and his Potions Master.

Lorena could not but smile too. She had also noticed that Severus was someone certainly courageous enough to qualify as a Gryffindor. However, her Slytherin pride would have never voiced this thought to her Head of House. That was probably the only reason ever in this world for him to dock points from his own House.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore did as he had planned. The concert was announced. Severus was again sitting in front of Lorena, on Dumbledore's right. Things were back to normal for him – temporarily though, he knew. But he had decided to enjoy the present time that was given to him.

That same evening, he accompanied Lorena to the Slytherin common room so that she could play. She rehearsed the pieces she would play. She ended with the _Adagio for Strings_.

Was it the stress and the torture he had endured these last days, he could not have told, but Severus felt it even deeper in his soul. He was glad that he was alone, nobody around, not even the ghosts, and that Lorena was blind. Nobody could see the emotions on his usually composed face.

He cried silently. He just let it go, hoping that Lorena would not sense it. He used Occlumency to its maximum. This was incredible to him. It had not happen in ages. Only the most powerful magic in the world could do that to him.

With his recovery, that was the second time this particular magic was operating on him. He had been rather doubtful as to the real magical power of music, as explained by Albus Dumbledore. But now he was ready to reconsider the explanation put forward by the old Headmaster.

* * *

Everybody remaining had welcomed the concert news with excitement. Hagrid, Professors McGonagall, Sprout, Flitwick and Trelawney (who had come back from a short stay at relatives'), Ms Pince, Mr Filch the caretaker with his cat Mrs Norris, all said they would come too. A bit of entertainment was never to be neglected. And of course, Severus agreed. He was happy to see her in a concert, even a private concert. For once a Slytherin student was in the highlight for something else than bad schemes or whatsoever that may come their way to satisfy their ego and/or ambition, he could not miss that.

During the afternoon, Albus had led Lorena to the Room of Requirement so that she could rehearse on the piano, while he was decorating the room, making it more welcoming with chairs and lights and small tables for tea and cakes. He had even given a name to the concert, presenting it as "the most powerful magic ever demonstrated at Hogwarts".

The dinner went on in a joyful atmosphere. Then, Lorena left the table with Severus so that she could get ready for the concert. She wanted to be beautiful and to honor her House. She felt high, really high. It would be her first concert in five years. Since she had entered Hogwarts actually. It would be good.

She decided to wear a green velvet dress – to honor her House – with a medieval cut, like the dresses she loved to wear. Fortunately, in the wizarding world, this was not unusual and she indulged in it any occasion possible. This time, the dress had a sweetheart shape which left a lovely part of her cleavage for everyone to be seen.

She arranged her hair so that a part of it could form a bun while another part would hang on her back. She used a spell she had learned in fourth year, as well as a make-up spell which was discreet but suited her well. The less make-up she could use, the better and she had to reckon that using magic while being blind was a real improvement to her condition.

Severus was waiting for her in the sitting-room, as he was the one to lead her to the Room of Requirement. He was dressed as usual, in his usual black garments. He had left the black school robe behind though. When Lorena went out of her bedroom, he was stunned. She was divinely beautiful. He hid carefully his emotions.

"Slytherin green ?"

She smiled. "Slytherin green. To honor our House. Always." She was proud to be a Slytherin, much than he would have thought first. He had always considered her as being the less Slytherin of all his House students.

He realized something was missing on her though. "You have no jewel on you."

"I thought my beauty needed no other decoration," she said with a self-derisive, humorous tone.

Severus pondered her reply – so Slytherin in humor. "Your beauty not indeed. But the rest of your attire yes."

Lorena scowled. "Is there something wrong with my attire ? Better tell it know, before I get laughed at by everybody present. It's hard to play in these conditions, you know."

Severus smirked. He went to a cabinet and opened a box, from which he retrieved something. "Nothing's wrong with your attire, Miss Nottingham. Let's consider this… a last-minute addition, the icing on the cake." Saying so, he went behind her, something in his hand.

"I'm sure you're going to like it," he whispered to her ear. The object touched her skin on her chest, on the naked part left by her dress.

"Oh !" Lorena exclaimed, while putting a hand on it, sensing the cold metal on her bare skin. It was a jewel, a necklace made up of a silver chain and pendant. The pendant, two inch high and one inch wide, was big enough for her to feel. Oval-shaped, with an 'S' form on it. Lorena's fingertips felt it was filled with small gems. Green gems on a silver pendant, with delicate carvings around the 'S'.

"Oh, Professor…" she gasped with genuine surprise.

"You don't like it ?"

"Are you kidding me ? It's so… lovely ! Well, I can't see but I trust your good taste. I'm sure it is. Mmm… 'S' like… Slytherin ?"

The Potions Master paused before replying. "Let's say 'S' like my initials. I was given it by my mother when I got my O.W.L.s exams, as a token of her pride for me. It used to belong to her. My father had given it to her on their wedding day. 'S' like Snape. A family heirloom. He used to say that the woman that wore this necklace was a Snape property."

Lorena blushed. Did he intend that she was _his_ property ? She had perceived that possessiveness was an important trait in his frame of mind. He did not let her time to reflect on that and turned her so that she could face him. He assessed her with his piercing gaze. "My mother thought it would keep me out of harm's way and bring me good luck if I wore it."

"And did it ?"

"I don't know," he replied his voice suddenly unsure. "I never wore it but I kept it here with me. As a memory of her, I guess." He paused. "Now, you're perfect."

Lorena felt she blushed. "Professor Snape ?"

"Yes ?"

"I'm sure it'll bring me luck for tonight." She put her hand on his chest and like she had done when he had left the castle a few days before, she rose on her tiptoes and whispered 'Thank you for taking care of me the way you do' to his ear. He could feel her breath on his cheek. He had to resist the impulse to take her between his arms and…

"Let's go, Miss Nottingham."

Lorena took her violin with her in its case, checked everything was there, her wand in her right sleeve as usual. Severus guided her but this time, it was a bit different. He took her wrist in his hand.

* * *

They arrived at the Room of Requirement. Albus was welcoming people and everybody was there already, including the four House ghosts. The Slytherin House ghost, the Bloody Baron, had severely warned Peeves that he'd better make himself forgotten and not set foot in the room – or else. He was the only one in the castle, with the Headmaster, to have enough authority on the poltergeist to keep him at bay.

Severus released Lorena's hand before entering the room and guided her there inside, his hand now on her elbow. Lorena had perceived the change in his attitude – she could gather that he did not want anybody to comment or even worse, to gossip about it.

All present found her beautiful. The staff members were admirative and at this point, everyone had forgotten that the artist was blind.

Lorena sat on a chair prepared for her and got her violin out. In order to free her movement when playing, she removed her wand she put in her violin case opened at her feet, besides Severus' handkerchief she always carried with her. Albus Dumbledore introduced the evening, explaining that music was the most powerful magic, and said that the artist would present the pieces herself – as they had agreed, considering that these were Muggle works.

Everyone was here : all the teachers still remaining, Ms Pince, Mr Filch and his cat Mrs Norris. Severus was sitting beside the Headmaster. Dumbledore had kept the best chair for his Potions Master so that he could watch her under the best angle.

Lorena tuned her instrument and introduced the first piece. "This is a contemporary piece created to remind us of former times, by an American composer. It's called '_Ashokan Farewell_'. Arranged for one violin as it is usually played with a guitar and a mandolin too." The tune was sweet and nostalgic. She made her instrument crying softly, her own face reflecting the feeling of deep loss, ancient times gone and time passing by, conveyed by the tune. The piece ended with a very sweet feeling which left the audience with a delightful impression.

She went on with a song she sang while playing the piano, '_Summertime_' from a Muggle opera, explaining this was a lullaby. Her voice took a deep alto tone, giving a moving rendition of the song. She was applauded heartily. Nobody, not even Severus, had ever heard her sing before.

She went on with a short yet energetic, fast-paced piece, a contradanza created by a young contemporary artist she had heard before. She had decided to play it standing up. She was enjoying herself immensely, a broad grin on her face. Even her pale gray eyes, usually empty, seemed to be sparkling. It felt so as everybody was tapping their foot on the floor as if they wanted to dance. Well, the tune was based on an old form of Muggle dance that used to be popular in Renaissance times. Everybody applauded joyfully once the piece was over.

Then she sat at the piano and began a sweet little piece from a French composer entitled '_Pavane_'. She explained that the piece had been arranged for piano only, while it was usually played with several instruments like the flute or the guitar.

Severus enjoyed the music but he was waiting for the '_Adagio for Strings'_ – surely his favorite piece, the one that had brought him back to the land of the living, the one that could make him cry too. He wondered how she would react, with the same dose of emotion as she used to display in the Slytherin common room. With the '_Pavane_', Lorena was slowly but surely weaving an intense emotional atmosphere in the room. Her performance was casting a spell on the audience little by little.

Everybody applauded again, moved by the music. "As Professor Dumbledore put it earlier, music is one of the most powerful magic ever. The piece I will play in a few seconds, is certainly proof of that. Now feel free to express your emotions, just let them go, as this is how the magic of music does operate. This is the '_Adagio for Strings_', by an American composer, arranged for one alto violin."

Lorena began her piece with a slow pace, sweet sounds pouring into the room. Rich, deep sounds filled the space, as the music progressed into powerful crescendos. She was closing her eyes from time to time and this slight sign indicated to Severus that little by little, emotion was taking her into its tight grip. After a few minutes, the crescendo was going higher and higher, lifting everyone on its wings. While the summit was thought to be reached, another crescendo kept on progressing to further heights. At this point, Lorena's eyes could not contain her tears and they rolled on her cheeks. Her lips parted a bit, as if she was about to burst into sobs, out of breath, her face expression reflecting some deep inner pain. But her fingers remained agile and steadfast on her instrument and bow.

Then silence burst out like a scream. For about four-five seconds, the alto violin remained silent, a musical silence in itself, comparable to a breath released after the tension building up during the crescendo. Lorena resumed the piece, with an expression of both pain and relief on her face, the final decrescendo gently conveying a feeling of peace to the tortured souls in need. The piece ended on the same rich, deep notes it had begun with, carrying the listening souls around to a slow return to earth, like ashes gliding in the air and falling gently on the ground.

She put her violin on her lap. She could hear slight sobbing sounds in the assistance but could not tell who was crying. There was silence only around – interrupted only by the noise of Hagrid in his handkerchief, which she had recognized to have heard it before. Mrs Norris had leaped from Filch's lap to sit in front of Lorena, listening to her intently. The magic of music had worked once more on all present. She let down her left hand towards her case. A handkerchief jumped into her hand. Severus was looking at her with intensity. It was the very same handkerchief he had given her last year, when she had become blind. He was still amazed that she kept it. She dabbed her cheeks with it, trying to keep her composure. True, she was the first person to fall victim of that powerful magic.

It took a good minute for her to be able to pick herself up and go to the piano for what she announced as her last piece. A modern work, part of a Muggle movie soundtrack, a love them she had discovered years ago and had learned to play by listening to it. "I'd like to say that this piece conveys, to me, the other most powerful magic in the world, beside music." She did not say more, letting everyone wonder about what that 'other most powerful magic' could be.

She played with a soulful feel. Once again, a tear fell from her eyes but her expression was not of pain this time. Severus was watching her carefully, as he had never heard her play that piece before. Her touch on the keyboard was both sensual and light, like a feather on skin. She was smiling shyly, as if touched herself by a lover's fingers. Her pale gray eyes took a glazy shade as if she had been captured by a lover's kiss and touch. The Potions Master could not help think that he would hope that one day… one day he could give her eyes such an expression – before dismissing the idea quickly.

Lorena could have sworn that she heard a deep sigh from the audience once she was over with the tune. As this was the last number, the people present clapped their hands with genuine appreciation. They even asked for a recall. Albus was nearby her and asked her. She settled on '_Ashokan Farewell_' with the violin. The ladies asked for the love theme Lorena had played last on the piano. She agreed too and played again the two pieces. The audience burst into applause again.

Then Albus Dumbledore, thoroughly shaken by the performance, suggested everyone could have some tea and cakes. With his wand, he summoned both food and drinks and the evening ended in a charming atmosphere. Argus Filch – a Squib – just asked a question that silenced all present.

"Tell me, Professor Dumbledore, Miss Nottingham mentioned one of the most powerful magic. One is music, but what about the other ?"

The old Headmaster smiled and turned himself to Lorena sitting between him and Severus. "So, can you reply to our caretaker, Lorena ? I think we already talked about that recently."

She turned her head towards him, just wishing he had omitted his last sentence. "I was alluding to… to love. But I'm just repeating Professor Dumbledore's explanation, you know. So I think he's much more qualified than me to expand on this topic."

Severus concealed a smirk. _A real Slytherin reply indeed,_ he thought. _Now our good old Albus will have to deal with it. _He was enjoying the situation immensely and he was pretty sure that Lorena was enjoying it too – both in their Slytherin way.

The Headmaster shot both a stern and gleaming glance at the young woman but he knew that would be lost on her as she was blind. Therefore, he began his explanation on the subject to whom wanted to listen.

The explanation was short but convincing enough as nobody else dared ask for more. Lorena heard Hagrid mutter 'Great man, Dumbledore, great man…" under his breath in sincere appreciation.

Then the staff left the Room of Requirement after long minutes spent congratulating Lorena for her performance. She packed up her violin. Severus took her by the elbow to lead her back to their quarters. But as soon they were out of sight, he slid his hand from her elbow to her wrist, in a firm yet soft grip, as if he was afraid she might set off.

* * *

_**The different pieces of music Lorena played that evening are :**_

_**- **_**Ashokan Farewell**_**, by Jay Ungar - it had been used in the documentary entitled **_**'The Civil War' **_**by Ken Burns - the music can be found on YouTube, a real marvel.**_  
_**- **_**Summertime**_**, of Gerschwin fame, from his **_**Porgy and Bess **_**opera. Personnally, I love the version sung by Mahalia Jackson - very tender and soulful.**_  
_**- the **_**C****ontradanza **_**is a piece played on violin by Vanessa Mae, a very joyful and vivid piece, can also be found on YouTube.**_  
_**- The **_**Pavane**_**by Fauré, one of my favorite composers - a lovely piece too.**_  
_**- The famous **_**Adagio for Strings**_**by Samuel Barber, American composer - one of my favorite pieces of music by far - already talked about in a previous chapter.**_  
_**- The last piece Lorena played on the piano, is the **_**Glasgow Love Theme**_**, excerpted from the movie soundtrack **_**"Love Actually"**_** - in which Alan Rickman played. So romantic !**_

_**Besides, I had spotted that lovely pendant which appears on the cover of some editions of the **_**Deathly Hallows**_**- I had found it so lovely that I had used it for the Snape medallion described here as "the last addition". That was before I realized that this medallion on the cover of some books was in fact the Slytherin locket used as a Horcrux by Voldemort. Oh well. This is AU anyway. But the pendant is still so beautiful and fitting well in my story.**_

_**Please rate & review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	14. Useful spells and useless body

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**1****4 – Useful spells and useless body**

On the day after, Severus brought Lorena back to the Dark Arts classroom, without a word, his hand holding her again by her wrist in a firm grip. Once there, he cast a locking charm and a silencing spell on the door and room so that they could practice together without being disturbed.

She was dressed in a black dress, with her school robe above. She gathered his purpose and got her wand out, ready for practice. He made her work all the spells she may know, forbidding her to use her psychokinetic abilities. She complied, with him blocking her spells. He just wanted to check the extent of her knowledge. Lorena made an effort to comply but this required extra concentration as her particular abilities were a second nature to her.

After about fifteen minutes spent as such, they had a break. It was not easy for Lorena as she heavily relied on her psychokinetic abilities, compensating her blindness that way. She flopped in one of the chairs in the classroom. A few pearls of sweat glittered on her forefront, witnessing of the concentration she had put in the drill.

"We haven't finished, Miss Nottingham. I want to teach something very useful in some instances. Get up !"

Lorena got to her feet. She did not want to show him she was a bit drained though. "Yes, sir," she said with a submissive tone meant to disarm any possible nasty remark from him.

"Have you already heard about Patronuses ?"

She remembered to have read something about it or heard the older students talk about it in the Slytherin common room. "Vaguely. I remember it has something to do with animals."

"Well, in sort of. The Patronus Charm is the spell that allows you to project an image similar to a ghost, that has various uses. Mainly two : to send messages or guide ; to defend yourself against Dementors. To cast the spell, you have to focus on the happiest memories you have in yourself. This is quite advanced magic but I think your magic should be powerful enough to produce a Patronus."

Lorena was puzzled. If the Patronus Charm was essentially something _visual_, that would be difficult for her to see the outcome… _Has he realized that ?_

"Alright," she said. "I'm ready."

Severus had realized that indeed. "I know you're blind. But that should not prevent you from doing it. The incantation is '_Expecto Patronum_'. There's no specific wand waving movement. Only the focus is important. Focus your magic on your happiest memories."

Her happiest memories… Yes, she had some. Lorena remembered when she had played in trio with her parents. It had been great. Mother on harp, father on celesta, herself on violin. She could still hear the piece they had played, something very sweet. "Yes, I have some in stock," she said with a smile.

She drew her wand out and cast the spell, thinking of the lovely memory she had thought of. However, due to the nature of the spell itself, nothing happened. Not a sound. "What happened ?"

"Some silvery smoke got out of your wand. That's a beginning. But the purpose is to manage to form what is called a corporeal Patronus. The silvery smoke is to have the shape of an animal, an animal that means a lot to you or is a reflect of your personality. Have you ever had a familiar in the past ?"

Lorena said nothing. She did not consider spiders, ants and snakes as familiars, even if she could communicate with them somehow. "No, sir."

"Try again. Maybe the memory you used was not happy enough."

She was troubled by his remark. Not completely false however. She had conjured up a happy memory but now, thinking of it, it had left a sad taste in her mind. That memory belonged to a time of happiness that would never come back. "Can we combine several memories, sir ?"

"Yes, you may do that. It can be a general feeling too, not a particular memory. Go on."

"Just one question, Professor. Please."

Severus wanted to sigh but refrained from doing so. The girl had a very acute hearing. "Yes, Miss Nottingham ?"

"What is _your_ Patronus ?"

He was taken aback by her question – though it was not entirely unexpected. "A doe," he just replied. "Now, your turn."

Lorena felt he would not let her go further in his explanation. She focused on the general feeling of elation she had when playing music, when she was in nature, when… when she remembered the male body that had crushed hers on that dreadful morning, when she had become blind. His male scent, his silky voice, his soft fingers dabbing her tears, his comforting arms around her. She had felt safe. Was safety a happy feeling ? She was about to discover it. "_Expecto Patronum_ !"

This time, it was better. The silvery smoke that came out of her wand took a corporeal form. A big cat leaped in the distance. Not a big cat. A tiger.

"Good, Miss Nottingham, good."

"Really ? How… how does it look like ?"

"A tiger."

Lorena decided that she would use the combination of nature, music and the memory of the man now standing by her side, to conjure up a Patronus, if needed. It seemed to work.

"I suggest you keep working on this one, to make sure you will produce it any time you may need it. Remember, it's the only way to fight off Dementors, by sending the Patronus towards them. Not that you may meet them everyday, but one never knows."

"Professor… how can I know I've managed to produce one ? I can't see it, I can't hear it, I can't touch it."

Severus understood her concern. "A much more advanced form of magic can endow a Patronus with your own voice. Yet, for the time being, you may feel it. Just keep focused on it, then drag it with your wand towards you. Your extra sensorial perception should feel it. Sit down and try."

Lorena did as told. She sat and conjured up another Patronus that went to nudge her legs. She felt something smoky or hazy nearby, against her knees. "Shame it can't purr or roar. That would have been practical."

She felt the Potions Master sitting on the chair beside her. She felt drained but still wanted to ask him something else. "Professor… May I ask you a question ?"

"Seems like I can't prevent you from doing so," he said with sarcasm.

Lorena decided to ignore his sarcastic reply. "Will you… will you teach me the _Sectumsempra_ ?" She wanted to ask him that for quite some time but had not found the proper occasion to do so. Now was the time. They were alone. Nobody to eavesdrop on a matter they both wanted to keep secret.

Severus looked at her. She had not forgotten. "Are you sure you want to know it ? Are you aware this is… Dark Arts stuff ?"

"Yes, sir, I am. I want to." Her voice was determined. "It may be as useful a spell as a Patronus after all."

Severus' dark eyes glittered. She was not wrong. "Alright then. I'll teach you first on a dummy. There's a counter-curse I'll teach you too. Once you have them correct, we'll try them _live_."

He had said the last word with a detached yet dangerous tone in his voice. But Lorena did not flinch. She just stood up, ready.

Severus conjured up a dummy that would ring each time it was correctly hit. "As you cannot see me performing it, I will show you the movements differently."

He stayed beside her. "Raise your wand in front of you." She obeyed and his hand grabbed her forearm and wrist. "Like this." He positioned her arm accordingly. She felt his body against her back now, his breath on her neck and hair. Warm, he was warm, in complete contrast with the cold demeaneor he showed usually. But was this his real nature ? "Do not use your psychokinetic abilities. They shall not interfere." He still had his deep, silky, dangerous tone. Purring. Sensual. Lorena trusted him. She was not afraid of him. Contrary to most other students at Hogwarts, she had never been afraid of him, even when he gave in to his fits of wrath and violence in the Slytherin common room.

His face was just beside hers. She could feel his breath on her cheek. "Just say '_Sectumsempra_'. The most detached as possible. That's the way you may convey your power to the wand."

"I want to hear you once, please, Professor, so that I can memorize it."

Severus obliged. He took his wand out and still holding her, he cast the spell. "_SECTUMSEMPRA_ !" His deep voice sounded clear and powerful in the room. His wand crackled with a powerful light and a flow of energy hit the dummy that rang.

"You heard. Now your turn. Stay focused."

"Yes. Err… Let go of me, please, Professor."

He released her but stayed close behind her, watching her arm. She focused on herself, imagined the dummy. She had heard the previous ring and her acute hearing indicated the direction where it was located. She used her extra sensorial perception to assess the distance between her and the dummy.

She moved her wand arm in front of her, with a gesture full of determination, her pale gray gaze focused right in front of her. "_Sectumsempra_ !" she yelled. A powerful bolt of energy went out of her wand and hit the dummy. That rang.

Severus was impressed. He was not sure that most of the students could achieve such a result the very first time, even with their full eyesight.

Silence fell between them. Lorena knew she had done fine – otherwise she would have heard his sarcasms, as he usually proceeded as such in his classroom.

Without a warning, she cast the same spell again on the dummy, just to make sure that this was not a lucky random hit. "_Sectumsempra_ !" Her voice rose under the ceiling again, clear and determined. Again the energy flow from her wand hit the dummy that rang under the spell. She did it five or six times again, just to make sure. Each time was a hit.

Severus had to stop her eventually. He took her hand in his and led her to the dummy. "Kneel down and check your work, Miss Nottingham."

The dummy was no longer what it used to be. It was just a pile of wood, cloth and metal mingled together. "I did that ?" Lorena asked with a bit of anxiety in her voice. "Oh Merlin…"

"It does that. I let you imagine what the outcome is on a human being." He paused while she got to her feet. "Now you'll learn how to repair the damages when done to a being of blood and flesh." He directed his wand to the dummy. "_Reparo_ !" and the dummy reconstituted itself.

"I understand why it should not be disclosed," Lorena whispered. "It rightfully belongs to the same class as the Three Unforgivables."

"I've told you this is Dark Arts stuff. And that's why you have to remain silent about this spell and use it only in case you'd find yourself in extreme danger. You'll resort to it only if your very life or that of someone else with you, is threatened. Did I make myself clear ?"

"Yes, Professor."

"It's for enemies ONLY. I trust your judgment to determine them among all the people you may know or meet."

"Yes, Professor."

"Right. Now for the counter-curse. _Vulnera Sanantur_, to be repeated three times in a row." He repeated her the words to be recited in a soft, deep voice that moved Lorena a lot. It was an incantation that sounded like a song, which made her think that he should sing. "Memorize it, you may need it to save your target's life – in case you got the wrong target."

Lorena repeated the incantation several times to memorize it. Then Severus did something amazing. He unbuttoned his right frock coat sleeve and rolled the white shirt sleeve under, leaving his forearm bare. He put Lorena's hand on it. "Now use it on me !"

"Oh, Professor !"

"Do it !"

Lorena swallowed. "I can't, sir. Please." She still had her hand on his forearm. The skin was soft.

"Quit being sentimental, Miss Nottingham. That is for practice's sake, Merlin ! Now do it !"

"I don't want to hurt you," she whispered. "I'll hurt you never." He would not have heard her, had he been not so close to her.

Severus wanted to mock her again but he gathered from her tone that she was deeply sincere. Her fingers were now gently stroking his forearm. He closed his eyes, wondering what her fingers could do on the rest of his body – after having raised his mental shields, so that she could not perceive his thoughts.

"I know what I'm doing. You may do it. Just a little cut. I won't die, you know. Everything's in the intention. Now do it." He had spoken very softly.

She sighed and put her wand a few inches above his arm. "_Sectumsempra_," she said quietly, as if she wished to give as little power to the incantation as possible. She did not wish to hurt him more than necessary. He winced, a cut comparable to a sword gash had appeared on his arm. She felt him doing so and she put her hand on his wound. Blood flowed under her fingers. _Oh Merlin, what have I done ?_

"Now recite the incantation, like I showed you," he said while removing her hand. _Vulnera Sanantur_. She did as told and this time, she was much more convincing, so that the words could really heal him. _Vulnera Sanantur._ The wound disappeared miraculously after the third time she had said it. _Vulnera Sanantur_. "Now touch my arm."

Lorena did as told and she felt that his skin was again new, as if she had never scarred him. "Oh !" she let go, deeply relieved.

"You see, there was no real fuss to be made," Severus commented sarcastically.

Lorena turned her face to him. "You may say what you wish, Professor, but you said this should be kept for my enemies only. You're not my enemy." She took a deep breath. "I could never hurt you."

Something stirred in Severus' soul – or what was left of it, according to him. Something powerful. Something he had not felt in ages. But he discarded the feeling quickly. The girl was just being good to him and yet, he wondered why.

"There's no need to continue the experience. Let's say it doesn't look as if you had managed to heal that cut out of luck."

He had just paid her a compliment. But Lorena just heard the last word. "Oh, talking about luck…" She Scourgified her hand from his blood and retrieved the medallion she had been wearing since the previous evening, from between her breasts. "I forgot to give you this back yesterday, Professor."

She was about to open the chain to remove it when Severus put his hand on her arm. "No, that's alright. Keep it on you for the time being."

Lorena was puzzled. "But it's yours, a gift from your mother ! That was kind enough from you to lend it to me yesterday."

"I know. I never said the contrary. But for the time being, just keep it."

The way he had said so, both compelling and soft, was not to be challenged. Lorena did not insist and put the medallion back under her garments, concealed between her breasts.

Severus got to his feet and helped her standing up. "It's over for the time being. Let's go back to my quarters, lunch time is soon."

Lorena said nothing, still amazed that he had let her wear the necklace. She had never worn a jewel so beautiful, so precious, so valuable. She thought about his words, the medallion being a sign of possession. Did he want to assert any feeling of his possession of hers when letting her wearing it, at least in his own sight ? They were not even lovers. She was puzzled but ask no more about it. They both retrieved their robes and went out.

* * *

After lunch, Severus went to see the Headmaster for a particular request he had in mind since he had come back from the meeting with the Dark Lord and the Death-Eaters.

Albus Dumbledore wanted to have an update too on Lorena's progress. The news were positive in this regard. "So what do you want, Severus ?"

"I'd like to spend one or two weeks in my home. Maybe more."

"Spinner's End ?"

"Yes. I'm fine here, but I need to change air and be at home."

"I thought that Hogwarts was your home."

"It is, Headmaster, it is, but there's another purpose too."

"Oh, and that is ?"

Severus sighed discreetly. "I think that I'll be more at ease to teach Occlumency to Miss Nottingham if I were there, with her. Alone."

Dumbledore watched the younger wizard carefully. Severus Snape was his Potions Master, a Dark Arts expert, his spy against Voldemort. He was aware that he was the younger man's only friend too. "Do you think you may assure her safety there too, Severus ? Hogwarts's the safest place around for her, given the circumstances."

"Yes, Headmaster. As long as I'm with her, there'll be no problem." His dark gaze locked with the old man's steely blue eyes. "Albus, please." There was almost a plea in his voice.

"I realize that I ask so much of you, my friend. Your last meeting with Voldemort had not been a very pleasant one for you, considering the condition you came back in. You need to get away indeed." He paused, pondering over his decision. "I can see that you kept in mind the goals set for you with her. Occlumency." Another pause. "If you can vouch for her safety there, that's fine by me. You may go with her if you wish. I trust your good judgment and abilities to take care of her security. I know you can deal with any kind of situations. Merlin ! I'd entrust my own life into your capable hands, Severus ! I just request that anything unusual be communicated to me at once." He retrieved an object from one of his drawers in his desk. A mirror. "I have the same here. You just look at the mirror, you call me and we can talk. Faster than owls. Safer than the Floo. Less painful than a Dark Mark."

Severus did not leap out of satisfaction for being granted his wish. He just let go a small smile – which was the equivalent of a demonstration of great joy for him. "Thank you, Albus. I'll do as you wish." He took the mirror which he put into his pocket without even a look at the strange magical artefact.

"When do you want to leave ?"

"The sooner the better. Later this afternoon."

The old man raised an eyebrow in surprise but he said nothing. The Potions Master was already by the door to leave the office. "Severus ?"

"Yes, Headmaster ?"

Dumbledore peered at him. "Do not forget Voldemort's plans for Miss Nottingham either. Better for her to be made… let's say… _useless_ for him, thanks to someone from the Light side, if you see what I mean. She's no longer a child."

Severus glanced at the Headmaster, a quick surprise showing on his features. Albus nodded at him, as if he was giving his agreement for... The younger wizard wondered if he had understood well. But the gleam in Dumbledore's eyes was not to be mistaken. The old man was a very good Legilimens indeed.

"We're talking about one of my students, Albus !"

The old man peered at the Potions Master. His steely blue eyes were suddenly serious. "We're talking about a young virgin woman aged 17, whose very life, body and soul would be utterly shattered, ruined and destroyed if we let Voldemort have his way with her, Severus. You know it and I know it too."

Both men exchanged a look that said it all. _Make her yours_, the Headmaster told him with his steely blue eyes.

"I'll keep that in mind, Headmaster," he said before leaving, his black robes billowing behind him in a graceful move.

* * *

Severus thought about Albus Dumbledore's last words. The old man had alluded to the girl being made _useless_ for the Dark Lord. He knew the plans Voldemort had in stock for her. He sighed, weighing the pros and cons. She was his student, with two extra years to be at Hogwarts. She was blind, helpless in front of the Dark Lord and the other Death-Eaters. He had the impression he would take advantage of her in an unfair fashion.

At the same time, Dumbledore was right. Better for her to be treated fair by someone from the Light side, as the Headmaster had put it – rather than by Voldemort. Severus knew that if the girl was taken by the Dark Lord, her fate would be horrendous afterwards. Once he would have taken her virginity to gain her powers, he would just let the rest of the other Death-Eaters have their share of her. Sure she was of age. She would even turn 18 next early September. Albus Dumbledore was right : she was no longer a child. She was an adult by wizarding standards. Last but not least, she looked older too, more in her early twenties then in her late teenage years.

Albus Dumbledore had clearly alluded to him as the man to make her _useless_ for the Dark Lord. Thing was, Severus was wondering if he was the right man for her, the right man to take her. Besides, he had not had a woman in a long time. He knew he could be rough, even brutal, during sex. In any case, he was a demanding lover. He did not trust himself to be careful and gentle as a lover for a young girl's first time.

He stopped once at the top of the Astronomy Tower, one of his favorite places in the castle. He closed his eyes, imagining her fate. He could not let that happen. No. At the same time, if he made her his, he would have to hide this fact from the Dark Lord deeper than everything else… Well, so many things can happen in a high school, to a lovely young girl aged 17-18, with all the young males around… Hogwarts was a co-ed, not a convent. And it could have happened while she was in that institution for the blind too. Hormones did not care about being disabled or not after all.

Severus leaned against the balcony, taking in the view. He could not deny that he was attracted to her. But he was almost twice her age. Her professor and Head of House. _She may not agree. Well, at least she doesn't hate me._ There were clues however that indicated him that on the contrary, she seemed to enjoy his company. _Enjoying someone's company's one thing. Having sex with them is entirely something else._ He sighed. He would not mind female company and even more. He had to admit he even needed some. At 32, he was still young, even if this life as a spy had already printed its mark on him, as surely as the Dark Mark was printed on his left forearm. He had the needs and wants of a man of his age. But he could not satisfy them with a student. And even less the way he did when he got a woman he paid for this service. Which he had not done in a long time.

_A student in danger._ Severus thought that in the girl's best interests, he'd better be her first lover indeed. He was aware that she may enjoy his company but not wish to go all the way with him. He knew he was not an Apollon either. _Well, she's blind, she can't see me. She won't ask question about the Dark Mark on my arm either. _All the same. He will have to seduce her to make her his. _And once I've deflowered her, what's going to happen between us ? That means I will have to tell her the whole story about the Dark Lord's plans for her. _He sighed again. _Oh why is it on my soul this kind of things has to befall ? My soul, Dumbledore ? What about my soul ?_

He closed his eyes in front of the realization of the consequences. _Yes, one day or so, someone will have to tell her the truth. That could be a good introduction. Maybe she'll just agree to me shagging her senseless after hearing the story. Maybe she won't believe me and… _He wondered if going to Spinner's End with her was a good idea after all. But a sense of decency in him whispered into his mind that she had a right to know the truth indeed.

_Y__es, one day or so, someone will have to show her what a man is._

The bell rang two o'clock. Severus left the balcony to go back to his quarters. They had to get ready.

* * *

**_The _Sectumsempra _spell is directly inspired by the _Half-Blood Prince _book/movie. I also remember the DA session when Harry taught his schoolmates how to cast a Patronus Charm - it had been great watching all this and I thought it could fuel my imagination a little._**

**_Please rate & review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	15. Elemental magic

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**15 – Elemental magic**

Lorena was not in their quarters. Her violin case was not either. Severus deducted that she was playing in the Slytherin common room. She was not there either. He went to the other place where she may have gone to play, the Room of Requirement.

She was there indeed, sitting at the piano. She was playing the love theme she had played during the concert. The melody was sweet and Severus listened to it in silence, thinking about the words Albus had told him about the girl.

The girl. No, the young woman, that used a kind of magic not taught at Hogwarts but that she seemed to master. Severus felt he was giving in to this magic. He was not sentimental but he had to reckon that the tune had something powerful. Though he suspected that the same tune played by someone else than Lorena may not have the same effect on him. Maybe it was just _her_.

When she was over, he made a bit of noise to make know that somebody was around. He knew she would notice his presence without startling her.

"Is that you, Professor Snape ?" she asked, her face turned towards the sound.

"Yes, that's me." He put a gentle hand on her shoulder. "You seem to like that piece, don't you ?"

She smiled at him. "Yes, I do. I'm surely way too much sentimental but I imagine what love could be when I listen or play that piece. Oh, nevermind !" she ended up with a chuckle. "Did you wish to see me, Professor ?"

"Yes. I've just had a conversation with the Headmaster. He agreed to me leaving Hogwarts for some days. He said that I needed some time off." He paused to see her reaction. Her grin had faded.

"How long will you be away ?" she asked only.

"Two or three weeks, maybe more. I don't know yet."

"Oh." She sounded disappointed but did not let it show any further. "In that case, I wish you nice holidays, Professor. I promise I'll be a good student and work on my spells every day." She was clearly trying to hide her disappointment by showing a cheerful face. But Severus, thanks to Legilimency, knew this was not the case. He took it as a good omen.

"Miss Nottingham, I've been charged by the Headmaster to take care of your security and check if you can follow our teachings. Therefore, I take you with me."

Her face reflected utter puzzlement. "You mean…"

"Yes. I take you with me to my home, where I spend my holidays. Your safety has to be ensured. Besides, you need extra training."

She lowered her face. "Well, I don't know what to say…"

"I'm afraid you won't have any say in this, Miss Nottingham. You may take your violin with you. Now come, we're leaving in two hours."

That was said. Lorena would have liked to be asked first but if the Headmaster and her Head of House had already decided for her… She knew that any resistance against them both was useless. She closed the keyboard and leaned down to pick up her violin case on the ground. _I'll miss the piano for sure._

Severus and Lorena came back to their quarters in silence. She felt that she'd better not ask him anything regarding these holidays. He was just the same though, guiding her gently in the corridors. Once in their quarters, he led her to her bedroom.

"You have two hours to pack up. Take what you need into your trunk and use the reducing spell, so that I can put it in my pocket for the trip. We'll Apparate from outside Hogwarts to get there." His tone was not cold, just all business.

Lorena wondered what had gotten into his mind. He seemed preoccupied and not specifically in a cheerful mood for someone about to go on holidays. She sighed and decided to let it go. He would be in a better mood in two hours. Maybe. The Potions Master was well known for his somewhat collected yet short temper and though not prone to mood swings, it paid to be elsewhere when he was downright unsociable. Even Slytherins knew that – probably more than any other House students.

Lorena focused on her things to pack up. She put some garments, shoes, robes, undergarments, her own books, and of course, her trusty violin in its case into the trunk. She wondered if she could take some other books there with her. The books belonged to the Hogwarts library, she would ask him first before packing them with the rest of her stuff. She checked that she had her black cloak out for her to put on. Her wand was in her right sleeve. She was ready.

She went out of the room. She could hear he was in his bedroom, surely packing, the door was left ajar. She gently knocked at his door. Severus opened. "What do you want, Miss Nottingham ?"

"I was just wondering if I could take these two books I'm currently reading. I borrowed them from the library here."

Severus glanced at the books. They were stamped with the Hogwarts Library crest indeed. "No, better leave them here. You'll find them when we're back before term resumes. Besides, you'll have plenty of books to read where we go."

"Thank you, Professor," Lorena said with a neutral tone. In a Slytherin fashion, she had just learned three things : 1) he did not seem to be in a bad mood any longer ; 2) they would come back before term ; 3) she will have things to read and that only was the greatest news of all. She smiled once back in her room to put the books back on her bed table.

She closed her trunk and cast a reducing spell on it. Now the trunk was holding in her hand. With a satisfied grin, she put her wand back into her sleeve, took her cloak and went out, closing the door behind her.

Severus was already in the living-room. His own trunk was on the table, about the same size as Lorena's. She put hers in his hand, with a look on her face showing that she could do it and in time.

"Are you ready, Miss Nottingham ?"

"Yes. I only need to put on my cloak and we may go."

"Good." He looked at her. She wore a lovely green dress. The Snape medallion was hanging around her neck. Severus could not but think she was indeed beautiful. He put on his own cloak and slid the two reduced trunks inside his frock coat pocket. She was ready with her cloak and he took her elbow gently to guide her. Once out of their quarters, he cast a complex series of wards on the door. He had already done the same with his office, his supplies store and his lab. "The Headmaster is to meet us outside the school grounds, before we Apparate."

Lorena said nothing, she just nodded, submitting herself to his orders. She could perceive through their physical contact, that the austere Potions Master was feeling somewhat better. She was aware too that he was a good Occlumens and therefore she could not guess the reason why he was in such a good mood. _We'll see._

They both arrived at the castle gates. Albus Dumbledore was there already, waiting for them. "Ah, great, you're both here. I wanted to wish you good holidays. Severus, you need some, this has been a tiring year. As for you, Miss Nottingham, I hope to see you back to Hogwarts in September. You have a few things to learn and perfect and Professor Snape will help you in this regard."

Lorena smiled at him. The Headmaster's gentle yet firm voice had something paternal and comforting. "Rest assured, Professor, that I will. I'm so happy to be back here, that I won't waste the chance you give me."

Then Albus' eyes locked with Severus'. Both men being Legilimens, they did not need to talk to understand each other. _Do I really need to do this… to her ?_ The old man nodded. _Yes. I think you're the best person for her. Remember you don't do this_ to _her, but_ for _her._

"Take care, Severus," Dumbledore told him before pressing him in an unexpected hug. A paternal and friendly hug. "Things will be easier than you think, Severus. I can see it," he said to him while being close to the younger wizard, so that the young woman could not hear them. He winked at him, his blue eyes twinkling more than ever.

The Potions Master shot a puzzled look at the Headmaster and said nothing. He hoped the old man was right. But he knew that Albus Dumbledore was always right. Beside being one of the greatest wizards of the time, the Hogwarts Headmaster had a rare talent for match-making…

"Miss Nottingham, I entrust Professor Snape to your good care," he said jokingly while pressing her arm. Lorena grinned broadly.

"I'll be careful, Professor, I know you need your Potions Master," she replied with a similar joking tone that made Severus wonder if she had not intercepted their Legilimens conversation a few seconds ago.

"Come now, Miss Nottingham, so that we can Apparate," Severus said while taking her by the elbow.

They stopped after a few steps away. Then suddenly, Severus took her between his arms, in a tight embrace. Lorena was surprised and the first thing that came to her mind was the memory of his arms around her when she had shared his bed, on the night he had come back. Severus had read her thought and he smiled at her, though he knew she could not see him. Yes, maybe things will be easier that way after all.

"What's happening ? Why…"

"I don't want to lose you during our trip," he offered as an explanation. "Hang on to me. We Apparate."

Lorena remained silent. She did not know how to Apparate but she had already heard about splinching accidents. These arms of his, now around her, had something comforting. She said nothing and just rested her head on his chest while her arms rounded his waist, her hands grasping his back instinctively. They disappeared in a second…

* * *

… to find themselves in a dark alley. A dark dead end alley.

After a few seconds, Lorena realized that they have arrived to their destination. She raised her head, her ears have caught sounds, her nostrils have perceived smells, all different from Hogwarts. The sounds of an urban landscape with mills in the distance. The smells of a destitute area, with junkyards nearby. The place did not look pleasant but somewhere, it reminded her of her own Muggle childhood, between her grandmother's house in a working class district, her father in jail, and the primary school she had attended before Hogwarts. Sounds and smells of childhood.

"Where… where are we ?"

"Spinner's End." Severus' voice had something reassuring too. His arms were still wrapped around her as if he had been afraid of losing her. "My home place."

"What's the weather like ?" The question may sound stupid but Severus gathered that it was meaningful for a blind person.

"Dull and gray. At least, it's not raining."

Lorena moved herself from him, suddenly embarrassed by their proximity. But at this moment, Severus took her face with his both hands, in a powerful grip. For a second or two, the young woman felt panic overwhelm her. He had never touched her like this, with a dangerous mix of threat and violence she felt in the pressure exerted by his hands on her. Well, this was what she perceived from him at this very moment through their physical contact. Of course, she had already seen him as such, in his classroom or in the Slytherin common room or dorms, when he was angry after students. She knew he was capable of brutality, though he had never resorted to physical violence against difficult students. His brutality was rather of a verbal and psychological nature. She perceived he could be able to kill with his own hands. Even if she had never been a victim of his ruthless and sometimes cruel behavior, she had been a witness thereof.

Lorena was afraid of him now. She swallowed, trying to hide her fear as best as she could, hoping he would not perceive it. _You may be afraid but you must not show it._ That was what her father used to tell her between two stints in jail. He was right. She closed her mind as much as possible, in case he would use his Legilimency on her.

"Miss Nottingham, let me tell you something. You better pay attention." His deep voice had something threatening now, which did no longer reassure Lorena at all. "Now, we're going to live in a Muggle neighborhood. That means, no use of magic outside my house, alright ? You may use magic inside, provided there is no Muggle in either, but in no way outside." He paused. "Besides… a student living in her professor's house, with him, would raise too many questions from the Muggles here. I will call you by your given name and you shall call me by my given name. For everybody outside here, you are my lady friend. I don't want any interference from the Muggle world into my house. If someone Muggle happen to ask you any question as to who you are for me, you're my mistress, or who I am for you, I'm your lover. Did I make myself clear ?"

She gasped when he mentioned the words 'lady friend', 'mistress' and 'lover'. This was a turn she had not expected from the usually collected Potions Master. She remained silent. The pressure on her face from his hands intensified. "You're hurting me… Professor… please…" She swallowed, remembering what he had just said about addressing each other : "Severus…" It sounded strange for her, he was so adamant as to how students should address him at Hogwarts. But they were no longer in Hogwarts. Her empty pale gray eyes were full of distress now. He realized this and released her a little, moved by her apparent anxiety.

"Did I make myself clear ?" he repeated still threateningly.

"Yes… Severus."

She was blind and good for him, as she could not see the gleam of lust now shining in his dark eyes when he looked at her lips slightly parted in a sensual expression. Now he really wanted to kiss her, as if to seal that new step in their relationship. But it was too early. _Oh Merlin, how much I'd like to taste her mouth now !_

"Good, Lorena. I've always known you were far less slow than your schoolmates, even your fellow Slytherins." The remark may have sounded like a scathing comment but Lorena knew better – he had just paid her a compliment. She relaxed between his arms. From a distance, they just looked like a loving couple, finding solitude in an empty space to hug and kiss each other.

Severus led her outside the dark alley, a possessive arm around her shoulders. Lorena could not help thinking that when they stepped out of that dark alley, she would be considered by the outside world as Professor Snape's mistress. Despite being in jail, her father had warned her about boys since she had been 11 – before entering Hogwarts actually. Lorena knew she'd better not lie to her father on his matter. George Lord Nottingham was said to have a very short temper. So she had remained on the safe side and had never meddled with boys. Now this situation… if her father knew about it… No, she preferred not to think about a confrontation between her father and her professor. Better keep shut about it, both men being prone to wrath and bouts of violence. Both men having an equal notion of what honor should be.

She wondered about what the look of other people on her would be. In the Muggle world, this would not be a real concern. In the wizarding world, that was a whole another matter. Relationships out of wedlock were frowned upon. _He said this is a Muggle neighborhood. I hope I won't have any problem._ At the same time, she knew intuitively that Severus would not allow this kind of issue to be raised against her person.

She would need time to adjust to this situation. Not that it would be unpleasant. But it would not be that easy with someone like Professor Severus Snape. She shut down her mind so that he could not perceive that thought.

They arrived in front of a gray house, similar to all the other houses around. This was a working class neighborhood obviously. There used to be many textile mills around. Many had closed since Severus' childhood, no thanks to the cheap imports. Now the place was destitute, some houses were boarded up, other were slowly decaying under neglect and abandon. Only the Snape family's house seemed to be in a relatively good shape, despite the dull and gray environment.

That was Spinner's End.

For a second or two, Severus was glad that the young woman besides him was blind. She would not see the ugliness around. That ugliness that reminded him how miserable his own childhood had been.

However, for reasons still unclear to him, Severus was still attached to this place. True, Hogwarts was his home. It had been since he was 11, when he had been admitted there, allowing him to escape the violence between his parents, his father's violence against him, his mother's neglect of him. It had continued to be when he had sought refuge with Albus Dumbledore, after leaving his Death-Eater ways. The old Headmaster had sheltered him, protected him, offered him a job and protection. More important than anything else, he had given him a second chance to redeem himself from his past errors. But during Summers, Severus was happy to go back to Spinner's End, once his parents were no more alive. The house was now his and he was about to share it with a young woman he hoped to make his eventually.

She was still standing at his side, a bit of anxiety still showing on her face. He lifted the various and numerous wards he had set on the house, opened the door and led her inside with a gentle push on her back. "You may remove your cloak now, Lorena," he said softly.

She heard the door closing behind them. She unfastened her cloak and he took it from her hands to hang it nearby his coat. "I show you the house so that you may not be lost," he whispered to her ear. Saying so, he took her hand in his, like he had done when she had come to live in his quarters. She felt he put her right hand on the wall, while he slid his left hand on her waist, following her close behind. The contact surprised her. Usually, he took her hands. She raised her mental shields. Maybe he had decided for a change in their way of interacting with her. It was not unpleasant though. His hand on her waist was light and gentle.

"On your right, there's a door, always closed, leading to the kitchen. I'll show you later." They went on. Soon her hand met another opening in the wall. "You may access the sitting-room there." He led her again further, her hand meeting the wall again. A door. "That's the access to the basement where I have a potion lab."

"Oh." She had a small smile.

A staircase. A door. "That leads to restrooms." Another door. "That's the back door, leading to the backyard. I have an owl shelter there. I don't have an owl but those I may receive can spend some time there."

They came back to the staircase. "Now we go upstairs." He released her hand and put her left hand on the handrail onto her left. He released her waist too. Lorena had always appreciated that in him : he was guiding her but as soon as he could feel she could be on her own, he would let her do so, still a step back but there, in case she would fall. She knew instinctively he would never let her down. "Severus ?" she called when she felt that the rail was bending. There was a hint of distress in her voice.

"I'm here, Lorena," he said softly, having perfectly perceived she needed him. He was just behind her. "Go on, that's okay. You're doing fine." _I'm always with you._

She went on upstairs. She arrived at the floor. There again, he took her right hand in his and put it on the wall on her right side. His own left hand on her waist, gentle. "This way, to your left, to the bedrooms."

They went on till a first door. "This is my room." Lorena touched the wood, registering the information. Her hand felt the wall. Another door. "This is your room." He put her hand on the handle. Lorena realized that his hand was warm, deliciously warm. She opened the door and stepped in. "I show you the layout." She let him do. He had released her hand so that she could touch her environment. He had his both hands on her waist now, standing behind her, to guide her. She got a pretty good idea of where her bed was, a chair, a small table, a cabinet. "I'll put your trunk here, under the window, alright ?" he said while make her 'feel' where the window-sill was.

"Yes. Thank you, Severus." She was troubled to feel his hands on her waist, with him so close behind her. In a bedroom. They shared their quarters at Hogwarts and it promised to be no different here. But the atmosphere was different in the castle. They were both bound by the school's rules. Here, in this house – his house – there were no such rules. Except the ones he issued. She was no longer his student, she would be considered as his… mistress. At least by the neighborhood. This was disquieting enough as she felt at his mercy here. Nobody would check on them and he was stronger than her. She felt defenseless, a helpless blind girl. At the same time, he had already had plenty of occasions to harm her if he had wanted to. He had never done so. She reasoned herself and tried to think about something else.

They went out of her bedroom and soon, her right hand felt another door, just before the stairs. "This door leads to the attic. But I don't want you to get there on your own. It's full of stuff and old things, a mess, and I don't want you to get hurt." She nodded, gathering she would not be allowed to get there. Her hand felt the guardrail over the stairs then the void into the stairwell. Then she felt the wall again and another door. "Restrooms." Yet another door. "The bathroom. We'll share it." They entered the room and he made her 'feel' the layout.

There was a mirror above the jug. Severus caught their reflection there. He was close behind her and for a few seconds, he looked at themselves in surprise. They were like a real couple. She was beautiful and though he deemed he was not handsome at all, there was something about them that looked like… a good match. He turned his gaze away from the mirror – and from the thought. He could see on her face how much she was concentrated, recording exactly where things where.

"Is the mirror enchanted ?" she asked.

"Yes. I just silenced it. I don't go for this kind of spells." Suddenly he understood. "But if that's useful for you, I can lift the restraining spell on this one just for you."

"You would ?"

"Yes." He retrieved his wand and cast a spell on the mirror. Which talked at once.

"Ah, how wonderful it is to talk again. Hello, Professor. My lady… What a lovely couple you are the both of you !" the enchanted mirror said first thing.

Lorena smiled. Severus was not amused but he just rolled his eyes before scowling at the mirror. Well, at least it echoed his feelings. Severus felt he must not have been far from the truth in his thoughts.

"You shall speak only in presence of Miss Lorena. You shall remain silent in my presence, as usual," he ordered the mirror, flicking his wand again. They left the bathroom.

Lorena was about to go downstairs but somehow, she missed the first step and was about to fall. Severus caught her by her waist as he still had his both hands on her waist. She was taken aback by two powerful arms. She felt his body against her back, his breath on her neck as he spoke to her. "Be careful !" She grabbed his arms and they stayed as such for long seconds. She felt he enjoyed holding her tight against him. She could not gather his motives but she had to admit in herself that she enjoyed the close contact with him too.

"Thank you, Severus," she simply said.

"Be careful," he repeated. "I don't want you to kill yourself in my own house. Imagine what I'd have to say to the Headmaster." He released her but still held her by the waist. She smiled at his joke but hid it.

She turned herself between his arms, her hands on his chest. "I'll do my best to avoid you that predicament with the Headmaster, Severus. I promise you to be more cautious. Shall we continue the visit ?"

He smiled at her funny reply, glad she could not see him doing so. "Sure." He released her waist, ready to any probable fall though.

They were downstairs now. They entered the sitting-room. "I'm sure you're going to like this room, Lorena." He had her hand in his and put it on the wall, his hand on her waist again. She could not refrain from exclaiming. The wall was covered by rows of books from the ceiling down to the floor and she had felt them.

"Yes. Books all over the wall here. And there," he said as her hand was touching another wall. She went on, for the length of the wall, till a small desk in front of a window. "I was sure you'd like it," he said while looking at her face. "Here's my desk."

Then she felt a bit of wall and the void. "That's the entrance to the kitchen." The wall resumed after. Shelves. Lorena almost stumbled on a stool, where documents were piled up. Once more, Severus caught her to avoid her falling. "Easy. I know you love books but all the same." He had his hands on her arms and he was holding her tight. His grip was firm. Lorena suddenly imagined what it could be to be hold against her will by him. She closed her eyes for a split second. Her heart beat faster at the thought. At the sensation.

"I'm okay, release me, please," she said with a hint of panic in her voice. Severus felt it and he reckoned he was holding her too forcefully tight.

"Sorry about the mess, but I sit nearby and sometimes I need to access quickly the books I'm reading. I just put them here at the ready." Lorena felt piles of books against her legs. Then there was a rather threadbare piece of furniture. "My armchair." Severus guided her hand to a mantelpiece. "The fireplace. Note that we are not linked to the Floo network." There was no fire lit now, as it was not so cold. "If you feel cold, I can start a fire."

"No, that's okay, thank you." Her hand slid along the mantelpiece, found another shelf of books, then the door frame.

"The door we used to enter the room is just there. Now, turn around, that way, there's a sofa in the middle of the room. You may sit there and enjoy reading here. Or play some music, if you wish."

Severus knew he had said the magic word. _Music_. "Where's your instrument ?"

"In my trunk."

"Alright. I take our luggage upstairs and with your permission, I'll get it back here. Just sit down here, I'll be back shortly."

Lorena nodded her consent. She felt the sofa behind her and she sat down. For a few minutes, she would be on her own. She was glad to think of all the books that the room contained. Knowing their owner's reputation and taste, there would be plenty of books about potions and spells. _His areas of expertise. Most likely Dark stuff too_, she thought. That promised to be an interesting stay.

She also mused about their physical contacts. And the proximity of their bedrooms. She blushed at the thought. But the feeling she had felt when his arms had caught her was still very vivid in her mind. No man had ever held so tight like that – except her father, when he was not behind bars of course, and that was when she was a child. She was no longer a child. _Yes, but that had been my father. Severus… is not my father. He's… a man._ The feeling was both delicious and disturbing. 'He's your teacher, not your lover !' a little voice talked in her mind. _Well, he said I should behave as if I were his… mistress while here._ That too was both delicious and disturbing. Lorena knew what it was to be his student. She wondered what it could be to be his mistress. The mistress of such a man, a man like Severus Snape, that she perceived to be full of passion and fire under that collected, cold, even icy demeanor…

In fact, she had no idea. No man had ever approached her, not even the boys at Hogwarts. She was good-looking and had always looked more mature physically than the other girls, thus triggering off interest from the older male teenagers. She could have had suitors. But besides her father's expectations about the conduct she should have with boys, she had made it clear that she did not wish to be touched as she could feel other people's thoughts and emotions – sometimes as a real aggression. Therefore, nobody, not even the girls, dared approach her, earning herself a reputation of coldness. Some of them used to compare her to the Potions Master, her Head of House, despite her being nice with other people in general, even people from the other Houses.

Now things were different. She had learned to control these intrusions and was no longer afraid of physical interactions. Besides, touching had become an important source of information since she was blind. She heavily relied on her hands for every day's life.

All the same. Severus was the first male individual she had been in physical contact with. In real physical contact. His arms around her, her hands in his, his presence close to her. Lorena had to admit this was indeed both delicious and disturbing. She was aware she was no longer a child herself. She could feel powerful energies rushing through her, sometimes violently. Whether this was her magic or her hormones, she could not have told. Maybe a volatile combination of both.

Severus had come back with her violin case. He put it into her arms. A smile lit up her face. But before she could open it, he took her hand. "I need to show you the kitchen."

Lorena nodded and she left the case on the sofa. Her hand still in his, his other hand on her waist, she followed him there. He showed her the layout, like for the bathroom.

"I suppose you're hungry," he asked.

"Yes, you're right."

"I've got a house elf that can bring us food to eat. Though I can prepare us something."

"Oh, I can help you then. They taught me a few things at the institution for the blind."

"Really ?" She could hear some doubts in his voice.

She nodded with pride. "That was a feat, I can tell you. But I managed. I know a few recipes. My grandmother learned me some cooking and I could do them at the institution."

Severus smiled. "We'll see that later then, one day you're too tired to prepare potions. Ziggy ! Ziggy !" he called.

A small popping sound indicated that a house elf had appeared.

"Master Severus called Ziggy, Ziggy's here for his Master !" a small voice piped up nearby them.

"Ah, Ziggy, please get something to eat for the both of us here. This is Mistress Lorena. She stays here with me. I want you to respect her like you respect me. Be careful with her, she's blind, she cannot see you but she can hear you and perceive your presence."

The term 'mistress' made Lorena uncomfortable, though Severus had not used it here in the same meaning he had given it earlier. She knew that elves could keep their masters' secrets but one could not be too cautious. If the wizarding world knew that she was now the most feared Hogwarts Potions Master's mistress – well, in words only though – her reputation would be ruined forever within the wizarding community in the country.

"Oh," the elf said. "Ziggy will be careful. Ziggy will respect Mistress Lorena. Ziggy will serve her like he serves Master Severus." Saying so, his tiny hand touched Lorena's which was hanging along her body. The contact took her off guard but nothing showed on her face.

"Ooooooooh !" squealed the elf. He was surprised by the contact, as if he had burnt himself. "Oh, Mistress Lorena, she's a powerful witch. Oh, elemental magic she has. All her being, elemental magic around. Very, mighty powerful magic !"

Before Lorena could say a word, a popping sound was heard. The elf had disappeared, leaving the young woman with her questions and a disturbed look on her face. _Elemental magic ?_ Severus guided her back to the sofa in the sitting-room. She sat there and the Potions Master sat opposite to her in his armchair.

Lorena did not take her instrument out. Something was bugging her, Severus could recognize that look on her face when she wanted to know something or ask a question. He suspected what it could be about.

"Severus… may I ask you a question ?"

He was about to tell her he was sure she would say that but he refrained from doing so. He was no longer in class slinging scathing remarks around. He did not wish to hurt her.

"Please do, Lorena. I'll see if I can answer it."

"The elf… he said… he talked about… Elemental magic. What's that ?"

He sighed. He knew her question would revolve around _that_. "It's the expression elves use to define a very old, very primitive form of magic. Primitive yet powerful though. Apparently, that's something you have in you in large quantities." He got quiet. Realization dawned on him. That was why the Dark Lord was after her. Her elemental magic. It could not be otherwise.

"Severus ? Do you know more about this ? You were about to explain."

_Damn perceiving __girl !_ he thought. _Nothing goes by her._ "I must confess I have just heard about it. Long ago." Lorena heard him rise from his armchair, walk a few steps and come back to her. She felt a book he put on her lap. "This book's about what we call 'primitive magic' and all the forces behind it. I'm sure it'll reply your questions on the topic."

"Why isn't it taught at Hogwarts ?"

Severus raised an eyebrow. "From what I heard, it's a very specific form of magic and only very few individuals are endowed with it. Therefore, it has been deemed not necessary to teach it. Maybe you're one of those people. Well, according to Ziggy, you are." His tone showed he did not hold house elves' opinions in high esteem.

Lorena wanted to tell him that Divination class could fall into the same category, with most students NOT having the gift to be Seers. Yet, Divination was taught. She felt he did not wish to discuss the matter of teaching it or not any further. "Is it connected with… the dark arts ?" Her question was straightforward.

"Read the book first and we'll discuss it after." He was back into his professor persona. "I don't want to spoil it," he added with a bit of scorn, while sitting down in his armchair.

"I will, Professor," she replied with just the necessary dose of irony, in a most Slytherin fashion. _Oh, believe me I will, Professor. And you'll reply to _all_ my questions. Or else. _Something in her told her that it was indeed in connection with the Dark Arts. She felt uncomfortable with that notion. That was probably the reason why the topic was not addressed at Hogwarts. Once again, her question had raised other questions. She really hoped the book would answer them.

She put the book aside and was about to open her case, her empty gaze in front of her, as she knew he was now back into his armchair, opposite to her, ready to listen to her. Then she changed her mind. She was well aware he wanted her to play something. _Not now, Professor,_ she thought with a slight smirk on her lips.

Instead she took her wand out of her sleeve and opened the book he had just given her. She began to read it, the book open on her lap, her wand between her fingers, like a pen, following the lines, her empty gaze still in his direction, straight ahead. But as she was reading, her eyes were filling up with the gleam of knowledge slowly sinking in her.

Severus was watching her reading. He had always been fascinated by her in such moments. Her face reflected both joy and concentration, her hand moving regularly on the page, sometimes going back to read again a passage. She was a fast reader though. And now, in the privacy of his home, he found something else in her. She was not only divinely beautiful, but she was _his_. For a few days, Severus had her for himself alone, as if she had always belonged here, to his home, to him. The thought sent him back to Albus Dumbledore's words, before they left Hogwarts : _"Do not forget Voldemort's plans for Miss Nottingham. Better for her to be made… let's say… useless for him, thanks to someone from the Light side, if you see what I mean. She's no longer a child. You know it and I know it too… __I think you're the best person for her. Remember you don't do this_ to _her, but_ for _her.__"_ The words had scared him first but now, he wanted them to become true. He wanted her badly as ever. Badly as he had never wanted a woman so badly before.

* * *

**_The theme Lorena plays on the piano at the beginning of this chapter is the _"Glasgow Love Theme"_, from the movie _Love Actually_ - already referred to in an earlier chapter._**

**_For the description of Spinner's End and Severus' home, I got inspired from the scene at the beginning of the _Half-Blood Prince_ movie. My imagination did the rest. Hope you liked it and it remained close in spirit to what it was in both books and movie._**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	16. Lustful fantasies

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**1****6 – Lustful fantasies**

The house elf reappeared later, to announce that the dinner was ready. Severus could see that he was watching at the young woman with big eyes filled with both awe and curiosity. He heard him mutter under his breath 'Powerful magic, Earth magic, powerful magic' several times. He led Lorena to the kitchen, where he usually had his meals. The small table was set for two.

Ziggy was not stupid and Severus knew perfectly why the elf was curious about the young woman. Her magical abilities were not the only reason. The Potions Master had never brought back a woman home and the small creature was surprised. Severus gathered quickly what was going on inside the small head. Ziggy was used to human ways. The young woman was the Professor's consort.

The elf waited for them both to be seated and enquired if they needed anything else. Severus replied with a polite 'no, thank you'.

"Ziggy wishes you both a nice meal. Oh, and Ziggy congratulates Master Severus for his marriage with Mistress Lorena ! Ziggy gone !" And in a popping sound, he disappeared before Severus could tell him anything.

Lorena kept her face lowered to her plate. The Potions Master watched her carefully. She was blushing deeply. "Better be it like this," he said softly. "Elves keep their master's secrets but we never know. Better for him to think it that way in case he may talk unwisely." There was a hint of amusement in his voice though but Lorena did not find the elf's remark particularly amusing. She ignored it.

Lorena remained silent. She just asked him to describe what was in her plate. He did so and she began to eat slowly, saying that the food was delicious indeed. She had realized that her attitude may be construed as childish and she did not wish to behave like a child. She decided to welcome things as they presented themselves. He was right, it would be preferable for her reputation to be considered as Professor Snape's wife rather than his mistress. At least in the wizarding community.

They ate in silence. Severus appreciated that she could remain silent for long moments. They could have interesting conversations too – these were two talents of hers he enjoyed most, beside her music. Well, he had not tasted her other talents yet.

"Tomorrow, we'll start the Occlumency lessons," he said bluntly.

She raised her head to him, unfazed. "Yes, of course." She had replied as if this was the most normal thing in the world to do during holidays.

When she was finished her meal, she voiced her appreciation and began to undress the table. Severus caught her wrist gently. "Ziggy will do it."

"I'm sorry, it's just that… I'm used to do that on my own."

"That's fine. I know you want to show to yourself that you can do it but you don't need to do so here."

She sighed and put her stuff back onto the table. "I'm not used to that. I mean, having servants," she said simply. She sat again, waiting for him to finish, her empty eyes in the void. Severus liked that look, she seemed to be in her own world – a world he would like to see, a world in which he would like to join her. Well, maybe this would happen. Soon.

Lorena went back to the living-room and sat on the sofa. She took her violin out of its case and tuned the instrument. A tiny smile curled her lips. Severus was now in his armchair, opposite to her, ready to listen to her. He said nothing, letting the initiative to her.

Lorena settled for '_Ashokan Farewell_'. The melody was delicate and it conveyed an atmosphere of nostalgia and sweetness around. The smile on her lips was still there and sometimes she just closed her eyes out of contentment.

They did not hear the house elf coming back. The small creature had come back to undress the table and had showed its large head nearby the door frame to glance, attracted by the music. He remained silent till the end of the piece. When Lorena was over, they could hear him whisper " 'Earth' magic, powerful magic, yes, very powerful magic !" while undressing the table.

Lorena said nothing. Maybe Severus had not heard Ziggy. But he turned his head towards the kitchen. He did not say a word though.

Lorena went on with another piece. Their favorite. The '_Adagio for Strings_'. The expression on her face changed, the smile faded away, leaving place to an expression of pain and sorrow. But it was so beautiful. She was so beautiful. She exactly knew how to convey all this. Severus felt that this piece described completely his own state of mind. The state of his soul, more precisely. It made him think about how empty his life was, devoid of joy, full of resentment and bitterness. Full of danger and pain too, spent double-crossing the Dark Lord. His soul, torn apart by the proximity of Evil. His own evil-doing with the Death-Eaters, even it that was in service to Albus Dumbledore, not to expose his own cover in service to the Order of the Phoenix. His own subsequent condemnation to a life of loneliness.

Tears began to roll on her cheeks, as if she was feeling his pain in some sort of psychic echo or resonance from him. The crescendo exploded, bursting out in a silence of few seconds, then the melody resumed with slow soothing waves, leaving anything else than nostalgia on its path. He envied Lorena's ability to cry over her music – he would have loved to do the same. Maybe, with time, tears would come. But he was not sure if they could mend his tortured soul. No doubt some damages were irreparable after associating with Evil for so long.

Lorena put down her violin once she was finished. She could hear faint sobs from the kitchen and gathered that the elf was crying. Severus heard it too. Even elves could cry – not him. He sighed silently. At this point, the Potions Master thought that Evil had won the battle over him. Over his soul. He belonged to the Dark Side – forever.

She picked up his handkerchief she still had with her to dab her cheeks. Severus thought it was strange that she still had it, more than a year after. "Thank you, Lorena." It was all he could say but the young woman could feel there was so much more in these words. His voice, usually so much under control, had let out tiny inflexions that told her that he was not his usual self, that something akin to emotion was rising in him.

She nodded in appreciation of his implied compliment. "You're welcome, Severus," she replied in a whisper.

She put her violin into its case. Then she grabbed the book she was reading and resumed reading where she had left before dinner. Severus took his last copy of the _Daily Prophet_ and they settled in an appeased silence. Ziggy disappeared in a popping sound and they were alone again.

Lorena found her reading very interesting. But instead of replying to her questions, the book raised more of them. She made herself comfortable by changing position, to a more relaxed attitude, her head on a cushion, her legs in the void not to soil the sofa with her shoes. She put her book on her belly, her eyes lost in deep thinking. After a few minutes though, she fell asleep, her left arm hanging in the void, her face turned to the left in complete abandon.

After a few moments, Severus lowered his paper down. He saw that the young woman was sound asleep on the sofa. He did not move at first. He just watched her. Her dress revealed the shape of her legs, slightly spread apart. Her breast was moving up and down to the rhythm of her quiet breathing. Her face was peaceful and innocent, her raven hair hanging around her cheeks, in a not-so-different fashion than his own, save that they were curlier.

Severus went on watching her. Suddenly, he felt a powerful surge in his body. Almost aching. In all innocence, unbeknownst to her, the young woman was triggering off in him something that he had not felt in a long time. Something that called for immediate release.

'_She's good for the taking_,' an evil voice sounded in his mind. '_You're both alone in your house. Nobody's around ! She's ready for the taking. Take her ! Show her what a man is !_'

Severus wondered if someone was not trying to hex him with the _Imperius_ curse to compel him to do something he may regret for the rest of his life. He realized at once that the voice was but only his own. He sighed, without being able to set his eyes off her. His dark gaze lasted – and lusted – on her legs slightly apart under her long green dress.

He could not move any longer. His imagination went into overdrive...

… He could see his hand moving up her dress from her ankle to her thigh. He could feel how sweet her skin was. His hand was now on her panties. No, she wore no panties. She was ready for the taking. He spread her legs more and placed himself in between, freeing his maleness and entering her with no delay. She screamed when he deflowered her brutally. He held her arms above her head with one hand so that she could not fight his lust back. His other hand was tearing apart her dress to free her breasts, breaking the chain of the Snape medallion, which fell to the floor with a metallic sound. He was kissing her neck, her cheeks, her lips, his tongue entering her mouth as savagely as his cock had done earlier into her womanhood. He climaxed and dabbed her tears after with the handkerchief she had on her. His handkerchief. It had been so good, she was so tight… How marvelously good he felt… Now she was his, he could do it again…

Severus shook his head to get rid of such thoughts. No, this was not supposed to happen like that. He was no longer a Death-Eater and had no reason to behave as such with her. There were other ways…

… His hand was now on her calf, under her dress, going up onto her thigh, in a subtle caress. He realized she wore no panties under her garments when his hand went further up for a daring caress. A sigh escaped her lips. 'Severus…' He looked at her, knowing that she could not see him. 'I'm here, Lorena.' He went on with his caress up to the moment when he could see she was ready for the taking. 'Severus… kiss me… please…' He happily obliged. Her lips were soft and she responded to his kiss beautifully, her tongue playing with his in a sensual game. Her arms knotted around his body. He opened her dress to get her breasts out gingerly. His hands felt the Snape medallion. 'My beautiful Slytherin girl…' He freed his maleness. 'It'll hurt you a bit, love… don't worry though. I'll be gentle.' She caressed his face, her touch intensified his own lust. 'Take me, Severus, take me… I'm wholly yours…' she said before she took his lips with hers again. He entered her slowly, careful not to hurt her too much. She screamed a little but smiled at him. He thrust in her deeply this time, the house resounding with their noisy lovemaking.

Severus sighed. This time, his fantasy had taken him up the right road. Yes, he would love to take her like that, on that sofa. Or shag her senseless in front of the fireplace, on the rug, all lights out except for the crackling fire in the hearth. That would be sensual, if not romantic.

He closed his eyes and sighed again. Now he knew he wanted her like mad. He would make her his before they left his house, that was for sure. He was aware that his fantasies were the product of his long pent-up sexual drive, combined with loneliness and stress. He was still young, in his early thirties, with the needs and wants of a man of his age. He needed release but not at the expense of a virgin girl. Not at the expense of Lorena.

She had fallen asleep. It had been a long day for her, with an exhausting Dark Arts defense training in the morning. Then their trip and arrival here. She had had to concentrate a lot once here to memorize the house layout. No wonder she was spent.

Severus put his paper aside and stood up. He removed her book and put her wand where the book was open, as a bookmark. He scooped her up in a gentle cradle carry, careful not to wake her up. Holding her as such, he was confirmed she was no longer a child. She was a grown woman. Her head rested against his chest and he carried her upstairs. Once there, he fought his wish to put her into his own bed. But he knew that would be an unwise decision as he was not sure whether he would be able to resist his lust. He pushed her room door and put his precious load onto the bed. He removed her shoes and spread the bedcover on her body so that she should not be cold. But before leaving her, he caressed her cheek and indulged in a light kiss on her forehead.

Severus went downstairs to fetch her book and wand back and close the house. He checked that all the locking spells, protection charms and wards were in place for the night. He put the book and her wand in her room. Before going to bed – in his room – he took a cold shower so that his throbbing maleness could calm down. He had hesitated a second or two, whether he would go and sleep with her in her bed but resisted the urge and entered his own room. Tomorrow was another day.

* * *

Lorena woke up during the night, thanks to her full bladder. She went to the restroom and realized she was still in her day dress. She remembered that she had fallen asleep on the sofa. Severus had brought her upstairs in her room. She sighed. He was really a gentleman – and a gentle man. She was most likely the only Hogwarts student to know that.

She took care of herself, doing as less noise as possible, then she came back to her room. She removed her dress and put on her night gown and settled for the night. But she could not fall asleep. The day had been eventful. But the only thing she kept remembering were Severus' hands on her body, his arms around her. She decided she liked that.

* * *

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	17. The Occlumency lesson

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**17**** – The Occlumency lesson**

On the day after, they started the Occlumency lessons. They were both in the living-room. He had asked Lorena to sit in his armchair. She had been surprised but had complied without a word. He had taken a stool and was sitting in front of her, at mid-distance between his armchair and the sofa.

"Professor Dumbledore asked me that you should be taught Occlumency. As you're already aware, this is the capacity to block your mind from other people's mind intrusions into yours, especially people know as Legilimens. People that use the spell of the same name. You already do that when you are in physical contact with other people. That's the same thing, save that the _Legilimens_ spell is far more powerful than a mere physical contact. Therefore you need to be able to shut out your mind with the same intensity than the force they may use to enter it. Now pay attention, Lorena. I'm going to penetrate your mind and you'll do everything in your power to prevent me from doing so." He paused. "The attack may be brutal. You've been warned."

Lorena did not have the time to think how the attack would feel like. She expected it to be like the intrusions she used to feel when in physical contact with other people. She heard him get his wand out and whisper '_Legilimens'_. Suddenly, she felt a force trying to enter her mind, similar to a giant wave rushing over a levee. She raised her mental shields as quick as possible to contain the wave. He retreated.

"Not bad for a beginning," Severus said.

She looked disoriented for a second or two, her hands on her temples. "That was brutal indeed…"

"Do you really think so ?" A snarl could be heard in his voice. Lorena did not like it but there was not much she could do against that. "Get ready. Prepare yourself." His voice had something threatening now. He was in full teaching mode.

She raised her mental barriers in anticipation. The _Legilimens_ spell hit her full force this time, much stronger than the first one. The wave entered her mind, sweeping the alleys of her soul in a brutal assault. She took her head into her hands, trying to get him out.

Severus was now in her mind, watching at her memories. Images of her past ran in a quick flow, all mixed up. A raven-haired man with a devilish look in a jail jumpsuit – her panic when she had become blind – her marvel when she had arrived at Hogwarts – the sad procession behind a hearse, a little girl hand in hand with the same devilish looking man – her mother's laugh – her first shopping in Diagon Alley to buy school stuff – an old woman's smile at her – her first concert. Her anger. Her hopes. Her fears. Her despair.

"Stay focused !" she heard a male, deep voice say in the distance.

"Nooooooo !" she screamed, getting out his armchair, falling on the floor on her knees at his feet, a hand on her chest as if trying to control a wild heartbeat. She shook her head. She managed to expel the intruder from her mind in a moan. Or rather, Severus got out of her mind.

Now she was panting heavily, as if she had run for miles on. She closed her eyes. "You're brutal, Severus…" was all she could utter.

"I'm not. You're just… weak." He had spat the last word with a despising tone.

Lorena wanted to cry but this time was not a moment for doing so. She would not give him that joy. She did not mind crying when playing music. Now was different. She just raised her head to him. He looked at her and saw that expression of pain and sorrow she used to have when she played the '_Adagio for Strings_' on her violin – tears excepted.

"I'm not… weak…"

"Then prove it ! Stay focused ! Control your emotions ! That's the only way to resist."

"I do resist !" she shouted back at him in revolt. "I do… You're just… ruthless." There was sadness in her voice. She had thought he was gentle and caring but the true Severus Snape was not actually. He was rather brutal and ruthless. How had she been so naïve to think that he would be any different from his usual self in class ? People could not change… she had been stupid to think the contrary.

The third attack on her mind arrived as unexpectedly as it was brutal. More than the first two attempts combined. This time, Severus could see the same memories but at a slower pace. He gathered that the funeral was for her mother. Her last hug with the same devilish looking man who was no other than her father. Her surprise at being sorted as a Slytherin. Her sadness when her grandmother died. Her violin. The recent concert at Hogwarts.

A memory interested him more than any other though. He was in her memories, holding her hands, guiding her gently in the corridors. When they were on that bench under the willow, on the lake shore. There was an atmosphere of peace and timelessness. He was under the impression that if there was a Heaven for him, it would look like that.

He felt she was focusing hard to contain him. She could not let him have his way with her mind. She would not let him access her innermost secrets.

"NOOOOOOO !" The link between them broke. She sprang up and made a bee line to the corridor outside the living-room, ready to leave the house. But in her panic, she took the wrong turn and got to the stairway instead. She quickly realized her mistake and decided to run to her bedroom as if her very life depended on it.

Severus gathered that and quickly went after her. She had been fast. Anger, despair, fear fueled her extra sensorial perception that was at its maximum and she had managed to go upstairs without missing a step.

Once there, in the upstairs corridor, he caught her up. He wanted to hex her but her mental energy seemed to have increased hundredfold. She had no wand but a kind of protective aura was around her which deflected his spells. _Elemental magic ?_ he thought.

Severus had no other way than to resort to good old methods. He caught her there and tried to control her. She fought back violently. He gained control of her after an unfair fight. He pushed her against the wall brutally, imprisoning her wrists in his fists, her back to him.

Lorena felt she was trapped between the wall and the man now pressing his body against her back. She tried to get rid of him but he was taller and stronger. She was utterly frightened now. She could feel his breath on her neck, one of his legs between hers, her both wrists clamped firmly in his hands above her head.

What panic had started, sheer fright ended it. She sagged and sobbed, pleading him to let go of her. She closed her eyes. She had never experienced something as such before. It was not even comparable to the intrusions she had sustained before she had learned how to control them, when people touched her. These were annoying, anguishing sometimes, but never to the point of driving her in such a panic. Pain was intense, as was anxiety. The very close contact with Severus' body was the only thing comforting but even that sensation was met with anxiety.

Her mind was now like a raging fire, after the damages brought by the ocean wave that had swept her mind. She cried again and again, with the intense feeling that she would be drained of all her tears forever after that. Her wrists were hurting like hell under his firm grip – or was it just her then ?

Only the sound of her sobs could be heard in the house. Then, from the depths of her mind, she heard a soothing voice. A deep voice, similar to the one that had soothed her when she had suddenly fallen into the night, one year ago.

"It's over… It's over," the voice repeated.

Lorena's sobs began to subside. Her breathing slowed down, as well as her heartbeat. The searing pain in her mind was receding away too. She thought she was coming back to the surface after getting nearly drowned.

"It's over." She realized it was _his_ voice.

Severus was still pressing against her back, his hands firmly gripping her wrists above her head. He realized that he had been too far with her for a first lesson. True he had thought she would be far stronger than that. Once again, he had botched it all up. He had been wrong all along the line.

"Why… why did you… do this ?... to me ?" she managed to utter after several minutes. Her voice was weak, coming from far. "You… you raped me !"

The word hurt him. He had not wished that. True he had fantasized about that possible reality but had rejected it in favor of something much more consensual, much more enjoyable, between them. Fantasy and reality were two different things.

"No, I didn't rape you, Lorena. I hurt you, yes, I reckon that, but I didn't want to hurt you either." He suddenly remembered her reaction when he had asked her to use the _Sectumsempra_ spell on him. '_I don't want to hurt you… I'll hurt you never,_' she had told him then. He did not want to hurt her either but he had. He had while he had sworn he would do every thing in his power to protect her.

"You're hurting me !" she cried. "Oh, Merlin… you're hurting me…"

Severus gathered what she meant. He released her wrists. Now his arms were rounding her waist in a tight yet gentle embrace, trying to soothe her pain. Then Severus did something he had never done to anyone – at least in a long time.

"Forgive me, Lorena, please… I'm sorry… forgive me…"

The last time he had begged as such, he had met a firm rebuttal. He hoped that this time, the outcome would be different.

"Forgive me, Lorena… I'm sorry… I didn't want to hurt you…"

She closed her eyes. The deep voice that uttered these words to her ear was now caressing like a sweet breeze. She was now having a firmer grip on herself, the giant wave that had swept her mind was gone, the fire in her mind was quenched. He repeated his words several times, hoping his voice would soothe her wounded soul.

"Severus… Severus…"

The Potions Master turned her body so that she could face him. "Oh, Lorena… what did I do… to you ?" His voice was shaking. "Will you ever forgive me ?"

She closed her pale gray eyes. "Severus… just take me in your arms…" she begged with a very small voice. He could feel she was still afraid.

"You're already in my arms, Lorena." He just pressed her tighter against his own body and there, she cried again, silently, releasing the remains of her pain and terror, her head now resting on his chest, her hands grasping his arms in search of comfort.

They remained as such for a long moment, time for her to feel better. She was clinging to him desperately, searching his support. He did not dare ask her if she could forgive him. He felt this would be his punishment for his behavior. He caressed her cheek in a tender gesture. It soothed her a lot as she hugged him close to her, as if she had been afraid he may go away, leaving her alone in her darkness and her fright.

After a long moment spent like that, in each other's arms, Severus took her by the arms and helped her go downstairs. She was feeling better indeed. They entered the living-room. He hugged her again, caressing her hair, her cheek, in a last attempt to get her pardon. But the young woman said nothing and he thought that every thing was lost this time. He was surprised that she did not reject him and ask him to bring her back to Hogwarts right now. That she even let him approach her and hug her. So he said nothing and opted for patience. She was probably confused.

All the same. Severus was aware he had behaved with her in a most brutal and gruesome manner. She had told him he was ruthless. That was the word. Ruthless, he was ruthless. Ruthless, brutal, gruesome. No wonder he had been alone all these years. He expected to spend the rest of his life single too – if he went on behaving that way – being abusive even with the gentlest souls around.

"Do you feel better ?" he asked her softly.

"Yes… thank you." She looked still shaken.

It hurt him to see her like that – by his own fault. He understood then that by hurting other people, he ended up hurting himself.

"Do you want to go out ? We could walk to the park nearby."

Lorena agreed. She was no longer shaking, and if Severus was with her, comforting her, she would be fine. The weather was sunny outside and they decided to go out together at once. He led her to the park nearby that had been rehabilitated a few years back. There was a bit of a forest tract that had been spared from the textile industry days.

Severus felt she still needed support. He had slid an arm around her waist, holding her closely to him, and they walked like this till they arrived to the forest.

"Are you alright now ?" he asked her.

"Still a bit dizzy…"

"There a bench here, let's sit there," he suggested, after checking there was nobody around. The place was deserted. She obeyed him, the possessive arm around her waist did not leave her any choice.

They sat together. Severus made sure she was comfortable against him, after he had slid his arm around her shoulders. Now her head was resting on his shoulder. They remained silent for long minutes.

"Why did you do that, Severus ?" Her voice was firm now, even bitter, contrasting with her wary look. She had sit upright as if to separate herself from him.

It promised to be difficult. He always had difficulties in sharing his feelings. Living the life of a spy had not improved things either. But he knew that he had to make an effort this time. A real effort.

"I thought with your capacities, that you'd be able to take it."

"You never told me why I should be trained as an Occlumens."

He raised an eyebrow. This was not the question he had expected ! The matter was getting more and more difficult to handle. He checked around him. There was nobody around. He knew what he would have to do to reply her statement. Explain all the stuff about the Dark Lord and that story of ancient virginity ritual to get her powers. For a few seconds, Severus _hated_ Albus Dumbledore with all his guts. The old man should have told her ! He was the one to tell her !

"Listen, you have very specific abilities and you need the protection Occlumency can bring you."

"Protection from what ?"

For most likely the very first time in his life, Severus felt he was cornered. To his great surprise, he found that the only natural and logical course of action was to surrender. He decided to tell her every thing. Well, almost every thing.

"Protection from the Dark Lord."

Lorena turned her face to him. "You-Know-Who ? But why ? I've got nothing to do with him ! I mean, I'm just a student, that's all."

Severus closed his eyes. She was right. "You're not only a student. You're much more than that, Lorena. You have particular powers." Then he remembered his thoughts the day before when Ziggy had talked about her powerful magic. "Your… elemental magic. He's after that."

She turned her face to him. "I thought you knew nothing about elemental magic." Her tone was cold. "You lied to me." This time, her voice had grown into a growl.

It was not lost on Severus. He sighed. "No, I didn't lie to you, Lorena. I don't know much about elemental magic."

"You, of all people, you tell me this ? You, the Dark Arts expert ? I don't believe you, _Professor_ !" She had not spoken loud but each of her words was scathing him as surely as a _Sectumsempra_ spell.

She was much more Slytherin that he would have thought first. Severus decided he would play the same game as she was. Probably with more honesty than usual though, considering that she was honest. "The expert will tell you that these are two different things. I deal with very advanced magic, not…"

"Not primitive stuff, don't you ?" she retorted icily. "Too much primitive for your own talents, _Professor_ ? You think like the rest of the Slytherins. Well, I should not expect different from you, being yourself one. You owe me the truth, don't you think ? _Professor !_"

She had reverted to his title and he hated that.

"You haven't finished the book yet. The truth begins there. Read it first and I'll tell you the truth after. We cannot discuss a matter if we do not have the same references." He paused. "I've read that book, you know. I've read every book there is in my library at home. And even more ! Don't lecture me, will you !"

"Of course you have ! So that means you know more than you wish to tell." Her tone was scornful. "The book won't tell me about You-Know-Who's plans for me however." She paused. "Because he has plans, if I need to be protected from him, hasn't he ?"

As Severus was not replying enough fast in her opinion, Lorena decided to give him her own brand of Legilimency. Her own way. With her own special abilities. Her elemental magic. She knew she would have to do fast. She turned herself to him and quickly found his temples. Her hands rested there and through the physical contact, she managed to enter his mind, despite his being a skilled Occlumens. But he had been distraught by her anger and it had made him lower his guard.

Through the physical contact, she entered his mind forcefully. If it had been painful, he did not show it. He just took her wrists in his hands but left her fingers on his face all the same. She explored his mind for a few seconds and saw him discuss with Dumbledore, his meetings with the Dark Lord. She heard Voldemort's snake-like voice hissing '_Her powers… granted to me… Halloween night… virginity ritual…_' She even saw his face and that really scared her beyond imagination.

She felt something cold in his mind too. Sorrow, bitterness, resentment. And further deep, very well hidden, a faint light. She got closer and saw that the faint light was trying to survive amidst the pain around. To her surprise, the light bore an image she recognized. Her own.

"No, witch !" she heard his deep voice while his two firm fists clutched on her hands broke the contact. "That's private ! You don't have the right !"

Lorena gasped. She had gotten enough information. But she had been intrigued by the little light trying to survive in the dark recesses of his soul. She gathered she'd better not ask him about it.

"You see what it can be when… when someone force themselves on your mind ?" she spat. "What you did to me earlier… was…" She turned her head away in disgust.

Severus had to admit that she had a point. He had been surprised by her assault on his mind. She was not a trained Legilimens but that was promising. Though she still needed a physical contact, she promised to be talented in this regard.

"You got what you wanted now," he replied with his cold, teacher-like tone. The same tone he used when he wanted to frighten the students at Hogwarts during his Potions class. He hoped he would end the conversation that way.

Lorena was so angry for what he had done to her earlier, she had been so much frightened then, than nothing, not even the dreaded Professor Severus Snape, the Hogwarts Potions Master, could make her more afraid than what she had endured when he had entered her mind so ruthlessly earlier. "Not exactly. I want you to expand on that plan. What's that virginity ritual ?" Her voice was still angry. "Don't lie to me this time !" she growled. "I'll know it."

Severus could not help thinking that now, he really understood why she had been sorted into Slytherin. Obviously, the ends justified the means. She was determined to use everything in her power to know the truth. He sighed, took a deep breath. He checked there was still nobody around to eavesdrop on them.

"The virginity ritual is part of a very old form of magic. Elves call it elemental magic but we call this 'primitive' magic as it dates back to the birth of mankind most likely. It's the first form of magic ever performed by human beings. All other forms of magic we currently use, derive from it. Yet, it's still very powerful."

Lorena wanted to tell him that she already knew that. But she decided to let him speak. Her empty pale gray eyes seemed to be staring at the void in front of them. But Severus knew she was paying attention.

"That magic is in general associated with women. No wonder as they were the ones to have the wizarding knowledge from the beginning. Among women, virgins are considered as holding a very particular status. As you are aware, every thing pertaining to virginity is sacred and powerful. You learned that virgin blood has particular virtues, for example. That's why we ask you girls at Hogwarts to save your blood every month – that is, to those of you who are still virgins."

He paused. Lorena wanted to ask him how he knew that but she realized her question was silly. He knew because he was a House Head and above all, that particular blood was used to prepare some potions.

"Blood magic." She shuddered – she knew it was associated with Dark magic. But she did not know that blood magic was also associated with her elemental magic.

"Yes. But that blood is not the only one to be important. There's another one rarer. The blood that flows when a girl becomes a woman, when a man tears her hymen during her first intercourse. It has even more power than the monthly blood as it is not of the same nature, as this blood is the remains of the torn hymen. However, as this blood is her virginity, it has the power to give its owner's powers to the man that tears it. Most of the times, health and youth. The ritual used for that event is of importance too."

"I see. You mean that the wizard that would take me… would get my powers ?" Her voice had lost all trace of coldness or scorn. She was interested by his explanations and was focused on his words.

"Yes, on conditions like his own wizarding training and powers, the powers sought after, the date and the conditions of the taking."

"The conditions ? The date ?" She was clearly puzzled.

Severus knew he was arriving to the most delicate part of his explanation. "Yes, date and conditions." He sighed. "The date is important. It must be during the eve of one of the four great magical dates. February 1st, May 1st, August 1st or November 1st."

"Imbolc, Beltane, Lughnasadh and Samhain respectively," Lorena whispered. "Samhain, also known as… Halloween."

"Exactly." He could see the wheels turning in her mind. She would put two and two together pretty soon.

"You mentioned the conditions. What do you mean ?"

"Yes, the conditions of the taking. Listen, Lorena. What I'm going to say is not easy…" His voice even up to now began to croak. "The conditions are how the girl is taken by the man. The virgin blood, from the deflowering, is even more powerful if… if it is taken… by force."

At this mention, Lorena turned her head slowly towards him. "Rape ?"

"Yes, Lorena. A raped virgin's blood is the most powerful of all categories of virgin bloods. The girl's powers will be given to the man that would take her that way… to their fullest."

_Dark magic indeed. Very D__ark magic._ He let his words sink in her. He saw her brows furrowing. He could not help thinking that somehow, she was strong. Any other girl would have had a fit or whatever. Not her. She was more collected than ever.

"To sum it all up, You-Know-Who wants to get my powers in a particular ritual on Halloween by raping me. I thought he was already powerful enough, what more do I have to 'offer' him ?"

The question was relevant. It was even at the core of the issue. "There's one thing he doesn't have though. One power he never had. The power granted by one of the most powerful magic. He believes your elemental magic can give him access to it."

The expression rang a bell in Lorena's mind. What had Dumbledore said about the most powerful magic once ? Music ? No, it could not be that. "Love," she whispered. "He wants the power granted by love. He believes that my elemental magic can give him that power."

"Yes, love is the only thing he never had and never understood either."

"But love… is something freely given ! There's no love… in rape !"

Severus said nothing. He just took her hand in his. To his great surprise, she let him do.

"No, you're right, there isn't. He thinks that only power can gain him more power. He thinks that he can get that particular magic that way, through your elemental magic. Of course, he's wrong, but he doesn't know it. It shows that he doesn't understand the basics of either love or elemental magic."

"Or he doesn't want to know !" She paused. "It must be terrible to be like that, living without knowing that someone, somewhere, somehow, has loved you. Or still does love you. I don't have my mother any longer, my father's in jail, but I know deep down that they love me. I think that everybody's got the same experience, more or less."

"The Dark Lord doesn't have it. Dumbledore explained to me once that before he attended Hogwarts, he had found him in an orphanage. He had not even been conceived in love."

"You mean his mother was raped ?"

"Dumbledore didn't mention that explicitly. Apparently his father's been trapped into marriage by a witch that had used a love potion on him. He was not in love with her at all. When the potion effects wore off, he wasn't in love with her more than on day one. But she was pregnant when he left her. She died while giving birth to the boy, the future Dark Lord. His father didn't want to hear from the baby. His mother gave birth and died in an orphanage where he grew up without love. He was put aside as he was deemed strange due to his wizarding abilities. He could speak with snakes for example. He still can by the way."

She squeezed his hand in hers. Images of her past came back to her but she preferred to keep shut on that issue. "That explains a lot then… My becoming blind…"

"To remove you from your training, our influence and our protection. You're an easier target once you're blind."

"Severus… I'm… afraid," she said quietly in a whisper.

She did not sound it too much. "As long as I'm with you, you don't need to be afraid. I'm here to protect you."

"But you're one of You-Know-Who's followers ! I saw it in your mind."

"A Death-Eater ? True. But I'm a spy for Dumbledore against the Dark Lord first. I quit being a Death-Eater long ago. Well, I quit following their ways." Shame could be heard in his voice. Shame, remorse, regret, pain.

"A spy ?" she whispered, surprised and relieved.

"Yes. Now I want you to forget that part. That's why I was angry after you when you… you entered my mind the way you did. For your own safety, the less you know, the better. Please. For you, for Hogwarts, for all of us."

"I will, Severus. I don't know for the others, but… I'll do it for you," she said while putting her hand on his cheek, in a gentle stroke. "I'll do it for that little light shining in you," she even dared say, considering the anger he had felt when she had uncovered that in his mind.

Severus took her hand in his and kept it against his cheek. He was no longer angry after her and he even felt deeply moved by her words. After all, he had been the one to brutalize her mind first. She had just given him a taste of his own potion in return. After a few seconds, he chanced it and put a light kiss on her palm. He just held her hand not too tight, in case she wanted to slap him for his daring gesture.

Lorena did not react as he had expected. She let him do. He could see her lips parting a bit. He went on and kissed her wrist, which he had held so tight earlier, hurting her.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you, Lorena. I truly didn't want to."

"I know, Severus. I know that deep down, you care."

The Potions Master could not hold it any longer. This was the moment or never. Well, the opportunity may never represent itself. So he chanced it, whatever the consequences.

Slowly, Severus closed the distance between them and his lips brushed hers in a very sweet caress. He felt she was surprised but she caught on with the kiss first in a shy fashion, then more and more greedily, passionate. She was eager to kiss him, as much as he was. Severus deepened the kiss and she replied to him beautifully, letting him search her mouth, their tongues touching together in a sweet yet amorous contact. She was inexperienced obviously but she enjoyed kissing him and quickly took an active part in it. He felt one of her hands on his chest, not to repel him but to cling to him instead. Her other hand got lost on the back of his neck then in his hair in a sweet caress. He put his hands on her waist, dragging her gently to him as the kiss was more and more sensual.

Something strange happened during their kiss. It was as if their minds had been connected somehow. Lorena being a contact telepath and Severus a Legilimens, they both felt it. A bond was forming between the two. A powerful bond.

'_May I enter ?_' he gently knocked at her mind's door.

She opened it and smiled at him to welcome him inside.

'_May I visit ?_' she asked later. He nodded yes, taking her hands in his as if to guide her into his mind, amazed that she could see. '_My inner eye isn't blind, you know…_' she replied with humor.

They kept on kissing each other for long minutes, getting a taste of each other. He was the first man to kiss her that way. She had been the first woman for him in a very long time. In ages. They took the gift of finding of each other with mutual joy. It was so good, that little piece of happiness they had just shared.

They parted from each other. Severus found she had something strange yet beautiful in her eyes. Something he had never seen. A gleam that filled her empty eyes and gave them a deeper hue.

Lorena had still her hands on his temples. Gently, she sought entrance into his mind again and he let her in. Her mental touch was like a caressing breeze. She went directly to that private part she had found in him. The light was still there. It was just shining stronger and brighter than the first time she had seen it.

* * *

**_I got inspired by the scene in the _Order of the Phoenix_, for the infamous Occlumency lesson. Whether in the book or in the movie, it was awesome. I also integrated a few things we learned about Voldemort's past, from the _Half-Blood Prince_._**

**_Things are getting interesting between Severus and Lorena. More to come !_**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	18. His decision

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**18**** – His decision**

They decided to come back home, hand in hand, like two lovers. Well, Severus had one hand on her back and the other held hers. Once they were at home, he pushed her gently against the wall and kissed her again greedily. She responded to him with equal hunger.

He let go of her and they came back to the living-room. She sat on the sofa and he brought her back some water, as she was thirsty. He gave some thought about the happy turn of events. He realized that he could not wait very long before he made her his. He wanted her more badly than ever. Now that she knew the truth, maybe things would be easier. He remembered his fantasy the night before. His raping her. It had been just a fantasy. He was no longer a Death-Eater, eager to please his Dark Lord.

Thinking of the man brought him back to reality. What was to be done with the girl, now she knew ? His dark gaze fell on the magic calendar hanged on the wall nearby. The monthly pages would change by themselves as time went by. The various celebrations of the wizarding world were highlighted in a different color. Then something struck him.

Lughnasadh was falling in two weeks' time.

* * *

Severus felt weird thinking of it. What if the Dark Lord would come and take her away for his awful scheme ? On that day ? _There must be a way to spare her that_, he thought.

Dumbledore's words came back to him. _"Do not forget Voldemort's plans for Miss Nottingham. Better for her to be made… let's say… useless for him, thanks to someone from the Light side, if you see what I mean. She's no longer a child. You know it and I know it too… __I think you're the best person for her. Remember you don't do this_ to _her, but_ for _her.__"_

_Yes, _for_ her…_ He sighed and brought her back the glass of water. She accepted it gladly and drank it all. He was looking at her hungrily, happy she was blind.

She gave him back the glass he brought back to the kitchen. When he came back to the living-room, she was about to leave the place.

"Where are you going ?"

"I think you took my book and wand upstairs yesterday evening, when you brought me back there. I want to read on."

He smiled at her. "Sure. Let me get it because I don't know if you could find them."

"Just tell me and I'll find them," she insisted with a grin.

He looked at her. "Alright. The wand is in your book, as a page-marker. The book is on your bed table."

She thanked him with a smile that made him warm and she went upstairs. Severus felt very protective of her all of a sudden. He sat in his favorite armchair, opening a book he had not finished reading. The young woman came back a few minutes later, her book and wand in hand. She sat on the sofa, removed her shoes and got herself comfortable for reading.

Her reading was interrupted by lunch. After the meal, she played a bit of music and they went out again to the forest park. Hidden behind a large oak tree, they spent most of their time kissing each other, then walking holding hands. They came back for dinner. She played some music again and resumed her reading.

Except that this time, she was more worried than the day before. The Potions Master was glancing at her and he could see anxiety taking over her face. He knew what chapter she was reading. _Influence of the Dark Arts over Primitive Magic_.

"Severus ?"

"Yes ?"

"May I… May I ask you a question ? There are things I don't understand…"

He assessed her request. He had an idea. "Lorena, come here." She hesitated. "Come with me. Sit with me. That armchair is big enough for the both of us." He closed his book and put it back onto the pile beside. She rose from the sofa, her hand forward. His hand met hers and grabbed it gently. "Come here… like this… sit on my lap…"

Lorena sat on him. She settled herself there, her head on his shoulder, her legs over the armrest, one hand on his chest. The book was open in front of them on her lap so that Severus could read with her. He read aloud the paragraph that was bugging her. It concerned exactly what they had discussed earlier in the park. The use of certain rituals involving parts of the human body for Dark magic purposes.

"Did I understand well ?" she enquired.

"I'm afraid, yes."

She sighed. "Severus… I don't want this to happen."

"It won't happen."

"You-Know-Who is very powerful. If… if it had to happen anyway, please promise me that…" She swallowed. "That you'd kill me before," she whispered. "Please."

"I won't let that happen, Lorena. Neither will Dumbledore."

She was no more reassured. "All the same. Please promise me you'd kill me before he may even lay his hands on me. His or the other Death-Eaters'. Promise me you'll use the _Avada Kedavra_ on me. Please."

Severus felt a pain in his chest. Another sacrifice to make, which would rip his soul apart further more. "The Killing Curse… I can't promise you that, Lorena. I can't. I just simply can't." _Or the little light in me would be snuffed out forever. _

"Killing me would not be a murder but an act of mercy, Severus." She began to cry. He could feel that her anxiety was getting her over the edge. _What about my soul ?_ he thought. _Does a mercy killing rip the soul apart like… for an ordinary murder ?_

He caressed her hair, then her cheek. "I can't promise you that. The only thing I can promise you is that I'll do every thing in my power to help and protect you." His voice was hoarse. He felt bad because deep down he knew he would be able to cast the _Avada Kedavra_ on her for a mercy killing. Yes, he would. _There must be another way…_

He could feel her fear. "I don't want you to have that fate either, Lorena." _You're mine ! _"I won't let it happen." He sighed. "I think you have read this enough for today. I don't want you to have nightmares tonight."

"I'll be okay, Severus."

He had doubts about that but said nothing. He just held her tighter. "What about a change ? A bit of poetry ?"

"You have some ?"

"Yes." He took his wand and moved it gracefully in the air. A book left a shelf and placed itself into his hand. He opened it and began to read it with his deep, silky voice. Lorena felt she relaxed. She began to uncover his neck a little bit, freeing it slightly from the black scarf and the white shirt collar he wore so that she could kiss him there, caressing his cheek, his hair, her tongue gently tickling his skin…

He moaned. "Don't do that to me, Lorena… or I won't be able to continue reading." He would have loved her to continue but he was not sure he would be able to remain in control of himself. He would be able to throw her onto the ground and take her there no matter what. No, he did not wish to behave like a Death-Eater. Thing was, he knew he could. He shut out his mind so that she could not perceive this particular thought.

She stopped kissing him but her fingers kept caressing his hair. "Your hair… they're so thin, so sweet… They're like silk, you know." That was the first time someone was telling him such a thing. He could not remember even his own mother telling him this.

She felt the emotion in his voice, the tension in his body under her. Her mouth began to graze under his chin, going up to reach his mouth. Their lips joined together and they kissed in a very passionate manner, forgetting about the poetry for a few minutes, time for them to taste each other's tongue in a sensual delight.

Severus went on reading, his voice having a soothing effect on her. He noticed she had dozed off and he stopped reading. He just kept quiet, holding her tight against him, in the dim light of the room, in complete silence. _There must be a way… You'd do that for her._ He could imagine the Dark Lord raping her, then letting his followers have their share of her. He could not witness that. He would not let that happen. Yes, he'd rather kill her to spare her such a horrendous fate at their hands. Then, his soul torn apart, he would drink a poison of his composition and die in his turn. That would be a softer fate than the death given by the Dark Lord. Anyway… The Dark Lord would kill him afterwards but Severus would not care about his own physical demise then, as he would already be dead in his own heart and soul.

He put the two wands into his left sleeve and added the poetry book to the pile besides the armchair. He took her in a cradle carry and stood up. He brought her upstairs into her bedroom. This time, he really wanted to share her bed but she woke up in the meantime. He gave her wand back, went downstairs to check the protections and wards he usually placed on the house for the night and went back to his own bedroom. Night would give him the occasion to find a plan to avoid the fate Voldemort held in stock for her.

* * *

There was only but one way to get the young woman out of this predicament. Dumbledore, once more, was right. Severus knew it. He had not fallen asleep at once and had even spent a good deal of the night tossing in his bed, thinking about it.

Whatever the perspective he could examine the issue from, all paths led him to the same conclusion.

_Take her. Make a woman of her. Make her yours._

_

* * *

__**Lughnasadh is one of the 8 ancient sacred days - August 1st.**_

_**I was inspired by the Spinner's End scene in the **_**Half-Blood Prince**_**movie to write all the action taking place there (at least what happens in Severus' sitting room - the rest is my imagination). In particular the moment when he reads his paper in his armchair. Oh well.**_

_**Also from the same book in the series, all the questioning about murder and mercy killing. Bu you have all figured that already.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	19. Her decision

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**1****9 – Her decision**

On the day after, Severus had decided to spend the whole morning in his potions lab in the house basement. He had invited Lorena to come with him and help him prepare a potion so that she could train herself. He gave her simple tasks to perform. Obviously, something was disturbing him and he just clammed up. Lorena felt it through their physical contact – though she could not perceive the real motives behind his trouble – and she did not insist.

They went out of the lab for lunch. They ate in silence. Lorena did not mind and she remained silent too. After lunch, they came back to the lab and resumed their tasks there in silence till dinner. Her mind had that specific capacity to concentrate on a task to perform it, and wander in some unknown world of hers at the same time.

They had spent the whole day without exchanging more than twenty words overall. She had clearly perceived he was not angry after her. However, his silence was in relation with their discussion the day before. Or even, maybe, with their first Occlumency lesson – which had been a sheer disaster.

After dinner, Lorena decided to grant herself a break. She would not go back to the lab. No way. She loved potion making, moreover doing it in Severus' company. But she wanted to do something else. She got her violin out and began to play the '_Adagio for Strings'_. Maybe the tune would help the Potions Master to unwind a little bit before the night.

He was sitting in his armchair and he quickly gave up reading his book when he heard her play the piece he had come to love so much. True it fitted his mood perfectly that night. He wondered what she could feel when she played that tune. Discreetly, he entered her mind.

Sorrow, nostalgia, sadness, loss, pain, despair. He received all these emotions, which strangely echoed his own. He pulled out of her mind. She was so beautiful when she played music ! Suddenly, it came to his mind that he was lucky to have her in his midst. He regretted the pain he had caused her the day before and promised himself he would be more careful and gentle next time he teaches her Occlumency. She had great possibilities but that made her particularly sensitive. He did not know when he would resume the lessons. Not immediately, for sure.

The crescendo began in long movements. Her face reflected her emotions, tears began to roll on her cheeks, her lips parted, as if she was deeply suffering in her body. Despite that, she was still beautiful. Then there was the silence. A silence that was still music. She resumed playing with a feeling of intense nostalgia.

Severus did not notice at once, but as the piece ended, he felt something wet on his own cheeks. Two tears had fallen from his eyes.

_Take her. Make a woman of her. Make her yours._

_Love her._

* * *

Severus was aware that Lughnasadh was approaching fast. He had to talk to her. He was afraid that the Dark Lord may even try to get to her now and not wait for Halloween to take her for the ritual.

He was aware too what beating the Dark Lord to the mark would mean for him. He would be cruelly punished if the Dark Lord came to know it. Even killed. He had considered the issue. But he quickly dismissed it. Lorena was more important than his own person. He trusted his Occlumency abilities and he would always manage to escape the Dark Lord's wrath. Honestly, he had acquired a good control of himself so that he could put up with the _Cruciatus_ curse. But the girl was defenseless. He was there to protect her.

Severus took her to the park where they loved to go. They sat on their usual bench and they remained as such, silent, hand in hand.

"I may have found a way out for you, Lorena," he said after a long moment of silence.

"A way out ? And that is ?"

Thinking of it, it looked rather easier to design the plan than to explain it. He took a silent breath. "The Dark Lord wants your virginity for Halloween. Or before. Lughnasadh is in two weeks' time."

_August 1__st__ already ?_ Lorena thought.

"I suggest you decide whom you should give your virginity to, on your own accord. That's the idea. If you have someone in mind…" his voice croaked a bit then. "I can bring you to him whenever you wish. You may refuse that arrangement and say no as well."

Lorena remained motionless, letting his words sink in her mind. She had thought about the problem and had arrived to the same idea. But not to the same conclusion though. She was at a crossroads. The crossroads between childhood and adulthood. She had to make a decision. A decision that involved not only herself and her safety, but also another person and his safety.

"No doubt that You-Know-Who will be after that person, won't he ?"

"No, he won't." Not exactly the truth or a lie. Just in between.

"How can you be so sure ? I don't want that person to be in danger because of me."

Severus could see on her face that she was trying hard to make a decision. However she had accepted the notion.

"That person won't be in danger, Lorena. This consideration should not influence your eventual choice."

"Yes, it should." She paused. "Because I don't want _you_ to be in danger, Severus," she ended up in a determined whisper.

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"You understood me perfectly," as if she had seen his face. "I don't want _you_ to be in danger because…" She turned her face to him this time, a determined look on her features. "I don't want nobody else but _you_, Severus." She squeezed his hand.

"You mean…"

"I mean… You don't need to bring me to a man of my choice. My choice is sitting right here beside me. You're the one I choose. Unless you…" She paused. "Unless you have your own reasons for not consenting to this."

This was a rhetorical question. She had felt his fancy for her. The faint light he had hidden deep in his mind. A faint light that he had tried to shelter and preserve in secret. A faint light that had grown nonetheless.

Severus knew he had no reason to refuse. He was sure she was alluding to what she had seen into his mind during that Occlumency session. She had managed to enter his own mind and found out about his feelings for her, though he was hiding them carefully in the deep, dark recesses of his soul, sheltered from any possible intrusions, in particular those from the Dark Lord.

"Do you really want this ?" he asked softly. "With me ?"

"Yes, I do. I'll even go farther than that, Severus." She closed her eyes and opened them again. "I can give you what You-Know-Who will never receive either from me or anybody else."

"And that is ?"

"The most powerful magic in this world." She let her words sink in him. "We could perform the ritual together and you'll get what he's after. You'll need it and Professor Dumbledore will need it too."

"What Dumbledore has to do here ?"

"You're his man against You-Know-Who. His spy," she spoke in a breath. "You don't seem convinced but after reading that book, I can tell you that I am sure that primitive magic, my 'Earth' magic, is very powerful indeed. I choose you and in return, I'll give you extra powers which may help you fulfill your task against You-Know-Who. Think of it. Bringing the Dark Lord down."

Severus had to admit that she had been more Slytherin than Salazar Slytherin himself would have been in his own time. She was the true, worthy symbol of her House. That was a very clever idea, which rounded his plan even more perfectly. "Double-crossing the Dark Lord, then ?"

She smiled. "Yes." There was a hint of joy in her voice.

"Are you… happy with this arrangement ?" he asked her.

"Let's say I'm proud to bring my… small contribution to the defeat of You-Know-Who. But that's not the most important to me. I'm happy to be yours, Severus. I want you to know that." She sighed. "Of course, if you're not happy with this… you may refuse that arrangement and say no as well," she said, sending him back his own sentence.

A tiny smile curled up his lips. He squeezed her hand. "I can't and won't lie to you, Lorena. I'd be the happiest man in the world... to honor you."

Saying so, he took her lips delicately first, asking for entrance in her mouth by licking her lips gently. She let him take her tongue and they were both soon caught in an amorous kiss, possessing each other with delight. Lorena knotted her arms around his neck while Severus was holding her tight against him, one of his hands lost in her curly raven mane. They went on kissing as such for long minutes, completely oblivious of the world around.

They came back home, hand in hand again, like two lovers. The two lovers they would become soon.

* * *

**_The deal is done and sealed with a kiss... I hope these two Slytherins are in character. Having such a deal for the sake of honor and protection - very Slytherin qualities in my opinion._**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	20. Lughnasadh's Eve

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**2****0 – Lughnasadh's Eve **

The book Severus had lent to Lorena contained a description of how the ritual operated. They searched in other books in Severus' library about it. They eventually found a thorough description of the ritual to perform in one of them, to complete what they already had. Apparently, they did not need a third person to perform the ritual. They could do it both together only, and do it wherever they wished to. They talked about it and felt more and more comfortable with it. They decided they would do it on the eve of the next magical date, Lughnasadh.

There were several requirements however. The girl had to carry a precious object or piece of jewelry on her. Lorena still wore the Snape medallion around her neck and suggested they could use it. Severus found her idea brilliant. He was very happy this particular jewel be part of the ritual. It would bring them luck. Moreover, that symbol of possession was most appropriate in his own judgment.

The man had to be dressed in black and the girl in white, both naked under. The ritual could be made outside or inside but it had to be performed on a square rug or mattress, itself enclosed in a pentagram. Four small fires had to be lit and placed around according to the cardinal points which they represented.

They were not very keen on doing it out in the open where they could be vulnerable. Lorena suggested they came back to Hogwarts and did it in the Room of Requirement, but that would mean telling the Headmaster about it. No doubt that Severus would have gotten Dumbledore's blessing for that. But he did not wish it to be known that he had bedded a student inside the school premises. What he did of his free time outside the school was his own business and nobody would say nothing about that – even if the lady was a Hogwarts student indeed.

Lorena could understand his point of view. Then he came up with an idea. "There's one place we could use here." He paused with a smirk on his lips. "The attic."

Lorena watched him and found his idea wonderful. "Yes, indeed, the attic. Good thinking." He took her hand in his and led her there. He had never brought her there. He had not been there in ages either.

The place was dusty and crowded. They had fourteen days left before Lughnasadh. With the help of magic, they could clean the place and arrange it quickly. Severus reduced the objects in the attic and put them in a box in a corner while Lorena cast the cleaning spell all over the place.

Then Severus conjured up a mattress from an old square rug stored in the attic. He drew a pentagram on the floor around the mattress. He placed four little cauldrons to be filled with particular plants, each one for each cardinal point, and to be placed in their respective direction. _Hawthorn_, the wishing tree, the plant decorating the nuptial chambers of the wizarding world, for the South. _Rowan_, whose berries represent life in the middle of death, and wood grants protection and good fortune, for the North. _Furze_, symbol of new love and fiery passion, also beneficial against snake-bites (_had they already thought about Lord Voldemort ?_ Lorena wondered), for the West. _Juniper_, for its foul air purifying properties and the protection it granted against Evil, for the East. Lorena showed him a spell that gave that indication, while putting her wand on her palm, the wand showing any cardinal point. He was amused by the spell.

Severus needed to be dressed with a black robe. He decided to put on one of his robes he used in class. He did not wish to wear one of his Death-Eater robes. Too much dark in intention. As for Lorena, she had to be clad in white, her dress had to be opened in the front. She took one of her nightgowns, which had a medieval style, which she cut with her wand in its full length on the front as an opening. The gown would close with the small ribbon lining the upper part of the garment. Under, around her neck, she would wear the Snape medallion. Both had to be naked under their garments.

Something was bugging Lorena though. She did not mind the attic but somehow, she felt it was not the proper place for the intended ritual. More than a hunch, a sense deep down her soul told her that this would not be the place to perform the ritual.

She raked her brains to give more flesh to her insight. She checked the books again and it dawned onto her eventually once they were manipulating the plants required for the ritual, which Severus had just brought back.

"The attic. We cannot do it in the attic," she simply said.

The Potions Master watched her, as if he had not clearly understood her statement. "Why not ?"

"Severus, we're dealing with _elemental_ magic, a magic that dates back from the most ancient times. A magic performed by people that didn't live in houses."

"I don't follow you."

_For once__ you're lagging behind_, she thought. But she kept her remark for herself. She did not wish to mock him. "People back then used to live in nature. They were in contact with nature. This magic is to be performed in a natural place, not a building."

He pondered her statement. "You're right," he said eventually. "Nature magic, we should say. We have to be in contact with nature and earth as much as possible."

"That means we have to search a place, where we would be immersed in nature, in full contact with it, without being disturbed by any human or modern or whatever interference, be they Muggle or wizarding."

"We have to think of such a place." There was no such thing in the area. Spinner's End was the very opposite of a natural site. Moreover, he could not see himself performing that ritual in full middle of the forest park nearby either. "I think I may have an idea. But I must go and see Dumbledore first for confirmation. Give me one hour, time for me to go back to Hogwarts and come back here."

"You're leaving ?" She tried to hide her anxiety but he had perceived it.

"Just one hour. No more. I'll Apparate to Hogwarts, have a chat with the Headmaster and be back. He always has good ideas for outdoor activities," he ended mockingly. "Don't worry, I'll cast the protection spells on the house and nothing will happen to you."

"I'm not afraid for _me_, Severus. I'm afraid for _you_."

Somehow, he was touched by her statement. He took her between his arms to hug her and kiss her tenderly. "I promise I'll be back. My holidays are not over."

He took his cloak and left the house quickly, after casting the most powerful and complex protection spells and wards ever on his house.

* * *

Severus was lucky. Once he had Apparated outside the Hogwarts grounds, he rushed inside the castle. Dumbledore was outside in the gardens, basking in the sunshine, sitting on a bench. Both men greeted.

"Severus ! You're already back ? You missed your dungeons too much already ? Where's Lorena ?"

"Albus… I left her at home safe. I just need your advice."

The old man smiled. Something was telling him that it regarded the young woman. "Go ahead, Severus."

The Potions Master took a deep breath – which confirmed Dumbledore in his earlier assumptions. "We… we agreed to your suggestion."

"My suggestion ?" Dumbledore decided it was time for a bit of fun, not wickedly, but still fun anyway. Severus did not notice the twinkle in the Headmaster's eyes, too busy to hide his own embarrassment.

"Yes. When you said I should do _this_ for her."

"Do what, Severus ?" Albus was having real fun now. Not every day one could see the emeritus Professor Severus Snape, the dreaded Potions Master of Hogwarts, the former Death-Eater but still close to Voldemort, the most precious spy of the Order of the Phoenix, one of the most powerful wizards of his time, blushing like a schoolboy seeking advice for his first date.

"Albus…" the younger wizard growled. "That I should take her virginity myself instead of letting the Dark Lord doing so !"

"Aaaah… I see. Good move, Severus, good move. I'm glad to hear that." He searched his pockets. "Take this, they'll help you overcome your emotions." He handed him one of those horrible lemon sweets that seemed to dwell permanently in Dumbledore's robe pockets. Severus took one anyway. "Take one for Lorena too." Severus complied, a scowl on his face.

Before Albus made any extra comments, Severus went on. "Moreover, we decided to perform the ritual that comes with that."

"You mean the ritual that Voldemort should perform with her ?"

"Yes. We found it in one of my books at home."

The Headmaster peered at him. The twinkle in his steely blue eyes had disappeared. "I hope you won't indulge in some Dark magic ritual, Severus. I know you're interested in this kind of experience."

"No, not exactly. Actually, we have no idea how the Dark Lord would have performed this ritual. No doubt he would have given it a more Dark magic tone." He thought about Albus' statement. _Indeed._ "The ritual we intend to perform is truly an elemental magic ritual, very ancient."

"Elemental magic," Albus repeated. "Interesting. That's a different perspective indeed. I know Voldemort is interested in old stuff, that's why I was asking."

"You have my word that I won't perform any Dark magic on Lor… on Miss Nottingham."

"You may call her by her first name in front of me, you know, as you seem to be on first name terms already."

Severus lowered his head like a kid caught with his both hands in the cookie jar.

"I'm glad to hear you say that, Severus. I know you'd never try such a thing on her. I suppose you came to me because you need to have a suggestion as to the place where to perform the ritual."

Severus raised his head to the old man, a scowl on his face. "Voldemort's not the only good Legilimens around, you know." The twinkle in his eyes had come back.

"Yes. We could not perform it at home… in the attic."

"Indeed. Elemental magic has to be performed the closest to the elements indeed." He thought for a while about a suitable place. "I think a cave would be nice a place, the closest to earth. I know a place not very far from here by the way. A place that had already known magic. I suspect that it was used for elemental magic rituals in the ancient times."

Both men looked at each other, their gazes locked. Albus Dumbledore was indeed a Legilimens and soon, Severus got the name and images of the place popping in his mind. "There you go. You won't be disturbed as there's no longer any path to get there. Apparating is the only way to get there now."

The Potions Master smiled at Dumbledore. "Thank you, Albus." He put a gentle hand on the old man's shoulder and left quickly the school grounds in order to Apparate back to Spinner's End.

Albus Dumbledore watched in the distance. He smiled in his long beard, his blue eyes bright. _Ah, match-making… There's nothing as such. Even the most powerful magic in the world needs a bit of help. Sometimes._

* * *

Severus came back home less than twenty minutes after leaving it, to Lorena's great relief. He found her in her bedroom, her wand in hand, ready for action. He thought she was indeed cautious even if she was blind. "Severus ?"

He came to her and took her in his arms. She sagged against his body. He took her lips for a passionate kiss that comforted her.

"Dumbledore found us a place for the ritual."

She stroked his cheek with a sweet hand. "Oh, that's great ! Where is it then ?"

He caressed her cheek in return. "Actually, not very far from Hogwarts. A cave nearby a lake, accessible only by Apparition." He was suddenly amused that she was taking all this with so much eagerness.

She must have felt his thought. "You know, in the Muggle world, unions are prepared with the utmost care and people do really enjoy spending time with their friends and family to arrange everything."

He reflected on what she had just said. She had not talked about marriage but that was what it was about. True, it was a union ritual, most likely used for marriages in ancient times. He closed down his mind to her. He had not thought about the aftermath of all this. This was not a marriage.

"I need to go down to the lab to check something." His tone told her that he wanted to be alone. She released him and he left the room, seeking refuge in the lonely abode of his potions lab.

* * *

Severus had to admit he had overlooked the issue of what would happen after he would have taken her virginity. He tried to gather the pros and cons of the situation.

She was a student, with two extra years to complete. He was her teacher. True, she was of age already, to hit 18 in a few weeks. He could marry her after. But he was 32. Though not old, but still almost twice her age. Besides, he was leading a dangerous life as a spy for Dumbledore and he could be killed any time if the Dark Lord discovered his double agent activity. He could not inflict widowhood on such a young wife. He did not want the Dark Lord to get to her in order to get to him if Voldemort discovered his betrayal.

Then, he would have to give her a contraceptive potion as he did not wish to make her pregnant. He checked his supplies and found out that he had none of it here. Of course. He never brought women at home. Lorena was the first one to have ever come to Spinner's End. Hence the house-elf's comments about their 'marriage'.

He must have had some vials of this type of products in his own office at Hogwarts but he was not sure. Usually, when he brewed some, he gave it to Mrs Pomfrey – she was in charge of welcoming the girls and enlightening them about these issues, and to fix awkward situations. This was not his job and he could not imagine girls coming up to him and ask for his help for such sensitive matters – especially after having terrorized them during his Potions class – not even Slytherin girls. This time, he could not decently ask the medi-witch or the Healer replacing her now there to give him some, that would have attracted too much attention and questions on a subject he wanted to remain discreet about at any cost.

It was too late to brew one as it required a full 28-day cycle to get it. He blamed himself for his unpreparedness. He sighed. Maybe the girl would not get pregnant after all. He remembered the description of the ritual : they would have to have sex up to the moment when there was nothing left of the special potion to be drunk that night… _That means a night I'd most likely shag her several times in a row, increasing the possibility of an impregnation…_ Well, there would be still the abortive potions. He did not like the idea but if there was no other choice. Abortion was rather frowned upon a practice in the wizarding world and there were rumors stating that the Ministry of Magic would ban it for demographic reasons.

Severus sat down to calm his nerves. Well, he was attracted to her. No, he felt good with her. No, more than that. He did not wish to leave her. She would graduate from Hogwarts in two years' time. Meaning she would leave the castle. He did not want her to leave him. He wanted to keep her for him – and him alone. His possessiveness hit him full force.

Last but not least, the girl may not wish to continue an affair with him. She considered him as his protector, his savior or whatever. She may just send him packing after he had taken her. She may not attach a lot of significance to her virginity after all. If it could just spare her a nasty encounter with the Dark Lord, well, for sure she may consider the Potions Master, her teacher, as a good option if not a good lay.

_This is just an arrangement concluded for her protection. An arrangement you both agreed together, without making any promise for the future. There's no future for us. I'm a teacher, she's one of my students. End of the story._

Severus sighed. Something in himself whispered to him he was wrong all along the line and that this end of the story did not really suit him. For the first time since ages, he was happy in his life. For the first time in his life, he decided he should let events happen and not to think about the consequences. For the first time in his life, he was tired of planning what would come ahead.

* * *

Having come to terms – or having thought he had – with his issues, Severus came back on time for the dinner. He was back to his usual careful attitude with Lorena. She was tender with him, just what he desired. A smile, a hand on his arm or cheek, a nice word, or just plain silence. A bit of music too.

She was thoroughly happy that he had found a location for the ritual. She suggested that they should store everything that was needed in the attic. She even joked that at least the place would have been cleaned and made tidy. He had to admit she was right. He would have never done it on his own.

They had collected everything they needed quickly. They spent the rest of the two weeks before Lughnasadh working together in his lab, him getting her trained at new spells, her playing some music for him. However, they had not resumed Occlumency lessons, considering their first experience as distasteful. They spent their evenings reading together, chatting between kisses, Lorena comfortably sitting on Severus' lap in his big armchair. Sometimes, they just kissed each other and he had to reckon, it was hard for him to keep a firm grip on his own lust for her. He was a man, no more a child. But he thought about the special moment that would be entirely theirs on Lughnasadh eve.

They also went through and through the ritual, with an academic discipline and eagerness, so that they could see they forgot nothing of the words or attitudes or objects needed for the ritual. Lorena was not far from thinking that while all this was serious business, the logistical side of the matter looked more like preparing for camping outdoors.

* * *

On Lughnasadh's Eve, Severus went to the attic and checked their things a last time. He had put everything in a trunk which he reduced for easy transport, before putting it in his robe pocket. Lorena got ready on her side and they soon find themselves ready to Apparate.

The moment was serious. Lorena put on her cloak as the climate in Scotland would not be that warm. She had put her wand into her right sleeve as usual. They both left the house as if they were about to go for a walk. They took the dark dead end alley which served them as a quiet place for Apparition/Disapparition.

But before entering the alley, she stopped on the pavement and turned herself towards the house a last time. She could not see it but other things were running in her mind then. When she was back, she would return as a woman.

Severus led her to the end of the alley. Like the very first time, he took her between his arms in a close embrace. She leaned against the man that would become her lover soon, her arms around his waist, her hands on his back.

"Are you ready, Lorena ?" He did not refer to the trip only.

"Yes, Severus, I am."

"Are you sure you still want this ?"

She perceived his motives. "Yes. I fully consent to this." She smiled at him and tiptoed to reach his mouth for a kiss. He kissed her back, thinking that in a few hours, all the longing, the desire and the lust he had been feeling for her since their first kiss together, would be relieved.

* * *

**_I've read somewhere on the internet that hawthorn, rowan, furze and juniper are sacred plants, with the properties given above. I found it nice to use them for the ritual. Also a fine site about wandlore and wood in general : www (dot) bardwood (dot) com (slash) woods (dot) htm_**

**_For all those out of there who are geniuses and wizards with drawing and photo-manip, please feel free to use my work to spur your imagination - just provide me with the link so that I can admire your work and leave a review for it._**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	21. The ritual Part 1

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**2****1 – The ritual, part 1**

They found themselves a few seconds later in front of a cave. The entrance was shaded with a large clump of trees. They both got their wands out but before they could enter, Lorena grabbed Severus' arm.

"This place has already known magic," she stated. "Very old, very powerful magic."

He looked at her. "How do you know that ?" Maybe she had picked up this notion from his mind.

"I just know it. I can feel it. Elemental magic."

He was pretty surprised. "Yes, elemental magic. Professor Dumbledore told me that this place may have been used for rituals in very ancient times, when it may have been still accessible by foot."

"There's something very powerful here. But it had not been used in ages. How is it around ?"

Sometimes, Severus tended to forget that she was blind. "There's a tract of forest in front of the entrance. We're not exactly on top of a hill, more at mid slope. The entrance is under the shade of a clump of trees. Let's enter the cave and see what we have here." He took her hand in his and they both entered the place.

The daylight from outside was giving a gentle lighting inside. Severus noticed that the ground was strangely flat and he concluded that indeed, the cave must have been used by humans before. He retrieved the trunk from inside his pocket, put it on the ground and gave it back its normal size.

They enjoyed the daylight to install everything they needed. The mattress reduced to enter the trunk retrieved its normal size. Then Severus drew the pentagram on the ground, setting the sacred limits around the mattress he had already installed. He conjured up a little cushion so that her head could rest comfortably during the whole ritual.

Lorena had brought the book where the ritual was thoroughly described. She was reading the steps with her wand, checking it with Severus, so that nothing would be left aside. The Potions Master was looking at her, amused. She looked like when she was brewing a potion in his class, following the exact steps of the preparation. She was thorough. No wonder she had had excellent marks in Potions at her OWLs.

He put the four small cauldrons in the direction of the four cardinal points, directions given by Lorena's wand and the spell she had taught him to get the directions. He filled them with the required plants, which would slowly burn in a mix of oils during the ritual. Lorena lit the fires under each cauldron. As they were supposed to burn all night long, they were very gentle but enough to provide a warm glow all over the place. A smell of plants soon wafted in the cave and they both agreed that the four plants burning separately but at the same place, gave a final odor that could not be described but that smelled pleasant.

Soon dusk took the place of day. Everything was in place. They were to get ready. Severus took out the chalice that would contain the potion required for the ritual, a potion referred to in the book as the Elixir. It had been easy and quick to prepare and he had done so in advance. Yet, one ingredient was missing, which would be added later on. He poured it in the chalice from a vial he had stored in the trunk. He put the chalice nearby the mattress. Beside it, he also stored a little heap of fresh hazel leaves. To collect the last missing ingredient.

Then the sun set and Severus took Lorena's hands in his. "Lughnasadh eve has just begun. The sun is set." He paused. "Lorena, do you still want this ? With me ?" He had not gotten a woman in ages. Knowing himself – both in terms of morphology and bed manners – he was not sure a virgin would be able to put up with his maleness and his lust… He could hurt her. Well, it could not be worse than what Voldemort had in stock for her actually.

She could not see him physically but her empty pale gray eyes seemed to bore into his own gaze. "I do." Her tone was serious, yet sensual, like a bride giving her consent, knowing beforehand the delights awaiting her in the nuptial chamber. Her eyes were glittering. It sent chills down Severus' spine.

She must have perceived something from him though. "And you, Severus ? Do you want it too ?"

His dark gaze bore at her with equaling smoldering eyes, even if he knew she could not see him. He looked at her, from head to toe. She was a virgin, she was beautiful. She was all the more willing. How could he say no ? No Slytherin, in his right mind, would say 'no'.

This was no ordinary union though. Severus knew he risked his life by taking the girl the Dark Lord had intended to have for him. He knew how her life would end. He could not imagine a single second her sufferings – while well aware that the Dark Lord would surely ask him to be a witness thereof. He could not let it end like this. He just could not.

From the very dark depths of his soul, Severus felt something struggling its way up to the surface. A faint light. He did not know how to call it – compassion, empathy, love ? He did not know. But he knew one thing. He would do everything in his power to avoid her the most terrible fate that could befall a young virgin witch.

"Yes, I do. I want it too, Lorena. I really do," he replied with a low, soft caressing, yet serious, voice.

He could feel she took his hand in hers. A little smile curled up her lips. No doubt that she could feel things through the physical contact. But Severus did not care. "Then let's get ready ourselves," he whispered.

He led her by the trunk where they removed their garments. He was in his usual black attire and he removed everything to put on his naked body the billowing black robe he used in class. He deemed it fitted best his true personality. He was not a Death-Eater. He was not here to have fun with a virgin girl, just like the Death-Eaters did sometimes when they caught a Muggle girl. No. He felt he was more like a teacher, an initiator of some sorts. In any case, he felt more in accordance with his Hogwarts persona rather than with his Dark Lord's follower attitude.

Lorena had removed her cloak and green gown she put in the trunk, along with Severus' garments. She just kept the white gown she had put under, which was open on the front. She wore no underwear at all but managed to keep covered. He would soon notice anyway. She put her hand between her breasts and felt the Snape medallion hanging under her gown. A small grin curled her lips with satisfaction.

Severus too was naked under his robe and like Lorena, he preferred to keep his black robe closed on his nudity – though he knew she could not see him. Good that she could not see him. She may have fled. His cock was huge now, throbbing with desire and lust. He had to reckon he was hungry for her.

The four cauldron fires now gave a dim light, both intimate but enough for him to see her. He took her hand in his and led her in front of the mattress. He took the chalice in his hand. He gave it to her for her to drink from it. "Take a sip. Only a sip." She complied. He took a sip too of the Elixir after she had given him the chalice back. He put the chalice nearby the mattress, within easy reach for later use. The Elixir was part of the ritual and was supposed to enhance their receptivity to each other. Well, Severus had said nothing to the young woman but he suspected it was an aphrodisiac of some sorts.

They kissed each other, tasting the Elixir again on each other's tongue and lips. It was good, so good… even better as such on their mouths.

Once they were done with the Elixir, Lorena laid herself, careful to remain covered all the time. She was lying, her legs on the ground, stuck against each other. She was a bit afraid, anxious, nonetheless. He knelt by her and gave her her wand, which she held in her left hand, then his own, which she took in her right hand. She crossed her arms over her chests, like an Egyptian goddess. She was beautiful.

The ritual had begun.

From the look on her face, Severus could tell she was apprehensive of what was to happen in the next minutes. He found her brave though, as she did her best not to show her anxiety, in a true Slytherin fashion. _She has good reasons to be afraid,_ he thought. _Once she has a taste of how I am hung… _With a bit of luck, the Elixir would help her go through this.

Lorena waited for a moment on the mattress before she felt Severus straddling her. He took her hands gently in his, lifted them from her chest to have them resting above her head, wrists touching the ground. The two wands were crossing each other, ebony against ebony. He wondered a second or two if the fact their wands were identical in wood and core would enhance the magic or cancel it. He choose to believe the former. "We have to keep them in contact with each other that way during the whole ritual, Lorena." She just smiled at him in agreement. The Elixir was already at work in her system. She could not see him but she felt as if she could see him, even in the dark.

Severus moved from his straddling position. Lorena really felt anxious now. She had felt his hot bulge on her belly when he had straddled her. It seemed heavy, it could mean only one thing : it was big. She swallowed discreetly. The crucial moment was approaching fast. Fortunately, the Elixir she had just drunk from was slowly inhibiting any anxiety and she began to feel high. Quietly high, but high anyway.

He was no longer straddling her. But she could feel his presence close. Two hands soon took her ankles and spread her legs gingerly. Then the two hands went up her calves, her knees, her thighs, to spread her legs even more. She closed her eyes in appreciation. His hands were not warm – they were burning. Most likely the Elixir, again.

On his side, Severus began to feel high too. He was hard. Rock hard. He was aware this was probably due to the Elixir, combined to his own desire for her soon to be released, and the fact he had not had a woman in a long time. The Elixir was certainly designed to enhance lust but like Lorena, he felt high, strangely, quietly high. The Elixir, though simple to make, seemed to combine the power of an aphrodisiac and the effect of a relaxing potion.

But this was not the only reason. He had opened her white gown, pulling on the ribbon at the top. He was taken aback. There she laid, naked, beautiful. He took in the view, utterly raptured by her beauty, more than he would have conceded first. Of course, he had suspected she was shapely, when he held her tight against him. But to that extent….

Her skin was soft and warm. She shivered under his touch. Severus felt his own male flesh throbbing under his robe. But he had enough self-control not to rush. He wanted to take his time, so that she could have a real good time – and not be hurt too much, though he knew this would be unavoidable. His hands were now on her thighs. Long time he had not had a woman but he had promised himself he would be careful and gentle with her as much as possible. As for hurting her, well… he could not guarantee anything in this regard.

Severus opened his robe so that his body would be in full contact with hers. He laid himself almost on her, one leg between her thighs, his mouth taking hers, while his hand found her womanhood and began to caress it. He felt she shivered and whimpered in the kiss, in her response to him. He intensified both kiss and caress. He went on as such for long minutes, his fingers stroking her expertly yet delicately. He could feel she was indeed a virgin. She moaned. When she was wet and ready for the taking, he stopped and directed his attention elsewhere on her body.

Severus took one of her breasts in his hand, while his tongue drew trails of fire on the other. She gasped for air, so much the caress was breathtaking. What was frustrating for Lorena, was that she had to keep her arms above her head on the ground, their wands crossed, while she wanted to touch him desperately. That was part of the ritual – an essential part of it.

Severus continued to kiss her nipples, her belly, to reach her womanhood eventually. His tongue continued the work of his fingers before and Lorena felt she was going over the edge. She could not move but she could moan and she did so, first like a breath, then a whisper, to end up a loud cry. Her breath was heavy too, under the sensations he gave her. The ritual gave no indication as how the couple should perform to get aroused, except for the position during the mating.

"Oh, Severus…" she rasped. She could not say more. He stopped his daring caress. He came back to her lips which he took in a fiery kiss, killing her moans before they could even make it to her mouth.

"I'm going to take you, Lorena," he said gently. _I can't hold it any longer now._

"Oh, please… Severus… please…" she said softly. He was about to ask her consent for the last time but the plea in her voice stopped him. He just remained silent. He inserted himself between her legs that had spread themselves more during his previous caress as if to welcome him. He was now completely lying over her body. As the ritual required it, he took Lorena's fists in his hands, so that they could clasp both wands together.

She spread her legs more to welcome him. For a virgin, she was eager to keep up. He even thought that she was not so shy. Well, with his huge cock, she had better. But still the particular atmosphere and the Elixir were at work. He had also felt she desired him somehow, when they kissed and hugged each other before.

Severus kissed her again, his tongue searching her mouth, playing a sensual game with hers. Lorena felt she lost a hold on reality in general. Only the man on top of her, the connection between them about to deepen, and the ritual, were important.

"Take me, Severus, take me…" he heard her whisper between kisses.

His cock was at her entrance. Severus secured his position as he would have to enter her quick with one definitive thrust. He could not release her wrists to guide himself into her. She could feel its warmth, its hardness, between her thighs. "I'm going to take you now, Lorena," he said softly. He had laid himself on her, opening his robe, so that his whole body was in contact with hers. He was rock-hard now and once more he blessed her blindness that she had not seen him naked. He was well hung, his cock pointed forward like a wand. A very thick wand. A wand meant for pleasure.

Severus made sure he had a firm grip on her wrists. He did not know what her reaction could be when he deflowered her. She was wet, thanks to his ministrations but all the same. "It's going to hurt you a bit but after that… it'll be alright."

"I know you won't hurt me, Severus," she said. "I trust you."

_I won't hurt you but my cock will_. "I'll be gentle, I'll be careful." He knew he would not be. He knew it would hurt her but at the same time, the more she bled, the better for the ritual.

Severus kissed her again, his lips going down her neck for extra arousal from her. She loved when he kissed her there. He felt she shivered and moaned from the caress. Without warning, he thrust inside her at this very second. His cock met the resistance. Her maidenhood broke under the ruthlessly tearing assault.

A powerful scream filled the cave as Severus sheathed himself inside her tightness, forcefully yet as gently as possible. Her body arched under his in an attempt to disentangle itself from him under pain. He had been right to get a firm grip on her hands. But not a single second the two wands parted.

Severus kissed her on her cheeks, her lips, her eyes. He felt her tears under his mouth and as he could not dab her eyes with his hands, he just did so with his kisses. Her tears had a salty taste he enjoyed - unexpectedly. He could hear her breathing hard under him out of pain. He did not move once inside her. He felt she quieted down after a few minutes.

Lorena did not say a word, did not even let go of a complaint or sobs, against his somewhat brutal deflowering. There had been only that scream and her tears, from the searing pain in her belly. He comforted her with gentle words, his deep, silky voice as soothing as ever. She calmed down and he raised his head. He had perceived light in the cave while the sun has set for good.

A faint light first, was slowly floating around. Severus was sure he had not cast the Patronus Charm, as the light looked like it. He looked at where the light was coming from. The two wands. It looked like a Patronus indeed, save the light was golden, not silvery. There was no specific shape but a flow of energy was obviously coming out of the two wands, forming a golden, sparkling cloud getting bigger and bigger.

Severus gasped. The ritual worked. Now the cloud was bigger and thicker, spreading above them like a canopy above their bodies. _Is this elemental magic ?_ he wondered. He had seen many things in magic but never something like this – and he had seen a lot between the Dark Lord and Albus Dumbledore...

The protective cloud lied above them. A gut feeling told Severus that the cloud thickness and brightness depended on the powerful bond between the man and the woman lying under.

He was still motionless inside Lorena. "Lorena, how do you feel ?" he asked softly. He felt bad because he knew he could have been more careful and gentle when he had deflowered her.

"I'm… I'm alright…" she whispered. "Severus ?" He felt her question. He felt her mind requesting entrance into his. He could not deny it to her, the cloud was quite a sight. She had a right to see as she was responsible for half of it.

"You may enter, so that you may see. It's…" For once, the Potions Master was at a loss for words. He knew she would see it through her inner eye once in his mind. He soon felt her sweet presence in his mind. She had seen it as he felt her gasp.

"Oh… Severus…" Her moaning his given name so softly only aroused him more.

He moved in her gently. "Does it still hurt ?"

"No… the pain… is gone," she said with a smile on her lips. He also felt she was spreading her thighs more, in a welcoming invitation to go further.

"Let me give you then what a woman is entitled to receive from a man."

Severus moved in her, first slowly, gingerly. His thrusts grew more and more powerful though, as desire claimed him. He pushed himself in her, more and more, up to the moment he felt he was fully in her, to the hilt. He was surprised that she had managed to take his cock inside her with its whole length and girth. "Oh, Lorena…" he sighed deeply, as deeply buried as he was now in her.

"I want to make you scream, Lorena…" he said between two thrusts. "I want to hear you scream my name when you come…" Her moans went louder as she was progressing in pleasure with him. Every time she thought she had reached the summit, she discovered she could move on up higher and higher. He joined her in her sacred chant of pleasure, his own loud grunt and groans punctuating each of his thrusts in her.

Unexpectedly, the crescendo of their pleasure was sounding in her mind like a thousand string instruments playing the '_Adagio for Strings_', in all its blazing splendor. Their joy sounded like that for her and Lorena knew at this very moment, that she could never play that piece again like she used to do so before.

Severus went deep into her, at a faster pace, each time thinking she would go over the edge. She was still asking for more, her thighs now clasped around his waist in a tight embrace, clinging to the two wands in her hands, fighting mercilessly her urge to let go of them to touch him, feeling the magical energy flowing from her and his hands, passing through the wands to form the radiantly brilliant cloud enveloping their bodies like a golden dome.

Because they had both perceived that the cloud was the emanation of their magical energy triggered off by the sexual pleasure they felt together. Their mental bond deepened too. Severus did not need to resort to Legilimency to enter her mind – he was in it already like he was in her physically. He realized he had entered it because he was in a most intimate physical contact with Lorena. He had never been a contact telepath but now he would have sworn he was. As if he had been given a part of her abilities.

They could perceive in their minds the waves of pleasure coming from the other and it made the sexual intercourse even more intense, pleasure fueling pleasure. Severus had never felt anything like this before, with any woman. She was a virgin, sure it would be even more wonderful when he taught her every thing he knew in terms of sex. All the same. It was the first time he experienced such a thing.

Lorena arched against him as waves of pleasure crashed over her like a furious ocean. With her innocence, she had lost her awkwardness. She was sensual and even promised to become a love goddess. The last levee of her mind broke and the tidal wave of orgasm swept over her with a devastating force.

"SE… VE… RUS… SEV !" His given name filled the cave, leaving an echo as she screamed out loud when she came. Hearing her shouting his name as she was raptured by orgasm, just pushed him over the edge. He thrust hard in her several times, before releasing his seed in hot spurts for long seconds.

"LORENA… !" he cried out loud on his turn, when he lost control. He could not longer feel his heart in his chest so much it was beating wild. "Lorena… Lorena… Lorena…"

He sagged on her, trying to catch his breath. He watched his young lover whose lips had parted in search of air too. Unless she was asking for a kiss. He happily obliged, very sweetly, very tenderly. Then he looked at her. Pleasure had rendered her even more beautiful. But there was something changed in her gaze. Her pale gray eyes had deepened in hue. Their emptiness had disappeared, leaving place to a joy he had never suspected it could exist. For long seconds, Severus even thought that she had recovered her sight.

* * *

**_Hope you are not too much disappointed. Feel free to tell me. More lemons to come ! Things are picking up between Severus and Lorena._**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	22. The ritual Part 2

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**2****2 – The ritual, part 2**

Severus had removed himself from her. Despite they were no longer making love, the golden cloud above them was still there, shining with a radiance that gave the impression that the sun himself had relocated inside the cave – though it was the night outside.

Something else was glowing too. When Severus leaned towards Lorena to kiss her breasts, he noticed that the Snape medallion was shining with a particular glitter on her chest. He touched it and it was warm without burning. The skin around was normal. Its metal was just glowing warmly and the green gems designing the 'S' were glittering green even more. Severus only registered the fact. He did not understand that part. _So much mystery…_

The Potions Master's attention came back to the ritual. They just had completed the first part of it. The deflowering. Once he felt steady, he straddled Lorena, reminding her to keep her arms crossed and both wands still in contact with each other. Then he moved towards the lower part of her body. He spread her thighs to examine her. There was light enough around so he could see that she had bled.

She had bled a lot indeed. Severus glanced at his cock and found blood there too. He knew she was a virgin, he could have been more gentle. _But how can I be so, with what nature has endowed me with ? I'm hung like a hippogriff, it could not be otherwise…_ He felt sorry for her, though he knew that she had enjoyed sex – even for a first time.

He took a leaf of hazel and began to collect the blood first on himself. The more he had, the better for the Elixir. He used two or three more leaves on himself, which he dropped in the chalice. Then he turned his attention to Lorena.

Her thighs were wide open. Blood had flown inside her thighs. Severus wiped it there, still using the hazel leaves. His fingers on her skin were very gentle. He was looking at her face, waiting for any reaction. There was none. She just let him do, without even wincing. He found her brave to endure pain like this. He did not wish to give her a pain-killing potion as it could interfere with the Elixir.

"I'm sorry, Lorena…" He began to say in a low voice. Would it not be for her acute sense of hearing, she would not have heard him.

"Don't be sorry, Severus. It's part of the ritual. This is how it is meant to be." She had spoken with a soft yet firm voice. A determined voice that surprised him. "You had to do it like this, if we wanted to have as much virgin blood as possible for the Elixir." She was right. So Slytherin. "I'm glad it was _you_," she said after a pause. Her voice had changed as if another person had talked in her stead. It was a whisper. He heard it anyway but remained silent.

Severus went on. Now his fingers were on her genitals, collecting the blood there and throwing the stained leaves in the chalice. The once light amber liquid was now darkening as more blood was added. The Potions Master was pleased with the outcome as he glanced at it.

"I'm done, Lorena," he said soberly. "The Elixir is complete now." He stirred the liquid in the chalice with a small branch of hazelwood he had prepared for that purpose. That way, it would not alter the mix.

Once he was satisfied with the preparation, Severus helped Lorena to raise her head from the cushion so that she could take a sip of the Elixir without gagging. "Just one sip." Actually there was not much in the chalice and it had to be taken a sip at a time. One for her, one for him. When she was done, the Potions Master took a sip on his turn.

The taste had changed with the addition of the virgin blood. The Elixir had a metallic taste now due to the blood in it. Lorena had not winced at it. Severus even found it… tasty. He had brewed more revolting potions before.

He put the chalice nearby the mattress. Once more, he felt he was taken by lust. His maleness was throbbing again. In less than a few minutes, he would be rock hard again. He looked at her body. She seemed to relax as the Elixir was released into her system.

Severus looked at her body, her legs widespread. He was about to insert himself in between when an idea came to his mind. A weird idea – some would have even said a twisted idea.

He knelt down between her legs, even bowed in front of her thighs. He lifted one to his face. He approached his lips to the skin and kissed it. It was soft and it smelled blood. Her virgin blood. It tasted good in the Elixir. He began to lick her there, where some blood had began to dry up. Sure it was tasty. _Going vampire, Severus ?_ he thought, amused. No. He was not. Only the taste of _her_ drew him to do that. That was simple. He wanted to have all of her, up to the last drop.

After licking the blood remaining on one thigh, he did the same on the other thigh. He glanced at the girl he had just made a woman of. She seemed to relax under both the action of the Elixir and his daring caress. _Good. It'll give her time to recover from that first intercourse. Because it won't be the last._ He was hard again, blood pulsing in his maleness.

Severus had not finished with his ministrations though. His mouth went to her womanhood. He began to lick her there gently. There was still blood there. He also could smell and taste her juices, along with his semen. The whole mix provided a unique blend of savors and flavors. He went on licking her, his tongue teasing her clit, exciting her to the point she was moaning out loud now, writhing herself as she was en route towards rapture, pleasure taking the best of her. He was so good at it. She was wet again, ready for his maleness to enter her again. Ready for the taking.

"Severus… Severus…" she called him softly. "Please…" He raised his head to her. "I want you…" she said as if she had heard his unsaid question. She had in sort of. She was still bonded to him telepathically.

He went on though. He wanted her to come before taking her again, despite his own body protesting he should claim her right now. She soon screamed out loud her pleasure. A throaty moan stronger, deeper than the others, then his given name dying on her lips, informed him that she had come. He stopped and laid his tall frame on her. He took her mouth in a fiery kiss, which she responded to with equal fire.

She was still in the aftermath of her orgasm. This time, she would be in for quite a ride. As soon as he had enclosed her wrists in his hands, Severus entered her with a brutal thrust again, but this time she did not scream out of pain. Her scream was laced with pleasure instead.

Severus was going to and fro in her, pinning her under him with his whole weight, impaling her to his maximum to give her pleasure, his lust taking command of her – and of him. She writhed under his body, her mouth open to ask for more, even if no intelligible sound could make it outside, except his given name.

She was in his mind and he was in hers. Through the bond they now shared, he could feel her want of him. She could feel his too. She surrendered herself to him wholly, unconditionally, totally. He dominated her and he liked that. He discovered that she liked it too and was claiming for more from him. She was no longer afraid of the physical harm he could inflict on her with his own body. At the same time, he felt all his cravings for a woman were utterly satisfied with that woman in particular. She was the embodiment of everything he wanted in a woman. He felt good with her during sex, not only because he was drawing an intense pleasure from her tight, wet cavern, but also because he knew she would follow him in his desire, going all the way to the end with him to the limits of his own lust.

They were both groaning and moaning out loud. His grunts responded to her screams in a shared pleasure, filling the cave with the sacred chant of blissful sexual joy.

The golden cloud above their bodies grew bigger to the point it was now forming a tent all over the mattress inside the limits set by the pentagram. It has grown in intensity too. Now the whole cave was bathed by a bright yet sweet light. Severus could see his young lover's face and body, as if he was making love with her in full sun at noon in summer. She was beautiful in her orgasms. Because she had climaxed twice while he was in her before, he let go of his control and expelled his seed in her for long seconds of a release that had seemed to him like he had skyrocketed directly into Heaven.

Severus sagged on her, breathless, burying his face in her raven hair, his own dark hair spreading on her face. Lorena welcomed the soft caress of his hair on her skin like a sweet feather teasing her senses. They were so thin and silky, she wished she could touch them now. She loved to caress them, combing them with her agile fingers. But she was patient. There would be other times when she could do so once all this was over.

Severus moved to look at her again. She could not see him but she had felt his move and he could have sworn that she was watching him.

"Lorena… can you see me ?" he asked, giving in to his curiosity.

"Yes… through the bond… Why do you ask ?"

His gaze on her became intense. "So you can't see… physically I mean."

"No," she whispered. "Why do you ask ?"

"Your eyes… they look like they were watching me as if you could see." He was under the impression that her eyes were alive.

"No, Severus, I can't see physically. But I don't mind." Her voice had a dreamy tone. "As long as we are bonded together, I can see you." She smiled at him and he felt her smile like a thousand of suns shining in his mind. He kissed her amorously, his tongue claiming hers in a possessive move. He could feel through the bond that she wanted to grab him like mad but she clung to her resolve and to the two wands.

"Are you fine ? You must be sore staying in that position."

"No, Severus, I feel so high. Don't worry." Her voice was still dreamy.

"I do care, Lorena."

"I know. I know how much and deep you care, Severus." Her voice had something sensual that he had never heard before. Especially when she spoke his given name.

"Let me give you another sip of the Elixir," he said gently. He was moved by her, more than he would have thought, more than he would have shown. He helped her, lifting her head so that she could drink. Then, he took another sip of the Elixir.

The ritual required that they kept on making love as long as there was enough left for them to sip from the chalice. Due to the particular nature of the Elixir, the woman was to sip from it first. The Potions Master was more and more convinced that the Elixir provided different effects whether it was absorbed by a man or a woman. He was intrigued by the substance. True he had prepared it for the ritual. He had not had time to give more thoughts about its properties. Obviously, the Elixir was meant to have a relaxing effect on women, and a lust effect on men. Whether the type of metabolism it was in contact with, the Elixir switched to one or the other effect. The only thing affecting both men and women equally, was that it enhanced the receptivity to each other during sexual activity. Surely an interesting Elixir to study. Severus promised himself he would do so once he was back to his lab at home. Moreover, he had first hand experience with it, as well as Lorena.

Severus dared not imagine what it would happen to him if he had drunk more than a sip of the Elixir. The book about the ritual specified that only one sip be taken at a time. There was a purpose. If drunk in too large quantities, it could be dangerous. Especially for the woman if the man drank too much of it in one single time… Though the Elixir belonged to elemental magic, it remained indeed very powerful. Verily, that Elixir was really worth time spent over it in the lab.

Soon the Elixir was having his grip over them again. Severus felt his cock was hard again, asking for release. He looked at Lorena, her empty pale gray gaze was now filled with a lustful glaze that said it all. She wanted him badly, he could read that in her eyes. Maybe the Elixir increased her lust for him too. Unless… No, it was not the Elixir. It was a lust generated by her, and herself alone. She lusted for him, as much he lusted for her.

The discovery turned him on immediately. Severus clasped her wrists and he entered her again with a powerful thrust. As much as he did not wish to resort to force with Lorena – which was not needed as she was all the more consenting – he could not help thinking it was pleasurable.

"Lorena… Lorena… I feel like… an animal… in rut," Severus whispered to her as he thrust deeply in her. He groaned out of pleasure. He enjoyed that animal part of him – him, of all men, ever so much in control of himself. He felt he was deep down in connection with his animal nature indeed. A side of him he was discovering too.

"Me too… That's the power… of elemental magic…" she managed to utter between cries of pleasure.

"I… like… that…" he said. "Taking you… like that… you're… my doe…"

"I like… it too… you're… my stag… Severus…" she replied before their lips met for a passionate kiss. "Shag me hard !" she cried. "Severus !" The way she screamed his given name was so sensual, it turned him on even more than he was already.

However animal their physical union may have seemed, Severus felt good with her and because of her. She was asking for more each passing thrust and he was eager to give her what she wanted from him. She wanted him as he was, fully.

Rape was not much his taste. Before going to the Revels organized by the Dark Lord, Severus always drunk a vial-ful of an impotency potion. So far so bad for his own dignity to be labeled as impotent by the other Death-Eaters and the Dark Lord himself amid general laughter, than to use his tool as a weapon against innocent women. He was built for giving pleasure. Not for inflicting pain.

But with Lorena… Severus felt she could go so far with him, explore those limits in him left unknown. She took him wholly, surrendering to him without conditions. He became suddenly aware there were not too many women like her. Some have fled from him once they had seen his maleness, too much afraid of it and what it could do to them. Those who had not fled, had stayed to enjoy his huge cock only. Not his other talents such as conversation or knowledge, even less his dark humor. None of them had wished to stay with him for the sake of him only. Most of those who had stayed with him, had done so because he had paid them. No disappointment with prostitutes.

Severus was sure of one thing now. Lorena belonged to neither category. She was now in the pangs of lust, true, but she had displayed so much interest in him before the ritual. She enjoyed his presence and more. The good times spent with her at Hogwarts and Spinner's End came back to him in a flash. He had even detected then a feeling he could track back to affection. A strong feeling for him was now coming from her soul as he was in her mind. Now, during lovemaking, her lust had something tender and sweet.

This time, Severus would give her the real deal. A rough ride indeed. But he conjured up in his mind all the positive images of tenderness, care and affection he could, so that they could shower on her soul like rain on a dry land. His kisses would be as sweet on her lips as his cock was hard in her.

Lorena felt it and perceived all this through their bond. "Severus…" she whispered lovingly. His given name in her mouth was like a caress on his torn soul. Actually, she loved his dual nature, that unique mix of violence and sweetness, brutality and care, coldness and attention, a blend that belonged to Professor Severus Snape only, a mélange only the Hogwarts Potions Master could brew for her and give her. He was unique – and he was there for her only.

This time, they came together in a flash of light that exited from the two wands and joined the sparkling dome above them. They intuitively gathered that the light was thus fueled by their desire, their lust, their physical union and their mental bond.

Surely the feelings they had for each other were also responsible for it in greater parts. But they were probably not ready to admit it yet.

* * *

They made love till the last drop of Elixir in the chalice was drunk. That was, five more times. Severus got the last sip of it. They thought that the effect would wear off them each passing round. But that was not the case. Severus was still rock hard, even for the last intercourse, as hard as he was for when he had deflowered Lorena earlier in the night. As for the young woman, she should have felt very sore, after being deflowered the way she had been, especially with a demanding lover like Severus. Instead, she was still aching out of desire for him, not feeling the least bit tired, her lust for him even increasing. Surely the Elixir had several effects in time. Severus had found it simple to prepare but he was amazed by its complex properties. Surely an interesting field of research there.

When they were done with the last intercourse, they heard a bird singing in the distance. Though Severus had cast a silencing charm on the cave – so that nobody could hear them from outside – they could still hear sounds from the forest nearby. They had no idea of what time it could be but Lorena told him that dawn was not far. When Severus asked her how she knew that, she just replied the bird had just said it. She had been able to understand it through her connection to nature, thanks to her elemental magic. The display of elemental magic they have had, had amplified not only their own intimate bond but also the connection all living creatures shared on this Earth.

This was a part of magic totally unknown to Severus. In this regard, Lorena knew more than him. At least intuitively. She had loved to be in nature since she had been a young child and she had experienced that connection very early, without explaining it. That was part of her weirdness. However she had learned to use it. She could communicate with animals in general. Her grandmother used to resort to her to get rid of spiders, ants and other creatures at home. Lorena just needed to tell them to go away and find another house and they left. Wherever other children felt the need to harm animals, she defended them, with her innate love of every living being. People did not like this but she did not care as animals and plants loved her – well, they felt they were safe with someone like her around.

Unlike Severus and most other powerful wizards who used a magic generated by their own mental energy, Lorena used the magic generated by her body and nature around her, besides her psychokinetic abilities. This way she could use wandless magic. Of course, years in Hogwarts had taught her how to use magic through her wand, mastering little by little the energy produced by her mind – though psychokinesis was a great help to her. Though her magic came from a different origin, yet it remained extremely powerful. Nature constituted the huge reservoir which Lorena tapped in to produce her magic, therefore her abilities were almost boundless. That was why she had puzzled the teachers during her first year. These were the powers that Lord Voldemort was after. That was why the Dark Lord wanted that ritual with her – there was no better way to get elemental magic than mating with a virgin elemental witch during a typical elemental virginity ritual.

In the mean time, Severus and Lorena were together in each other's arms, the effect of the Elixir slowly wearing off. Though they had been over with sex, the golden dome above them still shone brightly in the cave. Severus had thought it would stop when he had relieved Lorena from holding the two wands together. She had held them so tightly that her knuckles were white. She could not feel her hands any longer. Severus had difficulties in helping her release the two wands. Besides, both wands were hot too, as if too much energy had flown through them. She let go of them after long minutes spent massaging her fingers and wrists.

Having kept her arms resting on the ground above her head should have left sore with painful shoulders and a sore back. But Lorena did not feel as such. Probably another effect of the Elixir. Severus should have felt sore too after all these rounds… but he did not. He was secretly convinced that he could have gone on like this till the next sunrise had the chalice contained more of the Elixir. He was sure that Lorena would have followed him too in his desire and lust.

Suddenly, he realized that he could no longer study the Elixir. There was no more left and the main ingredient was missing. Virgin blood. He sighed. So far so bad. Well, he may still work on the Elixir as he had prepared it before virgin blood was added but that may not prove entirely satisfactory.

The wands had broken contact but the golden dome was still above their bodies. " elemental magic is very persistent, Severus," Lorena told him with a soft voice. She had felt his question through their bond.

"I think you could use some sleep now, don't you think ?"

"And you ? Are you asleep yourself ?" she asked him, teasing in her voice.

Severus looked at her. "You want some more, don't you ?" He could not believe it. She was his perfect match.

She blushed. "Yes… but if you're tired, I'll just be as happy if you take me in your arms, Severus."

He had to admit he was a bit spent. But he still had some of the Elixir running in his blood. He still had a hard-on claiming to be satisfied. He could not resist the young woman under him opening her legs so that he could take her. He pushed inside of her and for the first time, Lorena could caress her lover's hair, face and body during lovemaking.

"Let me _feel_ you, Severus…" Her fingers touched his forehead, his eyebrows, his eyes, his cheeks, his nose, his lips, his chin, his cheeks again, to finish delicately on his jaw line. Her hands caressed his hair, soft and thin as silk threads. Emotion could be clearly read on her face. She was moved beyond description. "You're… you're so sweet… so handsome," she whispered.

On his turn, Severus traced her cheek line with his agile fingers. "You're beautiful… Lorena," he whispered. "And so good, kind, gentle, caring… even with someone like me." _So sensual…_

Severus was thrusting in her but slowly, gently, tenderly. It was good to make love that way too – though he enjoyed more a raunchy, even rough, ride. It came to his mind that he should have taken like this the very first time. Too late now and she had enjoyed his manners anyway. He kissed her deeply, his tongue playing with hers in a sensual game which turned them on.

She broke the kiss. Her hands had left his face and hair. She seemed hesitant. "Can I… Can I touch you ?" she asked in a whisper.

Severus looked at her. "Yes, you may touch me," he said gently. He took her hands in his and put them on around him. "You may touch me anywhere." He had not much opportunity to touch her during sex as he was supposed to hold her wrists. He realized he craved for it. "Let me touch you, Lorena," he said in his turn, his hands caressing her body, one on her thigh, the other sliding under her shoulders, plunging towards her mane of raven hair.

"There's so much to experiment, Lorena…" He kissed her deeply, thrusting deeply in her. He felt she was grabbing his back, a moan on her lips.

"Will you teach me, _Professor ?_" she asked him with a hint of fun in her voice. That would be funny indeed.

He smiled at her question. "I'd be delighted to. You have so much to learn, you promise to be such a good student… If you have the same eagerness, the same enthusiasm, than you have displayed so far at Hogwarts, I'm sure the outcome will be... _outstanding_. I'll be happy. Very happy."

She smiled at the comparison. It would be funny indeed to have him for very particular lessons...

"I want to make you happy, Severus," Lorena said all the more seriously before taking his mouth for a sensual kiss.

He said nothing more. He was already happy. He went on pleasing her with his cock inside her, pounding harder and harder. He felt her fingers slightly scratching the skin on his back. She screamed her pleasure and climaxed quickly, him following suit, his lips on hers, his tongue in her mouth, possessing her there as sure as his maleness possessed her whole body.

They sagged in each other's arms, feeling that this time, they had really made love together. Lorena coiled against Severus, while he was spreading his black robe above their bodies, so that they did not catch cold. Soon they felt asleep, eventually exhausted and sated – for the time being.

Above their bodies, the canopy of light was slowly fading away, very slowly. Severus admired its radiance. His heart was filled with something he had not felt in ages – if ever. He could not name it – or rather, he did not wish to name it – but he just let go and allowed himself happiness be bestowed on him like a blessing, while holding Lorena tight against him.

* * *

**_Don't ask me the recipe of the Elixir - I don't have it ! Feel free to tell me if you did like it or not. I'm sure Severus and Lorena did however... ;-))_**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	23. Elemental magic vs Dark magic

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**23 – Elemental magic vs. Dark magic**

Severus was aware of the way Lorena's magic operated though, as was Dumbledore. And the Dark Lord. Now a part of Voldemort's plan was foiled – thanks to the Potions Master's and the girl's union. But danger was still there. Now they were somehow bonded, Severus and Lorena were in first line for the Dark Lord's wrath.

He woke up first. Outside the sun was up. He remembered where he was, what he had done on the night before. With whom. He looked at the young woman coiled against him. Above their bodies, the golden light dome had disappeared eventually.

He sighed. It had been a wonderful time. A time forever carved in his flesh and his memory. He had loved every minute of it. He had not had a woman for ages and it seemed that the last night had compensated him tenfold, a hundredfold, if not more, as if all the lonely nights had disappeared from his memory. He was no longer alone.

She was there, bonded to him.

Lorena was still sleeping peacefully in his arms, in complete abandon. She trusted him so much. She was probably the only person in the whole world to trust him so fully – apart from Dumbledore.

Severus felt hungry now. Their last meal was about… well, most likely 24 hours ago. They had not eaten last night, they were both too nervous for that. Besides, the elixir seemed to have provided for that, fulfilling them with an unknown energy.

He got up. Now in the light of the day, he could see the remains of her virginity on their bodies and her gown. Stains of blood on her white dress. Drops of blood now dried between her thighs and on his maleness. He watched her, feeling sorry for shedding her blood. But he remembered her moans of pleasure and he quickly chased these thoughts of his away. He had made her happy. She had loved making love with him – much more than he had thought she would for a first time.

At this moment, Lorena woke up and rose from the mattress. "Severus," she called gently, feeling he was around.

"Here."

She turned her head towards the sound of his deep, silky voice, a grin on her lips. Her hands slightly forwards, her white gown still on her back, opened in the front which left her body to see, she came to him. "How do you feel now ?" she asked, concern in her voice.

"Fine. Are you hungry ?"

"A bit. But before that, I think I'm going to have a bath. I can hear a spring in the cave." It was faint but her acute hearing had heard it indeed. "It's located at the back of the cave." She took his hand in hers and led him there, as if she was the one to see and him the blind.

They walked a dozen yards away further into the cave. As they came closer, they could hear some water flowing in a dark recess. Severus had his wand with him. "_Lumos_." Light was shed by the wand and he spotted the spring coming directly from up in the rock wall and gathering in a small pool before disappearing again between rock cracks.

Lorena cupped her hand to pick up water to drink it. The Potions Master got a hold of her arm firmly, to prevent her from drinking it. Through their bond, she felt his concern. "The water is safe, Severus. We may drink of it. Can't you hear it ?"

He was puzzled. "_Hear_ it ?"

"Yes… it says…" She stopped, apparently confused by his lack of receptivity. "It's elemental magic, Severus. I can't explain it. All I know is that it says that it's harmless for us to use it for drink and bathe."

She moved away from him. He released her arm. She drank from the water and then splashed some water on her face. The water was cold.

"You may use it, it's safe," she invited him. Severus agreed and put his hand under the water. He gathered that it was coming directly from an underground body of water, as it was cold.

For one of the rare times in his life, Severus Snape was confused. Not simply intrigued or even more puzzled. He was sheer confused. There was here something he could not grasp, something that resisted logical, analytical reasoning, something that eluded control and normalcy – even in the wizarding world. That bothered him a lot.

On the contrary, Lorena seemed at ease with this state of things. She removed her white gown and was now splashing water between her thighs, cleaning herself from the remnants of her virgin blood and his semen, which he had profusely spread in her.

"I could have Scourgified you," he stated, as if referring to a procedure he held for normal would diffuse some sense around him. He was watching her and he had to admit that the sight of her cleansing herself turned him on. It even crossed his mind that he should be the one to do that to her… His hands between her thighs… well, that would be a bath not meant to finish if he had his way with her.

Lorena stopped and turned towards him. "Severus, just think in terms of nature around you and tap in it. This spring is there for a particular purpose. For cleaning after the ritual. We haven't heard it yesterday simply because it wasn't there. I didn't hear it either. But it's here and we have to make good use of it."

She must have felt his lust somehow. "Not that use, though I don't mind." There was something definitely humorous in her voice. "Come to me, Severus." She extended her hand to him. He seized it. The bond intensified in his mind.

"Drink of it," she said. "It's fine," she insisted quietly. She was so sure of herself. _Let it go, Severus_, he could hear her in his mind. _Just let it go._

He complied. The water was cold but it felt good once in him. "Now, do as I do. Just follow your intuition, your instinct, whatever you call it." She splashed water on her shoulders, her breasts, her belly. She turned her attention to him and removed his black robe from his shoulders. They were both naked now and Severus felt a pang of desire boiling his blood again. He took her between his arms and kissed her on the neck. It seemed to him that that was the best thing to do now.

_Yes, let it go. Just tap in that reservoir of primal energy that surrounds us._ He could hear her voice in his mind sounding like encouragements. Her body responded to his embrace. Soon he felt she dragged him towards the spring. The water was flowing more this time. Severus just registered the fact but the young woman was what occupied his mind right now. She dragged him further, under the spring which emitted more water. They stood under the spring and they felt the water flowing on them. _Take me now, here,_ he could heard her ask him in his mind.

Severus did not need to be told twice. _That's my very intention._ He was hard again. His wand dropped on his robe nearby, still emitting some light, just what was enough to provide some kind of intimate atmosphere. He pushed her against the rock wall behind her, lifting her and spreading her legs around his hips so that he could take her as such with no delay. He did not even feel the coldness of the water. He could just feel how hot she was between his arms.

He entered her roughly, his maleness huge and hard. But she could take him. Whole of him. She screamed out of pleasure, grasping his shoulders, wanting the whole of him inside her. Their moans, groans and grunts of pleasure filled that part of the cave, turning them on even more.

At one moment, he felt the animal rush in him taking possession of him again – like it had had the night before. Lorena must have felt it too. _Yes, go on like this… shag me harder, Severus !_ he could hear in his mind. The rush became an intense wave crashing through his very soul. He was like an animal, thrusting in her like mad, completely oblivious to the world outside, even forgetting he could hurt her. But Lorena kept up with his passion, his ardor, his violence. _I like that ! Take me hard, Severus ! You're in rut, I'm ready for you ! _She cried out her pleasure with a raw sound that seemed to come from deep far down her throat, climaxing. Her cry was soon followed by his own deep grunt of release, when he came in her, expelling his semen in her with an outburst of energy that enveloped both.

They remained against the wall, their breaths short, for long minutes. Severus held her tight against him, kissing her tenderly yet passionately. They were soaked with the spring now pouring water above them, but they did not care. The water temperature was not an issue and honestly, a cold shower would have been completely useless to quench their ardors.

Yet, they enjoyed the spring to cleanse each other, Severus cleaning her and Lorena doing the same to him. For the first time of her life, she touched his maleness. He was surprised by the feel of her fingers on his manly flesh. Using Legilimency on her, he could perceive in her mind that she was first frightened by the size of his cock – even after a satisfying lovemaking.

_He deflowered me with that…_ he read in her thoughts – he also perceived a short memory of pain. _Yes, I did. And you loved every single second of it_, he replied to her. The sensation was weird to him.

"I could hear you in my mind, Lorena," he said softly. "Am I turning into some contact telepath ?" There was a cringe in his voice.

"You prefer Legilimency ?" she asked with a very slight hint of humor.

"Well…"

"This is elemental magic, Severus," Lorena told him once she could speak again. "All the energy around us, combined to our own energies. This is what fuels our capacities." She sounded like the teacher and him the student.

"Legilimency is something I master. I can control it. This telepathic stuff…"

"You don't have to worry, Severus. You'll control it as well as you control Legilimency. You'll even do better than me in this regard because you already know everything needed to master it. You just didn't know you had it in you and how you could trigger it off using the energies available around us."

"I could hear you ask for more while we were making love a few minutes ago. I felt like an animal in rut and I was taking you hard."

"I had asked you for it." She had said so with both a determined and sensual voice that sent chills down his spine. "Severus, you'll discover that being a contact telepath has its advantages. I'm not talking during lovemaking only – which was something new to me. But from what I know of Legilimency, you don't need to look at a person straight in the eyes to establish a contact. That's useful sometimes." She paused. "Oh, the spring has stopped flowing. Guess we may dress now."

She was right. Severus picked up their robes and his wand, still glowing. He took her by her elbow to guide her outside, though he had the feeling she could do so without him. But she said nothing. She just appreciated his touch on her, even the slightest. They came back to the cave entrance.

Lorena was naked and Severus could not help finding her beautiful in her natural beauty. She was like Diana or Aphrodite or an ancient goddess of nature, like those that lived in the old druidic traditions.

Severus thought about her words. It made sense somehow. "So it's true then… the ritual… deflowering you like this could grant me a part of your powers."

"Yes, it's true. We tapped in the most formidable reservoir of magic ever available to us." She put her hand on his chest, caressing his pale skin, touching his muscles, sensing him and feeling warm. "Severus… Elemental magic is another name for that special force that surrounds us wherever we are. It's very present in nature as nature is its most powerful receptacle. It's out for us to feel it and use it appropriately. Nature's powers are immense, limitless as they encompass the whole Creation. That force… is what binds the universe into a coherent whole, that draws each thing and being together – the union of man and woman being the ultimate, most sacred attraction of all."

Severus looked at her. She was so damn beautiful. Taking her virginity away had made her so complete now – she was a true woman. Her explanations were all the more logical, provided one sees things from a different point of view, with the maximum open-mindedness.

"That force… I can feel it everywhere… in the walls of this cave… in that spring… between the tree and the bird on the tree outside…"

He felt moved. "You belong here, Lorena. You belong to this place, you belong to Nature."

"No, Severus. I belong to you."

The Potions Master took her between his arms, touched by her words. Yes, she belonged to him. He had been the first to take her. She had followed him wherever he had taken her, surrendering to him bravely, totally, accepting him as he was with no conditions, letting him claim every inch of her. He took her lips for a deep kiss.

_That force, I feel it __at its most between you and me. Can you feel how powerful it is ?_ he heard her thought in his mind.

_Yes, I can feel it._ It was all he could reply. She was right. All her explanations were right, he could feel it with his instincts, his intuition, his intellect.

There was something else that made him shut down his mind to her. Now he understood why the Dark Lord was so much after that power. That made him anxious. He had just gathered what the consequences could be. Now he could easily imagine what such power could do in the hands of Evil. Harnessed in the hands of the Dark Lord, the boundless power of elemental magic could unleash the most deadly forces if warped into Dark magic.

* * *

They began to dress for the trip back. As he was about to don his white shirt, Lorena touched his left forearm. He felt her hand gripping it in a sudden reaction, a cringe on her face. "Evil…" she said in an inaudible whisper. But Severus was close enough to her to have heard it anyway. She had felt the Dark Mark. She did not know he was a Death-Eater. Nobody else knew at Hogwarts, save Dumbledore – and Mrs Pomfrey, when she had to treat him when he came back from Voldemort's meetings. The Headmaster had no reason to have disclosed that information to her. She was blind and there was no way for her to see the mark. Except… for that extra sensorial perception of hers.

"He's branded his mark on you… like cattle… or rather… like a slave…" she still whispered, a bit louder this time. Her voice had a mix of sadness, fear and despise.

Severus could understand sadness. He could handle fear. But despise… Despise led to rejection. Rejection led to suffering. Suffering led to hate. Hate led to death. He thought he could control that as well. He could not. Not after what he had just lived with her.

She sensed all this. "I don't despise you, Severus. I do despise _him_. For what he's done to you. To your soul."

She was right. The Dark Lord had turned him into a killing machine, a slave for his own purposes, compelling him to live in darkness, severing him from his humanity, scorching his soul in the process, almost snuffing out the faint light that tried to survive deep inside of him.

Her words were as much scathing as they were soothing. "How did you feel the Mark ?" he asked in a whisper.

She seemed to choose her words carefully in her mind. "That's the most painful spot on your body. I've felt your other scars during our lovemaking. But that Mark… It makes you suffer most physically and mentally too as it has rooted deeply into your soul now. It's like a bad weed, coming back every time despite careful weeding. Its magic… is the complete opposite of mine…"

"That's true. The Dark Mark is not a mere tattoo. It is Dark magic," he simply said. Shame could be heard in his voice.

As it was a secret, Severus never went out with his forearm naked. He kept it carefully concealed under his garments, even during summer. He even wore several layers over it so much it had become an embodiment of shame in his own sight. He tried to bury it as deep as possible. White shirt, black scarf, black waistcoat, black frock coat, black robe. Yes, he had been branded like a slave, property of an unworthy master, for his eternal shame.

Lorena felt all this through her bond with him. Her fingers caressed his forearm. She was the first person to caress him there since he had gotten the Dark Mark. She had been the first woman he had made love with naked. The rare times he had indulged with women in the past… he had always done so _dressed_. They were prostitutes and did not ask questions. It was quick, enough for him to get relief. Death-Eaters were said to share their women among themselves. He could have shown his Mark there. But Severus knew better – he had deemed not taking his share of them was a good way to avoid further trouble with his fellow Death-Eaters. He knew he would not allow another man to touch his own woman. He was possessive and he knew it. As for prostitutes, things were different. They were everybody's women, and he paid for a service.

But Lorena… She was blind, he thought she would not see the infamous Mark. He had not realized she could _feel_ it actually. She was still touching him there, caressing his skin gently. Her fingers were like a refreshing rain over a sun-scorched earth. Soothing, like a balm over a wound.

"It makes me suffer a bit more each passing day. Even when the Dark Lord does not summon me." Severus could not prevent the words from passing his lips. They were so true after all. When his body did not ache, then his soul did, as a cruel reminder of his errors past. And when Voldemort did call him, the physical pain was almost unbearable. He was what he was but he could not be called a liar and even less a coward because he was honest and courageous enough to face the truth.

In a true Slytherin fashion, Severus took full responsibility for his actions and their consequences. He had admitted it since the first day he had turned to Albus Dumbledore when he had realized then he had taken the wrong path. He had been suffering since that very moment. Crucified in silence. Until now. It was the first time he had voiced his suffering to someone. Even the Headmaster did not know the extent of the pain he endured. The Dark Mark had become the physical reminder of the cross he was now bearing everyday, which he would bear till his last breath.

"I know that." Her face cringed a bit again. A tear rolled on her cheek. "I grieve with you, Severus." He could feel she was suffering with him somehow. Pain was passing from him to her. An ugly pain for ugly acts.

He dabbed her tear with his thumb gingerly. "I don't want you to take that pain on you, Lorena." He swallowed, having gathered what she may intend to do. "It's mine and mine only. My punishment. My retribution. A cross I have to bear. Alone !"

She lifted her face to him. "Whatever that is, I accept it as it is, like I accept you as you are. It's just you're not alone in it. I'll stand by you, Severus. You don't have to put up with that pain on your own anymore."

"Why would you do this ?"

"Is that so difficult to understand ?"

He watched her with a miserable look on his face. "I don't want you to do that, Lorena. It'll destroy you like it destroyed me."

"My… feelings for you cannot be destroyed."

He looked at her, his lips parting lightly under the revelation, his dark eyes reflecting puzzlement at words he had not expected to hear. She had spoken these words so gently, yet very firmly, as if they were the most obvious and natural words to be said in the whole world.

"Some feelings cannot be destroyed, Severus. Like unrequited love. You, of all men, should know that I speak the truth."

He closed his eyes. She was right. He knew that. Lily had died long ago but his love for her had kept him alive in a sense. The faint light burning in the deepest recesses of his soul had been fed by it. Now, this light had grown into something shinier, more powerful. He knew this was not the devotion he had for Lily. He had gotten over it long ago, thinking it had been shredded to ribbons with the rest of his soul when she had died. Yet, he knew that there was still something there remaining from that devotion, which had been the nourishing receptacle for something even greater to come, like a fertile ground opening to welcome a small seed when it fell. Save that the ground had battled to remain fertile. Now, maybe the seed had just fallen…

Severus felt a rush in his veins. He grabbed Lorena between his arms and pressed her tight against him, as if he did not want her to fly away. Or be taken away from him. He felt something powerful in him overwhelming him warmly. It frightened and soothed him at the same time. He felt her arms circling his waist, her hands grabbing his back, her head leaning on his chest, in an enveloping gesture. She was smaller, weaker than him, she was blind, yet he felt she was the most powerful between them both. He would have loved to cry in her arms but he could not. Not yet.

_Let it go, just let it go, Severus… when the time comes, let it go._

He caressed her hair. She was soothing. She was healing. He had never met someone like her. He did not know what the future would have in stock for them both, he did not wish to think about it now. But he was sure of one thing : it would be hard for him to let her go.

* * *

_**I like having Severus puzzled by things he doesn't understand or control while he is always so proud of his own control.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	24. The Draught Against Unwanted Tomorrows

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**2****4 – The Draught Against Unwanted Tomorrows**

They packed up everything they had brought and minimized it back into the trunk, which was reduced in its turn to fit into his pocket. They got dressed quickly, in silence. Severus removed the spells he had cast on the cave to protect them during their stay here and they both stepped out in the light, for the first time in about 24 hours. He glanced at the cave a last time, as if to keep an image of it in his mind. This place would be associated in his soul to happiness – forever.

"Will you keep the location of this place in memory ?" Lorena asked him.

Somehow, she must have felt like him, if he followed her train of thoughts. "Would you like to come back here one day ?"

"Yes…" she said dreamingly. She did not dare voice she would like to come back here with him.

"I will then. Besides, the Headmaster indicated me that place, he too knows its location."

Severus took her hand in his, then he dragged her to him in a close embrace. Lorena got ready for Apparition, she clang to him, more than ever. A feeling of nostalgia crept in her mind. The wind was moving the trees gently around and it sounded to her they were like a hundred of violins all playing the '_Adagio for Strings_' around her. "Severus… hold me tight," she could not help asking. He was already doing so but he squeezed her even more against him. Through their bond, he had perceived her feelings and he could relate to that.

* * *

They Apparated just in front of the Hogwarts gates. Lorena was surprised. Her senses told her this was not Spinner's End.

"I have to see the Headmaster," the Potions Master offered as an explanation. He also had something else in mind. He needed to go to his stores to fetch a particular potion. A contraceptive potion. With all the lovemaking he had done to her… He was aware a virgin could get pregnant even on the first time. Better be safe than sorry.

They arrived at the gargoyle keeping the entrance to Dumbledore's office. Severus gave it the password and they both accessed the office. Albus Dumbledore and his phoenix were there together. The Headmaster raised his head when he heard somebody was coming in.

"Ah, Severus, my boy, I'm glad to see you."

"Headmaster," the Potions Master greeted.

"Lorena, good to see you too," he greeted her with a warm smile. "Please have a seat, the both of you."

Severus led Lorena to the chair in front of the desk. "Listen, Headmaster, I need to go back to my office first. I'll join you in a few minutes."

If Albus was surprised, he did not show it. "Alright, no problem." The Potions Master went out and once he was out of earshot, Dumbledore thought he could just enjoy the opportunity to question her. After all, she was a student and he had to make sure she had been treated well. He trusted Severus had but he preferred to hear it from her directly.

"So, Lorena, may I ask you a few questions ?"

Her smile on her lips seemed unsure. "Questions, Professor ?"

"Yes. In all honesty. How does Professor Snape treat you ? I didn't have any news from you since you left for his home at Spinner's End, about three weeks ago."

"He's nice with me, very kind. He's got a marvelous library and I had a wonderful time reading some very rare and interesting works he has there."

Her reply did not surprise Albus. He knew the girl was a bookworm. "And besides ?"

"Besides ? Oh. We have nice conversations together. It's a real pleasure to talk with him, he knows so many things. He's a wellspring of knowledge. I have the feeling I've learned as much in about a month spent with him than in my whole lifetime."

The reply made Albus smile. He knew the girl was honest – though she did not seem to wish to tell him everything. _So Slytherin_, he thought. He decided to press the matter forward – Severus maybe back soon.

"And as for the ritual, how was he with you ? Did he behave ?"

Lorena's expression on her features became dreamy. "The Professor was… gentle, careful and passionate, if this is what you mean." She had perfectly perceived the true motivation behind his question.

"I'm delighted to hear that, Lorena. Me and Professor Snape, we go back a long way. I would have been surprised if he had acted otherwise with you actually." Though Albus wondered what to put behind the word 'passionate' – from her point of view. He knew the younger wizard had temper and he hoped that his 'passion' had not been detrimental to the girl's well-being. Well, the way she had uttered that word left no doubts : she had enjoyed him and what they had done together.

"You say so because of his past as a Death-Eater ?"

Dumbledore did not expect that question. But he did not show it. "There is the past but Professor Snape is the living proof that we can change, whatever the way or mistake we've made. I trust him. I knew he would not harm you. A man doesn't need to be a Death-Eater to behave in a hateful manner with a woman, you know." He paused and frowned. "By the way, how did you know he was a Death-Eater ?"

"The mark on his left forearm. It's most painful for him even when his master does not summon him. I felt it, I mean, I felt his suffering in his soul. It had the shape of that mark."

"Ah, the Dark Mark. They call it like this."

"Yes…" She changed subject. "Anyway, this cave was a place laden with powerful magic, if ever."

"Indeed, I'm glad to hear you say so. Very ancient and powerful magic. The kind of magic that you possess and practice yourself, Lorena."

"Elemental magic ?"

Albus replied affirmatively. "He's coming, Professor," Lorena said in warning before he could talk any further. He decided not to ask any further questions to her. He still had some but his Potions Master would be there to answer them then.

Severus came in and before he sat down, he put a hand on Lorena's shoulder. "Miss Nottingham, I need to talk to the Headmaster privately."

The use of her surname indicated her that there was serious business going on and that he did not wish to show he was friendly and even less intimate with her.

"Sure, Professor," she replied evenly, showing him she had understood.

Albus also got it. "Lorena, what about waiting for Professor Snape in the garden ? Fawkes can guide you there." Before she could reply, the phoenix spread his wings and he gracefully landed on her shoulder, emitting a lovely trill.

"Yes, Professor Dumbledore. I'll be there waiting for Professor Snape." Her tone showed the Potions Master that he'd better pick her up there once he was done with the Headmaster. She rose from her seat, the bird on her shoulder, her silhouette in a lovely green dress. She was prettier than ever. Probably the fact that now, she was a woman.

Once she was gone, Severus took a seat opposite Albus. Both men remained silent for long seconds. "I'm here for the debriefing, Headmaster," Severus said eventually.

"Yes indeed. So ?"

"Everything went perfectly as per the ritual."

"Excellent. But I need more details to ascertain to what extent the ritual was indeed a success. How many times did you take her ?"

"Albus !"

"Severus, we're between men of experience. I know you're someone very private but I need to know. Besides, what's said here, won't go out of here. I even cast a spell on the pictures here so that they cannot hear what we may have to say on this particular subject. Last but not least… I'm your friend."

The Potions Master could not but oblige. "Sometimes, Albus, I really wonder why you were not sorted into Slytherin."

"I'll take that as a compliment, especially from a consummate Slytherin like yourself," the old man said with a smile.

Severus sighed. "I took her… eight times during the ritual and two other times after that."

"Oh. Ten times overall ? Ah, youth…" Albus said dreamingly. "More seriously, you got her two other times after the ritual was completed ?"

"Yes."

"I believe you've grown fond of her after all," the Headmaster said.

Severus scowled at the Headmaster. Fondness was not the word he would have used to describe what he felt for the young woman. He felt some kind of powerful attraction for her indeed, both physical and mental. Something he could not define though. "I don't know, Albus, what I feel for her. I just know that I enjoyed her. Immensely."

"Don't tell me, I can read it on your face, Severus." The Potions Master knew better – Albus Dumbledore was a skilled Legilimens too. He was sure that the old man was more than reading his face only. "By the way, Severus, tell me : did she enjoy it ?"

"Albus !"

"Just reply to my question. Unless you prefer me to ask her directly ? I could do that too."

_Of course __you could do that_, the Potions Master thought. _You would. Maybe you already did it while I was out to my stores a few minutes ago._

"What does this have to do with the ritual ?" Severus asked, a bit cross.

"It has everything. The more the couple makes love together, the more the ritual is fulfilled and the more the process of passing powers onto each other is complete. If the couple was consenting and has enjoyed it, that is also reflected into the process. We're not talking about sex just for the sake of it, Severus. We're not even talking about an old magic ritual or whatever. We're talking about the fight between good and evil. See what I mean now ?"

"Yes, Headmaster." He paused. Albus could see that the Potions Master was blushing. "We made love together. We both enjoyed it. The ritual was a success. We had respected it to the letter. Miss Nottingham was very careful to keep our both wands in contact during the whole ritual and I must say, she was really serious in doing so despite the… pleasure she may have felt during our various intercourses."

"What happened during the ritual, in terms of magic ?"

This time, Severus was more willing to reply. "As soon as I had… deflowered her, some mist went out of both our wands. Very similar to a _Patronus Charm_ being cast. Save that this was golden, not silvery in color. But the same consistence. It grew bigger and bigger and went above our bodies like a canopy of light."

"Interesting. How long did it last ?"

"All night, Albus. When we woke up in the morning, it had disappeared. It was as if… as if the sun was shining brightly directly in that cave."

"Other details ?"

"Yes… A spring had appeared in the morning. It was not there when we had Apparated there on the day before. Miss Nottingham was sure on that point as she was the first one to notice it. You know she has a very acute hearing. She spotted the spring at the back of the cave. She told me we had to use it as it had appeared on purpose. We used it to cleanse ourselves."

"Ah, yes, of course, I can imagine that," Dumbledore said thoughtfully. "You gathered that the place is very particular for this kind of magic."

"Elemental magic ?"

"Yes. She must have been very receptive then as this is the power she uses."

"I must say that she felt all the more at ease in such an environment. She seemed to know… a lot more than me on this matter."

"Well, that made you both pretty even then," Albus commented. "What else happened, I mean to you, inside of you, I mean, in your mind ?"

Severus pondered his reply. He fought between his wish to give all the information the Headmaster may need to collect, and his desire to keep for himself what he considered to have been a deeply personal experience.

"I felt… as if some parts of her abilities had been transferred into me. I was able to do Legilimency without looking at her, just by touching her. Like she does."

"Contact telepathy. Oh, that's a good start indeed. What else ?"

Severus took a deep breath. "I feel… bad about it, Albus, but when I was… making love with her… I felt as if an animal had taken over me. She was feeling the same too."

"That's normal. Elemental magic involves natural, animal forces, forces which are part of ourselves. We should not be afraid of them. They've been inside us for millennia – and still are. You should not feel ashamed."

"I don't feel ashamed !" Severus exclaimed. "I enjoyed it immensely on the contrary. That's the problem. I enjoyed… shagging her senseless !" The Potions Master was surprised by his own choice of words but he had to admit they were appropriate to what he had felt then. "I felt like an animal in rut. I was her stag and she told me she was my doe. Never felt like this with a woman before, Albus." He lowered his head and put a hand on his face as if to hide it. "Never."

The Headmaster went to him and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Severus, my boy. There's no problem with that. The place was very powerful, the magic involved was even more powerful. You were both on the same wavelength, both mentally and physically. You should be happy with that. The both of you. There was no abuse of her on your part. Let it go, just let it go."

Severus' hand went to touch Albus', in a sincere show of appreciation. "Thank you, Albus."

"I think you needed to talk about it and hear this. Now you may go. Do you wish to come back here or stay at Spinner's End ?"

"We'll go back there for the rest of August, I think."

"Very good," the Headmaster said while the Potions Master rose from his chair. "Oh, Severus…" Both men's gazes locked. "Lorena… she really enjoys your company, you know. Something's telling me that she feels even more than that."

Severus nodded. "I know, Albus. We talked about it already." Wishing not expand further on the matter, the Potions Master left the office in a quick move.

* * *

Severus found Lorena sitting on a bench in the garden, Fawkes by her side. They were both singing together, the bird giving her the melody and the girl following him. Sometimes, she was just giggling and the phoenix sent her trills then. For long minutes, the Potions Master watched them. He was moved by the girl he had made a woman. She was so full of life and magic. She went along with everybody, including all creatures. _Most likely Elemental magic_, Severus thought.

He came to them and sat beside her. She felt his presence and turned her face to him, a wide grin on her lips. Out of reflex, she put a loving hand on his thigh. "Severus…"

Fawkes sent a long trill that sounded like a cooing, then went to perch himself on the Potions Master's shoulder, just between Severus and Lorena. He trilled again softly to the man's ears.

"He says that we are a good match together," Lorena translated him what the bird had said. "He says that he likes to see us together like this. He wants _you_ to be happy."

Severus thought that the damn bird knew too many things around. Well, Fawkes knew many things about everyone around. Nothing personal. He was Dumbledore's familiar and no doubt that master and familiar shared many secrets.

"Elemental magic again ?"

"Yes," Lorena replied. "Fawkes, thank you for your nice company. I loved singing with you. But I think Professor Snape wishes to be alone with me now. Say goodbye to Professor Dumbledore for me please."

She had instructed the bird so gently that the phoenix trilled again before leaving them. He disappeared through an open window in the castle.

"Lorena, I want you to take this," Severus said, holding out a vial from his pocket. He took her hand and put it there.

"What's this potion ? What for ?"

"It's called the 'Draught Against Unwanted Tomorrows'. Drink it."

"I trust you, Severus. But I won't drink it until you tell me what's for." Her voice was serious now.

"It's a draught against unwanted pregnancies. It is to be taken after a sexual intercourse that might have been impregnating. It has a contraceptive effect of 48 hours after the last sexual intercourse."

"Oh, I see. I understand the name now. 'Unwanted Tomorrows'…" she seemed to think about it but she removed the stopper from the vial and drank it all. Severus was relieved that she did not make any fuss about using it. "It's bitter," she just commented.

"I think unwanted tomorrows taste even more," Severus replied while putting the vial back into his pocket.

"What will the effects be on me ?"

"If I did not impregnate you, your system will get it out in a natural way, without any interference with the rest of your body functions. In case I would have impregnated you, the egg would be eliminated with your next periods."

"Oh, it's like an abortive potion then."

Severus cringed at the word 'abortive'. Like most of the people in the wizarding community, abortion was considered repulsive as well as a taboo issue, while contraception was widely accepted. It was not forbidden but witches and wizards thought they were so few compared to the masses of Muggles around them, that suppressing any life that could evolve into a magical human being, was seen as almost criminal. Abortion did exist but was performed under very exceptional circumstances, well documented and after being given serious thinking. Severus was not one to give such potion lightly.

However, in this case, he had felt compelled to do so. For the girl's sake. If abortion was badly considered in the wizarding community, it was worse for unwed mothers as they were more than frown upon – they were literally outcast and condemned to live on the fringes of society, their kids seen as bastards. Severus knew that Lorena had not had a lot to say in that story of ritual. Therefore he did not consider her as fully responsible of the consequences, while he saw himself fully aware of the possible outcome. He deemed Lorena should not bear the consequences of actions that had been more or less imposed on her – even if she had been fully consenting between his arms and had even enjoyed every minute of it.

Moreover, Lorena had been raised as a Muggle and was not fully aware of all this. She had never imagined that the Muggle world and the wizarding world held so different views on the same subjects. Abortion was legalized in the UK. Unwed mothers and their children born out-of-wedlock were widely accepted. Severus knew about these differences too, being himself a half-blood and having been raised in a Muggle environment, though his own mother had been a witch. He could not let a 18-year-old witch end up destitute because of his own irresponsibility. Besides, she had to finish her schooling, she still had two years to complete at Hogwarts. Brilliant as she was, she would surely go on with her education after her graduation at Hogwarts. A child would be a big problem then. She had no relatives – the only one she had was rotting in jail, her father. No, Severus Snape could not let that happen.

Hence the 'Draught Against Unwanted Tomorrows'… The future would be enough dangerous with the Dark Lord lurking around for her, no need to add an unwanted pregnancy as an extra burden on her shoulders.

"Ready to Apparate, Lorena ?"

"Yes, Severus."

He took her hand in his and led her outside the Hogwarts grounds, beyond the gates. He did not even realize that anybody could have seen him holding hands with a young woman inside the school grounds… Once past the gates, he grabbed her against him, holding her firmly.

"Severus…"

"Yes ?"

"Just kiss me, please."

He watched her carefully. He felt the need in her voice and through the physical contact. He looked around and took her mouth with a gentle kiss. They Apparated as soon as their lips had parted.

* * *

**_I hope sincerely that Severus is still in character. Feel free to tell me. And yes, I agree with him, Albus Dumbledore is so manipulative, he should have been sorted into Slytherin (while we all know he's a Gryffindor)._**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	25. Back to Spinners End

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**2****5 – Back to Spinner's End**

They resumed their kissing when they arrived in that dark dead-end alley at Spinner's End. They broke the kiss after a particularly long, sensual exchange. Severus caressed her cheek tenderly. Yes, he had grown to care for her. He knew she nurtured strong feelings for him. It was quite difficult for him to accept them but he was aware that they could not be ordered at will. Nobody or nothing had prevented him from loving Lily – not even her marriage to another man, not even her death. He had loved her for many years after that and it had taken many other years to get over it. He just could not imagine himself as someone worthy of feelings such as love or friendship after all he had done as a Death-Eater. And now he was living as a spy for the Order of the Phoenix, he deemed safer for him not to be involved with a woman. He could be killed any time once he was summoned by the Dark Lord. He could not let a woman behind him, and even less a family.

Save that now, there was Lorena. Her body. Her mind. Her soul. Her elemental magic. Her feelings. A lot to handle, even for a man like Severus Snape.

"Let's go home," he said after long seconds spent stroking her cheek. He took her hand in his, like he had done before. After removing the various wards and spells cast over his house to prevent anybody from entering, Muggle or wizard, he opened the door and led Lorena inside. She was glad to be back obviously.

Severus and Lorena went upstairs so that they could maximize their luggage and take care of them. Everything that had been used for the ritual, was stored in the attic. The four cauldrons came back to the lab in the basement. Then they came back downstairs, where Severus asked his house elf Ziggy to get them something to eat.

They ate together in the kitchen as usual. Everything seemed to go back to normal. But they knew that things could never be the same as before. Before they had become lovers during that incredible ritual. As much as Lorena had enjoyed the intimacy with him, she was now afraid that it might be over. It had been a pure moment of bliss but they had to move on together with their lives – him as a teacher, her as a student.

Somehow, that would be hard for Lorena. She had confessed her feelings to him – and she did not regret it a single second. She knew she had been right to do so then because she had felt his pain, his loneliness, his utter suffering at what he was compelled to do as a Death-Eater. She wanted to alleviate his misery with a bit of the magic she knew best : Love. Though she was only 17, she knew instinctively that love was a great healer. She was aware she was taking a hell of a risk. He may just reject her after the ritual be completed. She would spend the next two years yearning after him in class but she had resolved she would not fight against his decision. As a Slytherin, she knew how to face the consequences of her actions – she was ready for this. She would cope with that, even if her heart had to suffer, giving time to time – that other great healer. But at least, she would have loved and known what it was with the man of her choice. She would treasure it for the rest of her life.

Severus was aware of all this too. He knew perfectly what would happen next. He would allow himself to spend the rest of the time with her while refusing intimacy with her. Not that he was masochist but he deemed it safer like this. He knew the extent of their respective passion and he could not handle this. In one month's time, he would be her teacher again, she would be his student. Though she was of age, considered an adult now, he deemed it too risky to bed her at Hogwarts. Once the other Slytherins were back, she would leave his quarters and sleep in her dorm. Where she belonged.

_No, Severus. I belong to you._

The words were ripping his heart. Never a woman had told him such a thing. Not even Lily. Which made his decision to close his bedroom door to her even more difficult. But he was sure she would understand. He just needed time to assimilate what had happened to them during Lughnasadh. Besides, he did not wish to impregnate her. The ritual may have been a close call after all.

But for the rest of their relation, Severus was at a loss. He craved for her companionship, her tender attention to him, their kisses together, the sex. Well, they could still share that, though he knew where it could lead them. But it was so good… Last but not least, he could not help thinking in a very possessive way towards her, since he had taken her virginity. She had only been his and his only. He could not imagine her with another man. He had felt it during the ritual : she was the one for him. Was he the one for her though ?

That animal, carnal power in him… Severus could feel it intense when he was looking at her only. She was blind and could not read on his face. Otherwise she could have seen the rush of desire and even the lust that boiled his blood to an almost non-return point. How could she do that to him ? Elemental magic again at work ? So many questions and so few answers…

They finished their meal. Lorena retreated to the living-room and retrieved her violin. She got it out of the case and began to play. The '_Adagio for Strings_' sounded soon in the house, its breathtaking, imposing, graceful notes pounding in both their hearts.

It reminded Lorena how happy she had been over this Lughnasadh night. Now she felt nostalgia, having intuitively gathered that Severus wished to become distant with her. It reminded her of the love they had shared together and that was now gone to ashes. She did not wish to cry in front of him though and music was just the most appropriate way to express her feelings and shed tears openly.

Severus could not help being overwhelmed by the feeling that music aroused in him. Powerful like a climax, sensual in its crescendo, painful in the feelings of loss and grief he already had for Lorena and their love. He would not know peace and happiness and this piece just suited his mood fine.

At night, they went to sleep in their respective bedrooms. Lorena said nothing though she was waiting for an opening from him. Severus made none. As she was a guest in his house, she said nothing and went just to cry silently once alone in her bed. She loved him and was ready to bear the consequences of that unrequited love. But how it hurt ! She felt abandoned somehow. Then she would touch the Snape medallion she still wore around her neck. It was the only remnant of their union somehow, some kind of a lucky charm of sorts, she could not have said why. She just felt it like this. _Well, he said that the woman bearing that medallion was the property of a Snape. Am I your property ? I belong to you, Severus._

Severus had not talked her into resuming their lessons in Occlumency. After what they had lived together, the powerfulness of their respective feelings for each other, Severus did not wish to do it again. Albus would surely give him hell but honestly it could not be worse than what the Dark Lord had inflicted him sometimes. He would find an explanation for failing to do that. Maybe the old man would reckon then that this was not so good an idea that his Potions Master taught her that skill.

He had intended on keeping things like this till the beginning of the term. They would be back to Hogwarts by mid August, so that they could settle in there again. Severus had his lesson plan to prepare and check out his own stores for the new academic year, order what was missing and brew what was needed. Then, with the beginning of classes, he hoped that every thing would fell back into normalcy.

However, sometimes, things do not work the way they are supposed to work.

* * *

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	26. My love cannot be destroyed

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**2****6 – My love cannot be destroyed**

They were both together in the sitting-room. Lorena was playing a sweet melody performed on the violin she had heard on a Muggle radio, aptly entitled '_Remembrances_'. She was working on it. It was sweet, sad and nostalgic. It suited her mood – and that of the Potions Master too.

Severus was not listening to her as he was busy with elaborating his lesson plan. Yet, he could hear that a lot of work was involved before rendering a piece to almost perfection. Lorena stopped and resumed, again and again, there were false starts and bad notes, as if the instrument she usually mastered, had just become rebellious between her expert hands. He glanced at her several times, moved by her efforts, her perseverance and her endeavors, her agile fingers struggling their way on the strings. He wondered how many years it had taken her before she could give an acceptable rendition of the '_Adagio for Strings_'.

He rose to pick a book in his library when suddenly a sharp pain seared in his left forearm. He clenched his arm, hit full force. The Dark Mark.

Through their bond, Lorena felt suffering in her mind. She stopped playing and put her instrument on the sofa besides. "Severus ?" Her acute hearing heard his shallow breathing. "Severus !" She rose from the sofa and went to him. He may refuse the least tender gesture to her but he would not reject her in such a moment.

Lorena went to him. She was right. "He's summoning you, isn't he ?" she asked softly. The pain showed on his features but what Lorena could not see, she could feel. He had leaned against the shelves. She perceived the angst in his soul – and his struggle not to let it overwhelm him. He fought to regain control of himself. She slid an arm around his waist to support him. "Come with me."

"No, I have to go. Now !"

"Just take a bit of rest before, please…"

"No. When the Dark Lord calls… he doesn't like waiting. We have to leave quick."

"_We_ ?" For a second or two, Lorena thought that she would have to leave with him and meet the Dark Lord.

"Yes… I can't leave you here on your own."

"I can take care of myself alone, Severus. Besides, Ziggy can help me."

"No… I'm not talking about everyday life stuff. Listen, Lorena, it can be a ploy to snatch you once I'm gone. I can't take that risk. We leave for Hogwarts now. Don't argue !" He took a deep breath. "Please, Lorena. We have little time left. Pick up what you need with you."

That was said. "Are you going to be fine ?" He squeezed her arm and Lorena complied. She took her violin she put in its case. She went to pick up her cloak and checked her wand was in her right sleeve. "I'm ready to go, Severus," she said with a determined voice.

"Let's go then." He grabbed her in the middle of the room.

"We don't go out to Apparate ?"

"No… In emergencies, I can Apparate from here directly." He held her tight against him and in a popping sound, they were gone.

* * *

A few seconds later, they found themselves in his sitting-room at Hogwarts. Lorena was disoriented. "Where are we ?"

"In my quarters at Hogwarts."

"I thought Apparition was not possible within the castle !"

"The Headmaster granted me this privilege, as a spy for the Order. This is the only place I can depart from and come back to and I'm the only one to be able to do so."

Lorena remembered then when he had gone earlier this Summer. _And only him and the Headmaster knows about this arrangement. And me too now. _She realized that she shared one secret of the Order of the Phoenix. He had come back with blood on his garments, serious lashes in his back, in the middle of the night. Now it would be the same thing. This time, it may be even worse.

Severus did not lose time. He went to his bedroom and retrieved a small casing in his wardrobe. It contained his Death-Eater mask, as well as several vials. He drank from one – an impotency potion – then he put three other vials in his pockets, after charming them to be unbreakable. Painkilling potions. Blood-replenishing potions. He grabbed his Death-Eater cloak and went back to the sitting room.

Lorena was still there. She had an anxious look on her face. He was under the impression that she knew beforehand what was in stock for him this time. He put the large black cloak around his shoulders.

"Severus…" she called him with a broken voice. "When… when do you think you'll be back ?"

This was a difficult question. Death-Eaters always knew when they arrived in the Dark Lord's presence – never when they departed from it. "I don't know, Lorena. Maybe a day or two or three. I can't tell."

The anxiety she perceived in his voice was more than alarming. _He sounds like he's marching to death._ The thought was unbearable. "Be careful, Severus."

"I will."

Suddenly, she got an idea. A crazy idea. But it could work any way. She removed the Snape medallion from around her neck. "Take this, Severus. You told me it's supposed to bring luck to the bearer. Now is the time to prove it." She put the medallion around his neck. He was surprised but said nothing. He just hid it under his clothes. "Remember it was part of the ritual. It's endowed with very powerful magic now. Its own properties have been enhanced during the ritual."

She patted his cloak, as if to check that everything was alright with him and that he would be to his best advantage in front of the Dark Lord. He could see in her eyes the tears welling up and her struggle to contain them. "There's another magic that can protect you, Severus."

"What do you mean ?"

"Listen, I know you don't like lengthy goodbyes and neither do I. Something's telling me that this time, the Dark Lord's very angry because of what happened between us. I would not be surprised if he knows about it. Let me give you an extra protection. Something I give you and that he cannot take away from you."

She tiptoed and her lips met his. The kiss, first shy, became more and more passionate. All the pent-up desire and love they felt for each other exploded at that moment, followed by an intense, burning wave of love sweeping his mind. They broke the kiss eventually.

"Severus, I just gave you a part of my elemental magic. The most powerful one. My… love." She hushed him. "Let me finish. Every time you feel you'll lose control, that pain is too much for you to bear or that what the Dark Lord inflicts you will exceed the limits of your endurance, think of how much I feel for you. It'll protect you. The kiss I just gave you is endowed with that magic. Treasure it." Her voice was determined now. "As long as you think about that light in you, you'll live. Because my love for you cannot be destroyed – not even by the Dark Lord. Do not forget it."

She moved away from him to leave him space around to Apparate. Severus let her go. He knew she was right even if the rational part of his brain had issues dealing with it.

"I will wait for you here, Severus." Tears were welling up in her empty pale gray eyes.

There were so many things he wanted to tell her but they were stuck in his throat. Now was not the time actually. They may even become a tool against him. He buried them in the deepest pits of his soul, along with the faint light that was still burning in him.

"Lorena… Please do me a favor. Tell the Headmaster that I've been summoned. He'll understand."

"I will, Severus, I will." Her voice was not shaking despite the big sob mounting in her throat. "You're the bravest man I ever know, Severus."

With these last words in his ears, the Potions Master Apparated – to his fate.

* * *

Lorena allowed herself to burst into tears only once he was gone, falling down to her knees, one hand over her heart. She knew it would do her good before she rushed to the Headmaster. Her father used to tell her that it was useless to cry after, once harm was done. Crying was to be made _before_. It did not last long and she felt better. She left Severus' quarters, warded them once out and found her way to Dumbledore's office.

On her way, she met the Bloody Baron that was kind enough to guide her in the corridors up to the Headmaster's office. Once there, in front of the gargoyle, the ghost whispered her the password. The Baron was always there to help his Slytherins.

Albus Dumbledore raised his head when he heard the stairwell moving. Somebody was coming. He was most surprised to see Lorena, but as she knocked on his open door to announce herself, he gathered at once something was up. The girl could not have Apparated here on her own. He came to her and took her hands in his.

"Where's Severus ?"

"He's been summoned, Professor. Just a few minutes ago. We were in his home when suddenly he felt that horrible Mark burning. It was so powerful, so terrible, I felt it in his soul, through our bond. We Apparated directly here to his quarters and he left, asking me to inform you of the same."

He made her sit in a chair. "That's fine, Lorena. You did well." Lorena could hear concern in his voice. This would not definitely be an ordinary session with the Dark Lord.

"Professor, I'm afraid… that this time, the Dark Lord will be very angry after… after what happened between Severus and me." A pause. "Don't you think, Professor ?" Now anxiety could be frankly heard in her voice.

Albus could not deny it. She was right. Voldemort would be furious to learn that. He would first unleash all his powers to know the culprit. Then he would take his revenge on his spy in the most gruesome manner. For the first time in his life, Albus was afraid. He feared that his Potions Master would never come back alive.

"What's going to happen to him, Professor ?" Tears were spilling on her cheeks now.

Albus decided he would tell her the truth. "I will not withhold information from you, Lorena. Severus may not come back. Voldemort may kill him just because you both foiled a part of his plans. Severus will be punished for that. Tortured and killed after a long, painful and gruesome death."

She swallowed. Nothing new she may know actually. She did not want the details. She only hoped that her magic would work. "There might be one hope though," she said after long seconds. She could not accept that he may die. Not like this. Not because of her. Not because of a night of pleasure they had shared together.

Dumbledore watched her carefully. "I'm listening to you."

"During the ritual, I was wearing a medallion. Severus had lent it to me for the concert, saying it would bring me luck. A lovely jewel he had been given by his mother long ago. Naturally, when the ritual required I carried a jewel, we agreed it would be that one. I don't know if Severus told you but he told me that during the ritual, the jewel was glowing. Apparently, it had become charged with the magic on that night."

"Indeed. Jewels with a strong meaning for the couple are endowed with particular powers."

"I gave it back to him before he left. I know it's been endowed with elemental magic. But that's not the only thing he left with."

Albus was interested. The jewel part had been missing in Severus' report – most likely because probably he had not attached a great importance to it unless he had forgotten about it. "Go on."

"I gave him my… love. We… kissed each other before he left. I told him that my feelings for him…" Her voice broke at this point. She fought her tears. "My love for him cannot be destroyed. If he kept that love in him, he may not be destroyed. The Dark Lord cannot win against love."

Albus felt his eyes becoming wet. He remained silent. He used Legilimens discreetly on her. He felt overwhelmed by a rush of love coming from her and suddenly, he knew she was right. Nothing, no evil power, no evil being could win in front of such a love. Hope came back to his mind. Her love for Severus was so powerful that it could soothe anybody's pain.

"You used a very old yet powerful form of magic, Lorena."

"My elemental magic ?"

"It's a part of it. Love is the most advanced, powerful, universal form of that magic." He paused. "A mother's love can protect her child from the effect of Dark magic. Even against the Killing Curse. So can your love for Severus."

"You mean… he may come back alive then ?"

Albus lowered his face. "No, Lorena. A part of me says, yes, he can make it back. Another part of me says that this may not be possible. I don't want to lie to you. I think you're strong enough to hear the truth. I'd want to tell you that he will come back – he has always come back. But this time… odds are not in our favor. Actually, the gift of your magic to him is the only hope I have to get him back. We're facing someone very powerful. Human endurance has its limits too. We cannot but wait and pray, like Muggles say."

"Then I'll pray. I've been raised a Muggle. I'll focus my love on him. It should reach him, wherever he is."

Albus had a warm look for her. "You do that. If anything happens, I want you to inform me at once. Fawkes will stay with you and keep you company."

She rose from her seat. The phoenix went to perch himself on Lorena's shoulder. He trilled a few notes and she felt better.

"One last thing, Lorena," the Headmaster said. "Use your music as a way to focus. Remember that music is also a very powerful magic in its own right."

Lorena turned her face to the old man. She could not see how worried he was but she had felt it. "I will, Professor. I will. Every thing I do, I'll do it… for Severus."

"Lorena… Does Severus know about your love ?"

"Yes, I told him that I love him. Yet, I don't know if he understood what I meant. He's so… reserved, so private, I perceived this would be too much to handle for him. Well, I don't know exactly but I felt it like this that I should just tell him that I have feelings for him, that… he means something to me."

Albus nodded. "I understand. Your secret is safe with me, up to the moment that you'll be ready to reveal it to him fully."

"Thank you, Professor, for your understanding."

She left his office, the red and gold bird on her shoulder. Albus Dumbledore remained thoughtful for long minutes. He wondered how lucky Severus was to have earned such a love. And he felt sad for his friend to know that he may not live to enjoy it for the rest of his days.

* * *

**_I have always been fascinated by the love magic Lily had invoked to protect her son Harry just before she died. Surely one of the most beautiful ideas JKR had in her works. A universal idea. I used it there, this time from one lover to another - but I'm sure it is the same logic and magic at work._**

**"Remembrances"_ is a marvelous piece of work part of the soundtrack of the movie _Schindler's List_. The piece is played by Itzhak Perlman on the violin. I thought it suited Lorena's mood while she was waiting for Severus to come back hopefully alive. It sure suited mine while I was writing this chapter. I write my stories like a movie, imagining the action and hearing the music playing in the background at the same time._**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	27. Love is empathy

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**2****7 – Love is empathy**

Lorena spent the next three days in a state of febrility and despair. She hid it as best as she could, trying not to think about the worst, focusing on her bond with Severus, playing the music he loved so much. She had come to the Room of Requirement and the same piano was there for her. Fawkes was with her all the time. The phoenix was the only being that soothed her. His trills were like a balm on her nerves. They sang together, partaking from that same elemental magic they both had access to.

She was glad that there was nobody around to see her pain and distress. She imagined Severus being tortured and sometimes, she knew it was not just her imagination. Through their bond, she could perceive his pain. She was then seized by fits of anxiety that made her kneel down, breathe heavily, crying all she had, as she was suffering herself directly. He was indeed the bravest man she ever knew, enduring everything for the wizarding world. However, even during these fits, she kept sending her love and all the positive memories they had shared on Lughnasadh eve through their bond.

She was sure of one thing : he had not died. Not yet. She would have felt it. Her heart would have broken and she had no idea what would have become of their bond. She did not wish to know as she was certain that the process of a broken bond would have been a really painful one.

She discovered that hope made the whole thing even more complete. Hope combined with love was indeed a powerful magic. She wanted to believe he would come back. The waiting was becoming unbearable but she kept fighting for him to come back. If she could, she would just step in the meeting with Voldemort and bring Severus back with her. The fantasy was enough to make her smile and give her drive to go on.

Dumbledore had explained to her that the Potions Master had been right to bring her back here for her own safety. Besides, he knew that Severus would Apparate back to Hogwarts where he could be treated. Albus knew that Lorena's support would be essential then. If he came back.

* * *

Lorena's nights were even worse than her days. She was under the impression that Severus would come back during the night. It had been the case before. She was ready to hear him Apparate back into the sitting-room. She had even set an alarm ward linked to her room in case he would do so, so that she could attend to him immediately.

However, Lorena had something even surer than her alarm ward. The bond she shared with Severus since their night together on Lughnasadh eve. After three days, she knew he was still alive, while everybody else was more and more convinced that this time, the Potions Master had gone for good. Minerva McGonagall had come back and she was grim. Despite her frequent fights with the Head of Slytherin over House points – most of the time taken off Gryffindor by the Potions Master – she liked him much. As a member of the Order of the Phoenix, she was fully aware of all the sacrifices he had to consent to in his part as a spy. The rest of the faculty, coming back to the castle, was in no less better mood. Albus was the saddest. He was losing his Potions Master, his spy, his friend, his confident.

Amid all this, Lorena was feeling terrible too. But she had collected enough strength to face the unbearable, steeling herself in a true Slytherin fashion. She was grieving intensely inside but she knew that as long as the bond was not broken, there would be hope. She had read everything as much as possible on the matter in the library and had asked many questions to Dumbledore about it. The old man had finished to believe her about the bond. It was still there. Severus was still alive.

But at night, alone in her bed, Lorena cried every thing she had, preparing herself to the worst. Alone, she could cry. She did not wish to cry in front of the others. Only Fawkes knew the extent of her worries. He was the only creature she could share this with. He was so dependable a familiar. Even if he was not _her_ familiar.

Lorena wondered if she could live without Severus around. Even knowing he was simply alive and well would be enough. She gave thought about their future together. Well, actually, there was no future together. She had perceived that. She had to finish her schooling here and then go on with her life after graduation. Maybe she would date another wizard, get married and have his kids. Maybe she could help her father – one day or so, he would get out of jail. Maybe she would just end up as a blind witch, depending on other people's charity or whatever. But Severus Snape was absent from all these perspectives. He had been a marvelous dream, a real physical passion, a hope too soon dismissed into the limbos of expectations. Yet, he would remain the great love of her life. Whatever the future had in stock for her, he would always have a special place in her heart. The biggest place.

She had felt it, he had grown more and more distant these last days. He had only reverted to his passionate self with her just before leaving for the Dark Lord. She could understand his motives. Living the life of a spy, what else could he decently give to a woman, even less to a family ? This war against Voldemort promised to last long. Severus could not allow his family to become leverage against him. Last but not least, his life was always on the balance. He could not get himself a wife and have kids that would end up widow and orphans. She knew he had made a sound choice. She was just sad that she was not a part of it.

She was there in her reverie when suddenly, the alarm ward she had set, rang in her bedroom, like an alarm clock. She took her wand and barefoot, clad in her white nightgown, she ventured out of the room. As a blind person, she did not need light. She just relied on her extra sensorial perception.

Only one person in the whole universe could Apparate directly in this room in Hogwarts. Her heart leaped with hope and joy. She perceived where the person could be and rushed there. A body lied in the middle of the room. "Severus !"

Lorena dropped to her knees beside him. She could not believe it that the man she loved was back. It was unreal but touching him, she knew he was real. He was no ghost.

Real and in pretty bad shape. She barely felt his pulse. She had to be quick. She asked Fawkes to go and tell the Headmaster that Severus had made it back. The phoenix left at once.

She thought fast. Severus was too heavy for her to carry but a _Mobilicorpus_ charm should help. She motioned his body so that he could enter the fireside. She grabbed some Floo powder in one hand, the Potions Master with her other hand. Ready, she threw the powder and the sound and rush of green flames told her that she could use it. She moved Severus' body and herself in the fireside. "Hospital Wing !" she hissed. Ms Pomfrey had been back from her holidays and the Headmaster had warned her that Severus could come back any time badly injured. She was ready.

Instantly, she was there. Her hand still grabbed Severus' arm. The _Mobilicorpus_ charm was still operating. She got him out carefully and broke the spell after he was laid gently on the floor. She called Ms Pomfrey and after a few minutes, the medi-witch arrived in haste.

"Oh, Severus !" was all the good woman could utter. But her medical reflexes quickly kicked in and she was all business. She had his body carried to the nearest hospital bed. Now the place was all lit.

Lorena remained by her lover's side. Ms Pomfrey had his clothing removed. The extent of his wounds was revealed to her and she was appalled at them – though she remained silent about them.

"How is he ?" Lorena asked, anxious.

"In a pretty bad shape."

Lorena knew this was only an understatement. She still had his hand in hers. She could feel that his life was very faint. Entering his mind, going deeper into his soul, she searched the small light that should be still shining, though faintly, there.

His pulse was as faint as the light in his soul. Practically non existent. Ms Pomfrey was doing her best to assess the damages to his body – and they were numerous – and to stop the bleeding. He had already lost a lot of blood. At this point, Albus Dumbledore arrived, Fawkes on his shoulder.

"Poppy."

"I'll do my best, Albus. I can't promise anything though. He went through a lot."

"That is ?" though he suspected what her reply would be.

"He's been roughed up like I've never seen a man being roughed up like this. Broken ribs are not the worst but he's got serious burns and cuts, all resulting in important bleeding. He lost a lot of blood because he's been lashed, slashed and tortured for Merlin knows how much time – the duration of his absence most likely. Magical wounds. He has several bones broken on his limbs. His nervous system is a mess due to long exposure to the Cruciatus Curse. That affects his respiratory system and his heart rhythm. He had not eaten and drunk for three days either, which weakens him further more. I'd say that his system's undergoing now a general, massive failure."

She had said all this with a clinical tone yet each of her words sounded with anger.

"Meaning ?" Dumbledore asked.

"She means that he's dying," Lorena said faintly. Nobody had paid much attention to her.

Dumbledore looked at Ms Pomfrey. "She's right," the medi-witch confirmed. "Albus, whoever did that, committed a murder."

"We all know who did that, Poppy." For the first time, Lorena could hear a plea for revenge in the Headmaster's voice. "How much time for him to…" His voice could not go further. _To die._ The death of his Potions Master would be a hard blow for Albus Dumbledore.

"A few days. A few hours, if he's lucky. He won't suffer though if he doesn't come back to his senses. We have to hope that he may die like this. For his sake. Otherwise, it's going to be a very painful agony. Of course, I will sedate him to soften his last moments if he suffers too much. Now only a miracle could get him back to the land of the living."

"As much as I need the information he may have gathered during these three days, especially what Voldemort's reaction was, I don't want him to suffer," Dumbledore said softly. He put a gentle hand on Severus' arm. "He's had a hard life as a spy for us. All I can grant him is a peaceful departure." His voice croaked. "Poor Severus…"

Lorena could hear them talk of the Potions Master as if he was already dead. She was thinking hard. If he had managed to escape Voldemort's grasp, with enough energy to Apparate back to Hogwarts, there was surely something that could be done. She had seen before the small light still fighting in the dark recesses of his mind. It must be there somehow, while everything else looked like scorched earth. Somehow, the protection she had set on him before he left, had been useful. To some extent. It kept him alive up to his Apparition back. But it may not keep him alive from now on.

"I wish to stay here with him, Professor," Lorena asked. "Please."

She could perceive the Headmaster and the medi-witch were looking at each other in silent deliberation. Poppy nodded her consent. "Albus, there's nothing much I can do for him now. If her presence can soften his last moments, there's no problem for me if she stays here with him."

"Thank you, Ms Pomfrey," Lorena said softly. The medi-witch was right. She would do every thing in her power to soften his last moments. Love was a healer too…

_Love is a healer. Love is the most powerful magic ever. Love…_

Lorena squeezed Severus' hand in hers again. No. She would not let it end like this. Medical wizardry was hopeless. It did not use the kind of magic she possessed. It could not save Severus because of its limits. But Lorena knew better. Her own brand of magic tapped in the infinite, powerful reservoir available from Nature. She could convert that energy thanks to her love for him. That was worth the trying.

_I love you, Severus.__ You may not return my feelings but I don't care. The love I have for you is unconditional. I want you to live. Don't you die on me now !_

Lorena sat on his bed. She put one of his hands on her lap carefully. She was about to take his left hand in hers when she felt it was firmly clasped on something. A chain was wrapped around the wrist and to the touch of it, Lorena recognized the Snape medallion. She gently folded his left arm on his chest, so that the medallion was more or less in contact with his heart.

Her own hands were caressing his face now. She could not see it but he had been bruised there. She isolated herself from the rest of the world, focusing only on him. Mentally, through their bond, she began to call him softly. She knew he was there. He had to be there. As long as he was breathing, his heart beating, he was around. He was just lost, disconnected, erring in pain and loneliness. She searched for him in the desolated landscape of his ravaged soul.

Caressing his face, she could feel the cuts and bruises. She knew instinctively that in order to heal his physical wounds, she had to retrieve the faint glowing light of his soul first. Tapping in the healing forces in and around her, she tried to connect with him. She went on, her hands now on his neck and his shoulders. _You're alive, Severus, I know you're here. Come back to us – to me._

Up to that moment, nobody had noticed what she was doing. But when her own breathing began to be shallow and difficult, both Dumbledore and Ms Pomfrey looked in her direction. The Headmaster watched the girl carefully and he knew at once what she had in mind. What her recourse was.

Poppy Pomfrey was about to interrupt her when Dumbledore caught her arm. "No. Let her do."

"But Albus…"

"Poppy, nothing worse can happen to Severus now. Our medicine has already condemned him. Know that Lorena uses a very particular brand of magic. Elemental magic. A very primitive yet powerful magic. Leave her alone." He paused, wondering if he would really betray a secret, now that Severus was dying. "They have feelings for each other. They are bonded together. Let her say goodbye to him the way she deems most fit."

The last argument clinched the matter and Poppy did not insist. She knew that where love was involved, there was nothing much she could do. She retreated back to her office. This promised to be a long day and as there was nothing else that could be done for Severus, she left to grab an hour or two of sleep. She was sad for the Potions Master too. She appreciated him and not only because he brewed the potions needed for her infirmary. She knew of his job as a spy for the Order and she respected him for that. She was among the very few people to witness what he had to go through for the Greater Good, as she was the one that patched him up as he almost never came back from Voldemort unscathed. For her too, he was the bravest man she had ever known. But tonight had been the last straw for him obviously. Sad, sad loss, really.

Albus came to Severus' side. The Potions Master was his friend. As the Headmaster, Albus tried to be impartial between his staff. He had to reckon that Severus was not the easiest man on earth to deal with but the Headmaster had grown fond of him because of the very Gryffindor qualities the man had – though he would have never voiced it. He loved his cold-blood, his capacity to change over time, his bravery, his humility too, besides his academic standing, qualities all too often hidden behind his Slytherin attitude made of arrogance and coldness. The Potions Master had proved invaluable because he was honest, dependable, loyal, capable of sound judgment, observation and intuition.

The old man sat on the chair nearby the bed. _He's too young to die. Not even what ? Thirty-five ? He still had so many things to do on this earth._ He sighed and watched Lorena exerting her own magic on the man she loved. He had gathered what the girl wanted to do. He knew this was worth a try. _The power of love…_ he mused. He knew then why he was still there, at their side. He would let nobody prevent the girl from bringing back his friend.

Now Lorena was grabbing Severus' shoulders, her hands roaming on his bare, pale chest. Her fingers recognized the skin, the touch, back from a night of love that she would treasure till her last breath. She felt the bond strengthening through her contact telepathy. Through the bond, she sent a huge surge of love.

The cuts were deep. They did not bleed any longer but they were still open. To the feel of it, she recognized them as lashes and slashes. _Did they use the _Sectumsempra_ spell on him ? No, he told me that nobody knows about this one, except me and him._ She just registered the fact. She began to focus on the wounds. There were burns as well and her heart ached in thinking of what he had undergone.

Lorena was more and more submerged by his pain. It squeezed her heart but she decided to keep on. She called him silently through their bond, desperate to find him. She sent another wave of love, tapping deep down herself. She plunged deeper into his soul, looking for that small light still shining in him. The light of his soul.

She still caressed his torso, his arms, his belly, marveling as the softness of his skin, which sent her back to that night they had had together, to the love they had made then. Another powerful rush of love ran through their bond, pouring itself into his soul. She could feel that the land around her was less desolated in the landscape of his mind. But that was not enough. She needed to find his light. She went further deep down his soul.

_Do not renounce, it has to be there !_ Lorena went on running frantically around in search of his inner light, calling his name. She was now grasping his body between her arms. _Don't you die on me, Severus Snape ! You can't let it end like this ! You can't let me down !_

Albus, on his side, had decided not to interfere, though he witnessed the whole process with an obvious interest. He had never seen anything like this before – and the old wizard had seen a lot in his life.

Lorena continued her search of the light within him. It must have become particularly faint now and she knew instinctively that if that light disappeared, that would mean he had died.

With a desperate energy, she kept on searching for him in the dry land of his soul. She would search again and again, no matter what. It did not even come to her mind that he was probably dead by now, that the care given by Ms Pomfrey had only kept him alive for an extra few minutes, that the moment Lorena had entered his mind, he was already dead.

_No, that's not possible. Well, I don't know. Communicate that way with the dead ? No, he's not dead. The bond would have broken and it would have been horrendous. Severus, where are you ?_

Maybe she had it all wrong. Where despair was useless, she had to resort to something else. She sent another surge of love. A powerful one, fueled this time by something stronger than despair. _Hope._

Somehow, it clicked. She found the small light eventually. She rushed to it and took it in her hands. It was so tiny, so vacillating, so weak, threatening to collapse into darkness forever. Lorena cried over it. She was determined to preserve it, no matter what, now that she had found it. It embodied all the good in Severus, all his qualities, every thing positive he could be, think and feel. His love and his life force.

She cuddled the small light against herself, like a child. She would do every thing in her power to keep it shining. This time, she sent all she felt for him, every thing she had in herself, deep down, from the higher spheres of her mental and intellect, down to her animal body, to that very place where she had felt the sweet pain of his maleness thrusting in her when he had deflowered her. All the range of energies was focused onto that small flicker of light.

Using the bond, Lorena sent all the energy she had pent-up in her body, all her drive, all her love, all her magic, that elemental magic, all flown in a powerful maelstrom of feelings and raw energy, in order to revive that flame.

Somehow, it did it. The flame grew stronger and stronger between her hands, warming her soul as she was watching it grow. She was reassured that she had found him somehow and it showed as he would try to survive. His soul would be strong enough for the second phase that she intended to perform.

Now, Lorena was all instincts. She was passing her hands onto his pale torso, caressing his shoulders, his neck, his cheeks, back to his torso again, his belly, his arms. Though blind, she could feel his burns, his cuts, the lashes he had sustained. It felt horrible under her palms and fingers, at least as horrible as it could be for eyes to see.

Albus was watching her, fascinated. Fawkes was now perched on the bedhead, attentive too. The old man had the feeling that something was at hand. He could read it on Lorena's face. She had passed from an expression of panic and despair to one of hope and radiance. He had taken it as a good omen. But he was not prepared for what was to follow.

Lorena's face was now contorted with pain. It was as if, from an external point of view, that she felt the same pain as Severus. She did actually and more than that. She was absorbing his pain. The upper part of her body was covering his, in an attempt to have a physical contact as extended as possible with him.

Albus could not believe what he was seeing. Some bruises and cuts disappeared from Severus' face to reappear on hers. After a few seconds, they disappeared. He quickly gathered what phenomenon was at hand.

_She's an empath._

He had already heard of such people but had never seen one in action. He stared at her in utter fascination. _But how is she going to manage the most serious wounds ? Minor cuts and bruises, alright, but what about the slashes ? The burns ?_

Severus' face was back to normal, as if he had not been touched there at all. Lorena had lowered herself onto his body, grasping it with a mix of violence and gentleness. It was as if her whole body was wrapping him with a force. _Elemental magic_, Albus thought.

At one moment, he could see that Lorena's face was distorted by pain. That she was blind made the whole process even stranger as her pale gray eyes, wide open, seemed to shine of a light he had never seen in them. Yet they did not have their usual emptiness, due to her blindness. They seemed possessed by something stronger, more powerful, more compelling.

They were. Now, Lorena was throwing every thing she had into the battle. Severus' body was like a battlefield, a ground she was fighting for, inch by inch, muscle by muscle, bone by bone. She had managed to find and fuel his dying soul. She would not let him die like this. Not without putting up an honest fight first.

As she was processing the more severe burns and cuts, they appeared under her gown, on her body. Albus noticed that her white gown was more and more stained by blood. At the same time, the wounds on Severus' body disappeared or his scars healed gradually. The process took time but it was effective. The pain was now evident on Lorena's face. She was crying too, tears welling up in her eyes, spilling on her cheeks, her mouth uttered moans of pain, but she contained them. Bravely, she continued, no matter what it could cost her. Regularly, after she had processed each wound, she collapsed on Severus' body, sending him love waves after love waves, hoping, still hoping love would restore him. Faint little moans of pain escaped her lips but she kept on fighting for his very life.

Albus thought she was finished after she had collapsed on Severus one more time. But she was not through with her lover yet. Now there was that big slash crossing his abdomen. Lorena roamed her hands over it and this time, pain hit her full force. She let out a louder moan. Albus thought that the wound was probably too much for her to process and he was about to run for Poppy. But he could not let the magic at work be interrupted if that had a chance, the slightest chance, to save his Potions Master.

The pain was so intense now. She could not contain it any longer and a long, painful, guttural cry left her throat. It soaked Lorena's gown with blood. Once again, the _Sectumsempra_ spell came back to her mind. Severus may have not been wounded with it this time but all the same. If she had ever wanted to know what it felt like to be hit with such a spell, now she knew it. An image from the past came back to her. Their first DADA training, when they had dueled. One of their first contacts, a very close contact. He was lying on top of her, threatening her with a _Sectumsempra_. With the same Slytherin cold-blood, she had retorted she would put him on fire, having slid her hand under his frock coat, ready to trigger off fire wandlessly, playing with the double entendre…

Lorena banked on the nice memory, to send another love wave. She needed a powerful one this time. She focused all her energies, summoning all her willpower, all her magic, that precious elemental magic, thinking of the Lughnasadh eve, the love they had made then, every thing positive between her and Severus, to fuel that love and rush it through his battered body.

The scream she let out then had something between a painful cry and a shriek due to orgasm.

The pain was unbearable. But she had resolved that there was no pain he had sustained that she could not put up with. She screamed aloud, terror in her body as she was processing the slash, slowly. She was about to break physical contact but she knew that she had to remain in contact with him. Like their two wands had been, during the ritual. The pain had sent her jolt upwards but she had clamped his wrists in her hands. Eventually, the pain decreased and she found herself sagging on his body, heavily panting, her gown drenched with blood. Her blood.

Her screams had alerted Ms Pomfrey. Her appalled look went from Albus and the girl, in complete puzzlement. She got closer to the bed but Albus prevented her from touching the pair.

"Don't interfere ! Just watch, Poppy."

"But I can't let her continue ! She's going to die if she continues !"

"You have to," he said softly. "Severus has to live." Poppy watched the Headmaster with a look of miscomprehension on her face. The tone of his voice indicated her that he was ready to let the girl die if that could save the Potions Master.

"You'd let her die…"

He cringed. "Not that I'd like it. But Severus is far too precious to die on us like that. Lorena had gathered that already. She's a Slytherin, she's accepted the full consequences of her actions. Besides… she may not die. The most powerful magic ever is on her side. Elemental magic at work. I believe that they will both survive after all, from what I can see."

That was said and Ms Pomfrey obeyed. They watched Lorena keeping on absorbing the pain, processing the effects of the Cruciatus Curse, from Severus' body onto her own. The pain had passed from unbearable to excruciating and she felt how it was to be cast the Cruciatus Curse. She was crying but never her resolve failed, her hands still clinging to his body. She was tapping into the last force that remained in her, that boundless force called love. Faint words escaped her mouth when she was processing the damages…

… _I love you, Severus… My love for you cannot be destroyed… My undying love for you… I belong to you, Severus… I love you… _

She was summoning his soul to tap into the elemental magic around as well, urging it to use her own soul as a jumpstart through their bond. She did every thing to have him tied up to the living again. Her tears were falling on his face, from time to time, her mouth touched his cheeks, her lips brushing his gently. She gave him all she had so that he could live – even if she was well aware she could die in the process.

_I'll die for you, Severus… I love you… even if you do not love me… I still love you…__ You can't prevent love… my undying love for you… I'll die so that you'll live…_

Then, at a moment, when she felt that she had done every thing in her power to restore him, body and soul alike, that he was tied to the living bank of the river of death definitively, she gently pulled out from his mind. She rose from his body and severed the physical contact with him. The bond was still there, very much present though.

Noticing this, Albus felt that the empathy process was over. A few seconds later, Lorena collapsed. Fortunately, Poppy managed to catch her before she could hit the ground. She had her lying on the next bed and tended to her at once.

"Poppy, remember these are not the same wounds as those sustained by Severus. These are of an empathic nature."

"You mean the girl… is an empath ?"

"You saw it by yourself. She's a naturally gifted empath. Have their beds close to each other."

Poppy decided that at this point, in front of magic she had never seen before, she'd better trust the Headmaster's judgment. With a movement of her wand, she got the two beds together.

"Join their hands now, so that their physical contact may not be broken. He may still need her empathy." Poppy did as told. "Now let elemental magic work. There's nothing much we can do anyway than wait."

"Do you realize, Albus, that instead of one dead, we may end up with two ?"

The Headmaster looked at her thoughtfully. "I do. But elemental magic is something very powerful. Plus these two are bonded telepathically. With every thing she put up, I don't think that Lorena's willing to give up the fight. She loves Severus too much to relent."

Fawkes trilled in agreement. Then the phoenix let two or three tears drop on Severus' forehead. He did the same for Lorena. "I'll stay with them, Poppy," the Headmaster said gently while massaging the tears on Severus' forehead first, then on Lorena's. "I'll tell you if something happens to them."

"She's exhausted…" Poppy said, compassion in her voice. "I think I can give her something that could give her strength, so that she could keep on fighting for her and for Severus."

"Now that's the spirit," Albus said with a smile.

* * *

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	28. Love is protection

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**2****8 – Love is protection**

A few hours later, Severus opened his eyes. Slowly. Emerging from a world of pain. The last thing he remembered was his Apparating back to his quarters. As soon as he had felt he was secure there, he had collapsed to the ground, unconscious. He had welcomed the coma with relief, waiting for death to follow suit quickly after. For a definitive rest.

Things were blurred, almost unreal, for what had ensued. He could just feel a sweet presence in his mind – or what was left of it. He had felt a warm rush, as if his soul had been protected, cuddled, loved. He had never felt such a thing ever before. The closest experience he could link that to, was probably when a baby is still in its mother's womb. Of course he had no memories of that but it described best what he had felt then. The sweet presence had taken care of him, comforting his soul, like nobody had ever done before. Not even his own mother.

He had felt powerful waves sweeping over his soul, soothing his mind scathed by the torture he had just endured with the Dark Lord. An intense magic surrounded him. Actually, he had felt protected by a powerful magic. Every time he was cast the Cruciatus, he had held on thinking of that magic, that love he had been sent and given.

Now he was awake and from his previous experiences, his body should be painful, excruciatingly painful. He remembered what had happened to him before. The spells, the Unforgivable cast on him, the rough-up, the torture. But he found out that his body was not so painful.

He even felt a weird sensation. His right hand was touching something that was not his body but that was like a part of him. His mind was still wandering confused. That something he was touching was very familiar to him though.

Severus risked turning his head to his right. And then he saw and gathered why the contact was familiar. He was holding hands. With Lorena. As soon as he had stated her name in his mind, realization dawned on him. She had been the sweet presence that had cuddled and protected his soul. She had been the one to send him these powerful waves of… love ? Powerful magic, for sure. Sweet, soothing, refreshing like a spring… The spring in the cave on Lughnasadh… A body against his own… A canopy of light above them… Desire. Sex. Lust. Pleasure. Love. One name for all of these. _Lorena…_

Then he understood. Her feelings, though unrequited, had granted him a protection without which he would have never made it back. She had loved him so unconditionally that she had been willing to save him from the dark, no questions asked, laying it all on the line, pretty much like he did with that spying job for the Order of the Phoenix. He endured for the Greater Good of the wizarding world. She endured for him only. The scale was different but the thought of it warmed up his lonely heart.

She was still unconscious. He did not understand that part. _Why is she in an hospital bed ?_ His movement had caught Albus' attention. The old man rose from his chair and he put a gentle hand on his Potions Master's shoulder.

"Welcome back, Severus," was all he could say. And for the first time in his life, Severus Snape saw the Headmaster shed tears. "You cannot imagine how happy I am that you're back to us…" he said after long seconds of pure emotion.

"I can see that, Albus," Severus whispered. "Pick yourself up." That was his way to express that he had noticed his friend's tears and emotions. Noticed and accepted them.

"I can see you're still your usual old charming self," Albus commented with a twinkle in his steely blue eyes. "That means you're definitely saved and back to us."

The Potions Master snorted. He realized that he still had Lorena's hand in his – and that he did not wish to release it either. "What about her ? What's she doing here ?"

Albus sighed. "You would not believe me but at least I have Poppy to back me up on that one. Lorena saved your life actually. She brought you here after you had Apparated back to your quarters. You were… our medicine has condemned you, Severus, you have to know that. You were dying. Lorena was still here with us and she used that magic of hers onto you."

"Her elemental magic ?"

"Yes. She's an empath. She took your injuries on her, processing your wounds and pains. Severus, she turned death into a fighting chance for life. Through the bond that the both of you share, she managed to turn the odds on your favor. However… she got hurt in the process as badly as you were, as these wounds she has now… were your wounds."

"You mean… she nearly died for me ? To save me ?"

Albus nodded. "Looks like her magic has protected you during your visit to Voldemort and has enabled you to come back. That's the same magic that enabled her to perform empathy on you. That's the same magic that you shared during the ritual."

Severus knew to read between the lines of what the Headmaster had just said. She had almost given her life to save his own. "She should not have done so. She put her life at risk. Stupidly."

"Come on, Severus !" the old wizard growled. "Don't you dare tell her such a thing ! Besides, there's nothing foolish in sacrificing for others. I think you know the tune on this matter, don't you, Severus ?"

"I do it because you asked me to do it. We have an agreement, you and me, Albus ! I have all the best reasons to do it ! While she…"

"She doesn't have the same motivations, does she ?" Albus interrupted him. "Severus, years ago, you came to me because you wished to protect someone you loved. Lorena acted because she wanted to protect and save someone she has feelings for. You. There's not better reason than this one to do this. Don't look for any other, there's none." He paused, patting his friend's shoulder. "I want you to rest and think about what we just talked, Severus. Be there for her when she wakes up. It'll be the best reward for her, though I know she seeks no reward at all. Pretty much like you by the way. You do not seek money, fame or glory in this job either. You're the bravest man I ever know, the most selfless too. And sometimes, the most stubborn and stupid individual as well. But I think you can deal with that part on your own." The twinkle in his eyes was glinting.

Albus decided he would not give him more arguments. He left the Potions Master to think about his words. He would first of all inform Poppy that one of her patients was awake, hoping that his words would manage to find their way through Severus' sometimes thick skull.

The Potions Master remained silent and thoughtful on his bed. A few seconds later, Ms Pomfrey came to his side, wand in hand. She could not believe it. She could not believe what she was seeing. "Oh Severus…" was all she could utter. "A miracle has happened !"

"So you had condemned me, Poppy ?" he replied in a growl.

"I didn't but our medicine did, that's true. I even told Albus that only a miracle could save you."

"Looks like it happened," the Potions Master replied flatly.

"No, it was not a miracle, Severus. You know it and I know it too." She paused, focused on assessing his wounds. Lorena had not taken care of his broken bones and the medi-witch treated them. "This is a whole different thing. This girl's a natural born healer."

Severus thought about Lorena's wish of career. "She wanted to become a medi-witch… before becoming blind."

"Well, she should persevere. No matter how blind she is, she managed to do it. I saw her perform. I think there's a whole new avenue in medicine waiting for us there to develop it. She could make a real difference. At least, she made a big difference for you."

Severus kept quiet. Poppy was right. At the time the girl had voiced her wish to pursue a medical career, she may not have been fully aware of her talents yet. Now things have changed and the whole experience may also boost the girl's self-confidence towards that path despite her being blind.

He let Poppy finish her work on him. He was still holding Lorena's hand. Thoughts in his mind were still a total mess. Surely the aftermath of the torture. Voldemort and the other Death-Eaters have been particularly in a bad mood this time… It had been a close call for him. He closed his eyes to remember every thing, even the most gruesome as he knew Albus wanted a report.

The Dark Lord had managed to learn that the virgin girl was no longer a virgin. How, that was a mystery to Severus. He was sure of one thing, the Dark Lord had not learned it from him directly through Legilimency. Severus was far too skilled at Occlumency. He had feigned the most complete surprise when hearing Voldemort stating that he had discovered that the girl's virginity was no longer available for him to take it.

This had enraged the Dark Lord and of course, he had claimed his spy should have been informed about it – and kept him informed about it too. Severus knew what this meant for him the second the words had been uttered. He was in for a rough ride, more than he had bargained for. Actually, all hell broke loose on him from that moment on.

Bellatrix had been the first one to cast the Cruciatus with all her hatred she felt for the half-blood. The other Death-Eaters had cast other painful spells for good measure, just for the fun of it and out of resent against the Dark Lord's spy. He remembered to have been dragged to a cell and left there to rot for a few hours before another round of torture.

The Dark Lord had come back later, giving him hell about this part of his plan now foiled – which involved extra Cruciatus curses cast. Severus had carefully concealed in the deepest recesses of his mind that he had been responsible for that situation. No doubt Voldemort would have killed him.

The Dark Lord had left the cell, leaving Severus alone, even more damaged than before. The Potions Master had managed to get his pain vial and drink from it. It helped him and he felt better. But he knew that his potions would not last very long. He had to keep going as he knew that the Dark Lord waited for the very last minute to give him his orders or any other crucial information. He had to cling on.

The second day had been worse. Severus was not fully aware but the magic Lorena had endowed him with was working – he was still alive. He saved his energy for his mental shields, his Occlumency meaning the difference between life and death in his case.

The Dark Lord had come back to his cell and had ranted for almost one hour about the girl and the power he had lost. He had cast several Cruciatus with a cruel laughter each time. Severus had clung to the elemental magic Lorena had endowed him with. He hesitated before using his own extra power, which he had received from the ritual. He knew that Voldemort could perceive this and that would sign his epitaph. He resolved not to use it, relying only on the magical protection given by Lorena before he had left Hogwarts.

But even this raised Voldemort's suspicions. Unless his spy had grown a resistance to the Cruciatus… The Dark Lord did not like physical contact but this time, he touched Severus' body and felt repulsion. A feeling he did not wish to know was radiating from the Potions Master. He had asked Severus about it, between Cruciatus Curses. Severus insisted that he did not know what this was all about. Of course, the reply had not pleased the Dark Lord the least bit. More Cruciatus and he was gone.

Severus had thought then he had to be more careful. However, if he could hide his feelings for Lorena, he could not hide the magic she had given him for protection. There must have been a way to do something about that but now was not the time to really do some research about it. To survive was a more urgent task at hand. Maybe the Dark Lord would let it go after all.

On the third day, after much pain and wounds, Severus got his reward. The Dark Lord had come up with another plan and now he was laying it to his closest followers, including him. Above all him. He was a key part of the plan, though Voldemort had made him understood that he could dispose of his life at will. The details of the plan had been exposed, with various painful spells and Cruciatus cast in for good measure, between each explanation. That was a favorite moment for the Dark Lord. That way he was sure that every instruction he gave was not to be forgotten. Severus knew that but this time, he had no more pain potion left. He could only rely on Lorena's protection and his own endurance. The others took their turns on him, casting spell after spell, burning, lashing, slashing, while he was left without defense, unable to draw his own wand out. He had gone on suffering with fortitude.

Severus was running low on energy now. He knew he had to remain conscious up to the end as he would need to go back to Hogwarts. Then the Dark Lord had sent everyone back. That was the moment. Severus had managed to grip the Snape medallion hanging around his neck, his left fist clenching it with all the force he could muster in such circumstances. Then he had felt the energy radiating from the medallion. Severus had focused all his mental forces on it, in a last burst of energy to Disapparate from the Dark Lord's place. Somehow it had done it as he had managed to come back to Hogwarts. The medallion had worked like a Portkey. Once more, Lorena's elemental magic had saved him.

And now he was, in the Hospital Wing, holding hands with her, her powerful magic having come to his rescue again. He sighed. He needed to better focus on his memories from the Dark Lord. He had been given instructions and he had to relay the whole plan to Dumbledore for further action. Because this time, Voldemort had come up with something really vicious and Severus wondered how they could get away with it this time.

* * *

**_A Death-Eater's life is not that always easy - especially for someone like Severus, who not only is in the highest ranks of the followers, but also plays a dangerous game as a double agent. He needed a little help and protection - I was glad to have sent him someone to do so. He does deserve it, don't you think ?_**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	29. Recovery and Dark plans

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**29**** – Recovery and Dark plans**

A few hours later, Severus was sitting in the Headmaster's office. He felt far better, though he had ingested a fair deal amount of various potions to keep on his two feet : strengthening potions, blood repleneshing potions, bone-mending potions, pain-killing potions, nourishing potions, and all the like. Ms Pomfrey had insisted that he drank all this or else.

Severus had given in if he wanted to give all the information he had collected quickly to the Headmaster. Albus would need time to come up with a counter-plan – and fast. The Potions Master wanted to have the whole thing out of him too. Both men were sitting opposite to each other. Dumbledore had given firm instructions to the gargoyle at the entrance of his office that he should not be disturbed – except by Ms Pomfrey regarding Lorena's condition.

"So, Severus, what's that new plan that Voldemort has come up with ?"

"He was mad to learn that Miss Nottingham was no longer a virgin. Don't ask me how he learned it, that's a complete mystery to me. Two possibilities in my opinion : either he has a tracker on her, either there's a spy here for him."

Albus chuckled. "You are his spy here, Severus."

The Potions Master did not seem to appreciate the joke. "I don't think I qualify. If the Dark Lord had just learned I was indeed responsible for Miss Nottingham's loss of virginity, we would not be here having this conversation together."

"Just kidding you, Severus. Honestly, I don't think he has another spy here. Only you and me and the girl knew about this. The ritual. The cave. No, I'd rather think he has some kind of marker on her."

"Which complicates the matter further." Severus sighed. "The Dark Lord has a dead line this time. We know when he is to strike next time. Halloween."

"Samhain. Halloween," Dumbledore said thoughtfully. "A meaningful date. Well, he usually strikes at this date anyway. It's a bad memory he needs to erase. He needs to make that date a victory each year."

"The Dark Lord has come with a new bright idea this time. He could not get her virginity so he decided for a change in plans. He would still have her and conceive a child with her this time. He kept ranting that in Dark magic, children conceived by force on Halloween, are very useful for other rituals."

Albus leaned on his chair, a worried look in his steely blue eyes. "He's right, unfortunately. Not that I practice Dark magic but I know enough of it to see where all this leads to." He took a deep breath. "A child conceived with a virgin taken by force on Halloween, would have been the pinnacle in terms of power. Of course, even if the girl is no longer a virgin, a child conceived by force on that date would still be of most interest to him. You know what happened to these children then, Severus ? You know enough Dark magic to see the plan."

"I do. The Dark Lord laid it out in front of me anyway. A child conceived at Halloween would most likely be born by Lughnasadh. He thinks he would get its power through a sacrificial ritual on that date. Whether the mother has delivered the baby or not. He doesn't care as both of them are not supposed to live afterwards. Rather gruesome."

"Yes, Tom's cruelty will never cease to amaze me. All this is Dark, very Dark magic. Very gruesome too," Albus replied. Sometimes, he resorted to Voldemort's given name. Tom Riddle. In fact, he was the only one to do so. He had his reasons after all. He had met the boy at his orphanage when he was 11 and about to enter Hogwarts, while Dumbledore was just the Transfiguration teacher there. Long ago. Albus was also the only one to use 'Voldemort' as the name too. Everybody else used the 'You-Know-Who' or 'He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named' stuff, like the rest of the wizarding community. The other notable exception on this side of the Light, was Severus himself who called him 'The Dark Lord'. A habit inherited from his days as a Death-Eater. Well, technically, for Voldemort, he was still one. He could not call him otherwise as the least slip in language in front of the Dark Lord could sign his death warrant. Last but not least, Severus thought that only great, powerful wizards could say the Dark Lord's name. He deemed he was not one worthy of this.

"That means we have to get even more protective with Lorena," the Headmaster said. "Where do you fit in that brilliant plan, Severus ?"

The Potions Master looked at him with his glittering dark eyes. "I'm in charge of snatching and bringing the girl to him, Albus. As a Hogwarts teacher, I'm the closest to her and…" His voice trailed off. "Failure in doing so shall mean my death. He guaranteed it to me this time. He's aware you'll keep her safe within Hogwarts."

The burden on his shoulders was terrible and Albus Dumbledore could feel it too. Once more, there was that choice between two lives. One young girl on one side, his Potions Master on the other side. One with tremendous powers, the other the key Order spy on Voldemort. Sometimes, the Headmaster was tired of all this. He had the feeling that the only choice he had left was deciding between who lives and who dies.

"There must be a way that we could keep the both of you alive and well," he thought aloud.

"At least we know his plan and his very intentions," Severus offered.

"Like for his previous plan regarding Lorena's virginity – which was thwarted."

"That means we can foil this one too," Severus said.

"I suggest we give some thought about it first. It involves some very Dark magic, not one we usually use. We need to do a bit of research first before sharing it with the rest of the Order."

"Albus… please do me a favor."

"Yes, my boy. What is it ?"

"Don't tell the rest of the Order who… deflowered Miss Nottingham. Please."

Albus smiled and promised. He knew how private and shy his Potions Master could be when it came to some subjects. "Your secret is well guarded with me, Severus. You know it. For the girl's sake and yours, nothing will be said as to the identity of the man that did it."

Both men stood up.

"Now do me a favor on your turn, Severus." The Potions Master wondered what wonderful idea had been brewing in the Headmaster's mind. He raised an eyebrow. "Go and spend some time at the Hospital Wing. Go and see Lorena. She needs you there."

Severus said nothing but his dark eyes glowered on the old man. He went out without a single word – a sure sign for Albus Dumbledore that his request will not only be carried out but that it had touched his Potions Master's heart as well.

* * *

When Severus arrived at the Hospital Wing, Lorena had not come back to her senses yet. Ms Pomfrey had begun to worry. She had made some research about empaths and empathic processes. She had even contacted other medi-wizards and medi-witches she knew in St. Mungo's for further information. Only one of them had heard about empaths. He had stated that this form of medicine was far too unstable and dangerous for proper use. Poppy had not expanded on the identity of the empath under her care. Research had informed her however that empaths needed a time to recover that depended on their own recuperating rate. Lorena's vitals were not alarming, she was just sleeping in her bed. Yet, her sleep was not a usual one, her brain presented very active signals.

Severus talked briefly with Poppy about the girl's condition. He owed her his life and now she was laid in this hospital bed – where he should have been indeed. The medi-witch reassured him that none of her vitals were worrying. She was in no danger at all. The girl was just sleeping.

Ms Pomfrey enquired about him. Yes, he was feeling better. Far better. Debriefing with Albus was a way to get the horrors committed by the Dark Lord out of him. Well, partially. Some horrible memories would always stay in his mind. His soul would always be torn. He may conceal the scars on his body but his soul… that was a whole another matter. The medi-witch gave him another strengthening potion which he drank without a fuss.

Once he was done with her, Severus went to the bed where Lorena was sleeping. He drew the curtains around for privacy. He sat on her bed directly, like she had done earlier for him. He sighed, his charcoal gaze on her, gleaming with intensity.

Her features were peaceful. Her long raven hair spread on the pillow. She was a bit pale but otherwise, she looked fine. She had been undressed and now a hospital gown hid her body. Severus glanced around and let his hands touch her abdomen, where he had felt the biggest slash. The wound was still there but it was not bleeding any longer and did not seem to be that deep. That was not his memory – he had the feeling then that his body had been split in half on his midsection.

She looked really relaxed. He glanced another time around before putting his both hands on her temples. "_Legilimens_," he whispered.

He gently entered her mind. He was met by a very intense activity. Her mind was a beehive and he was surprised to find so much bustling around in such a quiet body. He realized that the abilities that had allowed her to heal him, were now working full speed within her. Recovery was in full swing. He moved on and grasped bits of her recent memories. Her anxiety over his absence. Her cold-blood reaction when he had come back. Her despair over his condition. Her frantic search of his own soul. Her taking his own pain and wounds on her. Her tears and body reactions as she was processing his wounds. Yes, that sensation of cuddling and protecting, it had come from her. Above all, her deep feelings for him.

He gently pulled out of her mind. He had seen enough. Enough to trouble him. He was not even sure if he would talk about the rest with her directly.

He took her hand in his. It was warm. Out of a hunch, he brought it to his lips and kissed it. The sensation sent him back to another memory, more precise, more intense. When he had kissed her the first time, after their disastrous Occlumency lesson. He had kissed her wrist, her palm, then her mouth. He was doing exactly the same now. He could not stop his lips from putting slight kisses on her hand, her wrist, her forearm. He felt suddenly hungry for her. He could not resist and brushed his lips on hers.

The kiss was first shy. Then his mouth gently nibbled her lower lip, touching it as if he was grazing a new fruit. The tip of his tongue gently traced the contour of her mouth. He knew she loved when he did that to her. She usually ended up doing the same to him. He had to admit that he missed kissing her awfully. He went on with his caress. She was relaxed and claiming entrance into her mouth was easy. Yes, he had really missed it.

Soon Severus felt that not only his mouth wanted her, but the rest of his body too. He began to have a hard-on. Honestly, the Hospital Wing was not the place for such activities. Ms Pomfrey could show up any time. What would she say if she surprised him straddling the girl, shagging her senseless while she was still out cold ? Yet, the thought of it aroused him even more. Lorena was his woman, his mistress. She was HIS. Who would dare challenge his claim over her ? He had heard in Lorena's memories Albus explaining to Poppy that both the Potions Master and the girl were bonded and had feelings for each other. No wonder if he behaved like a lover with her.

However, he relented about the part of 'having feelings for each other'. Severus disagreed with that part. His body had been used for the ritual, even if he had enjoyed the girl. But feeling something further than a carnal passion for her… No, he could not tell. He had deflowered her with the blessing of the Headmaster. Nobody could rightfully deprive him of what was his.

Except himself. And the Dark Lord.

The thought of Voldemort's plan sobered him up somehow. Severus stroked her cheek. At this moment, he felt she stirred. Her eyes opened slowly. He found them so limpid, with that strange gray glow in them. Yet still so empty.

"Severus…"

"Yes, I'm here."

Her hands touched his arms. "Oh, Merlin… Severus, you're alive !"

"Obviously." _Alive and hard for you_, he could not help thinking.

"Don't poke fun at me !" she rebelled faintly. "You were in a desperate condition when you arrived. You were… you were dying."

"That's why you decided to play that little elemental magical trick on me then ?" he said with a silky voice.

She swallowed. "That was the most logical thing to do. I don't regret a single second what I've done. You're alive. Nothing else is of importance to me. Don't even try to make me think otherwise." Her tone had something definitive that showed him he better not push his luck with her too far. He also remembered Albus' words and decided he would be nice. At least he would try – he was not a nice man.

"Severus… you're here…" Her hands were roaming over his arms, his chest, his shoulders, as if to test he was not a ghost. Then her hands went up to his face. "Let me feel you." He closed his eyes while she caressed his features. She closed her eyes in appreciation too. She had so lovely memories of him. She had not touched him like this since they had returned from the cave, after the ritual. He wanted to put some distance between them but now, all this had been reduced to ashes. She was in his arms again, he was in her arms again.

When she was finished, Severus opened his eyes again. Her face looked contented. He leaned towards her and began to kiss her lips like he had done before she woke up. There was nothing as such as the real deal. Lorena followed him in his kiss, feeling his want, his need, his desire, his lust. She sent him a powerful surge of love. She had discovered that ability and she wanted to use it – above all on him. She had no doubt that receiving was great. Yet giving was wonderful too.

The love wave must have hit its target as Severus intensified the kiss with a groan. He had cast a silencing spell around her bed when he had arrived. Slight moans escaped their mouths as they kissed like mad. Lorena had knotted her arms around his neck while Severus had slid a careful hand under her waist. His other hand was on her breast for a gentle caress. Fifteen days had elapsed since he had had her. He had thought that the distance he had put between them would have been enough to quench his desire. He had to admit he was wrong. He wanted her more than ever. She had lit a fire in his soul and his body that could not be extinguished that easy.

Severus felt she was unbuttoning his frock coat and sliding her hand under. As much as he wanted her now, he took her hand in his and broke the kiss. She smiled at him. "I could put you on fire, Professor…" Her voice was laced with just enough Slytherin cold humor.

Severus smirked. This was one of their private jokes. "You wouldn't do that, would you ? After all that energy you spent on healing my burns… Besides, I believe you already put me on fire."

"Kiss me again then," she said.

"No. I know where this is to lead us to, Lorena. I don't think Ms Pomfrey would be happy if I manhandle one of her charges here."

"Manhandling ? Who talks about manhandling ?" She smiled. "Man… Hand… oh yes… You know how much I love your man-hand-ling, Severus."

Yes, he knew. He knew how much she loved his passion, his ardor, his brutality, the violence he could put in his gestures sometimes. His carnal, animal side. Because somewhere, she was like him, capable of the same passion and violence, she had that same animal side as he had. He was aware that that had made her able to follow him in his desire, his lust, his hunger for her, till his own complete exhaustion.

"When do you think you'll go out ?" He hoped a change in subject would simmer them down.

"I don't know but soon I hope. I long… being with you after all that happened." She put a hand on her midsection, where the big slash had hit him… and been transferred to her. She touched her abdomen and a look of surprise showed on her face. "Wait…" She grabbed his hand and put it there. "When I woke up, that wound still hurt me. Now… can you feel it ? I don't !"

The look on her face was serious. Severus was surprised too. He had touched her there before she woke up. The wound was still there then, real and gruesome enough. Now, it was barely a ridge on her skin. "Looks like it's almost gone," Severus said.

"Yes… Curious that it reduced so dramatically while we were snogging together." She had not finished her sentence that the answer hit her. "That must be it. We sent each other enough positive feelings so that we could be healed. How do you feel ?"

That made sense. "Far better indeed," he replied honestly. "It could be also the pleasure you received while we were… snogging… that improved your condition." He was not sure he could send love or whatever feelings like that. Then he remembered during their Lughnasadh night. The golden canopy that had exited from their wands. It required to be two to achieve that. Their both energies. He also remembered that the ritual granted the virgin's powers to the man that took her. After contact telepathy, was he now turning into some kind of healer or empath ?

_I'm no healer. I'm a murderer. I can bewitch the minds and ensnare the senses. I can brew glory, bottle fame and even stopper death. I'm a murderer, both with my potions and my wand. But in no case, a healer._

Lorena perceived his change of attitude. "Something wrong, Severus ?"

Damn, the girl was far too much perceptive. "No, Lorena. I'm just fine to see I won't be held responsible for your demise." He raised his mental shields when he discovered that they were far too low. Yet, the girl had not taken advantage of him on this point. He was grateful to her for that.

She did not seem to buy it though. _Young but no fool._

"I've got a life debt with you now, Lorena."

"You owe me nothing, Severus. I… When you… feel something for someone, you just want that person to be alive and well, I guess."

Her statement left him speechless. Severus thought he needed a diversion when he remembered what he had in his pocket. He got it out. A pendant hanging on a silver chain. Albus had told Poppy to leave it in the Potions Master's left hand, as he had gathered the jewel was most likely charmed. He was right.

"I think this should speed up your recovery, Lorena." He opened the necklace and put it around her neck. The pendant fell on her chest.

Lorena felt it and recognized it at once. The Snape medallion. "Oh Severus… It belongs to you ! Why…"

The Potions Master was closing the chain, careful not to entangle hair in it. "Now it belongs to you, Lorena. No more silly questions." His mouth was close to her cheek, she could feel his breath on her neck and the sensation was great.

"Severus… It's meant to protect _you_. It was charmed so that it'll protect _you_…" Her voice was pleading.

"No more protests !" he said firmly. "Now it'll protect you instead."

While he was uttering these words, he felt her hand on his face. She dragged it gently to hers and soon he felt her mouth on his for a kiss. Severus wanted to back off but he could not, he just simply could not. Soon his passion took over and he followed her in the kiss, first a shy yet sweet contact, then a real lover's kiss, his tongue playing with hers in an amorous embrace. It would be hard to resist to her but he knew he had to. They had to.

"I don't know how to thank you, Severus, for the jewel."

"I thought you had just thanked me."

"With the kiss ?" She sighed, as if hurt by his comment. "No. I've kissed you because I really enjoy doing so." She was caressing his hair, so silky in her fingers. She had heard so many times the comments about his greasy hair… They were not so, they were just shiny, silky and thin. She remembered his features when she had not been blind. She had always wondered what it would be like to entangle her fingers in his raven locks. Now, although blind, she had the reply to her question. And she liked the reply.

He was silenced by her statement. He could not understand how she could accept him as he was, how she could appreciate him, how she could… love him so unconditionally – as he had read in her mind. He had done nothing in this regard. Despite his talents as a Legilimens, he had not been able to find the reply to this question. Or maybe the answer was too incredible, overwhelming for him to handle.

Severus could not understand how she could see him the way she did. He was not gentle, not kind, not careful. He was brutal, cruel, asocial. He had steeled what little was left of his soul against all the sufferings and unfairness he could see around him. He was a Death-Eater, a murderer. As for the rest of his soul, he had bargained it to Lord Voldemort years ago, to discover he had been cheated in the deal. Now it was too late for him. He was far too deep into darkness. He had gone bad, with no hope of redemption whatsoever.

A part of Severus wanted to scream at her all this. That he was not like she thought he was. Another part of him wanted to protest that indeed he may be what she thought he was. That maybe the very little left of his soul had a bit of the qualities she endowed him with. A part of him wanted to keep her away from him, not to hurt her. Another part of him wanted her badly, so that he could redeem himself.

Maybe the image she sent back of him to him, was what he could have really been, had he not made the wrong choices. That mirror image of what he could have been he could see in her empty eyes, was too much for him to handle. That professor/student stuff was just a pretext. Severus knew it, he was too honest with him to acknowledge it. He could lie to others but not to himself. The truth was elsewhere. The truth was that he could not reconcile what he had wanted to be with what he was. Especially if it were seen in a woman's eyes.

A blind woman moreover. One that had to go beyond appearances. A contact telepath, to spice the thing up. One that would go beyond the surface and peer directly at his soul with her inner eye.

The most difficult part for him to process was that unconditional love. There was no such thing. So un-Slytherin. Yet so powerful. It had saved his life and he could not relate to that part. He did not understand it. It escaped all logic. Or this was a logic that did not match his own logic, the rational, intellectual logic he used on a daily basis.

Why were things so difficult and so complex ? Why was life so unfair ? Though Severus had begun to have his own idea about the second question. However, if he had found things were pretty difficult and complex to handle, he had not imagined yet how they were about to get even more difficult and complex than they were already.

* * *

**I can bewitch the minds and ensnare the senses. I can brew glory, bottle fame and even stopper death.**_** That bit is directly taken from the Potions presentation Severus usually makes to his first-year Potions class, as written in t****he**_**Philosopher's Stone**_**, you have all recognize.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	30. Falling out

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**3****0 – Falling out**

Lorena went out of the Hospital Wing two days later. Despite his resolve to put distance between them two, Severus had willingly come to pick her up there and guide her back to his quarters where she still had her room, till the end of the holidays. He had made it clear that she would go back to the Slytherin girl dorm once there would be other students there, so that she would not be alone. He had agreed to lead her to Diagon Alley so that she could buy her school supplies for the coming year. Albus had been more reassured to know that his Potions Master was with her as her bodyguard. Besides, Severus had to buy stuff for himself too.

The trip had been enjoyable though he showed no more signs indicating they both had been intimate. He was caring but distant. Lorena could understand his motivations and she did not wish to impose herself to him. Inside, she felt heavy but as a true Slytherin, she took the responsibility for her unrequited love. She just could not get rid of her feelings, especially after the Lughnasadh night they had both shared together and the healing session that had strengthened their bond somehow. She was glad it had happened, and grieved that it will not happen any more. Moreover, she was under the impression that the Potions Master still felt something for her in the way he had kissed her when she had woken up at the Hospital Wing.

They came back to Hogwarts and she put all her new stuff into her room. They went together to the Great Hall, for dinner. Severus was still holding her by the elbow to guide her in the corridors, though he knew she could find her way there. He also announced her that they would not come back to Spinner's End as now the beginning of the academic year was too close. He would just get back there to collect their belongings. Nevertheless, he offered her to come with him on the day after. Lorena agreed – she had fond memories of the place.

They went there indeed and Lorena managed to pack up her belongings, which were minimized to be put into a pocket. Severus also seized the opportunity they were alone there to announce her 'officially' that she should not seek to have any more contact of a personal nature with him, except as a teacher and Head of the Slytherin House of course. He meant an intimate contact, as well as a simple physical contact. She just told him that he was the one indeed to seek that contact, alluding to his kissing her at the Hospital Wing. She took it in an aloof, Slytherin manner.

Yet, inside, she was crushed. Her love for him would become a very heavy burden to carry, especially if she had two years to spend at Hogwarts with him around. But she was responsible for the strong feelings she nurtured for him and could not decently blame him for them. In about ten days, she would be back to the Slytherin dorms and would see him only during class. For the time being, he would have to share his quarters with her, and have their meals together with the staff that had stayed over the summer or just come back.

They came back silently. Of course, Severus was aware that his end of the deal would be hard for him to keep. When they Apparated back to Hogwarts, he held her even tighter, as if he wanted to enjoy her contact for the last time. He made himself violence not to kiss her once in the dark dead end alley at Spinner's End. But he knew that was the best decision for the both of them. He was sure that Lorena understood the multiple reasons behind the decision. Well, _his_ decision. The young woman had had no say and had to obey him – which she did without a fuss. Severus knew she loved him. She had proved it to him on several occasions. He knew she was hurt and he praised her deep down himself that she had accepted _his_ decision with respect and maturity. The loss would be even more aching for him but he crushed inside his heart the little feelings he had for her in a cruel, ruthless fashion.

On the day after, Lorena decided she would not go to the Great Hall for breakfast. Sure she had felt bad after their discussion at Spinner's End. She had enjoyed the love they had made together but somehow, she now felt she had been used. She had no idea that Severus felt pretty much the same. Most of all, she would miss the intimate connection on a higher level – sentimental, intellectual, spiritual – she had shared with him at Spinner's End. A bond she still had with him, especially since there was a life debt between them.

However, her not having breakfast was due to a real physical condition. She had recovered from the empathic process she had used to save Severus' life. But this morning, she did not feel good and the thought of food made her feel even worse. She stayed in bed and waited for him to leave his quarters to get ready.

She felt better after half an hour spent retching in the bathroom. She still had food in horror and barely touched her plate at lunch and dinner. Severus, that sat right opposite to her, had observed at once that something was wrong with her. He made a mental note of this and promised himself to check on her. Probably the girl had taken it badly their 'falling out'. That would pass.

Unfortunately for the Potions Master, it continued. As the young woman said nothing, he would keep on checking on her. When he asked her if she was fine, she would reply invariably that she was. When it came to that subject, she was distant, almost cold. Then she perceived that he was more observing of her. She felt bad about this after what he had told her at Spinner's End. He wanted only a professional contact, he would have. She had resolved to tell him nothing of a more personal nature.

A week before the return of the other students, after a conversation between them two had turned into a row, Lorena decided to leave his quarters definitively and go back directly to the Slytherin girl dorm. She was to go back there after all. She had just anticipated the moment. Severus was worried suddenly but she assured him that she could manage to be on her own. She stood by her decision firmly and began to pack her things without a word for him. House elves helped her bring her stuff there and she left Severus without any further delay, just telling him she would see him during class only. The coldness of her voice said it all. She meant it.

She had perceived his change in attitude but she had decided to give him no longer purchase over her. She even told him that despite her feelings for him, nothing would ever be possible between them. He was right indeed that what had happened between them over the Summer, should be quickly forgotten in the limbos of memories.

Lorena was angry after him for his double playing with her, but she had decided not to show it. Her last words for him before she left his quarters were that he had to inform himself the Headmaster that she was moving back to the Slytherin dorm – which he construed as a mean way for her to exert some kind of revenge. She still loved him but she had decided to behave with him in a very Slytherin way, leaving a Potions Master much more disturbed than he would have thought first. Yes, as Albus Dumbledore had told him during their post-ritual debriefing, he had grown to care for her. And maybe more than that.

Severus informed Albus of the girl's present whereabouts. The old wizard said nothing as he could see that his Potions Master was in a very foul mood. No need to aggravate him any further as classes were to resume soon. If Dumbledore could not get answers from him, he may get them from the girl. That was worth the trouble after all. Maybe she needed help and a bit of counseling. But the young woman did her best to remain the least visible. She avoided contact with anybody as much as possible, spending the whole day in the Room of Requirement, playing music on her violin and the piano there. Professor Severus Snape had been her first love – and he still was the man she loved – but she tried to forget this in the music.

Lorena was feeling bad physically in the mornings but at least, there was nobody around to check on her incessantly. Lunch time was a bit better and dinner time was almost fine, though she was not eating a lot. She looked paler and that was enough to trigger off an alarm in both Albus' and Severus' minds. Naturally, as Severus was her Head of House, he would have to make the first move.

On the last evening before the student body came back, he caught her after dinner as she was leaving the Great Hall. Severus had left the dinner table in anticipation and was waiting for her in a dark corner of the corridor leading to the Slytherin common room. He caught her arm and put a hand on her mouth to prevent her from shrieking. Then he dragged her further, pushed her against the wall and cast a silencing spell around them so that nobody could hear what they would say.

Lorena had recognized the hands that had seized her, through both the physical contact and her telepathic abilities. She was still bonded to Severus. She had been surprised and afraid for the first few seconds. Once her surprise gone, she was now angry with him.

"Severus ! What are you doing ?"

"Trying to have a nice, civil, little conversation with you."

"Then get your hands off me ! Let me go ! Severus !"

Severus was still holding her tight between him and the wall. She could feel his body, his warmth, his strength. It felt so good. "Not till I tell you what I need to tell you."

"I thought you didn't wish to have any physical contact with me ! Besides, after what you told me in your home, I think you have nothing more to tell me. Severus, let me go !" She did not even try to push him back. She just grabbed his robes, her hands on his chest, more to hold onto him than to repel him. Severus had noticed that as well as how her body seemed to mold to his own so easily. She asked him to let her go while her whole body was claiming him. Despite her firm resolve, there would be things very difficult to contain…

"I have a few things to tell you, Miss Nottingham. First, you have to address me as 'Sir' or 'Professor'. The students will arrive tomorrow. As for a conversation together, I can ask you any questions I deem fit anytime. Do I need to remind you that I'm your Head of House ? As such, if I notice one of my students seems to have a problem, it's my duty to know what's going on."

He had reverted to her surname. Lorena took it as a cue he was in full teacher authority mode. Though she loved the way he could exert his power over her. However, he was right. "I have no problem, sir," she said softly, fully aware he may wring the truth out of her. For a second of two, she wished the Occlumency lessons had continued. He had the means to enter her mind at will to get what he wanted to know.

However, she was not deprived of her own abilities. She raised her mental shields to prevent him from probing her mind. He felt it but decided to set aside the issue.

"I think you do have a problem. You've been obviously sick since early last week up to now. You barely eat your plate and you do not even have breakfast."

"The house elves bring it to me in the dorm."

Severus decided it was time to start to put pressure on her. "I checked with the house elves. They never brought you whatever in your dorm. Don't. Lie. To. Me," he said with a soft yet dangerous tone in his voice, detaching each word. "So, what is it ?" he asked, pressure in his tone.

Lorena remained stubbornly silent.

"Keep in mind that I have various means at my disposal to get the truth from you."

"You mean Veritaserum ? Legilimency ? Or simply… violence ? I know what you're capable of… Professor." Her voice held irony, even mockery.

"Don't tempt me," he snarled.

"Then don't forget I have means to defend myself too." Saying so she slid a quick hand under this frock coat, under his robes. He knew what that gesture meant for her. For them both. They had joked about it enough.

"No more of this game with me, Miss Nottingham. I can do wandless magic too. You'd be amazed." He enjoyed her surprise and fast as lightning, he grabbed her wrists. She let out a small scream. "Now you tell me what's going on !"

Lorena moaned under his tight grip. "You're hurting me !"

Severus did not care. "Then tell me ! Answer me !"

Lorena had to accept that he had the advantage. She suddenly felt vulnerable in front of him. He pressed his body even more against hers. The sensation was too much for her. She had perceived right from the start that with his hands, he could use his body to give pleasure or inflict pain. "I suppose… I'm a bit anxious to start the year." Her tone was too sheepish to be honest. Severus did not buy it.

"You lie." Suddenly, he released her wrists and seized her head with his hands. "_Legilimens_ !"

Lorena screamed under the assault. It was the same pain that she had felt during their first Occlumency lesson. She tried to disentangle herself from him but Severus had pinned her body with his own weight against the wall. The assault was brutal, ruthless, like a rape. Tears began to roll on her cheeks under the pain in her mind. With all the energy she could muster, she sent him a powerful love wave, hoping it would stop him. Besides, it would probably hide what she did not want him to discover.

The love she had sent him reached Severus. It had reinforced her mental barriers too. But he was stronger and his willpower overwhelmed her mental defenses quickly. He launched another attack on her mind and she could not resist all the brutality, all the violence he had put in it.

"I… I'm… pregnant !" she surrendered eventually, before sagging on his chest, between his arms. She had said this aloud, it was not even something he had heard in her mind as she had carefully concealed it. But the pain had been too much and she had voiced it. A painful cry.

Hearing this, Severus backed off from her mind and released her head from his hands. Now she was crying against him, silently, her body shaking. The Potions Master wondered if he had heard well, if this was not another lie. Not this time. He knew she had spoken the truth. It dawned on him too that he had used the telepathic equivalent of the Cruciating Curse on her. On the last person in the world he would want to torture.

_Is this the kind of power the Dark Lord is after ?_ Of course, he knew the answer. The three Unforgivable Curses requested the use of a wand but this time, Severus did not need to resort to his wand. His mind had been enough. Of course, it required a skilled Legilimens but the Dark Lord was that already.

He closed his eyes as the realization sank in him slowly. He did then the only thing that came to his mind to soothe the young woman he had so brutally assaulted. He hugged her against him, squeezing her, whispering comforting words to her ear, cuddling her, caressing her hair, stroking her shoulders. "It's over, Lorena, it's over." Without thinking, he had reverted to her given name.

Past the discovery he had just made about his new telepathic powers, he thought about the other revelation. The girl was pregnant. This was not possible. They had not had sex together since they had come back to Spinner's End after the ritual. Since he had given her the powerful 'Draught Against Unwanted Tomorrows'. Something was strange. Maybe it was not _him_. Not _his_ child.

Severus needed to make sure that this was not possible. She had drunk the 'Draught Against Unwanted Tomorrows' in front of him. Maybe the preparation was stale and had lost its potency. No, it could be kept for six months and he had brewed it three months ago on Poppy's request for a student. The dose he had given to Lorena came from the same batch. It had been alright as afterwards, the medi-witch had kept him posted that there would be no unwanted tomorrows for the girl involved. He knew that his potion had not failed.

Well, why then had it failed her - him – in this particular case ? Searching for an answer had led him to another question. Yes, life was indeed complex. It just threatened to get even more complex than needed.

* * *

**_More problems coming for both Severus and Lorena. Stay tuned, this is only the beginning !_**

**_For all those out of there who are geniuses and wizards with drawing and photo-manip, please feel free to use my work to spur your imagination - just provide me with the link so that I can admire your work and leave a review for it._**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	31. Unwanted tomorrows

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**3****1 – Unwanted tomorrows**

Severus led Lorena to the Hospital Wing. He wanted to make sure that the young woman had said the truth indeed – though he knew she had. Ms Pomfrey would be a strong ally in unfolding the truth too. Lorena may evade his question but not those of the mediwitch. Last but not least, he was truly worried about her health though he carefully hid it. Being a Head of House had its advantages.

Before they reached the infirmary, Severus had regained his composure. Lorena was still sagging against him, her body trembling a bit. He needed to think about this new situation. The issue of a baby on its way has already changed the deal regarding the Dark Lord's plans. The Potions Master was thinking ahead – all he could see was how complexity had taken a step higher.

"What happened to her ?" she asked. "Looks like she had just received the Cruciatus Curse."

Severus' face remained unreadable. How the mediwitch had been able to jump to that conclusion ? _You fool ! She patched you up so many times after you've been submitted to the Cruciatus Curse, she's able to recognize it a mile away !_ he scolded himself.

"I think she just had a bit of a nervous breakdown. She just confessed to me that she's pregnant."

Poppy's gaze was no more relieved. _Confessions, with Professor Severus Snape ? Hmmmm. Rather extortion, I'd say._ She was shocked by his coldness. _If they are both bonded whatsoever, if they have feelings for each other, I'd bet my first wand that he's her child's father !_

Poppy was not one to be judgmental but she knew that the girl was in for big problems inside the wizarding community. She sighed silently and turned her attention to Lorena. She led her to the room where she carried away examinations. Severus was left alone in her office. Poppy knew better : a good conversation with the girl would prove more efficient than anything else and bring her all the information she may need. Of course, she informed Lorena that she would have to report to the Headmaster. The girl said nothing. She was still trembling from the brutal encounter with the Potions Master.

"Now, Lorena, I need to speak to speak with Professor Snape. I guess you know the reason why. The Headmaster hinted that you're both involved together." Poppy was not aware of the ritual. It had been a well kept secret between Lorena, Severus and Dumbledore. Well, the secret would be no longer a secret.

"He's my child's father," she said softly.

Poppy swallowed at the admission. "Indeed. I knew you were both more of less involved together. I ignored to which extent. Now I guess I know. I mean, I need to keep him posted about this. He's your Head of House."

Lorena nodded and went out. She had Severus' handkerchief in hand. The Potions Master noticed it. His heart in his chest tightened.

"Severus, may I have a word with you ?"

The Potions Master watched the mediwitch. "Just stay here," he told Lorena firmly. Wordlessly, he followed Poppy and closed the door behind him.

"Severus, I confirm Miss Nottingham is pregnant indeed. But she told me something rather… disturbing. That you're the father. Is that true ?"

"I can't reply to this question, Poppy. I don't think it'll change anything from a medical point of view anyway. I will report only to the Headmaster concerning other aspects – if required."

"Well, why would she lie to me then ?"

"No idea."

"Severus, when you came back from the Death-Eater meeting, barely alive, she performed a very strong magic on you. I don't know much about it, about that elemental magic like Albus described it. But he hinted that you were both bonded and involved. Hence my question."

The Potions Master glared at her. "I will report on this matter to the Headmaster only. Keep focused on the medical side of the problem !"

Poppy Pomfrey was not a woman easily afraid. Not even by a Death-Eater-turned-spy-for-the-Light-Side. She could stand on her own and even be the most stubborn woman around when it came to her charges.

"Severus Snape ! The medical side, as you put it, also deals with the psychological impact on a patient. That's why I won't let you weasel your way out on this one !"

"We're talking about a personal issue that doesn't concern you at all !"

"We're talking about a young girl, not even 18, blind, who happens to carry your child ! Didn't it even cross your brilliant mind which ordeals wait ahead for her in our world as an unwed mother ? And the child ? What about the child ? Did you think about it ?"

"If you're alluding to my probable responsibility in this regard, I repeat, this aspect is none of your business !"

"It is ! You could have given her something to prevent this. After all, you're the one to know. You're the adult. She was just an… innocent girl !" She paused. "Potioneer !" She had spat the word with contempt.

At least this provided an opening. "I remind you that Miss Nottingham is 17, she's an adult in our world. As for preventing this situation, I did give her something. She may have not followed my instructions and just discarded the potion."

"So you admit you're involved ?"

"Do I need to remind you that I'm the one who brews the potions you need in this castle ? Do I need to remind you that I'm the Head of her House ? I'm involved because she's under my care."

"Under your…" Poppy kept the comment for her but left the ironic innuendo fleeting around, an obvious sneer on her face. "What did you give her by the way ?"

"The 'Draught Against Unwanted Tomorrows'. From the same batch you had needed about three months ago." He paused. "It worked. So don't tell me that I failed my preparation either."

This time, Poppy could not say a word. "It remains the issue of the magic she has performed on you while being pregnant. It may have had consequences on the child she carries."

"I'll enquire for you if you need the information. In the meantime, as the Head of the Slytherin House, I'll have a talk with Miss Nottingham and the Headmaster as soon as possible. Keep focused on her medical condition. End of the story !"

Severus was about to leave the room when the mediwitch stopped him. "Wait, Severus ! I'm not through with you yet. This girl… she came here as if she had been… Cruciated ! Any explanation ? Any idea ?"

The Potions Master had already a hand on the handle. He slowly turned his head towards Poppy. "Do you suspect me to have cast an Unforgivable on one of my students ?" His eyes were glinting dangerously.

Poppy went on unfazed. "No. But I patched you up enough times to recognize its effects. Even in their slightest forms. She was shaking like someone who had just been cast the Cruciatus. Besides, you're the Dark Arts expert here. Consider my question as one to seek the truth, not to judge you. Severus…" Her tone was more gentle. "I know what you're doing for us. I'm not your enemy. Nobody is here. Don't forget it."

Severus took her last words as a peace offer. "I won't, Poppy." Then he left the room and went to Lorena. "Miss Nottingham ! We have to talk. You come with me to my office. Now !" His tone was harsh. Poppy sighed. The man was ruthless.

The girl said nothing. She rose from her seat, a sad, panicked look on her face. Severus grabbed her elbow firmly, more to prevent an escape – though he knew she could not go far – than to guide her through the corridors.

_This man's a demon, I could swear it !_ Poppy thought. _He may do whatever he can for us, but he's still a demon of the Dark Forces. Poor Lorena ! But how come a gentle soul like her could fall for a man like him, so cold, so dark, so cruel, so ruthless ? Go figure. And now, with a baby in the making… things are worse indeed._

* * *

As soon as they were out of sight from Ms Pomfrey, Severus had released Lorena's elbow to grab her wrist in a tight grip. Now he was walking in front of her, dragging her behind in corridors and stairs, regardless of her blindness and present weak condition. She tripped several times, clutching his arm with her free hand to avoid a nasty fall, trying to keep up with him, while he still walked in his usual stride. She was out of breath when they arrived at his office. At no moment, he had stopped, nor even slowed down. She could feel he was more than angry. Furious. No. More than that. She felt wrath. Sheer wrath.

Once in front of his office, Severus removed the wards so that they could enter, then he pushed her inside quite brutally. He closed the door behind him, put the wards back into place, cast a silencing spell on the room. Lorena could not see all this but her trained senses told her that she was his prisoner now. She had landed on the floor and was still laying there on the cold dungeon stones that paved his office. She tried to catch her breath, her wrist was painful and she wondered what had happened to the Severus Snape she had known at Spinner's End and in the cave. It could not be the same man. She knew he could be ruthless but during her first five years at Hogwarts, he had never been so brutal with her.

Then silence fell around her. Her cheek still against the floor, Lorena was attentive to the slightest sound that could inform her what the Potions Master was up to, what his next move would be. She assumed he had remained motionless.

He had been. Severus was now watching her, anger glinting in his dark eyes. He detailed her body, that body he had possessed with utmost ecstasy. A body that now carried his child. For long seconds, he contemplated taking her there, whether she consented or not, ramming his huge cock in her brutally so that she could lose the baby. But if the little life she harbored had survived the powerful potion he had given her, no doubt it could survive anything else – unless he killed her. And of course, Severus did not want to kill her.

With a swift movement, Severus was nearby Lorena. He grabbed her arm to get her on her feet. She shrieked out of surprise. He pushed her against the closest wall, roughly.

"Now, you're going to tell me the truth ! I don't care what you told Ms Pomfrey, but you're going to tell me the truth ! How did that happen ?"

Lorena was afraid but she buried her fear deep down her mind. "Happen what ?" she asked him defiantly.

"The matter of your pregnancy !"

"Well, the usual way I guess," she replied with sarcasm. "Like it had been since ages between a man and a woman."

"Keep your wit for you, Miss Nottingham. I just want the truth !" His voice was downright dangerous.

"I believed you had already read it in my mind when… when you…" The word was difficult to voice but it was the closest to reality. "When you raped my mind !"

Her empty pale gray eyes were full of determination and anger.

"Your choice of words is not appropriate. I could show you what rape really is and after that, you could compare notes. Now the truth !" Not only his voice was dangerous but it had a vicious undertone in it.

Lorena swallowed at his cruel comment. She could not believe what she had just heard. Professor Severus Snape raping her ? But where has the sensual, passionate lover gone ? She shivered at the idea that he could carry out his threats. They were alone in his office and knowing the man, he must have had cast a silencing spell on the room, a locking charm on the door and a whole series of isolating wards. She had perceived he _could_ and _would_ indeed. She hid her fear as much as possible.

"You saw me take that 'Draught Against Unwanted Tomorrows', didn't you ? I drank it in front of you ! Unless your potion was stale ? Or maybe you botched it up ?"

Severus could not deny he had seen her drink it. She had, and without making a fuss.

"No, it wasn't stale and I didn't botch it up, as you put it. It had worked previously on one student here." He paused, considering various arguments. "The Draught is efficient for 48 hours after drinking it, as I had explained to you already. Maybe you had sex with someone else than me after that time ? Someone else that got you pregnant. Who ?" His tone was maliciously scathing.

Hurt reflected on Lorena's face. Her lips parted as if she wanted to say something. She swallowed. "How… how dare you say such a thing ?" _I love you, Severus !_ She felt he was close to her. A powerful rage was rising in her. She began to hit him on the chest with her fists. Severus was surprised but he managed quickly to grab her wrists to control her.

"How dare you say such a thing ? You know you were the only one that… got me ! Don't you remember ? There was nobody before you, and nobody after you !" She was really angry and Severus had to admit that she was beautiful when angered.

"Unless you think I should give the credit of all this to your house elf while we were still in your home ? There was no other man than you there in my midst ! As here… Should I credit the Headmaster ? Or Mr Filch ? Or any other male teacher ? Unless you suspect one of the teenagers from Hogsmeade ? I haven't been there since we're back. Kids… I'm not interested in teenagers and you know it." She paused a second. "The only man that has caught my interest is you, Severus ! You're the only man I…" She could not say more and took her face between her hands, as if to hide herself behind them.

She went on ranting – Severus let her do in silence. "It's all your fault ! That idea of ritual, it was yours, not mine !" Tears began to well up in her eyes. "I was… innocent… you brought me to your house… so that you could keep an eye on me… so you said… instead of that, you… you… took advantage of me ! You abused me ! You… raped me !"

She bent her head, now crying openly. Severus was not happy with her last comment. "That's not the impression you gave me, Miss Nottingham. You were perfectly consenting. You seemed to me that you had enjoyed it very much. You had even asked for more, if my memory serves me well. Ten times !" He pressed her tighter against the wall, one of his legs between hers. Out of reflex, without thinking, Lorena spread them a bit, as if to welcome him. "And from what I can see, you're ready for another round with me. So much for me raping you ! You may say 'no', but your body says 'yes' !"

Severus had uttered his reply with scorn, almost contempt. He also felt he was threading on a thin line, he was about to give in to his own lust. After all, she was already pregnant…

Lorena must have felt this somehow as she shoved him away from her suddenly, in an attempt to escape his embrace. She had put so much energy in it that he was surprised by her movement and she escaped him momentarily. But Severus had for him to see and know the place. He quickly got a grab of her again, this time holding her tight against him, her back on him. She fought like a wild cat but he had imprisoned her between his arms. He pushed her against his desk, his own body pressing her there, as if he was to crawl on her back.

"Let me go ! Let me go ! Severus !" She resisted but it was futile, he had secured a strong grip on her. "Please !" He would not give in, he was taller, stronger, heavier than her. She breathed heavily under alarm after that unfair fight. She just sagged under him. She was at his mercy, thinking he would show none. "Severus… please…" she moaned softly. _I love you, Severus…_ As she was thinking these words, a powerful wave of love escaped her and hit him. He knew she was right. She did not lie. He felt her sobbing under him.

He removed himself from her and dragged her roughly to face him. Tears rolled on her face. Her pale gray eyes had a strange light in them. She was not surrendering. Not yet.

"Do you think… that I did all this… on purpose ?" she said with a broken voice. "I'll be 18 in a few days… I have no resources… the only family I have is in jail… I have two years of schooling left before graduating… and I'm about to have this baby !" She swallowed. "I didn't want this… How could I do to raise it ?" She paused. "What am I going to do ? I'm blind ! You hear ? BLIND !" she cried in despair. Revolt as to her condition could be heard too.

For the first time, Severus heard her complain about her disability. She had never done so before. She had always given the impression that she could manage to live with it – she did not have the choice anyway. But this time, Severus could hear the confession of her limits clearly. Lorena sagged against him, sobbing all she had on his chest, one of her arms around his neck in a tender embrace.

Severus was moved by her obvious distress. Of course, she had not planned that situation. She had been compelled to that ritual, consenting to it only because it could deprive the Dark Lord of a potential weapon. Now she was the only one to pay the high price. He squeezed her against him in a very close embrace. "It's okay, Lorena, it's okay…" he whispered to her, cradling her against him.

She repelled him. "No ! It's not okay !" She had stopped crying, her voice was hard now. "Ms Pomfrey told me… and I believe her… that here in the wizarding world… unwed mothers are objects of contempt… and their children considered like… bastards ! What am I going to do now ? Now… with that baby… what am I going to become ?"

She lowered her head in utmost despair. "This is my world ! I don't want to leave it and go back to the Muggle world... But I don't want to live like an outcast here either… Not my fault… not my fault…"

Severus was well aware of that. The girl would be left to fend for herself in the wizarding community. No money, no family connections, no status, nothing. Except a child in tow and her disability. It would be a shame that such a talented witch be cast aside by society. He could see her future and it was grim : she would end up in destitution, probably trying to make a living as a prostitute in Knockturn Alley. He could not let this happen, above all as he was responsible for her condition.

"Lorena… shhhh… We'll find a way…" Severus tried to soothe her. He had become again the gentle, caring man he had been during their stay at his home. He caressed her cheek gently, dabbing her tears gingerly. She could feel his warm breath on her skin.

"Severus… Severus… what will happen… to me ?"

"We'll find a way. We'll talk to the Headmaster. As soon as possible. Tomorrow, before the student body arrives. I promise you."

"He's going to expel me if you tell him !"

"No, he won't. He'll have to hear what I have to say before." Severus knew he had to talk to Albus about this new situation. "Honestly, I don't think he will expel you for that motive."

The Potions Master knew the old man would not as the issue of her safety required that she stayed in Hogwarts whatever happened. Besides, the baby having been conceived during a magical date, the Dark Lord would be interested in having it for his Dark magic purposes. From now on, both mother and child would have to be protected. Last but not least, Voldemort had requested Severus to bring him the girl. The Potions Master knew he could not let the Dark Lord have his way with both his woman and his child. Something had to be worked out in this regard.

"Oh, Severus… Just… just take me in your arms !"

"You're already in my arms, Lorena." He hugged her closer, stroking her raven hair. She coiled herself against him, seeking comfort against him. He could be violent with her yet he was the only person to be able to comfort her as much as she needed. They remained as long as required for her emotions to subside.

"Lorena… Do you want to sleep here ? With me ? I mean… in my bed, just sleeping in each other's arms, nothing more."

His resolve to be distant was fading away. He had perceived her need of him which echoed his own need of her.

"Yes, Severus… please… You're the only person that can comfort me," she whispered. _I love you._

The Potions Master led her to his rooms. She removed her shoes and her dress and remained in the long white shirt she was wearing under. Severus said nothing – had she been naked, he would not have resisted his lust. The Snape medallion was hanging between her breasts above her shirt, casting a strange glow. Yet he was moved by her beauty and her frailty.

"Lorena…" he took her between his arms. He wanted to apologize for his earlier brutality. But the words could not go out. He just hugged her closer to him.

She perceived his unsaid request. "Severus, I..." She wanted to tell him about her feelings but the words could not make it out. She could not forgive him yet. She had been utterly afraid of him and angry after him. She felt too much revolt and despair as to her condition. Yet, she caressed his cheeks and put a delicate kiss on his lips. He felt he would not have any forgiveness for the time being but deemed that the kiss was a good start anyway.

Severus removed his shoes and clothes and they slid themselves under the blankets. He opened his arms and gently invited her to come and sleep against him, making himself comfortable for her. Lorena coiled herself against him, her head on his chest, one arm spread around his waist.

For the first time since he had become a professor at Hogwarts, Severus realized that Lorena was the very first woman to grace his bed there. The young woman had the same thought too. She had shared his quarters but it was indeed the first time she shared his bed.

* * *

**_I hope I kept Severus in character. I can imagine him being prone to violent outbursts, given his miserable childhood, his days as a Death-Eater (he must have not only witnessed but also done things - and may still do), he's under a considerable stress as a spy for the Order._**

**_I also hope that Poppy is in character too - I think she's the kind of woman not to be easily impressed._**

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	32. The unforgivable deed

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**3****2 – The unforgivable deed**

Lorena woke up with a strange sensation. The bed was different and she knew this was not her bed. There was a weight on her body. A warm, comforting weight. All the events from the previous evening came back to her. She was in Severus' bed and he was the weight on her body. One of his legs was between hers while the upper part of his body was covering hers partly, a firm arm rounding her waist.

Lorena knew nothing had happened between them. She still had her long shirt on. She wanted to leave his room silently, even if she enjoyed his warm presence somehow. She tried to disentangle herself from his body but all she got was his arm embracing her in an even stronger grip than before. She was a prisoner. His prisoner. _How can somebody be still so strong even when asleep ?_ she wondered. Though that grip of his was something she liked too.

She tried to move again but Severus woke up, tightening his grip around her even more. She felt his breath on her neck changing rhythm and realized he was awake now. He kissed her cheek and his body moved even more on top of hers.

"Let me go, Severus…" she pleaded. "I have to go. Please."

He said nothing but his mouth on her cheek reached her lips and drowned her request. She tried to repel him but her hands grasped his arms and her tongue found his. The kiss intensified. Lorena tried again to push him back when she felt his body moving onto hers, his both legs now between hers, his thighs nudging hers apart.

"Please, Severus… no…"

"You want this, Lorena. As much as I do." Lust could be heard in his deep, silky voice. A dangerous voice.

She did not want this really. Lorena was still afraid of his reactions. Especially when he had threatened to rape her. Their row of the evening before had left its mark on her. She tried to push him away. "No… let me go… please, Sev…" He took her mouth and silenced her with a deep kiss that moved something powerful in her.

Wandlessly, he cast a _Disvesto_ spell on them both. Lorena screamed as she felt the direct contact between their skins.

"Severus, you had promised me… yesterday evening… nothing would happen… please…" Her voice showed she was afraid of him.

"That was yesterday evening. I want you, Lorena. My body needs yours. Now ! You're mine !" Saying so, his hands began to caress her breasts. The Snape medallion was still there. His gaze glittered. "You wear the Snape medallion. That makes you a Snape property. You're mine !"

"No… please…" Tears began to well up in her eyes. She loved the man, but she just did not want to have sex with him now. Not after what had happened between them the evening before.

"You want it as much as me ! Let me make love to you. I've missed this awfully." Severus kissed her lips again. His hands clasped her wrists in a forceful grip, so that he could control and tame her, bend her to his will and lust.

"No ! Let me go ! Let me go ! Please !" she screamed, while trying to disentangle herself from him – to no avail.

Severus accessed her tongue and her body. He took them both with an equal, brutal ardor. He was not gentle in his possession. He could feel the powerful waves of love she was sending him in a failed attempt to beg him to stop. Of course, she had felt his need, his longing, his lust, for her. She just did not share them at the present time. One month Severus had not made love with her. He had thought he could forget her and put aside everything that had happened between them. Despite his decision to break with her, he still wanted her like never before. She had slept in his bed and he knew he could get her, be ready for her, with his usual morning hard-on. He could and would take her no matter what.

Severus made her scream under his powerful thrusts. He was ramming in her with his huge cock, spreading her legs wide to take her deeper. She was still narrow and not ready for his taking her. She shrieked under the pain, planting her nails in his shoulders, trying to repel him but he just continued, moaning and groaning and grunting with the pleasure he was stealing from her. He silenced her with hot kisses, his tongue plundering her mouth as his cock rammed into her body.

Now she was crying with pain. "Let… me… go… please… Severus…" she pleaded.

"No… I want you… I need you… I desire you…" he replied to her pleas.

He released his own control in a loud grunt once he had had plenty, kissing her lips with delight, losing himself in her depths. "Oh, Lorena…" He knew then that it would be hard to come back to a normal professor/student relationship for the next two years… He had wanted to tame her to his needs but he had the weird feeling that he had lost a part of his soul in the process. It occurred to him then that rape ripped the soul probably as much as murder.

They remained in each other's arms for a few more minutes. Severus noticed that she was crying – at last. "You're crying. Did I hurt you ?" he asked softly.

"Yes… you hurt me…" She sniffled, crying quietly. She was alluding to her feelings, not specifically to her body. She could take him wholly. Though he had hurt her real this time. "Why ? Why did you do that to me ?" She sobbed in his shoulder. "You really… raped me… this time…"

Severus felt suddenly bad. He had to reckon he had abused her. He remembered their conversation the night before. But he wanted her so much ! Even if that had not been his first intention, a beautiful girl in his bed, his morning hard-on, his pent-up lust for her, his ever stronger attraction for her, all this made him cross the line and take her no matter what. Whether she wanted it or not. He had possessed her in a most hateful manner, but she was _his_ – thoroughly.

The Potions Master knew he had to give some explanation. "I need you. I want you. I desire you. You're mine." Something deep down in his soul stirred at him. _Do I love you ?_ The intense feeling of a loss and nostalgia. He knew he had missed something in his life. Once more, he wanted to say some kind of apologies to her. But he could not. He had enjoyed sex with her too much in the past, to avoid the opportunity to enjoy it with her again.

Her voice was colorless, almost a whisper. "Let me go now." As he did not move, she insisted. "Please, Severus. Don't make things more difficult than they are already."

He moved to let her go eventually. Why the tender words he had in mind were stuck in his throat ? _Because they're stuck in that desert you call soul. You cannot even voice them in your mind. _

Lorena went to the bathroom. He could hear her retching up a bit. She was sick, no thanks to him. Then he heard the water flowing in the jug. He came to see her there, to check on her. She was splashing water on her face. In the mirror, she looked pale, leaning against the jug. She was beautiful. Large hips, lovely breasts, thin waist. But soon her waist would get thicker and this thought brought him back to reality.

Severus came to her and took her in his arms, kissing her on her neck.

She let him do – what else could she do ? He had just forced himself on her. "Please, Severus." Her tone was cold. "Let go of me."

His hands roamed over her belly. "I did this to you. Making you sick like this." He had just admitted he was indeed her child's father.

"I've read and heard this is the lot of most pregnant women." Still a very cold voice. "Now let go of me. Please."

Severus tightened her grip around her. His lips grazed on her neck. She let him do – it was enjoyable though she hated him right now for the unforgivable deed he had just done to her. She also smelled of sex and that was arousing for him. They remained as such for long minutes. "Let go of me, Severus. Please." Thinking of all the good memories they had had together, her heart sank and she felt forlorn.

He turned her in his arms to make her face him. He caressed her face. Why had he been so brutal with her earlier ? That made her sad. He did not need to use Legilimency on her. He could read on her face that she loved his hands on her but hated his brutality. She was sad because she wondered how things could be back to what they were before, after what he had just done to her. "I have something that could help you a bit on mornings."

"Another potion ?" She could not conceal the distrust in her voice.

"Yes. I'm the Potions Master here, remember." His tone had something humorous. But he had gathered the distrust in her tone. "Something to alleviate your sickness so that it can make it more discreet and more bearable. You wouldn't like to draw your dorm mates' attention onto you, would you ?"

"No, indeed, Severus. Thank you for your concern."

"Get ready. I'll get you the potion." He left her there. He brought her her garments. She took a quick shower, Scourgified her underwear and the long shirt she had slept in and got dressed quickly. He came back when she was combing her hair with a comb she had conjured up.

"Here it is," Severus said while putting a vial in her hand. She had to be trusting as she was blind. "A morning sickness potion, to make pregnant women's life easier."

"How come you have such stuff in your stores ?"

"I brew it for Ms Pomfrey. She gives it to the girls that have painful periods, as this is another use of it. Though I suspect that she may give it to some of the seven-year girls that leave the school pregnant. Didn't she give you some ?"

"No… I felt so bad with me after what she had told me about unwed mothers… I didn't want to tell her I was sick… I just wanted to escape and be left alone…" Suddenly Lorena bent in two and reached the jug. The sickness was terrible. It lasted a good minute before she could breathe normally. "I feel so bad… being so weak like this… in front of you…"

He took her in his arms. "Never feel ashamed in front of me, Lorena." _I should be ashamed_, he thought. _For what I've just done to you._ "Take some. Only three drops on mornings, just before you get up from bed. Keep it in your bedtable. Come back to me if your condition doesn't improve after a week. Just three drops. Like this." He opened the vial. The stopper was of a particular shape, it could not let out but drops only. With a swift gesture, Severus opened her mouth gently and let three drops fall on Lorena's tongue. "Now swallow. You should feel better after that."

She obeyed. He closed the vial and put it in her hands. "Remember. Three drops only. On mornings, before you get up from bed." Her head rested on his chest and they remained as such for a minute or two, time for the potion to pass into her system.

"How do you feel now ?" Severus asked gently.

"Better."

"At least you'll have no longer any excuse not to have a decent breakfast now." He paused, real concern in his voice. "It's going to be very hard for you to last the whole morning without a breakfast and an intense workload, Lorena. I'm sure you do not wish to faint in the middle of the class and draw attention onto your condition, do you ?"

She smirked – not so differently from him. "No, I don't. Especially in Potions class," she replied deadpan. "You may take advantage of me like you did this morning. Now let me go." Her voice was hard, the remark intended to be all the more scathing.

Severus snorted. "Alright, have a seat while I'm getting ready and we'll go to the Great Hall for our last breakfast together." He had also planned to talk to Dumbledore about the girl.

Lorena did as told and waited for him. When he came back from the bathroom, ready, fully clad in his usual Potions Master regalia, he saw that she was reading a book with her wand in hand. He smiled at the sight and his heart tightened a bit more in his chest. He wondered what he could promise Albus Dumbledore so that he could have this sight every morning of his life – before banning this thought out of his mind.

* * *

At breakfast, Severus asked Dumbledore if he could see him sometime during the day. The student body was to arrive by the end of the day, on the Hogwarts Express. He stated the matter was of importance. Albus sensed it and he granted his request.

Lorena's return to the breakfast table was welcomed by warm greetings from professors – most of them had come back now. She gave no explanation as to her morning absence and nobody dared ask her either. When Lorena had decided she would not say a thing, nobody, not even the Devil could make her talk.

Nobody except Severus Snape. He sat opposite to her, watching her carefully, enjoying her presence and obviously relaxed after the sex he had just had with her – even if it had been at her expense. It crossed his mind that he should have sex with her on every morning. He was sure his day would be better off with such a start. She may not agree to this but he did not care. Worse, he had enjoyed it thoroughly.

He was glad to see that she ate with appetite. However her face bore something sad. She was silent.

Albus Dumbledore, that sat just besides the Potions Master, caught her mood and went on loud. "You look absent, Lorena. Why is that then ?"

"I am fine, Professor. A new year, new things to learn. Isn't that great ?" She raised her mental shields. The Headmaster was a skilled Legilimens. He was a man of experience too and she did not wish him to know what had happened earlier between her and his Potions Master. They had both arrived to the Great Hall together. He was no fool.

She was right. Albus Dumbledore had tried but found out that nothing of the morning or the evening events could be read on her mind. The girl was good at Occlumency. _Maybe Severus has resumed the Occlumency lessons with her. Or the way she smiles, he may have taught her entirely something else._ He chuckled.

"I'm glad to hear that. If only all the students could be as enthusiastic as you are, Lorena. Don't you think, Severus ?"

"Yes, Headmaster," he replied as neutrally as possible. He was watching her, his lust for her intensifying by the minute. She was beautiful. He tried to focus on something else so that his arousal could stop before it became too obvious, even under his school robes. Severus looked at her with a bold gleam in his charcoal eyes. Had she been able to see him, she would have read all the desire he had for her. Raw, bold, crude, carnal.

* * *

**_I like to explore the dark side of Severus. To use his character and twist it and bend it and see the outcome, how he would react to certain given situations, both on physical and psychological levels. That's the magic of fanfiction._**

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	33. You promised anything

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**3****3 – You promised anything**

Dumbledore left the breakfast table. The Headmaster informed Minerva McGonagall, his deputy, that he had an important appointment in his office and did not wish to be interrupted. Five minutes later, Severus and Lorena left the table on their turn. Once out of the Great Hall, Severus told her he had to go and see the Headmaster now and he would let her go back to her dorm on her own. She was surprised but did not show it. Somehow, she was glad : he would not try to get her again once in the dorm. She just told him that they would meet at lunch and left him to go back to the Slytherin quarters in the dungeons.

A few minutes later, Severus was sitting in the Headmaster's office. He was opposite to Dumbledore who was behind his desk as usual. "So what is it, Severus, that was so important ?"

The Potions Master went directly to the matter : "Miss Nottingham informed me yesterday that she's pregnant."

If Dumbledore did a double take, he did not show it openly. But by the look in his steely blue eyes, he must have had. At least, that was the conclusion Severus drew. The old man's gaze did not move, locked with his own eyes.

Severus knew that Albus was thinking – and fast. He could see the wheels turning in the old wizard's mind. "Hum… pregnant ?"

"Yes, Headmaster."

"You're the father I guess."

This time, Severus said nothing and just nodded.

Albus sighed. He was not crossed by the news. He was just worried. "That's why she was not feeling well these last days…"

"Yes. I've managed to get an answer from her." He paused. "I don't know what happened, Albus. We came back from the cave directly here, so that I could report to you. After that, I gave her a powerful potion against this… this sort of event."

"What did you give her by the way ?"

"The 'Draught Against Unwanted Tomorrows'. Strong stuff. It's supposed to be taken no later than 48 hours after the last sexual intercourse. We were on time. As we're on the subject, I gave her a dose from the same batch I had brewed for Poppy three months earlier. The draught can be used up to six months after its production. Poppy had needed it for a seventh-year student. It had worked then. So the potion was both effective and still good." He took a deep breath. "I fail to understand why it did not work this time, Albus."

Dumbledore remained silent, his hand stroking his beard in thoughtfulness. "Indeed, that's weird." He turned his head toward Fawkes, his familiar, perched a bit further away. Both man and bird exchanged a glance. "Weird but not unexpected. Severus, I don't think your potion had something to do in this."

"What do you mean ?" The Potions Master was relieved to hear that but it did not answer his question.

"I don't think it was faulty. Remember in that cave, you both dealt with a very powerful magic. Did it cross your mind that this powerful magic could have tampered with your potion ?"

Severus' eyes narrowed on the Headmaster. "You mean… the power unleashed during the ritual may have… prevented the potion from working ?"

Albus nodded. "Yes. Think of that. This ritual was first designed and used as a fertility ritual. To attract fertility on the couple that performed it. I've read somewhere that this ritual was sometimes done in front of the whole clan or tribe, with the other couples joining in at some point later, so that the clan or tribe could thrive in numbers. In other places, a similar ritual was performed not with a virgin but with a holy prostitute, considered as a priestess in this occasion, taken by several men so that fertility could be bestowed on the whole clan or tribe."

"The first thing that Miss Nottingham had said when we set foot in the cave, was the place had already known magic. A long time ago."

"I've told you so. She had felt the power of elemental magic there. I'm not surprised. Her whole magic is based on that. No wonder she could relate to it."

Slowly, realization dawned on Severus. "So that means that you… send us directly towards that disaster !" he said with a dangerous voice.

Albus Dumbledore was not one to be impressed by his Potions Master. "Severus, you'll admit that any experience bears sometimes unexpected results. As a Potions Master, you're aware of that."

"An experience that turned out _badly_, this is all that inspires you ?" He was about to explode. His eyes were glowering with a murderous glint. "You could have told me about the possible consequences ! I would have taken certain… measures on my side to ensure this did not happen !"

Albus remained aloof. "Honestly, Severus, don't you think that the outcome would have been any different ? That magic is very ancient and very powerful. Your measures would have been overridden the same way than your Draught had been. Besides, would you have let Voldemort take the girl, instead of you ? It would have been worse for her and you know it. That's why you had agreed to carrying out the ritual with her."

The Headmaster had a point there – a point that had already been discussed before. Severus relented.

"I'm sorry about the outcome, Severus. Believe me. But many things remain mysterious about that elemental magic. I can't foresee every thing." He sighed deeply. "We cannot change what is now," Albus said. "This is a new element and we have to ensure that we act on this accordingly. There's the issue of Voldemort's plans for the girl. From what you reported to me, he wanted to get her pregnant by rape."

"The Dark Lord was not happy to learn that the girl was no longer a virgin. He doesn't know I'm the man that had deflowered her. Now, he'll get much angrier if he learns she's pregnant. Pregnant because of consensual sex. Pregnant because of me. I have to bring her to him. I don't need to explain you the consequences for me. You'll be one Potions Master short !"

"And one trustful spy less, yes, I'm aware of that, Severus. The condition you came back in last time is enough a reminder of that. I'll do my best not to send you both in harm's way more than necessary."

"I don't think you'll have a choice on Halloween," Severus replied dryly.

"Well, whether she's pregnant or not, won't make a big difference then. Suppose Voldemort gets a hold of her, if he learns that she had conceived a child during a magical date, even during consensual sex, he should not be too crossed with that. What worries me more at this point, is what he intends to do to her and the baby when it's born. Above all if the child is to be delivered around Beltaine."

"We still have a plan to work out for Halloween," Severus remarked. "As for the Dark Lord… he's not as forgiving as you are, Albus. I'd rather… let him have his way with her, then make believe him that the child she carries is indeed the outcome of _his_ actions." _Even if that pains me a lot._

"Indeed, I appreciate that. I'm working on a plan. Once I have something coherent, I'll discuss it with you for your further input and implementation."

Severus rose from his chair. "Well, then, I guess I'll have to wait," he commented with a dry sarcasm. He was about to leave the office when Dumbledore stopped him.

"Stay here, Severus. We are not through the issue yet."

The Potions Master froze in his tracks. Slowly, he turned himself towards the old man, a cold gaze on him. "What do you mean ?"

"Sit down, Severus. There's another matter we need to discuss in relation to all this," Albus said softly. Yet it sounded like an order and Severus knew better. He complied.

"What it is then, Headmaster ? I thought we had discussed it through and through. Until you come up with your brightest idea ?" he said sarcastically. Albus did not even pick up the remark.

"We have to discuss about Miss Nottingham herself. Her future."

The Potions Master raised an eyebrow. "Well ?"

Dumbledore sighed imperceptibly. "You must have already discussed the matter with her, I guess."

"Yes."

"How is she with the news ?"

"She's not too pleased with that. Actually, she's scared."

"I can't blame her," Dumbledore said. "Though parenthood is a nice thing."

The Potions Master could have sworn that the remark was valid for him too. He scowled at the Headmaster – who ignored it in return.

"She explained to me that she's most scared because she's blind, Albus. She also told me that she's not even 18, she has no income, no family to rely on as her father's in jail. She's pretty disoriented with her condition. She sees it as something that would prevent her from graduating and pursuing an education. She's afraid you may expel her because of this. I suspect that she may wish to get rid of the child if she could. She may become desperate enough to do so. Remember, she's been raised in a Muggle environment. Muggle women do that sometimes."

"Are you sure that she could resort to such a thing ?" Worry could be heard in his voice. Albus Dumbledore thought that a magical life was so precious, the wizarding world was tiny in comparison with the rest of the Muggle world. The child, born to such a powerful wizard like Severus and to an already gifted witch like Lorena, promised to be really talented too. The wizarding community could not afford such a waste.

"Well, no. Just a hunch further to the little talk I had with her on the matter. I suppose a girl in her situation, so scared, would be tempted to abort."

It came suddenly to Severus' mind that he had had the idea too of rough sex, even rape, so that she may lose the child. She may have even agreed to that. Thinking of it, no, she had not. He had really raped her this morning. She had not wished it. She had not wished to have sex with him and he had taken her despite her refusal. But he would have never admitted this to the Headmaster. He had done enough evil stuff in his life, he did not need to add rape on his record, above all rape on a charge entrusted to him. A charge he had made pregnant.

"That's relevant indeed," Albus went on. "Yet, there's something else I wish to talk to you about." He took a deep breath, though imperceptible. "She comes from a Muggle environment. She's a Muggle-born. I know you have defended her as such one day in front of the young Malfoy. However, considering her past before she arrived at Hogwarts, I don't think she's completely aware of certain aspects of our world."

Severus saw at once what the Headmaster meant. "She is, Albus. She told me that Ms Pomfrey had talked to her about it. In what terms, I don't know. But she was even more scared by the notion of being an unwed mother in our world rather than by being a blind mother."

"I don't think Poppy would have been too judgmental to her. I trust her tactfulness. Probably she just wanted the girl to understand what her status would be with a child out-of-wedlock in our society. In any case, she was right to point this out to the girl." He paused. "We both know what it will happen to her. Therefore, Severus, there's only one thing that can be done as a remedy to this situation of hers."

The Potions Master peered at the Headmaster with a charcoal glare. He felt the old man was right. He knew where the old wizard was leading him to now. He knew he was trapped. Neatly. "Albus, sometimes I wonder if you haven't been sorted into Slytherin."

"Then, being a Slytherin yourself, you should arrive to the same conclusion as me and act accordingly towards Miss Nottingham," the Headmaster said coldly. That way, Albus Dumbledore knew he had just planted the Gryffindor Sword right where it should have been in his Potions Master. In his heart, in his mind, in his soul. Deep. Because Albus Dumbledore knew that despite his past as a Death-Eater, despite his spying present, despite his uncertain future, he knew that Severus Snape had still these three commodities in him. They were just buried a bit too deep for reach. But they were still there, shredded to ribbons but still there.

"You ask me to… ?"

"Yes, Severus. I ask you so. Remember, you promised me to do _anything_. Anything I could ask of you."

"Anything to implement your plans to get the world rid of the Dark Lord ! Like spying on him !" Severus rebelled. "The issue of Miss Nottingham's pregnancy is NOT a part of this !"

"Whether it is or not, is irrelevant," Dumbledore replied quietly yet firmly. "I will not negotiate with you, Severus. You agreed." His tone was final.

"You seem to forget you have a fair share of responsibility in all this, Albus !"

"I do not forget it. And I will assume it accordingly too. I will not expel Miss Nottingham from Hogwarts on account of her pregnancy. I will not expel her on account of her affair with a teacher either. She can remain here and continue her schooling even with a child. I will do everything in my power to grant her time to complete her education. Such a gifted witch, it would be a shame that she drops out. I'll even go to that length : I'll help _you both_ with any further arrangements you may need as a family. As the Headmaster, I can even stand up against the Ministry of Magic if it comes to their attention that a sixth-year student has become pregnant by one of my teachers here. I'll protect _you both_ from their scrutiny. You'll agree with me that a Ministry of Magic too much curious about _you_ may blow up your cover and ruin your spying activities for the Order. Of course, _your_ safety to _you both_ is my primary concern. This is _my_ share of responsibility and I'll assume it. Now you have to assume _yours_."

Severus rose suddenly from his chair. "Has it occurred your brilliant mind that she may not agree to this ?" _That I may not agree to this ?_

"She had agreed to the ritual before. She's alone, scared, blind, resourceless. She's a Slytherin, she'll understand where her best interests are. I'm pretty sure she'll agree to bond her life with yours. Not that she's an interested woman – in the whole House of Slytherin, I've never met somebody so little venal." _So little Slytherin_, he added _in petto_. "A scared girl is a threat to herself and maybe to others. We have to be careful and secure every thing in order to prevent any further problems from arising as far as she is concerned."

After what had happened earlier this morning between them two, Severus was not so sure at all that Lorena would agree to be involved with him any further.

"You know, Albus, that I don't like to be forced into doing things !"

This time, Albus rose from his chair. "Really ?" His tone was ironic. "I thought that years have taught you that sometimes, we cannot but otherwise do things against our will. Associating with Voldemort must have taught you that over the years, I think."

Severus' eyes darted a murderous glare at the Headmaster. "That was a… an unfair blow, Albus !"

"Life is unfair, Severus." There was something fierce in the Headmaster's voice. "You spend your time reminding your students about this fact of life – and I totally approve you in this regard. What happens to Miss Nottingham is even more unfair to her than to you, as she was innocent and had agreed to perform the ritual in order to avoid Voldemort's plans against her to be carried out. She ends up paying the high price. Think of it."

Severus relented. He knew Albus Dumbledore was right. He hated that, he even hated the old man for a second or two for being right. But he knew he could not let a poor girl suffer a destitute fate with a child in tow because of himself. At 32, he was a grown-up man, able to take care of a family after all. He was responsible and dependable.

"Albus… I don't want to marry. With this life on the go as a spy… I can never come back from these Death-Eater meetings with the Dark Lord. Last time was evidence enough. I can't !"

The old Headmaster had a compassionate gaze for him. "I appreciate that, Severus. That's why I won't talk to you into marrying her. Not until all this is over. I just want you to make a formal promise you will."

"A promise won't make any difference, Albus. It's not a marriage, just a promise."

"Well, it depends on how the promise is performed. Whether you die or not, there will still be a young woman and a child involved. The only difference will be that if you promise to marry her and die, she will be considered as the 'almost' widow or the fiancée of a war hero. If you do not do so and die, she will still be considered as a promiscuous woman unworthy of any consideration in our society – while she had lost her virtue for the Greater Good. In other words, if you die, that won't be much of a trouble for _you_, but it'll mean a whole difference for _her_."

"So you mean that my 'way of life' is not a valid excuse."

"I'm afraid it's not." At this point Dumbledore knew he had won the set.

Severus sighed. How he could propose her after what had happened this morning between them ? Of course, he could not even use that argument. He could not imagine himself telling Albus Dumbledore that he had abused the girl this morning for his own purposes – and get away with it this time.

A sudden memory flash came back to Severus' mind : he remembered his parents fighting, and their rows ending in violence. He remembered his father telling him to get out of the house, or else, one fist over his mother, the other one ready to fall on the young boy he was. Young Severus usually ran away then but it had happened sometimes that he had not. He could then hear other noises, other sounds, other words, that he could not construe for he was too young to understand. Noises and sounds and words pretty much the same as the ones he and Lorena had uttered earlier this morning in his bedroom. One day, he had even sneaked a peek and saw his father lying on his mother, moving on her, grunting, compelling her to kiss him and other things… Things he had just done to Lorena this morning. _Am I turning like my father ?_ The thought disgusted him.

"What do you mean by… 'how the promise is performed' ?"

"Severus, I was alluding to a formal, binding vow that would be guaranteed and keep her away from dishonor should the outcome be not... favorable. I'd want you to engage in something much more binding with her, if you see what I mean." Albus was very serious this time. A decision had to be made.

Severus peered at him. "You mean… that I should make… an Unbreakable Vow with her ?"

Albus nodded slowly, his steely blue gaze serious, still locked with the charcoal eyes of his Potions Master. "Indeed. An Unbreakable Vow in which you'd engage yourself to protect her against Voldemort and his followers, to ensure that the powers she possesses and the child she carries – your child – would not be used by the same Voldemort for Dark magic purposes, and to marry her as soon as this would be possible."

For a second or two, Severus' lips trembled very slightly. "You ask a lot from me, Albus. I don't know if I can this time. Have you ever considered that you ask too much, that you take too much for granted ?"

The Headmaster did not reply the question directly. "You will, Severus. You have a life debt towards Miss Nottingham. You have a responsibility towards your child. At last, you had taken another Unbreakable Vow long ago, when you came back to me, remember ? You had committed yourself with me to do ANYTHING I would require from you to do. This is one of my requirements."

He paused, time for both men to remember. Severus would never forget – Dumbledore had welcomed him back then a young man that had just fled the Death-Eaters and was begging him to save the woman he loved then from the Dark Lord – if that was still possible. The Headmaster had asked him what he would do for him in exchange. 'Anything' had been the reply. The pact had been sealed with an Unbreakable Vow. Lily had died but the Vow was still valid as it revolved around what the young Severus Snape could and would do for the Headmaster – not around Lily's life.

"Besides… the issue of Voldemort has to be dealt with. The Unbreakable Vow magic will help you in this regard," the old man concluded.

Severus rose from his chair, anger on his features. "You don't trust me, Albus, to the point you ask me to do this ?"

"Sit down, my boy," the Headmaster replied calmly in front of the younger wizard's outburst. "It has nothing to do with trust. You have already earned mine long ago. Maybe you don't know certain magical aspects of an Unbreakable Vow. Performed under certain conditions, it'll grant you the moral and magical strength required to honor it. This kind of magic does not leave those thus bonded without help and resources. This has not to be neglected and we should put all the chances possible on our side."

Severus sat down. "You _use_ me," he spat. "Has it ever crossed your brilliant mind that I don't want to do this any more ?" Anger, resignation and a bit of despair could be read on his face and in his voice. But the younger wizard knew he could not disobey the Headmaster. He surrendered in a sigh. "Alright. You won. I'll make an Unbreakable Vow with her. But I want certain conditions laid out first."

Albus looked at his Potions Master like a cat that would have eaten a canary. "Which conditions ?"

"First, I think, in the best interests of our ongoing operation as to the Dark Lord's plans, that the Vow remains a secret. Confirming the Dark Lord that the girl had indeed lost her virtue had been particularly painful a moment for me. I do not wish to renew this because I would have to inform him that she's made an Unbreakable Vow with his own spy, namely me."

"Agreed. That seems the most elementary precaution indeed."

"Second, that she keeps silent about this Vow. I'm aware that her body will undergo some noticeable changes in the next few months but I'm pretty confident that a ring slipped on the appropriate finger should do the trick and explain it all in front of other people, in particular among the student body."

"No problem. I'm sure she'll agree to this in order to avoid her schoolmates' questions, as well as her housemates' nasty remarks. She's no fool. We'll just say that she got married, end of the story."

"Third, that Miss Nottingham will stay in the Slytherin dorm while I'll stay in my quarters, as long as this… promise is kept secret."

Dumbledore chuckled. "Are you sure you'll be able to keep up with that one end of the deal yourself, Severus ? I know you must have fancied her one way or the other."

The Potions Master sent a death glare to the Headmaster – that kept on smiling with aloofness, a twinkle in his steely blue eyes. Actually, considering what had happened in the morning, he was not sure he would be able to keep that end of the deal… Sometimes, he wondered if the old man was not spying on his spy – for whole other purposes. He knew that Albus Dumbledore, as the Hogwarts Headmaster, was tied up to the castle's magic. Without mentioning that damn bird perched in his office that seemed to know all the other secrets that the old man did not know yet.

"Agreed, I'll see to it that this is enforced." Albus was having real fun now and did his best to conceal it.

"I count on you to inform Miss Nottingham, of course, as this Vow business is _your_ idea." At least, Severus would have the pleasure to see the Headmaster explain this to her himself.

"We will do so together today. As for the details, you know that one person only is needed as a Binder, for the Unbreakable Vow. No witness is required. "I believe the sooner the better. Miss Nottingham is of age. We can make the Vow this weekend. I'm confident that leaves enough time for you to get ready."

Severus sighed. "Yes, yes, yes ! Alright for making the Vow this weekend. Now, I suppose we went through the whole thing ?"

"We did. I expect you and Miss Nottingham early this afternoon, after lunch, so that we may both tell her. Is that fine with you, Severus ?"

The Potions Master looked daggers at the old man. "Yes, Headmaster." he spat. "We'll be there."

"Very good." But Severus was already gone, his black robes billowing behind him in a fury that matched his present temper.

Albus Dumbledore chuckled once he was alone. "You heard that, Fawkes ? Me, a Slytherin ?" He snorted. "More seriously, I haven't seen someone braver than him. I think _he_ should have been sorted into Gryffindor." _Yes, maybe we sort too soon._

The phoenix trilled in agreement and then emitted a long singing sentence.

"I think you're right, Fawkes. That should cross him just right. Next time he says something like this to me, I'll just remind him how Gryffindor he can be sometimes." The good Headmaster chuckled at his own joke.

* * *

**_Remember Albus Dumbledore in _Goblet of Fire_, played vividly by Michael Gambon ? (Whose performance I preferred over Richard Harris', I must confess.) He was quite angry after Harry then after Barty Crouch Jr, showing how energetic and somewhat ruthless a wizard he could be. I imagined him like this in this scene with Severus, scolding and cornering him the same way, to make him do his bidding._**

**_Besides, I'm part of those that strongly believe that Dumbledore has made Severus make an Unbreakable Vow with him to ensure his loyalty - the infamous "Anything" Severus has promised to do for the Headmaster. I use that theory here._**

**_I also wanted to show how manipulative Dumbledore is, in particular with Severus in general, and Lorena too by the way in this particular story. I tell you, he should have been sorted into Slytherin !_**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! Oh, I forgot to tell you : I reply to all questions and reviews._**


	34. Indecent proposal

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**3****4 – Indecent proposal**

Severus did not search Lorena at once. He went to his office and checked his last notes regarding his next lessons. Everything was in good order. He was ready for a new academic year. Then he went to his quarters and sat in his favorite armchair, a copy of the _Daily Prophet_ of the day waiting to be read. But soon, his attention drifted away… The image of Lorena sprang to his mind, as the Headmaster's words rang into his ears again. His feelings were mixed towards the young woman. He had enjoyed deflowering her and he had enjoyed all the sex he had had with her afterwards – including the rape. He was attracted to her. He found her gifted, mature, so different from the other girls of her age. She was talented and sensitive. A quiet soul. So un-Slytherin… Yet at the same time, she was sensible, hardworking, able to see ahead, able to give and to sacrifice for a higher goal, able to compromise, in particular to achieve the result required. Cunning when required. Cold-blooded and unafraid when needed. Determined and resourceful. Undoubtedly Slytherin qualities.

What was the most strange to handle for Severus, was the feelings she had for him. The love waves she sent to him. No matter what he could do to her, what he could tell her, she seemed to love him. He could not understand that someone could feel something like that, like she did – above all feeling something _for him_. He could not understand how he could be loved anyway in general. The feelings Lorena nurtured _for him_ were so powerful she had managed to bring him back to the land of the living, after his coming back from the last meeting with the Dark Lord barely alive. She had not flinched a single second to lay it all on the line, to save his life – _for him_. Severus did not remember someone so ready for such a sacrifice. Except his own mother, when Eileen Prince Snape used to put herself between her husband and her son, taking the blows from him, protecting her boy.

And now, Lorena carried his child. Severus sighed. He had to admit that the child was an accident indeed. But it had been conceived in desire, even lust, if not love. Well, on his side. As for Lorena, only her feelings for him has made her accept to have sex with him. He was aware he was not an Apollon. He was even the kind of man not to attract women because he had a disturbing, asocial, even cruel look that frightened women. He was scary and ruthless. He was sure that Lorena's blindness may have played in his favor. She could not see these aspects of his. _But she can _perceive_ them._

Of course, she remembered him. Her first five years at Hogwarts had not been spent in the dark. But maturity coming and her blindness had made her think and consider people and things beyond the surface. He suspected that she may have begun to feel something for him before becoming blind. He had never discussed the matter with her and he was not sure he would like to either.

The notion of getting a share of her powers and abilities when deflowering her had been appealing to him. A deal no Slytherin would have refused. However, unlike the Dark Lord, Severus did not see power as an end – only a means to achieve goals aimed at the Greater Good. Obviously, Lorena was able to see things the same way as he did.

He rose from his armchair and decided he would go and see her. Just to tell her that he had seen the Headmaster and that she would not be expelled from Hogwarts. He left his quarters for the Slytherin girl dorms. She was not there. She was not in the Slytherin common room either. He had noticed that her violin was not in her dorm – she must have had picked it up to play outside. Maybe she was in the Garden, playing ?

He went there. He called her name out loud but no reply. She was not there. Where could she be ? On his way out, he met Mr Filch which told him that he had indeed seen Miss Nottingham in the corridors but had lost track of her. He suggested she may have gone to the Room of Requirement.

He found the Room and Lorena inside indeed. The piano was still there and she was sitting behind the keyboard, playing and singing a sad song that suited her present mood. He remained silent as he listened to the words.

_Well, I never want to see you unhappy__,  
__I thought you'd want the same for me._

_Goodbye, my almost lover__ !  
__Goodbye, my hopeless dream !  
__I'm trying not to think about you.  
__Can't you just let me be ?_

She was playing with an expressive feel to it. It seems as if she poured all her sadness, her anxiety, her fear into the music and the lyrics. She seemed to really be touched by the words. Unbeknownst to her, she was not the only person to be moved by the lyrics.

_So long, my luckless romance !  
__My back is turned on you.  
__Should've known you'd bring me heartache.  
__Almost lovers always do…_

Severus waited for her to finish the piece before coming to her. He heard her sigh deeply. He took a deep breath himself before coming to her. He put a hand on her shoulder. She turned her head towards him. "Professor Snape ?"

"Yes. Just to advise you that we will meet the Headmaster early this afternoon. After lunch."

Her heart tightened in her chest. "You talked to him about my… situation. He will expel me, won't he ?"

For a second or two, Severus wondered if he should say something to her or not. But her voice was so anguished that he decided to relieve her. "No, he won't," he let out eventually. "However, you have to come to listen to the proposal we have to make to you."

"Proposal ? What kind of proposal ?"

"You'll see then. That's something that cannot be discussed here. You'll understand why. I'll see you at lunch." His hand broke the physical contact with her shoulder and he left her alone. In the distance, he heard her playing again the song she was singing when he had entered the Room of Requirement. The heartwrenching words of the song, coupled with her light yet sensual touch on the keyboard, moved him more than he would have thought. He could have sworn that the girl was crying as her voice was frail. The words pursued him well after the Room of Requirement had disappeared in the walls thanks to the castle's magic.

_Goodbye, my almost lover… Goodbye, my hopeless dream… So long, my luckless romance… Almost lovers always do…_

* * *

Lorena spent the rest of the morning in the Room of Requirement. She enjoyed the place not only for the piano but for the solitude it provided. Nobody would come there – well, except people that knew this would be one of her favorite hideaway. The Headmaster. The Potions Master. And provided they expressed the same requirement as her own on the moment, so that the Room could let them in.

She went on with the melody she was working on the piano. She could remember the chorus only but she was confident she could invent other lyrics to replace those she had forgotten.

She was so much into her music that she had let the lunch hour pass by. She was still working on that song when someone entered the Room of Requirement.

"Miss Nottingham, you're late for lunch !" said a deep, rich, silky voice behind her. A hand on her shoulder showed her that there was no way to escape. She tried her luck anyway.

"I don't want to go to lunch, Professor Snape. I'm not hungry. Leave me alone here. Please."

Severus did not like her tone. She sounded tired and defeated. "You have to eat properly in your condition. You'll follow me. This is not negotiable !"

She rose from her bench. "Like it was not negotiable this morning either, I suppose ?" Her tone was sharp and scornful.

Severus grabbed her arm. "You'll do as told, Miss Nottingham ! As for this morning… you wanted it as much as I did."

"No, you hurt me, you were... selfish and… ruthless !" She burst out in tears. _Why do I still love him ? I should hate him after what he did to me this morning but… no, I still love him. More than ever._

"You may come back here after our meeting with the Headmaster," Severus said quietly while squeezing her arm gently this time. He didn't like when women cried.

Lorena gave in to him. She closed the keyboard and left the Room of Requirement with him. She could not understand why she felt such a strong love for him despite everything he could be or do to her. Any other witch would have made him a scene, would have even injured him, hexed him or whatever. Any witch would have turned her back on him and left. Any witch would have reported him to the Ministry of Magic. She had not. She wanted him to take her in his arms but she was afraid of what he could do to her once she was there. Besides, he seemed to be in a foul mood.

They arrived at the lunch table where they sat in silence. Lorena apologized to Dumbledore, explaining she had not seen the time go by as she was busy with her music. The Headmaster smiled at her, just letting out a comment that sounded like 'Ah, the most powerful magic in the world…' Lorena did not dare ask him for extra explanation as whether music or love qualified for being the 'most powerful magic in the world', as she had already heard him describe both as such. Love was the last subject she wanted to discuss about – above all in public. Love was a heavy burden to carry for her now.

This was the last meal shared with the staff at the same table in a rather friendly atmosphere. The discussions were both serious and light. Only Lorena and Severus remained silent. The young woman knew the Potions Master was looking at her. Through her extra sensorial perception and their bond, she could feel the sharpness of his gaze burning her as if he was drilling directly into her soul.

After lunch, they both headed to the Headmaster's office. Dumbledore was there already, waiting for them. Severus guided Lorena to a chair then he sat down in the one next to her.

Albus glanced at them. Something deep down his guts told him that the pair in front of him was no longer a couple. He let out a sigh inside of him. Things promised to be more difficult than planned. He realized that his Potions Master had carefully omitted to mention this information. Well, Albus knew how private the man was and he could not blame him. He was well aware that Severus Snape did not belong to himself, that he belonged to the two most powerful wizards of the age, Lord Voldemort and himself, Albus Dumbledore – and that these two used him ruthlessly for their own purposes. He could not reproach him to try to retain a bit of dignity and privacy – from what was left of the debris of his life.

"Lorena, I can see you feel better, I'm glad you're back to share your meals with us. I wish you all the best for this new academic year. Now to business. I think that Professor Snape told you the purpose of our meeting here."

The girl remained silent for long seconds, her empty pale gray eyes lost in front of her. "My… pregnancy, I guess," she uttered with a very small voice.

"Yes, indeed. But more than that."

"You're going to expel me, aren't you ?"

Dumbledore exchanged a quick glance with Severus that shook his head. Apparently, she had not believed him and she needed to hear the words directly from the Headmaster.

"No, Lorena. I won't. On the contrary. I want you to stay in Hogwarts. For the next two years, up to your graduation. Besides the fact that you're gifted and talented, therefore you need to complete your education, I want you to stay here for your own safety. You know most likely about Lord Voldemort's plans about you. You already helped us to thwart them partially. But you're not out of danger. You shall stay here on account of both your academic standing and your safety. I want you to know that."

She let out an oppressed breath, out of relief. "But you'll take some measures to ensure that… I should be… punished ?"

"Punished ? Punished for what ?" Albus was surprised by her question.

"For being pregnant… bringing shame on my House… on the School…"

Both men exchanged gazes. "Lorena, listen to me. There won't be any punishment. You cannot be punished for something you did not commit."

"But I did ! I…" She fought with words.

Severus raised an eyebrow at her. "Yes, Miss Nottingham ?" Maybe she was about to reveal that she had had sex with someone else than him after taking the 'Draught Against Unwanted Tomorrows'.

"I… I had sex with… with a teacher…"

"We asked you to have intimate relationships with a man and you know the reason why. For your personal safety and make sure that Voldemort does not have access to your virginity. It happened outside the School, not during the academic year. You were both consenting and you're of age, Lorena. You're an adult and so is Professor Snape. What happens between two consenting adults is not the School's business, especially outside the school premises and during holidays."

"But why the Draught did not work then ? I drank it !" Revolt could be heard in her shaking voice. She swallowed hard to repress a sob threatening to burst out. "I didn't want this situation to arise. I'm blind, poor, a Muggle-born, that is, a nobody in the wizarding community. I'm not even 18 ! I don't want that child !" She put her hands in front of her face as if to hide the intense feeling of shame and despair she felt.

"Lorena, listen to me. There's one thing you should know. You choose Professor Snape to be the man you'd give yourself to for that particular purpose. I think there was no better choice indeed because of the feelings you have for him. Yes, I know about that," he added quickly when she raised her head to him in surprise. "He had not planned this to happen either. Looks like elemental magic has somehow tampered with the Draught he gave you to prevent a pregnancy."

"Elemental magic ?" Her tone was firm again. "_My_ magic ?"

"Yes. The magic you use, the magic infused in your own blood, the magic at work during the ritual. I did not say that you did this on purpose. I just say that the forces at work during the ritual were so powerful that nothing could go against them. Like I explained to Professor Snape earlier, keep in mind that this ritual was designed to ensure fertility in tribes that practiced it. You know like me the potential elemental magic has over the living. You use that magic, you're an empath, you're aware of that. If it can bring a man barely alive to the land of the living, then it can override a contraceptive potion all the same."

Lorena seemed to ponder the Headmaster's words. "You mean that… it's so powerful that…"

Albus nodded. "Yes. Not only you're a powerful witch, Lorena, but you have demonstrated that elemental magic is powerful beyond any notion we may have about it. Think of that : such a power, in evil hands, what could be done with it ! I want you to think about it. Hence the reason why I want you to stay in Hogwarts. With us, you're safe here. We cannot afford to expel you. Moreover, I could not expel you for something you are obviously not responsible. Needs to be two to make a baby. I don't want to sack my Potions Master here either. Do you understand now ?"

Lorena put a hand in front of her mouth. It was both incredible and perfectly sensible. It made sense indeed. "Yes… I do."

"I thought we owed you some explanations. The ritual was a success beyond expectations. It unleashed very powerful abilities in each of you both. You must have felt that your empathic abilities have expanded. Professor Snape told me that his own powers as a wizard have grown dramatically too. He's now able of contact telepathy. This is only a beginning. We need to keep you here to ensure that your powers remain on the good side."

Realization dawned on her. "It's strange… it's… as if… I had always known this." Her gaze was lost in the void. "That connection to the living…" Her voice was collected and soft.

"Your magic will expand, Lorena. Expect this to happen in the next few weeks. It will expand furthermore as you carry the child of an already very powerful wizard. His magic combined to yours may have produced a child with important magical abilities. Therefore, your child… is also an extra reason for us to keep you safe here. Voldemort will want it for its powers too."

At these words, Lorena snapped out of her reverie. "You mean he would use my baby for his own evil purposes ?"

This time, Severus replied. "Yes. The Dark Lord intends on using Dark magic during a blood ritual to gain the powers now concentrated on… our child."

Lorena turned towards him when she heard the word 'ritual'. "A ritual ? What kind of ritual ?" She thought she would not like the reply.

Albus and Severus exchanged another glance. The Headmaster nodded in agreement to his Potions Master to go on with the explanations. She had a right to know.

"A sacrificial ritual." A pause. "Very advanced Dark magic. We think the Dark Lord will do it on a magical date. Most likely Beltaine. May 1st next year. The child will be sacrificed in a ritual involving blood magic. Whether it's already born or not."

Lorena did not burst out in panic or horror. The only sign of the violent emotions inside of hers was her lips parting and trembling slightly. Both men wondered if she had fully grasped the reality. Her next comment showed she had. "That's… gruesome…" she whispered, her gaze lost in the void, aware that it would mean her death if she had not delivered the baby before. Then her focus changed, more determined. _Severus' child !_ "I won't let my baby die like this ! I'd rather kill it with my own hands !" A dangerous look stormed her features for a second or two.

_Yes, she would_, Dumbledore thought. _So Slytherin._

"We won't, Lorena," Albus said. "It's possible that your magic grows stronger with your pregnancy. We know very little about elemental magic as such, you may even become the only person in our community to know what it is all about actually. We'll need your input in this regard. Therefore, I'll ask you to notify me and Professor Snape here of the slightest change or phenomenon that may occur from now on about it."

_That would mean more contact with him of course,_ Lorena thought.

"By the way, Lorena, as you may be one day in presence of Voldemort, I want you to perfect your telepathic abilities. Occlumency."

_Oh no ! Just what I wanted to avoid !_ She swallowed hard. The unpleasant memory of the first lesson came back to her.

"I know that you had stopped the lessons, Lorena, but I want you to resume them. For your own safety. Professor Snape told me that he had had to stop them. I'd like to hear the reason why."

"He must have already told you then the reason why," she said softly. "Ask him. I don't want to talk about it."

"He told me indeed. I want to hear _your_ version." The softly spoken request sounded like an order. It was in fact.

Lorena took a deep breath and turned her head towards the Potions Master. "I'm sorry, Professor…" A pause. "It was a failure. I didn't respond well to the… intrusions in my mind. Legilimency is rather… brutal compared to the contact telepathy I use. It was… painful to me."

Both men looked at each other. Severus had been honest with the Headmaster when he had told him that he had been particularly brutal with the girl, on their first lesson. He had thought that her telepathic abilities would allow her to put up with his powerful Legilimency. He had been wrong.

"I believe that Professor Snape has learned a lesson here and I'm confident he will not renew the same mistake. Therefore, you will resume the lessons with him. This is not something to be discussed outside the three of us. It could be arranged under the form of a… detention to be served, for example ? Well, he'll find a way. I trust you both."

_Detention ?_ Lorena had never served detention before. She was a quiet student and did her best not to attract attention on her. Her different magical abilities had been enough in her earlier years, she had not liked being considered as a freak, even inside the wizarding community.

"There's another issue we also need to address regarding your condition, Lorena. In fact, it's related to everything we had just discussed," Albus said.

What else was in stock for her now ?

"You mean… my pregnancy ?"

"Yes. You're aware that unwed mothers are frown upon in our society, to say the least. You're aware too that your body will begin to show your condition in a few weeks' time. Your schoolmates and in particular your housemates will notice that your girth will change. They will see that you are pregnant indeed. Most of the Slytherins but in other Houses too, there are people with strong prejudices regarding unwed mothers. If they notice that this is your case, you'll spend a very nasty year, believe me. Things are already difficult for you, between that pregnancy, your blindness, the burden placed on your shoulders by Voldemort. Therefore, I think it's our duty to alleviate it a little. We cannot remove your disability, we cannot change Voldemort's plans. But we can change your status as a woman and future mother. Professor Snape suggested that a ring on the appropriate finger should avoid you any nasty comments from the student body. Or anybody else from the magical community outside Hogwarts."

Lorena's face was focused on the words she had just heard, processing them thoroughly. She turned her head towards the Potions Master. "You suggest that I… get married ?"

"Yes, Lorena."

"And whom am I supposed to marry ?" Her voice was low and tense. The whole thing sounded like an indecent proposal, especially after what had happened between them two, that very morning, in his bed.

Severus took her hand in his. "Is that difficult to guess ?"

"You… ?" She looked puzzled. "I thought you didn't…"

"It'll be a particular union," Albus cut her off quickly. "Actually, it would not be a marriage, but rather a promise. A betrothal secured by what we call an Unbreakable Vow."

Lorena had already heard about it though vaguely. "An Unbreakable Vow ?"

"Yes. It's a very secret ritual which involves only three people, the Bonder and the two parties engaging in the Vow. The Headmaster agreed to be our Bonder."

"I know it involves that one party swears to the other something and if that party fails to what they commit, they… die. Am I correct ?"

The silence was heavy now. "Yes, indeed," Severus confirmed. "We'll make you and me an Unbreakable Vow."

"And what is the 'something' that has to be the object of the Vow ?" she asked with scorn in her tone. She was curious to hear that.

This time, Albus took the lead. "Professor Snape will engage himself towards you on three grounds : First, he will do everything in his power to ensure your own safety and protection. Second, he will do everything in his power to make sure that your baby may not be used by Voldemort for his Dark magic purposes and he will resort to any required measures in this regard. Third, he will engage himself in marrying you officially once this is possible."

He paused to let his words sink in Lorena's mind.

"However, there are conditions Professor Snape has set. Conditions you'll have to respect as they are part of your safety to you both. On your side, you'll commit yourself to the following : First, you'll shall keep the Vow a secret. Not a single word to anybody, not even to your father. If Voldemort learns that you and Severus got betrothed through such a Vow, he'll kill him on the next Death-Eater meeting. Also, not a word to your schoolmates. Of course, Hogwarts is a safe place but we suspect some of the students here have families in relation with Voldemort's partisans, especially in Slytherin. If they ask questions as to your pregnancy, you'll just tell them you're married, no further questions asked. Not a single word about your husband's identity either. If they keep bothering you about the same, you'll report the matter to your Head of House immediately. Second, you'll marry Professor Snape in due time, once all this is over. Third, you'll remain in your dorm while he'll remain in his quarters, so as not to draw attention on you both and therefore reveal the identity of your child's father and your betrothed. Did I make myself clear ?"

Lorena remained silent for a few seconds. "Yes, Professor Dumbledore. Very clear."

"Right. I had discussed this earlier with Professor Snape. We had agreed that the Unbreakable Vow be made this weekend."

Lorena had a thought for her father. "You mentioned that this is a secret vow that might be followed by a more… official marriage."

"Yes, indeed," Dumbledore confirmed.

"So I guess the official marriage would be later, much later then ?"

"Yes, Lorena, why ?"

"Just thinking that I'll be 18 in about ten days. I was thinking about my father. He would not like it that his daughter gets married so quick and before 18. I know that the wizarding world has set the age of consent at 17 but for the Muggle world in which my father lives, it's still 18. I would have rather preferred to wait for my 18th birthday then but if the Vow is not the actual marriage, then that's okay for the next weekend."

"I understand your concern, Lorena," Albus said with compassion. "The official marriage date does not depend on us unfortunately, but rather on the outcome with Voldemort. Which we do not know. Think of this, maybe the official marriage will be when your father is out of jail. He could give you away then all the more officially."

Hearing this, Lorena's features brightened and a smile curled her lips in a manner that made Severus' heart leap in his chest. He felt a surge in his body, a rush to kiss her lips greedily for long, long minutes, even biting in them like he would in a ripe fruit. How much he would love that, possessing her mouth, searching it with his tongue, in a sensual, torrid caress ! Out of reflex, Severus licked his own lips with his tongue in anticipation. Fortunately for him, Albus did not notice anything.

"The only other person aware of your condition now is Ms Pomfrey. You shall not talk to her either, except for medical purposes. She'll surely notice the ring you'll wear but as for your schoolmates, not a single word about the Unbreakable Vow you would have made with Professor Snape. You got married, that's all. As she already knows who your child's father is, I suspect she'll draw her conclusions herself. Just tell her you cannot talk and she'll leave you alone. If she insists, let me know, leave that to me and I'll see what I can let her know."

"I'm sure Ms Pomfrey will be happy to know that I won't be an unwed mother," Lorena replied softly.

"Alright. Lorena, this is all settled. Severus, I trust you for the rings. Let's meet here at two o'clock then on Saturday."

Lorena was surprised by the Headmaster's request. She smiled at him. Severus said nothing but he took the words as a cue that the meeting was over. He grabbed Lorena's arm to go out.

Now, the issue was how she could bond herself in marriage with a man that had raped her that very morning ?

* * *

**_The song Lorena sings on the piano in the Room of Requirement is _"Almost Lover"_ by A Fine Frenzy - available on YouTube. I love that song and found it appropriate to Lorena's feelings about Severus._**

**Indecent proposal_ referred to the movie of the same name. We can see how much manipulative Albus Dumbledore is - not only he has Severus to manipulate but also Lorena now. I like to show that side of him. I hope I still have Severus in character - please feel free to tell me if I don't and why._**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! I reply to all reviews and questions._**


	35. Almost lovers always do

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**35**** – Almost lovers always do**

Severus brought Lorena back to the Room of Requirement as he knew this were she wanted to be. Once they were alone there, Severus took her in his arms and he began to kiss her on the neck. Lorena tried to repel him but her own senses caught her up and she ended up kissing him madly, both overwhelmed by their sensuality.

"I thought you did not want any more… intimate contact with me, Professor."

"Things have changed, Lorena. We'll be betrothed to each other in a few days and…"

"And ?"

"I still want you, more than ever, Lorena." He tightened his embrace around her.

"Professor Dumbledore said you'll stay in your quarters and I'll stay in my dorm." Her tone was firm and determined.

"That doesn't mean we're forbidden to make love together," he said with a silky, deep, sensual voice.

Lorena cringed and he noticed it at once. "What ?" he asked.

She felt embarrassed and lowered her head. "Tell me, Lorena."

She remained silent and just blushed, turning her head away. "I thought you loved sex with me."

She found the courage to reply. "I did. But you were so brutal with me this morning that…" She paused. "You raped me. Yes, you did." She lowered her head again. "I didn't want to but you… you went on… and you hurt me ! I said 'no' but you didn't listen ! How… how can I trust you now ?"

Severus understood her concern. He remembered his father beating his mother and doing to her things that a young child could not understand. With age, maturity – and a few Death-Eater revels as well – he had gathered what his father had done to his mother then. He had taken from her what he wanted and needed as a man – whether she liked it or not. "I want you, Lorena. I need you. I know my behavior with you this morning was not nice, but you know it, I'm not a nice man. Despite what you may think of me, I'm not the nice, gentle, kind man you believe I am." _I'm like my father !_ The realization struck him and he hated himself for a few seconds.

"I know that but all the same. I know deep down you are what you claim you're not. But I think I'll need a bit some time before we can… Please… Professor… In the meantime, just leave me alone. We'll make that Vow but… give me time. Please."

Lorena wanted to escape him. She loved him, she was sure of that, but she was afraid of his brutality.

The Potions Master was moved by her request. _Maybe I should add this to the list of the things I engage myself for in the Unbreakable Vow…_ "We'll take our time, Lorena. I need your trust. Otherwise, we'll never survive when we confront the Dark Lord together."

She raised her head to him and began to caress his chest. "I'm afraid, Professor."

He tightened his embrace even more. "I understand. That's okay. You have every right to be afraid of him. Everybody is. Including me. You just have to hide it and that's why Occlumency is essential for you to master. From the moment you're my consort, even secretly, you'll have to hide your fear and everything else that he can use as leverage against you. You and me. And our child."

"Will you be… gentle ?"

He raised an eyebrow. "For our Occlumency lessons ?"

"Yes…" she ended up saying in a whisper.

"I will, Lorena. I want you safe, I want you as mine. I… do not feel love for you, you know it. But I apologize for my brutality this morning. I got carried away by my passion and all the desire, the longing, the need, the lust, I feel for you. I can't promise you but I'll do my best that this does not happen again in the future."

"It won't happen, Professor. I won't let it happen. I don't want…" She fumbled with her words. "I don't want to… to have any intimate contact with you for the time being. Please. Let me go."

"For the time being ?"

"Yes. I need time… after what you did to me this morning." Her tone was cold, clipped.

_I may need more than time. I may never come back to you – even if I love you, Severus._

She was right. Severus caressed her cheek. Something elusive passed in him. His passionate temper had taken over him that morning, as well as his lust, his desire, his want, his need, his senses. Unless it was… love ? Love that just got him too much carried away ? No, love was something pure, devoted, selfless. Like what he had felt for Lily. Quite the opposite of what he felt for Lorena. She felt love for him. He just felt lust for her. Lust, desire, want, need, longing. A litany his senses knew all too well.

She shivered under his touch, but she could have not told why. "You may keep passion, Professor. You may keep desire and even lust too. It's just… I don't want them now. I can't handle them. I can't handle you. Please… Just keep brutality and violence for the Dark Lord, that's all. Promise me."

"I will, Lorena, I will." With that, Severus kissed her lips, first gently, then with more and more passion. He felt he was hard in his pants and he wanted her like mad. She had felt his bulge too under his robes. She removed herself from him swiftly.

"Please, don't, Professor ! Don't go believe that… that Vow will give you rights over me. From what I gathered, it'll give you only duties." She parted from him, turning her back on him, returning to the piano. She sat there and her fingers touched the keyboard, searching their marks there. She loved him but she did not trust his senses, his passion. She had learned the hard way how he could be really.

"Do you want me to play something for you ?" A change of subject was welcome.

The Potions Master checked his watch. They had about two hours before the student body arrived. "Yes… everything you know and love."

She smiled at him and went to the piano. With a gesture of his wand, Severus enlarged the small bench she used, so that they could sit there both together. She gathered what he had in mind and they sat there together. He just put a hand on her lower back while she played. For the first time, he would feel her emotions directly.

"Play for me what you played this morning, when I found you."

Lorena turned her head to him quickly, her brows furrowing, as if she did not understand.

"The one you said 'Goodbye my almost lover'… I want you to play and sing that one." His mouth was close to her neck, she could feel his breath on her ear.

"Why ?"

"I'm your 'almost lover', don't you think ? Your 'hopeless dream', your 'luckless romance', that 'brings you heartache', don't you think ? Play it for me, please, Lorena…" He kissed her ear, then her neck, his voice silky and deep.

Lorena perceived danger. She knew Severus Snape was a dangerous wizard, he could do harm, even to her, she had already had a taste of his violence. She wanted to tell him that he should let go of her. But she was unable. There was something sweet in his touch this time to which she could not say no. She realized it was her senses that prevented her from doing so.

"Professor ! Let go of me !" She managed to utter eventually. Her fingers pressed the keys on the piano in an angry sound of various, discordant notes. Lorena controlled the anxiety due to the Dark wizard's proximity to her. She had to reckon she was afraid of him, especially since he had forced himself on her that morning.

Lorena tried not think about this and mustered courage in her love for him. Her fingers ran on the keyboard and she began to hum the song and sing the chorus she had memorized. She was surprised that he had memorized some of the lyrics too.

When she had finished the song, she remained silent, attentive to his next move. She could feel his hand on her lower back, his mouth on her neck, grazing her skin there in a delicate touch that made her shiver. His other hand was on her thigh.

"It's good to feel your emotions when you sing, Lorena," Severus whispered. "It' like… when we make love, you and me…" His voice melted her down completely.

She turned her head to him. "Please, Professor…" Severus did not listen and caught her lips for a passionate kiss. Lorena gave in to his embrace, her hands left the keyboard, to grasp him, surrendering to him. He was right – her heart was beating wildly, her body wanted him, a powerful surge of love rose in her, from her belly, up to her head, sweeping like an orgasm. She sent it to him and their embrace tightened, gripping each other as if their lives depended on it.

They parted, panting from their kiss. "I want you, Lorena, like I've never wanted a woman before. I don't want to be your 'almost lover'."

_You want me but you don't love me_, she mused. "Please, Professor… Don't…" she whispered. _You want me but you took me by force. What am I going to do with that ? With my love for you ? How can I trust you now ?_

"I know, Lorena," he replied softly. He did not know what to do with her feelings. With that particular feeling of hers. He could deal with her anger, her hate, her sorrow, her anxiety, her fears. But her love… he was less sure. Her love had an unconditional quality that made it unique. He had never met such a devotion – except maybe the devotion he had himself nurtured for so many years for Lily, well after her death.

But there stood an almost 18-years-old girl, a virgin he had made his, that had saved his life, ready to give her life to bring him back to life. She loved him in a way he could not imagine, he could not feel, he could not return. Her love was pure and sensual, burning and soothing, unconditional and unrequited.

And there he was, standing as one of the symbols of evil for many, yet ready to confront danger and risking his life for the Greater Good, slave to two manipulative masters, object of such a love, about to bond himself with her in an Unbreakable Vow. All this for her sake.

For the moment, Severus Snape was just happy to hold her in his arms and possessing her in a deep, amorous, passionate kiss, perceiving an emotion from her he did not, he could not, feel by himself. He did not know when she would be his again but he deemed the Vow would be a good start. After all, she may change her mind as far as their physical relationship was concerned. He would be an 'almost lover' to which she could not say 'goodbye'.

* * *

Lorena went on playing. She played everything she knew and finished with the '_Adagio for Strings_' that she and Severus loved so much. She was playing her violin standing up. He was standing behind her, his hands on her waist, so that he would not hinder her movements while playing. She could feel his breath on her neck and somehow, it moved her.

She could feel his hands on her and the flow of thoughts and emotions between their respective physical contacts. It was the same for Severus who could feel all her concentration and emotion rushing to him. The virginity ritual had given Severus contact telepathy skills while hers had been enhanced.

He perceived her love for him but also how much she was afraid to lose him actually. Despite this, she was afraid of him too. Her feelings for him were completely ambivalent. She was afraid of him but she was afraid for him too. Boggarts made no sounds but somewhere he wondered if the '_Adagio for Strings_' would not be part of her Boggart background.

Severus remained silent, his grasp on her tightening after each crescendo. He marveled at her ability to both concentrate and let emotion overwhelm her. He could feel her crying in her soul. But she had a grip on herself as not to compromise the performance, as if she could channel focus and emotion in two different paths.

The emotion was building up between them two. Now Severus had clasped his hands on her belly, holding her tight against him. It did not prevent her from playing. In fact, his body was fitting exactly against hers and she felt good playing like that.

Then she stopped a few seconds at the end of the crescendo. She was about to resume playing when she felt something wet rolling down her neck. She could not bear it any longer. She turned her head towards his face and realized that was going on.

"You're crying, Professor ?" she asked softly.

He did not reply, he just pressed her more against him. Delicately, her mouth found his cheek and she got confirmation that the wetness in her neck was his tears indeed. She could not believe it and she was glad that he could let it go a little bit just like this. She kissed him there, tasting his tears on her lips. _I love you, Severus… Despite everything you did to me, I love you._

Severus perceived her thought somehow. He had never felt like this before – except when he had cried and cried over Lily's loss and death. But this time, his tears were of another nature. Bliss. Peace. Love ? He did not know if it could be called like that.

"Please… Keep on playing…" he pleaded in a hoarse voice, his throat tight with emotion, as if his very life depended on it. "Keep the magic on, please…"

Lorena smiled. She resumed playing, her soul feeling as light as a feather, as warm as a Spring day, more alive than ever. A powerful rush of love reached him and she felt he released a deep breath that felt like a sweet breeze on her skin. Maybe he would start healing and loving from now on...

* * *

**_I hope I've kept Severus in character - I wanted to show he doesn't know himself on which firm ground to stand as far as his own feelings for Lorena are concerned. We all know he's not very good at dealing with this type of feelings, despite how sure of himself he may be in general. Feel free to tell if you agree or not and why._**

**_The song is _Almost Lover _by A Fine Frenzy._**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! I reply to your reviews._**


	36. The beginning of the school year

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**36**** – The beginning of the school year**

The beginning-of-the-year feast had begun. For convenience, Lorena had been kept a seat at the very end of the Slytherin table, just in front of the staff table on account of her blindness. No doubt for Lorena that Severus wanted to keep an eye on her. She said nothing but thought the maneuver from her Head of House – and future betrothed - rather disturbing. The man would not let go of her that easily.

Lorena enjoyed meeting again the other students, from both Slytherin and the other Houses.

She was one year late compared to her mates back from fifth-year times. They were all now in seventh-year. Some of them greeted her, surprised that she could have made it back to Hogwarts. Some were less than happy. But she did not care. The other sixth-year Slytherins did not know her but they were nice with her. Some girls remembered her as the 'girl that had become blind' back more than a year ago. Some were troubled by her gaze, some others did not care. All in all, the dinner was pleasant. Lorena was aware that she was 18 among 16-years-old and that would be both a drawback and an advantage. Some would think she could be an elder sister, others would consider her as a retard to be so late in her education. She did not care and decided her age would be an advantage. After all, that would not be the worst issue. Being a Muggle-born in Slytherin was hard. Being pregnant out of wedlock promised to be even harder.

Her magic would be an asset. Some of them remembered that she used a particular brand of magic. Certain individuals had considered her as a freak as she was using a 'primitive' form of magic – they had even compared her to a house-elf. Lorena was aware of the prejudices running in her own House. She was barely considered as a half-blood on her lucky days, despite Professor Snape's assertions to curb House prejudices. Otherwise, she was seen as a Muggle-born, which was rather a rare occurrence in Slytherin.

Most of them, and Draco Malfoy first of them, considered her as a 'Mudblood'. Lorena just let them talk, aware they could be jealous about her academic achievements, them being purebloods doing less well than a Muggle-born. She did not care, confident that one day, she would hold her revenge over him. Despite her apparent meekness, she was a real Slytherin and would patiently wait for her time to come to inflict a scathing defeat to those that would despise her for her blood status, her associating with other students from other Houses, or her magic – should the opportunity arise.

Dumbledore addressed the student body once the Sorting ceremony had taken place for the first year students. He had several announcements to make as usual. He reminded everyone that the Forbidden Forest was forbidden for a very good reason and he intended that it continued to be so.

He also introduced the new staff members. Well, it had been a custom of some sorts : as the Defense Against the Dark Arts teaching position was cursed, each year saw a new teacher. This year was no exception.

"Dear students, let's welcome Professor Alastor Moody, our new teacher for the Defense Against the Dark Arts."

All the students clapped to signify their welcome.

"The faculty has decided it would be a good thing to intensify the teaching of the Defense Against the Dark Arts. Therefore, we have split the job between two teachers who are recognized as experts in that field. The pre-OWL levels, that is from first to fifth year, will have Professor Moody, who was an experienced Auror. The sixth and seventh years will have Professor Snape as their teacher."

The Slytherin table clapped even more wildly when they heard that their Head of House had been awarded the job they all knew he had coveted so much for so many years.

"Also, it has been decided that there will be dueling classes organized with both teachers, from Grade 4 on, the fourth and fifth years together, the sixth and seventh years together."

The news was welcomed by excited exclamations from the students. Now, that would be really interesting. Lorena herself remembered the duels she had had with Severus and found the idea great. She was even sure he was behind the idea.

"Of course, have no fear, you'll still have your Potions Master for the Potions class," the Headmaster continued. "Now, I wish you a wonderful dinner tonight and a smashing year of study again !"

Everybody clapped their hands for the Headmaster. Lorena clapped her hands too, even if in herself it meant that she would have to be in contact with Severus more than initially planned. She had chosen Potions and D.A.D.A., among other subjects, for her NEWT curriculum. But she knew at the same time that this would be a real improvement as the Potions Master was a real Dark Arts expert. She heard a Slytherin boy state that at least they would have first hand experience with someone like Professor Snape. "It is said he was involved more or less with You-Know-Who… Maybe he'll teach us some Dark stuff."

Lorena shivered and turned her head away. That was true. Severus was _still_ involved with the Dark Lord. She realized that her former lover and future betrothed, being the Dark Arts expert that he was, must have known 'Dark stuff' indeed. She felt ill at ease. Not only Severus Snape was a brutal man, but he knew things that no ordinary witch or wizard should know. Ever. He was dangerous, real dangerous. For her, for the other students maybe. For himself, for sure.

_And when I think I will have to marry him…__ To marry a Death-Eater…_ The thought scared her but at the same time, it had something reassuring somehow. If Severus Snape was dangerous for everybody – including himself – he could be so for the Dark Lord.

* * *

At the staff table, Severus remained cold and distant as usual. He had been happy to know he had received part of the D.A.D.A. job he had longed after for so many years. Of course, he was still the Potions Master of Hogwarts, brewing potions for the School and its Hospital Wing. He was so famous that he even brewed for St. Mungo's, especially very difficult or rare potions that required the hand of a Potions Master to be legal. Of course, he would still teach Potions to all the grades. That meant an increased workload. But Severus was happy to get the job he really wanted – even partially.

Of course, there was the issue of the cursed position. Albus Dumbledore had thought that splitting the position might weaken the curse Lord Voldemort had placed on it. That was worth trying. Besides, it could allow the Headmaster to intensify the course. The curse placed by the Dark Lord on the teaching that could endanger him most, had to be compensated by more teaching hours. Two competent professors would be most needy to tackle ignorance after all these years of nonsense. Two professors recognized as experts. Last but not least, Dumbledore believed that the final confrontation with Voldemort would be soon – in the year to come, as per Severus' reports. The Dark Lord wanted to take over the British wizarding community and its Ministry of Magic now.

Alastor Moody was sitting at the staff table just besides Severus Snape. Both men were talking in hushed tones together. They had discussed the issue of their teaching already and seemed to agree. They both believed in a straightforward approach, both in a practical and academic fashion.

Lorena had asked the other girls around her to describe her the new teacher. She had a precise image of the others as they were still the same as before she had become blind. She knew Severus' face like the back of her hand, thanks to their close relationship. But this Alastor Moody…

"He's very… well, ugly. Ugly as sin. His face's scarred, he must have broken his nose several times and he wears a magical eye that seems to see everything," a girl told her.

"He's the kind of guy not to mess with. Well, he was an Auror," another one said. "He looks like… he looks dangerous, methinks."

_Another dangerous man in the castle_, Lorena thought. _As if one was not enough. And both are in charge of the D.A.D.A. course._

"He's broad shouldered and seems to be tall. I heard they don't hire midgets for Aurors at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement," stated a third girl.

"Ah, thanks for telling me, girls," Lorena said. "You know, I remember all the other teachers from before but new ones…"

"Don't worry, Lorena. Honestly, he's so ugly that you don't lose anything looking at him."

"She's right, Lorena. He's so ugly that even Snape looks gorgeous besides him. You remember Snape, don't you ?"

If she remembered ? Lorena thought that she was probably the only woman here in the Great Hall to _know_ him better than anybody else. "It's _Professor_ Snape, will you ?" she retorted with a scowl. "He's our Head of House. Respect." _And he's not so ugly_, she went on in her mind. _If you knew him like I know him, you'll find him rather handsome. Gorgeous I'd say._ Of course, she would never dare voice that thought. "You know how he is about addressing him. Better come back to the good habits, don't you think ?" she added quickly so as to leave no ambiguity.

The other girls nodded and agreed with Lorena. She was right. Their Head of House was very particular on this topic. Better get into the habit again of addressing him as 'Sir' or 'Professor'.

* * *

Alastor and Severus were talking together at the table. Lorena could not see them talking and she was now getting acquainted with her housemates, talking with her about what they had done during the holidays. Lorena had discovered long ago that it was better to ask questions in order to avoid being asked questions.

Severus, on his side, glanced at the Slytherin table. There was one issue he wanted to discuss with Moody. The issue of one particular student.

"Miss Lorena Nottingham. That's the first girl sitting at the Slytherin table. With long, curly, dark hair. She's blind."

"Blind ? Honestly, Snape, you wouldn't have told me, I wouldn't have noticed."

His magical eye scanned the Slytherin table and indeed, he saw the girl with the long raven hair. She had pale gray eyes and the way she held her head told him she was blind indeed.

"She spent one year in an institution for the blind," Severus went on. "She's very gifted and I think it helps her to overcome her disability. I tested her."

"Tested her ?"

"She came back here during Summer. To get re-acquainted with Hogwarts. I tested her on D.A.D.A. and Potions. She's apt to follow the courses. Anyway, that should not concern you, she's in sixth year."

"Except during the dueling classes."

"True. I tested her on this too and you'll be surprised, Moody. The girl's powerful a witch."

"Mmmm. I think I'd like to see that. When I thought I had it bad when I lost one eye. That promises to be interesting indeed."

Severus was careful to show nothing of the interest he had in the girl. Aurors were trained to detect this kind of things and Alastor was no rookie in this field. The only thing that could justify a bit of interest was that as the Head of the Slytherin House, he defended the interests of his students.

Alastor did understand this and he took it as such. His magical eye kept on detailing the girl. She was a beauty and something moved in him. Something powerful. The girl had something the other girls had not. She was a woman. As an Auror, Moody promised himself to enquire more about her.

* * *

_**Here comes Alastor Moody. I wrote his part with Brendan Gleeson's image in my mind - I loved him very much in the movies. He looked gruff, funny and caring, just what I needed. Of course, you are free to imagine the Alastor Moody you want ! ;-))**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	37. The Unbreakable Vow

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**37**** – The Unbreakable Vow**

Lorena had chosen the bed in her dorm the closest to the bathroom and the exit for two reasons. She did not wish to disturb everybody in her dorm when her pregnancy would be more advanced. She wanted to sneak out of the dorm as often as possible if needed without drawing attention on her.

She was in the dorm occupied by four other sixth-year girls, young ladies that were one or two years younger than her. But she did not care. She did not wish to be with the seventh-years because she may need help from people with currently the same timetable as hers. She would have plenty of occasions to meet her former housemates now in the seventh-year too.

Lorena took a medieval-cut dress from her trunk and laid it on her bed. She closed the curtains of her poster bed around for privacy. She could not see physically but her extra sensorial perception compensated in this regard. The dress was made of a beautiful, rich, dark green fabric that suited her complexion and honored her House colors. It had been a gift from her beloved grandmother who had helped her modify it to accommodate the young girl's tastes.

There was nobody around in the dorm. She took the dress with her and went to the bathroom. She removed her school robes and the plain dress she wore under. She put the beautiful green dress above her undershirt carefully. She adjusted the dress once inside and she felt suddenly like one million galleons. She turned herself to the enchanted mirror and before she could ask it how she looked, the mirror exclaimed that the dress fitted her perfectly. She turned on herself so that the mirror could have a full view. The magical implement approved. Nothing was to be changed. She thanked the mirror and removed the dress.

The dress was one of her rare belongings that had real value. Beside the Snape medallion that hanged between her breasts. Severus had taken it back from Lorena, promising her he would give it back to her during the Vow ceremony. The jewel reminded her of Severus and what they had shared and been for each other, well before he had blown everything high sky by giving in to his lust.

Thinking of it, she decided she would not wear the dress for the Unbreakable Vow. No, this would not be the right opportunity to do so.

* * *

Saturday, after lunch. The Great Hall was almost empty of the students as there was Quidditch. Ravenclaw against Gryffindor. Not an official match, just a friendly training between the two houses. Yet everybody wanted to spend a lovely afternoon outside, watching the game. The whole school would be at the pitch. Including the Slytherins. Lorena was persuaded that her housemates would take sides for Ravenclaw – still that old silly detestation between Slytherin and Gryffindor. She had never followed Quidditch matches but she had to learn quickly how the inter-House rivalry dynamics worked if she wanted to make friends outside her House. Learning this was indispensable a knowledge, she had deemed in a true Slytherin fashion. In the sake of her relationships with the people from the other Houses, she was careful to avoid certain issues. The weather was fine so there was no reason for anyone not to go and see the match.

Except herself. And a certain Potions Master.

Lorena went to her dorm. There, she took everything she needed to get ready. She took a green dress – the same one she had on for the concert – a clean undershirt, her usual shoes. She made a beeline to the bathroom – as quick as her extra sensorial perception could allow it. She met nobody and closed herself in the bathroom. There was no noise in the dungeons. Nobody around.

She quickly discarded her garments, took a quick shower, put on the clean undershirt, the dress, her shoes. She put on some make up and arranged her hair thanks to magical spells – which was a great help for a blind person. The mirror complimented her too. She appreciated the magical implement, contrary to other girls who found it annoying most of the time. It was important for her to get another opinion when one's own eyes could no longer be used. Especially now as she could not tell another soul about her project.

Her fingers felt the void between her breasts, where the Snape medallion Severus had given her, used to hang. She liked to feel it several times a day, under her garments, like a reassuring presence. She missed it but today it should come back around her neck. She wondered what Severus had wanted to do with it. She preferred to hide it, not to attract attention on such a lovely jewel. Not that she feared theft but it would have triggered off too many questions about its origins, questions she did not wish to reply.

When she was ready, Lorena left the bathroom, with her plain clothes in her arms. She threw them on her bed. She checked around everything was in good order, closed the curtains around her bed. Her wand in hand, she left the Slytherin dorm quickly. It was almost two o'clock.

Lorena made it quick to the Headmaster's office. She was on time there. Severus was there too. He must have felt her presence as he turned towards her. She tried to feel if there was someone around before calling. Her extra sensorial perception, the bond she shared with the Potions Master made her sense Severus was already around.

"Professor Snape ?" she called out. In case there would be someone else, she preferred to call him formally.

"Miss Nottingham. Here. Follow my voice," Severus replied with a silky tone that sent butterflies in Lorena's stomach. She went to him and he took her hand in his. If he did so, that meant there was nobody around to see them.

The Potions Master was dressed in his usual attire, up to the black school robes. "Let's go inside and meet the Headmaster. I preferred to wait for you here, in case you would not know the password."

His tone was gentle. Lorena smiled at him. He said the password to the gargoyle that let them access the moving staircase leading to the Headmaster's office. Albus Dumbledore came to welcome them. "Ah, you're both here, that's great. Let's start then."

There, in full light, Severus watched Lorena. She was so lovely in green.

"Honoring Slytherin ?" he asked.

"Always," she said softly.

Severus was still looking at her, as if he had been cast the Imperio Curse and ordered not to part his eyes off from her. She was stunningly, divinely beautiful. His expressive black eyes glittered with admiration, need, desire, lust, possessiveness.

He detailed her outfit and the word she had spoken earlier reached his mind at last. Yes, she was proud to be a Slytherin. He noticed the Snape medallion was missing from around her neck. He smiled eventually.

"You're… beautiful, Lorena," Severus whispered once he remembered how to speak, his dark eyes sparkling on her. "Before we start… take this." Lorena felt the metal of the Snape medallion on her skin while the Potions Master was tying the necklace. The pendant was warm, certainly due to the time it must have spent in his frock coat pocket. Lorena closed her eyes, happy to have retrieved a familiar object.

Once he was done with the necklace, Severus turned the pendant between his fingers. On the back of it, a few words were carved : _Property of Prof. Severus Snape._ Now she was marked as his – in sort of. The bearer of the Snape medallion was a Snape property after all. "Just one thing, do not show it to anyone. Not even to your classmates or your other teachers. Nobody. It's between you and me only." Of course, he would not read her the words carved. Though he was sure she would figure it out soon.

Albus Dumbledore could not but grin. His Potions Master would have never admitted it but he looked like a man in love. Deeply in love. _And he doesn't even know it_, the old man mused. He sighed silently. "I suggest we may start. The Unbreakable Vow. The both of you, kneel down, face to face."

Severus took Lorena's hand in his and they both knelt down, face to face, as instructed. She was not looking at him properly said but her empty pale gray gaze was trained in the direction where his voice was coming from. His right hand seized her right wrist in a powerful grip. "Take my wrist in the same manner, Lorena," he told her.

She did as told. Her right hand grasped his right wrist. She could only grip half of it while his hand embraced fully hers. She knew how taller, bigger, stronger he was compared to her. She had not realized till then how fragile and small she had felt between his arms, consenting or not. His charcoal eyes had a smoldering look on her, ready to bore into her soul.

As the Bonder, Dumbledore had drawn his own wand out and got closer to them. The tip of it was almost touching the clenched arms. "Severus Snape, will you do every thing in your power to ensure the life of Lorena Nottingham be safe against Voldemort's deadly plans ?"

A second or two elapsed. The Potions Master had his eyes fixed on Lorena's face and yet he seemed strangely remote, his face blank as if he was witnessing the scene from a distance. The words sank in him – Albus had left him a relatively wide margin which he could maneuver on.

"I will."

A golden jet came out of Albus' wand and wrapped itself around their wrists, like a chain.

"Severus Snape, will you do every thing in your power and to the best of your abilities, to make sure that the baby Lorena Nottingham's carrying shall not be used by Lord Voldemort for his Dark magic purposes, and therefore take any required measure in this regard ?"

Severus' lips parted a bit. However, his words seemed to remain stuck in his throat. Albus' words had registered in his mind and he had to reckon that the Headmaster had been careful in his choice of words, so as to leave him the maximum chances to fulfill the Vow. Including sacrificing the child if this could thwart Voldemort's Dark magic plans.

"I will."

Another golden jet came out of Dumbledore's wand and joined the other jet, still glowing, adding an extra link to the chain forming on their wrists.

"Severus Snape, will you engage yourself to marry Lorena Nottingham, once this is possible in consideration of Lord Voldemort's plans, so that she may not end up a destitute, despised, unwed mother, as she's carrying your child, and so that your child may be legitimate ?"

The expression on his face was unreadable this time. However, through their bond and the contact telepathy, Lorena could feel the emotions that agitated him at this very minute. His feelings stirred her own. She refrained from sending him a love wave as she did not wish to influence him or tamper with the Vow's magic. He remained silent for long seconds that seemed like an eternity, measuring the oath he was about to take – and that would bind him to the young woman knelt in front of him.

"I will."

As Severus was letting out these two words, a third jet of golden flame slithered its way to their wrists from the Headmaster's wand, and chained itself to the two others, third link of a now glowing chain that magically bonded them together.

The chain continued to glow as such for a few minutes. At the same time, the Snape medallion began to glow too, as if it were interacting with the Vow's magic. Severus and Albus noticed it of course while Lorena felt warmth on her bosom, where the medallion rested. She said nothing though, just registering the fact, aware that the Snape medallion had been endowed with special magical abilities during the virginity ritual, besides its own very original properties.

When the Unbreakable Vow bright links had faded away, Dumbledore asked them to stand up. "Now you are both bonded by the Unbreakable Vow. You are both aware of the consequences if the Vow is not fulfilled or broken."

"Death for me," Severus whispered.

Lorena shivered. She did not want him to die.

"I guess you have the rings, Severus."

_The rings ?_ Lorena thought. _Two rings ?_

"Indeed, Albus. If you could hold the box for me, please." The Potions Master took a small box from his frock coat pocket which he gave to the Headmaster for holding. He opened it over two bands. These were no ordinary wedding bands however. They were made of a silvery matter. A close look showed that the bands were moving slightly. Each band was made of two tiny glittery silver snakes with emerald-green eyes, intertwined with each other to form a circle. Each little snake was no longer than three inches long but they were alive and hissing lightly.

Dumbledore could not hide his surprise. "Oh, Severus, Love-Snakes ! These are truly rare !"

Lorena could not gather what had prompted the Headmaster's reaction. "Love-Snakes ? What's that ? I can hear…"

She stopped in her tracks. The little snakes' hissing had reached her ears. She smiled. "Baby snakes around ? They sound cute." She listened to them. "I can hear them. They… They need… Are they asking for… love ?" She was puzzled.

"These are Love-Snakes indeed, Lorena." Severus felt the need to explain. "They always come as twins. They are used in some exotic love potions sometimes, more rarely as jewels. One of their magical properties is that once they find themselves in contact with a being that has accepted them, they remain motionless with their twin and retain their present silver color forever, adapting themselves to the size of the finger that welcomes them. Of course, they can be removed for a short period of time but they have to remain in contact with the skin of the person that has adopted them as much as possible. For that reason, they were used as the ultimate symbol of union and love, that is, wedding rings. However, as most people do not like snakes or even hate them, or at least do not see them fit for wedding rings, they are no longer used as such."

Something stirred in Lorena's soul. Severus had pronounced the words 'love' or 'loving' several times in a few minutes – more than he had ever done in several years undoubtedly.

"But I thought that they would be fine for you as you obviously do like them, Lorena. You're not afraid of them and I even thought that they would perfectly match your Slytherin pride. Silver color and eyes of emerald green."

"Indeed, Severus, you're right. And yours too, I guess." She paused. "Besides, if they are really rare… I feel honored to receive them."

"It must be said that to enhance the Love-Snakes' chances of survival, both bonded people have to wear Love-Snakes rings. Only one of them would be… weird. You see, these four come from the same batch. They have never been separated. They interact naturally with each other, therefore establishing a special bond between both rings. That's why I chose two rings instead of one."

At least, Lorena had one reply to her questions.

Albus was impressed, despite the fact that he knew about Love-Snakes. "More seriously, Lorena, how do you know they're asking for love ?" the old man asked, his blue eyes narrowing on the young woman.

She looked embarrassed by his question. "I… I just felt it like this. I have an affinity with living creatures, you know, Professor."

Dumbledore glanced at his Potions Master in a mute question but Severus was just looking at the little snakes writhing in the box. "They're hungry but they don't bite. We should not let them wait."

"You mean they remain alive, even as rings ?"

"Yes, they do. They just assume a silvery, motionless form but they're well alive inside."

"What does keep them alive then ?"

"They feed on what you give them from deep down your heart. They just need care and attention mostly."

"The cement of couples," Albus commented. "How true."

"And love," Lorena whispered. Severus said nothing. "And what can make them… die ?"

"They'll feed on what you give them. They die if they are no longer fed… properly."

His reply let Lorena thoughtful. _Does that mean that he has to give them love to feed them ? Does that mean that… he has to feel… love ?_

He took one pair of writhing Love-Snakes and put them in Lorena's hand. "You first. Don't be afraid, they look fragile but they're not. They'll even feel stronger once they're in contact with you. I think they'll appreciate your 'Earth' magic by the way. Don't worry either for your baby. Their magic has no effect whatsoever. On the contrary."

She felt the little creatures moving in her palm. As soon as they entered in contact with her skin, they formed a circle. With her fingertips, she seized them gingerly. They hissed but Lorena gathered that they were happy to feel a loving touch. She focused her 'Earth' magic on them. Without knowing why, she loved them already. Out of instinct, she sent a powerful love wave to them. That way, her 'Earth' magic would be with them – with him – like it had been when she had given him back the Snape medallion endowed with her love.

She took Severus' left hand but he moved back. "No. Not this hand, please." _The Dark Mark_, she could hear from him in her mind. _I don't know if it may kill them, but better be safe than sorry_. He gave her his right hand instead. Albus had understood at once the motives as if he had been in his Potions Master's mind.

The twin Love-Snakes had formed a circle, head to head, their little eyes sparkling like emeralds, their mouths in contact as it ready to kiss each other. She slid the circle thus formed unto Severus' long, thin ring finger. Instantly, the small snakes stopped writhing and adopted a motionless posture, almost kissing each other. Their eyes were still glittering though. They were perfectly fitting Severus' finger size.

"Looks like these two adopted you, Severus," Albus said. "That's a really beautiful idea you had indeed."

The Potions Master took the remaining pair between his long fingers. They were writhing and crying at the same time. "These two look very hungry. Give me your hand, Lorena." In contact with a human skin, the Love-Snakes formed another circle in his palm. Similar to his own ring, they were head to head, in the same posture, as if ready to kiss, their tiny eyes glistening. Severus slid the ring thus formed along her ring finger. They hissed a last time in obvious pleasure before assuming their silver, motionless shape, adapting themselves to her finger size. Lorena had sent them a love wave while Severus was sliding the ring along her finger.

"They look very snug on you, Lorena," Albus commented, aware that she could not see the outcome.

"I can feel it, Professor. Yes, I can feel they're alive inside. I don't know why but… they are."

"The power of love, Lorena," Albus said thoughtfully. "One of the most powerful magic. Don't forget it."

Severus remained silent. He was perfectly aware of the young woman's abilities to communicate with any alive being, through her 'Earth' magic. He had also felt the two love surges she had sent, when she had slid the first ring to his finger, when he had slid the second ring to her finger.

"Oh, I was about to forget the most important," the Headmaster said in a hurry. "Severus, now you may kiss your betrothed, of course."

The Potions Master glanced at the older wizard. He would have preferred to keep that for a moment alone with Lorena but he was aware Dumbledore would not relent on this one. At the same time, he did not know when he had the opportunity to kiss her again, from what she had told him earlier about her not wanting him to touch her again. Though he was not one to display his emotions in front of anybody, he would make an exception this time.

Lorena did not want to let the old wizard know that she did no longer wish to have an intimate contact with Severus. She said nothing, readying herself to accept the Potions Master's kiss.

This was the custom in any such bonding ceremony in the wizarding world. Severus took the young woman he had just bonded himself with by her waist and dragged her to him gently. He felt she put her hands on his chest. He perceived she was hesitant.

Severus tightened the embrace around her. Through the bond, he let her know all the longing, the passion, the lust he nurtured for her. His want and need of her. His arms embraced her frame and Lorena felt how far stronger he could be compared to her, how weak she could become between his arms.

He gave her a quick, shy kiss, his lips barely meeting hers, though he would have loved long seconds of a passionate, sensual contact. _Not in front of the Headmaster_, he thought. Real kisses would be for them only, once they would be alone. Yet, at the same time, Severus remembered that Lorena did not wish to have anything intimate with him any more.

Dumbledore smiled at the couple. Severus was still holding Lorena against him. His charcoal eyes glittered on her intensely.

_I desire you. I want you. I need you. I lust for you. _

_

* * *

_

_**So, how do you think Severus will feed his Love-Snakes ?**_

_**I was inspired by the **_**Half-Blood Prince**_**movie to describe the Unbreakable Vow ceremony here. I loved the intensity set by Alan Rickman in this scene, especially his gaze and expression. **_*******sigh*******_** Last but not least, the music is just gorgeous - I wrote this chapter with it playing in the background.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! More chapters to come !**_


	38. Save your breath

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**3****8 – Save your breath**

"I'll leave you alone for a few minutes," Dumbledore said. Somehow, he had guessed that the couple needed to be alone.

"Thank you, Albus," the Potions Master replied.

He was still holding Lorena firmly against him. She began to panic and tried to escape his embrace. "Please… Professor…"

"No, Lorena, I won't let you go." Severus held her tighter against him. He caressed her cheek tenderly, his right hand drawing the line of her jaw. "I won't… take advantage of you here. Not in the Headmaster's office." Lorena's right hand touched his as she closed her eyes under his caress. The two rings glittered in the faint light provided by the light filtering through the windows.

Suddenly, Severus took her lips with his, for a more demanding kiss. Lorena was surprised and she gave in to him. His tongue entered her mouth and searched it with an obvious pleasure. Lorena did not resist him, she loved his kisses.

Somehow, in the Headmaster's office, she knew she was safe, that Severus would not attempt anything violent against her there. Yet, the intimate contact proved disturbing for her. She was sad thinking that he could be so sweet and passionate in his kisses, and so violent and brutal when he had taken her, to the point he had raped her.

_I will have to marry a man that__ has raped me_, she thought with apprehension, realizing the implications of the Unbreakable Vow. She hid this particular thought deep down her mind. They parted after long, long seconds of a sensual, torrid kiss.

"Lorena, there are things we have to discuss before leaving. We're alone here, nobody to hear us." He went on caressing her cheek. "When we are together alone, you may call me by my given name and I will call you by your given name too. In any other occasions, however, you shall address me as 'Professor' or 'sir', as usual. That is, in class, in the corridors, at lunch, any places where we may be heard. Is that clear ?"

"Yes… Severus."

"Right. The same goes for gestures. No intimate gesture between us, not from me or from you."

"I told you I don't want any physical contact with you any more." There was a bit of anxiety in her voice. "You already got too much of me. Let go of me now !"

He resisted her pushing him. She remained between his arms, surrendering.

"No. Not until I've finished. We may be familiar with each other provided we're alone and strictly alone. That means in my office and quarters if the wards are effective. That does include Spinner's End too, provided there are no visitors there then. Otherwise, no gesture between us that may indicate we are somewhat… intimate. Did I make myself clear ?"

"Or that we _were_, Severus. I don't want you to touch me any more."

"And how are we going to do when I have to fulfill the last part of the Unbreakable Vow ?"

Several thoughts crossed her mind. She may die. He may die. They may both die. All this before they could fulfill that part. There would be many obstacles before they could do so – Voldemort was the main condition and he was the biggest obstacle by far.

Of course, Lorena did not wish Severus to die. She loved him too much for that. "The Vow specified you marry me, so that our child may be legitimate and me not an unwed mother. It doesn't mean anything else," she replied.

Severus looked at her, an angry glint in his dark eyes. "You mean we would marry and nothing else ? Nothing more ?"

Something in her heart broke at the thought. She shook her head negatively. "It's just…" She swallowed hard. "I told you, I need time before…" Her eyes filled up with tears. "It's just I can't follow you… in what you want from me… all the way… physically."

He sighed. It was all his fault. For a few minutes of lust to be fulfilled, he may have forfeited his relationship with her. Of course, there was that undying love of her for him. He knew that. "I'll wait then." _But once you're mine officially, I'll take from you what will be rightfully mine – you._

"A last thing. You won't see it but I prefer to tell you first so that you're not surprised or won't make a fuss. You have this ring on your finger so that nobody could say anything derogative about your being pregnant. However, I won't wear mine."

She stiffened in his arms. "But your Love-Snakes ? How will they survive without the physical contact with you ? They need it !"

Severus was moved by her question. Her primary concern had been for the little beings, not for her own ego or feelings.

"Don't worry about them. I'll wear the ring but not on my finger. I'll wear them on a chain around my neck, under my garments. That way, they'll still be in contact with my skin and they won't die. I promise you. Remember that nobody at the castle, and even less the Dark Lord and his followers, have to know that I got engaged to you. Even though most people are not that perceptive, even with their both eyes, they may notice we have just come up with rings at the same time. That's enough to trigger off suspicions. Last but not least, we have the same rings and some people, staff or students, may notice the resemblance and draw their conclusions. These are not ordinary rings."

"Why did you choose such rings then ?"

"As I had already decided I would wear my ring under my garments, the issue of choice was sorted out. I was then free to choose any ring I wished." _Because I wanted something special for you, Lorena. Something that would please you._ _Something quite unique for you and me. Something a real symbol of our bonding together. _Severus could not admit in front of her that – it was as if he admitted her he loved her. He could not even admit it to himself. To tell her so would be the same as lying in his opinion. And he could not lie to her.

She must have felt all this as she did not press the issue. Somehow, she felt that the rings could serve as talismans like the Snape medallion she wore. Endowed with enough elemental magic, the Love-Snakes could protect them after all. She would work on that. A strong intuition told her that the Love-Snakes were magical creatures endowed with the same magic as herself. Therefore, they should respond to elemental magic in quite a positive manner.

"I understand, Severus. I'd do nothing to put you in danger. Things are already difficult enough. By the way, I don't think many students know about Love-Snakes. Not even the staff – except Hagrid maybe. Though I'm not sure, as he rather likes to deal with bigger creatures, not tiny beings like these Love-Snakes." She chuckled. "Love-Snakes… I like the name. And I like them too."

Severus was pleased that she loved his present. His embrace tightened again, he gave her a fierce kiss. Lorena was surprised and she quickly gave in to him, her hands knotting around his neck, her resolve not to give in to him crumbling little by little. She loved his kisses so much. Too much.

After long minutes spent as such, they broke the kiss. Lorena had a pleased smile on her face. Her hands went from his neck to his face and she began to caress him there, _feeling_ his features. He let her do and even closed his eyes as her light fingers went over his face. She was blind, that was a way for her to look at him. Her fingers gently stroked his lips, drawing the design thereof – his thinner upper lip, his fuller lower lip, that lower lip she loved to lick with her tongue and graze gently with her own mouth. His lips had a perfect design in her opinion.

"You're so… handsome… Severus," she ended up saying. _I love your lips and your kisses… _She was aware he was not so handsome – at least in her memories before going blind. But his mouth, that was surely the part of his body that she liked most.

_For someone that doesn't want any physical contact with me anymore… _He refrained from commenting though, too glad to enjoy that moment. He was always surprised when she said that. He knew he was not handsome. As long as he had never dared tell her so, now he felt it was the time to ask her.

"Why do you say such a thing, Lorena ? You know I'm not. You must remember me when you were not blind. I taught you for five years, you had plenty of time to look at me !"

She smiled a little. "I know. I did. But physical sight stops at the surface of things and people. I can see further and beyond. I don't need to be blind to see what you really are behind the appearance you give. You don't fool me. That's why I say… yes, indeed, you're handsome to me." Her eyes glittered. _I love you._

"You don't see me with the eyes of reality."

"I do. I have the time to watch you for five years. I just changed my perspective by watching you with the eyes of a blind person, if this is what you mean. It confirmed what I had felt then. Deep inside, you're a caring man and your soul is… beautiful. Despite your violence and what you did to me." _I love you. You can't change that._

"Are you aware that I don't share your feelings ? Your… love is unrequited. Did it cross your mind ?"

"Oh, yes, it did. I'm willing to take the risk of loving you without you loving me. I had resolved to take that risk long ago. Who cares ? Besides, it's not so important now, I guess, as we won't have any physical contacts together anymore."

He cringed but she could not see it. "I do care. I…" Severus was at a loss for words. True, he did not love her like she did love him but at the same time, he did not want to hurt her – he had done so enough. _Another platonic love_, he mused. _Like with Lily._ Was he always condemned to such relationships ? Though he had already possessed Lorena carnally – while he had never had the opportunity to tell Lily how much he loved her and even less to prove it to her, by making love with her.

"Don't say anything else." She put a finger on his lips. "Just let me go now."

He did, opening his arms. There were things he could not understand and the love experienced by this young woman for him, was among them. He felt emptiness once their bodies had parted. He thought about the Vow he had taken to protect her and the child she carried. He thought about the Love-Snakes. Something stirred at his soul and in his flesh.

"I want you, Lorena. You can't deny that. You can't deny _me_."

She stiffened in her tracks. A look of panic crossed her features. "No… I don't think this is a good idea, Severus… Please."

"On the contrary. There won't be many opportunities for us to meet like this. Let's go back to the dungeons, to my quarters… Let me love you !"

His growling voice had something silky, raw and sensual. Dangerous. He came to her, caught her arm and tried to catch her lips but she turned her head away.

"I don't want, Severus," she managed to say. "Let me go."

"You keep telling me you love me and you don't want ?"

"My feelings for you are one thing. I'm afraid of… your brutality. I've already told you everything on this matter. Now, let go of me."

He had been really brutal, taking her without her consent, though she had consented to sleep in his bed for the night. Well, sleep only. But the morning hard-on had fueled his lust and he had taken her no matter what. Severus felt he would pay the high price for that foolish, unforgivable deed of his for a long time.

"I promise you I won't do it again, Lorena."

"You're just about to do it now though. Save your breath."

Her words reminded him of the moment when he had begged Lily to listen to his apologies when he had hurt her with one word. Now, things were worse, he had hurt Lorena with one ugly, cruel deed. Had he learned anything in all these years ? Was he still the same stupid teenager condemned to repeat the same type of mistakes over and over again ? _Not this time. I won't let her go. She's mine._

"Listen, Lorena, you're young, beautiful, intelligent, sensitive, talented. Every thing a man can wish. No wonder you raise desire in a man. What do you expect from a man still young, with the needs and the wants of a man of my age ?"

"Desire… Needs… Wants… that's all that drives you. Along with lust and passion and…" she sighed. _Desire, needs, wants, passion and lust. Sex. Not love. _She remembered she had agreed to love him even if her love was unrequited. _That doesn't include making love with him without any purpose._

"Yes, desire. Lust. Passion." He paused. Why was it so hard to tell her ? _Why is it so hard to tell to myself ?_ He sighed. "I want to make love with you. Now."

"You want to make love with me ? How do you call what you did to me a few mornings ago ? Besides, I'm not your wife yet, you know. No, Severus, I won't give in to you." She moved away from him and turned her back to him.

He looked at her, his black eyes narrowing on her. His Slytherin mind was working full speed. But she had already opened the office door and was out on her way down the stairwell. He went after her and took her hand in his. "Come with me. We can still spend some time together, you and me."

They were outside. She turned to him, her senses in alarm. "No, I don't think this is a good idea, Professor. Let me go !"

He did not let go of her. They arrived outside the stairwell together, his hand on her arm. He dragged her against him, forgetting all caution as anybody could be on their way to the Headmaster's office. He kissed her lips with passion. She did not mind kissing him, she loved that. She loved the design of his lips, as she had felt it under her fingertips. Severus kissed divinely well. Not that she had many trials before with other men or boys to compare but she just felt it so right.

They kissed for long minutes, lost in their embrace. Lorena did not feel then that Severus' hands were slowly moving from her face and neck to her waist, her hips. He pushed her against a niche in the wall. Very gently, he slid his hands under her dress and shirt under, his hands hot with passion. She felt it but it was so sweet… She went on kissing him sensually.

When she felt where his hands were actually, she pushed him away, rejecting him. "No !" she protested. "Let go of me now, Professor," she said in a hushed tone. She managed to escape him and hurried down the first corridor her steps led her to. She did not know exactly where she was going but she would find her way inside the castle eventually. All she wanted was to flee away from him, from his passion, from her fear.

He remained alone in the corridor, his male flesh throbbing with desire, his soul on fire, his heart full of a feeling of emptiness and loneliness. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it ? About her ?" Albus Dumbledore said. A light of deep compassion and understanding flickered in his steely blue eyes. "Or about what happened between you both ?"

The Potions Master's black eyes hardened. "No." He could not tell the Headmaster that he had abused her physically a few days earlier. Though he had the feeling the older wizard knew about it already.

"As you wish. Be patient. She'll come back. She loves you, Severus. Whatever you may have done to her, she still loves you. Just give her the time she needs."

The younger wizard turned his eyes away. He had the feeling that the Headmaster had used Legilimency on him – or her – and knew what had happened already. Without a word, he left the place in a hurry.

* * *

**"Save your breath"_ is what Lily had told Severus when he had tried to apologize to her (in _Deathly Hallows_, the _"Prince's Tale"_ chapter) - history repeats itself obviously. Or will it ?_**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	39. Encounter of a nasty type

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**39**** – Encounter of a nasty type**

Severus had come back to his quarters. Once there, he got himself a glass of PureFire whiskey which he drank in one gulp. Then he sat in his armchair, staring at the fire with a void gaze.

Suddenly he felt something warm tickling on his right ring finger. The Love-Snakes were motionless but he could have sworn that their emerald-green eyes had been twinkling. _She said that they are alive inside._ He may not be able to feed them as much as necessary but the love she could send him would. She loved for them both.

Before he may forget, he conjured up a thin silver chain, removed his wedding ring which he slipped in the chain, and he put the chain around his neck. But before he concealed it under his white shirt under, he stopped to look at the Love-Snakes. _His_ tiny snakes. Symbols of his House and now, of his commitment and… feelings for Lorena.

_My feelings ?_ Things were not clear in his mind in this regard.

Severus did then something he would have never thought he would be able to do. He brought the ring to his lips and kissed the Love-Snakes, before hiding them under his garments. He patted the jewel under his shirt and frock coat to make sure that they were cozy there, in direct contact with the skin on his chest. _I'm sure you'll be fine there, not very far from my heart_, he thought as if he was talking to the tiny snakes. Satisfied with the outcome, he straightened his outfit one more time.

* * *

Lorena was blind but she knew her way in the Slytherin area of the castle. Severus' quarters, office, lab, the potions classroom, the Slytherin common room, the dorms and the private bathrooms there.

However, knowing the place, belonging to the place, did not prevent from unfriendly encounters – from fellow Slytherins. Lorena was about to go out of the common room bound to the girl dorms when she heard a voice behind her that startled her. Her wand was ready though, her extra sensorial perception at its maximum, all her senses open.

"Hey, Nottingham, where have you been ?" sneered a voice she recognized.

"Draco ?"

"No, the heir of Slytherin !" he exclaimed with another sneer. "Unless you prefer my other title of… Slytherin sex god ?"

"Very funny, Draco," she said, keeping herself in control. He was still such a spoilt brat. "Always bragging over your so-called performances, as I can hear." She smirked at him frankly.

She felt he was moving towards her. "I didn't intend to make you laugh, Nottingham !"

"Pity. That would have been a change from your usual old boasting self," she said with aloofness. "I always knew you placed your ambitions too high as far as humor is concerned anyway." She knew how painful and nasty he could turn but maybe she was in her lucky day. He would just find it funny and leave her alone.

But she must have run out of luck somehow. Draco came closer to her. She could not see his face but the sound of his voice was angry enough to inform her that her joke had been lost on him.

"Don't make fun of me, you blind, filthy Mudblood !"

Lorena had her wand ready for a hex or a jinx in case. But Draco noticed only her hand over the Snape medallion. "What do you hide under your hand ?"

Lorena remembered the order that Severus had given her about the medallion, that nobody should see it. "Nothing of interest to you, Draco. Now leave me, will you ?"

"Really ? I'm a prefect and you shall address me as 'Mr Malfoy' ! What do you have under ?"

"Oh, come on, Draco… we've got the same age, we've been together in the same class for five years…"

He did not wait for her to finish her answer and removed her hand to reveal the beautiful jewel.

His gray eyes went up from the hem of her dress to her waist then to her bosom. His gaze fell on the Snape medallion she had around her neck. He could not help thinking that this girl was damn good-looking indeed – even for a Mudblood. "You look like you're going to the ball, Nottingham."

If it was a tentative compliment, it was completely lost on Lorena. With a quick gesture, she raised her wand at him, the tip poking at his throat. "You shall address me as 'Miss Nottingham', right ? Unless you wish me to turn you into what you are, a nosy little ferret that keeps slithering into other people's business ?"

He seemed to be taken aback by her threat for a second or two. She was blind but able a witch. Her empty pale gray eyes had something compelling that meant it. "Don't try to impress me with that primitive magic of yours, Nottingham !"

The wand poked more harshly into under his chin. "I'd be careful if I were you, Draco. You'd be surprised."

"And that medallion ? Where did you get it ? Whom you stole it from ?"

She paled under the accusation. "I didn't steal it. It's a gift."

Draco snorted. "You, receiving a gift ? We all know your only family's in jail ! Your father must have stolen it and sent it to you. That's why he's in jail, eh ?"

The pressure under his chin increased. "You know what, Draco ? You talk too much for a Slytherin," Lorena said with an edge. "True my father's in jail. But at least, he didn't land there for crimes as serious as those that can land you in Azkaban like certain people you hang out with. Or members of your family."

The blow was vicious. Draco had been surprised that she may know all this and use her sharp tongue for that purpose, as she was usually the quiet student type. The silent student could turn into an individual slinging scathing remarks around. He put his hand on her wand hand, thus entering in direct physical contact with her. "I know what you think, Draco. My primitive magic allows me to feel your thoughts. I'm a Slytherin too, never forget it."

Somehow, his grip was strong enough to ease the poke from her wand. "You, a Mudblood, belonging to the House of Slytherin ! The Founder of our House must be angry in his grave ! I really wonder sometimes how the Sorting Hat could have put you in here !"

"It placed me where I needed to be, Draco. Think of that. Now you let me go or I'll hex you with my primitive magic !"

As he was not moving fast, Lorena used her psychokinetics to move him away. Draco felt himself pushed into one of the sofas of the common room while the young woman was storming out to go to her dorm. He glared at her, thinking that he would have to get his revenge one way or the other. Besides, she was really lovely – why not enjoying her at the same time ?

* * *

Lorena entered her dorm with caution. No noise. Her extra sensorial perception told her that there was nobody either. She went to her bed and quickly got rid of her green dress which she put in her trunk. She put on her plain beige dress even faster. She tucked the Snape medallion back into her shirt, so that it could not be seen. She did not wish to have the same incident with Draco in the common room to happen again – and therefore draw attention and suspicions on her.

Once everything was tidied up in her trunk, Lorena laid herself on her bed. She closed the curtains of her poster bed to get more privacy. She sighed. She touched her ring. She did not have the time to study the ring earlier. Now, her fingertips touched the ring, feeling it gently. She could feel the tiny snakes, their bodies like metal, their eyes like small gems. She focused her elemental magic on the ring, visualizing the snakes in her mind according to the image she could get from her fingertips. They were alive indeed. She could feel it under the metallic, mineral appearance. She sent them a wave of love and in her soul, the tiny snakes writhed with delight. _Interesting._ Apparently, she could communicate with them in a sort of telepathic bond. She smiled, happy of her discovery. She wondered if that was the way they should be fed, if Severus could do the same. She would feed them that way and see the outcome. She was not sure if her former lover could do the same – didn't he keep saying he did not love her ? _Goodbye, my almost lover…_

She went down to the Great Hall for the dinner. Many students were already there, commenting about the Quidditch training match of the afternoon. Lorena went to the end of the table just facing the staff table. That way, she would be seen by Severus. She did not feel his presence however. She thought he had not arrived yet.

She felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. A sixth-year Slytherin student introduced herself and put a rolled, sealed parchment into her hand. "This is from Professor Snape, a message for you. He asked me to hand it over to you as soon as possible."

"Oh, thank you so much," Lorena said with a smile to her housemate. "Very kind of you."

The girl took a seat in front of her. Lorena felt the parchment, checked that the seal was still in place before breaking it. The students sitting around her wondered how she could read. Lorena heard murmurs but she did not care. She took her wand out. "_Yod Legimeo_," she said in her mind.

_Miss Nottingham,_

_Please come to my office tomorrow afternoon at 1400 so that we may check if you meet any issues as far as your disability is concerned. No need to confirm me your attendance as this is an order._

_Yours  
__Professor Snape_

Lorena said nothing and sighed. She could understand the tone he had taken in the letter. Well, pretty much like him after all. In case the parchment would have been lost, stolen, opened or whatever else. Not a clue about their relationship, even less about the Occlumency lessons.

Something tickled on her left ring finger. Lorena was intrigued. She tried to focus on him and discovered that whenever he was around, her Love-Snakes ring interacted with him – or more exactly with his ring.

The message said that there was no need to confirm. _Fortunately I haven't scheduled anything except spending a bit of time at the library._ Lorena asked the girl sitting in front of her. "Can you tell me if Professor Snape is at the staff table ?"

"Yes, he's just arrived."

_Interesting. Both rings seem to interact at least in close distance._ "Good." Lorena wanted to send the girl to confirm him she would come but she changed her mind. She did not wish to do contrary to his order and even less draw attention on them. Though Slytherin students knew that Professor Snape gave messages to students to confirm them detention hours or whatever else he needed to communicate to them personally.

"You earned yourself a detention, Lorena ?" the girl asked. "Already ?"

"Err… not exactly. But given my… being blind and all, I guess he wants to check on me, as Head of our House, you know. As protective as a mother snake."

She did not know if her explanation was credible but the other student chuckled and did not press the matter further. Lorena ate in silence, just listening to the other students' jokes or discussions, without really entering in them. Another girl of her year began to talk about sexual relationships during Summer and that kind of gossip. It raised some laughs around.

"And you, Lorena, we know you are older than us, you must have done it already ?" a girl asked.

"Done what ?" Lorena said, lost at that point of the conversation.

Her puzzled reaction raised some guffaws around.

"You didn't follow ! We're talking about _sex_ ! You must have already done it ! We've been told by the seventh-years that you're 18 !"

Lorena sighed but did not show her exasperation. Well, she had to admit that given her age, she would be surely one of the oldest students, at least in Slytherin. That would give her a special status, like that of an older sister, full of wisdom and experience.

"Err… That's not your concern, you know. And I'll turn 18 in a few days only." Then she realized that her waist would grow thicker in the next months. It would be ridiculous to play the virgin she no longer was. "Yes, I did it already," she admitted in front of the protestations of the girls at the table. She hoped that it would stop the other girls' interest in her. She was wrong.

"Whoa, how it was then ?"

"Yes, tell us !"

"Is it true that it hurts the first time ?"

Lorena knew she had to be really careful at this point. Things could slip out so easily. "Listen, I don't think that meal time is a good moment to have such a conversation. Sorry about that."

Protests ran through this part of the table. "I don't want to talk about it, that's all." Her tone was imperious and it silenced the girls around. "You girls will know with time the meaning of the word 'privacy'. You'll learn to value it too. Don't ask me, please."

"Well, we can guess then that means it wasn't blissful for you then," said another.

Lorena repressed a smile when she thought of Severus – how good it had been in the cave. Painfully delicious, at the beginning, as he was huge. But after getting used to his body… it had been blissful. Then she thought of the time he had taken her against her will. She bit her lower lip then.

"On the contrary. It was. It's just I don't want to talk about it. You may think what you want, I don't care. Leave me alone, will you ?" Lorena began to raise her voice hoping this would stop the girls. "You may talk about it between you, I don't care. Just leave me out of it."

"That's not funny. You're no fun, Lorena !" said a third one.

"I don't care what you think about me. Just leave me alone."

"You speak and act like Professor Snape !" said one.

_As long as they just don't question me any further…_ Lorena thought. But she had to admit that the girls considered her as a woman of experience now… She resolved to change tactics next time they would be on her back. She would question them instead. She was a Slytherin after all.

* * *

_**The chapter title is just a pun over the title of a famous movie. Oh well... I tried to be funny but looks like I turned out to be as funny as Draco is in this chapter. Nevermind. Though I do believe he's sexy. Slytherin sex god... OMG ! Keep an eye on him, you Draco fans and lovers, he's to become a more and more interesting character as the story develops. I've always believed there's more to him than meets the eye.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	40. My isolation is my shield

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**40**** – My isolation is my shield**

As told in his message, Lorena went to the appointment the Potions Master had given her. It was Sunday, the weather was nice outside and many students were out on the grounds or nearby the lake, enjoying their first Sunday at Hogwarts. At least, the corridors should be deserted.

Lorena knocked on Severus' office door. She had one of her medieval-cut dresses on, a light blue. Not that much Slytherin, but Lorena loved blue as well, beside green. The door opened quickly.

"Miss Nottingham, you're on time. Come in."

Lorena said nothing and did as told. Before closing the door, Severus sneaked a peek in the corridor, checking if there was someone out there. He closed the door and locked it with a ward and a silencing spell. The young woman heard the faint buzzing sound, registering the fact that she was locked in the same room with her… professor and 'almost lover', as she named him deep down her heart.

She soon felt him grab her arm, then she was against him, one of his hands on her face, his lips on hers for a demanding kiss. She gave in, surprised... and delighted. He was hungry for her, she could feel it in the kiss and his hunger was disturbing. They broke the kiss together. "I'm sorry about that, Lorena… I know you don't want this anymore but… I just… felt…"

"You're right, Professor. I don't want this anymore." Her tone was cold, belying her eagerness to take part in the kiss. "Now just let me go. Please." She had loved the kiss but she did not want to give him the impression that she would let him do whatever he wanted with her.

Severus was a bit surprised by her reaction. He changed subject, regaining his professoral composure. "I'm glad you got my message."

"There was no reason for any student not to deliver a teacher's message to another student. We all know that you often do this and we comply."

"I noticed that the girl that had delivered the message to you went to eat with you. You seemed to have a nice laugh with the girls at dinner yesterday."

"They started to talk about sex and they got me onto this, Professor. They began to ask me if I had already did it as I am about two years older than most of them."

"And what did you reply ?"

"That yes, I already did it, sir. I was about to say no but…" She lowered her gaze and put a hand on her belly. "I could not say no…" she said with a small voice. "But then they began to quiz me about it, how it was, if it was great, painful, etc. The typical teenager questions, you know. I sent them packing. Meal time is not the exact time for such conversations and I wanted to keep my privacy for me. So they went on saying that it had not been great for me and all that jazz. That's all, Professor." She would certainly not tell him they had compared her to the Potions Master, understating that he was not the funniest man around.

"Well. I guess you will have more of this kind of questions. You have the answers after all."

"I expect them but I will question them to avoid being questioned, sir. After all, attack is still the best defense. As for the answers… having them doesn't mean I'm going to share them."

He chuckled. "How Slytherin of you ! No doubt that you excited their curiosity now."

"I don't care, as long as they leave me alone, Professor. But I suppose that I'd prefer this kind of questions compared to the moment when…" Her voice trailed off. Once more, Lorena put her hand on her belly.

Severus wanted to drag her against him. But her cold tone after the kiss prevented him from doing so. "It's fine. It won't show before Halloween, I guess. Do you feel better with the three-drop potion I gave you ? Are the pains gone ?"

"Yes, sir. They've cleared away. I can have a normal start of the day. Thanks to you, Professor."

"Good. Now, I asked you to come here for a special purpose. Not to discuss about your disability like said in the message. But for what Professor Dumbledore requested me to teach you."

"Occlumency ? Sir ?"

"Yes. We need to start as soon as possible."

Severus could read on her face that she was worried. Well, the first lesson had been a sheer disaster. "Do we really need to do this, sir ?"

"Yes. You'll have to meet the Dark Lord on Halloween, don't you remember ? He's an accomplished Legilimens, you'll have to learn to hide your thoughts and emotions deep down enough so that he won't notice anything. That includes your emotions towards me and of course, the facts that I deflowered you, that we are both bonded through an Unbreakable Vow, and that you carry my child."

She nodded. "Will you be gentle ? Professor ?" she asked softly.

"I will. I talked about it with Professor Dumbledore and he explained to me that… that your abilities made you not necessarily stronger but more sensitive. Your contact telepathy is different from the Legilimency I or Albus or the Dark Lord master. It doesn't mean you know nothing. It's just different. Your own brand of Occlumency consists in avoiding or refusing thoughts and emotions received from physical contact. Our Occlumency consists of burying our own thoughts and emotions under layers and layers of other insignificant thoughts or emotions. Which is not exactly the same thing."

"Yes, sir, I understand now. Where I build up mental shields to repel thoughts or emotions coming from other people, you pile up layers… My defense is vertical while yours is horizontal."

"That's a good image indeed, that could sum it all up. Now come with me." He took her hand in his and led her towards a stool. "Sit there, on the stool. I'm sitting right in front of you."

They sat. "Now, Lorena, do not forget that eye contact is crucial to Legilimency. A Legilimens needs to make eye contact to enter minds. You cannot do so because you're blind. However, contact telepathy is similar to Legilimency, just the means to access is different. But on the other side, a Legilimens like me or the Dark Lord, will need to look into your eyes to enter you mind."

"Professor, I've always wondered… how come that is possible as my eyes are blind ?"

"It doesn't depend on the person's physical ability to see or not. Blind or not, eyes still remain the portals to the soul. Keep that in mind. Keep your eyes lowered in front of the Dark Lord, like we all do. If he asks you to look up, do as told but then Occlumency should kick in to help you."

"He knows that I'm blind," she said softly to herself.

"Yes, he does. He was the one that had cursed you so that you may become blind, stop your education here and be an easier prey for him. He wants you for different purposes. We'll discuss this later. Now for the lesson. Prepare yourself. I will try to enter your mind."

Lorena felt panic grow in her heart. Her hands gripped her lap. She turned her head away, hoping her blind eyes would not meet his gaze.

"Look at me."

"You're going to hurt me !" Her voice was hoarse with fear now.

"No, I won't, I promise you that. I'll do it gently first." His tone had nothing gentle though. He took her face between his hands so that he could look at her eyes. "Like the first time we made love, don't you remember ?"

"Yes…" Well, it had been painful too. Deliciously painful though. The loving memory triggered off a pang of desire in her that she repressed mercilessly. He should not have reminded her of this moment. Her lips parted and Severus resisted his urge to kiss her. He entered her mind, mentally casting the _Legilimens_ spell.

Lorena felt him enter her mind indeed. But this time, it was gentle, tender, almost caressing. She tried to remember what he had told her about the layers.

From his mind, she heard 'Focus ! Focus !'. She tried to focus but had difficulties doing so as his mind was powerful. She quickly lifted her mental shields but had to reckon they were not enough. She added layers and layers of memories and souvenirs that had nothing of interest – instead of rejecting him, she accepted him, choosing carefully what he could see in her mind and soul. She hid her love for him, the memories of the ritual in the cave, of their union, of the Vow, of the child she was carrying. Everything important was buried under tons of unimportant memories, memories from Hogwarts, from the institution for the blind, from her childhood.

Severus pulled off her mind. "That's better. That's promising, you got the gist of it, I think. Now you have to train more." He paused, looking at her. "Remember, do not let him have a hold on you with emotional memories. Memories of you passing your OWLs are fine. Memories of your relatives, with an emotional content, may be used against you. Be careful with that. Once you're focused, you may select the memories you deem fit to be seen."

"What if… if I send him… love waves, Professor ? This is an emotion he cannot handle, that should leave him puzzled."

"Don't count on this, Lorena. The Dark Lord doesn't know what love is, in the terms of what we know for example. He doesn't care about love even less. But he surely knows how to _use_ the power behind it. He's after that. Power is the only thing of interest to him. If love means power, so he will use it and return it against you. You were right in asking that question and I invite you to do so every time you may have a doubt. Because in this instance, love could have been turned into a weapon against you in his hands."

"I understand, Professor. I'll be careful."

"As a general rule, do not feed him with any emotion at all. They are as many grips on you he may seize. Your mind must be smooth and devoid of as many emotions as possible."

"That's why the faint light of your soul is buried so deep, sir ?"

Severus hesitated before replying. "Yes…" He felt his throat aching. "I'm just a servant to the Dark Lord… a slave… his slave… an object he can use to his own will. He has no need of a commodity such as… my soul. It's the only valuable, the last free place I have left in me, I don't want him to spoil it, to break it, to destroy it."

"But you did let me access it, don't you ? Sir ?"

Severus nodded before remembering that she could not see him. "First, I was not sure. I didn't want you to access it because… it had been so hard, so painful to bury it. My isolation was my shield. My soul had been ripped apart so much already. That small piece of light you found deep buried was the last part of my soul left intact. I wanted to preserve it as much as I could. But when I knew that you would not hurt me, yes, I let you get there to it."

"I would never hurt you, Professor. Never."

"And there was that time when you retrieved it to save my damned life !" His voice rasped. "I never thanked you for that, Lorena."

"You don't need to thank me, Professor. I…" _I love you._

"I have a life debt towards you now."

"You already paid it back, Professor. With the Unbreakable Vow. And every thing you did, are doing and will do for me. Including these Occlumency lessons."

Lorena wanted to move her hands towards his face. She needed desperately to touch him, to feel him, to soothe him, but she refrained from doing so. He perceived her emotion though. It even crossed his mind what her reaction would be if she saw him physically. She may find him repulsive… not only physically but also mentally, with all the crimes he had done…

"No, Professor, I won't find you as you just thought. On the contrary. I see with the inner eye and for me, you're…" _You're the most handsome man ever and your soul is certainly the bravest I've ever met. _She preferred to keep that thought for herself.

The Potions Master remained quiet. He caressed her face with the back of his fingers. She closed her eyes in appreciation. He leaned to kiss her and they ended up in a tight embrace, their tongues tasting each other again with delight. Their respective mental shields melt like snow under the Spring sun and their souls met in a blissful contact.

Lorena felt a tickle on her left ring finger. Severus felt the same too but they did not need to voice it. The message passed freely from one soul to the other. Inside their metal cover, the Love-Snakes writhed with pleasure and life, their emerald green eyes sparkling with joy and bliss. Both lovers just had not noticed, too busy as they were kissing each other like mad. But the bond between them grew stronger.

They resumed the Occlumency lesson. Severus tried every manner of Legilimency on her to test her resistance. After an hour of doing so, Lorena begged him to stop. She was suddenly tired, drained. He agreed to end the lesson. The trials had been promising and he was confident she would progress quickly this time.

They decided she would have to go directly to the Potions classroom for the next session. Severus was to pick her up there and lead her to his office for the Occlumency lessons, so as not to attract attention. The Potions classroom was the last place in the whole castle where students wanted to be, even Slytherins, especially during weekends.

Towards five o'clock, Lorena had gone out from his office, not before Severus checked if the corridor was empty. Lorena had the reputation of being a bookworm – no wonder if she spent her free time somewhere alone with a book. Who cared to spend free time with a blind girl anyway ?

Except her Potions professor and 'almost lover'.

As she did not wish to raise the issue of their relationship, Lorena had decided not to talk to him about the tickling she felt on her ring finger every time he was around. After all, she was alone in his office, an office heavily warded, on which a silencing spell had been cast… He was stronger than her, a powerful wizard well trained in the Dark Arts, he could tame her to his will – he had done so already. A dangerous man. A Death-Eater. She had had already a taste of his violence and she did not wish to renew the experience.

All the same. Deep down, Lorena still loved him, more and more each passing day. She wanted to love him, she wanted him to love her – even if she knew this was not possible. She had resolved to love him as such long ago, unconditionally, while surrendering him nothing, keeping her own longing shut, since that fatal morning when he had taken her against her will.

Maybe one day… he would love her. Maybe one day she would be able to go back to him.

* * *

**_I hope I've kept Severus in character here. Please feel to tell if I'm going too far..._**

**_For all those out of there who are geniuses and wizards with drawing and photo-manip, please feel free to use my work to spur your imagination - just provide me with the link so that I can admire your work and leave a review for it._**

**_Please rate and review ! The muses need feeding. Thanks in anticipation !_**


	41. In the common room

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**4****1 – In the common room**

September passed by quickly without any incident. By the end of the month, Lorena had acquired a fairly good control of Occlumency. She was not as good as Severus yet but she promised to be so. After all, they still had one month to get ready in this regard. Her pace of progression was steady and Severus had good prospects that there should no problem for her meeting the Dark Lord on Halloween.

The bond between them had deepened – without them noticing really. They were together for the lessons. Therefore, they did not pay attention to this kind of details, above all as Lorena kept her distance with him since his raping her, despite the Unbreakable Vow, despite the bond set between them with the life debt he owed her.

Not only Severus had benefited from part of her abilities – he could perceive thoughts and emotions by touching people now – but she had received the same from him, which had helped her to progress in the Occlumency lessons at a far faster pace than scheduled. She may not become a Legilimens in the future, because she was blind, but she could hide her thoughts and emotions deep down under thick layers of insignificant memories. She had gained a good control of her emotions as well, so that the Dark Lord may not use them against her.

* * *

October arrived and with it, rain and wind. The days were shorter too. Nobody had noticed that Lorena was nowhere to be found on Sunday afternoons. She was very happy like that. No further questions asked.

There had been a close call though. One 'girls-only-evening' in the Slytherin common room had been close to disaster. Lorena was no fool – she was aware that her status as one of the oldest students in Hogwarts granted her a status as an 'experienced' woman among the younger girls of her class and House. Especially after one of them had noticed the silver ring on her left hand. After that, everyone wanted to look at the ring.

"Oh, snakes, how lovely, Lorena !"

"You truly love our House !"

"You're a real Slytherin !"

"What a nice way to show you're proud of being a Slytherin !"

"Where did you get it ? So cute ! I want the same !"

Lorena had fallen silent after the mention of the ring. She knew she was threading on a dangerous ground. Out of reflex, she used Occlumency. She had started the habit, just to train, aware that none of the students present may be Legilimens themselves and even less contact telepaths. But some of them had relatives who could have taught them Legilimency. She did not wish to have her love life and other secrets spilled out in the open in the Slytherin common room, or in Hogwarts.

"I was given the ring. I don't know where it comes from actually."

Every thing looked under control up to the moment a dreaded comment was made. "Looks like a wedding ring to me. I've heard that some people use snakes as a symbol of love," a girl said.

Lorena recognized the voice. Pansy Parkinson had spoken up. She was a few months younger than Lorena and both girls had been in the same class during their first five years at Hogwarts. Lorena's mind raced fast. "Well, not surprising. It's a phallic symbol after all. Health and fertility, I guess," she quickly replied. "Just a possible explanation."

Pansy snorted. "And how much do you know about… phalluses ?"

Everybody around began to giggle. Sex was back again at the centre of conversations – all the girls present knew that Pansy was with Draco Malfoy. Snogging and shagging and all.

"Lorena said that she had done it once already !" exclaimed one of the girls.

Giggles around again. Lorena remained silent.

"Well, doing it once doesn't qualify for experience, don't you think ?" Pansy retorted, irony dripping in her voice.

"Better than never done it though," countered another girl.

Lorena wanted to laugh at the same time. Not only she did have sex more than once, but also with a man of experience, not a mere 16- or 17-years-old. But she would never said such a thing. Better remain silent and let everyone around mock you. As usual.

"You don't say anything anymore," Pansy said with a dangerous tone in her voice. "Is that because you've been shagged once only and the guy decided you were not worthy enough as a… blind, filthy Mudblood ? Maybe you were shagged by a Muggle ?" she ended with a snort.

Lorena did not react – she did not show it at least. Instead, she just buried the anger that was building up in her mind. A good exercise indeed. It was difficult to be a Slytherin at Hogwarts and even more being a Muggle-born in Slytherin. "Just try to think with your own mind, Pansy, instead of repeating what others may say all the time," she retorted coldly. "This time."

The allusion to Draco Malfoy was clear. Pansy's nostrils flared with anger too but she restrained herself. Lorena was blind but she had abilities that were beyond her grasp. Pansy did not wish to have a taste of it. The witch was powerful, Draco had told her to be careful. He had feel too much ashamed to tell her she had bested him the day he had provoked her in the common room. He had just mentioned she was dangerous and crazy.

Pansy was angry and she did not follow Draco's advice – this time. "Yes, you're just a blind, filthy Mudblood ! I don't repeat it, I just fully agree !"

"Give me a break, Pansy, will you ?" Lorena said with a cool, dangerous voice, in a very good, yet unaware, impersonation of the Potions Master. Without a single gesture or look towards Pansy, she kindled a fire curtain between the girl and the rest of the group, herself included. "I suppose we can resume our conversation now ?" she suggested lightly.

The other girls were too much in awe to say anything. One girl left the common room while the others whispered. Lorena quenched the fire she had kindled. There was no damage on the spot where the fire had been. Lorena could feel that now nobody would dare challenge the 'blind, filthy Mudblood' she was. For despite her origins and disability, she was a powerful witch indeed.

"I'll make you pay back for that, you filthy Mudblood !" Pansy screamed while leaving the room. "I swear I'll seize the opportunity to do so !" She stormed out of the place.

"You forgot 'blind'," Lorena added quietly, before the other remaining girls cracked up in laughter.

Lorena pondered how she could have made it for five years in Slytherin House, without any major incident about her origins and blood status. ___Well, I suppose it had to happen one day or so…_

* * *

**This chapter introduces the next chapter. It also gives an insight of what may happen in the Slytherin common room - not always easy, but who said it would be so, especially for a Muggle-born sorted there ? I have nothing against Slytherin, as I would have been sorted there - this is my favorite house in Hogwarts. Where would you have been sorted, dear readers ? Feel free to leave a note to say so.**

**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**


	42. The dueling class

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**4****2 – The dueling class**

The opportunity did arise two weeks later. As announced on the first day, the Headmaster had decided to split the Defense Against the Dark Arts (D.A.D.A.) position between two teachers. Ex-Auror Alastor Moody would take care of the first-years up to the fifth-years and would prepare them for the OWLs. The other teacher would be in charge of the sixth- and seventh-years, and would get them ready for their NEWTS. This teacher was no other than Professor Severus Snape himself.

Lorena had had excellent grades at her OWLs. 'O' everywhere. Had she had not been blind, she would have taken more but she had to admit honestly that she could not take too much, especially with a baby on its way. Severus had discussed the matter with her during Summer. He had explained to her that five NEWTs were enough for most careers, that it was not the number of NEWTs that made the student worthy but the final results indeed. Better take five subjects only and get them brilliantly rather than take too many of them and get average marks. She had agreed to his reasoning and settled for five NEWTs only. She had chosen to continue with Potions, Charms, Arithmancy, Herbology and D.A.D.A. for her final graduation exams.

Alastor Moody and the Potions Master had decided to organize a dueling class where the students would be gathered, in the same room where he had trained Lorena during Summer. The two teachers had deemed that now the students had gained enough knowledge to take part to such a class.

The former Auror remembered the young woman that had attracted his eye on the very first evening of the year at Hogwarts. _She should be here. Snape told me she was in sixth-year._

Severus announced they would introduce them to the art of dueling once every three lessons from now on and that the class would be conducted with the fourth- and fifth-years together in one session, and the sixth- and seventh-years together in another, all four Houses mingled. The dueling class being deemed a practical class first, the two D.A.D.A. professors would not be too much to teach and monitor the students.

"First, I will set up a little demonstration first with Professor Moody. Pay attention to how we behave." Both men went up on the catwalk and met at the centre. They saluted each other before the dueling and stepped away from each other. Once they were apart about twenty feet, they turn towards each other and cast their charms.

Moody cast a Body-Bind hex while Severus deflected it with a flicker of his wand. The students were in awe : he had done so non-verbally, using the Shield Charm, from what the older students observed. He had the reputation of being a powerful and somewhat Dark wizard – which was perfectly true.

"Thank you, Professor Moody," he said to his colleague. "This is an example of what can happen in a duel. Now your turn. I need two volunteers." Severus' gaze lingered over the student body and most of the students lowered their heads, hoping they won't be chosen. "Someone from Slytherin, for example ? Any volunteers ? Perhaps… Miss Nottingham !"

There were a few snickers around and a lot of whispers among the kids. Lorena had hoped too that he would leave her alone and she wondered what had gotten into her teacher's mind to choose her. Maybe because he knew how well she could behave in a duel. He had taught her during Summer. Unless it was another one of his weird ideas. _No, he knows I'm aware of how to behave._

Using her extra sensorial perception, the blind girl reached the other end of the catwalk, the end where the Potions Master was standing. She walked up there, wand in hand, her school robe billowing behind her above the school uniform she wore. She walked towards the middle of the catwalk, meeting him there.

Alastor Moody watched the girl. She looked at ease despite her disability. Yet, he thought that Professor Snape was hard with the girl, choosing her for a first duel, among all the students. But he knew about Snape's reputation of harshness, even with his Slytherins.

"Come on, we need another student !" Alastor exclaimed. "What about someone from Gryffindor ?" He asked a student he knew that would not be too much of a threat for the blind girl. He wanted to balance her disability with a less powerful or proficient student. A sixth-year would be perfect. "Mr Longbottom ! Come here !"

Neville Longbottom went up to the catwalk. He was not much reassured but he assumed that a blind girl should not be much a threat. Severus smirked. He had perceived the boy's thoughts – they were plain written on his face.

"Miss Nottingham, as you're at a disadvantage, you'll take the lead for the salute," Severus said aloud.

"Yes, sir."

He put a hand on her arm, to enter into contact with her. _No psychokinetics. No fire. You may use your extra sensorial perception_ _though_, she could hear in her mind. _This is just a demonstration. _

She only nodded.

Both students met at the centre of the catwalk like their teachers had shown. She raised her wand in front of her face, then lowered it down to her side. Neville did the same. They both turned on their heels in a complete 180°, and walked about a dozen of steps away from each other.

She got ready, not knowing when the attack would come.

"_Petrificus Totalus_ !" A jet of light went out of Neville's wand but before it reached her, Lorena yelled "_Protego_ !". Her shield charm deflected the Gryffindor's spell despite all the energy Nevillle had put in casting.

An admirative murmur went through the student body. Neville was looking at the blind girl with a puzzled look that made Severus smirked even more.

"Excellent, Miss Nottingham. Ten points for Slytherin," was all he said.

"And ten points for Gryffindor too !" Alastor added quickly. "Thank you, Longbottom."

"This is how a duel is conducted in terms of manners and exchange. You'll also learn how to block unfriendly spells, like Miss Nottingham just showed. Attacking is one thing, defending oneself a whole another. Now, another student to take Mr Longbottom's place and continue the duel against Miss Nottingham ?" Once again his gaze narrowed, searching for the good match.

"Pfff… She's blind, I'm sure I'll best that filthy Mudblood !"

The words had been said quite loud as Severus was walking by a bunch of Slytherins on his right side. He had heard them enough clearly to identify who had uttered them. "Sounds like Miss Parkinson is eager to participate. Parkinson ! Up !" He would have chosen somebody from another House but he deemed that Pansy Parkinson needed a lesson. Above all from a 'filthy Mudblood'. Knowing Lorena's abilities, he was confident she could give her that lesson. It would serve Parkinson right, without Severus being too harsh on her. He walked back past Lorena and retreated at the end of the catwalk behind her.

The girl growled but looking at the scowl of his Head of House, she said nothing. Besides, she could put on a nice show by overthrowing that Mudblood. That blind, filthy Mudblood. Who had ever heard of a blind witch dueling ? What a joke ! Pansy held a grudge that could just be avenged in a completely licit fashion and for everyone to see.

"You'll cast your spells to disarm your opponent and only to disarm. On the count of three !" Severus' deep voice boomed in the room. Everybody was watching intently, even more as everybody knew that Pansy hated Lorena.

Pansy and Lorena met at the centre of the catwalk. The first girl had a sneer on her face. She was taller, bigger than the blind girl. Once they were close to each other, she was struck by the determination filling Lorena's empty pale gray eyes.

"Scared, you blind, filthy Mudblood ?" she said aloud.

She smirked. "You wish." Lorena snorted distinctly, so that the students around could hear her. Her tone had nothing sweet any more, which disturbed Pansy for a second.

"Wands at the ready !"

They both drew their wands in front of their faces, repeating the same routine. Once they had walked a dozen steps away, they turned to face each other.

"On the count of three…" Severus began to count but before he had even reached 'three', Pansy cast one of her preferred spells, one that Draco Malfoy had taught her.

"_Everte Statum_ !"

Lorena was ready but as she had expected the attack to be launched once the count would be over, she was taken off guard. The spell was particularly efficient. It sent her flipping in the air towards the end of the catwalk where Severus was standing.

She landed hard on her bottom, at the feet of the Potions Master. Her legs were wide spread, in front of him and the other students gathered around. Some of them leered at her. Her school robe and skirt were up and showed up her thighs. For a split second, Severus was troubled. And so were some of the students around. It was revealed that the girl wore black stockings – not tights – complete with a suspender belt and black knickers.

"Oh, suspenders ! That's pretty exciting !" one of the boys noticed.

"Hey, see, she has nice legs !" someone shouted.

"Looks like she loves to spread them !" another said with a lewd voice.

"Yes, she's ready for the taking like that," a fourth one leered while the others laughed heartily.

"Yeah, I'm sure she likes that, like the other Slytherin sluts !" a fifth one said amid guffaws from his peers.

The nasty remarks triggered off the Potions Master's wrath. These little jerks did not know it but they were talking about his betrothed after all. "Silence !" he barked. He had noticed where the remarks had come from. A group of seventh-year male students sporting red and gold colors. "Fifty points from Gryffindor !" he snarled at the group. "Next time you'll pay more attention instead of lusting in your hearts !"

Alastor Moody said nothing. His magical eye had focused on the five students and he smirked too. He would not come to their rescue. _Serves them right !_

The Slytherins just stifled their joy at hearing this. Lorena was not that popular among the Slytherins. However some of them really appreciated the situation as thanks to her, the rival House had just lost a good deal of points. All in all, even some of Pansy's friends just felt good that Gryffindor lost points thanks to Lorena, be she a 'blind, filthy Mudblood'.

Lorena shook the cobwebs out of her mind. She said nothing, happy that Severus had taken the stand for her. However, once he was done with the disrespectful students, he took the young woman by the collar of her school robe in a rather brutal fashion to send her back to the fight no matter what. She stuffed the coming shriek into her throat. Through the very brief contact, she could feel his disappointment. In return, he also felt she was angry against Pansy Parkinson. _And no, don't you dare use the _Sectumsempra_ either against her !_ she could hear in her mind during their very brief physical contact. _We don't want any accident here._

She took her bearings to make sure she was in the right direction, her extra sensorial perception in full swing. She could feel Parkinson's satisfaction and hate. Her friends were sneering heartily. But contrary to the Gryffindors, they were more discreet.

She did not leave him time to rejoice further more. She quickly cast her spell. "_Expelliarmus_ !"

The powerful jet of scarlet light hit Parkinson full force. She found herself thrown to the ground, her wand out of reach. Quickly, Lorena threw her left hand forward and Pansy's wand gracefully landed in her hand.

Severus pressed his lips tight. _I had said no psychokinetics ! Damn stubborn woman !_ Then it came to his mind that she might have cast an attraction spell silently. Which would make her far advanced compared to the other sixth-years.

Lorena stood in the middle of the catwalk. "Are you looking for this, Pansy ?" she said gently with a smirk in her direction, her wand in her hand. Everybody laughed, including the Gryffindors. Making fun of Parkinson was too good an opportunity to miss, and worth losing a few extra House points in the way – if any. Moody had still a smirk on his lips, this time for another reason. The blind girl was powerful indeed.

"_Obscuro_ !" Lorena went on, her wand in her direction. Suddenly, a blindfold wrapped itself around Pansy's eyes. A general whisper of surprise rose from the students. "I guess that makes us pretty even now, Pansy. Don't you think ?"

Severus said nothing, he just smirked. And so did Moody. The Potions Master did not even dock points from the mocking Gryffindors. He had loved the way Lorena had made Pansy Parkinson a bit ridiculous in front of everybody. He could not blame her either – despite his admonitions, the girl still treated Lorena like a nobody, just because of the stupid prejudices preciously entertained in most pure-blood families.

Before she could get up, Pansy called back her wand. "_Accio_ wand !" It flew from Lorena's hand, whose palm was wide open, as if she was expecting her spell. Once the wand reached her hand, she cast another charm. "_Formicasortia_ !" she yelled with a swift horizontal gesture.

Pansy was angry, aware she had made himself ridiculous because of a blind girl, and moreover a Muggle-born. Still blindfolded, she had cast her spell with such violence that the outcome was a bit unexpected. A giant ant of about two yard long had been conjured up – to her great surprise and then satisfaction once she had removed the fold – and to the horror of the rest of the students. Some of them backed off, shrieking out of fright. They had never seen something like this and so close, not even with Hagrid.

Complete silence fell in the room, which informed Lorena something was wrong. From the name of the spell, the creature was an ant. Yet, her extra sensorial perception formed the image of a big red creature full of venom and aggressivity. _Danger_.

"Alright, Miss Nottingham, I'll get rid of it for you," a deep voice said behind her.

Lorena did not want to embarrass Professor Snape as her teacher. But she did want to warn Severus, the man she loved. She sent a powerful surge of love mixed with anxiety to him. He froze in his tracks, surprised by the feeling he had just received from her. _No, Severus. Don't approach it. Danger. Let me handle it. Please, _he could read in her mind, using his contact telepathy when his hand touched her arm to move away.

Silence was now palpable in the classroom. The students around the catwalk and close to the ant, had stepped back to a safe distance. Lorena walked with caution towards the ant. The giant ant was getting still too close to the few students around, its teeth or whatever making weird, frightening noises. The young woman perceived terror around her. Not her terror but that of the other young people present.

She remembered when she was a child, she could manage to drive off spiders, ants and other nuisances out of her grandmother's house – to the old lady's satisfaction. She began to rasp and hiss in an unknown language. _"Leave them alone. Don't do anything to them. Come to me instead."_

The ant did not seem to have heard. Lorena intensified her raspy, throaty, hissing sounds, getting closer to the creature. _"Leave them alone. Don't do anything to them. Come to me instead."_

From behind, Severus had a bad feeling. He knew he had already heard this language before more or less. It reminded him strangely of Parseltongue but he hoped that this was not the case. His hopes were to be quickly disappointed. He was no Parselmouth himself but associating with the Dark Lord for a number of years had trained his ears enough to recognize the language. It was a very close form of Parseltongue indeed. He exchanged a quick glance with Moody that was puzzled too.

"_Leave them alone. Don't do anything to them. Come to me instead."_ She summoned all her elemental magic to persuade the creature's mind.

Eventually, the ant turned towards her, as if it had noticed her or just heard her at last, to the great relief of the students around. The ant marched suddenly towards Lorena in a quick stride. Seeing this, Severus wanted to protect her but the young woman was between him and the creature. At the same time, she cast a spell to destroy the creature.

"_AVADA KEDAVRA_ !" she screamed.

The ant was killed instantly. Wandlessly. Only through the power of her words and mind.

The room fell in a deathly quiet. A pin could have been heard dropping.

Lorena became suddenly conscious of what she had done. Her wand, still in her hand dangling on her side, escaped her grip and fell to the ground, when she realized that she had used one of the three Unforgivables. Wandlessly.

"What have you been playing at ?" one of the Ravenclaw students close to her asked her with a shaking voice. This seemed to give back the other students their ability to talk. "Parselmouth ! Parselmouth ! Parselmouth !" she could hear in the crowd.

_Severus !_ she called him anxiously through their bond. _What have I done ? _She understood her classmate's question but found herself unable to reply. Was it about the Killing Curse ? Or the fact she had used an altered form of… Parseltongue ? The creature language ? Parseltongue was associated with the Dark Arts in many students' minds. But she had learned it from her grandma, her grandma did not use Dark magic…

The Potions Master felt her despair. He quickly glanced at Alastor Moody who reacted a second later with all the authority of a law enforcement officer. "Class ! Dismissed ! Go back to your respective common rooms and stay there until further notice ! Now !" the former Auror ordered. The students, shocked from what they had seen, did not ask for more and quickly left the room in complete silence.

Severus looked at the young woman who had become his promised, as if she was a complete stranger. For sure, a whole aspect of hers had just been revealed to himself.

* * *

Lorena remained motionless on the catwalk, her empty pale gray eyes staring in the void. Once all the students were out with Moody, Severus locked the room and placed a silencing charm on it so that nobody could enter or hear what they may say. He took her wand from the ground and tugged her gently by the arm to get her out of the catwalk but she resisted him, remaining motionless, her gaze lost. He changed tactics and took her in his arms.

They would have little time. The anti-Dark Arts wards must have had gone off in the castle when she had cast the _Avada Kedavra_.

"Lorena, Dumbledore or McGonagall will be here in a minute or two. Talk to me ! Tell me what happened, how come you cast the Killing Curse... that way." His voice was as soothing as possible, so smooth, so silky.

But the young woman remained silent. Motionless between his arms. He kissed her gently on the forehead. No reaction. Not even her arms around him. Severus was left with very few options. "_Legilimens_…" he whispered to enter her mind.

She opposed no resistance. He read her fear for him and the other students. He saw she did not let fear overcome her. The reasoning process had lasted a few seconds only and her decision had been made to cast the Killing Curse on the creature. He also felt pain. The _Avada Kedavra_ had allowed her to take a life. This was in complete contradiction with her elemental magic. That had left her lifeless as she had just discovered that.

Yet, the worst thing he had found in her mind was that anxiety. Not only she had used her elemental magic to kill a living being, but she had done so without using her wand, just uttering the deadly words. It reminded him when he had brutalized her a few days earlier, as if he had used the Cruciatus Curse on her in a similar fashion – wandlessly and non-verbally. He understood her terror. He was probably the only person on earth to be able to understand her.

Worst of all, in their both cases, the _intention_ had been behind. The real deal.

Severus gently pulled out of her mind when he heard the door giving in to Albus Dumbledore.

"Lorena… talk to me…" Severus turned his head to the Headmaster. The old man was alone.

"What happened, Severus ? The anti-Dark Arts alarms went off."

The Potions Master hugged Lorena even more closely to him, in a protective gesture. "Just a demonstration that went a little out of hand, Headmaster. Nothing more."

The look in Albus Dumbledore's eyes showed he did not buy it. "To the point of triggering off the Dark magic alarms in the castle ?" Neither did his voice.

"We were training in duel. Pansy Parkinson conjured up a giant ant. I wanted to destroy it but Miss Nottingham informed me that the creature was dangerous. She wanted to avoid me the danger and she cast the Killing Curse on it."

Something in Severus screamed at him that he'd better say nothing about the way she had cast the curse. Though he was aware that he had had a whole classroom of students witness to what had really happened. Plus Alastor Moody. The story would be discussed hard and he was even pretty sure that it was already talked about hotly in each House common room now. Albus or Minerva would have known one day or so that the curse had been cast wandlessly. _Better spill it now._

"Where are the students ?" Dumbledore asked.

"Moody dismissed the class and send them back to their common rooms until further notice. They were shocked and afraid I think. We'll need to explain to them later what happened, with a suitable explanation."

Albus was looking at them in a strange way that made Severus raise his mental shields. Then he realized that the old man was not searching in his mind but in Lorena's. Severus tried to protect her through their bond but he could not prevent Dumbledore from using Legilimency on her.

"She talked to the creature in Parseltongue, didn't she, Severus ?"

"Yes, Headmaster."

"And she cast the Killing Curse… using her elemental magic… wandlessly, didn't she ?

Severus took a deep breath. "Yes, Headmaster."

Albus was close enough to them to exchange a gaze full of compassion with his Potions Master. "Alastor did well when he sent back the students. You're right, Severus, we'll explain all this to them later today… once we have understood the chain of events." He sighed. "We have to exert all the caution possible. Because we have just witnessed the effects of the ritual you both performed last month. Her magic has dramatically expanded and in ways I had not expected."

"You mean in ways that may interest the Dark Lord ?"

Albus nodded. "Exactly. Knowing that some of our students have families in relation with Voldemort, we have to come up with something convincing enough that should not attract his attention on her for the time being."

Both men exchanged a silent gaze of understanding.

"I suppose this was your last class to the both of you for today ?"

"Yes, Headmaster."

"Bring her to the Hospital Wing and have a talk with her, Severus. You're the only one that can do something for her. You're the Dark Arts expert and she is anguished. Given your close relationship together, you're the only person that can reassure her. Don't worry if you both miss dinner. I'll speak to the student body tonight about this incident then. I'll talk with Alastor too, he has to know, not all the details but he may not suspect the extent of Lorena's powers. I've read enough in her mind to come up with something sound. Everything has to come back to normal for everyone, the students, you and her. I'll speak to Minerva too, she must have heard the anti-Dark Arts wards go off."

"Thank you, Headmaster. I will take care of Miss Nottingham."

Dumbledore glanced at the giant ant still on the catwalk. He could see that the beast had been killed neatly without leaving any traces of a fight or whatever. A real _Avada Kedavra_ killing. He nodded in deep thinking. He drew his wand from his sleeve. "_Formica Evanesco_ !" The ant disappeared in sparks. Then he left the room.

"Come, Lorena." The young woman was like petrified. So Severus did the only thing that he thought it would and should work. He kissed her mouth very tenderly. But her lips remained motionless under his, as if she had been kissed from behind a glass. Her lack of reaction scared him, driving him to a high level of anxiety.

Severus put on his school robe, checked he had both his and Lorena's wands with him, before scooping her up in a cradle carry. They left the classroom using the Floo network in the castle, bound for the infirmary. He wanted to make sure that the baby she carried had not been affected by her unexpected display of Dark magic and her earlier fall. Though he suspected that the child would hang on, given it had already resisted the abortive potion. And his raping her.

* * *

**_Alright, I've been inspired by the dueling class in the _Chamber of Secrets _(book and movie alike) - one of my favorite scenes in the HP series. Save that I made a few changes to accommodate my storyline here. _You wish ! _I like to put a few lines from the movie characters every now and then. And honestly, Alastor Moody is way far better than that poor excuse of a wizard named Gilderoy Lockhart..._**

**_Now, pay attention, dear readers. Beyond the funny stuff, that scene is really important as it will trigger off a whole series of events to take place in the future chapters. Stay tuned and you'll understand why. It's in relation with Lorena being a Parselmouth._**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! _**


	43. Completely, absolutely, unconditionally

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**4****3 – Completely, absolutely, unconditionally**

Poppy Pomfrey had Lorena laid on the examination bed in her infirmary. Severus explained to her briefly the bout of Dark magic the young woman had used a few minutes earlier. He described how she had cast the _Avada Kedavra_ spell, wandlessly, only with the force of her voice, just to kill the creature. And her complete lack of reaction to his words. She had left to some unknown world. Her empty eyes were even emptier than ever, casting right ahead of her an eerie stare that was downright frightening.

"You're wondering about the child, Severus ?"

"Yes. I don't want any side-effects on it. But foremost, her… absence… she would not even react when I took her in my arms."

"OK, first the baby and then we'll see what's going on about her. She's in shock obviously."

The medi-witch glanced at him for a second. _Has he grown to care for her after all ?_ He looked very protective of the girl indeed. She examined Lorena, passing her medical wand over the belly of the girl. "No, everything's fine, Severus. She's fine and the baby too." She paused. "By the way, do you wish to know if it's a boy or a girl ?"

"So early ?" he enquired.

"There's a special spell for that which can detect the gender as early as one month. I may tell you if you wish. The both of you, of course. If one doesn't, I won't do it."

Severus looked at Lorena. She still had her pale gray eyes staring at the ceiling, emptier than ever. "I don't think we're going to do it now, Poppy. Thank you anyway."

"Let's see her condition. She looks like she shunted herself from the world."

Severus said nothing. She was indeed and he let Poppy pass her medi-wand over the head of the young woman.

"Well, I guess that killing is not exactly what she expected to do in class, Severus. Here you have a young woman, bearing a new life, with very strong healing skills, whose magic is based on life, and you wonder why she's like that ? She's in complete state of shock. I'll give her something to relax. Has she reacted to anything before you brought her here ?"

"No… nothing… not even when I… I kissed her," he said softly.

"Mmmm… I suggest you stay with her, go on as such with her and behave nicely. Very nicely."

The Potions Master made a face. "I'm not a nice man, Poppy, and you know it."

"Well, I guess that's the time or never to start being so, Severus," the medi-witch replied with a sarcastic tone.

He let the sarcasm slid on him. "Do you think she can still attend the D.A.D.A class anyway ?"

"You mean in her pregnant condition ?" He nodded. "Of course, she can ! She's not fragile, on the contrary. She managed to bring you back from the dead, don't forget it. And she was already pregnant at that time. No, I think she's more in shock because killing is contrary to her magic." She paused, time for her to read her readings from her wand. "Her magic must be pretty powerful to put her in such a state. But I'm confident it won't last though. She'll come back but it will take a bit of time, a few hours."

She gave Lorena a very mild calming draught. The glaze in the young woman's eyes seemed to fade away for a few seconds and she closed her eyes halfway slowly. Poppy carried her with a levitating charm to a bed in a corner of the hospital dorm where there was nobody. "You may stay here with her, Severus. I really mean it, comfort her, soothe her, be gentle, it'll help her overcome. Speak with her too, even if she's half asleep. The draught is not enough powerful to make her sleep though, she may just doze off a little bit. I'll cast a silencing charm around the bed." She let them alone after drawing the curtains close.

So there he was. Sitting on her bed, her hand in his. Her eyes were more or less closing but she could not sleep. Her gaze had a somewhat disquieting look. She looked glazed, weary and sad. He brought her hand to his lips for a kiss. She just remained motionless, her face completely unreadable.

Severus opted for a different tactic. He would have used Legilimency on her – he mastered it. But he was worried that the intrusion might upset her even more by frightening her. Looking at her hand in his, he decided to use the ability she had herself – and that have been transferred to him during the virginity ritual. Contact telepathy. It was worth trying after all.

Contact telepathy, from the feel of it Severus had already had, was more gentle and would suit more her nature. He squeezed her left hand a bit more in his. His eyes fell on the Love-Snakes ring. Moved by an intuition, he kissed the ring, using it as a portal into her, focusing his mind on her, calling her gently, trying to feel her emotions – or lack of.

Severus remembered that she used to send love waves to him. _I can't. I don't love her. I'm unable to do such a thing. I'm no lover. I'm no empath. I'm a murderer, not a healer._ But… Suddenly, he remembered the love they had made in the cave. Their kisses. The caresses they exchanged. The Unbreakable Vow. He could hear in his mind their moans, groans and grunts of pleasure, when he was deeply buried in her, when his hands roamed over her body, when her mouth was tracing trails of fire on his skin. The ecstasy he had felt when deflowering her, his thick cock going to-and-fro between her tight, hot, wet walls... How much he would give to feel this again.

Severus shivered – but he could not have told whether this was due to the memories or to something passing now between them. He felt a tickle under his garments, where his own ring was in contact with his chest. He kept focusing on her, thinking about all these sweet memories. He may not be able to send her love waves but maybe desire, longing, need, want, lust would be powerful enough to shake her and bring her back to him.

"Severus…" he could hear faintly in the distance. His dark eyes opened and met her pale gray gaze, full of tears. "Severus…" She was weeping silently. Somehow, it had worked. His lust had brought her back.

That was too much for him. He leaned over her and grabbed her against him. "Oh, Lorena !" he said softly. His mouth met hers in a sensual kiss, devouring her face with a burning passion. She moaned under the kiss, the kind of moan that turned him on. He felt hard in his pants. Her free arm found his body, his chest, his shoulder, his neck. She squeezed his hand in hers in return, intensifying the bond between them, returning his feelings and emotions. This time, she sent him back waves of need, want, desire and lust. It felt so good to send for her and to receive for him. He moaned slightly in the kiss.

"Oh, Lorena, you scared me !" he said once they had broken the kiss.

Her blind gaze was still empty but that was her normal empty gaze, no longer that awful empty mad stare she had had a few minutes ago. She was crying too. The expression on her face was that of a person overwhelmed by a painful anguish. Her free hand reached his arm, his shoulder, his neck. Her mouth opened a bit, her breathing was shallow and she sobbed eventually.

Severus took her in his arms, hugging her closer. "Let it go, just let it go…" His deep voice was as soothing as possible.

She grabbed him as if she never wanted him to leave her, imploring him in weak whimpers. He rubbed her back, trying to calm down the anxiety outburst he could feel, sending her all the peace and serenity he could conjure up in himself, cradling her to comfort her in a soothing embrace.

He looked at her face. She had the same painful expression as when she was playing the '_Adagio for Strings_', the same pain rushing over her soul. He caressed her face, her hair, to calm her down. She looked as if she had been excruciated – and Severus had seen it enough with the Cruciatus Curse to recognize it.

"How I hate that, seeing you suffering like that…" he whispered with his deep, silky voice. He sighed, while keeping on caressing her face and hair, arranging her curly raven locks. It came to his mind that their child would surely have dark hair too, as they both had.

He felt her hand on his cheek too, while her other hand was still holding his in a powerful grip. Her hand on his face was caressing him gently, in slight touches, as if she tried to recognize each of his features. When her fingers touched his mouth, he caught one of them with his lips and rolled his tongue around it, as if he was tasting a sweet or a cake. He closed his eyes, moaning in pleasure.

Lorena felt his pleasure and it calmed her down somehow. He was her professor, her 'almost lover', the man she loved. "Severus ?"

He stopped licking her finger. "Yes, Lorena ?"

It took her a few second before voicing her concern. "What happened… to me ?"

"You mean… with the curse ?"

She nodded.

"We suppose that the Killing Curse must have entered in complete conflict with your elemental magic, hence your state of shock. You must have shunt yourself to protect your soul. Most likely."

"My soul ?"

"Yes. Killing… rips the soul apart."

She could feel all his pain, how much his own soul had been ripped apart already. She had been deep down his soul enough to see the horrors he had been sometimes compelled to witness and commit. Torture, rape, murder. She remembered when he had made her suffer with a form of Cruciatus, when he had taken her against her will. He must have – no, he had already – tortured, raped and killed. She remembered his murderous glare in class when she could still see. Yes, his soul had been more than ripped apart. It had been shredded to ribbons.

But how much she still loved him though… She squeezed his hand in hers. "You mean… killing another human being. But it was just only a… an animal there."

"True. However, your elemental magic doesn't see it that way, apparently. The price to pay for each murder is high... for a murderer. Even a murderer like me. For someone like you, it's even higher."

"Why ? I don't follow you…"

"Lorena… you're not a murderer. You're more than a healer. You're… you're an empath. Your elemental magic allows you to turn death into a fighting chance for life." Dumbledore's words had just come back to his mind.

Silence fell between them, time for her to understand what he had just told her. "And the… the baby ? What about the baby ?" she asked eventually.

"It's fine, don't worry."

Severus could read on her face that she tried hard to process the information he had just given her. She had stopped weeping and that was a good sign, besides her efforts to give sense to his words.

"Lorena, you're an empath. Not a killer. You're not… your magic has not been made for that obviously."

"I just wanted to protect you, Severus… I had felt danger."

"I know." He sighed. "You see, some people, Muggle and magical alike, are deeply shocked when they happen to kill something living, even by accident. No wonder someone like you, so sensitive, so empathic, had felt the same to a higher degree. There's nothing weird about this."

"There's something else, Severus…"

The Potions Master gathered at once what she meant.

"I cast the curse… without my wand. I killed… with my words only !"

"About that display of magic, don't ask me. I just… I just don't understand that part either." That was not entirely true. He knew that powerful wizards and witches could cast curses wandlessly. But the Unforgivables required a wand. This was a part he could relate to his own experience though. He had Cruciated her unwillingly, wandlessly, non-verbally. She had killed using the _Avada Kedavra_ without her wand.

Only something they had experienced in common may have produced that on them. Dumbledore was right : the virginity ritual must have given them the power to do that.

He kissed her forehead. "Shhhh… it was just a big nasty ant." Severus regretted not to have made the thing disappear more quickly. All this would have been avoided.

She could feel he was sincere. She remembered what he had told her once, that he did not know much about elemental magic. She also felt his guilt. She caressed his lank raven hair.

"Lorena… there's something else I want to talk to you about," he said while caressing her face gently. "You never told me that you're a Parselmouth, that you can speak Parseltongue."

"Parselmouth ? Parseltongue ?"

For a second or two, Severus wondered if she was not playing it dumb. Being a Muggle-born more or less could explain her ignorance. However, being a very gifted witch, in sixth-year, made the claim rather weird. "You must have heard of it, Lorena. You belong to the House of Salazar Slytherin and he was a Parselmouth himself ! What about your History of Magic classes ? Already all forgotten ?"

She turned her head away from him, as if she did not wish to speak to him. He was used to her particular body language. He brought her face towards him between his strong hands. "Reply to me honestly !" His voice held more authority. "Let me refresh your memory : that's the ability to speak with snakes. Any explanation ?"

She swallowed. "I can speak to creatures like ants, spiders, cockroaches… and snakes too, yes indeed. I used to make them creatures go away from our home when I was living with my grandmother. I just told them to live elsewhere and they left the house. My grandmother did not care, she found this funny, she was a practical mind, you know. It seemed normal to her."

Severus narrowed his gaze on her. He followed a strong intuition. "She taught you, didn't she ?"

Lorena nodded. "Yes… Besides teaching me how to prepare infusions and balms, to recognize and pick up herbs and flowers, yes, she taught me that too."

Severus wondered if that knowledge had influence her being a top student in Potions and Herbology. _Surely._

"Was she your mother's mother or your father's mother ?"

"My father's mother. I don't know my relatives on my mother's side. They… considered that my mother had made a mistake by marrying my father. They never forgave her, I think."

Severus pondered about this. The young woman could not be considered as a Muggle-born. Definitively. Her grandmother might not have been a witch but she was not a Muggle either. A quarter-blood ? Though he hated these divisions that led to prejudices. He had paid the high price long ago, with Lily. He thought about that remote ancestor of hers, that witch, whose body had birthed the infamous Sheriff of Nottingham – whose descendant was sitting in front of him now. Whose descendant carried his own child. _What a mix_, he thought. _Her lineage may not be pureblood, but it is as ancient as some of the most famous pureblood families out there – if all this is true._

"That's why you could understand the needs of the Love-Snakes."

Lorena swallowed hard. "Yes… I could hear them crying out loud how hungry for love they were. It almost wrenched my heart then. But I know that they are safe now."

"You mentioned that you can speak not only to snakes but also to other creatures."

She chuckled. "Yes. Among them, cockroaches. They're the most difficult creatures ever to get rid of. They can be a very stubborn lot."

Lorena was silent but Severus knew her mind was racing fast. She remembered when she had saved him during Summer, using her empathy, tapping in her elemental magic. "How can I be that and… speak a language associated with Dark magic ? With evil ?"

"What do you mean ?"

"I remember now... that Parseltongue is linked to the Dark Arts. I was speaking it well before I learned about _that_, about how it is called. Even before I learned I was a witch and came to Hogwarts. I heard Draco Malfoy talking about it one day in our common room, when we were in first year. I was not part of his conversation but… I heard him then."

He chuckled. He could imagine the scene.

"We're not sure about this connection actually," he said. "I believed it but… when I heard you speak it today, I'm so sure any longer. In your case, I'd rather explain it because of your particular relationship with every thing alive around you, as you explained to me in the cave, remember ?"

"Yes. My elemental magic."

"Indeed. Parselmouths were associated to evil because of the Dark Lord. He's a Parselmouth too and many people have therefore associated Parseltongue with evil. That's all. Otherwise, Salazar Slytherin was a Parselmouth too. That doesn't make the founder of our House a Dark wizard. The students were afraid of the creature, and some of them, when they heard you speak Parseltongue, were even more afraid. Besides, your using the _Avada Kedavra_ so efficiently had downright scared them."

"Well, I didn't know much about history and Salazar Slytherin himself when I heard Draco talk about it then. We were in first year. I didn't believe it myself that… that the language I used to get rid of these little insects was called Parseltongue. I thought it was something specifically for snakes only. I didn't pay real attention then because I could speak with other creatures. But the way Draco talked about it… about the Dark Arts and all, I preferred to say nothing about it. I was… scared."

"That's how we never heard about it either, that you're a Parselmouth."

"No… but I felt so much fear this afternoon that… I could not let it end like this. I had to do something, the creature was really dangerous."

"I understand."

She lowered her gaze. "I'm afraid, Severus. Scared that I can…" The words were difficult to get out of her throat. "I've just realized why the Dark Lord may be interested in me. Because all of _this_."

Severus did not wish to make her more afraid than she was already. But she was right. He took her in his arms, worried that she fell back again in her previous state of shock. He could feel her anxiety flowing into his mind like an undisciplined river threatening to break its levees.

"Do you think I could… fall on the Dark Lord's side ?" Her voice was hoarse.

"No. It's a matter of choice purely and only that. Becoming a Death-Eater requires your consent. Nobody forces you to take the Dark Mark. I won't let that happen either. Don't be afraid. You're safe here. You're safe with me."

She began to tremble and he looked at her. Her eyes were glazing again, emptying themselves of life like she had been before. "Lorena ! Come back to me !"

She seemed to make a tremendous effort to cling to reality. "Severus…" She clang to his robes desperately. "Take me in your arms, Severus… Please…"

The Potions Master happily obliged. She hanged on to him as if her life depended on it.

"Poppy told me that I should do every thing in my power to comfort you, to soothe you. That I should be nice with you."

Lorena smirked. "But you're not a nice man, Severus. You keep telling me that."

"True. I'm just a man hungry for you. Lusting after you. Desiring you like I've never desired a woman before. I…" The words remained stuck in his throat. He could not tell them. He would not as it would amount as a lie for him. The little soul he had left wanted to be honest with her, of all people on earth.

He felt her hand on his cheek. _I love you, Severus. Always._ She sighed with contentment. "Maybe you're hungry, Severus ? Or the others may wonder where you are ?" she asked after a few minutes.

"No, I'm not that hungry. Except hungry for you. As for the others, who cares ?"

She giggled. "I do care for your reputation." She caressed his hair and his cheek, his head resting on her chest. "It's so good to have you like this, Severus," she added more seriously.

"Lorena, Poppy Pomfrey knows the spell that tells whether it's a boy or a girl. She suggested she could run it over you, that is, if you want to."

"So early ?"

"Yes. That had been my exact reaction too. I said I didn't mind but it's up to you."

She fell silent. He could feel how unsure she was now. "I don't know actually. It's so new to me. Severus… I'm afraid to be a mother. I'm blind… I don't know how to do, what to do… Maybe if I don't know yet… it would be as if… as if it's not real, too real… yet…" Her voice trailed off.

He followed her train of thoughts – though without using Legilimency. "You hoped to lose it."

She thought about his last words. "Yes. But at the same time… it's your baby, a love child, and I…" _I love you._

"But at the same time, you'd like to get rid of it and I'm the only person you can tell such a thing."

She hugged him closer. "Yes," she admitted.

"I'm sorry, Lorena, but I'm afraid that it'll hang on. It resisted the 'Draught Against Unwanted Tomorrows' and it's been conceived during an elemental magic ritual on a magical date. The odds are pretty much against you."

"Yes, you're right, Severus. Thank you for your understanding anyway." She sighed deeply.

"You should try to sleep a bit."

"I'm not tired. I just want to be in your arms, to hold you, to feel you."

He could still feel her anxiety. He hugged her closer, trying to comfort her with his warmth, his presence, his body in contact with hers. They remain silent for a long moment, just appreciating their mutual presence.

Severus felt she sagged between his arms. He looked at her and saw she had fallen asleep. A normal, restoring, quiet sleep. He smiled at her, in an almost tender fashion. "You need rest, Lorena," he said softly, before kissing her lips. He rearranged her hair, her pillows, before spreading over her body the blanket folded at the bed end. She looked peaceful now.

_How much I'd like to take you away to my quarters now. How much I'd like to make you mine now. How much I'd like to spend the whole night, till dawn… __making love to you._

Severus had a hard time leaving her. He decided to spend a bit more time with her. He took the chair and dragged it besides the bed silently. He sat there and took her left hand in his. He caressed the Love-Snakes ring on her finger, deeply lost in his thoughts.

He had not noticed that he had fallen asleep, his head resting on her side, her hand still in his, until Ms Pomfrey came to check on the young woman. She woke him up, surprised that he had stayed there so late just to be with her. _Has he become nice after all ? _The medi-witch had been touched to seen how he had just spent the whole evening with the young woman, holding her hand like that. He looked relaxed, almost happy in her company.

* * *

Lorena spent the night in the Hospital Wing. Severus left the place after Ms Pomfrey sent him back to his quarters for more rest. Despite the medi-witch's advice, he went directly out for his rounds in the castle, wand at the ready.

While walking alone in the corridors, he kept thinking about the young woman. He had to admit that he loved her temper. He loved the sex they had had together back in the cave. He loved the trust she had in him. He loved her insecure feelings, echoing his own sometimes. He loved her powerful abilities. He loved her wit and humor.

_Do I love her ?_

She loved him – completely, absolutely, unconditionally. He had no doubt on that, that was so obvious. If he had felt uncomfortable with this at the beginning, he had to reckon this was delicious. To be loved. To be accepted as he was. No further questions asked. To be taken wholly – physically and emotionally. Her hands on his body. His maleness into her womanhood. Full, to the hilt. The only thought of it began to make him harder and he walked quickly so that the sensation left him. He could not chastise wandering students decently with a hard-on, even with his robes on to hide.

_How she can make me __be like that ? What has she done to me ?_

Severus had known women before. None of them had had the power to arouse him on a simple thought like Lorena did. Or at the sight of her half naked legs. Now, he wanted to go back to the Hospital Wing, snatch her from there and shag her senseless in his own bed till dawn.

Severus tried not to think about her. But the sight of her body writhing with the pleasure received from him kept coming back to his mind. She accepted him so much, as a whole, as he was. When he was not brutalizing her of course. But even during this time, he had felt that she still loved him unconditionally, even if she had begged him to stop. He had been so consumed with desire and lust that he had taken her no matter what, for his own selfish pleasure.

However, he could not reply to her love. He did not know what to do with such a powerful feeling. But he craved for her presence, her tenderness, the care and attention she had given him this Summer and that he had almost always lacked since he was a child. In a sense, she was stronger than him, with the unconditional love she gave him profusely.

_Do I love her ?_ She was deep under his skin now, as deep as the Dark Mark was. Maybe even more. He felt the small tickle on his chest, where the Love-Snakes ring was resting on its chain. He rubbed it through his garments, gently. The tickle grew stronger and he felt it in his soul, like a soaring feeling of contentment. A tiny smile curled his lips. Fortunately, he was alone in this corridor.

Suddenly, he missed her. She could suffer from her unrequited love but on the contrary, Lorena seemed to live with it as if it was natural for her to give so much without receiving nothing. Probably because she had so much to give. Maybe because it was linked to her empathic nature. Surely because he was not used to receive so much love from one person in his whole life.

* * *

**_Now, dear readers, this is an important chapter. We discover that Lorena is a Parselmouth. This will trigger the whole series of events to follow. I let you imagine the consequences for her to be a Parselmouth. More details in the future chapters - stay tuned !_**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	44. Stepping on roses sometimes

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**44**** – Stepping on roses sometimes**

On the day after, Severus went to see Albus Dumbledore for more explanations about the events of the day before. The Headmaster was happy to see him so that they could discuss about the various implications of these events.

Dumbledore told Severus what he had told the student body at dinner on the day before, careful in the details he presented. That Lorena Nottingham was exhibiting a particular brand of magic that allowed her to cast spells wandlessly, that she had acted only with the safety of the people present in mind as the giant ant conjured up was dangerous, that she was indeed a Parselmouth but in a very different way than what was usually seen as Dark magic, that the D.A.D.A. courses were full of unexpected experiences, like in any other fields of human knowledge, and that they should be accepted and enjoyed as such.

"I tried to show all of them students that she behaved in a responsible, mature manner, thinking only about the safety of others. Though blind, she's a powerful witch and she should not be challenged stupidly. I hope you'll impress this in Miss Parkinson's mind."

"I'll have a talk with Miss Parkinson indeed. I'm fed up with these stories of pure-blood prejudice by the way."

"I can imagine, you being a half-blood yourself." He sighed. "The House of Slytherin is full of these prejudices, Severus. It would be good to remind your students that Hogwarts do not sanction these. Miss Nottingham is a Muggle-born officially, that makes her being despised by most of her house. She's a Slytherin, that makes her being looked down by most of the students of the other Houses. And I have to reckon that she's an intelligent young woman as she is the only Slytherin to have been able to build non-conflictual relationships with a few other students from the three other Houses."

"That's a feat indeed. I'd even say a miracle," the Potions Master said. "You may add that her particular magic is considered by most of the other Slytherins as primitive, regardless of its powerfulness. I'll see to it that this misconception is no longer put forward by her housemates."

"I think with the demonstration of yesterday, things should wind down in this regard. I believe that everybody in the upper forms will look at her now with awe. Being able to cast the _Avada Kedavra_ wandlessly at her age is not something many witches and wizards can do – not even among Voldemort's followers."

Severus scowled. "No, indeed." His tone was anxious.

"If my memory serves me well, I knew one student that was able to conjure up enough power to kill a big creature or a man – with his wand though – at the age of sixteen."

Both men exchanged a thoughtful glance. "The Dark Lord," Severus whispered.

"Indeed. Also known as Tom Marvolo Riddle at that time. He had killed three adult people in a few minutes."

"That brings me to talk to you about a concern of mine. I believe that the Dark Lord would be more than interested in that ability of hers. What happened yesterday will make its way into the Death-Eater families who have their kids here. Sooner or later, the Dark Lord will know about it."

Albus understood the Potions Master's concern under the statement. "He will ask you about it. I think you should reply to him in the lines I addressed the students yesterday." Saying so, the Headmaster put his wand on his temple, then moved it apart. A thin thread of silver got out of his head he let fall into the Pensieve nearby. "Look at that memory, it's really fresh, and see what you can tell to Voldemort. But I think it should do the trick. It's the truth after all."

"You think I should tell the truth to the Dark Lord about all this ?"

Albus watched his Potions Master carefully. "Yes. You'll have to tell him as he believes you to be so well informed. Keeping your part as a spy for him is of the utmost importance for us. I thought about it all night long. Unless you have any objection, but before that, I think you should have a look at the Pensieve. It should suit Voldemort as well. I don't want to put you in danger because of something he'll learn eventually and not from you, while he thinks you know every thing that goes on here."

Severus nodded and he went to the Pensieve. He dived in it and soon he found himself in the Great Hall. Everybody was here at the staff table, except himself, and Lorena of course, among the students. There was a complete silence as the Headmaster explained the events of the day. Once he was finished, Severus went out of the Pensieve. "You're right, Albus, that should do the trick with the Dark Lord. I'll tell him that. I feel that he should summon me soon by the way."

"You feel so ?"

"Let's say a gut feeling." He paused, staring in the void. "Do you think that this new ability of hers may be in relation with the ritual ?"

"Pretty much possible indeed. Why do you ask ?"

Severus took a deep breath. "It happened to me too," he said in a barely audible whisper. "Though non verbally, and totally unwillingly, I think the same thing happened to me some time ago."

Albus frowned. "What do you mean ? You cast an Unforgivable Curse that way ?" The Headmaster wondered how come the Dark magic alarms had not come off then.

"Not exactly. The night I learned she was pregnant with my child. I was angry with her. Very angry and… I wanted to get the truth from her. I firmly believed then that the 'Draught Against Unwanted Tomorrows' had perfectly worked. I was persuaded that she had hidden the truth from me, that she was pregnant with someone else's child…"

"And you made her confess using…"

"… the _Cruciatus_." Severus cringed at the memory. "I didn't say it. It didn't even cross my mind. But I guess that seeing it cast at so many people, including me, to get the truth or any information, may have prompted it in my mind and my magic used that image - unwillingly. I brought Lorena to Poppy and… you know how perceptive Poppy is. She noticed that Lorena looked like she had received the _Cruciatus_. Then I realized what I had done. But only when Lorena cast the _Avada Kedavra_ wandlessly, I understood what had happened to me that night."

"Poppy did patch you up so many times that she could recognize the effects of the _Cruciatus_ miles away." He sighed. "Interesting. Looks like the ritual did impart you both with magical abilities you had not or too little before. The Unforgivable Curses require not only magic but _intention_ to be effective. And a wand of course to carry out the intention. That you both have been able to cast two of them wandlessly is indeed an important element in our analysis. Though Lorena had the intention while you did not. Hmmmm…" At this point, Dumbledore was not sure : Severus had had the intention, he had wanted to know the truth and to get it no matter what, from the girl.

"Albus… what have we done ?"

The old Headmaster looked at his Potions Master. "What do you mean, Severus ?"

"The ritual. I mean… we shouldn't have performed it. I should have just… taken her, in my bed at Spinner's End ! Without the ritual, she would not have gotten pregnant as the Draught would have worked. Without the ritual, our magic would not have become so… dangerous." He sighed.

"You wanted it together, Severus. Everything else is irrelevant."

"She had made me an offer that no Slytherin in his or her right mind could have refused. Her powers transferred to me… and mine to hers. She even said that… it would be useful to me and to you."

"Because you're my spy, Severus." Albus sighed. "I understand your reaction to you both. What is done, is done. We cannot go back in time. This is the hand we have been dealt with and we have to play with it. In my opinion, it's not so bad, you know."

Both men remain silent, pondering on these words. "This part… regarding that new ability of yours, Severus, must not reach Voldemort's ears. Not only it may be useful for you later on, but to say it more bluntly, Tom will put two and two together and draw his conclusion. You'd be killed at once."

"I'm aware of that. He doesn't take it too lightly when rivals show up."

"No, not exactly," Dumbledore chuckled. "Let him know only that the girl has special talent at spell casting."

"And what about her being a Parselmouth ?"

"She's special. He has to accept it as such." He paused. "That makes me think. I've always thought she was a Muggle-born but that story with her grandmother… that taught her Parseltongue. I'll make some research about the grandmother. Maybe they have something at the Ministry. Her surname's Nottingham but not her maiden name."

"She's Lorena's father's mother."

"For sure, that girl can no longer be considered as a Muggle-born. She's half-blood or in between the two. A quarter-blood ? I don't know how to call that. As per the Ministry classification, she should be a half-blood. That may explain certain things and help us with further elements. Pity that her grandmother is dead. I would have had a chat with her."

"The Dark Lord will have some interest in her if he learns that she's a Parselmouth. The only other person to be so is…"

"… himself." Albus looked suddenly worried. Even scared. Both men exchanged a glance. "I don't like it, Severus."

"I don't like it either, but if it can increase her chances of survival, I'll play that card."

"You may have no other choice then."

"You're right, Albus. I don't think it's that bad after all. I mean, it could have been worse. Lorena could have been already turned over by the Dark Lord for his own purposes."

"Yes, that's true. At least, we have not lost her. And from what I've seen, _you_ have even won her."

Albus watched his Potions Master carefully. The younger wizard blushed a bit, very quickly, before coming back to his usual unreadable face. Yet, just enough though for the Headmaster to notice it and smile.

* * *

Albus had told his Potions Master that he had talked about all this with Alastor Moody. Not only he was the other D.A.D.A. teacher, but he was an ex-Auror. He was also one of Albus' good friends and a member of the Order of the Phoenix. He was no-nonsensical too, with a practical approach to life and events. Like Albus, his experience of life had given him a certain philosophy that enabled him to consider things and people around with a sharp gaze.

The former Auror had gone to the Hospital Wing to check on Lorena. He found her still laying on her bed, her gaze lost in the void. However, she had heard him coming near, without knowing it was him. She was listening with attention. She heard someone dragging a chair nearby her bed and sitting.

"Who is it ?" she asked.

"Alastor Moody. The lower forms D.A.D.A. teacher."

"Oh, Professor… good morning…"

"I don't teach you, I believe you're in sixth year."

"Yes, I am, sir."

"How do you feel ?"

Lorena knew he was referring to the incident in class on the day before. "I'm fine, thank you."

He remained silent a few seconds, as if he was assessing her. He was actually. "Are you sure ?"

She sighed. "If you're alluding to my body, yes."

"Does that mean that your mind is less… fine, shall we say ?"

Lorena turned her head away. Alastor was not used to her body language. "Look at me, young lady !"

She sat on her bed suddenly. "I'm blind, Professor !" she replied coolly.

Alastor realized his mistake. "Sorry, Miss Nottingham. But yesterday… you didn't give me the impression that you were. Your attitude was remarkable – for a blind person."

Lorena relaxed. She could understand that her behavior made other people think she was not disabled. "If you're alluding to the Killing Curse… may I disagree with you, Professor."

Alastor took her hand in his. She was surprised. His hand was warm, deliciously warm. A firm yet soft grip. The grip of a man of action yet sensitive too, more than his gruff tone or appearance may suggest. Lorena thought he was not aware of her contact telepathy ability. She tried to remove her hand but he kept it firmly in his. She surrendered. So far so bad for him if she managed to know his thoughts and feelings.

Well, she did not know him. That would be a good opportunity to do so. As a good Slytherin, Lorena took the best of the situation presented to her. Her hand relaxed in his.

"Do you want to talk about it ?" he suggested softly.

Lorena probed his thoughts a bit before replying. She noticed that he was a trained Legilimens – hence his request she looked at him – and a very good Occlumens. As an Auror, that must have been a requirement. Or he was just gifted. Despite his rough behavior, he was genuinely gentle. That surprised her. He inspired trust.

"I don't know what to say about it. It's just…" She bit her lower lip.

Alastor was watching her. Her lips got redder. She was really pretty.

"It happens to everyone, you know, one day or so. Well, to quite a few people."

"What ? Killing ?"

"Not killing. But casting the Killing Curse. That's slightly different."

"I took a life."

"You protected others. The lives of your schoolmates."

She paused at his words, letting them sink. "When I was at home, at my grandmother's, I used to talk to spiders, ants, cockroaches and all this kind of creatures. I never killed them. I didn't need to do so. I just told them to leave and they left the place."

"Does that include… snakes as well ?"

"Yes. My grandmother taught me how not to fear them. That they were useful sometimes. They chase other creatures. Their venom is useful too. She taught me how to talk to all these creatures. She spoke to them as well."

"You mean… your grandmother was a Parselmouth ?"

"I explained to Professor Snape that I didn't even know that word." She sighed. "Well, I guess she was and I am too."

"Don't feel sorry about that ant. It was a big nasty ant and honestly, if you had not killed it, me or Snape would have gotten rid of it."

"I know. But all the same. I feel bad. My magic…" She got suddenly quiet. Did he know ? Did Dumbledore or Severus had talked to him about her particular brand of magic ?

"It doesn't depend on your magic, Miss Nottingham. It depends on your soul and what you have in it."

Puzzlement was written on Lorena's face. She was confused. "What do you mean ?"

"That's the intention that makes the difference. Magic is based on intention. That's even truer as far as the three Unforgivables are concerned, as they are the only three curses that require utmost _intention_ in order to be effective. You have to _mean_ it. Your intention is conditioned by what you have in your soul. What was your intention when you cast the _Avada Kedavra_ ?"

"To get rid of that ant to protect…" _Not the students. To protect the man I love._ "To protect the people around."

"And that makes the whole difference between you and a… Death-Eater, for example."

Hearing this, Lorena shivered. _Severus is a Death-Eater, he bears the Dark Mark. He must have… killed already. _Her heart sank. He had raped her already. He had tortured her somehow, he may have done it to other people before. He was a complete criminal. _But I still love him, unconditionally. No matter what he may have done in the past, what he has done to me, what he may have to do in the future. I still love him and I always will._

"Did you… use it already, Professor ?"

The ex-Auror looked at her. She had squeezed his hand in hers.

He nodded. "Yes. I already cast it. Several times. Actually, each and every time I could not do otherwise. Like it happens in self-defense, or to defend my colleagues or members of the public. As an Auror, that's something we are confronted to one day or so. That's why I came here and have a talk with you. Because in this damn castle, I'm probably the only person to know what it is all about." He paused. "Along with Severus Snape and Albus Dumbledore."

Lorena realized that Moody must have known things about the Potions Master's activities as a Death-Eater. It could not be otherwise. However, he comforted her in a different manner than Severus had. She had to reckon that both men's explanations, though different, complemented each other and were good to hear.

"I don't want to kill, Professor. My magic is… for healing. I wanted to be a Healer before becoming blind."

"Let me put it bluntly, young lady. Even Healers are confronted to this. Taking a life. We all happen to step on roses sometimes. Unwillingly. Never forget it."

Lorena nodded. "I understand and I will think about it. I need to think about it."

"Good." Alastor released her hand. She felt he was about to leave.

"Professor Moody !" she called.

"Yes ?"

"Please… could you do me a favor ?"

He sat on the bed, nearby her. "Go ahead."

She took a breath. "I'm blind. I remember all my teachers because they were here before I became blind. However, I don't know you. I'd like to… to feel you… I mean… to feel your face with my hands so that I could get a picture of you in my mind. If you agree."

She had expressed her request with a frail voice. "You may not like the picture, young lady," Moody replied flatly.

"What I like or not is irrelevant. I'm past this stage, Professor. I attach more importance to what lies under the surface. Besides, I like to know the surface all the same, not to judge it."

Her voice had something persuasive and sweet at the same time.

"Alright. But don't go around complaining ! You've been warned."

She smiled and sat closer to him. Her hands found his arms, went up his shoulders, his neck and then his face. They stroked his hair, followed his temples, his forehead, touched his scars there. Moody took her hand on the side where his magical eye was located. "Careful here… I have a magical eye…" Lorena felt the strap that supported it and avoided the eye.

Her fingers on his face were soft, light, delicate. She touched him and he felt it like a caress. Her hands went over his cheeks, his nose, his jaw line, to finish on his lips. Alastor felt very warm, very aroused at that moment. He imagined what it could be to have his own body caressed by her. He refrained painfully from kissing her fingers when they roamed over his mouth.

Lorena smiled at him. Despite his scars, he had a soft skin. "What is the color of your… natural eye ? And your hair ?"

"Ah, my hair, they are grizzly greyish, and my real eye is hazel. Not too much disappointed ?"

"Not at all. In fact, I imagined you a bit like that. A former Auror, a fighter in his own right, decided, with temper. And sweet at the same time. The lower forms are lucky to have you."

Alastor felt blushing at her unexpected statement. "Does that mean that you in upper forms are unlucky to have Professor Snape ?"

Lorena chuckled. "No, not at all. But I think the younger kids will be delighted to have someone like you, a fighter, a hero most likely, as their teacher. A blend of kindness and firmness."

"Yes, but not wrapped in one beautiful package, I'm afraid."

"As long as you remain impressive to them, that's okay, I guess. I'm joking but kids are no fools. They'll like you if you teach them good stuff and are fair with them." She paused, her hands still on his cheeks. "You know how to say things, you just proved it to me a few minutes ago. If you know how to find the right words, I promise you that people will forget how you look like. I don't even pay attention to that. But I needed to know as I haven't always been blind. I thank you for letting me do this, Professor. Thank you for your kind support."

Moody could not resist this time. He had wondered if the girl in front of him was not downright flirtatious with him. But no, she was past this. He let his hand caress her cheek too. She closed her eyes in appreciation, her lips parting a little. He had to summon all his will power not to take her in his arms and plunder her mouth with his.

Instead, he just kept on caressing her cheek. But when he felt that he was about to give in to his longing, he backed off gently. He also felt hard in his pants. Fortunately, he had his coat on, that would be okay to cover his bulge. _Ain't dead yet_, he thought. _I'm all the more alive. Lucky the man that will have her. How I envy the man that will be her first lover… How much I'd like to be that man…_

* * *

**Alastor Moody gets involved into the story. For his description, I used Brendan Gleeson's portrayal of him in the movies. Moody is one of the characters I DO NOT wish to see dead in the books - along with Fred Weasley and of course Severus Snape... More to come about him in future chapters, stay tuned !**

**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**


	45. Plans for Halloween

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**4****5 – Plans for Halloween**

October went pretty much uneventful, except for one Saturday evening when Severus was summoned by the Dark Lord. Fortunately for him, there was no torture involved this time. Voldemort just wanted to get more news about the girl to be snatched and brought to him at Halloween.

Severus played his part as a spy as usual – to perfection. Of course, the Dark Lord had heard about the stunt Lorena had pulled during the DADA class. Being the teacher in charge of the course and her Head of House, it would have been difficult to deny anything. Severus knew it and was prepared. He replied according to the plan he and Dumbledore had defined. Voldemort was satisfied and somewhat pleased with the prospect of getting his share of her powers pretty soon. Powers that promised to be formidable.

"You shall bring me the girl on Halloween night, Severus. I guess there will be the ball at Hogwarts for that occasion. That should give you plenty of opportunities to escape the place with her unnoticed."

"Yes, Master. Do you wish me to drug her ?" he asked flatly.

Voldemort seemed to ponder the Potions Master's suggestion. Drugging her would tame her. He did not wish to fight. Yet, a drug could tamper with the ritual.

"Why do you suggest that, Severus ?"

"Certain potions could make her more receptive to you, Master."

"Then prepare me a lust potion for me and a fertility potion for her. Her womb is the only thing that needs to be receptive to me, Severus." These last words sent ice in the Potions Master's veins. "You may stun her though, if that is easier for you when you bring her to me."

"I will prepare the potions as you ordered, Master."

"Good. Now, Severus, look at me."

Severus knew what it meant. His dark eyes met the red, slit eyes of his Master, in a cool, calm stare, unreadable, devoid of any emotion. He trusted his powers as an Occlumens. Both men stared at each other for long minutes. Severus was used to that inquisition in his mind – or the attempts. Many years of practice had made him immune to the formidable Legilimens the Dark Lord was.

"You may leave, Severus. I don't need you any longer," the Dark Lord said after a while, satisfied with what he had seen in his spy's mind.

The Potions Master bowed deeply in front of Lord Voldemort before Apparating back to Hogwarts. The meeting had last only a few minutes and Severus was glad about that. The Dark Lord had not noticed anything and for once, he had come back unscathed.

Severus rushed to Dumbledore's office as soon as he had arrived to his quarters for a proper debriefing. The Headmaster would be most happy to know that for once, his Potions Master had come back alive and well.

* * *

Albus and Severus had discussed the meeting with Voldemort for more than an hour. They agreed that Lorena would not be stunned – as her mind may become too easily accessible in that state. Besides Severus doubted that Voldemort would keep her like that. His greatest fear was that there would be other Death-Eaters during the ritual and that the Dark Lord grant them the right to have their share of her. However, the rational part of his mind told him that this should not happen as Voldemort would most likely be the only one to impregnate the girl. Therefore, no other man should touch her.

Severus would prepare a vial of a mild lust potion he knew. He would prepare a vial of fertility potion too, choosing one that would not tamper with her pregnancy. He would take his usual package of pain-killing and blood-replenishing potions. Dumbledore approved his plans. He trusted his spy's and Potions Master's judgment.

"Of course, you'll inform Lorena about the plan. She has to know how to act accordingly. A frightened, ignorant, young woman could be led to unforeseen extremities and be a danger for herself and for you."

Severus agreed. "That was my very intention, Headmaster."

"Is she ready, as far as Occlumency is concerned ?"

"Yes. She's very good at it now. Her contact telepathic skills had been helpful, she knows how and when to tap in them to Occlude her mind. She had made real progress. There should not problem in this regard."

* * *

Severus had every potions he needed in stock except the fertility and the lust potions but these were quick and easy to prepare. He had thought he could prepare the Elixir they had used during the Lughnasadh ritual but as he did not know all its properties, he preferred to discard it. He promised himself that once all this would be over, he would make some research on it. Maybe next summer…

The thought brought back nice memories to him. He missed Lorena. Almost a month had passed since he had had the occasion to hold her in his arms. She came to see him privately for the Occlumency lessons only. Even there, she would not let him touch her, clinging steadfastly to her resolve.

Now, Severus was like a hungry animal, hungry for her. He did not show it but there was a white flicker of lust for her in his dark eyes whenever he looked at her. Of course, his gaze was unreadable as usual, in particular when they were in class together. Yet, once he was alone with Lorena, or sure he was not looked at, his charcoal eyes burnt out of desire for her. She could not see this but she could feel it through their bond. She was cautious as his passion was something disturbing to her. She did not want to have sex with him, not after what he had done to her, even if she knew that his intentions were not to hurt her. All the same. The experience had left her with a bitter taste.

Otherwise the Occlumency lessons were all the more satisfactory. She had made constant, steady progress. Severus had to admit that she was real good at it. He was confident she would succeed in resisting the Dark Lord in this regard. They had also added fake memories while he had taught her to conceal the real ones deep. Like who had been her first lover. Yes, she would be ready to face Lord Voldemort.

* * *

The School was buzzing with the oncoming Halloween Ball. It had become the main topic in girls discussions, all Houses included. What dress to wear, the best shoes for dancing, what make-up, what hairdo. But most of all, what partner to go to with.

Lorena had decided she would go to the ball, no matter her lack of partner or her blindness. She just wanted to have fun and feel normal, especially as she knew the ordeal to follow after. She said nothing to her housemates, nobody paid attention to her anyway. She was blind, who would dance with a blind girl ? She would just be good to remain seated on a chair all night long. She would not even have the pleasure of watching other people enjoying themselves. At least there would be the music to listen.

Lorena did not care what her schoolmates thought about her. She would just go there. She would just be discreet but decided to have fun. Maybe someone from another House would agree to have a few dances with her anyway. There would be food too and plenty of people to have a chat with. Her absence would be considered as weird too – so better go.

Lorena prepared her stuff quietly. A good pair of shoes to dance and stockings. She took a medieval-cut dress from her trunk and laid it on her bed. She closed the curtains of her poster bed around for privacy. She could not see physically but her extra sensorial perception compensated in this regard. The dress was certainly the most beautiful she possessed. A dark green color, a rich and heavy damassed fabric, soft and brilliant like silk outside while inside, the lining was made of a light silver silk. The hems, collar line and sleeves were bordered by a silky band reproducing silver snakes. The flowery motives in the damas had been changed to feature coiled snakes in a very discreet manner. The top of the dress had a heart shape that left her shoulders naked. She would wear a white undershirt with long sleeves and laced cuffs, which left her shoulders naked. The most beautiful long undershirt she had and kept to go with that particular dress.

That was the dress she kept for very special occasions like balls or ceremonies. She had brought the dress thinking about her graduation ceremony. She had bought it before her fifth-year. She had modified it to fit her House colors and symbols when she was not blind yet. _Lucky me then !_

_That would be the right occasion to wear it_, she thought. There was nobody around in the dorm for the time being. She took the dress and the undershirt with her and went to the bathroom quickly. She removed her school robes and uniform she wore under. She put the green dress above the undershirt carefully. She adjusted the dress once inside and she felt suddenly like one million galleons. She turned herself to the enchanted mirror and before she could ask it how she looked, the mirror exclaimed that the dress fitted her perfectly. She turned on herself so that the mirror could have a full view. The magical implement approved. Nothing was to be changed. She thanked the mirror and removed the dress. She was sure she would stun Severus with that outfit. _Dress to kill._ The thought made her smile.

The other girls may take ages to decide what to wear, or change their minds every minute or so. But Lorena knew what to wear, which would make her preparation quick and easy. She knew a few charms for make-up and hairstyle, so that would be fast. She esteemed that she could be ready in about fifteen minutes or so.

* * *

As Halloween approached, the students became more and more enthusiastic about the ball. For Lorena, however, the joy of it was tampered by the perspective of meeting the Dark Lord. Severus had explained to her the plans and what would happen.

"We have to discuss about the meeting with the Dark Lord. We will Apparate from my quarters a bit before 11 pm, so that we won't be late."

"Please make it so that I don't feel anything," she pleaded.

"I can't change the Dark Lord's mind. I see what I could do. It all depends on the Dark Lord's wishes, not mine or yours. If he wants you to remain conscious…" He swallowed hard. "You'll have to remain so."

"Wonderful."

Compassion shone forth in his eyes briefly. That she could not see of course. "I'm sorry, Lorena. I think it'd be better if you remain conscious, so that you may control your mind. If you're unconscious, the Dark Lord may access your mind more easily. I'm sorry." His voice reflected his compassion.

"Not as much as me," she spat angrily.

"You'll have to behave according a few rules. First, you won't speak until spoken to. If possible, I'll reply in your stead. Second, keep your eyes down. The Dark Lord's a skilled Legilimens, he can read in your blind eyes. Occlude your mind regularly, check your mental shields too. You can do it. Third, you'll address him as 'My Lord', if he talks to you. Like you do here with a teacher. I'll indicate you when to bow. Otherwise, remain silent for the rest of the meeting and let me do. Do not object or show any slightest sign of disagreement to any order he may give to you or to anybody else. Keep your face unreadable. You may do it if you focus on your Occlumency. A last thing : you're a Muggle-born, that means for the Dark Lord and his followers, that you're no better than… filth. Sorry about the comparison but it should help you grasp the situation as to your status. It means you'll have to stay at your place. These few rules can mean life or death for both me and you."

He let the words sink on her. She nodded.

"The Dark Lord has asked me to prepare a lust potion for him. He also required me that I should prepare a fertility potion for you. He doesn't want to miss it. I'm preparing both. Well, the fertility potion will not tamper with your pregnancy, as it will be a placebo in fact. As for the lust potion for him, I'll make it mild."

Lorena snorted. "May I have something for me ? Something to help me… put up… with him ?"

Severus considered her request. "Listen, Lorena, I thought about it and believe me, I want nothing more than ease the part for you. But any potion of that nature may render your mind weaker. This is a risk we cannot afford to run. It is possible that the Dark Lord may use the sexual intercourse to enter your mind even deeper. You'll need all your mental capacities to prevent him from doing this."

She nodded, an obvious look of distress on her face.

"The Dark Lord wants to impregnate you. He told me he doesn't wish to fight. I don't think he'll harm you. But I strongly advise you should not fight him and just let him have his way with you."

"His way with me ? He's just going to rape me !" Lorena spat, barely containing her revolt and disgust. She thought about the time Severus had taken her without her consent. It would be pleasant compared to how she imagined the thing with the Dark Lord.

"You could Stun me before we get there. Or maybe you give me a sleeping draught or whatever before. I don't want to feel anything !"

"I can't, Lorena. If I do so and that's not what the Dark Lord wishes, we may spend a very bad time. Both you and me. Besides, I want you in full possession of your mental capacities. As I explained to you, we cannot afford our cover to blow up. It's a matter of life and death !"

"So you recommend that I… remain conscious all through this ?"

"As much as I don't like it, yes."

She remained silent. "I will then. Fortunately, there'll be the ball before to cheer me up."

"You intend to go ?"

"I do. But don't worry. I won't drink so that I could keep my judgment. I don't want to spend my evening here, waiting to go to a mad man's party, don't you think ? By the way, as a teacher, I suppose you'll be there too ?"

"Yes, I will," he replied gruffly. "You're probably right. It won't do you any good to brood all alone on your side."

"Thank you, Professor." She had a little smirk for him. "Do you think I'm ready as far as Occlumency is concerned ?"

"Yes, you are. I'd prefer you to retain all your mental capacities, for that reason. A Stunned mind is easily accessible."

Lorena's face became serious. She was thinking about what he had just said, measuring the consequences. "I'll remain conscious then." _I'll do it for you._

She had accepted her fate. Suddenly, a wave of admiration poured into Severus' heart. "You're the bravest woman I've ever met, Lorena."

She took his hand. "Professor… as long as I know you're around, with me, I'm not afraid." Her fingertips touched her Love-Snakes ring. "Should I remove them ?" she asked showing him her ring. "Does the Dark Lord knows about… Love-Snakes and what they mean ?"

"No, I don't think so and to tell the truth, I don't think he cares. The Dark Lord has a specific frame of mind that makes him commit mistakes. Basically, he pays no attention to details that doesn't interest him, that doesn't bring him power."

"This is power," she replied while showing her ring.

"Love is a power that doesn't interest him. He considers it a weakness. He seeks power for power's sake only. Anything else outside of this is of no importance to him. That's his greatest weakness. He's very proficient in certain areas of magic while being woefully ignorant in others."

She snorted. "Incredible. But useful to know indeed."

"That's a very Slytherin summary of the situation, but accurate nonetheless."

"So we have all our chances then ?"

"Yes, Lorena. Trust your abilities, your powers, your magic. Trust your elemental magic. Tap in it. The Dark Lord may despise it so he'll remain largely ignorant about its subtleties, even if he seeks it for the power it can bring to him. You'll be stronger than him on this one. We'll make it."

"And you ?"

Severus took a silent breath. "The Unbreakable Vow's magic will help me in this regard. Whatever may happen to me, do not react, understood ? If he hurts me, you just let him do. No empathic stunt on your part. That will arouse his suspicions immediately. Besides, I'm used to bad treatment."

"But if he knows about the… the Vow ? I was bonded to you with it, I can use its magic too."

"In no way you shall do that. You'll have to hide the bond we have together and not use it. At any cost. If the Dark Lord notices you feel something for me, he may just order me to kill you, just to assert his power over me. Not at once as he wants your powers. But in the end I would have to do it, Lorena. Believe me, the man means business."

Severus did not want her to know that Albus Dumbledore would have the same reasoning as the Dark Lord, to preserve his Potions Master's cover as a spy. Even if that meant disposing of her.

The perspective chilled her. "And you'll do it, I know what you're capable of," she stated. She knew Severus would be able to kill her. She had uttered these words with understanding, almost compassion. Severus did not contend her, she was right after all. _Better for her to grasp the truth that way. She'll avoid doing foolish things._

"Do you think that my abilities will pass onto the Dark Lord ?"

"No. You're no longer a virgin. Shedding virgin blood happens only once. During the first sexual intercourse." He paused and took her hand in his. "I was the only one to benefit from this." He caressed her hand gently. She was moved by the sweet contact. "Thanks to you, Lorena."

She touched her Snape medallion. "Yes, elemental magic will help us. And the most powerful magic in the world too, Professor. We'll make it."

She smiled at him. Her empty gaze was still staring in the void but Severus was sure that somehow she could see him. He pulled her in an embrace. It reassured him to feel her against him.

He let her go. "We have no more classes between now and the Ball. I'll see you then, Lorena. Has someone invited you ?" He made his tone as casual as possible.

"No," she replied with aloofness. "But I do intend to have a fine time anyway. Maybe someone will invite me for a few dances. I believe there are still charitable souls in this castle. They'll have to be careful for themselves though, I don't know how to dance. I know that's weird for a musician but all musicians are not dancers. Well, I like waltzes, but that was long ago." Her tone was fiercely self-derisive now.

Severus looked at her, blessing her blindness. "Like many things, this is something one can learn." But before she could say anything in this regard, he dismissed her.

* * *

**_I hope I still have Severus in character - with his mind thinking and planning things in advance, leaving no details to chance. I wanted to show how much Albus Dumbledore is as scheming as Voldemort is. Well, things are not firmly set in black or white but instead coming in all shades of gray._**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	46. The Halloween Ball

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**46**** – The Halloween Ball**

Of course, no boy had invited Lorena. She did not care. In fact, there was only one person in the whole world she would have loved to be invited by. But he was a teacher and she knew that he could not do so. Moreover, he did not like this kind of function anyway.

Lorena still loved him, more than ever. At night, alone in her bed, she spent time treasuring the delicious time they had shared in the cave almost three months ago. Three months already ! she thought while her hand roamed over her belly. Yes, she could feel it was getting rounder but it did not show yet. Under her medieval-cut dresses, her school uniform and robes, there would be another month before it began to show. Maybe, with a bit of luck, it would hold up to Christmas. Ms Pomfrey had told her that past three months, the probabilities to have a miscarriage dropped dramatically. She had explained to her that she should expect her belly to show by the fourth month, that is during November.

Lorena sighed. She hoped the future would not be too harsh on her because of her pregnancy. She touched the Love-Snakes ring and put all her hopes in it, hopes that her schoolmates would leave her alone. The ring should grant her protection in this regard, even if Lorena believed sometimes that this was a rather thin protection.

Now there was no night she did not think about Severus before falling asleep. She kept sending love waves to the Love-Snakes, feeding them as much as she could. If only Severus had not been so brutal… but he did not love her, he had just _used_ her for his own carnal purposes. She had made a choice and had to bear the consequences. She had chosen to love that man, a man who would not love her. She had not chosen to fall pregnant but she had chosen to accept it nonetheless.

_I'm a Slytherin. We choose to bear the consequences of our actions._

* * *

On the Halloween evening, the whole castle was a bee hive for the feast and the ball. The Slytherin area was no foreign to this activity. Lorena had waited for the last girl to leave the place to get ready. She had remained on her bed, the curtains drawn around it, silent. Nobody had paid attention to her. She had just taken a shower and had put on the lovely long white undershirt and her stockings. The Snape medallion was hanging out of her garment, between her breasts.

Once they were gone, Lorena sprang from her bed like a devil out of a box and got her dress on. That was easy and she put on her shoes as well. Then she ran to the bathroom where she was complimented for her outfit by the enchanted mirror. She cast a charm on herself for her make-up (discreet) and her hair to be arranged. The Snape medallion completed her outfit with a lovely glowing touch. She stashed her wand in a discreet sheath attached to the silver fabric belt gracing her waist. In less than ten minutes, she was ready to go down to the Great Hall.

She made it quick as she did not wish to miss the beginning of the ball. Well, everybody would be there before the opening, for the Headmaster's speech and whatever. It gave her about fifteen minutes, enough to get ready and get there.

She managed to find her way quickly to the Entrance wall where everyone was gathered. She remained on top of the staircase. Once there, she met other students from other Houses. "Just tell me, is Professor Snape in the Hall ?" she asked one of the boys.

The boy's eyes scanned the place. "Yes, behind the Headmaster, besides Professor McGonagall."

"Excellent, thank you."

"You're very lovely," the boy whispered before she could reply. Lorena just grinned at him.

The Headmaster was in the middle of his speech. Lorena urged the other students to weasel their way inside the Hall discreetly. As for herself, that would be a whole another business. Especially in that gorgeous green dress.

As the audience was clapping their hands after the Headmaster's speech, Lorena decided to show up. She gripped the hand rail on the side of the stairwell – it was not the time to trip and fall.

She began to descend the stairs in a composure as dignified as possible. At the beginning, nobody seemed to have noticed. Then suddenly, one person of the staff had seen someone on the stairwell.

Severus was watching the lovely apparition with an unparalleled intensity in his eyes. "No… it can't be…" he whispered to himself, aloud enough though for Minerva – who was standing right beside – to hear him. As soon as he had recognized Lorena, he walked quickly to meet her as she was almost down the stairs.

Everybody was surprised to see the Potions Master crossing the Hall to meet someone. Then everybody turned their heads towards the girl there. Some people gasped. Others whispered "Oh, she's beautiful !" and other niceties. They saw the Potions Master coming to meet her. That was most unusual as it was well known a fact that Professor Snape never danced or even enjoyed balls at Hogwarts.

Everybody had recognized Lorena. Her empty pale gray gaze could not be mistaken. She had a tiny smile on her lips, which sweetened her face.

Everybody including Alastor Moody. His magical eye had scanned on her and he had to confess that he found her delicious. Unfortunately, the Potions Master had been faster than him. He saw them meeting each other in the middle of the room. He had the weird feeling that there was something going on between them. His Auror frame of mind had registered the way the pair interacted together. Nothing much but small signs meant sometimes a lot for him, they were the basis on which his constant vigilance was built. He sighed.

_Anyway, I cannot dance. All the same, she's gorgeous ! _

Severus came to her. "Miss Nottingham…" Lorena recognized his voice and her smile expanded.

"Professor Snape ?"

"Give me your hand so that I can guide you."

She extended her hand for him to seize it. As soon as they entered in contact with each other, they both received a jolt they carefully hid. Severus guided her inside the Great Hall.

In the background, a bit of music could be heard. The musicians were getting ready for the ball itself, tuning their instruments.

Meanwhile, the scene had left nobody indifferent. Minerva and Albus exchanged a glance that said it all. The other teachers were surprised that the Potions Master had decided to make a move. This kind of move.

The students were surprised too. The older ones, in particular the Slytherins, remembered having never seen Professor Snape taking any particular interest in any ball given here before. They just thought he did so to guide a blind student of his own House.

The girls detailed Lorena's outfit and found it really lovely. They knew of her taste for this type of clothing but had rarely the opportunity to see her as such, as she always wore her school robes and uniform above. Moreover, this dress was really beautiful in fabric, color and design, while her weekend dresses were plain most of the time.

As for the boys… they detailed the girl. Well, the older ones noticed that she was no longer a girl but a lovely young woman. Who would have ever thought that this was the young blind person from Slytherin ? How come they had lovely girls in Slytherin by the way ?

One boy's attention was particularly raptured. Draco Malfoy was gaping at her as if he was looking at her for the very first time in his life. True, she was richly dressed, beautiful and classy. She looked like a… pure-blood witch in her attire and her beauty had something… _She's not from this world_, he thought, without understanding his own thought. For a moment, he forgot Pansy Parkinson dangling at his arm. He had completely forgotten that the beautiful girl accompanied by Professor Snape was a 'blind, filthy Mudblood' by his own standards.

Severus and Lorena were in the middle of the Great Hall now. Albus glanced at Minerva a last time. A tiny smile from the Scottish professor replied to the Headmaster's twinkle in his blue eyes. With a gesture towards the band behind them, he asked them to start the music so that the only couple on the dance floor may open the ball.

The first measures of a dance began to play. "Oh, a waltz !" Lorena said aloud enough so that Severus could hear her. She stopped in her tracks. The Potions Master looked at her. It was clearly written on her face that she wanted to dance. _Please._

Severus perceived her request through their telepathic contact. He got closer to her and put a hand on her waist while entangling his other hand fingers with hers. Lorena noticed then that he did not wear his usual black school robes but otherwise, he was dressed as usual – she had recognized the black frock coat fabric when she put her hand on his chest.

"Match-making, Albus ?" Minerva said when she saw Severus leading Lorena to dance.

"You're talking about our dear Potions Master ? I'm afraid the match has been made for quite some time already."

"That's a nice match indeed," Minerva went on. "If one day the Board of Governors expels you from Hogwarts, Albus, you may still have a career opened to you as a match-maker."

The old Headmaster grinned. "It's good to see people having fun." He thought about the trial awaiting Lorena and Severus with the Dark Lord. "Especially these two indeed. A match made in heaven."

A sweet, slow waltz had begun and it was as if they were alone in the world. Well, they were the only couple on the dance floor. Severus was looking at her, desire written on his face, his charcoal eyes devouring her. Lorena had her empty gaze trained on him, a smile on her lips. What her eyes could not express, her mouth did. She enjoyed the moment, and joy made her even more radiating. She was blind but her sense of the music and old memories of waltzing compensated her disability. Besides, Severus was leading her firmly. From a distance, nobody could have thought that the woman was blind.

"You look ravishing, my dear," he told her softly.

"I didn't know that you could dance so well, Professor," she whispered.

He smirked. "There are many things you do not know about me, Miss Nottingham. I'm yours to discover," he purred in a low tone.

Her smile got broader. From the outside, they had an obvious pleasure dancing together. A minute or so later, Severus gestured at the rest of the public that they could join them on the dance floor. A few couples went there. Albus took Minerva's hand to lead her for the waltz.

Now the dance-floor was crowded with waltzing couples. Another waltz began, its pace faster. But Lorena managed to keep up with Severus still leading her firmly. She was having real fun and as they were dancing, she could feel that her 'almost lover' relaxed and enjoyed the moment too.

"Do you realize, Miss Nottingham, that many people, among them young men, are looking at you like… hungry wolves ? We have a whole pack of them here."

Lorena picked up on his sneering comment. "You surely know that I can defend myself, Professor. Besides, with someone like you dancing with me, I don't think there'll be any of them daring to snatch me away from you."

"I would not bet on that, Miss Nottingham. Draco Malfoy keeps looking at you any time he can, that is, when Miss Parkinson is not paying attention."

"Oh ! I thought I was only a 'blind, filthy Mudblood' for him !" She giggled. "Some people have the nobility conferred to them by their birthright, not by their moral qualities."

"Obviously." Severus thought he was only a half-blood himself – that is, considered as even inferior by some of these same pure-blood witches and wizards. However, he had managed to make his way to the top in both his specialty and his profession. He owed the bit of wealth he had to his hard work only. He was the top spy for both the Order and the Dark Lord too. He owed this only to his intelligence, qualities and skills – not to his birth.

They went on dancing for another waltz. Then Severus led her to a table for a soft drink. Given the particular visit they would have to pay later, they both had decided not to drink alcohol at all.

Lorena was sipping her pumpkin juice when she felt a slight pressure on her arm. "May I have the next dance with you ?"

"Draco ?" She had a hard time to believe he was asking her for a dance !

"Yes."

"What a surprise. Aren't you afraid of what Pansy may think ? You dancing with a… blind, filthy Mudblood like me ?"

"Come on, Lorena. Don't be a fool."

"I'm not, Draco. But it happens that Pansy and I are in the same House. I don't want to have her on my back for the rest of the year because she would have _clearly_ understood your intentions towards me."

Lorena could feel that the young man was not happy to be denied. "I would have liked to dance with you, Draco, but given my birth, I must decline."

"You prefer Snape's company, don't you ?" he said angrily.

"It's _Professor_ Snape, mind you. He's a half-blood as far as I know and he never insulted me about my birth or my origins. Besides, he's an excellent dancer. It happens that I enjoy these two qualities of his."

"Just let me escort you outside then. I'm not one to make… confidences in public like this."

"Confidences, Draco ? You surprise me." She put down her glass now empty. "Alright. Guide me, please, will you."

Draco looked around him. No Pansy around. He took Lorena by the arm and led her to a discreet corner of the Great Hall. A big pumpkin was there, hiding them mostly.

"Now, what is it you wanted to tell me, Draco ?"

"I wish to apologize, Lorena."

"Apologize ?" That came as a shocker. "You're full of surprises, Draco."

"I shouldn't have told you all these things about…" He was at a loss with his words, rather unusually. "About your being a Mudblood and all. You're…"

Draco Malfoy apologizing ? For _that_ motive ? Apparently it was worthy a possible row with Pansy in the future after all.

"You're beautiful, Lorena," he said with a raspy voice where desire could be heard. "I'm not talking about your outfit… or your jewel… or… whatever. You're just… stunningly beautiful and I'm just a fool not to have noticed it before."

Lorena smiled at him. "Well, Draco, that's rather unexpected." The pressure on her arm intensified but its intention was not harmful.

"Would you agree to go out with me then ?" he suddenly said.

Lorena was now at a loss. She could not tell him the whole truth, that she was pregnant with another man's child – a man who was no other than the Head of the House of Slytherin – and bonded with him already. Besides there was no reason not to go out with Draco.

"I don't think this is a good idea, Draco. What about Pansy ? She's got feelings about you. Besides, I don't think that your parents would be very happy to know you date a… Mudblood like me." Any reason would do except the truth.

"But you'd like it anyway, wouldn't you ? Say, what about the next weekend to Hogsmeade ?"

"I can't promise you, Draco. It's… Well, if it's just about going out to Hogsmeade, fair and square, and as I need a guide to get there, why not." She could not tell him that she was promised and expecting a child. She could not say 'no' bluntly as his sudden infatuation may prove useful later. "I think we should go back to the dance floor. Some people may be worried."

"I don't care about Pansy ! Or anybody else !" Saying so, he grabbed Lorena against him and kissed her. Well, he had planned to do so but Lorena had perceived his intentions beforehand and had turned away her head quickly. His kiss landed on her cheek.

"It happens I do worry, Mr Malfoy !" a deep, silky, dangerous voice said behind Draco. The young man turned away and his gray eyes met the black gaze of his godfather and Head of House. "What were you doing, Mr Malfoy ?" He knew, he had overheard the conversation.

Lorena came to Draco's rescue. "It's okay, Professor. Draco here…" For a second or two, she hesitated. She had perceived he would not like other people to know he had apologized to a Mudblood for his racist behavior. "Draco was just asking me to go out for the next weekend to Hogsmeade." Better this than telling the truth. She felt the young man relaxed, a feeling of gratitude coming from him. He had probably counted on her contact telepathic abilities as he still had his hand on her arm.

Severus watched his godson suspiciously. The young man did not flinch and sustained his gaze. He was perfectly aware that Severus Snape was a skilled Legilimens. "I can see that you've been taught Occlumency, Draco. Your aunt Bellatrix can be proud of you." Severus had intended the information to be useful for Lorena.

"I don't want you to search into my mind for my private life !"

Severus snorted. "You may do what you want with your private life, Mr Malfoy. But this young lady here has been placed under _my_ protection, due to her disability. I won't tolerate any manhandling of her !"

"Professor, I can assure you that Draco was not manhandling me." Lorena said in the young man's defense. "Not at all."

_Is he jealous ?_ She raised her mental shields at once. She was right, Severus had turned his charcoal gaze on her. He knew this would be useless. She had anticipated his move on her mind and had Occluded it in no time.

He decided to believe her. To trust her. "Miss Parkinson is looking for you, Mr Malfoy. Go now !"

The young man did not say anything but his clear gaze sent daggers at the Potions Master. Lorena let out a sigh once he was gone.

"Thank you, Professor," she whispered.

"Did he hurt you ?"

"No, not at all. He was even nice with me." She realized that he must have been aware of what had happened in the Slytherin common room, when she had come back from the Unbreakable Vow bonding.

"Alright. Come with me. We'll talk about this later. I want to dance with you. Now !"

She felt the longing, the need, in his touch. He wanted to have her for him and him only. Before his Master had her. She felt how possessive Severus could be.

Lorena followed him – she did not have much choice. There was another waltz beginning. He put his hand on her waist. His touch was firmer this time. His fingers entangled with hers in a stronger fashion. She felt that he wanted to reassert his ownership of hers on her.

"Did he kiss you ?" he asked bluntly once they were on the dance floor.

"He tried. But he failed." The pressure in his hands grew stronger. She shivered. She could not have imagined he could be jealous. At least, she supposed, as he was keeping his mental shields up to their highest. But what his mind would not say, his body language did.

_He's jealous of a boy I will never be attracted to. Because that boy kissed me – on the cheek – while I've denied him to do so after he had… raped me. Oh Severus ! I love you but I can't put up with your brutality._ Lorena realized that she would have to put up with Lord Voldemort in a few hours… The Dark Lord was most famous for his ruthlessness.

Somehow, Severus must have felt the slight change in herself. He had read it on her face. Again, he could clearly read anxiety on it. His hand, his fingers became more caressing.

"Are you afraid, Miss Nottingham ?" he whispered.

"I won't lie to you, Professor. Yes, I am."

They both knew what it was all about. The waltz ended. They went to a table serving food. Severus led her to the table where other staff members were sitting, among them Ms Pince, Poppy Pomfrey and Argus Filch. The medi-witch began to chat with Lorena. Nobody said a word about her dancing with the Potions Master.

Lorena had other dances, not only with Severus, but also Dumbledore, Alastor Moody (who had overcome his initial reluctance to dance due to his own disability), Draco Malfoy (who had had his way with her eventually) and other boys from the other Houses, under the watchful eyes of the Potions Master. He had deemed that her dancing with other men would prevent any gossip – gossip that would have arisen if she had danced with him exclusively. Lorena enjoyed the party a lot and it distracted her mind conveniently. She may not have been popular within her House, but boys from other Houses did not mind dancing with her. She had fun and it showed. She was radiant. It increased Severus' feeling of possessiveness towards her – though he did not show it as usual.

After almost two hours, a slow dance was announced, welcomed with a great enthusiasm from all present. Of course, Severus knew about this Muggle dance that youngsters seemed to be particularly fond of, as a prelude to snogging. Out of curiosity, he saw that Draco was not dancing with Pansy. He was nowhere to be seen actually. He took Lorena's hand in his before anybody could have the least chance of moving on her. After all these males having danced with her, he wanted to have her for himself alone.

Severus' hand on Lorena's waist dragged her closer to him. She felt uneasy being so close to him amid so many people. "Relax, Miss Nottingham," she heard him say softly.

"People may gossip, seeing us together like this, so close."

"You can't see around, but I can assure you that most of the people are busy dancing. Or already snogging as far as some of them are concerned." There was a hint of humor in his voice. Lorena almost giggled. "They won't even pay attention." _Even if I snog you myself_, he told her in her mind. Contact telepathy had its advantages. They went on their conversation mentally.

_- __So, what was it with Draco Malfoy ?_

_- __Please keep it for you. I don't think he'd like this to be known. That's why I said he had been inviting me to accompany me to the next Hogsmeade weekend..._

_- Taking care of his feelings now ? __What is it ?_

_- He apologized to me for calling me a Mudblood and all that jazz._

_- __Did he ? Well, you were right. It's a declaration of love. He's in love with you !_

_- __Oh, that's why you overreacted a bit then ? Feeling… jealous, Professor ?_

He did not reply.

_- __Your contact telepathy has dramatically improved_, she resumed.

_- __Being in contact with your mind during Occlumency lessons had been particularly useful, Lorena. I'm a fast learner._

_- No doubt about that. __You didn't reply to my question. You have no need to be jealous of a boy like Draco Malfoy. I thought I had already told you that I'm not interested in teenagers._

_- __You don't understand, Lorena. He kissed you, while you deny me this !_

His arms around her tightened their embrace. Now she could feel his hard-on. She shivered.

_- __He didn't kiss me. I didn't let him do that. Or that was really innocent._

_- __There's no innocent kiss, Lorena. Draco is now an adult, like you are. Like I am._ He paused. _I want you, Lorena… Can you feel it ?_

_- __Yes, I can feel it. But that's just desire, want, need, lust._

_- __True. It's also passion and… feelings. Remember on what Love-Snakes feed ? Care. Attention._

_- __You were not that careful and attentive when you forced yourself on me two months ago, Professor. Do I need to remind you that ?_

_- __I know and I'm truly sorry about that. My passion, my longing for you, every thing I feel for you, all this carried me away. You're mine !_

_- Professor__… in a few hours, I'll be the Dark Lord's, for him to impregnate me. Please, help me !_

She felt a strong wave of comfort coming from him. He could do that too, though she was not sure. Maybe it was just an emanation of his strong personality, radiating around. She was just so sensitive, so attuned to him.

_- __I know you're afraid, Lorena. But you'll have to put this back in a remote place in your mind. I know you can do it. I won't be far, Lorena. The Dark Lord won't kill you as he wants you to bear his child. I swear I'll look after you as much as I can._

_- __Thank you, Professor. I will… not be afraid as long as I know you're with me. _

_- __We're both in it, Lorena. We have to shut out any emotions, any feelings, especially those we may… have for each other. It's a matter of life and death. Remember that the bond we share will help us go through our respective trials._

_- __I'll do it, Professor. I'll do it for you. Because… _

She wanted to say 'I love you' but she refrained.

_- __We should leave now. I suppose you wish to go back to your dorm before ?_

_- __Yes, please. I don't want to go there dressed like this. I'd rather wear something more… humble. This dress is for joyous, festive occasions. And I liked to keep it like this. Besides, you're supposed to snatch me from bed._

_- __I understand. First to your dorm. Then we'll go to my quarters and Apparate from there._

She nodded in approval. The slow ended. They severed their telepathic communication. They left the dance-floor and joined Albus Dumbledore. Severus looked at the old wizard. They both exchanged a glance that said it all. Albus nodded gravely. "Good luck to you both," he simply said.

Lorena and Severus went back to the Slytherin girls dorm. There was nobody there. As a Head of House, Severus could access his House dormitories, both boys' and girls' – which he seldom did though. Lorena quickly removed her dress and the undershirt, which she put into her cabinet. She removed her shoes, undergarments and stockings. She put on a simple long white shirt. "Better look like you snatched me from bed, don't you think ?" she said. Severus approved.

"Give me your wand, Lorena. We never know, it can prove useful." She complied. He put it in his right sleeve, secure.

"Should I keep my ring and the medallion too ?"

"I've thought about them since the last time we met. They're tied up to your elemental magic. This should be most useful. Usually the Dark Lord does not pay attention to details that does not convert into power. Like these. He doesn't know that these objects are laden with magic. However… I'd make an exception for the ring and the medallion this time. Give them to me."

He did not wish the Dark Lord to see what was written on the other side of the Snape medallion. _Property of Prof. Severus Snape_. Too much a dead giveaway. Lorena did not question his decision and handed him over the jewel.

Lorena also removed the Love-Snakes ring and kissed it before handing it to Severus. _She kisses them !_ He was surprised by her gesture but said nothing. He retrieved the chain he wore around his neck, under his garments, that carried his own ring. He slid the ring in it and hid the chain back under his shirt. He patted them to make sure that the Love-Snakes were comfortable. _Care. Attention._

She was barefoot, as if she had just gotten out of bed. Even in a simple outfit, she looked beautiful and desirable. She had also removed her make-up thanks to a counter-charm, as well as freed her long raven hair. "He'll have my body, but that's all he's going to have, Professor." _I love you, Severus._

"I know."

Severus picked her up in his arms as she was barefoot. They quickly went to his quarters, meeting nobody on their short way between the Slytherin dorms and his den. Once there, he put on his Death-Eater cloak, he put the vials he had planned to take with him into his frock coat pockets. He put his mask on, blessing one more time Lorena's blindness. He also threw another large black traveling cloak he rolled around her so that she may not be cold, picked her up and they both Apparated for the Dark Lord's headquarters – wherever the Dark Mark had led them to.

It was almost 11 pm.

* * *

_**I was inspired by the Yule Ball scene in**_** Goblet of Fire**_**. I loved the way Hermione makes her entrance in the movie. And yes, I think Severus is a good dancer. He's so swift and graceful in his movements.**_

_**Besides, I believe that someone like Draco can change, hence his behavior with Lorena. I've always thought he's not completely evil. Like for Severus, not everyone is black or white. (Though they can be IN black and white.) He may also have a change of heart after seeing Lorena dancing with his godfather - he's a Slytherin after all.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	47. Meeting the Dark Lord

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**4****7 – Meeting the Dark Lord**

Severus and Lorena found themselves nearby an old mansion. She was still in his arms, it was cold outside. She shivered and he tightened his embrace around her to give her more warmth. He had rolled her in one of his traveling cloaks. It was so large that it covered her completely. He looked like he was carrying a rolled carpet rug in his arms.

He directed his steps towards the house. There, he was greeted by two low-rank Death-Eaters that recognized him at once and let him in. He could feel she was shivering with fear too.

Lorena had her extra sensorial perception open to the maximum. But before they entered a vast room, she heard Severus tell her to Occlude her mind as they were ushered into the Dark Lord's presence. She did so and it calmed her down. She had also perceived that there were several other people present, maybe five or six of them. The notion of having to have sex with the Dark Lord was disturbing enough – having to do so in company of several other men was downright frightening. She hid her fear and focused on the present moment.

She felt he put her down on the floor, gently. Severus bowed as deep as his precious load allowed him to do so. "My Lord. Here is the girl you need." His voice was cold, neutral, devoid of any emotion.

Lorena could hear everything. Her mind was closed but her senses were open. For the first time in her life, she heard the voice of the darkest wizard of all times, whose name caused so much fear among her kind that they did not dare say his name. She was surprised, he had a rather soft voice.

"Well done, Severus. You worked well. Can she hear me ?"

"Yes, my Lord. She's just blind."

"Get her up then ! Get up ! Get up !" His tone was imperious now.

Severus knelt down and began to unroll the cloak to free her.

"Get up ! Get up !" the Dark Lord ordered, urgency in his voice.

Lorena felt it and she obeyed as soon as her limbs were free. She got up with as much dignity as possible, in a fluid move, helped by Severus that turned her towards Voldemort. She kept her eyes down though. Once she was steady, she bowed graciously. "My Lord…"

Voldemort was surprised – pleasantly surprised. He rose from his throne and went to meet the young woman. She looked frail in her white long gown. And beautiful too. He took her hand in his.

"Severus told me about your blood status. You're a filthy Mudblood." If he had been admirative for a second or two, it had disappeared in his contemptuous comment.

Hearing her being addressed by him with an insult startled her but she kept her head down. No brash action, she remained silent. She realized he had taken her hand in his and it was cold. She banished her disgust to the farthest corners of her mind. She braced herself for the next contact to come.

"However, your primitive yet powerful magic is of great interest to me. Did you know that ?"

A trap. "No, I didn't, my Lord." Severus released his breath.

"Do you know why you're here ?"

"No, my Lord." _Keep it to a minimum._

She felt his fingers under her chin which he lifted. Severus looked at them both with intensity while blocking his own thoughts. "So it's true that you're blind…" the Dark Lord began. Her eyes were pale gray, empty as usual. Lorena could feel him probing her mind but she was ready. It lasted long seconds. She offered him various memories, from her childhood, her school time at Hogwarts, her OWLs exams, the time she spent at St. Mungo's and the institution for the blind, her playing music.

She became suddenly aware that he was looking for one particular memory. When she had become a woman. When she had made love for the first time. Of course, during their Occlumency lessons, Severus had already addressed the issue. The memory of them together was particularly strong and it had taken two sessions for them to put it back into the recesses of her mind and replace it with the image of another man. Lorena had refused to be Obliviated – she wanted to keep that memory like a treasure. She needed it to cast a Patronus if necessary. All the Dark Lord could see was the faded memory of a young man at the institution for the blind. Severus had particularly been skilled at tampering with that image in the Pensieve. She felt his frustration when he saw that image but remained immune to it.

He let go of her mind eventually but still keeping her hand in his. Severus let out a breath he had been holding for more than a minute at least – or so he thought. He was relieved that she had managed to pass this stage unscathed.

"I've been told that you belong to the House of Slytherin."

"Yes, my Lord."

"How strange that you've been sorted there, while you're just a Mudblood. Salazar Slytherin would not have been pleased with that !"

Lorena remained silent, her head lowered. She could not be held responsible for the decision taken by the Sorting Hat – which she did not control.

"What do you think of that, Mudblood ?" Voldemort insisted with a dangerous voice.

Through their physical contact, Lorena felt that he was testing her. Was he aware of her being able to read him through a simple touch ? She could not start ranting about the Sorting Hat responsibility. She took another road.

"My Lord… I'm proud of being a Slytherin. Belonging to the noble House of Salazar Slytherin is the only title of nobility I'll ever have. The only one I wish to have and keep though."

Somehow her reply pleased the Dark Lord. "Proud ? You are proud of being a Slytherin ?"

"Yes, my Lord."

She felt him probing her mind again. This time, she sent him the image of her dancing with the lovely green dress, with the silver snake drawings on the damas fabric. She was beautiful – like a pure-blood.

Severus understood then why she had been sorted into Slytherin. Not because of her birth or family or ideals or abilities – though this last part was slowly crumbling down in his own opinion as she had proved to be cunning and shrewd. She had been put into Slytherin because she _needed_ to be there.

"Indeed, I can see that. So many bad things have been said about Slytherin and his House. Darkness doesn't frighten you, does it ?"

"No, my Lord. I already live in the dark." This was delicate, Voldemort was not known for his sense of humor. He laughed briefly though, he seemed to have enjoyed her wit.

After all, if a half-blood like Severus had been able to access the Dark Lord's inner circle, among a whole gang of pure-bloods, why not a Muggle-born ? Lorena was well aware that the gap between Muggle-borns and half-bloods were far more important than between half-bloods and pure-bloods. Not that she felt any attraction to the man or his crazy actions and ideas, but if that could help her and Severus to survive somehow…

"I've been told that you can speak to snakes too. Is that true ?"

"Yes, my Lord."

"Prove it then. Lucius, bring Nagini in !" He turned towards her again. "A Parselmouth Mudblood… how weird. I'll test you right now !"

"Your wishes are my orders, my Lord," Lorena replied flatly, her head still lowered.

Severus thought that for the time being, the young woman was doing fine, though he had felt sheer anxiety when she had made her pun about darkness. In his opinion, he even thought that she had impressed the Dark Lord somehow. He had not expected all these questions from his Master, he had been afraid of her possible reactions. Now, he was confident she would pass the Dark Lord's test with flying colors.

Nagini was introduced into the room. While the huge snake was slithering amid those present towards her master, Voldemort kept his red eyes on Lorena. She was quiet. He was intrigued. She was not cowering. She was not the type to adore madly like Bellatrix either. He could feel her powerfulness as a witch, but she had no arrogance or whatever.

"Mudblood, here's Nagini. A snake that happens to be my familiar. You shall pet her and talk with her. I'm sure you're aware that I'm a Parselmouth too. You fool me, you're dead." His voice had something soft, like a whisper. A dangerous whisper.

Voldemort released her hand. Lorena stood alone, in the middle of the room. She could feel everyone's gaze on her. She did not know where the snake was, or what it was up to. She had registered the fact that Voldemort had referred to his snake as a _she_.

Soon, she heard a hissing sound nearby. She decided to kneel down, to be of level with the creature. _"Come to me,"_ she said in Parseltongue. The snake, hearing her, slithered towards her. _"Come to me."_

Her Parseltongue was slightly different in pronunciation, compared to the one spoken by the Dark Lord, like altered by a slight accent. Yet it was Parseltongue, definitely.

Severus watched the scene with a mix of fear and fascination. If the snake plunged her fangs in Lorena's body, she would die in a few minutes. He noticed he was not the only one to hold his breath in the room.

"_What kind of snake are you, Nagini ?"_ Lorena asked.

"_They say I'm a King Cobra,"_ Nagini replied. _"The most dangerous sort."_

"_And the biggest one too, I reckon. From India. The Serpent King. Or the Serpent Queen I should say in your case."_

"_Yes,"_ replied the huge snake. _"You're right. I am the Serpent Queen indeed."_

"_I'm honored to meet you,"_ Lorena went on, bowing her head respectfully towards the snake.

Severus' anxiety was growing by the second as he could not understand a single word of what was said. He hoped the young woman would not make a _faux-pas_. He had to summon all his willpower to hide that anxiety deep down his soul. Only the aloof attitude Lorena displayed kept him from going insane at this moment.

"_Nagini."_ The call came from Voldemort this time. _"Kill. Kill her."_

Lorena did not leave time to panic to overwhelm her. She had no wand to defend herself. She tapped in her elemental magic instead, trusting her abilities. She put forward her both hands in a protective or repelling gesture, to shield herself from the snake's attack.

"_Thou shalt not kill me !"_ Lorena hissed in Parseltongue. _"Thou shalt not kill another Parselmouth."_ _Either that or the_ Avada Kedavra _from the Dark Lord_, she thought. _Choosing between the two, I'd prefer the Killing Curse… Faster and less gory._

"Enough !" Voldemort claimed forcefully in English. _"Nagini, go back to your sleeping couch in the other room,"_ he ordered the huge snake in Parseltongue. Nagini hissed a second or two and slithered her way back to the room where she had been before.

Lorena was still kneeling down. She had heard Voldemort's last words to his familiar. However, she preferred to remain on her knees, in a humble attitude that may well save her very life.

"I can see that you master Parseltongue, though with a slight accent. Who taught you ?" That was a mystery to him. How come a Mudblood could have learned a language associated with Salazar Slytherin and with Dark magic ?

"My father's mother did, my Lord. Long ago, I was but only a child." At the same time, Lorena showed him in her mind that the said grandmother had already died, besides the scenes she remembered her grandmother teaching her how to communicate not only with snakes but other creatures as well.

"I see." Could she be related to him ? A far distant descendant of Salazar Slytherin ? If yes, he was no longer the only Heir of Slytherin. He paused. "You used your primitive magic to protect yourself from Nagini, didn't you ?"

"Yes, my Lord."

The Dark Lord came to her and took her hand in his to help her get to her feet. "I want that magic, these powers of yours, Mudblood, do you understand ?" His tone had something pressing, dangerous.

"I do, my Lord."

"I'll have your powers. Filthy Mudbloods like you should not be allowed to have magic. Your powers shall be mine. They will be put to a better, nobler use than what you may do with them yourself now. With a Mudblood like you… these powers are wasted." He laughed sardonically. "Once I'm done with you, I shall be even more powerful, and you… shall be dead." He had spoken with a soft voice that froze Lorena's blood in her veins. She showed no emotion in this regard – an attitude that surprised him.

Voldemort turned towards the crowd of his followers. "In the meantime, to achieve that goal, there's so much to do yet. Severus !" the Dark Lord called. "Grab the Mudblood and follow me ! Gentlemen, I hope you'll enjoy the party without my company but a far more important duty awaits me. I have to leave you."

As usual, Voldemort had not said a word about his plans with the girl. Apparently, only Severus and the girl were involved. The Potions Master put the large cloak around her and took her in his arms in a cradle carry. Between his arms, Lorena let out a bit of her fear. He could feel she was scared but she did all she could to hide it carefully. _You did well, Lorena. Keep it up like this_, he encouraged her. He cut the telepathic link before she could reply. Having communicated with her that way for a few seconds was already a big risk.

They entered another room, richly decorated. There was a table in the middle, a bit smaller than a double-bed. The table looked like it was made of marble. The room was correctly lit. Nearby, the huge snake was coiled into its basket nearby the fireplace. Severus recorded as much as possible all the details the room contained.

"Get her ready, Severus. Do you have all the potions I asked you to prepare ?"

"Yes, Master." Severus put Lorena down on the ground and unwrapped her from the cloak. He helped her to stand up. She drew some comfort from his touch but did not let the feeling be perceived. Well, after all, he was her teacher, the only person she knew here.

"Undress her !" Voldemort barked. "Then you'll give us the potions we need. The fertility for her. The lust for me."

Lorena let out a whimper. At the same time, Severus removed her long gown. She was naked and shivering. Not of cold though as the room was warm. Instinctively, she tried to hide her private parts and her breasts with her both hands. She did the same with her mind though she was in complete panic.

"Hold her, Severus ! I want to look at her first !"

The Potions Master did as told, holding her arms behind her back. He felt as if he was helping another man to rape the girl – which he was in a sense. One more crime he would be an accomplice to. This time, it would be a torture to him. The crime would be the punishment. Voldemort looked at her. "You're beautiful, for a filthy Mudblood. Large hips…" His hands were there. "Firm breasts…" Now his hands were there. "You're fat just enough to carry children. Good. Because this is what you're here for, Mudblood. You're just good to be a sex slave and give pleasure to your Master. I am your Master now. You belong to me."

Lorena waited for the physical contact with him to be severed to think about her belly. She hoped he had mistaken her pregnancy for a bit of fat. She was not showing yet.

"You're going to give me a child, Mudblood. Severus ! Give her the fertility potion ! I don't want this to be missed. There's only one Halloween night per year. I'll hold her !"

Now Lorena felt she was seized by the Dark Lord. He was behind her, his hands gripping her both arms behind her back, his cold breath on her neck. Severus got the fertility potion out of his pocket. He grabbed her hair brutally, playing his role as the uncaring and brutal Death-Eater. He pulled her hair backwards and forced her jaw open. She screamed but between Voldemort's firm grip on her and Severus' pull on her hair, there was not much she could do. The Potions Master poured the whole content of the vial he was holding in his hands into her mouth, forcing it down her throat. She almost gagged but the two men's hold on her made any act of resistance futile. She gave in.

The fertility potion had nothing tasty in particular. Not bitter, not sweet. Nothing. Severus had carefully chosen the brew so that the girl may keep all her mental capacities intact. He had explained to her that the potion would have no effect on an already pregnant woman as it was a placebo.

"Now for the lust potion, Severus."

"Yes, Master, here it is."

The Potions Master handed it over to Voldemort. "Will it be enough for me ?"

"Yes, Master. However, you may take it in two times or three times." Severus had spoken with a neutral tone. The usual tone he had when dealing with the Dark Lord. But inside, his heart felt heavy. He concealed the horrible feelings he had deep in his soul. He was helping his Master to rape an innocent girl – his girl ! True he had already raped her himself but compared to the Dark Lord, it was lovemaking… He had no idea how Voldemort would behave with her. Severus had already heard Bellatrix Lestrange boast about the Dark Lord's performances in bed, that he was wonderful a lover and a real stud. But trust Bellatrix to be objective and trustful in her narrative… especially when it came to sex and Voldemort.

"Severus, I want you to stay here, with us. You may provide assistance."

"Assistance ? My Lord ?" he said, choking on the word.

Voldemort had an ironic laugh when he understood the unintended innuendo. "Not this kind of assistance, Severus. But she may need assistance. In case she cannot keep up with me, if you see what I mean."

The words terrified Lorena. She had concluded he would be ruthless and relentless during sex.

"Yes, Master. I've brought a pain-killing potion and a salve in case she's sore. I have something else too, so that she could be ready for your pleasure immediately."

That had been a last addition to his portable potion set. It was the only thing he had thought that could help her.

"What is it ?"

"A lubricating salve that will make her womanhood easier to access. She may say 'no' but her body will say 'yes'."

Voldemort pondered the answer. "Good idea indeed, Severus, as always. I don't want to fight. While I get ready, prepare her with it !"

This time, Severus felt he was being tortured himself. He would touch her, intimately, only to see another man take her and enjoy her. He remembered the silly scene he had made just because Draco Malfoy had tried to kiss her. Exquisite torture… to the point he wondered if the Dark Lord had perceived his interest for her to impose that on him. _No, I was the one to think about this salve, so that she may not feel too painful._

He sighed silently. _There is no innocent kiss… and I'm guilty of rape on her. Guilty to allow this to continue. _He stopped his thinking in case his Master may try Legilimency on him and catch him off guard.

Voldemort drank one third of the lust potion. Then he got rid of his black robes. Severus glanced discreetly at the tall man. His skin was between a pale white and a very light greenish/blueish hue. He blessed Lorena's blindness as she would not see him. He had snake features on his face, nostrils like slots, his eyes red in slits, with a gaze similar to that of a snake. His face had nothing more human. Severus even hoped he would not kiss her.

Severus led Lorena to the table, instructing her to lay there, with a low, deep voice that he tried to make as cold as possible. He spread her legs roughly and began to apply some of the lubricating salve he had brought, between her legs, massaging her womanhood in a careless manner. Lorena remained still under this ministrations. She did not wish to be touched by any of these men but she preferred Severus' touch on her though. A tear rolled on her cheek.

On his side, the Potions Master tried to keep his gestures as technical as possible. No sign of emotion showed on his face, despite the violent feelings he was harboring at this very moment. His hands were burning with longing for her. Desire ran high in his blood and he blessed his robes to conceal the hard-on he had now. He worked hard at repressing the violent desire searing his own body. He felt want and need for her but another man would enjoy her. His Master. He managed to get a grip on his lust though. His life depended on his ability to hide things after all.

He could not even risk a telepathic communication with her, lest the Dark Lord may perceive something. After all, Severus Snape was not supposed to be a telepath. The least hint he would be, would prove he had been the man who had deflowered her, thus writing his epitaph.

"She's ready for your pleasure, my Lord," he said in a low voice.

"Good, Severus. Take a seat and stay here in case she would need your care. I want this to be a success."

"Yes, Master."

_Care._It brought forward another word._ Attention._ The two words rang in his ears and his mind. How much he wanted to be the man who would give her care and attention !

Voldemort did not even pay attention that his Potions Master was there to see them. Severus thought that his Lord did trust him after all, to allow him to assist to something rather intimate. He knew that the Dark Lord wanted him to stay because he was the only person among the Death-Eaters to have a more or less medical knowledge as a Potions Master. It meant that Voldemort would do everything in his power to impregnate the girl and keep her alive to carry out his project. That was the only reassuring thought and Severus clang to that hope.

The Dark Lord was naked and Severus could see that his lust potion was efficient. He had an erection. Severus could not help but glancing at his Master's maleness, hoping it was no too big. No, it was thin and not so long. Far less big than his own. Even, not so developed as per human standards. But there was almost nothing human left in the Dark Lord. When Voldemort had come back into a human body, apparently some parts of it were missed… Somehow, Severus let out a breath, thinking it should not hurt her too much, at least physically. He had hurt her, hung as he was himself. _The size is not important, it's how you use it. _And this time, it would be rape, on a frightened girl.

Voldemort lied himself between Lorena's legs already wide open. She moaned out of panic when he took her wrists between his nervous, long, cold fingers. She screamed, tears rolled down her cheeks. Severus lowered his eyes, knowing the Dark Lord had just made her his when he heard him grunt noisily, baring his teeth as if he wanted to bite her.

Severus was mesmerized by the scene now in front of his eyes. _Oh Lorena ! I did the same on you ! How could I do that on you !_ He knew his Master would not check his mind and Severus let out a bit of the pressure he felt every time he was in the Dark Lord's vicinity. However, he did not try to send her positive feelings to support her, in case the Dark Lord may feel them. _Well, with that lust potion, he should not be too much aware… Yet that's a risk we cannot take._

Severus had chosen a not too potent potion, so that Lorena may not have to put up with a lust-mad rapist. He had stronger lust potions in his stores, which annihilated almost any reasoning. But the risk was too high that Voldemort may really injure her once in the pangs of lust. This risk, Severus was not ready to run it at all. Only Lorena's health was important to him at this point. Therefore, he had chosen an intermediate solution. The man would still have control on his mind but he should not be able to injure her too much, especially if he wanted to have children.

Suddenly, Severus feared for the child she was already carrying. His child ! His fear was so strong that he banished it quickly to a far corner of his mind. He hoped that Lorena would not think about it either. That would be too dangerous for them two. Fortunately, she was only three-month along and did not show too much yet. He also hoped the child would hang on – _well, it will as it had resisted the Draught Against Unwanted Tomorrows… It had resisted my assault on her…_ It could mean only one thing : right from its conception, this child was magical and endowed with very particular qualities. More than a magical birth, this child had been a magical conception.

The only torturing thing for Severus was seeing the woman he cared strongly for, to be possessed and raped by another man – without him able to do something to protect and save her. His jealousy resurfaced violently and he had to summon all his Occlumency to hide it deep down his soul – not very far from the faint light that still shone in him. His jealousy was like a dragon burning him from the inside. He had to keep it under his foot to master it and prevent it from destroying every thing on its way – including himself.

Severus thought how easy it could be to kill the Dark Lord now… The man was defenseless, too busy to use the girl underneath him. But at this point, she was too close to Voldemort. An _Avada Kedavra_ would kill them both. Moreover, the main room was full of other Death-Eaters. No, this was a foolish idea. They would never make it out of here alive.

On her side, Lorena had screamed when Voldemort had laid his cold body on her. The sensation was disgusting, she had the feeling that a snake or a corpse was laying on her, as he was so cold. Severus had raped her but his body had been like fire then. The fire of passion. She did not mind holding snakes in her hands but she did not cuddle them. She screamed all she had. The Dark Lord snorted mockingly.

"I'll like it when they scream ! You're mine… to carry my child…" He was moaning loud each time he was ramming in her brutally. "You filthy Mudblood… Mudblood whore… my slave… you're in my power… you belong to me !"

Besides, it came to Lorena's mind that she was supposed to be raped, not to like it. The reasoning quieted her down. What if she had liked it ? If she had liked Voldemort's taking her ? Thanks to Severus' salve, she felt no pain and she had perceived that the man now possessing her was far from being hung like a hippogriff… Compared to what she had sustained with Severus when he had raped her… But the Potions Master was right : the intention was essential. Voldemort was raping her because he wanted to assert power over her, to get her magical abilities. While Severus had raped her because he had truly wanted her, out of desire and lust. Voldemort felt nothing for her, she was just a Mudblood, good to serve his evil purposes. Severus was different, he felt something strong for her, in his own reprobate ways but all the same.

Lorena was constantly Occluding her mind. It had the double advantage of preserving her mind from the Dark Lord's possible intrusions, and it quieted her down, giving her a much needed sense of resiliency. He did try indeed to enter her mind at the beginning but he had abandoned it as he was more and more raptured by lust, the lust potion kicking in.

The Dark Lord took her three times in a row during the night, thanks to the lust potion. Each time he was more and more brutal. Lorena cried at the beginning but she managed to isolate herself from the surroundings, from him and she was no more than a silent rag doll beneath him. He was not tender at all, just here to fill her with his seed and assert his power over her. When Severus had raped her, his arms had been around her in a hot embrace, he had kissed her with burning lips, he had been greedy for her skin, her body, claiming her for not only the pleasure she could give him but for the warmth he could give to her – even if she had not tasted the thing then. His lust had been warm, hot, burning. Voldemort's lust was cold, icy, mortal.

Severus' thoughts were not that far from Lorena's at this instant. If he could take pleasure from her, he could give her… love. Severus realized this at this precise moment. His jealousy in front of Draco's advances to Lorena, his anger in front of the Dark Lord raping the young woman, the anxiety as to the child she carried – their child – all this made Severus understood that he felt more than longing, desire, want, need, lust, for her.

_I think I love you, Lorena._ He hid that feeling promptly, before it became too obvious, too powerful. Too dangerous.

When it was over, when there was no more lust potion left for him to use and abuse the young woman, Voldemort left her body and donned his robes.

"Severus ! You may go back to Hogwarts with her. Your mission now, as far as she is concerned, is to look after her. See to it that nothing happens to her and my child. I want you to confirm me that she's indeed pregnant, I give you one month's time for that. I'll summon you then. That should be enough. These are your orders. A last thing : not a single words to the others from you. Especially to Bellatrix. I'll just tell Lucius Malfoy. Now leave !"

"Yes, Master," Severus replied with a deep bow in front of the Dark Lord.

Voldemort went out of the room without a word, leaving his Potions Master and the young woman alone. Severus rushed to her. She was whimpering softly. He saw how sore she was between her legs, despite the salve he had given her first. He just put her night gown around her and rolled her into the large traveling cloak. He would take care of her once back to the school. He pocketed the empty vials. He hesitated, whether he should try to soothe her but he wanted to leave the place as soon as possible, before the Dark Lord changed his mind about them both. Without a word, he took her in his arms before Apparating back directly to his quarters at the castle.

* * *

_**I hope I've kept both Severus and Voldemort in character. I realized that I didn't post any warning at the end of the previous chapter for the violent scene exposed above. Remember, you've been warned and I bet on your intelligence, dear readers. At this stage, you've read enough of that story to know what kind of stuff I write. I hope you still enjoy it.**_

_**Please rate and review ! **__**Thanks in anticipation !**_


	48. A very powerful wizard

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**48**** – A very powerful wizard**

Once they arrived in his quarters, Severus checked on Lorena at once, lowering her down on the ground, spreading the cloak in which she was rolled, searching for her face. When he found it, he caressed it gently. She had not passed out but she was weak and crying silently, her eyes closed. "Lorena… Lorena… answer me… please !" he said softly.

He felt guilty to have let this horrible thing happen to her but he knew at the same time that he could not go against the Dark Lord's will. She opened her eyes slowly. "Severus…" she whispered faintly. "Not your fault…" she went on as if she had perceived his torment.

He removed her from the cloak and the long shirt that he had rolled around her body quickly before leaving the Dark Lord's place. He was stunned by her nudity – she was so beautiful. So frail.

So strong.

"Let me help you, Lorena," he said while taking her in a cradle carry. He lifted her and brought her to his bedroom. He put his precious load on his bed. "I can take you to Ms Pomfrey. Now."

"No, Professor. Please… Don't leave me alone."

"I won't. But let me take care of you. Of your injuries."

He removed his cloak. Before she could protest, he took the salve from his pocket. He gingerly spread her thighs but suddenly he felt his wrist grabbed with a force he had not imagined the young woman had.

"No ! Professor… please… I just want… to take a bath. Please…"

"But you need…"

"You'll do it after. Please. Let me have a bath first. Let me purify myself from… from _that_."

He could not remain deaf to her plea. "Alright. I'll prepare a bath for you. It'll be ready in a few minutes. Just don't move. I'll bring you to the bathroom once it's ready."

"Thank you, Professor," she said in a hoarse, exhausted voice.

The Potions Master went to the bathroom and filled the tub with warm water, adding relaxing essential oils in it, which smelled good. He could understand her request. He hoped it would not only cleanse her body but also relax her mind. However, he knew she would keep this atrocious memory for the rest of her life. That no lover, so good, caring and mindful, could ever erase that memory. _Unless I Obliviate her ?_ He knew that it would do no good for the rest of the events. Besides, in order to be efficient, Obliviation needed to be carried out quickly, not several months later. She had to remember what had happened that night as she may meet the Dark Lord again.

Even dead, Lord Voldemort would remain as a ghost between them. The thought hurt him more than anything else. The Dark Lord had raped her. Severus had raped her. Everything was lost forever between them. Nothing could be mended now. Her life was ruined. At barely eighteen.

Severus stopped the water and he went to fetch Lorena. She was motionless on his bed and for a second or two, he was taken aback by her beauty. He wanted her more than ever. But this time, it was more than lust and desire, need and want. There were feelings mixed with all the usual stuff he felt for her. He came to her and took her gently between his arms. Her pale gray eyes were emptier than ever and it frightened him.

"The bath's ready, Lorena. Let me bring you there." She consented by putting an arm around his neck. Once in the bathroom, he put her gently into the tub. She sighed with relief when her body touched the water. She whimpered in delight, released his neck, and let herself be covered by the warm liquid. It smelled good, the essential oils Severus had added smelled good, her body would relax even more.

_Care. Attention._

"Can I leave you alone ? You won't do anything… foolish ?"

"No, Professor, I won't… I just need to be on my own. Please."

Severus nodded. "Call me if you need anything." He was worried but went out. He let the door open though.

Lorena let her body relax in the water. She let the events of the night play again in her mind. For the first time, she blessed her pregnancy – this way she would not carry the Dark Lord's child. The baby she carried was not exactly a love child, more a lust child, born from the sacred ritual to which she had consented with Severus. But that was the key difference : she had been consenting, she had consented to the ritual. She had even enjoyed it.

She closed her eyes, clinging to that sweet memory. Her head leaned against the enamel tub. Tears began to roll on her cheeks. She felt sullied. She felt sore. But she could not move. She could not move her hand to comfort her body and cleanse herself. She felt ashamed and disgusted with herself, with her body. The only thing that she felt pure within her was the child she carried. _Innocent, it is innocent. _She hoped it would survive.

She remained motionless in the water and let it go out of her system, crying silently all the tears she may still have. She had never had this feeling when Severus had forced himself on her – she had been sad over a deed she considered to have sealed the end of their relationship, that was all. _That's because I love him. I'm ready to accept him whatever he may have done to me. I love him._

_I love you, Severus._ Lorena thought, her empty gaze lost in the void, tears running down her face, her head still leaning against the tub in abandon. _I love you, Severus. How could I've made it tonight without you by my side ?_

Unbeknownst to her, a powerful love wave left her. Somehow, Severus felt it, even if he was in the sitting room. Moving on a hunch, he went back to the bathroom.

He found her motionless in the tub. Her empty gaze, the look of despair on her face, her tears, all this frightened him. He rushed to her side and took her hand. She did not even react when she felt his hand on hers.

Through the contact, he perceived her pain, her shame, her disarray. They equaled his torment. "Lorena… Lorena…" She remained motionless. She just began to hum a tune he did not recognize at first.

The _Adagio for Strings_. It was hummed softly, but recognizable and expressed with pain. Severus let her do, just holding her hand in his, listening to her. _Maybe she cannot express her pain otherwise._ Her humming intensified with the crescendo. Tears poured down her face. Severus was careful to the least change on her face or body language. Through their physical contact, he could perceive her inner struggle.

When she arrived at the silence punctuating the crescendo, she stopped but did not resume the tune. Instead, she began to shake with violent sobs. Her lips parted as if she was grasping for air. Severus felt she was on the verge of falling down a cliff, as if she was a string about to break.

_Care. Attention._

He sent her a powerful wave of… _love_ ? At least all the feelings he had for her. He wanted to reassure her, to comfort her, to soothe her with every thing he had in himself, every thing positive and pure, even if it was not much. Every thing that made up the faint light that laid buried deep down his soul.

Lorena must have received it as her tremors subsided, her hand slightly squeezed his and she turned her head slowly towards him, offering her tormented face to him.

She had perceived his feelings for her. But she could not integrate them, accept them for the time being. She could feel their powerfulness, she just could not do anything with them. They were too much for her, now. She was so helpless.

"I can't, Severus…" she whispered.

He did not understand what she meant. But he respected that. "Let me help you, Lorena." He plunged his hand in the water. "It's cold now, you should not stay in there."

He released her hand and fetched a towel. He helped her get up, wrapped her body in the towel and took her out of the tub. She stood on her feet beside it, still held tight between his arms. She leaned against him, her head on his chest. It was good to be there. He held her tighter in a comforting gesture, rubbing her shoulders, her back. She sagged against him, feeling safe and protected. She closed her eyes.

Once he knew she was more or less dry, Severus took her in his arms and led her to his bed. "Let me take care of you now." He took the salve in his hand and spread her legs gently, very gently. He was surprised that she let him do. He applied the salve where she was sore, between her thighs, on her womanhood. After all, he knew her, he had given her so much pleasure. _And pain too_, he thought bitterly. _I blew it all up for a few minutes of lust and pleasure for me. For me only._

His fingers on her intimate flesh were gentle, soft, tender. While he massaged her there with the salve, he looked at her face, trying to read her slightest emotion, whether pain or comfort. She whimpered when it was painful. She soon felt better and her eyes closed.

Severus preferred to stop before it was too late for him. He wanted her badly but now he wanted to _love_ her. Even if he knew it would be no longer possible. "You should be alright now. Let me help you to put on your nightgown, so that you don't catch a cold."

She let him do. "Professor… for the baby… do you think it's going to be alright ? For it ?"

"I don't know. I'll bring you to Ms Pomfrey tomorrow – well after dawn. Or even now, if you wish. She could tell you."

"No, that's fine. It can wait for a few hours. I don't want to be alone in the Hospital Wing. I want to stay… with you."

Severus gathered that she was afraid and that he was the only person on earth able to provide her with a feeling of security. He caressed her cheek with his hand. "No problem, Lorena. You may sleep here. I'll sleep in the sofa in the sitting room…"

"No !" she exclaimed, anguish in her voice, grabbing his frock coat. "Please, Professor… stay with me… I don't want to be left alone… please… please…"

He sighed silently, promising himself for the umpteenth time that he would not harm her any more – not like he had done so two months ago. "Alright, Lorena. Just get into bed. I'll get myself ready and I'll come. You won't be left alone, I promise you."

She complied and inserted herself under the covers. Few minutes later, Severus did the same, fully clad in his pajamas. He felt awkward and did not dare take her in his arms though he knew she needed it. Instead, he just took her hand in his.

Suddenly, it came back to him. "Lorena ?"

"Yes…"

"I want to give you back something." He removed the chain he had around his neck, where he kept his Love-Snakes ring – where he had kept Lorena's too for the night. He retrieved the smaller ring and slid it to Lorena's finger. "It belongs here," he said softly. "And this too is yours, Lorena," he said while putting back the Snape medallion around her neck.

Lorena felt a love wave overwhelming her. She sighed deeply, with relief. Severus' feelings would be with her. She would be safe now. "Thank you…" she just murmured.

He held her hand tighter. Soon he felt her hand was relaxing in his, her breath was becoming steadier. He knew she had fallen asleep. With that, he just let everything go and joined her in deep slumber.

* * *

They had slept a few hours. Severus woke up around eight in the morning. He remembered the events of the previous night. How he had been proud to dance with one of the most lovely young women present that night at Hogwarts. How she had enjoyed it, enjoyed herself immensely thanks to him. How she was now in his bed, at his side. _Mine. But not for the taking._

He remembered the other part of the night too. When he had brought her to the Dark Lord. When Lord Voldemort had raped her to impregnate her. The plan, the horrendous plan to get a child from her to be sacrificed at Beltaine or Lughnasadh, in order for the Dark Lord to gain the magical powers of the young woman, that elemental magic of hers. The child would be sacrificed during a very Dark blood magic ritual – and so would be the mother if she had not given birth on time. _Anyway, he would kill her no matter what… she's only a… Mudblood for him._

Severus remembered the Unbreakable Vow. He would die if the Dark Lord's plan succeeded. He had to reckon that if Voldemort's plan succeeded, there would be nothing left for him anymore here and he'd better die then…

He got up, wishing not to let the gloomy prospect darken his day. He had other matters to tend to. More pressing matters. He looked at her. She was still peacefully sleeping. She needed it. He fetched his clothes and went to the bathroom to get ready. He would wake her up after to bring her to the Hospital Wing.

When he came back to his bedroom, in his usual Potions Master attire, he found Lorena awake. She was stroking the Snape medallion, her eyes wide open but absent. The sight hurt Severus. Would she be like before ?

He sat on the bed nearby her and took her hand in his. "Lorena ?"

She did not acknowledge his presence immediately. He called her a second time, this time stroking her cheek gently. "Professor ?" she said in a whisper. Of course, she knew it was him but she needed to hear his voice, to feel his presence near her.

"Get yourself ready, we'll Floo to the Hospital Wing. How do you feel ? Still sore ?" he asked softly.

She shook her head. However, Severus could read on her face that she was worried. Worried about the child. "The best way to know is to go and see Ms Pomfrey. Now." He led her to the bathroom. She got ready as quickly as her condition and disability allowed her. She kept her nightgown on as this was the only thing she had on when they had left his quarters the night before. He just put one of his black robes around her so that she could not catch cold.

"Professor ? Will you tell her ? About the Dark Lord ?"

"I thought about it and I think we should. Poppy knows about my spying activities already. She'd better knew what happened to you anyway."

They Flooed to the Hospital Wing. Luckily, there was nobody that morning. Ms Pomfrey was in her office and she gasped when she saw Severus entering her office with Lorena between in arms in a cradle carry. What had happened to the girl again this time ?

She gestured him to lay her on the examination table in the room beside. Severus put his precious load there. He was about to leave when Lorena seized his robes in a tight grip meaning that she wanted him to stay with her.

"Please… Professor… stay…"

Her face expressed so much anxiety and pain that he decided to stay with her. He took her hand to release his robes but kept it in his, holding it gently. "You may proceed, Ms Pomfrey," Lorena said.

The medi-witch had seen the whole exchange, wondering what to do for a second or two. She was tempted to shoo Severus outside but the girl wanted him to stay. Besides, as he was the child's father, he could stay after all.

"What happened, Severus ?" Poppy asked.

"She… was raped by the Dark Lord yesterday night. He wanted to impregnate her for some Dark blood magic ritual."

Poppy had heard and seen many horrible things in her life. This time, she imagined the ordeal sustained by the young woman. Raped by You-Know-Who ! How disgusting it must have been ! She knew what to look for now. She raised her medi-wand on her belly to assess any possible damage to the baby. After a few minutes spent in utter silence, she put her wand aside.

"Everything is normal, Lorena. You'll have your child normally. It is in good health. You're just a bit sore but I think that you were given a salve to alleviate your pain." She glanced at Severus who nodded.

Lorena's face turned to Ms Pomfrey. "Thank you so much," she said, obviously relieved. "The Professor here… he took real good care of me." Her hand squeezed his a bit more.

"By the way, Lorena, do you wish to know whether it's a boy or a girl by now ?" Poppy hoped to switch the matter to something lighter and more positive. "Would be time, if you wish, as you're beginning your fourth month."

Lorena looked hesitant. She remembered when the medi-witch had suggested her to know the child's gender, about two months ago. But at that time, the young woman thought she may lose it. Now, she was entering her fourth month. Despite two rapes and a powerful contraceptive potion, it was decided to hang on. It was time to know if that 'it' was a boy or a girl.

"Professor ? Do you want to know as well ?" Lorena asked softly.

"Up to you, Lorena," he simply said. It was not indifference. Through their physical contact, she could feel he just wanted to let her the choice to know or not.

"Yes, Ms Pomfrey, I'd like to know now."

"Good !" Poppy had to admit that she was curious too. The medi-witch passed her wand above the belly, whispering incantations. After long seconds, a mysterious haze surrounded the wand, which formed into a shape looking like a rune. "It's a boy, Lorena."

"A boy ?" Lorena put her other hand on her belly. Thanks to her telepathy, she could feel that Severus was pleased too somehow.

"Yes. Hope you're not too disappointed," Poppy said jokingly.

"Oh, no, actually, I don't mind a boy or a girl, as long as it is in good health."

The medi-witch chuckled. "You're right, Lorena. A child is a child." She paused. "You'll start show off from now I guess." She remained silent again, her wand still above the young woman's belly. "This child…"

Lorena tensed immediately. She felt Severus' hand tensing too in hers. "What ?"

"This child… will be a very powerful wizard," Poppy said softly.

"How can you feel it ?" This time, Severus had asked the question. "It may not be… well…"

"Do you think the both of you, powerful as you are, not blood-related at all, have conceived a Squib ?" She snorted. "Not that I see many pregnant girls here but all the same. My wand gives me some indications that show the child's magic is already very present. Don't worry, Lorena, it won't do magic in your womb," she quickly added seeing the puzzled look on the young woman's face. "You'll have to be careful as to his education in this regard. But with the both of you as his parents, I'm not worried. I trust you'll do fine." She left them alone, time for them to realize.

"Do you think this this is due to his magical conception ?" Lorena asked Severus.

"Possible. Very possible. I gained extra power when I deflowered you. Your elemental magic is most likely at work, like it had been at conception. It had protected the baby from the 'Draught Against Unwanted Tomorrows', remember ? It could protect him from whatever poison he may ingest in the future, among other things. What Poppy felt in the child, was the combination of your elemental magic and my own brand of magic, already very powerful, both increased by the ritual when you gave me your virginity."

Lorena remained thoughtful. "Alan."

"What ?"

"Alan. Alan Severus." She sighed dreamingly. "Your middle name was your father's given name. Looks like it's a tradition in your family. So our son shall bear your given name as a middle name too."

Alan Severus Snape, son of Severus Tobias Snape. Yes, it sounded right to him too. Because, of course, he would legitimate the child, be it born before he married her, which was most likely to happen. "Alright, Lorena. As you wish. 'Alan' will be nice indeed."

Her face lightened with a smile and the Potions Master was suddenly happy to see her relaxed. He could not resist and leaned to her to put a light kiss on her lips. Their first kiss in weeks. He met no resistance from her.

* * *

_**I could not resist : Alan... Yes, yes, I reckon, I admit, I confess, that was in reference to Alan Rickman, my favorite actor and the wonderful Severus Snape in the HP movies, source of inspiration for my Severus here in that story **_***sigh***_** OK, that was easy but I'm too old to change LOL**_

_**I hope I've kept Severus in character - he's a very complex man, I think he can be cold and cruel, and have a strong healing streak in himself, despite what he may say to keep his façade and cover. **__**Your opinion ?**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	49. Surprise in Hogsmeade

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**49**** – Surprise in Hogsmeade**

Draco Malfoy was a determined young man. That was what had prompted the Sorting Hat to put him into the House of Slytherin, more than his family and pure-blood status. He had not forgotten Lorena's vision from the Halloween Ball.

So, the first thing he did when he saw her after she came back to class, was to ask her out for the next Hogsmeade weekend. Lorena had not forgotten but she had hoped that he would have given up the idea. Now she was dressed in her usual plain clothes and school uniform, he would probably see in her the classmate she had always been, the 'blind, filthy mudblood' that she was in most of her housemates' eyes.

She was wrong. He insisted and Lorena gave in, not without setting some rules first. True, she needed a guide and could not decently ask Severus to accompany her. First, he would be her guide, in his capacity as a prefect. Second, no snogging or whatever. She needed time or so. She needed time to tell him that she was 'married' to another man. Third, they would go both together with the rest of the other Slytherins, as a group.

Draco Malfoy was a Slytherin. He agreed to her conditions, secretly hoping he could convince her that a bit of snogging with him was not a big deal – that it would be a good deal instead. On the contrary, the Malfoy charm should do the trick, so to speak. She remembered that he was handsome a boy, besides being a complete prat. But if he was decided to be civil and even kind with her, why not enjoying going out to Hogsmeade with him and the other Slytherins after all.

Lorena was a Slytherin too. She was perfectly aware that he would try his luck with her, as a consummate Slytherin too – he had already done so at the ball. Besides, he could prove to be useful to her. If the Slytherin Prince and prefect protected her and wished her well, that would spare her a lot of effort to gain respect from her other housemates. In any case, the afternoon promised to be interesting.

The Hogsmeade afternoon was scheduled on the second Saturday of November. It had already snowed an inch or two. Of course, Lorena decided she would not tell Severus about going out. Above all, going out with Draco Malfoy. Making her own decisions and not telling anyone about them was like having a grip on her destiny again.

* * *

The sky was full and of a milky color. For sure, it would snow by the end of the day or on the day after. Winter was settling in for good. Fires were roaring in the various fireplaces in the castle, to warm up classrooms and corridors. Except in the potions classroom, as usual. Fortunately, the flames heating the cauldrons offered a pleasant alternative.

Class work was good and it kept Lorena's mind busy. Slowly, the memories of the rape by Voldemort were receding. Resilient as she was, Lorena had accepted the fact that this had been a necessary evil to ensure the global plan against the Dark Lord to work. However, the rape by Severus was still very present in her mind though. She still dreamed about it and every time, she woke up with a terrible feeling of loss and sadness. She loved him but could not cope with his brutality. She was aware she cried over her 'almost lover', over their finished and shredded relationship.

She tried not to think about the Unbreakable Vow either. One day or so, Severus would marry her. _No, he will give me and my son his name. That's all. I don't want anything else from him._ This brought more sadness to her soul. How much she would have loved to have a loving relationship with him. Like they had had in Spinner's End. Maybe with time, he would have loved her eventually. But this was not meant to be.

She had been careful, since the inception of the year, to cast a silencing spell on her bed before going to sleep. She could hear the incoming sounds and noises, in case there was an emergency, but no outgoing sound from her could make it out to her dorm mates. Wise precaution : she had the feeling that sometimes she moaned or cried Severus' name in her dreams, or rather, her nightmares, when he came back there raping her again and again, a fierce, savage look on his features – the features she remembered from the years before in class. She did not wish them to hear she had been in contact with Voldemort either. Too much was at stake.

Otherwise, her class work was good. She felt confident that she would manage to graduate in good conditions, even with a child in tow and her disability. Despite her blindness, she was still among the top students of her class. Bad wishers said that was because she was one year older. But everyone knew that it had nothing to do with her age. One year more was not a big deal at this point.

Severus followed her education with close scrutiny. He was satisfied, and deep down himself, proud that she managed to do well and get good grades in the five subjects she had chosen. She seemed to feel at ease. He was happy for her as she had already endured a lot, no thanks to him for a certain part. He noticed that she Occluded her mind regularly and firmly – good thing, good training, he believed, even if that meant he could not slip any more into her mind discreetly. He had no idea what she was up to, nor what she really felt. He had concluded that if the girl wanted to talk about the events with the Dark Lord, she would naturally come to him.

He enquired about her and his other Slytherin students to the other teachers and all certified that she was quiet and pleasant, asking questions whenever she needed to get an answer to go to the bottom of a particular topic. Her magic was very strong and according to Professor Flitwick, it had even expanded dramatically, in proportions the old teacher had rarely seen in an 18-year-old girl. Severus said nothing but he knew : the virginity ritual must have had given Lorena part of his own matured powers.

In this regard, the other Slytherins tended to leave her alone. Lorena herself had noticed that now she was _feared_. As a Slytherin, this was an interesting feeling. In consequence, some students, not only from her own House, but from the other Houses too, tried to befriend her. She let them come to her, glad to be helpful whenever needed, but she was careful in not indulging in undue confidences. She was the listener, the one to ask questions to her fellow students. Very practical – and not entirely un-Slytherin – an approach to avoid problems, though she was aware that her belly would show before the Christmas break.

She did not mind. She was ready. The Love-Snakes would be there to help her. She was careful to feed them with love, especially since she had learned she carried a boy. The life growing in her was no longer abstract. Alan had become a real person to her now. She could feel him move sometimes.

The dueling classes were the moments when Lorena could feel how much protective Severus had become of her. Well, he had always been more or less. That was part of his personality. The more possessive he was, the more protective he turned out to be. Especially since the Halloween evening with the Dark Lord. Besides, the Unbreakable Vow magic was at work. He hesitated to pair her with strong classmates, fearing something may happen to… Alan. For him too, the baby had become more than an abstraction. His sharp gaze on her could see that she was growing bigger. He knew her body so well.

So he paired her with sixth-years or seventh-years that were not too powerful in his opinion. Up to the moment when Moody decided a change in tactics. The ex-Auror had noticed this, though without knowing the real motives behind. Sometimes, Moody asked her to pair with him for demonstrations – which displeased Severus most. But the Potions Master could not tell Moody the real motives and did not wish to do so. He just relied on Moody's carefulness. And Lorena's skills.

The ex-Auror was happy to duel with her in demonstrations to the other students. He had noticed quickly that Lorena was a powerful witch – a bit too much powerful for a girl of her age, in his own opinion. Like Flitwick, he thought her powers had the wizarding maturity of a woman in her late twenties or even older. This intrigued him. He hoped he could know the truth about her one day.

This was not the only motive behind his curiosity. He discovered that he fancied her. She was a student indeed, though of age, but so womanly, so pretty, so mature, so much to his taste… Not that he wanted to bed a student at any cost but he had felt too much lonely all these past years. She was a Slytherin and this did not come too much right in his book, as a Gryffindor. All the same, she was gentle and smiling, brave and unafraid of new experiences. Very un-Slytherin in his opinion.

Like Albus Dumbledore, he agreed that maybe, the kids were sorted too soon. _This girl should have been sorted into Gryffindor,_ he could not help thinking. Of course, he had not noticed she was pregnant. He had just deemed she was definitely on the plump side – which was okay for him. _Well, something to grasp and grope_, he thought while licking his lips thinking of her breasts that promised to be full, even under her robes. He had noticed that from her movements that opened her school robes sometimes, so that he could see. Of course, he had no idea that she was promised to the Head of Slytherin either – and pregnant with Severus' child.

* * *

The Hogsmeade weekend arrived and the youth got ready. The sky had still that gloomy, milky aspect but at least, it was not snowing. Anyway, everyone was dressed with warm clothes, boots, scarves, caps and all. Lorena had one of her usual long dresses on, with a long undershirt, stockings, a warm overtunic above her garments, and her cloak. Her Slytherin scarf around her neck completed her outfit as well as gloves. Her wand stashed in an inside pocket in her cloak, she went out of the girls dorms and joined the rest of the Slytherins on their way out.

Draco spotted her and went to her directly. Pansy was furious but he had explained her that he was there to guide her as she was blind, as a prefect, order of their Head of House. That was a pure lie, as Professor Snape did not even know that Lorena was to go out to Hogsmeade. Pansy was no fool, she had sensed that Draco was more than on duty.

The Slytherins joined the rest of the students from the other Houses at the gates of the castle. There were laughter and jokes and chatters going on as everyone proceeded along the path to the village. Draco had tucked Lorena's hand in his elbow crook, so that he could guide her gently. Maybe, once they were alone, he could take her hand in his. Maybe later, he could drag her closer to him for a real kiss. And maybe more.

Lorena dreaded that things may get out of hand but all in all, the afternoon went fine. Everybody was having a good time strolling in Hogsmeade streets. All the youngsters made it eventually to the Three-Broomsticks for a hot beverage. Draco made Lorena sit at his right. There would be gossiping – and not only in the Slytherin common room but in the rest of the castle as well. Lorena was careful as to leave no doubt she was not interested in the young man _at all_. She was just friendly with him, like with everyone else around, careful to show everyone present that she was not with him. If the matter was reported to Severus, for sure the Potions Master would give her hell…

Lorena had a strange thought then : she had just discovered that she may hold power over Severus after all. He had proved possessive, even jealous, eager to assert his ownership of hers. It even came to her mind that he had surely raped her to assert that right over her. _Oh Severus, you didn't need to resort to that to claim me ! _she thought with sadness. _I was already yours, wholly yours_. She remained silent, suddenly sad. _Why did you take by force what I had already given you so willingly ?_ She quickly came back to reality despite a deep feeling of sadness that took over her suddenly. She did her best to hide that feeling of hers to the others but it had appeared all of a sudden. She noticed that some other students had a gloomy tone in their voices.

After one hour spent there, it was time to go back to the school. The sky was growing darker as night was falling. The young people went out in joyful groups. Somehow, in the crowd, Draco managed to get out with Lorena but without the other Slytherins.

Suddenly, Lorena squeezed Draco's arm. She had perceived a sense of danger without knowing what that danger could really be. Almost a few seconds later, there was a scream, followed by other screams and people running out in the streets.

Draco had recognized the danger at once. Silhouettes in long, black cloaks, with masks under their hoods, told him who those people were. He guessed his classmates had thought the same, given the sharp screams and shrieks, the hurried runs from the shady characters.

_Death-Eaters ! What are they doing here ?_ he thought at once. "Follow me !" Draco grabbed Lorena's hand in his and they both ran away. The young man spotted a dark, desert alley where they could hide, time for the Death-Eaters to go elsewhere. Then he could Apparate them back to the Hogwarts gates.

Lorena said nothing but through the physical contact with Draco, she had sensed his train of thoughts. He was right, buying them time. Better get going and be forgotten. Draco spotted a recess in the wall. He pushed Lorena there, pressing his own body against hers in order to protect her.

"Death-Eaters ?" she asked in a whisper.

"Yes… How do you know that ?"

"I'm a contact telepath, Draco. I picked it up from your mind."

He had forgotten that. She could act so _normal_. "Listen, Lorena, we better stay here for the time being. I promise you I haven't asked them to come down and give me an excuse to take you away with me to some dark alley to snog you." His reply could have sounded funny if not for the circumstances. He stopped, listening intently to the surroundings.

He felt her hand squeezing his arm again. "Draco… there's something else too. I can feel… fear all around. Despair. Unhappiness."

She heard a raspy sound in the distance. The air was cold due to the weather at this time of the day and the year but at this very moment, the cold was different. Icy out of melancholy. "Dementors," she whispered to his ear. She got her wand out from her cloak.

"What ? Aren't you…" Draco did not have time to mean she was crazy. He saw the creature progressing towards them in the alley. An intense feeling of sadness and anxiety fell over the two young people as the Dementor was coming closer and closer to them. Draco had his wand out too but Lorena was faster. She grabbed him closer to her as if she was the one to protect him.

"_Expecto Patronum_ !" she cast, summoning all the happy memories she had had with Severus.

A big silvery tiger came out of her wand. On a flick of her wand, it jumped in one feline movement towards the Dementor that disappeared instantly.

"Are you okay ?" Draco asked her.

"Yes…" Lorena replied, releasing her breath. "And you ?"

"Yes. Where did you learn to do that ?"

Lorena was not very keen on telling him that Severus had taught her that charm during Summer. That would look suspicious. "No matter. We're alive. For the moment."

"Yes, you're right," he replied before taking her lips with his. Lorena was so much under the shock of the Dementor and the pursuit and the danger around, that she gave in to his kiss.

Draco was tender and soon, she let him access her tongue. The kiss lasted for long seconds during which Lorena forgot all about Severus, the Dementor, the Death-Eaters, the danger around. Draco could kiss and she had to reckon she enjoyed it. He dragged her closer to him, his hands sliding under her cloak to better grab her body.

"Hey, what do we have here ?" a leering voice sneered.

That voice, Draco recognized it at once. _MacNair !_ He Occluded his mind immediately, remembering that the girl in his arms was a contact telepath. He did not wish the Death-Eater to use Legilimency on him either. Aunt Bellatrix had advised him to do so anytime he was in contact with Death-Eaters. However, Lorena had just had the time to hear the man's name in his mind before the young man raised his mental shields.

"Having fun with a girl here, boy ?" the man went on. Draco assumed that in the dark, the Death-Eater had not recognized him. Not yet. "I'm sure I could use her as well," the man said. "Better than you."

"That remains to be seen," Draco replied coldly. "She's mine. Nobody touches my property."

"Draco Malfoy ? Is that you ?" the Death-Eater asked with surprise in his voice. "Maybe you can help me then. I'm looking for that Mudblood that sullies the House of Slytherin. You surely know whom I'm talking about. A blind girl."

Draco paled. He gathered at once that the man was alluding to Lorena – she was the only Muggle-born in the House of Slytherin actually. All the others were pure-bloods and half-bloods. Fortunately she was in the dark, the hood of her cloak hiding her face. "Why do you want her ?"

"None of your business, young man. Just tell me where I can find the girl !"

_Why does _he_ want her ? Because they are here on _his _bidding._ Hearing these words, Draco made a wall of his body to protect Lorena, at least to prevent her from being recognized. He knew what would happen to her if the Death-Eater was to have his way with her. Or if she was to be brought to the Dark Lord. He just turned his head towards the man. But before he could utter a word, Lorena touched his cheek. "Not a word, Draco. Don't move but get ready," she whispered into his ear.

"_Sectumsempra_ !" she cast wandlessly, in the direction she had heard the Death-Eater talk. It could work or not, depending on her correct assessment of his presence, relying on her acute hearing and extra sensorial perception. A horrible shriek of pain, a thud on the floor informed her that her spell had been successful.

Draco enjoyed the moment of surprise to Disarm his opponent with a deft _Expelliarmus_, jerking the wand away enough from the Death-Eater's hand, so that the man could not hex them in their escape. The young man took Lorena's hand in his. He hugged her firmly against him and in a wink of an eye, they Disapparated.

Draco managed to bring them both back to the castle gates. They ran inside the gates, to the safety of the grounds. He noticed that they were alone and he wondered what had happened to the others. Without giving further thought to the issue, Draco grabbed Lorena's hand in his and they both rushed to the safety of the castle entrance.

* * *

The four Heads of Houses, the Headmaster and Ms Pomfrey had gathered all the students that had been out to Hogsmeade that afternoon into the Great Hall. A few of them had bruises or sprained ankles from running and falling to escape the Death-Eaters. These students were put aside so that Ms Pomfrey could take care of them.

The students were called according to the list established by Argus Filch. Fortunately, all had made it back. Except Draco and Lorena. When he heard that both Draco Malfoy and Lorena Nottingham had not made it back, Severus glanced nervously at Dumbledore. "Headmaster, let me go and check it out, where these two are." He was truly worried.

Hearing the name of Lorena, Severus was surprised. Usually the young woman did not go out of the castle. Not this time obviously. She had gone out to Hogsmeade and had even been attacked ! Various feelings gripped him : _bitterness_ that she had not told him she was to go out to Hogsmeade ; _jealousy_ that she had gone out with Draco Malfoy ; _anxiety_ that she had been surely the reason for the attack ; _anger_ against himself that he had not been there to protect her.

Albus Dumbledore was about to consent to let his Potions Master to go and look for the two Slytherins, when both aforementioned students barged in the Great Hall. Severus' heart made a jump in his chest out of relief. Had he been alone with Draco and Lorena, he would have hugged them. Well, almost.

Then Dumbledore asked the prefects any clues about the identity of the aggressors. As such, Draco stepped forward, still a bit out of breath. "There was one Dementor and one Death-Eater that attacked us, Professor."

"Us ?" the Headmaster asked.

"Yes. Me and Lorena, sir. We had run away in a backside alley to escape the commotion. Fortunately, we managed to get rid of them and Disapparate."

"Thank you, Mr Malfoy. Miss Nottingham, step forward, please," the Headmaster asked. "Now tell us your version."

The other students were surprised. What was the point of asking a _blind_ girl to tell what she had _seen_ ?

"As Draco here said, he dragged me to a dark alley, hoping we could escape the commotion in the main street, Professor. We found shelter there. Draco wanted to Apparate from there but we heard them. First the Dementor…"

"How did you escape the Dementor ?" Minerva McGonagall asked.

"I used the…" Lorena could not tell everyone present that the Potions Master had taught her the charm. However, she suspected that the Transfiguration professor knew the answer beforehand. There was but only one way to get rid of a Dementor. The words remained stuck in her throat. She cringed and turned her head away. Familiar as he was with her body language, Severus could tell she did not wish to talk any longer at this point.

"She cast the Patronus Charm, Professor," Draco replied in her stead.

A deep silence followed his statement. "But that's advanced magic, only taught in seventh year !" the Transfiguration professor exclaimed. "How did she… ? I'd like to see that !"

Draco had the same question in his mind. He thanked McGonagall silently for asking it. Lorena did not wish to expand on that topic. Instead, she raised her wand, giving in to the Head of Gryffindor's request. She mustered all the good memories she had, thinking of the lovely time she had had with Severus at Spinner's End and in the cave. "_Expecto Patronum_ !" A silvery tiger, smaller than the one she had conjured up to fight the Dementor, appeared at the tip of her wand, nudged its head against her legs lovingly like a cat, before fading away.

Various muffled exclamations fused from the student body gathered. Severus' face was still unreadable but inside himself, he was quite proud of her. He knew her Patronus was a tiger, without knowing really that he was the trigger behind her Patronus Charm.

He went to her rescue. "We should go on questioning Mr Malfoy about the other attacker he mentioned, Headmaster," he said, hoping to distract everyone from Lorena.

Dumbledore nodded. "Go on, Draco."

"The Dementor was gone, sir. I thought… we could go out to Apparate. Then there was a man that showed up. I recognized his attire. A Death-Eater. He was masked under his hood. I can't say who he was. He was looking for someone in particular."

"Who ?" Severus asked, his tone pressing.

Draco swallowed hard. "He wanted the blind Mudblood that sullies the House of Slytherin !"

"Don't use that word !" Severus said with a dangerous edge in his voice.

"That's how he put it !" Draco protested vehemently. "He wanted to have fun with her ! Sir !"

"Did he say something about the purpose of all this ?" Severus asked coldly.

"No, he didn't, sir."

"And how did you manage to escape him ?" Dumbledore asked. "Death-Eaters are not known to be bested out easily."

"Lorena… used a spell I've never heard before, sir."

"What spell ?" Severus asked, his dark gaze narrowing on the young woman. He was ready to bet on what it was. At least, it was not the _Avada Kedavra_.

Lorena flinched. She did not wish to reveal that she had used a spell the Potions Master had taught her and had expressly told her not to use without a real good reason. _'For enemies only'_, she remembered. _Well, that was the case._

"Go ahead, Lorena," Albus encouraged her.

She kept her eyes lowered. "_Sectumsempra_, sir."

Again, the students present murmured between them. They had never heard about such a spell. Dumbledore glanced at Severus that confirmed the Headmaster that indeed, he knew about that spell. The enigmatic look in Albus' eyes informed the Potions Master that he would have to provide him with certain information…

"Then you Apparated, I guess," Dumbledore asked.

"Yes, sir," Draco said.

"Thank you Draco, thank you Lorena. You both did what you had to do."

Dumbledore and the other teachers asked other questions to other students that confirmed to have seen or felt Dementors and two other Death-Eaters too. Then they sent the students back to their respective common rooms.

"Note that due to these events, all visits to Hogsmeade are suspended until further notice," the Headmaster said. "Those who may have bought items to be collected later for their Christmas shopping, have to inform their Heads of House. We'll see how we could sort this out so that they could get them."

Draco took Lorena by the arm and led her out of the Great Hall. Severus followed them with his piercing dark gaze, the pangs of jealousy tightening his heart in his chest like a vise. He should have been the one to escort her out like that ! His staring at Lorena and Draco had not escaped Dumbledore's sharp gaze either.

"Severus, follow me to my office. We have to discuss," he said softly.

* * *

**_I hoped I've kept Draco in character. He's so Slytherin in his approach to problems and challenges. As for Lorena, I suppose she's going to be even more feared than before with the two advanced magic spells she had cast to defend Draco and herself._**

**_A recurring trait of Severus is show here, which is to become more and more important : his possessiveness. _****_Especially with two contenders like Moody and Draco around. More to come, stay tuned !_**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	50. Pick up your poison

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**5****0 – Pick up your poison**

Once in his office, Dumbledore invited his Potions Master to sit down. "I guess you have several explanations to give me, Severus."

"Explanations, Headmaster ?"

"I suppose _you_ taught her the Patronus Charm."

"I did indeed. Last Summer."

"And what about that… _Sectumsempra_ spell, Severus ? That's the first time I hear about it."

Severus remained silent. He was under the impression that the Headmaster's last question was just rhetorical.

"Severus, I know you were quite famous in your student days here to invent all kinds of curses and hexes – not all of them of an innocuous nature by the way. Not to say evil. What are the effects of that spell ?"

Severus sighed deeply. "True I invented that one. True I taught it to Miss Nottingham last Summer too."

"What are the effects of that spell ?" Albus' tone was firm and pressing.

"It gives gushes, lashes and slashes similar to that of a sword."

"Dark magic, Severus ?"

The Potions Master cringed. "Well, it saved them both."

"Indeed. I don't deny that. But this kind of spell can kill. Do you admit it ?"

"I admit it can give nasty wounds to an enemy that would not take prisoners otherwise. When I taught it to Miss Nottingham, I had told her to use it against enemies _only_. She proved wise as she used it against an experienced attacker that was up against her and Mr Malfoy. I won't deny that. Like I said, it saved them both."

"I don't question that, Severus. I trust her judgment…"

"But you don't trust mine !" the Potions Master exclaimed with anger.

"I do, Severus, I do. Your teaching was effective, between that _Sectumsempra_ and the Patronus Charm. It did save their lives indeed." Dumbledore sighed. "However, that puts the _Sectumsempra_ spell in the same category as the Unforgivables. You know what that means." He sighed. "You taught her Dark magic, Severus."

"Dark magic that just saved the life of two of MY students, Albus !"

"Indeed. That brings us to the main issue. Why, in your opinion, would Death-Eaters and Dementors attack a group of students to get at one in particular ? I mean, they don't go out like this just for fun's sake. They were on a mission. A mission Voldemort has given them. We all know that if they want to have fun, torture, rape and kill, they snatch Muggles. Not people of their kind."

Severus took a deep breath. "I don't know, Albus. I agree with your analysis but I don't know. Besides, they consider Muggle-born witches and wizards like mere Muggles. That may explain their actions."

Albus watched his Potions Master carefully. "Severus, you know that this is not the case here. Besides, Lord Voldemort enjoyed physical contact of a very particular nature with one Muggle-born witch not so long ago. He did not consider her then as a mere Muggle, didn't he ?"

Severus cringed at the memory. "I don't know if he enjoyed it. He had to do it to get what he wanted, get her pregnant so that he could perform his blood magic ritual at Beltaine or Lughnasadh next year."

"You were present. You told me that you saw him rape her. We're between men of experience, Severus. I'm sure you could recognize a man that enjoys a woman, whatever the circumstances."

The Headmaster's words were scathing for Severus. He darted a murderous glare at the older wizard. Yes, he had been there. Yes, he had seen everything – not that he was left any choice. Yes, the Dark Lord had enjoyed the girl. His heart tightened in his chest at the memory of _his_ woman being raped by another man, be him his Master.

"Is there something, some information, that could have escaped your careful attention ?" Albus insisted. "Or do you think Voldemort would just act on a whim, unplanned, without informing you first ?"

"I don't know, Albus. I don't understand that part." Severus paused. "There was no hint from the Dark Lord as to this move in particular. Besides, we know that he acts on his own. Alone, yes. Unplanned, no." Another pause. "After he had… raped Miss Nottingham, the Dark Lord asked me to watch over her from then on. I have to report to him early December, to inform him that she got pregnant. Of course…" A pause. "I will tell him she is indeed, which is the truth anyway."

His voice had taken a darker, bitter tone. Albus wondered if his Potions Master had really grown to care for the young woman. And even more than that. He detected that the younger wizard was anxious about her. _He loves her but he doesn't know it yet_, the older wizard thought.

"You will watch over her even closer from now on."

"I will, Headmaster."

"We have to discover what prompted Voldemort to try to get her tonight, as she was the target obviously, from what young Mr Malfoy reported. What is strange is that why Voldemort did not resort to _you_ to get her, like the first time at Halloween. It would have been so much simpler than mobilizing Dementors and Death-Eaters. I'm concerned about your position and safety within his inner circle, Severus."

The Potions Master agreed with Dumbledore's analysis. "I don't think there's ground to get concerned about me, Albus. Not more than the usual level of concern when dealing with the Dark Lord. Nothing happened nor has changed since Halloween. Maybe he wanted only to scare Hogsmeade folks and the wizarding community in general with that attack, the girl being only a pretext. Kind of showing muscle to the Ministry of Magic – and to you by the way – by attacking Hogwarts students."

"Possible, very possible indeed." Dumbledore was not convinced. A gut feeling told him that there was more to it than met the eye. "On my side, I'll come up with a sensible explanation as to today's events and explaining the student body that all visits to Hogsmeade are suspended until further notice. We have to reassure them all and keep watch. Besides, this attack will not go unnoticed and their parents will need to be reassured too. Now, have Miss Nottingham come here, I want to talk to her. Go and fetch her while I'll ask Alastor his advice. An ex-Auror's and Dark wizard hunter's opinion is still useful to hear."

* * *

A few minutes later, Lorena was in the Headmaster's office. Severus had brought her there. She could feel he was angry – he had not even talked to her on their way to the Headmaster's office. He was, he had not liked it at all that she had been to Hogsmeade without even telling him, while he was supposed to protect her, both on Dumbledore's and the Dark Lord's orders. Without mentioning the Unbreakable Vow. Why had she been there with Draco Malfoy, the very boy that had tried to kiss her ? She was _his_, what had gotten into her mind to go to Hogsmeade ? With Draco Malfoy, of all people ? Severus was downright furious, but none of it showed on his face. He had his usual scowl only.

Lorena was no fool. She had perceived her 'almost lover' was angry after her. She had hoped he would know nothing of her escapade to Hogsmeade with Draco. She expected any reaction from him, even a violent one. She was ready, even if this saddened her. Was it her sensitivity as a pregnant woman, but she could not put up any longer with his brutality. She said nothing, bracing herself to take the brunt of the anger he would surely vent out on her first occasion.

They arrived at the Headmaster's office. Alastor Moody was already there, talking to Dumbledore who had filled him in with the details of the attack. Albus invited Lorena to sit down on a chair.

"Now, Lorena, you know that Professor Moody is a former Auror. He can help us on this case. You will tell him what happened," Albus asked her.

She nodded and told the story again. Her version was identical as that of Malfoy's. With one different detail though.

"Draco recognized the Death-Eater."

"What do you mean ?" Albus asked.

"Well… He _believed_ he recognized him. I was in physical contact with him when I picked up the name in his mind just before he shut it out."

"Why didn't he tell us that before ?" Severus asked, barely hiding his anger towards Draco. Lorena knew better : she was sure he was angry after the young Slytherin because of his going out with her, more than for anything else.

"Maybe it was just a guess from him, we cannot be sure. He wasn't sure in his mind, I could feel it. So I won't assert it either."

"What was the name of the Death-Eater ?" Moody asked, his magical eye trained on her, trying to detect something in her. He knew she could not see him. A long habit though. He had just realized that she was a contact telepath.

She hesitated. "His name," Alastor insisted gently yet firmly.

She swallowed. "MacNair," she whispered. "I heard 'MacNair' in Draco's mind."

The three men looked at each other. Lorena remained quiet, unsure.

"I need to check something," Albus said. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Once he was gone, Severus grabbed Lorena's arm so that she could stand up, facing him. He had not been satisfied by her answers, not thoroughly. There was still something he wanted to know. He had Occluded his mind so Lorena could not perceive his thoughts. She could only feel his anger. She kept her cold-blood and self-control, Occluding her mind as much as possible.

"Moody, help me with her. There are things I need to know and that only Legilimency can tell us," the Potions Master said with a cold tone.

"You really want to do this, Snape ?" the ex-Auror said.

"Circumstances… compel us to do so," he replied with a silky voice that announced danger. "Hold her arms tight behind her, I don't want to fight while I use Legilimency on her."

Lorena did not even have the time to panic or protest. She felt her arms being held firmly tight in her back by Moody's iron grip, then two hands cupping her face, burning hands that had caressed her, given her pleasure. She raised her mental shields to their maximum quickly. Yet, imprisoned between the two men as such, feeling Moody's breath on her neck, perceiving how close Severus was to her, it reminded her of the Halloween night, when she had been in a similar situation, pressed between the Potions Master and the Dark Lord.

"No !" she protested. "No…" She let out a shriek when Severus penetrated her mind forcefully, like he had penetrated her body about three months ago, when he had raped her. Once more, she felt violated by him and let out a painful moan.

He was going through her recent memories. Lorena knew there was one thing that could help her overcome this. She tapped in her elemental magic. She sent him a powerful love wave, managing eventually to break through the barrier of his own mind, slipping in the crack thus opened thanks to their bond. For a second or two, she felt him relenting, surely taken aback by the force of the feelings she had opposed to him.

The few split seconds thus earned had been enough. She perceived his very intention. He was looking for a particular memory. If she had had a more intimate contact with Draco Malfoy on that afternoon – or not. She began to writhe between Alastor's arms, trying to get rid of his grip on her, feeling the need to get away. That was private.

"Let me go ! Let me go !" The grip on her arms tightened, she even felt that Moody was clasping her wrists with one hand, while his other arm rounded her waist. Feeling a powerful arm around her belly, Lorena panicked for her baby. The image she had of Alan, her unborn son, sprang up to her mind. She decided to use it against the powerful Legilimens now plundering each corner of her mind. Severus saw a little boy with dark, lanky hair, dark eyes, a smile on his toddler face, maybe aged one or two. His father's spitting image, except for the nose and the smile of course. Lorena's nose, mouth and smile. Alan was his mother and father wrapped into one beautiful package.

Severus did not care at this point. He poured all his anger onto her mind to force her memories out. Then he saw it. Draco kissing Lorena with passion. Lorena replying to him beautifully. Severus unleashed his anger in her then. The young woman let out a painful scream that filled the office, trying to send love wave upon love wave to counter his violence. The same scream she had uttered when he had raped her in his bedroom…

"Enough ! Enough, Severus ! What are you doing to her ?" said a deep voice Lorena did not identify at once. She was crying, her empty pale gray eyes filled with sadness, pain and fear.

Severus was startled and he severed the connection with Lorena's mind at once. "Just checking memories using Legilimency, Headmaster. Searching for clues." He sustained Albus' gaze on him with a cold confidence, like he did with the Dark Lord.

Albus came to them to separate the girl from the two men. "Alastor, you could have done something to prevent that !"

"Snape has a point here, Albus. We had to make sure that we have all the details possible. I'd even recommend we do the same with young Mr Malfoy." Though it would be less enjoyable. Besides, Alastor Moody had learned something interesting concerning the girl he had just held in his arms…

"All the same ! I won't tolerate brutality on students ! You know it, Severus ! These methods of yours…" He refrained from saying that his Potions Master had methods worthy of a Death-Eater, if not of the Dark Lord himself. _Well, he is one of the most prominent Death-Eaters. No thanks to me._ "We may ask Draco only, and I say _only_ if he consents to this." He made Lorena sit on the nearby chair. She was still crying, her face in her hands. He looked at her. _Poor girl ! Used, raped, attacked, used again. I wonder if I'm so good a match-maker finally. Severus is way too much brutal with her. He has spent too much time with Voldemort and the evil man has managed to rub off some of his dark and sick personality on him._

"Alastor, get her back to her common room, please," Albus ordered, his steely blue eyes still flaring with anger. Once the young woman and the ex-Auror have left, the Headmaster shot a cold glare to his Potions Master. "Severus, sit down." His tone was icy, which was far worse than angry. The younger wizard complied.

"Severus, what possessed you to act like this ? With a student, a young woman, pregnant, already traumatized by way too many things this term ? Care to explain ?" He was angry and his tone was even bordering despise.

The Potions Master remained silent a few seconds, glaring at the Headmaster. "Albus. We need information. Legilimency is a way like another to get it. A powerful and surefire way."

"I know that, Severus. For you Slytherins, the ends justify the means. However, your methods of…"

Severus ended the sentence for him. "My methods of Death-Eater ? Is that what you wanted to say, Albus ?" He was angry too – and not only against Lorena and Draco now.

"Yes," conceded the old wizard. "Exactly ! Let me tell you they are highly questionable !" He sighed deeply. He was still furious.

"You don't question them as much when you do not hesitate a single second to resort to the same methods, sending me in harm's way," Severus retorted with an icy growl. "Has it ever crossed your brilliant mind that I may not want to do this anymore ?" Revolt could be perceived in his voice.

"You agreed, Severus ! While she didn't !" He took a deep breath. "I know what Voldemort makes you endure, Severus," he said with a cold tone, mixed with a hint of compassion.

"No, you don't ! You have no idea ! None ! And let me tell you one thing, Headmaster. I'm still a Death-Eater indeed. On your orders !"

"I won't tolerate that behavior when it comes to our students though," Albus went on, unfazed by the interruption.

"Once again, you didn't mind that I deflowered a 17-year-old student girl by the way," Severus replied with a vicious snarl. "That kind of behavior did not shock you then !"

"Because I knew you'd do everything in your power to ask for her consent first, Severus ! Voldemort has not this kind of decency and you know it."

"She could have said 'no' to me. I would have done it anyway, and you know it and why. You know it and why because we _both_ know that in any case, she could not fall pure into the Dark Lord's hands !" His voice had become low, a deep growl, each word detached for further emphasis. "She could have said 'no' to me. You know what that means." _Me raping her, like a good Death-Eater respecting the old ways would have done._

It seemed to clinch the argument once and for all. Dumbledore watched his Potions Master. There was horror mixed with understanding in his eyes. Severus would have been ready to take the virgin girl by force. The younger wizard was right : it would have been a necessity then to do so, Albus realized that. As for Severus… he was already past this stage : he had already raped her, and she was already pregnant then…

"All the same. That she had been consenting to surrender you her virginity then, doesn't allow you to behave with her the way you just did. Especially now that she's pregnant. A young pregnant woman which happens to be your betrothed. Will you keep on behaving like this once you are married with her, Severus ?"

The Potions Master pondered the question. He could not admit being scolded like a child – even if Albus Dumbledore had filled in the role of the firm yet loving father that his own father had never been, more than once in his life. This thought brought him to his father. Was he like him ? Would he be like his father had been with his mother ? Would little Alan grow up in a family like… like he had, abused and neglected ? He remembered the face of the unborn child as imagined by Lorena. His own face.

"No, I won't, Headmaster. I don't intend on imposing on my child the same fate I did sustain with my own father."

"Good. As we're on the subject, how will you avoid that ?"

"I found a way indeed. She will have my name, and so will my son. She will be provided for materially speaking. But I won't live with her. End of the story."

Albus watched the younger wizard with suspicion. He had doubts about that part. He had noticed the way Severus was watching the young woman, his charcoal eyes smoldering on her, hungrily, possessively. Albus recognized love and desire when he saw it – like the man of experience he was, like the man that knew the soul and heart of people so well as he did.

Albus sighed again, this time out of sadness. No, he was not a good match-maker, contrary to what Minerva could say. "What are the information you found in her mind eventually ?"

"No real images of course. But I heard the sound of the Death-Eater's voice. It was MacNair's indeed. Nothing else of interest." He did not wish to tell Albus that he had seen in her mind the image she had of the kiss she had exchanged with Draco. That was personal, and something he had to work out with her. Because of course, he still wanted her more than ever.

* * *

Alastor Moody was careful when dealing with the contact telepath he had to bring back to her common room. "I'm sorry, Lorena."

"Why did you let him do, Professor ?" she asked with obvious sadness.

"You have to understand how all this is of the utmost importance, Lorena. This is a war we have to win."

She could not reveal everything she had already done and sustained in the battle against Voldemort. "I know," she replied coldly. Then she stopped in her tracks, sobbing. Alastor was moved by her distress.

"Come here. What about a little cup of tea in my office first ? We could talk if you need to."

Lorena did not wish to go back to the Slytherin common room now. Not in her present state of mind. She nodded in agreement and followed him to his office. They were not that far and he invited her in. Quickly, she was sitting on a sofa with a cup of tea in her hand.

Alastor sat beside her, taking her hand in his once she had emptied her cup. She was beautiful and he could not understand how Severus could be so cold-hearted as to treat her like this. The Potions Master was younger a wizard and he should be sensitive to her charm. To her condition.

"You're pregnant." This was a statement.

Lorena turned her head towards him. "How did you… know ?"

"I felt it when I held you close to me earlier, while Snape was using his Legilimency on you. I felt… the baby's movements in your womb."

"You're a very perceiving man, Professor."

"That's what being an Auror is all about. Perception. How many months have you been along ?"

"Four months."

"A boy or a girl ?"

"A boy. He's going to be called… Alan."

Alastor had also noticed the ring on her finger. "Are you married ? How old are you by the way ? You're in sixth year. Sixteen ? Seventeen ?"

"I'm eighteen. I'm just promised to the child's father but… I don't want to marry him any more. He's… he was brutal with me…" She could not say more, lest he may gather who the father might be. _Well, the baby's been conceived during Summer. There's no way to tell it's a teacher._ But she was careful with a man as observing as Alastor Moody.

"You mean… he raped you ?"

She lowered her head. It was true but she could not voice it. It was still too much sad and painful to admit it. She still loved the child's father. It was not entirely fair to Severus as the child had been conceived in lust if not love, between two consenting adults.

"You're very courageous to keep that baby after that ordeal, Lorena. Merlin knows we need magical kids."

_Better let him think that_, she thought. _He may not think that Severus is Alan's father after all. _"Actually, it had not always been like that. I became pregnant at once and our relationship deteriorated quickly when he learned about it. He became… abusive then." That was still the truth.

"Tell me, Lorena, you're promised to a man that had raped you. But suppose you meet another man that would agree to marry you, a man that would cherish you, would you marry that one instead ?"

She turned her head to him. "What do you mean ?"

"Come on, Lorena. You may back off a betrothal if you don't want to marry the man that had raped you, even if he got you pregnant and promised to marry you. If you meet another kind, gentle guy, would you marry him instead of the brutal one, even if he is your child's father ?"

The answer was difficult. Lorena still loved Severus – unconditionally. But the prospect of spending the rest of her life with him, putting up night and day with his brutality, his darkness, his violence, no. She had to think about the child – and herself.

"I suppose I would indeed, Professor." She swallowed. "But who would want a Muggle-born like me, blind, poor, pregnant with another man's child ? I know I don't stand a chance on the marriage market. Besides, I'm aware that it's better to be married in that case, as the wizarding community frowns upon unwed mothers. This is my world, I don't want to leave it. So I will marry him, whether I like it or not. At least, my child will be legitimate and not branded right from scratch in his existence."

"True. However that doesn't mean you have to shackle yourself up with a man that will make you utterly unhappy. I'm sure that there would be scores of wizards ready to have you as their wife. Even with a kid in tow. You're… lovely, intelligent, your magic is powerful. Many wizards are lonely as they think like you do, that they are not worthy a Knut on the marriage market. Other Muggle-borns or even half-bloods, you know."

_Half-bloods… Severus is a half-blood._ "Well, I don't know. Everything happened so fast…" Lorena felt something from the man sitting beside her. Moody had Occluded his mind but there was something in his attitude that prompted her to deepen further the contact telepathy with him.

"You seem to have a great deal of experience in marriage, Professor." She decided to attack. She was a Slytherin after all.

"Unfortunately not, Lorena. I'm a lonely man that would have loved to have a wife of his own. But that life as an Auror, well, fraught with danger…" He stopped.

"I'm sorry, sir," she said softly. "Everyone deserves a chance." _Does Severus deserve a chance too ? Even after what he did to me ?_

"True. Maybe mine's gone already and I didn't seize it. Maybe it's not come yet."

"Maybe." Lorena squeezed his hand. She smiled at him. "Thank you for the tea, Professor. And the talk. I think I can go back to the Slytherin common room now."

"I accompany you back then."

"Oh no, there's no need, Professor !"

"Dumbledore asked me to take you back to the Slytherin common room and I do intend on carrying out his order, young lady !" He played it commanding but Lorena had felt he acted more out of loyalty and care than anything else. "I just want you to promise me one thing, Lorena. Promise me that you'll think about the little conversation we just had."

"I will, Professor."

"Good girl. Let's go now."

* * *

Later in her bed, Lorena thought about the conversation with Professor Moody. The more time passed by, and the less she wanted to marry and live with Severus. He was way too much brutal. She could not cope with him. As if the faint light of his soul had been definitively snuffed out by his evil side. It hurt and saddened her a lot to think like that about him. Yes, like for anybody else, Lorena believed that Severus deserved a chance. Maybe even more than a second chance, considering everything he had to endure in his life. A life that had not been kind at all with him. But she felt she could not give him that chance. She considered herself being no match against his own powerfulness.

Moody was right. Right about marrying another wizard. Marrying someone that would love her. She began to think about the men that had seemed to be interested in her, excluding Severus Snape of course.

Draco Malfoy. He was a pure-blood. His family would never accept her, a Muggle-born, marrying their only son, with an illegitimate child in tow. But she had to reckon he had kissed her so gently. But she did not know him that much after all. She knew Severus Snape far better – and not only from a biblical perspective.

Who else ? Someone like Alastor Moody ? Strong yet sensitive, that could understand her and on whose shoulder she could lean in times of need. But Severus was strong too. She knew how sensitive his soul could be – hence the multiple layers piled over the faint light burning in the deepest recesses of his soul.

Lorena realized that either way her thoughts took, she was still back to one certain Potions Master. _I love you, Severus._ She kissed the Love-Snakes, sending powerful waves of love to them. The previous events of the day must have starved them and she hoped they had not been hurt either.

_I love __Severus. Unconditionally. How could I go past this and marry another man ? Either I marry Severus and he'll be my undoing. Either I marry another man, yet kinder and gentler, but my undying love for Severus will be my undoing. Either I stay single with the baby and the prejudices around me will be my undoing. To me and to Alan._

_Pick up your poison, Lorena… _

* * *

_**For all those out of there who are geniuses and wizards with drawing and photo-manip, please feel free to use my work to spur your imagination - just provide me with the link so that I can admire your work and leave a review for it.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	51. The heart never forgets

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**5****1 – The heart never forgets**

Lorena spent most of her free time thinking about what Professor Moody had told her. Actually, it prevented her from thinking too much about Severus. Well, she still thought about him, but in a different light now. She felt she was at a crossroads, between three choices of life.

The only thing for which she had no choice was her baby. She could feel it move and she showed more. School robes were practical to hide it. She needed to hide her pregnancy. She was aware that some of her housemates were children of Death-Eaters. She knew she had to be careful, not to raise the alarm that would eventually inform the Dark Lord that he was not the man who had impregnated her.

Yet, Lorena could not hide her ring. She dreaded the other girls' reaction at the mention of her marriage. Because she had had to tell them she was married. Better say it now, that her belly did not show yet. Of course, that piece of news was largely commented in the girls' dorms in the Slytherin area.

One person was not happy though. As a prefect, and thanks to Pansy Parkinson's scathing tongue, the news of her marital status had come to Draco's ears. The young man was not happy at all. He had wanted the girl for him. He had even wished to be the first one to bite in the lovely fruit. Not only the girl was no longer a virgin, but she was married. He could not run after her decently any more. To Pansy's greatest delight.

Draco did not make a scene to Lorena though. He just met her nearby the lake, where she had taken her violin to play alone, sitting on the lonely bench under the willow there. The day had been bright. They both talked together. Lorena explained to him that she had promised him nothing. He argued that she had enjoyed his kiss – which she did not deny. She just got carried away in the stress of the moment, and Merlin knew how stressful the moment had been then for them both. Draco remembered too that he had not thanked her for saving his life, owing her a life-debt now. Lorena reminded him that she had saved their both lives and that he had saved them by Apparating them together. She was the one to thank him and owe him a life-debt. They separated deciding they were pretty even. Draco reminded her that they would remain on friendly terms and that she should come to him whenever someone would manhandle her.

Draco left Lorena to go back to the castle. Lorena remained there, resuming her playing the violin. A few minutes later, as she was ending a piece, she heard footsteps nearby. Lowering her instrument and bow, she asked who was there.

"Just me, Lorena," said a growling voice she recognized.

"Professor Moody !" she greeted him with a smile.

"May I sit down with you ?"

"Sure thing. The bench is big enough for us." But she did not play, feeling strange to have an audience she did not know. She loved to play for Severus. Once more, the Potions Master was back into her mind.

"Continue playing, Lorena, please. I heard you, it's lovely."

"Thank you, sir." She played something full of nostalgia for him, the short piece entitled '_Ashokan Farewell_'. Moody enjoyed it immensely, clapping his hands together once she had finished.

"I think I'm going to stop. I've been playing for more than an hour and I feel tired now." She put her instrument in its case. Moody did not insist, he was aware that he may have caught her in a private moment.

"I'm sorry if I intruded. But your music was so nice to hear."

"Professor Dumbledore told me once that music was one of the most powerful magic ever, much more powerful than everything taught at Hogwarts combined."

"Oh. One of the most powerful magic. Are there others ?"

"Yes. He added that love was the other."

"Ah, love." Alastor paused. "Did you think about our little conversation last time, Lorena ?" His tone had become serious.

Lorena did not reply at once. She knew that she could not escape the topic. "I've been thinking about it whenever I had a free moment, Professor," she said in a breath.

"Did it help you considering better outlooks for your life ?"

He seemed decided to resume their conversation where it had been left off. "Yes and no. Let's say I've come up with three options but none of them is satisfying." She reduced her instrument with a spell so that she could put it in her pocket.

"Do you mind if we walk together a bit ? I could bring you back to the castle afterwards if you wish."

"Yes, why not," she agreed.

Alastor took her hand in his. His hand was warm and soft, firm and tender at the same time. Lorena forbade herself to think about Severus' hands. Curiously, Alastor did not put her hand on his arm, he just kept it in his. She said nothing. There was nobody around and she trusted Moody to be vigilant about this. His fingers entangled with hers in his warm hand.

They walked for a few minutes in complete silence. She was blind, he was crippled, so they could not go fast. Moody did not wish to go fast either. They walked along the lake, towards the Forbidden Forest. The frosted snow was cracking under their steps.

Alastor looked around him. His magical eye detected no life around. No sentient life, that is. He stopped and took Lorena's other hand in his too. He had raised his mental barriers, doing every thing in his power not to let any emotion slip outside – to Lorena's telepathy.

But when he stopped, he faced her. "Lorena… there's something I need to tell you. Please… don't go mad at me about that. Just listen to me. I…" He swallowed hard. "Regarding our conversation last time…" He stopped, not knowing how to address the issue.

She squeezed his hands encouragingly. "Yes, Professor ? I'm listening to you. What is it ?"

"When I told you that… that many wizards would be happy… to find someone… someone special… to share something with…" His words got stuck in his throat. The great Alastor 'Mad-Eye' Moody, the most powerful Auror ever, the dreaded Dark wizard hunter, most feared by the Dark Lord and his Death-Eaters, felt like a schoolboy in front of a blind witch aged only 18.

So he did the only thing that crossed his mind. _Take a risk._ He leaned towards her and took her lips with his. Gently, like a small peck.

Lorena was surprised but her face was unreadable. She did not protest. He caressed her cheeks with his both hands, cupping her face, before putting another kiss on her mouth, a bit more insisting this time. As she was not reacting, he continued with a third kiss, nibbling her lips gently. This time, Lorena responded. Her hands grabbed his forearms. Not to repel him though. When he kissed her for the fourth time, her lips parted and he gave her a real lover's kiss, their tongues meeting in a shy, sweet contact.

Moody's passion burst out then. He dragged her against him and kissed her amorously. Like with Draco, Lorena forgot all about Severus for a few seconds. She forgot who the man that kissed her was, that he was a teacher, that she was a student. That she carried the child of another man. He could kiss…

"You're so beautiful, Lorena," Alastor whispered with a raspy voice, once their mouths parted. "I hope I didn't shock you."

"You did surprise me, Professor."

"Was it a nice surprise ?"

She blushed. He expected her to tell him how all this was improper, as he was a teacher and she a student. But after her affair with Severus, Lorena could not decently object. Severus Snape and Alastor Moody were teachers indeed. They were men first. She was still a student indeed. But she was a woman already, of age, soon to be a mother. Definitively no longer a child.

"Professor…"

"Call me Alastor, when we're alone, Lorena. Please."

She smiled. "Alastor… I don't want you to have problems here…"

"I won't have problems, dear. There's nobody around. We're alone." He had spoken with a sensual, raspy voice. His voice was different from that of Severus but it could convey the same emotional tension and thrilling passion. Differently but with the same intensity.

Lorena shivered. She realized that she was alone with a powerful wizard, in a place where nobody could hear her and come to her rescue, with a man that nurtured a strong attraction to her. The only thing that came back to her mind was when she had been in a similar situation, in Severus' bed, on that fateful morning when the Potions Master had taken her against her will. Tears escaped her eyes.

Moody saw it at once. "What's going on, Lorena ?"

She cringed. "I'm… I'm afraid."

"Afraid ? Of what ? I'll be there to protect you. Nobody, not even a Death-Eater or a Dementor, could come here and harm you. Not on my very life."

"I… I wasn't thinking about that, Alastor…"

He watched her face and read pain on it. "Oh, I see. The man that raped you, you were thinking about him, weren't you ?"

It was so easy to deal with a man so perceiving, so sensitive. Severus was perceiving too but he tended to use his perception for his own purposes. Lorena remembered that Moody was a Gryffindor. _Maybe I should have been sorted into Gryffindor after all…_ Another voice in her mind talked to her : _'No, you've been put into Slytherin because that's where you need to be.'_

She nodded to confirm. It dawned on her that whatever relationship she may have in the future with any man, Severus would still be lingering in her mind as a ghost. Not Severus Snape as the caring man of Spinner's End and of the cave ritual. But the brutal, ruthless Severus Snape that had raped her. _When am I going to get over him ? Over this ?_

"Unless you're afraid of me ?"

"Of you ? Oh, no, not at all, no. No."

"You don't have to be afraid of me. I will hurt you never, Lorena. I'm not a man to hurt a woman that way. Do you feel better knowing this ?"

Damn how perceiving he was ! "I'm sorry, Alastor, if I hurt you. I didn't want to offend you."

"That's okay. No offense taken," he said while dabbing her tears with his fingers in a gingerly gesture.

They walked a bit further towards the Forbidden Forest. There were more trees around them now. At one moment, Alastor pushed Lorena against a tree gently. There, he kissed her with passion, his body pressing hers in a very close embrace. He was careful with her belly. He even roamed his hands over it, confessing her he would be happy to have her with the baby, even if it was another man's child.

Lorena felt good with him because he seemed to accept her as she was. She was aware that he was crippled and scarred. But Severus' body counted many scars too, no thanks to the Dark Lord's punishments – only his face had been spared. _Don't think about Severus !_ she scolded herself. She was aware that her blindness was something that Alastor Moody did not care about, on the contrary, for manifest reasons. As for the baby… he had had no kids, he was happy to welcome the one she carried – obviously.

They kept on kissing each other for long minutes, amorously. Draco's kiss had been enjoyable but that had been only a boy's kiss. Now, against her, she could feel a man, not a boy. A man with broad shoulders she could lean on, warm hands that knew their way over a woman's body, that knew how to give pleasure. Hands that were not meant to harm. During the kiss, Alastor had let his guard down, enough for Lorena to sneak a peek in his mind thanks to her contact telepathy. He was not a killer, not a violent man – while Severus…

_I must forget about Severus. I love him but he doesn't love me. I carry his child but he won't care about __the baby. Or me, the way he treats me, brutal as he can be with me._

Care ? Alastor Moody was careful and caring. Every thing in his gestures, even the gruffest, said it all. She moaned when she felt his hand under her skirt, over her thigh, while he was kissing her neck. His touch was firm yet sensual. "Alastor… ooooh…" For the first time since she had been raped by Severus, and later by Voldemort, Lorena felt good between a man's arms. "Alastor… what are you doing to me ?" she purred. She had never thought that she could enjoy being touched by a man again after what Severus and the Dark Lord had done to her.

Alastor looked at her. "True I want you, Lorena. But you've been raped and abused. We'll take our time together. No hurry." He took her lips with his for a passionate kiss. She had felt his hard-on but she had not been afraid. She _knew_ he would not harm her.

_While Severus would have already had his way with me here__, with or without my consent_, she thought with sadness. Then the image of the cave came back forcefully to her mind. The way Severus had taken her, deflowering her skillfully, his hands over her skin, his lips on hers, his huge cock ramming in her body, giving her that pleasure that had made her writhe and scream under him for almost the whole night… Pleasure coming from him. It had been blissful. How could she forget that ?

She knew it would be hard to forget the Potions Master. Maybe if Alastor was as good a lover, she would forget Severus eventually. And maybe forgive him what he had done to her.

_My body may forg__ive him but my heart… The heart never forgets._

Alastor removed himself from her, freeing her from the tree. He grabbed her again in a close, tender embrace. Then Lorena felt something on her ring finger. The Love-Snakes. They were still motionless in their silvery form but inside, they were alive and well. She felt that tickling sensation only when…

… when Severus was not far. Suddenly, it came back to her. The ring reminded her of the Unbreakable Vow Severus had taken with her. He would die if he did not marry her. _I don't want you to die, Severus. I still love you too much for that. Despite everything you did to me, I don't want you to die._

"We should go back to the castle, Alastor," Lorena said softly.

"Yes, you're right. Let's go."

They came back in silence, his hand in hers in a firm yet warm grip, his fingers entangling with her. Moody was so different. Either Severus was distant and cold, either he was passionate to the extreme in his embrace. There was no middle ground with him. His love – or rather his lust – was too much to handle apparently, for both him and Lorena. _Too much love will kill you, Severus. And me too at the same time. _

Maybe things would be more balanced with Moody. Surely. The ex-Auror had temper and sometimes along the same lines as the Potions Master – that is, short. But Alastor controlled his passions in a more human fashion, letting steam off, appearing thus less collected. While Severus was so much in control of himself that he could not let it go. Up to the moment these passions were too much to handle and swept everything on their way – hence his recurrent brutality and bouts of violence. Going very far, too far, as Lorena had already experienced with him.

The Love-Snakes continued to send vibrations, as if Severus was close nearby. _Unless it's because I'm thinking about him right now ?_ The Love-Snakes magic was not always clear to her.

* * *

A dozen yards away, in the forest, a tall, dark figure was observing them from under black robes and cloak. Under these black robes and cloak, a certain Potions Master, standing at the edge of the Forbidden Forest, walking around to collect ingredients. He had heard noise and noticed the couple formed by Lorena and Alastor, by chance. Wand in hand, his body simmered with anger and fury, jealousy and possessiveness burning his heart, sadness and sorrow ravaging his soul. The intensity of his feelings was such that it had reached Lorena's Love-Snakes, waking them up. He was ready to kill. _Too much love will kill you, Lorena. And me too at the same time._

* * *

Severus came back to the castle, his pockets nearly empty of the ingredients he had planned to collect inside the Forbidden Forest. His head was full of the painful memory of seeing another man holding and kissing the woman he began to feel something strong for – though in an unaware fashion. His heart was filled by jealousy and a terrible feeling of loss was dwelling in his soul now.

He remained in his quarters, his gaze lost in the fire cracking there, a glass of PureFire whiskey in his hand. The strong beverage helping, he began to day-dream…

… In the fire, he could see Lorena with him, making love together, the fire matching their own passion and desire, like it had been in the cave. He remembered the dreadful yet lustful moment he had had with her in his bedroom, that morning he had taken her against her will. Delicious brutality… His dark side told him that he had loved every minute of it while the faint light in his soul was weeping over the evil deed he had carried out against the young woman.

He remembered the lovely times they had both spent at Spinner's End, during Summer, how he had loved their closeness, even if they had not become lovers by then yet. She was reading on his lap during evenings, they shared kisses. How good all this had felt then. It had felt _so right_. She had felt so right on his lap, between his arms. He had felt so right to have her in his midst. For the first time in his life, Severus had felt happy forming a couple with a lovely and intelligent woman, sensible and sensitive. They had not shared a bedroom then but it was just so right.

Then he remembered the nasty thoughts he had nurtured when she had fallen asleep on the sofa. _Ready for the taking._ He had day-dreamed he had taken her against her will before reverting to loving sex with her in another scenario of his imagination. She had even begged him to take her then, in his day-dream…

Now she rejected him, she was with another man, keen on doing with that man things she had done with him first. Things she did not want to do with him anymore. Kissing, making love, snogging and shagging…

Severus sighed. If only he could revive the past and make her come back to him… Like they had been at Spinner's End.

Spinner's End… Spinner's End. _Spinner's End !_

Severus had never thought that the place of his gloomy childhood could do magic after all.

* * *

Usually, the Potions Master spent the Christmas break at Hogwarts. Well, this time, he may make an exception. Going back to Spinner's End. Going back there not alone. He had a bit more than a month to get Lorena back to him before the holidays began.

Severus had nothing against Mad-Eye Moody, a fellow member of the Order of the Phoenix, someone he highly respected for his no-nonsense approach, his courage and talents as a great fighter. He admitted that he had many common traits with the ex-Auror. He was just distant with him because of the bad memories Aurors had left him when he had been younger, when he had been arrested just after joining Dumbledore and the Light Side. Moody, as one of the greatest Dark wizard hunters, had been involved in his arrest. The older wizard had still doubts about the reformed Death-Eater. Fortunately for Severus, Dumbledore was there to tell and show everyone distrustful that he trusted Severus and that everyone should. All in all, Severus harbored no hard feelings or animosity against Alastor Moody – he was just cautious and careful. But that could change. Because of one woman.

He knew that he was ahead compared to Moody. He had already got Lorena. He was her child's father. He knew she had strong feelings for him – she loved him, clearly. She would still need him to face the Dark Lord in the future. Last but not least, there was the Unbreakable Vow bonding them together, as well as that life-debt he owed her.

He was aware that Moody had advantages. Severus was not the kind of man to underestimate his rivals. Despite his gruff manners and growling tone, the ex-Auror was someone genuinely kind – which Severus was not. The Potions Master knew that Lorena would be sensitive to that quality, especially after what he had done to her.

"I raped her," Severus admitted aloud. "I raped the woman I…" He swallowed hard. _No, I can't._ The admission was too hard to voice.

There would be harsh competition between the two men over the young woman indeed. Alastor Moody was not a fool – Severus expected a strong reaction from him. The older wizard would put up an honest fight to keep her with him. Severus had felt it, the way Moody had kissed her, he was capable of as much passion as himself was. _Another point in common, I suppose,_ he mused. _Beside our strong taste for the same woman. _

Of course, Severus would be careful to separate School and Order business apart from his private life. Being a spy for two powerful masters had developed certain abilities in him to compartmentalize situations and people. He would do everything in his power to get Lorena back, using all his Slytherin cunning for that purpose. And more, if necessary. Like reporting Moody to the Headmaster about improper relationships between a sixth-year student and the D.A.D.A professor, for example... Severus was sure the Headmaster would back him up, because of the Unbreakable Vow – which had been taken with him, not with Moody. He smirked at the prospect. That would be hypocritical from him, but damn ! he was a Slytherin. All the Gryffindor courage Moody could ever muster would be no match against a Slytherin Potions Master's cunning.

Severus now felt like he was in full Death-Eater mode. He would take no prisoners. He would get her back. At any cost.

* * *

Severus began to think about a battle plan to get Lorena back to him. Well, he could assert his ownership of hers in a direct confrontation with her, stating he had seen her with Moody in a rather intimate position. He could remind her of the Unbreakable Vow, that he had to marry her. That once married to her, he expected that she behaved as a wife to him. He was not the kind of wizard to be complaisant. _I'm not Rodolphus Lestrange !_ he thought, remembering the Death-Eater infamous Lestrange couple. Rodolphus was said to close his eyes on every extra-marital affair his wife Bellatrix came up with – and these were numerous. Especially the affair she was said to entertain with the Dark Lord. _Well, fortunately for me, Lorena is not Bellatrix, thanks Merlin._

All the same. He would not tolerate the young woman, once she was his wife, to have a lover. Even a lover like Alastor Moody. He deemed he was a lover capable enough to keep satisfied any woman. Moreover, Severus had always considered the third condition of the Unbreakable Vow to be the harshest imposed on him : marrying the girl so that she may not end up as an outcast in the wizarding society. Dumbledore had imposed this on him and the Potions Master could not say 'no' to the Headmaster. Long ago, he had promised him to do _anything_ on his bidding. The minimum she could give back to him was not to make him ridiculous by having an extra-marital affair.

For the very first time, Severus saw the thing in a new light. That Unbreakable Vow would prove useful after all… Thanks to it, he would get her back eventually. He knew she would not want him to die, so she would have to let him marry her. _Takes two to tango_, he remembered the old Muggle saying.

Maybe that was the Unbreakable Vow's magic at work. Severus smirked. Surely there was the ritual's magic involved too.

He was no fool. He knew the fight would not be that easy. Lorena had proved to be a tenacious, if not stubborn, witch. All he needed to do was to convince her to come back with him to Spinner's End first. They would be on their own, far from Moody and the School. He was even ready to snatch her and Apparate with her back to his home place, if required. Once there, it would be easier to conquer her all over again.

Severus thought about his battle plan. First, he would do every thing in his power to keep her away from Moody. Being her Head of House, he could find any pretext to fill in her free time. He could even dole out a few detentions if necessary. He knew her time table, that should not be too difficult to implement. He realized this was tantamount to abusing his position as Professor and Head of House, but this was war. After all, the ends justified the means for any Slytherin worthy of that name – and for sure he was one.

Second, he could try to get closer to her. Court her. Convince her he was a good man, he would be a good husband. He had already proved her he was a good lover. It should not be too difficult to help her erase the bad memories of the rape. Well, he could even try to Obliviate that particular memory, even if the memory was quite a few weeks' old already.

He should convince her to follow him to Spinner's End, and spend the Christmas holidays there with him. Yes, he would do that first and once there, she would be at his mercy. No competition around. His home place was not unplottable but it was heavily warded. Severus believed that after Hogwarts, Gringotts and the Order's Headquarters, his house was one of the most protected places in all wizarding Britain.

His mercy. Severus thought about it. His mercy, not for him to abuse her. His mercy for him to court and seduce her freely. _And make her mine again._

* * *

**_Oh oh, things are getting complicated, with Moody entering directly in competition with Severus about Lorena. What would be the outcome ? _**_**Severus is on the war path, beware !**_

_**The title of the chapter,**_** "The heart never forgets"**_**, is the title of one of my favorite songs by LeAnne Rimes - which I think suits Lorena's mind. I'm not sure she will be able to make up her mind at this stage.**_

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	52. The lord of the rings

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**5****2 – The lord of the rings**

Lorena and Moody met again later during the following week, this time in his office. He had invited her to play music there, as now the weather was very bad. It had snowed for almost three days without discontinuing, making any going out nearly impossible. Even going to Hagrid's hut – where the young woman knew she could play – had proved to be risky a venture. Only Hagrid dared to walk the way between his place and the castle. Lorena had accepted Moody's offer graciously.

There she was, sitting in his sofa, playing the violin, for his pleasure and hers. Yet, she had not played the _Adagio for Strings_, the piece she and Severus loved above all others. It was _their_ piece, it belonged only to them. After almost one hour of playing, she stopped. Alastor came to sit with her in the sofa. Soon, his arm rounded her shoulders. He dragged her to him. Quickly, they kissed each other amorously. With a flick of his hand, the door was locked and a silencing charm fell over the room.

Lorena had felt the magic leaving him. She broke the kiss. "Will you keep me as your prisoner, Alastor ?" she asked with humor.

"Yes…" he growled before capturing her mouth again. "You cannot imagine how displeased I would be being interrupted _now_." Now his lips left a trail of fire on her neck, while one of his hands roamed over her belly while the other lost itself on her back.

Moody broke the kiss. "Come here… on my lap," he said with a raspy voice where desire could be heard. Lorena complied and soon, she found herself in Alastor's arms, on his lap. She could feel his hard-on, rock-hard now. They resumed kissing. Alastor could kiss, he was even hungry. One of his hands supported her back while the other was now under her dress, roaming over her legs.

Lorena straightened in her position. Without taking care, her legs opened while she leaned on him, her hands on his broad shoulders, kissing him with delight. She felt his hand on her legs going up higher, on her thighs, burning.

"Oh Merlin… you wear stockings…" she heard him whisper between two kisses. "My love goddess… that's sexy…" Now his hand was higher than the stocking, directly on her skin. She moaned in the kiss when she felt his hot hand there.

Suddenly, an image sprang to her mind. A very precise memory actually. Spinner's End. The sitting-room. She was sitting on Severus' lap. He was reading a poetry book to her while she kissed him gently on his neck and jawline. After a moment, he had begged her to stop otherwise he would not be able to remain in control of himself. She had stopped and smiled at him, a challenging smile on her face. Severus had taken her mouth then with passion, one of his hands had lost itself between her thighs…

The memory had come back so powerfully to her mind that Lorena broke the kiss abruptly. Moody felt the change in her attitude, without knowing why. Lorena did not take the risk of Legilimency – she Occluded her mind at once.

"I'm sorry, Lorena… maybe I shouldn't have… gone up that far…"

"No, no, that's okay, Alastor…" She was unsure though. She wanted to raise from his lap but all she managed to do was to sit there. Alastor had his both hands on her waist now, grabbing her firmly. Now she could feel his hard maleness exactly under her womanhood. It promised to be huge too… The sensation reminded her of a similar scene, once again in Spinner's End. Lorena had been sitting on Severus' lap again, for their usual evening reading. He had held her firmly by the hips, positioning her on his hard-on, so that she could feel it where it should be felt… She had been still a virgin then but Lorena remembered how excitingly delicious though elusive the sensation had been… She had even refrained from asking Severus to take her right now in his sitting-room. Oh, how enjoyable it had been !

The two memories took the best of her. "I think I should leave, Alastor," she simply said. "Otherwise, the whole Slytherin House will wonder where I am and send for a search party throughout the castle." _Severus leading the party of course_, she thought. _He'd give me hell if he finds me here. With another man. Not for academic purposes._

Moody released her regretfully. He had his mind in check but for a split second, she had felt his thoughts through her contact telepathy. He wanted her badly. He was not sure whether he could remain in control of himself, nor for how long. He wanted to get pleasure from her and give her all he could, all he had.

As pleased and moved by the discovery as she was, Lorena could not help thinking about Severus. It was like a possession. She was possessed, bewitched, ensnared by the Potions Master, even from a distance. How could this happen ? How come the man that had raped her could do that to her ? She realized that the two memories that had flashed back into her mind, had been very pleasant memories. Memories that fueled her Patronus, when needed. Not memories belonging to the Dark side of him. _All the same. What kind of man are you, Severus ?_

"I'm sorry, Lorena. I didn't want to frighten you."

"You didn't, Alastor. It's just that…"

"Tell me then."

She looked nervous suddenly. "That's something I cannot tell !" she replied a bit briskly. She took her instrument and walked to the door. He joined her there and lifted the wards.

"Let me accompany you back to the Slytherin common room then."

"No, I don't think this is a good idea."

He knew what she meant. He was not even her teacher. Her D.A.D.A. teacher was Professor Snape. Besides, Lorena did not wish to meet Severus in the corridors, with Alastor Moody tagging along. Aware how nastily jealous, possessive and violent the Potions Master could be, she would be in for a rough ride back to Slytherin. _No need to rile him up any further than he is already._

"I'll find my way back there. I'm very familiar with the castle and there's always someone out there, living or ghost, to help me out if needed."

Moody said nothing, he just nodded. Realizing she could not see him, he caressed her cheek a last time. "Yes, okay then, you're safe here anyway."

She returned the caress, with a smile. "Thank you, Alastor, for being so nice with me, allowing me to play here." She put a delicate kiss on his mouth.

"Go away," he rasped. "Go away before I keep you prisoner here _definitively_." _And make you mine._ He opened the door for her. She left the office. His gaze was trained on her up to the moment she disappeared behind a corner in the corridor.

Moody closed the door. His male flesh raged hard in his trousers. True, he wanted her like mad. Despite his will not to rush up matters with her, because of her condition and past history, he felt it harder and harder to remain in control of his own desire. _Pfff… Besides 'Mad-Eye', I may just be called 'Mad-Cock'_, he thought derisively, looking at the bulge in his trousers. _Fortunately, she's blind._ Then he realized that the way she had sit on his lap, surely it had not escaped her attention. She was no fool. She was no longer a virgin.

_How stupid I could be ! How could I do something like that, after what had happened to her ? Here's a girl that had been raped and all you make her feel is your throbbing cock ?__ You fool !_

Moody was angry after himself. He hoped he had not scared her off. He wanted her like mad but not at her expense. He wanted to show her how much enjoyable sex was.

* * *

Lorena found her way back to the Slytherin common room without any trouble. The only problem now dwelling in her mind regarded a certain Potions Master.

_What am I going to do with him ? I can't spend my whole life being reminded of him every time I'm __with another man !_

She reached her bed and without a look for the dorm, she laid herself on it, closing the curtains with a swift move of her hand.

_But __do I really want to be with another man than… than Severus ?_ She let her train of thoughts brought her where needed, following her intuition. True she felt good with Alastor Moody. He was caring, attentive, funny to be with. Very protective too – not so differently from Severus. _Ah, again ! _she caught herself.

Lorena decided to calm down. _Breathe. In. Out. In. Out._ Her hands roamed over the belly. _Alan. My son. Our son._ Severus' image sprang into her mind. Tears began to well up in her eyes. Why was he so insisting on her ?

She brought the ring he had gave her to her lips. A aching sensation churned at her. She could feel the Love-Snakes on her lips. _Oh, somebody help me !_ she prayed. A tickling sensation emanated from her ring, followed by a slight hissing sound only an acute hearing such as hers could perceive. She brought the ring to her ear. The Love-Snakes were crying. She panicked, thinking they were dying. _No ! I won't let them die !_ She sent them a powerful love wave. In return, the connection in her mind with the Love-Snakes made her understood that they were crying not because they were not fed with love. They had plenty of it. They were crying because they were not fed with a particular love. Her love for Severus. She did not let it flow freely outside herself.

_Yes, I love him but… but __he's too much for me to handle now. I can't handle _him_. I can't handle his brutality, his violence. Above all when it is directed at me._

Suddenly, Lorena realized that the ring was enchanted somehow, an enchantment that tied it to the other ring worn by Severus. An enchantment that tied her to him. The gift of the ring made sense now. _As if the Unbreakable Vow was not enough, he has to tie me to him through this… device !_ Lorena contemplated getting rid of the ring but the notion that it would kill the innocent Love-Snakes then revolted her. No, she would not do that. She would keep on wearing the ring for the tiny creatures' sake – whatever happened between her and Severus.

She remembered what Severus had told her about the rings. It would be weird to have only one spouse wearing a Love-Snakes ring. Both had to. Yes, that was most likely the truth. Now her Love-Snakes were in bad shape because of that. Feeling, sending love was not enough. The Love-Snakes required to be fed with the love felt for the person that was the recipient of the other Love-Snakes ring. _Severus_.

An intense feeling of panic overwhelmed her. Lorena was really bound to Severus. In more than one way. She racked her brain to remember all the details of the Unbreakable Vow – even the tiniest. She played the scene again in her mind. Yes, she remembered having sent two love waves at the rings, one for each. That had most likely sealed the enchantment – and her fate.

Most ironically, she may have been the one to have placed the enchantment on the rings…

She gasped at the implications. She was tied up to Severus Snape. One of the most powerful wizards of the time. Notorious Death-Eater. Double-agent for both the Dark Lord and Albus Dumbledore. A violent man that had not hesitated a single second to rape her out of passion for her. A man that had accepted to take great risks to spare her a horrendous fate with the Dark Lord, by taking her virginity beforehand. He had deflowered her skillfully, giving her utmost pleasure. A man that had suffered so much already, and that was not likely to end now, knowing the Dark Lord's plans for the future. There would be more sacrifices waiting for Severus Snape to make…

_Wait. Stop._ Lorena tried to regain control of her train of thoughts. She focused on the rational part of her mind, hoping to leave aside her emotions. She reflected upon the way the Love-Snakes magic operated. _Two rings. Two people. A couple. The magic must work in both ways. From me to him indeed. But from him to me too. It cannot be one-sided, otherwise, his own Love-Snakes may die. So how does he feed them ? Does that means he feel something for me ?_

She had to admit that she had never considered things from that perspective. From a logical point of view, according to the Love-Snakes' magic, Severus had to feel something for her in order to feed his own Love-Snakes. _Unless he had enchanted the rings so that they both could be fed with only my love ?_ Knowing the man's magical abilities, that could not be ruled out. At the same time, he was so much used to hide things from others, that he may have hid his own feelings somewhere further deep in his mind than the hidden recess where she had found the faint light of his soul… One could not be sure with a man as complex as Severus Snape.

She sat on her bed, her legs crossed under her, her eyes closed in deep meditation. _I may try to enter into contact with him from a distance._ Her right hand clasped her left hand, ensuring her ring be surrounded by her palm. Usually, she needed physical contact to touch someone's mind. This was the first time she would do so without a physical contact. But the Love-Snakes would be here to compensate. _If a part of him is contained in that ring, surely a part of me is contained in his. I should be able to contact the part of my soul contained in his ring, while he could contact his own contained in mine._

That was worth trying. She focused on him, on his image. A strange quiet invaded her soul. _I can do it._ She felt the tickling on her ring finger. Her mind wandered. _Severus… Severus… Severus…_

* * *

Severus was in his potions lab, checking the vials left by the fourth-year students for the assignment he had given them earlier, for further grading. Most of them were below standards. That set him in a foul mood. Wondering what he was doing here teaching them dunderheads set him in an even fouler mood.

Not that he had not been before. He had been in a foul mood since the moment he had seen Lorena being kissed by Moody nearby the Forbidden Forest. He had thought first that the ex-Auror was abusing her, enjoying his teacher authority and her disability, to have a good time with her. He had been ready to fly to her rescue when he had noticed that she enjoyed the kisses Alastor was giving her. That had stopped him dead in his tracks.

By the moment he had reached the castle, Severus was in a perfect killing mood. Fortunately, he had met nobody, student or staff. He would have been ready to hex them on the spot. How could she do that to him ?

_That's easy to understand. Mad-Eye is nice with her while you… you… you raped the woman you__..._ He could voice his action in his mind clearly, but not his feelings.

Now in his lab, he felt a tickling sensation on his chest. He rubbed the spot there under his garments. But the sensation was still there, persisting. _The ring._ He discarded the thought up to the moment when the tickling became too much unbearable to be neglected.

He put down the vial he had in hand. He began to retrieve the chain holding his own ring from under his garments. The tickling sensation left his chest but once the ring was in his hand, it was there again, tickling his palm.

Severus was aware of the magic animating Love-Snakes. Yet, he could not gather what was happening now. The image of Lorena sprang into his mind. A searing pain stabbed his heart.

The young woman's image persisted in his mind, even blinding him. He had to lean against the table. His breathing was ragged now. She seemed to look at him with a sad look in her eyes, on her face, almost reproachful. He even heard her call him. _Severus… Severus… Severus…_

_Am I going mad ?_ He tried to block her from his mind, Occluding it as much as possible. But she was still there. Out of reflex, he threw the chain and the ring away on the table, breaking the contact. Her image disappeared at once. He sighed deeply, catching his breath, regaining control over his mind, from the violent emotion he had felt.

_But was it really an emotion ?_ He drew his wand out and with a Levitation charm, he brought the chain up into the air, the ring hanging at the bottom, at his eyes level, for a closer examination. He checked it, his gaze suspicious on it, for any traces of curse or Dark magic or whatever. Of course, he found none. He knew it as he had been the one to buy them from a trusted source and enchant them afterwards. He wondered if the enchantment he had cast on the two rings had now escaped him somehow. Knowing the girl's magical abilities, that could not be ruled out.

Clearly, there was something in the Love-Snakes magic he had not grasped entirely. He would have to come back to the place where he had gotten them. Maybe they would help.

* * *

Lorena's eyes fluttered open suddenly. The connection had been severed somehow. Because there had been a connection of some sort. She was sure of that. She had felt surprise, pain, anger. Further deep, another feeling, weak, trying to survive in the maelstrom of more intense feelings. Passion. Love. Love with a strong tint of regret or remorse, that was not very clear however.

_How can it be ? How can he feel__… love ? I mean, he had told me that he would not feel love for me. Never. He had told me that my own feelings would be unrequited._

Lorena did not understand. She did not know much about the magic operating in Love-Snakes. There was only one way to know more. Time for action. She opened the curtains of her bed. She heard noise in the common room. Apparently, it was time for dinner. She would not lose time in the Great Hall though, rushing her meal in as quick as possible. She knew exactly where she would spent her evening.

At the library.

* * *

**_OK, I agree, the pun for this chapter title was easy - it had been too tempting though. Who's the lord of the ring here though ? Severus or Lorena ? The one that gave the rings or the one that received them ? Any idea, dear readers ?_**

**_There's a slight allusion to Horcruxes too... find it._**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	53. Searching and finding

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**5****3 – Searching and finding**

Lorena had her usual seat at the closest end of the Slytherin table, so that the staff at the high table could see her – especially the Potions Master. That meant that she would have to cross the whole place to go to the library. That meant that Professor Snape, as well as the other teachers, would see her go out before everyone else.

_I don't care. I need to know._ Lorena could not imagine going to Professor Snape directly and asking him questions about the very ring he had given her. He was surely aware of the power of the Love-Snakes but she would feel ready to confront him and get answers from him, if at least, she had a minimum information and knowledge in hand to do so. The urge to know was too strong. She had to move on.

The library was deserted as everyone was downstairs having dinner. She had spent so much time in the library over her five years at Hogwarts that she knew the way there and its layout by heart. Wand in hand, Lorena went to the shelf where she thought she could find information. After a few minutes spent searching, and finding nothing, she thought that this kind of knowledge was not to be stored in the free access part of the library. That left only one option for the next step.

The Restricted Section.

_What if these Love-Snakes were… __Dark magic ?_ Then information about them would be stored in the Restricted Section indeed – if any. _Worth a try._ Lorena stood in front of the door leading to the Restricted Section. She could feel it was warded. She paused a second or two. If she used magic to disable the wards, it would trigger off alarms. _Non-magical stuff should do it_, she thought. She lifted her hand in front of her and concentrated on her psychokinetic abilities.

It took her several minutes to summon and channel powerful energies, then send them off to the door to disable the wards without triggering off the alarms. When she heard the door open, she was on her knees, her other hand on her heart, trying to catch her breath. But she had succeeded, the door was open now. She scrambled to her feet and entered the Restricted Section.

Lorena used her extra sensorial perception to get a layout of that part of the library. She ran her wand on the books stored there. _Yod Legimeo… Yod Legimeo… _

She soon arrived to a part of the shelves where strange books were stored. Books about Dark magic and creatures of all sorts. Others about magical creatures to be used in potions. She remembered what Severus had said about the Love-Snakes, they could be used as ingredients for particular potions. She cringed at the idea : she could not imagine lovely, tiny, almost sentient creatures such as Love-Snakes being so crudely and cruelly used. She took the book and searched the index. There was an entry about 'Love-Snakes' indeed.

_Excellent._ It sent her back to the page dealing with Love-Snakes. The content was strictly potion-oriented. Not very useful from her point of view. However, there was a footnote that sent back to another book : _The Interaction between the Mind and Magical Creatures : Love-Snakes : A Case Study. By Theodorus Van Gelder, Potions Master, from the Royal Academy of Witchcraft and Wizardry of The Netherlands, 1864._

Lorena smiled. She had the feeling that she had hit home somehow. Now she had to find the book, hoping it would be there at Hogwarts. At least, she had the name of the author and the title of his work. She ran her wand through the books. Another subject of relief : Love-Snakes did not seem to be part of Dark magic. Moreover, they had been studied by a Potions Master. Someone like Severus. She pocketed the book inside her school robe, hoping to note down everything of interest possible it contained about Love-Snakes.

Lorena had finished checking a big shelf when she felt a tickling on her finger. She stopped, listening with intensity, attentive to the tiniest sounds. _He's there._ She held her breath, a shiver along her spine. No, she would not panic. No way. Being blind, she did not need to have any lights on, not even at the tip of her wand. Maybe, she could just slip herself in the dark. _Maybe he's just in the library, not in the Restricted Section._ Yet, Professor Snape was no fool : he would notice that the wards on the Restricted Section had been disabled. If he noticed the wards had been off, he would come here immediately and check around why.

So far so bad if he met her there. She would confront him unprepared on the matter. The tickling on her finger intensified. Lorena realized that his ring must have surely produced the same effect on him. _Therefore, he knows I'm here. Probably it's even the ring that has given me away. Damn ! _She could not resolve herself to abandon the Love-Snakes here on a shelf either though that had been a logical assumption.

Her acute sense of hearing detected a very slight noise to her right. Beyond the shelf she was checking. Her hand held her wand tightly but she felt weirdly quiet. Maybe if he was behind the shelf, she could made a bee line towards the exit. _Rubbish ! He knows that you are here. Yet he won't catch you with your both hands in the cookie jar._

Lorena moved swiftly towards the exit. She left the dark abode of the shelf. She was a few yards away from the exit when she felt two strong hands gripping her arms tightly. She could not but let out a scream quickly stuffed in her mouth by what she supposed to be a spell. Her tongue stuck to her palate in her mouth.

"So, Miss Nottingham, what are you doing here ? Out for a little walk in the Restricted Section of the library ?" whispered a deep, silky voice, dripping like honey into her ears. A honey that could turn into a dangerous poison though. He had cast a silencing spell on her tongue, so he did not expect her to reply.

Lorena braced herself. She had not planned to find herself between Professor Snape's arms at all. She began to move, her body protesting his embrace. Severus was too strong for her though. Now his arms were around her body. He dragged her towards the far end of the Restricted Section, opposite the exit.

"Don't compel me to bind you !" he said to her, still with his sensual yet dangerous tone.

Lorena panicked. She was afraid that he could do again to her what he had already done.

"No, I won't rape you, Miss Nottingham," he murmured to her ear, picking up her thought from her mind. This time, the dangerous tone had disappeared, replaced by a hint of amused sarcasm in his voice.

_Do you think I'm going to believe you, after what you did to me ?_

"You may believe whatever you wish," he replied to her aloud. Either he used Legilimency or his new contact telepathy abilities. Lorena could not tell. "I know what I'm doing with you."

Once they were at the other end of the Restricted Section, in what Lorena supposed to be a very dark corner, he released her a bit. Suddenly, she felt being pushed against a wall. Her wand escaped her hand magically – Severus had cast the _Expelliarmus_ spell on her non-verbally. The wood made an almost musical sound when falling on the floor. Then, she felt two powerful hands searching her.

"Ah, ah, trying to smuggle books out of the Restricted Section ?" he said with a scornful tone. At the same time, he must have lifted the _Langlock_ spell cast on her as Lorena felt her tongue set free. "Let's see what we have here," he went on, getting the book from under her school robes. "Let's see… 'The Use of Magical Creatures in Potions'. How interesting."

"I don't smuggle books out !"

"So why did you hide it under your robes then ?"

"Because… because I may need my two hands to defend myself against… against…"

"Against what ? Go on !"

"You know what I mean !" She was angry.

She felt the touch of Legilimency in her mind this time. "Against rapists ? Is this how you consider me to be, Miss Nottingham ?" His voice had lowered down to a growling murmur.

Lorena did not reply. She just turned her head away from him – her usual sign she did not wish to answer. "I preferred when you qualified me as your 'almost lover', or your 'hopeless dream', or your 'luckless romance'," he finished with a cruel, wicked tone.

Lorena remained silent, her head still turned away from him. She could feel his warm breath on her cheek. He was coming closer to her. She was surprised that he remembered the few lyrics of that song she had sung once or twice in front of him only. Somehow, it must have touched him a lot that he still remembered the words.

Little Alan chose that moment to manifest himself in his mother's womb. She flinched, a hand on her side, a loud breathing sound escaping her mouth.

Severus' attitude changed dramatically. From wicked to concerned. "Lorena ! Are you alright ?" His free hand slid behind her back to support her.

Through their physical contact, she could feel he was sincere. She turned her head towards him. "Yes… Alan's just… playing, I guess," she whispered.

Their mouths were only a few inches apart. They were alone, in the dark, except for the faint light provided by the moonlight filtering through the windows. The Potions Master closed the distance between them and took possession of her lips. Their kiss intensified quickly, under the rush of their respective feelings for each other. His wand fell to the floor, as well as the book, before he grabbed her by the waist, dragging her against him for a closer embrace.

For long, long seconds, they kept on kissing, sensually, amorously, plundering each other's mouth with passion, tasting each other's tongue with delight, as if their very lives depended on that kiss. A kiss that they had missed to give to each other for too long a time. Lorena's arms rounded his waist, her hands creeping up his back under his black school robe, her belly touching his body so closely that he could feel the baby's movements in the womb too, despite the several layers of of their respective garments.

They parted, in need of air. All the pent-up desire had been there. Was still there. Unquenched despite the outpouring of passion. Severus pushed her against the wall. He wanted to access her body, entirely, to fill her, to feel her. She could feel his arousal grinding against her own body.

"I want you, Lorena. Now !" he said with a raspy voice in which urgency could be heard. Urgency, longing, lust, desire, need. "You can't imagine how much I've missed you holding you like that, feeling your body against mine, kissing you and possessing you like mad !"

"Professor… please… let me go…" Lorena whispered. She had felt her own passion about to take her over. She did not want to give in to him.

Severus did not seem to listen to her. "I need you, Lorena… you're mine… be mine… again !" he growled into her ear. His mouth then kissed her neck, leaving a trail of fire there.

Lorena felt dizzy. He could make her dizzy, like on the very first days of their relationship, at Spinner's End. She let him do for a short moment, her mind a complete mess. This man had the means to bewitch her mind and ensnare her senses. If only he could have been always like that, both gentle and sensual. But he had been brutal and selfish. He had not always been like that though, Lorena had to admit. She had to reckon too that despite how Alastor was with her, gentle, tender, caring, only Severus could appeal to her senses like he was doing now. Truly. Madly. Deeply. Sensually.

Her strong resolve not to give in to him make her come back quickly to reality. They were alone in the far end of the Restricted Section of the library. Nobody around to check on them there for the time being. Most likely nobody to show up to come to her rescue. He was stronger than her, in full possession of his physical and magical abilities. She was disabled, pregnant and weaker. But not without resources.

"Let me go, Professor," Lorena said firmly. "Let me go or…"

"Or what, Lorena ?" There was a hint of mockery in his voice.

"You know what I'm capable of, Professor. Just let me go." Her tone was cold, dead serious. She was alluding to her ability to ignite fires without resorting to magic, with her fingertips only.

"Threatening me, Lorena ? I know what you're capable of, yet I do not take this kind of blackmail from you too gently." He moved away from her, imprisoning her wrists between his nervous hands.

"Nor do I your behavior from you. I know you're not a kind man anyway, sir. You taught me that the hard way just before the term started. Now let me go !" She referred to his raping her.

A dangerous gleam passed in his eyes, which she could not detect of course. However, she felt his anger through their physical contact. His emotion had bubbled inside his mind like a giant wave but Lorena had raised her mental shields and was ready to take the brunt of it. Not that she would be able to deal with the physical aspect of his anger. At least she knew what was at hand and was ready to fight.

Severus knew suddenly what he would do, how all this could fit into his master plan to get her back to him. However tempting that prospect looked like, abusing the young woman he felt something strong for was not the best way to win her back. Besides, she may report him to the Headmaster and that would become serious an issue. "I think you earned yourself a few detentions, Miss Nottingham." The pressure on her wrists increased, to the point she let out a whimper. "You're going to follow me to my office, so that I can see how to fit your detentions into my already very busy schedule."

Lorena better knew than to argue with him. "Just release me, Professor. You're hurting me," she said coldly.

Her cold tone, her defiant stance, the power she could hold over him, all this increased his anger. "Now you come with me !" he barked while picking up their wands and the book that had fallen earlier, with an _Accio_ spell cast silently. He dragged her along the Restricted Section till the exit in a harsh fashion. Lorena knew she was in for a rough ride till the dungeons. She did not resist his pull and tried to follow his stride.

Once out of the Restricted Section, Severus stopped. He reset the wards. "How did you do that ?"

"Do what ?"

"The wards. How did you remove the wards guarding the Restricted Section ?"

"You're hurting me. Release me and I'll tell you. Sir."

"After threats, now blackmail, Miss Nottingham ? Your list of mischiefs for tonight is getting dangerously lengthy."

"My mischiefs, as you put it, are nothing compared to what you intended to do to me in the library, a few minutes ago, Professor. Something you already committed against me by the way." Still referring to his raping her.

"We'll see that once in my office. I'm sure you'll add some other offenses before we arrive there."

Lorena was surprised – he had backed off. Not that his physical pressure on her wrists had lessened. But he had relented about the question he had asked. She knew out of experience that the price to pay for that would be higher in the end. He still had her wrists clasped in his strong hands. He dragged her like this all the way down to the office. They met nobody. Unlike what he had said earlier, there was no other reason for her to aggravate her case. Not that she had wished to, but she could feel through their physical contact, how much angry and lustful he was at the same time. A rather volatile, dangerous combination, especially in a man like Severus Snape.

* * *

**_When Lorena searches, Severus finds ! _**

**_I hope he's still pretty much in character, doling out detentions that way, even to the mother of his child. Tsk tsk tsk... _**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	54. Explanations and detentions

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**5****5 – Explanations and detentions**

Once in his office, Severus pushed Lorena roughly into a seat. He locked the door and cast a silencing spell on the room. The young woman was not all the more reassured but she did not show her fear. He still had her wand with him. Not that she could not defend herself without it but he was a very powerful wizard – she knew she would be no match against him, despite her own abilities.

"Now the matter of your detentions. There were several infringements you committed in one evening, Miss Nottingham, worthy of as many detentions, if not more. You surely tried to make up for all these years you have earned yourself none."

Lorena remained silent, her empty pale gray eyes gazing in front of her, in the void. She looked like waiting patiently for his actions, good or bad. Inside, her mind was racing fast though, despite her quiet demeanor.

"First, how did you disable the Restricted Section wards ?"

"Why do you ask the question ? Why don't you use your Legilimency on me ? You're so keen on doing that ! Raping my mind like you raped my body !"

In a leap, Severus was in front of her, seizing her by her robes, raising her from her chair. She dared provoke him ! "Because… for once, I…" He swallowed hard. His dark eyes stared at her pale eyes. "Because I don't want to brutalize you any more." His mouth was a few inches from hers – he craved for a kiss, like the one he had had in the library a few minutes ago. But he could not let go now.

Lorena felt weird. She perceived something else in him, in his voice, but he controlled it so well that she could not gather what he was up to. She decided to open her mind as much as possible to reach his, taking a great risk herself, but that was worth it in her opinion.

"Now, answer me, Lorena," Severus said softly, almost in a whisper. "Please."

She closed her eyes. "Psychokinetics." A pause. "I knew the alarms would go off if I were to use magic to disable them. Using my other… abilities seemed less risky." She swallowed again, as if looking for her breath to speak. "It took me a great deal of energy to reroute the wards magic somewhere else than onto the Restricted Section door."

"How ? How did you do that ? Technically."

"I don't know. Psychokinetics are not magic. They obey to other laws than magical laws or physics laws. That's something I do naturally. I… I can't explain !"

Severus knew when he could not get more information. He did not press the issue. "Why did you want to access the Restricted Section ? For that book ? The book I found on you ?"

Lorena knew the minute she would talk about the Love-Snakes, the Potions Master would gather the purpose of her research. That she would have understood there was something funny going on with the rings. But she realized he was probably the only person in the whole castle to be able to bring her the answers to her questions. She bit her lower lip. From that gesture, Severus knew she would not reply easily.

He pushed Lorena back onto her chair. "_Accio_ book !" he yelled. The book landed in his open hand. He perused the title. He already had an idea of the matter and he went directly to the table of content. While keeping an eye on the young woman, he flipped the pages to the article describing the Love-Snakes as potion ingredients.

"Don't tell me you wish to use your ring in a potion, Lorena ?" His tone had an almost sad, hurt tone.

She picked it up as such. _He meant it as a gift. He thinks I want to get rid of his gift. Why does he believe that ?_ She realized this was a logical deduction. But why did he sound so hurt then ?

"What do the Love-Snakes mean to _you_, Professor ?"

She felt a surge of anger and despair coming from him.

"I'm the one to ask questions here, not you ! Answer me !"

His abrupt reaction confirmed her impression. _They mean a lot to him._ She took mercy on him. "No, I didn't want to do so. That sounds cruel to me, as I consider them like almost sentient beings. I was looking for information about them. The day you gave me… that ring… you had mentioned that they were used as potion ingredients. I thought this was a good way to start, sir."

"Indeed," he replied coldly. "What prompted you to research about them ?"

_This is it_, she thought. "It appears that… there's a connection between your ring and mine. Between the rings and our minds. I need to know. I must confess… that the ring being a gift from you… I thought…" She stopped, wondering how to tell him without fueling his rage even further.

"Go on !"

She braced herself. "I thought they may be Dark magic, to exert such a power, sir."

"You mean anybody else that would have given you this ring, would not have raised the same suspicions, Miss Nottingham ? Is that what you mean ?" His tone expressed a contained anger, ready to explode.

Lorena took a deep breath. There was no point in arguing. _Either he takes responsibility for that part of himself, or not – but that is not my problem._ "Yes, sir. You're a Dark Arts expert, you're a Death-Eater, you're consorting with the Dark Lord. I had every right to think this was possible Dark magic. Whether you like it or not, this is the truth, the logical truth. Sir. Last but not least, I do not wish to carry or wear something pertaining to Dark magic that could endanger my child. Sir."

Severus had to admit she had a point there. Even two. True, her assumption had been logical. True, Dark magic could affect a fetus' development in the womb. "I suppose your fears in this regard have been lifted."

"Not exactly. There are still many questions pending, sir. This book told me only about one particular use of the Love-Snakes – in potions. Not what I was looking for actually. However, it provided me with a clue."

"And that is ?" Severus was interested – he had his own questions.

"The footnote. Look at the footnote, Professor. My intuition's telling me that I should follow that clue."

Severus looked at the bottom of the page and read the footnote. He nodded, amazed by the young woman's cleverness. _She had managed to find out a sensible clue in a very short time. Unless it was luck ?_

"That is an interesting clue to follow indeed."

Lorena was surprised by his positive comment. _Either he has forgotten what all this is about, enthralled by the academic pursuit and challenge. Either this is not a good clue to follow and he wants to lose me on the track of the Love-Snakes. I can't rule out that possibility, especially if he wishes to retain any control on me through the ring._

"Could you confirm me at least that this is not Dark magic, Professor ?" she asked. "I'd feel better for… for Alan."

Severus looked down at her belly. He could feel her fear. She was not afraid for herself but for her son. _His_ son too.

"Are you afraid of the dark, Miss Nottingham ?"

She gave him the same reply than the one she had given Voldemort when he had asked the same thing. "I live in the dark already, Professor. Why should I be afraid of it ? But I want my son to be protected from this sort of… bad influence."

_She said 'my son' while he__ is my son too._ A lump began to form in his throat. _Does she consider me a bad influence of some sort_ _?_ "No, never fear, Love-Snakes are not Dark magic. On the contrary. Is my word enough for you ?"

Lorena was not convinced. "I'd like to trust you, Professor, but I'd rather favor a confirmation from another source. Too much is at stake."

She clearly alluded to the child. Her distrust was obvious and it infuriated him. "Do you think I'd let you approach, not to say wear, anything more or less related to Dark magic, in your condition ? Do you think you cannot trust me as far as _our_ child is concerned ? Do you think I'm heartless to the point I'll endanger _our_ child willingly ?"

"I was already pregnant when you raped me. I could have lost him then," she replied with an edge in her voice. "You were not that careful then. I'd rather say… it would have arranged you that I lost the baby further to that rape." Anger and sadness could be read on her face. "I know you had the intention. I _perceived_ it. And you know that when I perceive something, you know where it does come from."

Her voice had something suddenly very sure, almost compelling, as if she was speaking from another world, another reality. Her eyes had focused on him, despite their blindness. Severus even wondered if she was not trying to use Legilimency on him. But no, he did not feel the touch of her mind on his. She was in a mode unknown to him. A chilling mode. Almost Dark. _Is there a Dark side to her elemental magic ?_

"Wait for me here then. I'll bring you the proof I'm sincere with you. After that, you could not say such things as you just did." He was hurt, sad and angry at her words – even if he had to reckon they were mostly true.

He came back quickly. He took her hand in his. She soon felt a book in her palm. In her left hand, he put her wand. "Read now."

Lorena tipped the book cover with her wand. "_Yod Legimeo_," she whispered. To her great surprise, the words forming in her mind were those… She gasped.

"You have that book ! The book mentioned in the footnote ! The book I was looking for in the library ! Oh, that's wonderful !" All traces of anger or discontent had suddenly disappeared from her voice.

"Yes, wonderful indeed," he said, pure sarcasm dripping in his voice. "However… I'm not through with you yet. There's still the matter of your detentions to be arranged." He remained silent for a long minute. "You will serve your detentions here, in my office, during all the Saturday afternoons up to the end of the term, that is five of them. Bring your homework. I don't want you to lag behind your work as it is. As for this book, you may read it but only here. During your detentions. Provided you have finished your homework first. I'll see to that, believe me. That should make up for your damaging the wards of the Restricted Section – leaving it unprotected – your entering the said Section without any permission granted, your smuggling out of a book, your cheek and resistance to the teacher that caught you doing all this."

"You manhandled me, Professor !" _Not to say something else._ He had kissed her and she had enjoyed his kiss. As for the wards, they had been restored before they had left the place. They had been there all the time, the Restricted Section had never been left unguarded. That was unfair a motive for detention.

"Silence !" he barked. "Unless you wish me to extend that series of detentions to the next term, Miss Nottingham ?"

Lorena felt bad. Saturday afternoons were the only moments she could share with Alastor Moody. Sundays were for the Order of the Phoenix and other business the ex-Auror may have. Being a Slytherin herself, Lorena suspected at once the Potions Master had set up all this to avoid any contact to take place between Moody and herself. _He framed me up, that's pretty obvious ! Damn. That means he knows what's going on between me and Alastor. Damn again._

"No, sir," she humbly backed off in front of his blatant abuse of authority.

Yet, she perceived something else behind the sarcasm and the punishment. Well, she would have time now to check this out, now that she was compelled to spend all her remaining Saturday afternoons with him. _Five of them. In a row. Wonderful._

"Now, I'll bring you back to your dorm. I don't want to hear about any other mischief from you for the rest of the year. The academic year, that is."

_As if it would bother you_, she thought. _That would provide you with good reasons to dole me out extra detentions._

She let him take her arm to bring her back to her dorm. But this time, his touch was gentle, almost tender and loving. The evening had been eventful but the only thing that came back to her mind now was the passionate kiss they had exchanged in the library.

* * *

_**Severus' scheme falls into place... I wrote that scene thinking of how brutal he had been with Harry during the Occlumency lesson in the **_**Order of the Phoenix**_** movie - I wanted to recreate the same kind of tension in the atmosphere than in the movie.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	55. Crime and punishment

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**5****5 – Crime and punishment**

Early December, on the first Saturday evening of the month, Severus was summoned by the Dark Lord. He knew the reason why. The matter of the young woman's pregnancy. He quickly went to his cabinet in his bedroom, pocketing vials of pain-killing potions and blood-replenishing potions, just in case things would go out of hand. One never knew with Voldemort. Death-Eaters never knew in which mood the Dark Lord was when he summoned them.

Severus made sure that his Love-Snakes ring was safely tucked under his garments. He put on his Death-Eater mask and cloak and Apparated directly from his quarters to wherever the Dark Lord was located, the Dark Mark acting like a portkey.

Once there, he took his bearings. An old house in the countryside. He entered the place. Curiously, it was guarded by only two low-rank Death-Eaters that recognized him and let him go inside.

Voldemort was sitting on a big armchair, on a dais, like a throne. His snake Nagini was coiled at his feet. Bellatrix Lestrange was sitting on the other side of the armchair, her hair petted as if she was a dog. Well, she was a bitch, in Severus' opinion. _The ultimate bitch._ Other Death-Eaters were there too, which he did not recognize under their masks. Only Lucius Malfoy dared appear without his mask, like the Potions Master and Bellatrix. He bowed deeply in front of the Dark Lord, as usual, hiding his thoughts deep down his mind.

"Here I am, Master. How can I be useful to you ?"

"You know perfectly well, Severus, that you had information to give me," replied the cold voice. "About that filthy Mudblood girl."

"She's pregnant, Master. Your plan succeeded."

"But her baby won't be delivered by Beltaine then ?"

Severus had anticipated that question. "No, according to my computations, she should deliver the baby a few days before Lughnasadh. Another magical date, Master."

"I know what and when Lughnasadh is, Severus !" Voldemort hissed. He was in a foul mood, which made Severus even more cautious. "Anyway, you'll bring her to me for Beltaine. Her child won't be born but I don't need it to be alive actually. Only its blood is important…" His red eyes narrowed on his spy. "I trust your medical knowledge to sever the child from her womb yourself, Severus. You have the right Dark spell for that task. Your infamous _Sectumsempra_."

Bellatrix cackled out her sadistic laugh. The task promised to be particularly gruesome. Despite the horrendous prospect, Severus remained unflappable, his face a total blank mask. "Yes, Master, I will. We may even use her blood then for the ritual as it is laden with her 'Earth' magic." His suggestion should give him extra credit in front of the Dark Lord.

"Indeed. An excellent suggestion, Severus. Maybe her filthy Muggle blood could be used in some of your potions ?" The question did not call for any answer. Voldemort broke out into a maniacal laugh, echoed by Bellatrix' laugh, that sent cold shivers down Severus' spine.

The Potions Master bowed again, hoping that he could leave now, having given the information the Dark Lord had wished to know.

"I'm not through with you yet, Severus."

The icy tone in Voldemort's voice warned the Potions Master at once. "Yes, Master ? How can I be of service to you ?"

"Tell me, Severus… You must have heard of that attack in Hogsmeade," the Dark Lord began softly.

"Yes, Master." At this point, Severus knew he was entering an unknown territory. He Occluded even more his mind, already heavily Occluded the second he had set foot in the house.

"A regrettable affair. You see, one of our trusted servants, Walden MacNair, was retrieved seriously wounded and carted off to Azkaban once he was taken care of. Shame."

Severus remained silent. Expressing compassion for a fellow Death-Eater in front of the Dark Lord was not considered a good attitude.

"You must know what had happened then, Severus. I'm sure," Voldemort went on, something ominous in his soft voice. "You don't say a word. Should I gather that you don't know ?" A pause. "Let me tell you then. Three Death-Eaters and two Dementors were sent to Hogsmeade. In order to find a young person that has acquired a priceless value to me. See who I mean, Severus ?"

"Miss Lorena Nottingham," the Potions Master replied softly.

"Yes, that blind, filthy Mudblood indeed ! Her person, or should I say, her womb is of the utmost value to me. You know that."

Bellatrix snorted scornfully. Voldemort's hand petted her hair and she stopped at once.

"Yes, I do, Master."

"Good. If you remember that, then you must remember the order I had given you then, on Halloween night, Severus. You had to keep watch on her, to make sure that nothing happens to her."

"Yes, I do, Master." Severus felt the net closing itself on him slowly, forming a deadly trap.

"Then, she was attacked by a Dementor and a Death-Eater. How come it is Lucius' son, young Draco, that was there to protect her, while it should have been _you_ ?" Now his tone was downright angry.

_So this was the reason behind the attack. To test me._ After all, Albus Dumbledore was not too far off the mark when he had talked about Severus' position in the inner circle being threatened. The Potions Master knew that going into lengthy explanations with the Dark Lord would do no good. He tried nonetheless.

"The girl had not informed me that she was going to Hogsmeade. She's of age, there was nothing to prevent her from doing so. I was not on chaperone duty for that Hogsmeade afternoon. Only the Headmaster decides which staff goes out for this kind of duty." Severus decided to let go the story of Draco defending Lorena, while it had been pretty much the reverse, both the Patronus and the _Sectumsempra_ spells having been cast by the young woman. Draco had just Apparated them back to the safety of the Hogwarts gates.

Voldemort seemed to consider the explanations given by his spy. "Nonetheless. You should have known. You had to keep an eye on her ! You disobeyed my orders, Severus ! You know the punishment." His voice was icy and mad with the anticipated sadism.

Severus braced himself for the Cruciatus Curse to befall on him. He Occluded his mind tighter. "Yes, Master. I accept my punishment for not carrying out your orders faithfully. I promise you that it won't happen again."

"Your promises have no value, Severus. Only your actions will speak forth, not your words. Be this a lesson for you. _Crucio_ !"

He had raised his wand, a sadistic smile on his lips. Severus fell on his knees. Bellatrix' laughter sounded maniacally in the room. He wondered which was the worst punishment, the curse or her laughter. Fortunately, he had developed with time a resilience to the curse. But her laughter… no, nothing could be done against _that_.

Severus endured bravely the various Cruciatus Curses that were cast on him by the Dark Lord and Bellatrix in turns. Voldemort was in a charming mood with her and he could not refuse her one of her favorite games – tormenting Severus Snape, the Half-Blood that had managed to reach such a level of trust from the Dark Lord. Voldemort was angry after him but Bellatrix hated him and therefore her Cruciatus curses were more powerful.

The Potions Master wondered if this would not be only the beginning of a very long and painful night. Then he remembered what Lorena had told him, when he had had to meet the Dark Lord, during Summer : _"Severus, I just gave you a part of my 'Earth' magic. The most powerful one. My… love. Every time you feel you'll lose control, that pain is too much for you to bear or that what the Dark Lord inflicts you will exceed the limits of your endurance, think of how much I feel for you. It'll protect you."_ He could still hear her determined voice then : _"As long as you think about that light in you, you'll live. Because my feelings for you cannot be destroyed – not even by the Dark Lord. Do not forget it."_

So, from behind his mental shields, Severus clang to this memory, focusing on her feelings for him, hoping that they would protect him and the tiny Love-Snakes he wore. But this time, there was something else. Something that he wished to conceal at any cost but that he could not deny any longer. His own feelings for her.

After about fifteen minutes that seemed like an eternity, the curses stopped. Now Severus was lying on the ground, trying to catch his breath and contain his pain as much as he could. He wondered what would come next. _Better not to think about this, on second thoughts_. He checked his Occlumency and to his inner satisfaction, his mental shields had resisted. His body may fail him but his mind could not. That was a luxury he could not afford, that the Order of the Phoenix could not afford. Severus was ready to redirect all his magic to Occlumency, otherwise he would be left exposed to the Dark Lord's Legilimency. So far so bad for his own body but too much was at stake.

They left him like this, believing that he had passed out. The Dark Lord dealt with other business pending, not suspecting that Severus was listening carefully to what was said, recording any tidbits of information that may prove useful to Dumbledore and the Order in his prodigious memory, already processing some of them in his mastermind for future analysis and restitution to the Headmaster.

After about two hours spent like that, Voldemort dismissed everybody. But before leaving, he turned to Severus still lying on the floor. "Rouse him !" he ordered one of the Death-Eaters. "I hope, Severus, that you will remember the lesson this time and keep it in mind that MY orders are to be obeyed whatever the circumstances." His tone was still cold.

Severus braced himself for a last curse – that did not come. "But I, being a merciful Lord, will let you go to pursue the mission I've imparted to you. You were honest enough to give me your explanations while knowing you were at fault. So now be careful with her when it comes to her protection and that of the child she carries. That blind, filthy Mudblood belongs to me now ! I am her Master as much as I am yours." The way these last words had been uttered with an obviously ominous threat, scared Severus. Not for himself but for Lorena.

Severus was dragged outside the house. Once he was sure he was alone, he drank a vial of his pain-killing potion and Apparated back to Hogwarts relatively unscathed, except for the tremors still agitating his body. The night was over with the Dark Lord but not with the Cruciatus.

* * *

That same night, Lorena could not find sleep. A deep feeling of concern, even anxiety, was troubling her mind. She perceived quickly it was in relationship with Severus. She could not know where he was, what he was up to, if he was in danger or pain – or not. So she did the only thing left to her.

She kissed the Love-Snakes and send love wave after love wave, focusing on him, hoping it would help him somehow, whatever trouble he may have found himself in.

She managed to fall asleep at the same time he was back to his quarters, the Love-Snakes on her lips.

* * *

**_Sorry, I know this is a short chapter... Yet, that meeting between Severus and Voldemort will condition what is to come later. _**

**_Voldemort is still his usual ol' cruel self - asking Severus to kill Lorena _****_in the future ! _**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	56. Why do I love you so

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**5****6 – Why do I love you so ?**

Lorena did not have time to advise Alastor that she could not see him any more on Saturday afternoons till the end of the term. He would have the fits but she could not resolve herself sending him a message via a first- or second-year Slytherin student. Messages from teachers to students were respected because of a special seal, but those from students… she did not wish to take the risk of anything discovered if the message were, for example, brought to the Head of the House of Slytherin instead... She could not walk to the Owlery either, the weather being downright horrendous. Hogwarts and Hogsmeade inhabitants could not remember such a weather in November and December, with several inches of snow falling every day. The castle would have been completely isolated from the rest of the world had it not been for the Floo network and Apparition still possible just outside the grounds borders. Owl mail service had even been interrupted for a few days due to the worst blizzard-like conditions striking the area.

Students and staff alike were compelled to remain inside the castle. Quidditch trainings had been suspended and matches postponed. Hagrid and his boarhound Fang were stuck inside their hut. The half-giant had been given the choice to come to the castle by Albus, but he had refused, explaining that some forest creatures in distress may need his assistance. Dumbledore, fearing for his safety, had warned him not to venture out but Hagrid being Hagrid, the warning had been lost on him. He did not wish to be stuck with everybody else in the castle anyway.

Therefore, there was no possible ways for Lorena and Alastor to meet. Except during the weekly dueling sessions. But still, this was class and private conversations could not be entertained – above all not under the all too careful gaze of Professor Snape. Yet, Lorena managed to give a piece of parchment to Moody as he was explaining to her a spell, where she explained she had been given detentions by the Potions Master, to be served on each Saturday afternoon up to the Christmas holidays.

Alastor read it once he was alone in his office. He was not happy but he could not do anything against that. Bargaining the detentions with Snape would have just brought unsolicited questions from the Potions Master. The ex-Auror knew he could not take that risk. He just replied to Lorena a short message, in which he mentioned he was sorry about that and exhorting her to be patient with her Head of House. He had enjoined her not to reply to this message, not even to explain to him the reasons for the detentions. He had ended his message with his usual 'Constant Vigilance !', his motto, which made her smile. For sure she would miss the snogging with him. The message had been delivered to her by a first-year Slytherin that was too much afraid of the ex-Auror to try to open the sealed message and read it.

Lorena endured the classes with Severus with fortitude. He was as cranky as ever, even with her, whether during Potions or D.A.D.A. He had even singled her out during a Potions class – he had set the students on a particular potion before telling her not to start. The potion was said to be dangerous for pregnant women. If some people had doubts about her condition, now they were confirmed. She had managed to keep her condition a secret – now it was all out in the open. The class having students from the four Houses, the news would have hit the four common rooms before the day that Lorena Nottingham of Slytherin was indeed pregnant. Severus had given her an essay to complete instead, making her sit at his own desk while he was checking the students' cauldrons directly on their tables. Everyone raising their eyes could see her there. Lorena had found his maneuver particularly nasty and humiliating.

She dreaded most the moment she had to go to his office for her detentions. She was afraid he would try his luck on her again. True she was still attracted to him. She perceived this was mutual, even stronger in Severus. But to her relief, he did not move against her in this regard. He had checked her homework to do and let her work in his office, on one side of his desk, while he was grading papers on the other side.

From time to time, he watched her carefully, assessing from a distance her progress. She had a lot to do and her disability made her work a bit slower than her schoolmates, due to the different organization she had to set up in order to get things carried out. She had cast upon herself a silencing spell so that she could dictate her special quill the words to appear on her parchments for her essays, without disturbing the other people around – in that case, her Potions professor. Severus had said nothing but had to reckon she was well organized and efficient indeed. _No wonder she has good marks_, he thought.

Once she was done with her homework, it was too late for her to start reading the book about the Love-Snakes, like Severus had promised her she could provided she was done with her own work first. As the detentions ended, she had not even been able to open the book even once, to Severus' delight. The second part of his scheme could start. For the time being, everything was going on as per his plan.

The last Saturday she had to serve her detention coincided with the last day of the term. The train to London would leave on the day after. As without any family, Lorena had to spend Christmas at Hogwarts. She did not mind. This year, things would be different. With two 'almost lovers' around, and practically no students, she was worried about how things were to develop. She did not even know if Alastor were to stay at the castle, without mentioning what Severus had in mind either.

The Potions Master addressed the issue during her last detention. He had sternly lectured her about this, berating her again about her foolish behavior at the library. Yet, nothing had transpired of the incident, Ms Pince had not been told obviously. He had just replaced the book they had both taken from the Restricted Section back into its place.

"I suppose you plan to stay here at Hogwarts, Miss Nottingham ?"

"Yes, Professor. Though…" She stopped in her tracks, lowering her head.

"Yes, go on, Miss Nottingham," he said encouragingly.

"I'd like to visit my father at his jail, sir. I haven't seen him for six months."

There were long seconds of silence. "I can arrange that, if you wish," Severus replied evenly.

Lorena raised up her head. "You would ? Oh, that's really…" She searched the word. "Really gentlemanly of yours, Professor." 'Nice' and 'kind' were not words he would have sanctioned about himself.

"I'm your Head of House. It's my duty to check that this kind of family matters be arranged for the students in need. However…" His eyes lingered on her waist. She was now showing. "How will your father take it that you're pregnant ?"

Lorena swallowed hard. "I… I intended not to tell him, sir."

"But he'll see it."

"Not with a good, thick cloak around me. Have you ever visited a Muggle jail, Professor ? There's no physical contact possible. Only a window between the inmates and their visitors. We sit facing each other and we talk through a phone." She sighed. "I haven't hugged or kissed my father for…" Her voice trailed off. "For ages."

"How long has he been sentenced to ?" Severus asked, interested.

"Five years, sir. And as we're on the subject, he was sentenced because he had stuck up a gas station. Armed robbery. His gun was not even loaded. He needed the cash to pay an impressive bar tab for him and his musicians." She sighed. "I guess it would have been worse if the gun had been loaded."

"Your father is a musician ?" Severus just realized that he knew little about the young woman he felt something strong for. She had not expanded a lot about her family though.

"Yes, sir. He plays in a band when he's not having free board in Her Majesty's correctional facilities." Another sigh. "Don't mistake me. I don't despise him. I love him, he's my father but sometimes, I wonder if I'm not his mother, having to look after him like he was the teenager and me the adult. Especially since my grandma died. She was the only one to have a bit of purchase over him. Now… he's left to his own device. There's nothing I can do for him. Just go and visit him."

"Your grandmother, your father's mother, was the one that taught you Parseltongue, wasn't she ?"

"Yes, sir." Her clipped tone showed that she did not wish to expand on the matter. Severus perceived it and did not press the matter further. There would be other occasions to ask for the old lady's maiden name.

"Almost dinner time, Miss Nottingham. Let me guide you there," Severus suggested when hearing the bell. Lorena nodded, glad that her detention was over, that the term was over. She was tired and hungry.

* * *

Severus led her to the Great Hall. It was not an uncommon sight to see him guiding Lorena in the corridors or to the various locations. Other teachers, especially those whose classes ended just before lunches or dinners did the same. Sometimes, other classmates helped her, Draco Malfoy in particular, even if he was not in the same year and did not follow the same timetable as she. His attitude had completely reversed. He had felt closer to her as he was aware she had saved his life – he still thought he owed her a life-debt. Lorena had noticed that her blindness had prompted helpful people to come to her and had allowed her thus to get to know more people from all the four houses, for her greatest pleasure.

But being led by Severus was a secret delight for her. These were occasions when she knew nothing would happen to her, amidst the groups of students. She still liked his guiding touch. If only he could have been always like that, instead of being violent. She tried not to think about that fateful morning when he had forced himself on her. _What kind of man are you, Severus Snape ? Why do I love you so ?_

He helped her sit at the closer end of the Slytherin table. Everybody was joyful at the prospect of being on holidays and leaving tomorrow back home. The Headmaster gave a few indications as to the way things had to be dealt with, considering the important amount of snow that had fallen lately. Fortunately, the bad weather had gone, but the snow was still there – up to next Spring.

Draco Malfoy decided to sit nearby Lorena – to Severus' displeasure. The Potions Master, from his seat at the High Table, was watching the young man. Unaware of the affair going on between Lorena and Severus, Draco had sought his godfather's advice as to whether it could be appropriate to invite the girl at Malfoy Manor for Christmas. Of course, Severus had strongly disagreed, giving at least four reasons :

1) the girl was a Muggle-born and Narcissa would have the fits ;  
2) the girl was a Muggle-born and Lucius' behavior with her could not be trusted in this regard ;  
3) Severus' plan to get Lorena again involved she remained in his own company ;  
4) last but not least, Severus had to obey Voldemort – leaving Lorena to the Malfoys would mean he discarded the Dark Lord's orders deliberately.

Of course, he had voiced only the first reason to the young man. Draco had not been happy but Severus could not do anything against prejudice outside of his jurisdiction at Hogwarts. Nonetheless, the young man was not sure that his mother would have nurtured ill-will to a young person that had saved her only son's life from a joint Dementor-Death Eater attack…

The young woman, on her side, had decided she would try her luck with Alastor Moody. Maybe he would be in his office after dinner. She could not ask Draco to bring her to him – Moody was not even their D.A.D.A. teacher. She would go by herself, hoping the ex-Auror would not leave Hogwarts just after dinner. She wanted to talk to him and explain what had happened.

Lorena asked Draco who was at the High Table – casually. He confirmed that all the staff was there. Then they began to talk about who was to remain and who was to leave. At some point, it was said that Professor Snape would be among the remaining staff.

She went out of the Great Hall with the other students, hoping that nobody would follow her – and even less a certain Potions Master. She took her time to get to Alastor's office. It was located on the second floor. As she did not know when he were to finish his dinner, she decided to wait discreetly a bit further away.

After about fifteen minutes, Lorena went to knock at his office door. Fortunately, Alastor was there and he opened the door. He was surprised to see her but he was quickly smiling and he let her in after checking there was nobody in the corridor to check on them.

Once she was inside, Moody closed the door and warded it, casting a silencing spell on the room. He took her hand in his and dragged her gently to him. Soon, his lips found hers and they were raptured in a deep kiss. Then, he led her to the sofa where they both sat down.

"So, Lorena, what happened that we could not see each other ? What's that story of detentions ? With Snape, but what for ?"

Lorena did not wish to explain the reasons behind the detentions. "That's not important," she lied.

"It must be, Lorena. Five whole Saturday afternoons in a row. I know that Snape is the kind to dole out detentions with a heavy hand but all the same. How did you manage to grate on his nerves to the point you ended up serving five detentions with him like that ?"

_If only you knew…_ "I don't want to talk about it. It's over. Please, Alastor, don't insist. Just know that… that it was deserved."

"You don't want to talk about it ? Alright, your business. But all the same. Must have been a serious offense. I'm no fool, young lady !"

"Please, Alastor !" Lorena pleaded, putting her hands on his shoulders. "Don't spoil the moment."

He smiled. "You're right. My first kiss in a month…" He watched her. Suddenly a surge of desire rose in his chest. He wanted her, badly. Long time he had not desired a woman as much as he did now with Lorena. He took her lips again for a feverish kiss that left them panting after long minutes. He was such a good kisser…

Lorena could feel his desire too. "Will you leave Hogwarts for the Christmas holidays ?"

"Yes. Family business. My old mother to spend Christmas with, and a whole bunch of other relatives to see. Other unfinished business too, that I can't speak about." From his tone, it was obvious he did not wish to do all this. "I would have loved to have you with me for the holidays. Far from Hogwarts. Free to hold you, kiss you and do many other things… oh well."

"What kind of other things, Alastor ?" Lorena enquired, a little smile on her lips, an amused tone in her voice.

"Do you really want to know ?"

"Well, try me."

He brought her hands to his face. "Just see by yourself then." He was suddenly shy. Lorena did as told, gathering that he required her contact telepathy to come into action on him. "At your risks and perils though," he added softly.

"I'm no more a child, Alastor." Lorena entered his mind gently, like a caress. What she saw made her blush… but she did not back off.

They were in a big bed, in an unknown place, that she believed to be his home bedroom. Alastor was making love to her, careful not to squeeze her belly, spreading her legs to enter her hard and deep. She could hear his groans and grunts, along with her moans of pleasure. She gathered these were his fantasies, his desire, his lust for her. Not real memories. She left his mind.

"Are you angry with me, Lorena ?"

"Because you harbor such… dirty thoughts ?" She had an amused smile on her lips that belied her words.

He chuckled. "Yes. Very dirty thoughts. I'm a man after all !"

"No," she said after a few seconds, more seriously. "I know you want me, Alastor. As I told you, I'm no longer a child."

"You may be afraid… after what happened to you…"

She sighed silently. "I'm afraid but I suppose it's normal and it would be the same with any other man, I guess."

"I'd never harm you, Lorena. I just want to give you pleasure. To hear you scream out of pleasure…" His hand caressed her cheek. "When I could not see you, because of the detentions, before you managed to tell me about it, I had thought then that you didn't want to see me any more. That you must have thought how dirty an old man I was, lusting after a young lady like you. That I had made you cower."

"No, you didn't. It was just a story of detentions. Nothing to do with you." Now things were less clear, one month later. Lorena had been unhappy at the first detention with Severus but at the second detention, she knew the Potions Master would not abuse his position with her. She had felt at ease to sit and work in the same room as him. She had enjoyed the last three detentions. _I still love Severus_, she had to conclude after the five detentions – that is, just this late afternoon.

_What a mess I am in now_, she thought. Maybe that spending the holidays on her own would do her good. Away from both men. _I love Severus but do I love Alastor ?_ The question sprang to her mind suddenly. _I like him but love ? I don't know._

"Listen, Lorena, I could arrange with Dumbledore that I could take you away with me. He's a good friend of mine, he'd surely agree."

"I know but that would compel you to tell him about us… about our relationship. I don't want you to have problems with the Headmaster." _And even less with Severus._ Which she was sure would happen.

"No, no need to tell him all this. You'd be safe with me, you know. And he knows that too."

The Headmaster would notice something was up at once. The old wizard had already been involved too much in her own life – and that of Severus – to be meddling in that of Alastor, especially if she was the centre of interest again. Above all with that Unbreakable Vow business. "I don't think this is a good idea, Alastor. He would suspect something happening between you and me, and I don't want this to happen. You may have problems." She was not referring to problems with the school rules but with the Potions Master. Severus being the duelist he was, and Alastor the fighter he was, things would surely go quickly out of hand between them two. Lorena did not wish to be the cause of this. "Please." She esteemed both men too much to let this happen.

The ex-Auror nodded. "You're right." He set his gaze on her again. "Lorena… don't take it badly but… I want to make love with you. Now."

"Now ?"

"You can't imagine how much I want you… how much I want to show you how lovemaking is such a nice thing…" He got closer to her, kissing her neck. "To give you all I have… To give you pleasure… To give you comfort… To heal that wound I can feel you have deep inside… I want to love you… Let me love you… please…" His plea was soft and powerful at the same time.

Lorena thought fast. She had known two men – Severus and Voldemort. Severus had been a wonderful lover – and the man that had raped her too. Voldemort had just raped her savagely. What would it be like to be loved by another man ? A man that would not hurt her ? A man that would make her feel respected and loved ? Severus had forced himself on her but out of desire and passion, pretty much the same desire and passion that were driving Alastor Moody right now.

"Spend the evening with me, Lorena… Be mine… Please…"

She felt her resolve flinching. The only thought that came to her mind was that she was already pregnant. No risk then on this side. She noticed then that Alastor had his hand under her dress, between her thighs. She turned her head and their lips met, sealing their agreement. _Just for one evening. To make sure that… that I still love you, Severus._ "Then, love me, Alastor." As soon as she had uttered these words, desire sprang in her belly, beyond imagination, as if her hormones had gone suddenly wild. Her body surrendered to Alastor's.

A few minutes later, they were both undressing each other, their lips still joined together, in his bedroom. Alastor wanted her like mad but he had decided to take his time with her. His hands were burning hot on her skin. He was already hard when he led her to his bed. He sat her on the bed and took her hand in his.

"Now, Lorena, I don't know how much you know about men and sex… But there are things a woman can do to please a man."

Lorena said nothing, suddenly shy. She realized that she did not know much about giving pleasure to a man. Severus had deflowered her, he had possessed her several times in a row during the virginity ritual, then later in the morning nearby the cave spring. After that, nothing more had had happened between them two, save a few kisses. Except the rape, one month later. Without mentioning Voldemort that had raped her too.

"I don't know much, Alastor," Lorena she confessed softly.

His magical eye peered at her. He smiled at her gently. "Don't worry, Lorena. I can show you. Let me show you."

Alastor took her hand in his and put it on his maleness. Lorena was not surprised as she had already touched Severus'. Her fingers were soft and light on his rock-hard cock. It was huge. "Take it. Caress it. Yes… like that… good… continue…" He stroked her hair gently. "Now, put it in your mouth", he said after a few minutes, deeming that she was used to handle his cock. "Suck it like… an ice-cream. Do you like ice-creams, Lorena ?"

She smiled at him. "Oh, yes, I do." Slowly, she put his maleness in her mouth, first shyly, then more and more inside. Alastor guided her gently, inhaling deeply as she took him between her lips.

"Ooooh, Lorena… that's so good… oh, you're so gifted for love…"

She let him guide her, now sucking hard on him, drawing more grunts of pleasure from Alastor. After a few minutes, he removed himself from her mouth. "I don't want to come now… not before I give you pleasure… My turn now…"

He pushed her gently on the bed, spreading her legs. He knelt in front of her and began to lick her womanhood, his tongue teasing her clit gently yet sensually. Severus had already done that to her so she was not surprised. But the pleasure was intense nonetheless. She moaned her joy, opening herself to her lover. Alastor gave her pleasure with his hands, his fingers, his tongue, before entering her once he had made sure she was ready to welcome him. He was well hung too but he was careful and gentle in his possession of her.

He grunted powerfully when he entered her. She was a bit narrow and his cock was really huge now, in his desire to make love to her. He had not had a woman in ages. That sensation of her hot, wet walls tightening around his throbbing cock, his maleness going to-and-fro in her, sliding smoothly, was too much for him and he expressed his pleasure loudly.

"Ooooh, Lorena… my goddess of love… you're meant to give pleasure to a man…" He leaned towards her, his lips catching her in a feverish kiss. "Tell me if I hurt you, my darling… I know my cock's big… I don't want to hurt you and the baby."

Lorena felt real pleasure between Alastor's arms. She grabbed his arms, his shoulders, deepening the kiss, their tongues playing a sensual game. She moaned loudly, in echo to his own groans. "Oh, no, it's so good… Alastor… so good… keep it like this…"

Like in his fantasies, he took her legs and parted them even more, entering her full to the hilt, surprised that she could take him whole. "You're mine… my love…" he said in a ragged breath, pleasure mounting in him.

She cried her pleasure in a sudden, intense orgasm that surprised her. Once she was satisfied, Alastor stopped his movements in her and removed himself from her. "Now I want to take you in another position, let me show you… you'll feel a different pleasure. Let me give you pleasure differently." He turned her on all fours and took her behind, his cock sliding quickly between her tight, wet walls. It was the first time a man took her like that and Lorena had to admit she enjoyed it. He was right, she experienced pleasure differently but still with as much joy and intensity as before.

Alastor rode her with passion but careful not to hurt the baby she carried. He was quite turned on by her belly actually. For a wizard of his age, he was happy to be able to keep up with the desire of a young witch, bringing her to orgasm several times, to the point of making her shriek her pleasure out.

Yet, in the height of the pleasure she felt, Lorena could not but think about one man – and it was not the man that was making love to her now. In her mind, Severus appeared, loving her, caressing her, kissing her, possessing her ardently. She had to refrain herself from screaming Severus' name when climaxing.

Sex had been particularly intense for them both. Alastor felt happy to have given such pleasure to the young witch now riding him. He took her nipples in his mouth, groping her breasts with delight, while she was crying out loud her pleasure. He came when she took his lips with hers for a deep kiss. So long he had not made love like that, with such a woman, so gifted for sex and lovemaking. He promised himself he would teach her other things once he was back after the break.

Lorena had been relieved to see that she still could have sex with a man and find pleasure in it. But the most important was that she was confirmed that whatever the future may have in stock for her and her child, she still loved Severus, with her mind, her soul and her body. More than ever.

Lorena left Alastor's quarters about two hours after she had entered them, after several turns of senseless shagging. She felt light-headed, content, relieved in some way. She would have about two weeks to think about her affair with Alastor – and her relationship with Severus. It did not mean she was all the more ready to confront the Potions Master but she felt much more well armed to face him later – and more hopeful too. For this gift only, Lorena would feel grateful to Alastor Moody for the rest of her life.

* * *

_**There's a reference to the Blues Brothers - one of my other favorite fandoms. Chocolate cookies for all these of yours that will find it ! **__**LOL**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	57. Choices and consequences

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**5****7 – Choices and consequences**

Lorena made it to the Slytherin common room quickly, meeting no one, not even Severus in the dungeons area. Everybody was busy packing and Slytherin was no exception. Her dorm was a bee hive. All the Slytherins left the castle for the holidays, as they all had families. Except herself.

Lorena did not wish to let that thought aggravate her. She was in too much a good mood, after such a good shag, to feel sad over this. She opened her trunk and began to empty it.

"So, you're leaving too, this year ?" one of her dormmates asked.

Lorena turned her head towards the voice. "Later during the week." Saying downright 'no' while being married would have sound too weird. "But I thought I could enjoy the opportunity to sort out the mess in my own trunk before packing actually."

The other Slytherin girl giggled. "Yes, it's incredible how much we can store in a few weeks." She paused. "By the way, where are you going to keep baby's stuff ?"

As soon as the word 'baby' had been uttered, the other girls in the dorm stopped their activities and gathered around Lorena's bed.

"When are you going to have it ?"

"Is it a boy or a girl ?"

"I didn't know you were pregnant, Lorena. You fooled us well, had it not been for Snape's Potions class last time, when he forbade you to work on that potion."

Lorena had not expected that turn. Something told her that her dormmates had waited for the very last evening to ask questions that must have burnt their tongues since that infamous Potions class.

She sighed. She thought about her dormmates. They were pure-bloods, they may have Death-Eaters in their families. She decided to lie, to keep in line with what the Dark Lord expected. "I'm supposed to give birth this Summer. End of July or so. It's a boy."

The girls around giggled excitedly. "How are you going to call him ?"

"Alan. For me, he's already 'Alan'."

"And who is the father ? Someone we know ? Pansy Parkinson says that you must have shagged some filthy Muggle and now you carry his child."

"That is none of your concern," Lorena replied with a cold voice. "Nor Pansy's either. Know that I'm married, that's all. But do not try to know who he is." She showed the Love-Snakes ring to confirm her assertion.

"I don't believe what Pansy says about the father, him being a Muggle and all," one of the girls said with a thoughtful voice. "I'd rather think that your… husband is someone important in the wizarding world that you keep so shut about his identity."

Lorena's face became unreadable, sensing danger. The girl was right on. Out of reflex, she Occluded her mind. "Believe what you all wish. But I won't tell you who he is. Not even if he is a Muggle or a wizard." Of course, she would not tell them. "Now, young ladies, you should keep on packing, otherwise you're going to be late."

"I find it's interesting to have a pregnant woman in our midst, Lorena," said another girl. "I know that I'm promised already to a wizard and as soon as I get graduated, I'll get married. At least, I would have seen what it is to be pregnant. You have experience."

Lorena was glad of the opening thus offered to escape the questions about her condition. "You mean… You're to get married ? Already ?"

She heard a girl dragging a chair. "I've finished my packing. She's right, that's real experience, not stuff we can read in books." Soon, the four other girls were sitting on the nearby bed or on chairs. _Girls evening_, Lorena thought. _With me imparting them my so-called wisdom_, she thought derisively. _Who am I to be considered wise ? In love with a Dark wizard, brutal and violent, that will be my undoing..._ Her dormmates' experience was interesting to hear too, it provided a change. She was ready to listen to them, genuine interest on her face.

"Yes," replied the promised girl. "Pure-blood families often do that. Marriages are arranged at birth or early age, you know. I've been promised when I was three. Well, that's what my parents told me."

Lorena felt compassion for the girl. She had not been given much choice either but at least, she loved Severus – despite his brutality and ruthlessness towards her. She had chosen to bear the consequences of her choices. While the young girl… She had had no choice at all, not even a say in a decision affecting her whole life. Lorena thought it was not so bad to be a Muggle-born witch after all. Her parents would have never done such a thing to her. Not even her old-fashioned and somewhat strict grandmother.

"And how do you feel about that ?" Lorena asked her.

"How old is he ?" another girl asked.

"He's twenty-five. He works at the Ministry. I feel, well, I don't know. I haven't met him much, except once this last Summer, but I'll see him again at Christmas, so I could tell you more when I'm back. His family is pure-blood too. My parents would not have let me marry even a half-blood."

_Severus is a half-blood_, Lorena thought, without knowing why that thought popped up in her mind. She thought that these blood status prejudices worked not only against Muggle-borns but also against pure-bloods themselves.

"Is he good-looking ?" a third girl asked. "At least you don't have too much age difference. Sometimes that happens too."

"Not too bad. He has money and his family's prestigious. He's related to the Minister for Magic himself."

Hearing this, the girls gasped and burst into admirative exclamations. Except Lorena. "Do you love him ? Does he love you ? Is he kind with you ? Nice, caring and all ?"

Lorena's questions triggered off giggles. The girl closest to Lorena managed to stifle her laughter. "Lorena… incurable romantic… that's not so important. Money, power, prestige, rank, these are the most important things," she said.

"Where do you think you are now ?" another one asked. "You're in Slytherin !"

_So Slytherin__ indeed_, Lorena thought with an inner sigh.

"Kindness, understanding, complicity, respect, in a couple, are important things too. This is love." _Do I have this with Severus ?_ Her heart sank deep for a few seconds. _No, I don't. He doesn't give you any of this at all. You're no better off than these girls on this point._ She was no different than her soon-to-be-married dormmate. Her marriage with Severus had been arranged and even secured through an Unbreakable Vow. He had given her none of the above – and most likely would give her none in the future. The only thing he would give her was his name. She bit her tongue not to burst out in tears in front of these girls. Moreover, her husband-to-be was not good-looking by other people's standards. She had no idea whether he was able to support a family. He was almost twice her present age. He was a Death-Eater. He was…

_He's the man I love._

"Lorena, are you alright ? You look pale."

Lorena woke up from her reverie. "Oh, yes, just thinking about all you've said. Interesting." _I've made a choice. Nobody compelled me to take that Vow. I consented to it. I consented to keep the baby. I consented to follow that ritual. I consented to give myself to him for my first time with a man. Nobody compelled me to love him. I do love him. He just doesn't love me._ "Yes, I'm fine."

The topic drifted over pregnancies, the conversation set on a pleasant tone. Lorena had to confess that she did not know much, her only reliable source of information being Ms Pomfrey, as she had nobody else, not even her mother or grandmother to hand her over tips on the matter. And there were still books fortunately, for the questions that she would not be able to ask the medi-witch.

The Potions Master would have been a reliable source of information too. He knew so many things ! But Lorena did not wish to talk to him about this subject. Surely he would not wish to talk about it either. After all, if she had not become pregnant, many things would have been different. Only one thing would have remained the same though.

_My undying love for Severus._

Once again, back to him.

* * *

_**Just a precision regarding Lorena's behavior : I do not want to vindicate my OC or Severus here - not my part. They don't need me to defend themselves. I can understand that Lorena's cheating on Severus may have shocked some of you. No problem. Note that I welcome your reactions. At least that means you're not indifferent to that story and I thank you a lot for that. **_

_**Yet, I just want to say that things and people are not all black or all white. It's just that sometimes stuff happens, especially in vulnerable times. I think that Lorena was in that situation, caught in such a moment. She loves a man that is brutal with her - that's why she talks about it often, not so much because he is brutal than because she loves him. So maybe that explains her behavior. Besides, I think it's possible for a woman to love several men at the same time (and for a man to love several women of course), above all when these partners do fulfill one's heart desire. The heart has its reasons that reason ignores, as they say. **_

_**What about the Blues Brothers reference in Chapter 56 ? Nobody found it ? Like Severus would say :**_** No one ? How disappointing... **_**(**_**Prisoner of Azkaban**_**, the movie). The reference was the offense Lorena's father has committed and that landed him in jail. The same offense that had landed Jake Blues in Joliet in the movie. I could not resist, I'm just a fan... Should I keep all the chocolate cookies for me only then ? LOL - there will be other occasions to share chocolate cookies...**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	58. Slytherins' Plans

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**5****8 – Slytherins' plans**

On departure's day, everybody was ready to leave the castle, en route for Hogsmeade Station, where the Hogwarts Express was to leave at 11 o'clock.

Everybody except Draco Malfoy. He had received an owl from his mother stating that she would come and meet the young woman that had saved her only son. She would meet Lorena and then Apparate back to Malfoy Manor on the day after with her son. The young man had been surprised but his Slytherin mind quickly glimpsed the interesting possibilities this situation could offer.

He went to see Lorena and talked her into accompanying him to the castle gates to meet his mother. Lorena had agreed, curious to meet Draco's mother. She was aware that a pure-blood witch such as Narcissa Malfoy, née Black, may not be very nice with her, a Muggle-born. She told Draco about these prejudices rather freely. The young Slytherin had remained unfazed though he had to admit that his whole family shared the same opinion as he had about Muggle-borns.

"And now, Draco, does it matter to you ?"

"Your being a Mud… a Muggle-born ?"

"Yes."

He took long seconds before answering. "No, it doesn't. It doesn't, at least no longer to me."

"In that case, I'll be honored to meet your mother."

That had sealed it – to Draco's joy. He had other plans in mind though. He had spent the evening with Lorena alone together in the Slytherin common room. They were the last two Slytherins to remain, all the others had boarded the Hogwarts Express in the morning. She even played her violin for him. Draco realized that this was the very first time she played in front of a student at Hogwarts – she had played once and it had been in front of the staff only.

He particularly enjoyed the fast-paced piece entitled _Contradanza_. He even clapped in his hands and they both enjoyed the moment, ending the piece with a laugh heartily shared.

"Lorena, you should play more in front of us, I'm sure we'll have fun ! You're really gifted."

"Don't mock me, Draco !"

"No, I'm not. I'm dead serious. I will see if we can organize something nice next term. Time to set up again the good Slytherin parties of old. Remember ?"

"Yes, you're right. Long time we haven't had such. I second your idea ! Of a party, of course." She laughed.

Draco had a serious look at her. Lorena played the nostalgic piece _Ashokan Farewell_. He felt moved by the tender mood. When she was finished, he put a gentle hand on her shoulder and a light kiss on her lips. Through the contact, Lorena felt he had been shaken by her music.

"Did you like it ?" she asked him once they were done.

"The music or the kiss ? I liked them both, you know." And with that, he kissed her deeper this time. He hugged her closer to him and deepened the kiss even more.

In the shadows of the common room entrance, one person was standing, drawn by the music, the clapping and the laughs. Severus saw Lorena and Draco kissing each other. It was not a passionate kiss, not like the one Moody had given her, not like the kisses he had himself given to her, but the young woman seemed to enjoy its sweetness.

Jealousy and possessiveness stung the Potions Master's heart. He could not do anything against Draco – his godson ! – but it hurt all the same. She was _his_ ! No other man could have her, not even his godson, not even for a kiss. Severus touched the Love-Snakes ring he wore under his garments. A deep feeling of loss crept inside his soul. Gone was the time when Lorena played for him only. Gone was the time when her kisses were for him only. Gone was the time when her attention was solely focused on him.

Severus preferred to leave the Slytherin common room entrance, making his way back to his own quarters silently. He would drown his sadness, his sorrow, his jealousy, his fury, in some PureFire whiskey, feeling terribly lonely, while the object of his desire was just a few yards away.

Lorena removed herself from Draco's embrace. She had felt her Love-Snake ring tickling on her finger. She had sensed that Severus had been not far. Well, the Potions Master quarters were not very far. The whole dungeons belonged to the House of Slytherin. How close he was, she had no idea.

"I think I should go to bed and have an early night," she said softly. "I'm tired."

Draco led her to one of the sofas. "Please, Lorena, just stay with me a bit more." There was a plea in his voice. A plea for companionship and tenderness. "I promise you there'll be nothing more than a bit of snogging."

She sighed. "You promise ?"

"I will," he replied seriously. "I suppose… with the baby… you can't do much," he added with a chuckle.

Lorena smiled. _If only he knew… _She had a thought for Alastor Moody. "No, I suppose." She put her instrument back into its case and sat on the sofa besides Draco. He took her in his arms. She leaned there, tenderly coiled against him. Through her contact telepathy, she felt that the spoilt brat he was, despite a devoted mother, craved for tenderness. They remained in each other's arms for long minutes before resuming kissing.

After one hour spent as such, giggling, kissing, chatting, snogging, they parted for their respective dorms. True, Draco would not have minded a night of lovemaking with Lorena. They had the whole common room for themselves. They had their whole dorms for themselves. But he respected her wish to sleep in her own bed alone. It spurred him further in his plan for the day after.

That she was married did not even cross his mind. Apparently, she did not mind being a bit unfaithful to her husband – if any. For the time being, he did not care. If Lorena did not mind, that meant probably that her marriage was most likely an arranged marriage or that her husband did not mean a lot to her. He discarded the issue, he did not even ask any questions to her about it. Lorena did nothing to change his views on the topic either.

* * *

Severus barely slept during that night. He was well aware that Lorena and Draco were alone in their dorms. He imagined all sorts of things going on between them two – like a good senseless shagging, something he would have done himself to her. It fueled his jealousy even more, his possessiveness reaching heights like never before. _She's mine ! She belongs to me ! _Suddenly, he wanted to see her in her dorm and take her there. That would be an interesting experience, making love to one of his students in her very dorm.

A nasty voice crept in his mind saying : _'No, she belongs to the Dark Lord.' _This had been different. The Dark Lord had raped her, he had had no feelings whatsoever for Lorena. While Moody, then Draco… two other men than him that had managed to weasel their way inside the young woman's heart, by a tender behavior with her while he, Severus, had only managed to brutalize her, raping her too.

Oh, how it ached ! How much he felt for her and now, she was lost to him forever as she was now between another man's arms ! Severus resisted the impulse to check if his two students were in their respective dorms. He should have done so, he would have seen that Lorena was alone in her bed, and so was Draco in his.

He had loved before. Lily had been taken from him by another man. Now, he loved again and this time, Lorena was taken from him by two other men. _The Dark Lord is right… Love is a weakness. Love leads to suffering. Suffering leads to hatred. Hatred leads to Darkness. Darkness leads to death… Death leads to despair… I'm already in despair. I'm already in Darkness._ He gulped down another glass of whiskey.

He had managed to get over Lily's loss and death. But this time, Severus was not sure if he would be able to get over Lorena being out of his life. _I lost her on that fateful day when I raped her. Why did I do that to the woman I… ? Damn temper of mine…_

Severus decided he would go to bed. Deep down, he knew he could not let it go. He could not let her go. Once in bed, he took from under his nightshirt the Love-Snakes ring. He brought it to his lips, imagining he was kissing her tenderly, seeing himself kissing her in the Slytherin common room, like Draco had done tonight.

_I have to take her with me to Spinner's End. We have to leave Hogwarts. Together. I'll make her mine again at home. In my bed there. Nobody around to check on us. __I want to be alone with you, Lorena, to possess you the way I want to possess you. The only way you can be possessed, the only way you deserved to be possessed._

* * *

On the day after, Lorena and Draco had breakfast in the Great Hall, with the other remaining students. The two Slytherins were to mix with the other House members, as only one table had been set up for the students. Lorena seemed incredibly at ease with the other Houses and she introduced Draco to them. They knew him but she did her best to show them how sociable and nice he could be. In front of these efforts, he managed to behave up to her standards and enjoyed the moment eventually.

Lorena had the incredible talent to get people together, whatever different they may be from each other, how much their concerns could be far away from each other. Hence, she could manage to bring people thus affected to new points of view, to reconsider things in a new light, to lead them to change themselves on certain issues. Severus and Draco were good examples of that, especially Draco.

Of course, his animosity towards Gryffindor had not vanished overnight. But he displayed a polite interest in them, feeling more at ease with the Ravenclaw students, especially the two of them that were pure-bloods. Draco being a talented student himself, he felt at ease with students interested in academic pursuits.

From the High Table, Severus watched Lorena carefully. There was no gesture between her and Draco that indicated intimacy. They just seemed to get along fine together. His jealousy had subsided but his possessiveness was still there, a powerful sting onto his heart.

"Severus, are you sure you're fine ?" said a voice nearby him.

The Potions Master looked in the direction where the voice was coming from. Minerva McGonagall had taken the seat just beside him. "Severus ?" she asked again. "Did you have a good rest last night ?"

"Yes, yes, Minerva, I did." This was a blunt lie. The Deputy Headmistress was no fool. She could recognize a real brooding a mile away. But Severus being Severus, she did not press the issue any further. She just sighed, glancing at him to show him she did not buy his reply. This brooding of his looked different from the usual brooding he displayed though. Minerva had known Severus for almost all his life, since he had set foot in Hogwarts aged 11. She knew most of his secrets, his being a Death-Eater and a spy for the Order. She could read his face pretty well. This brooding was most unusual.

After breakfast, Lorena and Draco went back to the Slytherin common room. They kissed there again before she sent Draco back to his dorm for him to finish packing up. While he was doing so, she took her instrument and played various pieces. The _Contradanza_ sounded between the walls of the common room and further in the dungeons, giving the place an atmosphere of joy.

Severus had been back to the dungeons too – to his quarters. Nevertheless, the sound of the music came to him. Lorena was playing hard and _fortissimo_, as much as she could. Intrigued and rather used to her playing gently, Severus went to the Slytherin common room to see what was going on.

There she was, standing in the middle of the room, alone. She was facing the door. She was standing up, an energetic look on her face, a ferocious smile on her lips, as if she was pouring down all she had on her instrument and in her music. Her moves were quick, precise, one of her feet was tapping on the floor in tempo with her music. She looked possessed and for a second or two, it scared Severus. He wondered what had gotten into her mind, that she played like that.

He soon noticed that she had bewitched her violin so that the sounds came out amplified. The sound was beautiful but it carried something both ominous and desperate, despite the joyful tune she was playing. Through their bond, he could feel her magic, a magic expressing itself through her instrument. Sometimes, when her bow met the strings too harshly, some sparks flew.

Severus watched her, fascinated. After playing three or four times the _Contradanza_ in a row, Lorena stopped, panting, as if she had run for miles. An obvious look of satisfaction lit her features. Then she felt the tickling on her Love-Snakes ring. "Professor Snape ?" she called softly.

He hesitated before coming forward. "Yes. What does that mean, Miss Nottingham ? What's that mayhem ?" His voice carried something dangerous that warned Lorena he meant business.

_Damn. What's going on ?_ She had to think fast. "Just playing, sir. I'm alone, sir."

"No, you're not alone in the dungeons, Miss Nottingham ! I'm here and I believe that Mr Malfoy is somewhere here too !"

She had perceived his bad mood and that music was only a pretext to exhale his rancor. _Rancor for what ? Against whom ?_ "I'm sorry, sir, I think I played a bit too much _fortissimo_. I needed it but I will refrain from now on." She had an idea suddenly, an idea that should make him simmer down. She began a tune he knew very well. A tune she knew he loved. The _Adagio for Strings_.

Soon, the rich sounds of the piece invaded the whole room, then the whole dungeons. She had come closer to the Potions Master, guided by his voice, guessing he was nearby the door, trusting her Love-Snakes. Her empty pale gray gaze was trained in his direction, as if she was playing only for him.

It soothed him a bit. Severus was enthralled by her music. This time, she was playing only for him indeed. He felt all his anger against her to disappear, leaving room only for his sadness, that irreparable feeling of loss that had dwelt in his heart since the moment he had raped her, a feeling revived when he had seen her being kissed by Moody more than one month ago, when he had seen her being kissed by Draco the evening before.

Soon her eyes filled up with tears as the crescendo went higher and higher. Severus was careful to turn his back onto the boys' dorm entrance. He did not wish his godson to see him moved by the music. Moved by her.

Now Lorena was crying, tears rolling down her cheeks. Draco showed up, intrigued by the new tune he heard. He saw her crying, and Professor Snape looking at her, his back turned on him, but obviously appreciating her music. Who could remain insensitive to that ? Even the cantankerous Potions Master could not.

When she was over, she let her tears roll down her cheeks, her instrument still in her hands, hanging by her side, as if waiting for her judgment. At this point, Draco came closer to her. He did not wish to show his godfather he had feelings for his Housemate.

"That was… beautiful, Lorena…" was all he could say.

"Thank you, Draco," she managed to utter while wiping her tears.

"That doesn't exonerate you from the _noise_ you made before, Miss Nottingham !" Severus said nastily.

"The noise ?" Draco exclaimed. "You call that… noise ? She plays wonderfully !"

"Mr Malfoy, I recommend you to finish packing up instead of posing as an art critique," Severus said softly yet coldly. "As the Head of your House to you both, I shall deal with that issue myself. Unless you wish to have detentions for next term ? Now… Get. Out."

The young man glanced at him with a nasty look in his gray eyes. Severus remained unfazed, well aware that he would have gladly doled him out a week's detention just because…

_Just because you dared kiss what is mine. You dared touch what is mine. You dared defend what is mine._

"Draco… that's okay… please… don't…" a faint voice said.

Draco glanced at her and read on her face that he should obey – he had to. "Certainly. Professor," he said with an ironic tone, just what was needed to express disapproval yet without being disrespectful.

"As for you, Miss Nottingham, you just earned yourself a week's detention. We'll arrange the conditions thereof then." His voice was icy.

Lorena lowered her head. When Severus had this tone, better say nothing and comply. "Yes, sir," she whispered with a voice of utter submissiveness.

"Now, I accompany you back to your dorm. I'm sure that you have plenty of tidying up to do there. Leave your instrument here. You won't need it. I'll take it with me so that I'm sure that you won't create any further havoc here with it."

Lorena felt panic overwhelm her. She took her violin, cradling it against her body like a child to protect and stepped backward from him. It was the most precious thing she had and she feared that if she let it there, something terrible may happen to it. "No…"

Severus perceived it. "You may put it in its case. But you'll leave it here with me ! I confiscate it !" His tone was dangerous cold.

"No, you can't !" she protested.

"I can, Miss Nottingham. Quit that rebellious attitude or you'll have a month's detention instead of a week's."

Her heart sank. She gave up. "Yes, Professor." Why was he behaving so nastily with her ? Well, he had already behaved in more hateful ways with her. She sent him a love wave, hoping it would soothe him.

He grabbed her arm on purpose, with a firm grip, aware she would feel his thought. _No need to resort to this, Lorena._ He had felt moved by her feelings for him, they were still there, for a second. But the next second, he wondered if that was only a ploy. After letting Moody and Draco kiss her, she could not feel love for him any more. _Don't play with me. I'm not your plaything._

Lorena complied and put her instrument back into its case. She closed the case and left it on the sofa nearby, a dreadful look on her features as she let the Potions Master lead her to her dorm, a heavy feeling in her heart, as if she had abandoned her own child.

She Occluded her mind. _My child. Severus' child._ Her heart sank deeper. He was so brutal with her, and not only physically. She recalled most of the times he had been in contact with her since he had raped her, he had been brutal with her. _I love you but I'll be compelled to let go of you, Severus. I can't go on like this. I love you but you don't love me. _She understood then that if she had made love with Moody, if she had let Draco snog her thoroughly the evening before, it was because these two men had been kind and loving with her.

Severus entered her dorm with her. As a Head of House, he could access the dorms of his students – which he almost never did, leaving to the prefects the care to keep peace there – except in case of emergency. "Where's your bed ?"

She said nothing and just walked towards it. Suddenly, he thought that he could take her there, making her his again, asserting his right over her, whether she would consent to it or not. But Draco Malfoy was nearby, he could hear something and come to her rescue or whatever. Or at least be a witness.

_No. If I want her again as mine, I must be… careful and gentle with her._ Oh Merlin, how difficult that promised to be indeed ! True, he wanted to punish her but raping her again may break her definitively. It may even kill her. The Unbreakable Vow was what refrained him from doing so eventually. Severus felt its magic at work in preventing him from doing a fatal gesture – again.

_Too much love will kill us.__ Both._

Lorena bent over. "Alan…" she whispered. Hearing her saying the name of their unborn child, Severus gathered at once the cause of her uneasiness. He took her arm and helped her to remain steady, then he helped her to sit on her bed.

"How do you feel ?"

"The baby's alive…" Her voice trailed off, lost in emotion. _While I'm dying a bit more each time you're brutal with me._ "I'm fine, Professor, thank you…" was all she could say. How could he do that to her, depriving her of the most precious thing in her life – music ?

"I want you to stay here. Have rest. I'll come and pick you up for lunchtime." He looked at her, mixed emotions in his mind. Desire, sadness, lust, sorrow, longing, pain, need, compassion, want, love…

As if he wanted to flee all these feelings of his, Severus left her dorm, leaving her there, alone with her own despair over her love.

_My undying love for you. My unconditional love for you. __My unrequited love for you._

* * *

In the mean time, Draco had not lost his time. He had left the Slytherin common room but had not gone back to his dorm as instructed by his Head of House. He had stopped in the half-way between the common room and the boys' dorms. He had heard the reprimand the Potions Master had given to Lorena. The detentions he had given her for next term. Above all, his request about her instrument. Her protest. Their leaving the common room for her dorms.

Draco had felt how much the violin was important to her. He was a boy born and raised in a very wealthy family. He knew that her violin was her only wealth. Something that she could not part from.

Then, he knew what he would do to soothe her. It would fit his plan perfectly, provided that Professor Snape does not return too quickly from the girls' dorms. Yes, it would provide him with a sweet revenge on him.

Gleefully, he entered the common room to carry out his plan. _Vengeance is sweet !_ he thought, a smirk on his lips. He just had to do quick. He had finished packing and if he were smart enough, his plan should work to a Slytherin perfection.

* * *

_**Slytherins at their best, all in cunning and scheming, for their own purposes ! How all these plans of theirs are going to fit into each others' ? In particular, Draco's ? I like to play with him too and show an unexpected side of him. I'm sure there's more to him than meet the eye. I liked to replay the same kind of conversation between Lorena & Draco, than the one that had occurred between Severus and Lily.**_

_**I hope Severus is still in character - though he's ill-at-ease with his feelings for Lorena. Well, that's no surprise, we all know how bad he is at handling these. **__**'Vengeance is sweet' : I love the way he says that in the**_** Prisoner of Azkaban **_**movie (when he's arresting Sirius in the Shrieking Shack).**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	59. An unexpected invitation

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**5****9 – An unexpected invitation**

When Severus came back to the common room to fetch Lorena's violin, it had disappeared. It took him only a few seconds to suspect who was behind the deed. _Draco Malfoy !_ There was nobody else but him in the Slytherin area at that time.

He stormed into the boys' dorms. Draco was still there, finishing packing lazily his trunk. "Mr Malfoy, where is it ?" the Potions Master asked with a dangerous tone in his voice.

"Where is what, Professor ?" Draco asked with nonchalance.

"Her violin ! It was in the common room. Where did you put it ?"

Draco looked surprised. He Occluded his mind at once. "What are you talking about, sir ?"

"Her violin. It was on the sofa in the common room. It disappeared." Watching the young man carefully, he tried Legilimency but the young man's mental shields were good. "I can see that you improved your Occlumency, Draco. Aunt Bellatrix can be proud of you."

"I don't know where her instrument is, sir. You ordered me to come back here and I did so. I finished packing."

Severus' black eyes fell on the trunk. "Turn out your pockets, Draco." As the young man did not move, he repeated his order, his voice growling, more pressing. "I said, turn out your pockets !"

The young man complied. Nothing. "Open your trunk. Remove everything !"

"Everything ? When I had just finished packing up ?"

"Don't play the fool with me, Draco. Empty your trunk !"

"Certainly, Professor," the young man replied with a sneer on his lips. _As if I were stupid enough to have…_

Draco complied. Soon every thing he had in his trunk was spread on his bed, on the ground nearby, on a chair. Severus remained silent in front of the exposure of his godson's personal belongings. Nothing. Nothing looking like a violin. He passed his wand over the belongings to detect any sign of magic but found nothing.

Fuming over his failure, Severus glared at him. "You may pack up now and you'll get a week's detention to be made on your return from the Christmas break, Mr Malfoy. The arrangements thereof shall be discussed then."

Draco opened his mouth to protest but the dangerous glint in his Head of House's dark eyes forbade him from going any further. "Yes, sir," he just said, starting to pack up again. Pleasing Lorena was worth a week's detention after all.

Severus left the boys' dorm in a fury of billowing robes. He was sure that his godson was behind the violin's disappearance. Who else could be ? Unless Lorena could have arranged its relocation thanks to her psychokinetics ? Maybe… He retreated to his quarters. In less than one hour, it would be lunch time. He would to back to Lorena's dorm and bring her to lunch. The girl drove him crazy but he would not let her starve herself, especially in her condition.

Draco finished to pack up. A faint smile appeared on his lips. How could his godfather have thought he was stupid enough to have put Lorena's violin, even in a reduced format, in his trunk or his pockets ? Half angry for being considered as such, half happy for the good prank he had just played on him, Draco went to the nearby bathroom and picked up a box on his shelf. He quickly charmed the box using a reducing spell and put it in his pocket. He reduced the trunk in the same manner, put every thing in his pockets, threw his cloak over his shoulders and went to Lorena's dorms.

There, he found her looking miserable on her bed, a white handkerchief in her hand, crying silently.

"Lorena… that's okay… I got myself a week's detention too…"

"Really ?" she said weakly.

"With a bit of luck, we'll do it together," he said cheerfully, to raise her spirits.

"Would not bet on that…" _Not with Severus._

"Lorena, remember, I have to leave, my mother wishes to meet you. Now's the time, come with me."

"I don't feel good, Draco." She sniffled. "He deprived me of my music…"

"Listen, Lorena, if I tell you something, would you believe me ? Would you trust me ?"

She listened to him with a surprised look on her face. He went on.

"I found a way to have your… thing back," he whispered so that nobody could hear. "But you have to come with me to meet my mother and _trust_ me, okay ?"

"Looks like I don't have pretty much choice, do I ?"

Draco smiled. "No, you don't, but you'll like it, I promise you that. You just have to trust me."

"Well, I've lost my violin, I guess I don't have anything else to lose."

"Ah, that's the spirit. You'll see, you won't regret it. You'll even have a good laugh after. Where's your cloak ?"

He helped her get to her feet. She took her cloak from her dresser, along with the gloves, the green-and-silver scarf. She re-arranged her garments on herself so that her belly could not show. One never knew. Once she had deemed to be covered with enough layers to cope with the cold weather outside, she gave him her arm so that he could guide her.

"Professor Snape instructed me to stay here. He may watch over us."

"Don't you worry, Lorena. There's a secret exit from the common room that by-passes the corridor leading to our dear Head of House's quarters. Surefire way to exit the dungeons unnoticed."

They giggled together. Draco put a quick kiss on her lips and off they went. He guided her through the secret exit and passageway. Soon, they were outside the castle. The weather was cold but it was not snowing. Fortunately, it had not snowed since the day before and no snow had covered the tracks left by the previous students on leaving Hogwarts for Hogsmeade Station. They just followed the tracks, which made their progress through the snow easier.

They chatted together, though Draco remained silent about the violin's whereabouts. He just repeated her that she had to trust him. They arrived to the castle gates where Argus Filch and his cat Mrs Norris were waiting. The gates were already opened and the two youngsters went out. Filch recorded that Draco Malfoy had left the castle for the holidays, accompanied by Lorena Nottingham.

Further down, they were met by Narcissa Malfoy. Surprise, there was also Lucius Malfoy. Draco introduced Lorena to his parents. Narcissa took Lorena's hands in hers, thanking her for saving her only son. Lorena was embarrassed, protesting that she had been saved by Draco too, when he had Apparated them back to the Hogwarts gates. Narcissa would hear nothing.

Lorena had been surprised when she had heard Lucius' voice. It was the same voice that she had heard on Halloween night, at Voldemort's place, where the Dark Lord had raped her. He had summoned a 'Lucius' to bring Nagini to her. Could it be the same individual ? Was Draco's father a… Death-Eater ?

Lorena did not show any emotion at her possible discovery. Instead, she smiled at Narcissa when she heard her voice. Then she heard a proposal she would not have suspected.

"Mother, father, I have a surprise to give to Lorena but I can't give it to her here. May we invite her for the day ?"

There was a silence. Lorena felt it was in relation with what Draco had just told her in her dorm, before they left. She had to trust him. So she said nothing and lowered her eyes out of modesty.

Narcissa could refuse nothing to her only son. She agreed. As for Lucius… things were a bit different. He had recognized the girl. The girl that Severus Snape had brought to the Dark Lord for his mysterious plan to get more magical powers. The girl that spoke Parseltongue while being a filthy Mudblood. How could his son consort with such a creature ? Well, if the Dark Lord had been able to do so… She was probably just a pet for Draco to play with. He made a mental note to remind his son that the girl belonged to the Dark Lord.

His gray eyes lingered over the young woman, assessing her. He did not know what the Dark Lord's plan had been with her exactly but he was no fool. He had gathered what had happened when Voldemort had come back to their party. His Master had been in a particularly jolly mood afterwards. He had surely gotten laid and most likely with the girl standing in front of him.

That meant that the Mudblood was off limits. Well, he could see that later on. She was a beauty. "Sure, son, you may bring your housemate to our home for the day."

"I don't want to intrude in your privacy, sir," Lorena said. "This is Christmas, a time for families…"

Narcissa spoke up. "We would be delighted to welcome the young person that saved our son. I won't take 'no' for an answer."

Lorena was torn between her desire to leave Hogwarts, even only for a day, if it meant to be far away from Severus ; and her fear of his displeasure when he discovered that she was no longer in her dorm, waiting for him. _He hurt me too much lately._ She let it go.

"And I have a nice surprise for you, Lorena," Draco said. "You won't regret it, I promise you."

"Alright," she agreed. "Thank you very much indeed, Draco." She suddenly regretted not to have dressed more formally for the occasion. She wore a dark green dress, medieval cut, with a long cut black robe over it, under her cloak. She hoped they would not notice her pregnancy once she has removed her cloak. She had to be careful especially if Lucius Malfoy was one of the Dark Lord's followers.

"Draco, you'll Apparate with your housemate, I'll take care of your mother," Lucius said.

Draco took Lorena in his arms. The hug reminded Lorena of how Severus held her in his arms for side-along Apparition. She tried to ban him from her mind but his presence there was still strong, persistent. They readied themselves to Apparate and soon they were off to Malfoy Manor.

* * *

When Severus went to fetch Lorena in her dorms, there was complete silence. He thought she was probably sleeping. He entered her dorm and saw at once that it had been deserted. Her bed was the closest to the door. He came to it. Nobody. He checked her dresser and noticed that her cloak, gloves and scarf were missing. Then his eyes noticed something white on the green bed cover.

He took it between his hands. A white handkerchief he recognized at once. The handkerchief he had given her, on that morning she had become blind, when he had comforted her. She had kept it from then, like a talisman. It never left her. Now, it was left discarded on her bed.

_She discarded me. She dismissed me from her life. She banned me from her existence._ The thought stabbed him in his heart. His lingering feeling of loss became unbearable and he let out a cry. He was like a wounded animal. He was blinded by pain.

Severus got a quick and firm grip on his emotions. He pocketed the handkerchief in his frock coat. She had gone out, most likely with Draco Malfoy. He quickly ran out of the dorm, out of the dungeons, out of the castle. Maybe he could catch them up. He almost ran on his way towards the castle gates.

He did not need to got far. On his way there, he met Mr Filch.

"Have you seen Mr Malfoy, Mr Filch ?"

"Yes, I have, Professor," replied the caretaker. "I signed him off."

"Was he alone ?"

"Oh no, Professor. There was that blind girl with him, another Slytherin student of yours."

"Miss Nottingham was with him ?"

"Yes, Professor. They met Mr and Mrs Malfoy outside the gates. Apparently, from what I heard, they wanted to invite her to their home for the day. Mrs Malfoy was particularly happy to meet Miss Nottingham."

_Damn, Lucius was there too._ Severus' mind raced fast. If Lucius noticed the least bit of her pregnancy, there would be hell for him. After all, she was supposed to be pregnant with the Dark Lord's child, that is less than two months along. While she was well five months along. _Hell to pay for me ! Foolish, silly girl !_

"Are you sure she didn't come back ?" the Potions Master asked.

"No, sir. I waited for her, to accompany her back, her being blind and all. But I saw them four Disapparate beyond the gates."

Severus' lips parted slightly, the only sign of emotion. He felt more worried than angry after Lorena now. He had to get her back, for her safety. Lucius was known to enjoy Muggle girls. _But he was there when the Dark Lord had said she was his. Hope he'll remember that._

"Thank you, Mr Filch. Please… do me a favor. Tell the Headmaster I won't be present for lunch. Some urgent business to sort out."

"I will, Professor Snape, I will."

Severus made a bee line towards the gates. There was only one way to know. He was aware that it may have been a trap set up by Lucius Malfoy. A very Slytherin trap : he could enjoy the girl ; he had the proof that Severus was not up to his word with the Dark Lord's order, as he had not kept an eye on her, for her safety.

Once outside the gates, Severus collected himself and focused on Malfoy Manor for Apparition.

* * *

**_I love Draco - I mean, I love to put his bad-boy side and Slytherin cunning to good use (for once). Yes, there's some good in that boy. Behind that ambiguous attitude of his, I wanted to show that._**

**_I wanted to give a glimpse of what could happen in the Slytherin common room, how Severus could interfere with two of his students (even if these two said students are very close to him for specific reasons). I think they are still in character though - I work hard for that._**

**_Severus, still as possessive and protective as ever here._**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	60. An unexpected visitor

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**60**** – An unexpected visitor**

Lorena was still in Draco's arms when they arrived at Malfoy Manor. He gently guided her to the mansion, where he entered after his parents. Narcissa had perceived her son's interest in the girl. True she was lovely. But she had to enquire about her blood status. Lucius had said nothing in this regard though he knew the truth about her.

Draco helped her to remove her cloak. She took off her scarf and gloves too, which he stored in the entrance hall. She was open to her surroundings while Occluding her mind carefully. She was most likely in a Death-Eater house and had to exert every caution.

She was led in a sitting-room richly furnished. Being blind, she could not know. She heard Narcissa order house-elves to prepare the meal and set up the table for four people. In the mean time, they were all four together in the sitting-room. Lucius helped himself a glass of whiskey, and prepared one for his wife. Draco opted for a Butterbeer while Lorena asked for a cup of tea as she felt a bit cold.

Draco guided her to a sofa. "I have to empty my pockets, my trunk's in there, I'll be back in a few minutes. I leave you with my father."

Lorena felt anxious but she did not show it. She just Occluded her mind even tighter. She was now alone with a notorious Death-Eater, in his house. She was positive about his voice. He had been present on that Halloween night with the Dark Lord. She welcomed the fact and got ready herself, while doing her best to look relaxed.

"So…" began Lucius' voice, "you're the girl that speaks Parseltongue at Hogwarts ? Draco told me about this."

_Draco may have told you but you were there too, with the Dark Lord._ "Yes, sir," she replied evenly. She did not wish to talk about it. She hoped he would stop there.

"Did you know that this talent is closely associated with Slytherin and the Dark Arts ?"

"I've been told so, sir."

"You must be interested in the Dark Arts then ?"

_Trying to enroll me in the Death-Eaters' ranks ?_ She smiled inside herself though she kept her face unreadable. "They are still knowledge, aren't they ? My interest is solely of an academic nature."

"Mmm… that could change, if you were properly shown for what they are truly. Power, Miss Nottingham. Magic is power."

_Yes, he tries to recruit me._ It would be laughable an attempt but Lorena preferred to play it safe. Who would want a blind, Muggle-born girl as a Death-Eater ? Surely not the Dark Lord. He had other plans for her and from what Severus and Dumbledore had told her, they did not include her survival.

"Yes, sir. Magic is power indeed."

Their exchange was interrupted by Narcissa. Lorena felt her sitting beside her on the sofa. A house elf came to bring them their beverages. The house elf watched Lorena and squealed in surprise. "Oh, elemental magic ! Powerful magic, the miss has powerful magic ! Elemental magic !" she could hear him mutter under his breath.

Lorena felt ill at ease. Narcissa must have perceived it as she dismissed the elf quickly. "Don't pay attention to what house elves may say."

_Save that he's right._ He had had the same reaction as Severus' house elf in Spinner's End. "That's okay, Mrs Malfoy. Thank you."

Narcissa gave her the cup of tea. Lorena was careful. In case they may have spiked her tea, with Veritaserum for example, she decided she would take only a very faint sip. Draco arrived and took his Butterbeer.

"Oh, now for your little surprise, Lorena," he said with obvious glee.

He took a box out his pockets. He opened it and took an object from it, which he put on an armchair nearby. "_Engorgio_ !" he said with a precise flicker of his wand. Then, once the object had reached its usual size, he put it on Lorena's lap. She took it and recognized her violin case.

"Oh, Draco !" She smiled. "But… how did you do it ?"

"A bit of Slytherin cunning, you know." His tone indicated that he would not talk in front of his parents.

Lorena did not insist. She opened the case and touched her violin. It was there, as if nothing had happened.

"Oh, you're playing the violin ?" Narcissa exclaimed.

"And she's a remarkable player at that," Draco insisted. "Please, Lorena, please could you play us something ?"

Now, she understood her housemate's request to come with him. He had snatched the violin while Severus was with her in her dorm. He must have hid it somewhere, in a place where the Potions Master could not find it. And now, she was there in their house to be given back her most valuable possession. Playing something for them was the least she could do. "My pleasure. Draco, you're a real friend !"

She stood up and tuned the instrument. She began to play the _Contradanza_ that Draco enjoyed so much listening to. The amplifying charm had died off and the sound was back to normal. Yet, she played with vividness and gusto, a smile on her lips, happy to please people around.

_Magic is power. Music is magic. Music is power._ She wondered if the Dark Lord would appreciate music after all. No, this was a power he did not crave to possess. She focused on her piece for a perfect rendition.

At the end, Narcissa and Draco clapped their hands in appreciation while Lucius was looking at her with surprise. _The Mudblood has talent_, he had to admit.

Then she went on with _Ashokan Farewell_ after Draco had asked for another piece. The work delighted Narcissa. She asked for another one. Lorena thought when Draco interfered. "Lorena, please, play the one you played this morning."

She did not seem to understand. _Not the_ Adagio for Strings.

"The one you played to Professor Snape this morning," he insisted. "He seemed to like it. And I found it great too."

Yes, that was the piece indeed. "No, I'll try another one, called _Remembrances_. You'll like it too, I promise you." She checked her instrument tuning and began to play. The _Adagio for Strings_ drew too many emotions from her, emotions that may betray her and Severus – that was a risk she did not wish to run, especially in a Death-Eater home.

The piece was deeply nostalgic. Draco saw his mother wipe a tear on her cheek. Lorena felt troubled too but her mind could manage to separate her focus on the music and the playing from her own emotions. Yes, she was right, it was beautiful.

When she was finished, Lorena apologized for her display of emotions. Narcissa protested that it was normal as it was so beautiful. She had rarely heard something as such. Lorena thanked her heartily.

"Tell me, Lorena, are you related to the famous wizarding family of musicians, the Winters of Nottingham ?"

Lorena was aware of the pure-blood family prejudices. She had been living with them for five years in Slytherin. It was a trap but she could not lie. Not in front of Draco. _Well, these are their prejudices, their issues, not mine._ She decided to take responsibility for her words – not for her birth.

"No, ma'am. My father is a musician, my mother was too. I'm a Muggle-born." She had said so with an obvious pride.

There was an embarrassed silence. Lorena felt the weight of prejudices kicking in. But she felt serene, sure of herself, of her talent, of her abilities, of her magical powers.

"Then tell me, how come a Muggle-born can be a Parselmouth ?" Lucius asked.

"You're a Parselmouth ?" Narcissa asked, puzzled. She understood her husband's question. There was a contradiction there.

"My grandmother taught me. I can speak to other creatures than snakes though. Spiders, cockroaches, ants."

"But that would mean that you would be more than a Muggle-born in terms of blood status. Interesting. Are you sure your grandmother was not a witch ?"

An interesting question indeed. _Right on, _Lorena thought.

"I don't know, sir. I can't tell. I don't know much about my family actually." At this point, Lorena knew she had to be careful. She hoped the conversation would stop on this issue. Curiously, her Love-Snakes ring tickled her. _Severus ?_

Suddenly, there was a strong knock on the door. Narcissa looked at Lucius, surprised. "Is there someone you expected, husband ?"

"No, I don't think so. I'll check this out." Lucius went to the door and opened it. He was surprised to see one of his fellow Death-Eater.

"Severus ! How are you ?" Lucius said amicably. "Please come in, come in ! It's cold outside. We were about to have lunch. Come and join us."

Severus stepped in. In the sitting-room, Lorena's acute hearing had heard Lucius' words. _Severus is here_, she thought. Hence the Love-Snakes' reaction. A lump of anxiety began to form in her throat. Yet, his timely appearance had saved her from a barrage of embarrassing questions.

Severus entered the sitting-room with Lucius. His dark eyes fell on Lorena. She was sitting beside Narcissa on a sofa, while Draco was sitting on an armchair on the other side of the room. The Potions Master had noticed that the young man was far away from the young woman. _Good for him. As for her…_ He watched her and saw an object on her lap.

The alto violin.

His dark eyes glinted. She had mocked him. Draco had mocked him. He was sure now that they would have their week's detention next term. For a start. Severus knew he could not do much against Draco. But Lorena… things were different. She had no family to fall back on. She would take the brunt of his wrath. His vengeance would be terrible. She would pay for her cheek, her unfaithfulness, his anger, his despair.

"Severus, you will join us for lunch," Narcissa said while standing up to greet him. "We're always pleased to see you. Please stay."

Severus agreed. He had not had lunch, busy as he was to look after Lorena. He would have time to assess the situation. He noticed that she was not showing much – she had had the presence of mind to hide her belly from the Malfoys, in particular Lucius. But her precaution would not alleviate the retribution she deserved.

Narcissa ordered an house elf to add an extra plate to the table for lunch. They all proceeded to the dining-room. Lucius sat at one end, his wife on his right, his son on his left. Lorena sat beside Narcissa, to show Severus she was not after Draco. The Potions Master sat beside his godson, facing the young woman.

The meal went on pleasantly, turning most of the time around Lorena's talent for music. The young woman remained silent, her eyes lowered, feeling the weight of her professor's anger against her. She wished the lunch could last forever. She dreaded the moment she would have to come back with him. She could perceive his angry feelings towards her and Draco. Save that Draco would stay at home, far away from Hogwarts while she would have to confront Severus once back to the castle.

"We have to come back to Hogwarts, Lucius. Narcissa, thank you for the lunch, excellent as always."

"Can't you stay for the rest of the afternoon with us, Severus ? We would enjoy Lorena's company and talent…" Narcissa said.

"No, Narcissa, I'm sorry but there are several things that requires my attention at school. Miss Nottingham has to come back with me as I've been ordered to look after her, if you see what I mean, Lucius."

The understatement was obvious for his fellow Death-Eater. "Yes, you're right, Severus. We cannot afford to disobey the orders we receive. Miss Nottingham, our pleasure to have met you and for the privilege to have heard such a fine musician as yourself."

Both men had understood each other. Severus put on his cloak then he helped Lorena to put on her own cloak. She had thanked the Malfoys for their welcome then put on her gloves and scarf. She had reduced her violin so that it could be stored in her cloak pocket. She checked that her wand was still sheathed in her right sleeve. She was ready. They bid goodbye again and left. Once outside the manor limits, Severus grabbed Lorena forcefully against him. Through their physical contact, she felt he was real angry, full of an anger he had kept in check until now. But soon he would not be able to hold it any longer. The explosion would be terrible. She was afraid of him but she hid it the best she could, keeping a submissive attitude when dealing with him.

In a split second, they Disapparated back to Hogwarts.

* * *

_**Things are getting complicated with the Malfoys thrown in for good measure. Though this meeting will be decisive for the further development of the story.**__** Stay tuned !**_

_**Severus at his best in his possessiveness and anger – held in control for the time being. But for how long ?**_

_**For all those out of there who are geniuses and wizards with drawing and photo-manip, please feel free to use my work to spur your imagination - just provide me with the link so that I can admire your work and leave a review for it.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	61. Delicious brutality

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**6****1 – Delicious brutality**

They Apparated back at the gates of the castle. The gates had already been enchanted close. Severus lifted the wards and they entered the school grounds. Once inside, he put the closing wards back into place. The clinging sound of the gates closing and the magical chains coming back into place, sounded ominously to Lorena like the door of a prison cell. It was the first time in all her school career that she feared literally to come back to Hogwarts. She was trapped.

Without a word, Severus grabbed her hand in his. He dragged her along with him. "Let's go for a walk, you and me." His voice carried something definitely dangerous despite its softness. Lorena was alone with a powerful wizard, a Death-Eater, a man that had already raped her. A man she loved, whose child she was carrying, a man that did not care for her. A man definitively angry after her.

They walked silently together, his hand almost crushing hers in his deathly grip. Lorena did not know where they were going. She had lost her bearings. She just knew that they had left the main path between the gates and the castle. She did not dare ask him where they were heading to, lest this might trigger off a violent reaction from him. So she could only rely on her extra sensorial perception, her wits and her magic. Severus had Occluded his mind tightly. She was now in the dark, the real dark, the bottomless pit of ignorance and fear.

After about fifteen minutes, spent in complete silence, they arrived in a wooded area. Lorena had felt there was less snow on the ground. Some twigs were cracking under their feet. She thought that they were now in a forest. The Forbidden Forest ? No, they could move freely, there were not so many bushes around. The wood was not thick. They were probably at the edge of the Forbidden Forest only. That meant they were far away from the castle. Her fear increased – nobody would come to her rescue if she needed it. She could rely on her intelligence, her magical skills and her talents only.

They stopped suddenly. Severus was still silent, which increased her anxiety. She thought about her child, hoping he would see her belly and that would prevent him from being violent with her. For their son's sake, if not hers.

"Remember that place ?" he asked suddenly.

"What place, sir ? I don't even know where we are !" she protested scornfully despite her fear.

He let go of her hand to grab her face. "The edge of the Forbidden Forest. Nearby the lake. Does that ring a bell to you ?"

The lump in Lorena's throat grew. _He knows. He knows about me and Alastor._ She remembered when Moody had kissed her around here. She had felt the Love-Snakes ring tickling her, signaling her that Severus was around. He must have seen them then. She remained silent.

"Answer me ! When I ask a question, I expect an answer !"

Lorena Occluded her mind to the maximum and turned her head away as much as his powerful grip on her face allowed her.

"As you don't want to reply, I'll seek the answers myself. _Legilimens_ !"

Severus forced his way into her mind with all his might. Lorena resisted the impact of his powerful assault, letting out a painful cry, grabbing his cloak in despair while trying to escape his embrace. She countered his assault by sending him a love wave as much powerful, hoping to soothe him.

He launched a second assault on her mind, more powerful than the first. She screamed a second time, tears welling up in her eyes. He felt her resistance crumbling. She found the energy to send him a second love wave. _Severus… please… don't…_

_Legilimens_ ! There were cracks in her defenses and he glimpsed a few memories. Nonetheless, her Occlumency was good, really good. He felt proud of her, because he had trained her himself. The memories he saw were meaningless to him. As long as she resisted him, there was nothing he could do to get to the truth.

"You don't want to speak, Lorena," he growled. "So far so bad for you then. _LEGILIMENS_ !" He put all his powers, all his might, fueled by his anger, his jealousy, his possessiveness, his despair, into the spell. The intention, the fuel of magic, was there, very present.

This time, the assault was devastating. She let out a long, painful cry, grabbing his cloak, sagging against him. He ravaged her soul, her defenses crashing down one after the other. Her mind was now opened to his investigation.

The Potions Master was not disappointed. He saw the snogging between her and Draco on the evening before, but no traces of any memories of any sexual intercourse between the pair. Then he went on to other memories. One he recognized for having been a witness thereof, when Alastor Moody had kissed her. But he found one particular memory Lorena wished he would have never discovered. When she had had sex with Alastor, just before the holidays.

Severus was so much flabbergasted by the discovery that he let go of her. She sagged down, kneeling at his feet in the snow, her head between her hands, so much the pain had been intense and still there, barely subsiding.

He closed his eyes. The ex-Auror had possessed her. She had given herself to Moody. She had belonged to Moody. She had had pleasure with Moody. She had come between his arms. _While she is mine ! MINE !_ He wanted to scream his own distress too but he remained silent. The quietness around was disturbed only by the faint sound of her sobs.

His eyes fell on her form at his feet. Severus was utterly furious. He grabbed her arms, drawing a sound of pain and fright from her. "So you had sex with Moody ? Did you like it, to be his whore ? Yes, of course, you did. Looks like, from your memories. How many times did he fuck you ?" He shook her violently. "You said you loved me while you've been fucked by him. You betrayed me !"

"Please… Professor… let me go…"

"No, I won't let you go, Lorena. You're mine ! You know it. Remember the Unbreakable Vow ? Remember you carry my son ? No ? Right… I'll remind you then ! After what I'm going to do to you, you won't seek pleasure from any other man, I can promise you that ! You're mine, you hear ? MINE !" He tightened his grip on her. "I'm not the kind of man to be cheated by his woman. You're my woman, Lorena, and I'm going to prove it right now !" His voice dripped with possessiveness and lust, in a raspy growl.

Lorena was utterly frightened by what was to happen next. "No ! Please !" She tried to disentangle herself from his firm grip but all she managed to do was ending up rolling in the snow with him. After an unfair fight, Severus pinned her to the ground with his weight. He imprisoned her wrists in one of his nervous hands. His other hand was trying to weasel its way under her dress.

Lorena gathered his purpose at once. "No, Professor… Let me go ! Let me go ! Please, sir… don't !…"

"That day… when I saw you both here… He kissed you and you liked it. I'm sure you would have said 'yes' if he had held you like I do now, beneath him ! You didn't say 'no' to Moody when he fucked you eventually ! You gave him what you deny to me ! You gave him something that belongs to me only ! Now is payback time, Lorena ! I'll take from you what is rightfully mine, to a point you won't even wish to have any other man touching you ! Not even Moody ! Not even Draco ! Because young Mr Malfoy was the next one, wasn't he ?"

"No ! Draco's just a friend…"

"A friend that you snogged thoroughly ! I saw you in the common room yesterday ! I admire your sense of friendship !" he replied sarcastically. "A shame your sense of faithfulness isn't as much developed !" he said with scorn, a scorn meant to hurt her.

"You don't understand…"

"Oh, yes I do ! You had planned to be fucked by him tonight at Malfoy Manor ? Unless you had wished to enjoy both father and son ? That's why you were there ? Those pure-bloods enjoy a good fuck with a little Mudblood whore like you !"

It was pure jealousy speaking. His scathing, crude words horrified her. Severus was so much angry after her he had not even realized he had just used a word he had sworn himself to never use again, after his fallout with Lily. The very word that had broken his friendship with her – and his love for her.

"No !" she protested ardently. "No… Not at all !"

"So why did you have sex with Moody then ? While I was here, ready to keep you satisfied !" He crushed his lips on hers for a brutal kiss. She felt his hot hand between her thighs. She managed to free herself from his kiss by biting into his tongue.

His response was immediate. Enraged, Severus slapped her cheek violently before plundering her mouth with his again, taking her tongue with his brutally, prelude to his ruthless possession of hers. It was so good. He let his passion for her, all the lust and need he felt for her, take him over completely. Delicious brutality…

"As for your escapade this morning… not only you're a slut, but you're just a silly girl ! Did you realize that you were heading right into the lion's den ? Lucius Malfoy hates Muggle-borns like you as much as he enjoys sex with them – preferably non-consensually. He would have taken you first, before sharing you with his son. You should thank me for taking you away from them !"

"So that I could be raped by _you_, instead of _him_ ?" she replied scathingly.

"Yes… like I dream of doing so every single day of my bloody life ! You're mine, mine only, don't forget it ! Mine for the taking ! But not for the sharing ! I don't share what is MINE !"

His words frightened her. She knew she was no match against his physical strength and his magic. She thought about her son. At this point, she was almost ready to give in to him, if it meant no harm to her baby. Which she was not sure though. Hung as he was, he could hurt her and the fetus, especially if he took her like he planned to do.

"Please, Professor… no… my baby… don't…"

Severus was deaf to her pleas. He wanted her so much. "You deny me what you give freely to others. That is _NOT_ acceptable, Lorena ! You're mine ! MINE !" His mouth kissed her neck when she turned her head away to avoid his lips.

She felt his teeth grazing her neck. Suddenly, she felt a searing pain there. She let out a small cry, as much out of surprise than hurt. She realized then that he had bitten her. His next words confirmed her sensation. "You're mine, I've marked you ! Mine… mine…" He sucked her there a little. "Oh, you taste so good, Lorena… You're marked as mine now ! MINE !" The taste of her blood sent him straight to another memory with a jolt seizing his body and soul. The memory of the powerful ritual they had shared in the cave, when he had kissed and caressed with his tongue the inside of her thighs, then her womanhood, licking her blood there, just after having deflowered her. Delicious brutality…

Lorena had read somewhere that some wizards bit their mates that way to assert their possession of them, in some kind of blood ritual, an heirloom of the past in the magical world. She gathered that somehow, by biting his tongue in his previous kiss, she had marked him too… Marked him as _hers_…

No, she had not wanted that. She was just trying to defend herself. While he had all the more consciously bit her to mark her as his. Prelude to a more thorough possession of her body. Such a gesture was not innocent from a man like Severus Snape.

Once more, he was about to abuse her. "I want you, Lorena, like I've never wanted a woman before," he went on with a lustful, raspy voice. "I'll give you a lesson you won't forget, so that you'll never go to another man after that, except me !" he snarled, a vicious tone in his voice. "You're mine ! Through and through ! I'll take you anytime I want to do so. Because you're mine !" His dark eyes, which she could not see, glittered with want and passion.

Lorena was so frightened that she felt her magic escaping her control. Or was it her psychokinetic abilities ? She could not have told. Suddenly, she heard a loud cracking sound above, quickly followed by a thud. She felt an extra weight falling on her, that robbed her of her breath for a few seconds.

Complete silence followed. The man on top of her moved no more. Lorena managed to catch her breath quickly. The sharp scent of pine tree resin made her realize that a big branch had fallen from the tree above them, covering them both together in a canopy of needles.

She realized also that Severus was no longer moving. She freed her wrists from his grip now loose. In panic, she ran a finger on his neck. With a breath of relief, she felt his pulse. The branch had knocked him into unconsciousness only. She could feel his light breath on her neck too.

She tried to move him but Severus was heavier than her. Tall, heavy, strong. She managed to calm down first, despite her tears still streaming down her cheeks. She regained control over herself and used her psychokinetic abilities to remove the branch. Then she moved his body, rolling with him. She was now on top of him. "Oh, Severus…" She caressed his pale cheek. "Why… why does it always end up in violence between you and me…"

She cried a bit, silently, burying her face on his chest, clinging to his cloak. His heart was still beating and he was breathing regularly. She regained a grip on herself. What if he had been seriously wounded ? It could be a matter of minutes.

_There's nothing I can do. __I could carry him back to the castle with a Levitation Charm. But I don't even know exactly where we are and where the castle is from here. _She thought for long seconds, wondering what she could do. She caressed his face gently. Memories of them together in the cave came back to her. Happy memories. When he had loved her.

Lorena knew what she would do at once. She took out her wand from her sleeve. "_Expecto Patronum_ !", focusing hard on the happy memories they had shared together in the cave, the pleasure they had had in each other's arms, when Severus had proven to her he was a caring and gentle lover. The lover he should have always been. The lover she hoped he still was deep down inside of him.

A silvery tiger formed at the tip of her wand. It came closer to her, in a sensual movement. "Hagrid. Hagrid's hut. Go and bring back Hagrid." The tiger left her side and jumped between the trees before disappearing in the distance. Lorena hoped that the half-giant was in his hut indeed.

Lorena kept focused on her Patronus. She wanted to use her magic to heal the wound Severus had received on the back of his head. She had felt some blood on her fingers there, already clogging his hair together. Yet, it was too much for her mind, heavily strained between her struggle against the mental rape Severus had carried out on her, her various emotions, and the need to maintain her Patronus under its corporeal form up to the moment Hagrid arrived.

She tried to retrieve her handkerchief to clean his face, but she remembered she had left it on her bed. She sighed. She used her cloak hem. Once done, she coiled herself against Severus, trying to keep him warm – and herself too. She estimated it was still daylight as they had left Malfoy Manor a bit after two o'clock.

She kept focused on her Patronus, refusing to cry over her situation, lest sad concerns may annihilate her silvery messenger. She just continued to caress Severus' face gently, remembering all her happy memories she had had thanks to him. An outburst of love rose from her heart and she leaned to him to kiss him softly on his lips. "I love you, Severus. Oh, how much I love you !"

He was still out cold when Hagrid arrived. Her fine hearing heard him call. "Hagrid ! This way ! Here ! Hagrid ! Follow my voice !" she called out. She gave up focusing on her Patronus. She checked his pulse and found out it was still there, steady and firm. She decided she could use her magical healing abilities now to at least stop the bleeding.

"Lorena ! What happened ?"

Lorena could not tell Hagrid – or anybody else – that an uncontrolled outburst of her magic or psychokinetics had broken a branch above the head of the Potions Master who was trying to have his way with her in a non-consensual fashion.

"We were having a walk together here when a branch cracked and fell on Professor Snape. He protected me with his body but he took most of the shock, I'm afraid," she lied convincingly.

"Poor Professor Snape… Always there to protect others and never protecting himself," Hagrid said softly. "I'll carry him back to the castle, Lorena. Don't you worry. Just cling to my cloak."

"Alright, Hagrid. Just don't walk too fast."

"I won't."

"I'm so happy you've been able to respond to my Patronus."

"It was your Patronus ? Oh, when I saw that beautiful tiger… a real beauty… We should have some for real here…"

"They are not magical creatures, you know. Rather savage actually."

"You're mighty powerful to be able to produce a Patronus and maintain it over quite a distance." He looked at her. "You look shattered, Lorena."

"I am, I guess. Professor Snape pushed me to the ground and I think I got bruised under his weight. I hope he's not too much wounded. I stopped the bleeding on his head."

Hagrid turned Severus' head delicately. He was used to caring for creatures. A human was a creature. "I don't think it's that serious. He's just knocked out with the shock. Ms Pomfrey will see to that. Now, let's go." Hagrid took Severus' body into his arms, after rolling him carefully in his cloak. Then they left the place, Lorena grabbing the giant's cloak hem. "If you let go of me, shout at me, so that I could stop. I don't want to lose you in all that snow."

"Thank you, Hagrid. You saved the day for us."

Deep down her heart, Lorena thanked the branch that had broken above Severus. She was about to thank the Providence that had saved her miraculously when she realized that it had been her uncontrolled bout of magic that had done all the work.

_Too much love will kill you, Severus. _Well, it had almost – this time.

* * *

_**Ah, I love playing with Severus' possessiveness...**_

_**Looks also like Hagrid has real respect for Severus – though his judgment may look wrong about him, Hagrid is not so off the mark regarding Severus' ability to protect others.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	62. To lie or not to lie

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**6****2 – To lie or not to lie**

Hagrid carried Severus to the Hospital Wing, Lorena still clinging to him. She wanted Ms Pomfrey to check on her baby too, afraid that her child may have sustained some damage after what had happened between her and the Potions Master – though she lied to her too about the real events.

Poppy was there and she gasped when she saw Severus in Hagrid's arms. He had not regained consciousness yet. Lorena looked shattered too. She instructed Hagrid to lay the Potions Master in a bed in the section reserved to the staff, while she led Lorena to a chair nearby.

Hagrid dismissed himself and went back to his hut before the night fell. Lorena thanked him heartily again. Poppy asked her what had happened and Lorena repeated her story. The young woman made a mental note to tell Severus to stick to that story of hers, hoping he would not be mad at her once he was around. Something told her that he would stick to her story – he had never said anything to anybody about the rape he had committed against her early September, not even to Dumbledore. She was sure he would not say a word about his attempt this time either. He was too much proud of his own self-control to admit to someone else how a slave to his passion for her he had become, to the point he had raped her once already and was about to do it a second time – without counting what had happened in the Restricted Section of the library.

Ms Pomfrey checked Severus' wounds and declared there was nothing to be worried about. She cleaned the wound and bandaged his head. This kind of wounds were always impressive as they bled a lot but otherwise, he would recover quickly. She had noticed that the young woman had used her healing magic to stop the bleeding. Then she took Lorena with her to check on her too. Every thing was fine for the baby.

"Are you sure you're okay, Lorena ?" Poppy asked. She was concerned about the sad look on the young woman's face.

Fortunately, Poppy had not noticed the mark Severus had made on Lorena's neck when he had bitten her there. The young witch did not wish anyone to see that. She still felt a little painful there, she would surely be bruised, probably like a love-bite. _Love-bite…_ the term made her smile sadly. Yet, all she could remember was his tongue sucking at her skin there in a warm caress. Almost healing. She put two fingers there and only felt something that seemed like a scar. No more blood. Not even a clot. Would he have healed her when he had sucked her there ? _How could someone with such a scathing tongue as his, could also be able to… heal with it too ? _She made a mental note to enquire about this kind of blood ritual. _Not now though. I don't want to raise suspicions. It's too much… intimate. _For sure, she would not ask Severus about it either.

Lorena could lie about the circumstances of the accident. But she could not lie about her own state of mind. "Yes, yes, I'm fine, Ms Pomfrey. It's just that… for a moment, I thought the branch had… had killed him."

The medi-witch watched her carefully. "You love him, don't you ?"

Lorena had to fight the tears welling up in her eyes. "Yes, I do," she whispered. She loved Severus indeed but she did not know if she could put up with him, with his violent feelings for her, with his passion that translated most of the times into violence and brutality against her.

"You may stay with Severus, if you wish. I'll tell the Headmaster what had happened. Albus will surely want to know where his favorite spy and Potions Master is."

Lorena managed to smile. "I'll stay with him. Don't you worry."

"Tell me as soon as he regains consciousness. It should be soon."

"I will." Lorena sat on the bed where Severus was lying. She took one of his hands in hers. Her other hand caressed his face. Silent tears fell from her eyes. She recalled all the violent things he had told her in the forest. Cruel, crude, rude words. Words that showed his feral relationship with her. They had not been words of love. But it was undeniable they had been words uttered out of passion. Despite his usual countenance and collected demeanor, Severus was a man full of passion, a passion that ran high in his blood, a passion he could not express to her as she refused it, as she refused him. A passion that consumed him to the bone, overwhelming his reason in the process.

_How much I__'d love to have you again, Severus. To make love with you. To give every thing willfully to you. To surrender myself to you. I love you but I can't stay with you if all you have to offer me is your brutality and violence. I can't go on like this. I just simply can't. So much love, too much love will kill me. And Alan._

Lorena leaned on his chest and rested her head there, enjoying his body warmth. Poppy had removed his cloak and opened his frock coat and waist coat to check for other wounds. Lorena slid a hand between the waist coat and the white shirt, her fingers stroking the fabric and his torso under. She sighed. It came to her mind that she could enjoy that man only when he was out cold or sleeping – that is, not dangerous for her. The thought stabbed her heart and she wept silently.

A few minutes later, she felt a male hand caressing her hair gently. "Lorena ?" a deep, silky voice asked softly.

She raised her head. "Professor ? You're…" Her voice croaked. She could not say nothing more. Her hands searched his face. A few seconds later, she put a delicate kiss on his lips. His lips parted a bit, letting her access his tongue, letting her possess him in that kiss.

"Oh, Professor… I thought… I thought I had… killed you… when that branch fell on you…" she whispered after breaking the kiss. She was so relieved he was around and fine.

"Why do you say so ?" Severus had been pleased to receive a kiss when coming around. Lorena had felt it through their physical contact.

"The branch… it broke because… I was so afraid… afraid of you… of what you'd do to me… my magic…"

"Your magic escaped you," he said simply.

She nodded. "Thanks Merlin, you're alive."

Severus felt she was sincere in her confession. "It's fine. I'm fine. Just a bit groggy but alright." He stroked her cheek and wiped her tears away in a sweet gesture of his thumb. _I deserved it._

She had been utterly afraid of him. He remembered every thing. The ugly, crude, violent words he had said against her. He had been about to rape her again, he could have hurt her and the baby too in the process. He felt overwhelmed by a deep feeling of shame. "Who brought us back here ?"

"Hagrid. I cast the Patronus Charm and my tiger went to his hut to warn him we were in trouble. He came back, carried you here, with me tagging along."

"Good thinking, Lorena." He watched her empty pale gray eyes. "And… what did you say to Hagrid about… how that branch fell… on us ?"

"I… I just said that it broke above our heads and that you… you fell on me to protect me from its impact, shielding me with your own body."

He looked at her, surprised. "Why did you lie ?" was his next question.

"Lie ?"

"Yes. You lied." His tone was not accusatory. He just stated a fact. She had lied to Hagrid, she had most likely lied to Ms Pomfrey. She would certainly lie to other people, the Headmaster in particular.

"Professor, I…" _I lied because I don't want you to have problems because of your violent behavior with me. You may be expelled and I don't want this. I lied because I love you. _"You know why I lied. You already know the reason why." She removed herself from him and broke the physical contact with him. "I have to tell Ms Pomfrey you're awake. I'll be back in a few minutes."

She left him with his thoughts. _Why would she lie after what I had told her and almost done to her ?_ But inside, Severus knew the reason. _She loves me. _He sighed. He had a hard time with her loving him, after every thing he had said and done to her in the past. He could not admit that someone could love him like she did.

Ms Pomfrey came to his side and checked his wound and other vitals. "Thanks Merlin, Severus, you're fine. But I'll keep you here for the rest of the day. You'll spend the night here too and if everything is fine, I'll release you tomorrow."

"Do I really have to spend the night here, Poppy, if everything is fine ?" he asked, annoyed.

"You shall," she said peremptorily. "If you disagree, see with the Headmaster. I'm sure he'll agree with me as he doesn't want to take any risk losing you."

Severus wanted to tell her that Albus Dumbledore had _never_ hesitated to send him into harm's way but the medi-witch's authoritative look in her eyes dissuaded him from protesting any further. Besides, there was no emergency to tend to, no class to prepare or give, no meeting to attend, nothing. He just hoped that the Dark Lord would not summon him tonight.

Speaking of the devil, Albus Dumbledore showed up. "What happened, Severus ? Poppy told me that you were wounded. Oh, Lorena, good afternoon," he said turning his head to the young woman.

"Good afternoon, Professor," the young woman replied.

"So, what happened, Severus ?" the Headmaster asked again, this time his eyes meeting the dark gaze of his Potions Master.

Severus knew he was in for a Legilimency ride from the Headmaster. Between Dumbledore and Voldemort – his two masters – he had plenty of occasions to train and perfect his own Occlumency powers. He felt strong enough to hide what he wanted. He could not let the Headmaster know that he, Professor Severus Snape, Potions Master at Hogwarts, had been about to rape one of his students, a young woman he had made pregnant and to which he had been bonded with an Unbreakable Vow and a life-debt.

Severus perceived Lorena's tension too, though they were not in physical contact. "We were walking nearby the lake, at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. A branch fell over us. I pushed Miss Nottingham to protect her, but it hit us nonetheless. We fell to the ground together."

"How did you manage to come back here ?" Albus asked. "Lorena ?"

"I thought… I believed that Professor Snape had been killed but I checked his pulse. He was alive. I could not come back to the castle by myself so I cast my Patronus to fetch Hagrid. He came to us, he carried Professor Snape in his arms and I followed, to the castle."

"Right. Your Patronus tiger was once more very useful indeed, I believe." He was alluding to the Dementor defeated by her Patronus during the Hogsmeade attack in November.

Lorena said nothing. She was relieved that Severus had stuck to her story eventually. She let out her breath imperceptibly. She had bet on his intelligence and pride. He was too much proud to admit his loss of control over his passion. He was too much intelligent to take the risk of losing his job because of the deed he had been about to commit against her. She deemed this was a personal business that concerned her and her 'almost lover' only.

"He'll stay here for the night, Albus," Poppy said.

"Headmaster…" the Potions Master began.

"No, Severus. If Poppy says you stay here, you shall obey her orders," Dumbledore said firmly. "Nothing more to discuss."

Severus rolled his eyes to the ceiling. He had lost, he knew it.

"But if Lorena thinks she feels fine enough, she can stay here with you to keep you company," Albus added with a smile, a twinkle in his steely blue eyes. "I believe you were wounded too," he said to the young woman.

Lorena blushed and lowered her eyes. "Oh, just a few scraps and bruises. Nothing serious. I'm healed. I can stay here if needed." She Occluded her mind – she did not wish the Headmaster to see in her mind what Severus must have hidden. She hoped he would not notice the 'love-bite' on her neck either.

"Alright, every thing is sorted out then," Albus said and he left the Hospital Wing.

Poppy looked at Lorena : "If something looks strange to you, you let me know. I'm in my office." She left them alone. "Yet, I advise you, Severus, to have a nap. The same goes for you, Lorena. Have rest, especially in your condition."

"Yes, ma'am," she said softly.

Severus took Lorena's hand as she was nearby. She turned herself to him. "Come here, Lorena. You heard Ms Pomfrey ? You need rest." He tugged her arm towards him gently. Lorena sat on the bed, shyly. "Lay down with me." She obeyed. True she was drained by the rows and fights they had had together since this morning. He moved aside to give her room so that she could lay beside him on the narrow bed. She was cautious, almost reluctant, a bit afraid. He perceived it and he took her in his arms gently. She had her head resting on his chest. She felt his arms rounding her, dragging her against him in a tender embrace. His body was warm. While he had been unconscious, she had not hesitated a single second to touch him, even caress him. Now he was awake, she was shy, prudent. One of his arms rounded her shoulders, holding her tight against his body. His other hand rested on her belly. Everything in his embrace showed his possessiveness.

"Are you okay ?" he asked softly.

"Yes, Professor."

"Good." He tightened his embrace around her in a tender movement. At the same time, he searched his frock coat pocket from which he retrieved something. Something he put in her hand. Soft fabric. "I think this belongs to you. I've found it on your bed when I had come to pick you up earlier today. You had…" _Discarded. Like you had discarded me_. "… forgotten it there. Your handkerchief."

"Oh, thank you, Professor… I'd rather say it's _your_ handkerchief."

"True. But you have it with you for so long a time, that I do no longer consider it mine. Keep it as yours." _Keep _me_ as yours._ Severus wanted to ask her why she had kept it, for so long – though he suspected the reason why. The same reason that had prompted her to lie to Hagrid, Poppy and Dumbledore. He let it go.

Lorena was on her guard. She did not think he would be able to display violence against her again, here, in the middle of the Hospital Wing, even if the room reserved to the staff patients was now deserted. Ms Pomfrey was still nearby.

_Relax_, she heard in her mind. Through their bond, through their physical contact, he had managed to speak to her.

_I'm afraid_, she replied.

_We__'re exhausted, you and me. Let's sleep. _

It was as if the physical shock he had received had buried his reservoir of violence deep down himself. He was in control of his emotions again. She could feel it. Besides, she was in his arms, where he wanted her to be. So there was no reason for him to be brutal with her.

Severus began to caress her belly gently. So she surrendered to him and began to relax in his arms. She was in his arms, where she wanted to be, deep down herself.

* * *

**_To lie or not to lie, that is the question..._**

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	63. On the Astronomy Tower

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**6****3 – On the Astronomy Tower**

On the day after, Severus was released from the Hospital Wing. Lorena had left him for dinner, had come back to keep him company for a part of the evening, then she had come back to her dorm for the night. She had spent the remainder of the evening alone, thinking about her relationship with Severus. It was an emotional roller-coaster she could not take any longer with him. She had decided she would go and see the Headmaster, to find out how she could be released from the part in the Unbreakable Vow that bonded Severus to marry her. She would give another reason for their fallout. She would not say he had already raped her and would have done it again, had it not been for that branch. Of course, she did not wish Severus to die. She just wanted they would be both released from that part only. Even if that meant she would be left alone to fend for herself with a child born out of wedlock – with all the gloomy consequences for her from the wizarding community. _It can't be worse than his brutality._

The weather was dull, cold and it threatened to snow again. Very few students stayed there – mostly orphans or youngsters at odd with their families – about a dozen of them all in all. Lorena was the only Slytherin left behind. Alone again but she did not mind. She wondered if this time, the Headmaster would insist that she shared Professor Snape's quarters, like during Summer. She considered the possibility. _No way. I'd say no. I can stay here in my dorm. I'm fine there. _Apparently, Dumbledore had said nothing so far. The situation was different from Summer, as now she was used to her dorm environment.

When she had come back to her dorm, she had given her precious violin its normal size. She had played the piece called _Remembrances_ and cried once she was finished, cried over her love, her 'almost lover'. She loved him, she loved his moments of tenderness, like the one they had just shared in the Hospital Wing. But she could not go on with him. Even less with a child to raise, a child that would need emotional stability from his parents. Better be alone.

She decided to go out for a moment. She took her cloak and scarf and headed for the Astronomy Tower. Not exactly outside, yet one of the rare places where one could find quiet. One of her favorites too, with the lake shore and the Room of Requirement. But she was not in a mood to play music. She needed silence.

Now she was alone with Severus in that part of the castle, the only Slytherins to remain in the dungeons. She hoped he would just forget her there. She needed peace to think about the future. Her future. Her son's future. She knew she had to see the Headmaster too, because of the Unbreakable Vow.

She had arrived at the top of the Tower, a bit out of breath. Under her cloak, her hand roamed over her belly in a gentle caress. She had felt Alan moving. She sent him love waves too. She had noticed that it calmed him down.

_How am I going to do with a child ? I'm blind !_ Anxiety suddenly burst out. She felt trapped between contradictory thoughts. She wanted to be free from Severus while knowing that it would be very difficult to raise a child alone, blind and poor, especially in the wizarding world. She sighed. She had read that pregnant women had mood swings every now and then, along with oversensitive reactions. Except that this time, her melancholia was more due to her reasoning than to her feelings.

She loved Severus. Yet, she could not stay with him. She was blind, young, poor. Yet she preferred to be alone to raise her child, than to be submitted to a man's violence.

"You should not stay out like this, in the wind," she heard a deep, silky voice behind her. Severus' unmistakable voice. She turned herself towards the voice. How had he found her ? Had he followed her up there ?

"How did you know I was here, Professor ?"

"I wanted to be here for a quiet moment. This place is the one I prefer in the whole castle. You happened to be here too."

"I love this place as well, Professor."

She felt his presence coming closer to her. "How strange. Usually people come here to take in the view."

"Is that strange because I'm… I'm blind ? Is that what you meant, Professor ? Not everyone come here for the view, you know, sir. Besides, I haven't always been blind either."

"I agree. Quiet and solitude are other valid reasons – blind or not."

She took his reply as a peace offering. "I'm sorry, Professor, I shouldn't have snapped at you. I guess that my…" She put her hand on her belly. "My pregnancy makes me more sensitive."

"It is said indeed that pregnant women have mood swings."

_Oh, he does know that ?_ she thought. He was not so indifferent to her condition then. The wind picked up and Lorena shivered under her cloak.

Somehow, Severus noticed it and he wrapped his arms around her in a warm embrace, similar to the way he had hugged her in the Hospital Wing bed the day before. His black school robes offered her a shield against the wind. "You should not stay here in the cold, Lorena."

"I'm not cold, Professor. Now, let me go. I appreciate your gesture but let me go."

"Don't. Lie. To. Me. Lorena," he said detaching each word so that they could better sink in her mind. "You're shivering. Won't do you any good to stay here."

"I'm not and I want to stay here, Professor." _Away from you, if possible._

"Think of our son then !"

"_Our_ son ?" A hint of sarcasm could be heard in her voice.

This time, Severus turned her in his arms so that she could face him. "Yes, _our_ son. As you seem so little concerned about your own welfare, and therefore that of _our_ son, I need to take over at this stage." He began to drag her to go back downstairs.

Lorena resisted his grip. "Let me go ! Let me go !" Panic could be heard in her voice. What would be next ? Did he intend to brutalize her here ? Again ?

Severus had no other choice than to put his hand on her mouth to silence her. "Lorena, please," he growled menacingly. "Don't be that difficult."

She was scared now and Severus felt it. "I won't hurt you, Lorena. I promise you," he whispered softly. With his free hand, he brushed aside a lock of her curly raven hair. "Actually, I need to talk to you. Now. But I don't want to do this here in the cold. Let's go downstairs. We can come back here later when the weather gets nicer." _If it does. Not likely._

Lorena knew she could not go against his will – he was stronger than her. He could compel her to do whatever he wanted and not necessarily with the help of the _Imperius_ Curse or any other magic. He had already done so. She surrendered to his will and they both went downstairs.

They did not go very far, just one level below. At least, they were sheltered from the cold wind and the sleet that had begun to fall. At the same time, they were outside, as this was considered part of the Astronomy Tower complex. The air was still chilly but they were no longer pelted by the wind. The Potions Master cast a silencing spell around them, so that nobody could overhear them – especially students that would have had the same idea to go up to the Astronomy Tower. The place was well known to be convenient for romantic trysts.

Severus found a bench where they could both sit together. He led her there and she sat. He sat on his turn, very close to her, throwing his arm around her shoulders in a warming gesture, his black school robes still shielding her. Lorena did not move, she welcomed his attention silently. "Are you alright now ? It's better here."

She nodded. "You wished to talk to me, Professor," she replied business-like.

"Yes, Lorena. I'll be straightforward. I want you to come with me to Spinner's End for the holidays."

A puzzled look showed on her face. "But why ? What's that story ? Sir ?"

"I want you to come with me to Spinner's End," Severus repeated. "That's as simple as that."

"_You want me to…_" she snorted. Still his same commanding voice. "But for what purpose ?" She scowled at him. "Professor, don't tell me there's none. We Slytherins always do things with a purpose. Unless yours is too much… shameful to be revealed ?" Her tone was definitely scornful.

Severus could understand her question, after what he had intended to do to her nearby the Forest. He Occluded his mind in case she may pick up something there on this matter. Yet, he decided to tell her the truth. "Now listen to me, Lorena. Carefully." He took a deep breath. "Remember the attack in November at Hogsmeade ? The Dark Lord was behind it, of course. This was a test from him. To test _me_, if I carried out his orders to the letter. Of course, I hadn't been present to protect you on that day. Needless to say I was severely punished for that failure of mine when I reported to him early December. I decided to take a few days away from the school. At home. Therefore, I'll take you with me, so that I can keep an eye on you." He paused, letting the words sink in her. "Lorena… I cannot afford to displease the Dark Lord once more. I'm sure you understand what that means." His tone had something pressing and anxious.

_So __it had been this then_, Lorena thought. _When I could not sleep that night because… because I had felt he was in trouble or in danger or in pain. Or all of that._ She perceived that this role as a double-agent was becoming heavier and heavier for him. A surge of compassion for him and everything he had to endure for the Order of the Phoenix – and for her – rose in her heart. "Does Professor Dumbledore know about all this, sir ?"

"Yes, he does. He had been the very first person to know as I report to him as…" He glanced around and decided to remain silent.

_As his spy for the Order_, Lorena finished his sentence in her mind. _I'd bet on that._ "And does he agree to your… taking me away for the Christmas break, Professor ?"

"Yes, he does. He knows that as long as you're with me, you're safe. He understands the need for me to obey the Dark Lord's orders to the letter. He understands as well that I need a few days away."

_Apparently, the goo__d old Headmaster does not know everything. Otherwise, he would not even let him approach me._ Lorena had not gotten over yet the matter of Severus raping her on that fateful morning. She loved him but would she be able to get over it one day ?

"I think I'd be far safer if I stay at Hogwarts, Professor." Her tone was distant and cold, her empty pale gray gaze trained in the void in front of her. She was not alluding to her safety with regards to the Dark Lord – but to the Potions Master himself.

"You need to get away from here as much as I do." He had spoken softly.

Slowly, her head turned to the man sitting close to her. She could and could not grasp the meaning of his sentence. She could – true, the harsh weather conditions had virtually imprisoned everyone here, student and staff alike, for almost a month. She felt there was a meaning behind the words but she could not make anything of it.

"That's why, I guess, you wanted to leave with Draco Malfoy." It was the first time he alluded to the young man. "I can rely on your intelligence to understand that this was a particularly foolish gesture of yours anyway. It meant that I wasn't able to keep watch over you, something that Lucius Malfoy would have gladly reported to the Dark Lord if I had not showed up before the night. Not only I would have been punished again for that other failure of mine, but I let you imagine what would have happened to you if the Dark Lord had decided to assign Lucius Malfoy as your guardian and protector, instead of me. The Dark Lord would have discovered that you were not pregnant with his child. You would have been punished too. There would have been nothing that I could have done to save you then – provided I would not have fallen into complete disgrace in the meantime." He sighed. "I let you imagine all the consequences, regarding your pregnancy and your safety in general." _And mine too._ "Know that I cannot change the Dark Lord's mind." He sighed. "At last, Lucius Malfoy would have been too glad to use you as his personal…"

"Mudblood whore, I know," Lorena cut him off sharply. "You already told me that, Professor." Resent could be heard in her voice. She rose to her feet, stepping away from him.

Severus realized he had hurt her deeply. He came to her, putting his hands on her shoulders, from behind. "My words have gone further than my thoughts yesterday," he whispered to her ear.

Lorena realized this would be the closest she would receive as an apology from him. "You uttered them nonetheless, sir," she said bitterly.

"I shouldn't have. I…" He wondered if he should tell her the reason of his fallout with Lily. "I had promised myself long ago, to never use that word again."

"Which one ?" she asked sarcastically. "_Mudblood_ or _whore_ ?"

"Mudblood. I shouldn't have use it."

Lorena turned to face him. "Don't you understand, Professor ? I don't care if stupid pure-bloods call me that. Some of them don't possess half or even a quarter of my magic powers. None of them is a Parselmouth. The Dark Lord chasing me up for these powers is proof enough. I don't care because I'm used to hear it, being the only – and probably the first – Muggle-born to have ever been sorted into Slytherin. Five years ! I had plenty of time to get used to it. No…" She lowered her head. "You told me horrible, cruel things yesterday, just because you did not understand. I doubt you could anyway…"

"Try me."

"Telling you the truth, Professor ? And risking you to… to beat me, to rape me here, to treat me as what you described me yesterday ? As your… _whore_ ?" She raised her empty pale gray eyes to his face, her eyes filled with tears. "If I'm just a whore, if you deem this is the only thing that defines me, so be it. I can't make you change your mind. But then… there's nothing much we have to say to each other, Professor. Just leave me alone."

It dawned on Severus then. She had not been hurt by his calling her a _Mudblood_. She had been hurt by his calling her a _whore_.

"There's the Unbreakable Vow, Lorena."

"I want to see Professor Dumbledore regarding this, sir. He was our Binder. What he bound once, he can unbind it. I want to be released from your vow to marry me once all this would be over."

Severus glared at her. "It doesn't work like that. The magic operating behind an Unbreakable Vow is very specific. It doesn't depend on the parties to the Vow or on the Binder. Once it's done, it's done !"

"Professor Dumbledore's the most powerful wizard of our time. Even the Dark Lord is afraid of him. I'm sure he could do something in our case, Professor." For sure, she would not rely on only one source of information.

"He'll tell you the same thing that I had just told you. Beside, think of it, but he'll ask you _why_ you wish to withdraw from that specific part of the Vow."

"I'll just tell him that I don't want to marry you, that's all. He doesn't need to know anything else."

"He'll try, be sure of that. He'll use Legilimency on you."

"I can resist, Professor. I resisted the Dark Lord. I managed to resist you… until you raped my mind. I'm sure Professor Dumbledore won't be as brutal with me as you were. Besides, I'm more… sensitive with you, less resistant because we are bonded, you and me, by the ritual. I don't share any bond with Professor Dumbledore. Like I don't share any bond with the Dark Lord either. I should be far more resistant with the Headmaster than with you. You know it and I know it too."

_She's right,_ Severus thought. _She can resist. She's a great Occlumens._ "Do what you wish about the Vow. Go and speak with Dumbledore. I can't prevent you from doing so. Yet, if the Dark Lord and the Headmaster have both ordered that I should be your protector, in charge of your safety, you'll have to follow me wherever I want you to follow me." His voice was dripping with sarcasm. "Even if it means following me to Hell. You're lucky, I just go to Spinner's End !"

"Well, I would not expect you to go to Heaven, with everything you already did to me, Professor ! I'm already in Hell. Your brutality, your violence, your behavior with me in general, are my personal version of Hell."

She had spoken with a very determined voice, with a hint of sarcasm. Severus could feel she was sincere though. He remained silent, thinking about her last words. He had behaved with her in a horrendous fashion, making her life a living hell in some regards. The day before, he had almost committed a crime against her that would have made her sojourn in Hell even more permanent – as well as his own.

He took her hand in his, gently. "All the same, Lorena. Dumbledore agreed to me taking you away to Spinner's End. He reckons himself that you need some fresh air outside Hogwarts."

She remained silent, her head turned away from him. She was afraid to spend some time alone with him, considering his past abuse.

"Give me a chance, Lorena, a last chance, to make amends."

_Save your breath_, she wanted to tell him. She said nothing though.

"Please, Lorena."

_I'm not interested._ She remained stubbornly silent.

"Alright. If you take it like this." He had a most dangerous tone in his voice. "What about me telling the Headmaster that Alastor Moody had sex with you, a student ?"

Lorena had a panicked look on her face. "You wouldn't, would you ?"

He smirked. "Oh yes, I would. Either you come with me and I'll keep silent on this. Either you don't, and I'll report Professor Moody to the Headmaster. Matter for him to sack him, don't you think ?" He paused, enjoying her distress. "You wouldn't do that to your lover, would you ?"

"That's blackmail, Professor !"

"Come on, Lorena. As a Slytherin yourself, you should be able to recognize a shrewd scheme when you see one."

"You disgust me !"

"I thought I had already had that effect on you, my dear." Severus was glad that she could not see him – his face displayed the utter enjoyment he felt at this very moment. "I strongly advise you to do as told."

"I suppose I don't have any say in this anyway, Professor," she growled.

"No, you don't." Severus knew at this stage that he had won. "I intend to spend two weeks' time at Spinner's End. Get your trunk ready for that amount of time. Once it's done, use a reducing spell on it and meet me at my office with it. We'll Apparate from my quarters. Be there at 4 o'clock sharp this afternoon."

That was said and Lorena could not go against him. She considered disobeying him – she was of age and free to go or stay wherever she wanted. But at the same time, she knew that if two very powerful wizards like Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape had ruled she had to leave and follow one of them for her protection against another third very powerful wizard, there was nothing much she could do.

The thought hit her full force then. She was just a pawn in a dangerous game. Except that it was not a game. She had been used for her magic and would continue to be so. She was a womb for one of them, carrying a tool to be used for a Dark magic ritual. She had been a body to be plundered by another one so that he could get her powers and avoid them to be taken by the Dark side. She was a leverage used by the third one, despite his constant care and attention to her safety. She was no longer a free person. She did no longer belong to herself – she belonged to these three men.

Lorena felt drained but she mustered enough strength to ask a question she wanted to ask. "What if I disagree with you and the Headmaster, Professor ? What if I won't show up at 4 this afternoon to follow you eventually ?"

Severus watched her. She was brave, but this time with that kind of Gryffindor bravery he loathed sometimes, both foolish and selfish in his opinion, which he loathed even more every time it manifested itself in a Slytherin. He stood up and put his hands on her shoulders. "You do that and I can swear to you that you'll face my… anger and displeasure. I strongly advise you not to fail me." Each of his words had been said in a detached manner, soft and yet threatening. "Remember our little deal regarding Alastor Moody. If you want your lover to stay at Hogwarts, you'd better comply."

This time, she turned on herself to face him. "I think you take too much for granted, Professor. Has it ever crossed your brilliant mind that I may not want to do this anymore ? If ever."

The words echoed strangely a conversation Severus had already had with the Headmaster – about his own part as a spy for the Order. All the more naturally, his reply followed suit, a reply Albus Dumbledore had already served him then. "Whether it has or not is irrelevant. I will not negotiate with you, Lorena. There's nothing more to discuss."

Lorena remained silent. She could recognize a lost cause when she saw one. The Potions Master grabbed her hand in his so that they could go downstairs together. Considering the Astronomy Tower, he did not wish her to make a silly gesture that would cost her – and his – life, if she remained there alone.

"A last thing, Lorena. I want you to go and see Ms Pomfrey before we leave Hogwarts."

"I feel fine," she replied dryly.

"I don't care how _you_ feel now. You'll go and see her before so that she can make sure everything is fine for _our_ son. I don't want an issue to arise once in Spinner's End and having to bring you to a Muggle hospital to check on your pregnancy. You may bring your books about infant care and pregnancy if you wish. You'll leave here those you may have borrowed from the library. I'll take the one you wanted to read about the Love-Snakes – I gathered you didn't have enough time to peruse it during your detentions with me."

Her face lit up a bit at the mention of the said book. "I guess we may go and see her now then, Professor ? I don't like to be interrupted when I pack up."

Severus smirked. He could relate to that. "Yes, of course. Let's go then." He took her hand in his, his fingers entangling with hers. Lorena had a brief thought for Alastor Moody which she buried deep down herself, lest the Potions Master perceive it.

He brought her to Poppy that agreed to check on her before their departure. He had explained the medi-witch that the young woman was to spend the next two weeks with him at Spinner's End. Poppy said nothing but she wondered what this devil of a man had done to the poor girl to get her to come with him again this time. Well, Lorena was of age, she was an adult responsible for herself.

Yet, Poppy decided to give him some advice. She left Lorena in the examination room and went out to her office to have a word with the Potions Master. He was surprised, even afraid that she may give him bad news about the child. What he heard amazed him and somehow it showed on his face.

"Severus. You're going to spend two weeks with Lorena. I don't question what you two plan to do together. Not my business. You're adults. But please, in both mother's and child's interests, be careful with her. Be nice with her. I know, being nice is not your forte, but make an effort this time. Will do you good, you'll see. No contrariety whatsoever. She had enough of those lately. She's in her fifth month, so careful now. The least concern about her health, like bleeding or fever, and you bring her back to me at once. Oh, I forgot to tell you. Albus explained to me that you're… betrothed together. You may still have sex with her, but gently. Keep the rough rides for after her delivery. You've been warned." _With that monster dwelling in his pants…_

She had not left him time to react. He blushed like a schoolboy, especially at the mention of the 'rough rides'. The priceless look on his face alone was worth the risk of his wrath, according to Poppy. "Don't blush like that, Severus. You're a grown man, no longer a fifth-year student. You know what it is all about," she added just for the fun of it.

After all, the medi-witch was probably the only person at Hogwarts – with Lorena, though the young woman was blind – to know how he was really built physically, with all the times Poppy had patched him up after his meetings with the Dark Lord. She knew him physically, even if it had been from a medical perspective only. She knew how he was hung, and her little speech reminded him of how much she knew about him.

"I will be careful, Poppy," Severus growled. Anybody else that would have dared talk to him like she had just done, on such a private matter, would have earned themselves a hex. But he knew that the medi-witch had only Lorena and their son's best interests at heart, so he just accepted the warning for what it was worth. "Thank you, Poppy, for taking care of Lorena and our son the way you do."

"I wish you a Merry Christmas, Severus. These are mad times and hard times. Merlin knows how much you deserve a bit of happiness. Everybody needs it, especially you, of all people." Her tone was sincere and caring.

Severus managed a faint smile at her. "Same to you, Poppy."

The medi-witch came back to the examination room. There, she finished the last test. "Everything is alright, Lorena. By the way, I just advised Severus that he should be careful with you once you are both in the bedroom, if you see what I mean. If he gets too much carried away by his passion for you, remind him to keep the rough rides for after your delivery. I believe the message sank in his Potioneer's mind." She had used the lowest title in the potion-making hierarchy to refer to Severus – a mark of her fondness for him.

Lorena gasped before blushing violently. She managed to mutter a 'Thank you, Ms Pomfrey, I will'. _I hope you're right, dear Poppy._ She hoped that Severus would not be brutal with her once alone with her in his home. She hoped he would listen to her if she complained – once in the bedroom or elsewhere. He had not before.

She blushed at the notion that the medi-witch thought of them as a normal couple, having sex together and all that jazz. Save that they were not a normal couple. Poppy was not said to be particularly gullible a person. Lorena wondered who had told what to her that she believed this. The 'who' in question must have been really persuasive – which left only two people at Hogwarts eligible for that kind of assignment : Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape.

"I reminded him too that there should be no contrariety for you. He should make an effort to be nice. That should serve him right."

Lorena smiled at the expression. "Thank you, Ms Pomfrey. That's very kind of you. Thank you for watching over me and Alan." _I hope he will behave with me, that is, leaving me alone._

"I told Severus to come back here with you for any sign of bleeding and/or fever you may have. I trust you'll tell him if this happens, so that he can bring you to me at once. No foolish wand-waving or inconsiderate potion-taking. Well, I do trust Severus for that last part. Thanks Merlin, you're not a Gryffindor, so I believe you won't play it the-hero-that-keeps-on-suffering-silently-and-bravely-until-it's-too-late."

"I will tell him, you can trust me on that," Lorena said, though she could not imagine herself confiding into Severus about gynecological problems… "I take the books you lent me about infant care and pregnancies with me anyway. I need to know more and I must confess I didn't have much time to read them much with all my homework."

"Ah, excellent. No wonder you're one of our top students, Lorena."

About that information, Lorena was sure where it did come from. She smiled and left the Hospital Wing with Severus that took her elbow to guide her to the Great Hall for the lunch. Poppy was to follow them a few minutes later. Pity that Lorena was blind – she would have surely enjoyed the slightly blushing color on her Potions Professor's cheeks when he set his glittering dark eyes on her…

Poppy had seen it. She smiled inside. _I'm glad to see how much in love he is. He really needs it. Though I suspect that he isn't even aware of it…_

* * *

**_I inserted a few lines from either the books or the movies. I enjoy doing that ! I'm sure you'll recognize them. Chocolate cookies for those among you, dear readers, that will !_**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	64. Good start at Spinner's End

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**6****4 – Good start at Spinner's End**

It was around three o'clock when Lorena heard someone entering her dorm. She took her wand out just in case though something in her mind told her who had just stepped in. There was only another Slytherin left in the castle that could access the dungeons.

The Potions Master.

"Hold it, Lorena, that's just me," growled a deep, silky voice she recognized at once. "Besides, I don't think you need your wand to defend yourself."

She lowered her wand. He had just alluded to her outburst of uncontrolled magic that had saved her unexpectedly on the day before. She went back to her trunk.

"What are you doing here, Professor ?" She was still angry at him for his earlier blackmail.

"Checking that you were packing up indeed."

She did not reply. Severus was aware of her discontent. She was going from her dresser to her trunk to put some of her belongings inside. He watched her carefully. From a distance, one could not notice she was blind. Her gestures were precise. The only thing was that her gaze was still directed ahead of her and her hands searching and feeling at times.

She took her time to check the things she needed to take with her : two nightgowns, underwear, dresses, a pair of slippers, a pair of shoes. Some Muggle garments too : one skirt, the matching jacket, one pair of trousers, two shirts, two sweatshirts. Her trusty violin, of course. The two books Poppy had lent her about infant care and pregnancies. Her books and school work.

Lorena was standing in front of her dresser. She seemed hesitant. Severus, standing not that far, came closer to her, watching her carefully. She got a dress out. The beautiful green dress she had worn at the Halloween Ball. It reminded him the lovely moment he had shared with her, dancing with her – while he had never done so before with anybody else at Hogwarts. He tried to forget the dreadful event that had happened afterwards. Her encounter with the Dark Lord, his raping her. Severus had to reckon that she had behaved admirably, with great bravery and self-control.

"Take it, Lorena. Please," he said softly while coming behind her. She felt his presence close to her, his breath on her neck as he leaned towards her. She put the dress back into her dresser, discarding his advice on purpose.

She turned her head towards him slightly, wondering what he may have in mind. He put a delicate kiss on her cheek, while his hands went to her waist to drag her gently towards him. "You're so beautiful in it…"

Lorena wanted to push him away – she still resented the way he had compelled her to accept his 'invitation' to Spinner's End. But at the same time, she loved it when he was real sweet on her. She let him do. Soon, his mouth trailed down her neck in a warm caress.

"Lorena… do you know what I'd like to do with you ?"

"Yes, I've got a pretty nice idea of what you'd like to do with me," she replied with genuine sarcasm. However, she had to admit that he was less commanding this time. Not so long ago, he would have just stated 'I want'.

Unfazed by her remark, Severus went on. "I'd like to make love to you here, in your dorm."

She turned towards him. "Professor ! I don't think that's a good idea. I'm not the only one to live here."

"I know that and I'm not a fool enough to do it when your dormmates are here in the castle. Just a fantasy that only you can grant me, Lorena. There's nobody here now, we're the only ones in the dungeons…" He hugged her to him closer and soon his lips were on hers for a feverish kiss.

Lorena came back to her senses when she felt he was dragging her towards her bed. "No !" she exclaimed, breaking the kiss, pushing him away. "Leave me alone !" She put her hands on her face. "I have the feeling I'm only here for you to…" She repressed a sigh. _For you to get satisfied with a woman._

Severus remembered what Poppy had told him. _Be nice._ Not a good start. He got closer to her, hugged her again, this time pressing her against him with a tender embrace, his hand on her back to soothe her. "I didn't want to put pressure on you to have sex with me _now_." He knew this was rather not the case. Had she agreed, he would have done it. "I just said it was a fantasy of mine… a fantasy I'd like to do with you. One day."

"Because I'm one of your students, _Professor_ ?" Her tone was bitter.

"I guess, well, yes. Though I've never fantasized about a student before I met you. But you're not any student to me, Lorena. You're…" He sighed. _You're the woman I want._ "You're mine."

"I'll never get ready on time if you keep on like this, Professor. Leave me alone now."

"Right."

Lorena went to the bathroom and picked up her hygiene stuff. She checked her dresser and bedtable a last time, in case she would have forgotten something there. She had not so she closed her trunk. She raised her wand on it to reduce it accordingly. She put on her cloak on her shoulders, her scarf around her neck, her wand back into in her right sleeve. She was ready to travel.

Severus smiled at her. She was a bit in advance. He took the reduced trunk and put it in one of his frock coat pockets. "You look ready for travel, Lorena. Good. The weather in Spinner's End may not be as harsh as here but I don't expect it to be pretty much nicer."

They went down to his quarters where he had to pick up his own reduced trunk he had finished to prepare. Once there, he put on his own cloak, made sure he had his wand in hand, ready to defend himself if needed. "We may go then. We'll Apparate directly from here. Come here," he ordered. She stepped forward to him, he took her hand and dragged her against him for a side-along Apparition. He even wrapped her body in his large traveling cloak, for extra protection, his strong arms around her.

In a split second, they found themselves back to the dark dead end alley that Severus used to Apparate to Spinner's End. He gave himself and Lorena a few seconds to get their bearings. Sleet was falling and the young woman was glad to feel his warm body temperature. "At least, it's not snowing," she heard him say. "Are you fine ?" he asked gently.

"Yes, thank you, Professor."

"Lorena, as I had told you last Summer, as soon as you set foot here at Spinner's End, you are my mistress. Do not address me as your teacher. Do you remember ?"

Of course, she did. "Yes, I do… Severus," she replied in a whisper Severus would not have heard had he not held her so close to him. _Your pregnant mistress. Pregnant with your child._

"Right, Lorena. Let's go now before we freeze to death." He took her by the waist and led her outside the dark alley. His house was just opposite the street. The surroundings had not changed. They just looked even gloomier with the bad weather. They crossed the street. Severus quickly disabled the wards guarding his house and they could enter the place. Once inside, he warded the house again at once.

The temperature was warm inside, to Lorena's surprise. Severus removed his traveling cloak he hanged on the hook nearby. Lorena's joined his at the same place. He glanced at her body and could see that she showed clearly now. He felt a surge of desire for her, remembering Poppy's injunctions about the way to have sex with a young pregnant woman.

"It's warm here," Lorena said softly.

"I had asked Ziggy to prepare the house prior to our arrival. You remember Ziggy ?"

"Yes, I do. He had been the first person I had ever heard to speak about my elemental magic."

"Indeed. I have also instructed him to prepare your meals with your pregnancy in mind."

"You told him I was pregnant ?"

"Yes. With my child. Anyway, he would have seen it by himself. House elves are very perceptive creatures. You must have noticed it when he alluded to your elemental magic. Now for our luggage. Let's go upstairs. The house layout has not changed since last Summer. Therefore, you should have no problem finding your way around. Yet, I recommend you to exert every caution possible as to the stairs. I don't want you to fall in your condition. There could be regrettable consequences for you and the child."

There was a lot of concern in his voice. For a second or two, Lorena wondered if the caring and gentle Severus Snape she had come to know over last Summer, was back. She hoped so, as she did not wish to live with a brutal, ruthless man.

Severus took her hand in his to guide her upstairs. The walls were familiar, she remembered the surroundings perfectly. He made her enter the bedroom she had been given last time. He put the reduced trunk in an empty corner of the room. "_Engorgio_ !" and the trunk retrieved its normal size.

Lorena knelt in front of it. A move of her hand over the trunk and she opened it and got out her violin case, the two books Poppy had lent to her. She also searched a hidden pocket in the trunk lid. She soon got out a small box and a few letters.

Severus was watching her. He concluded that she had enchanted her trunk so that it could open only with her magic – unless it was only with her psychokinetic powers, he could not have told. A wise precaution in a Slytherin dorm.

Lorena rose to her feet, her bunch of papers and the box in hand. "These are the letters I received from my father over time. There is one with the jailhouse letterhead. Ah, there's their phone number, excellent," she said after her wand had come over the letter. "Do you know if there's a phone booth in the area, so that I can call them ? I'd prefer to call in advance rather than come unannounced."

"There's one at the beginning of the street, at five minutes' walk away from here. I'll take you there tomorrow if you wish. Do you have any Muggle coins ?"

"I do. I always keep some Muggle money with me." She opened the box, that had been enchanted as well. She searched inside and got out a small plastic pouch in which there were a few notes and a purse holding coins denominated in sterling pounds. Severus found her organized.

"Why, last Summer, when you were with me here, did you not express the wish to visit your father ?"

"I had seen him already the month before. Severus… he's been jailed in the maximum security wing of the Liverpool main jailhouse, due to the nature of his… crime. Armed robbery. This kind of inmates are entitled to two visits a year only." Her voice trailed off. "I really appreciate that you accepted to accompany me over there, Severus."

"Do you think they'll accept you to see him ?"

"There should be no problem. I'm his daughter, his only next-of-kin. Unless he's made riff-raff inside, misbehaved or started a riot, in that case he may have forfeited his visit rights." She lowered her head, hoping to hide the tears that had welled up in her eyes. "I hope not."

Severus thought how Azkaban was worse in treating mere prisoners. "Did you receive letters from him on a regular basis ?"

"Oh yes, and he wrote in them that he was fine and behaving. I believed him and I hope I was right to do so. There was no way to check this however. I'll be sure about this point tomorrow, when I call the jailhouse. He'd better not have lied to me." Her tone was strangely like a parent towards a child. Severus remembered the bits of information she had given him about her father. That she felt sometimes like his mother, not his daughter.

She put everything back into the small box and replaced the box and the letters into the concealed pocket in the trunk lid. She closed the trunk but Severus noticed that she had not warded the trunk back. Apparently, she trusted him more than her dormmates.

He went to his own bedroom to take care of his own trunk. A few minutes later, he went downstairs. She was there, her instrument on her lap, tuning it. She must have felt at ease as she had not waited for him to go back to the sitting-room. He took it as a good omen.

Lorena asked him if he did not mind that she played before dinner. Severus was all too happy to agree. He had not heard her play for ages. _The last had been…_ He swallowed hard. _The day I had almost raped her._

Lorena began to play. The bow on her violin slid on the strings, uttering the first measures of a tune he recognized at once. Their favorite piece. The _Adagio for Strings_. Severus had sat in his old armchair, opposite to her. He watched her playing, fascinated by her beauty, her musical ability, the magic she was able to conjure up with her instrument, a magic that had nothing to do with her own magical capacities _per se_. Dumbledore was right, music was a magic in its own right. Lorena had her still empty pale gray eyes trained in the void in front of her but her face was filled with emotion and focus. Severus was not surprised that she could concentrate that easily, whether for her school work, the Occlumency lessons or the powerfulness of the spells she cast.

Lorena did not have a one-track mind. Her mind was able to follow several paths at the same time. One was the technicalities of her practice. Another one was remembering the score. Another one was the emotion she wished to return to her audience. A last one, was the emotion she felt herself, that wrenched her mind powerfully, an emotion that showed on her face, sometimes with joy, sometimes with pain, most of the time with nostalgia and sorrow.

Severus, as a spy master, despite being himself gifted with a powerful intellect and able to harbor several tracks in his own mind at the same time, was the exact opposite. He could not afford to show any emotion, he could not even afford to _feel_ them, lest the Dark Lord may pick them up from his mind. Hence his cold demeanor, most of the time perceived as utter indifference, if not disguised hostility. The problem with that self-imposed behavior was that expressing his emotions had been even more difficult for Severus as he was already an introvert individual. He had never been really good at this. Even anger and hatred could not always find a way out in a healthy fashion. He managed to keep them in check but when they escaped his control, under particular circumstances, they were unleashed as sarcasm at best, bouts of violence at worst.

Severus watched Lorena as she was ascending the crescendo, her emotions showing on her face, the tears in her eyes now rolling on her cheeks. He envied her capacity to express her emotions. He could feel the emotion of beauty of the music but it was still an aesthetic emotion. The real emotion that dwelt deep inside his soul could not make it out.

The crescendo stopped for a silence of about a measure. But Lorena did not resume the piece. Severus watched her with intensity, wondering what was happening. Slowly, she lowered her instrument onto her lap. A handkerchief found its way in her hand and she dabbed her tears with it. The same handkerchief he had given her more than one year ago, when she had become blind. The same handkerchief he had given her back after she had sent him to the Hospital Wing the day before.

Severus noticed all this. She had kept his handkerchief, despite every thing he had done to her, despite all she had sustained because of him. The realization of this was like a stab into his heart.

"I'm sorry, Severus…" she said softly.

"Don't, Lorena, don't." His deep voice was soft too.

"I was… thinking about my father. I miss him and I truly hope that I could see him soon. The notion he may been forbidden visits would undo me surely."

Severus remembered Poppy's advice about no contrariety for the young woman. He went to sit besides Lorena on the sofa, putting his hands on her shoulders to turn her to him. "Everything's going to be alright, Lorena. Crying like this, over something you do not know yet and that may have not happened at all, won't do you any good and won't do any good to the baby either. Please consider this."

"I love him so much." _Too much love will kill me one day._

Severus put his arm around her shoulders and dragged her to him. She let him do and even rested her head on his shoulder. Lorena closed her eyes. It felt so good when he was tender like this. She knew deep down that he was like that, even if he claimed the contrary. His warm body beside her was comforting.

They remained as such, in complete silence, till the moment when they heard a cracking sound in the kitchen, announcing that Ziggy had arrived to prepare the dinner. Severus came back to reality when the house elf entered the sitting-room to tell them that the dinner was ready.

"Master Severus, dinner is on the table for you and Mistress Lorena," he said with a deep bow.

"Thank you, Ziggy. Come, Lorena," Severus said while taking the young woman's hand in his.

"Hello, Ziggy," she greeted the house elf.

The small creature saw her standing up and bowed in front of her too. As she walked by him, his hand touched her free hand. "Oh, elemental magic, Mistress Lorena is a very powerful witch, with a little one even more powerful. A great wizard she carries, a great wizard."

Lorena's lips parted when hearing the words. Severus perceived her surprise. "Go, Ziggy, I will call you once we're finished," he said. The house elf snapped his fingers and disappeared in a loud crack.

"How… he alluded to a wizard, not a witch. How does he know that I carry a boy ? A magical kid ?"

"I've told you, house elves are very perceptive. Ziggy felt you carry a male child. And as much as he felt your own brand of magic, he felt it in the baby too."

"I thought that magic did not manifest itself in children before a certain age."

"That's true. Usually around five or seven, it varies from one child to another. But maybe in our son's case… things will be different. Remember how he was conceived. On a magical date. During a magical ritual involving a very powerful magic, elemental magic. With you and me, both quite powerful in our own right. No wonder to me that this child will be powerful. We will have to be careful as to his magical education."

"No wonder the Dark Lord is after him then."

"Especially if he thinks that he's the father. Albus Dumbledore has known him since he was 11. He told me one day that the Dark Lord used wandless magic deliberately as a child, well before attending Hogwarts. No doubt he would have fathered a powerful child too, if given the opportunity."

"It sounded so strange to me, all of a sudden. I was… scared for a second."

They sat down around the small table in the kitchen. Severus filled their plates with food, describing her what she had in her plate and where. Then he resumed the discussion about the house elf's remarks.

"Don't worry, Lorena. Don't you remember yourself having bouts of magic when you were a kid, when you were under stress or feeling a great emotion ? Like you had a few days ago ? Any other form of magical manifestation apart from speaking with snakes and insects ?"

She paused, her eyes focusing in the void in reflection. "Yes… thinking of it now… I used to have temper tantrums, like all kids. I could… I managed to switch off all the lights in the house or in the street. I infuriated my father one evening as it happened during a football match he was watching – the television set had gone haywire. I remember to have done so in class too. I had had a big row with another schoolmate and the whole school was deep in the dark after that. It also happened that I erased what was written on the blackboard, just because I wasn't happy with the teacher." She smiled at the memory. "And you Severus, did you have the same kind of things happening to you ?"

"Yes. Like all magical kids. My mother was a witch herself, so she managed to keep me in check, especially as my Muggle father did not like magic. He had forbidden my mother to use it at home."

Lorena said nothing, she just bore a puzzled look on her face. She could not imagine not using magic at home, it was so useful, above all as she was blind. Magic was a powerful help in her case. At least, this would not happen with Severus.

"My father… was not a nice man, either with my mother or me," he said softly. "He was rather abusive with us."

His words echoed the description he made of himself. The Potions Master was not a nice man either. _Hope he won't turn out like his father then._ Lorena remained silent. He had been abusive with her already.

"But I do not intend to behave like him, to be with our son like my father had been with me," Severus went on. He had felt Lorena's uneasiness and he tried to reassure her.

_And do you intend to behave with me like your father did with your mother, Severus ?_ she wondered. She did not dare voice her question though. She knew this was a dangerous and unknown territory to tread. She Occluded her mind at once, too much afraid he may pick up her question in her mind.

"We are not compelled to follow our parents' ways or make the same mistakes they did. I do not intend to become a jailbird like my father," she managed to utter with a light tone.

Severus chuckled. "I don't think you will, honestly. You're no school rules breaker material at Hogwarts. Your last detentions were the first in more than five years. A rather clean record." Especially as these had been given on ambiguous grounds by the Potions Master himself for even more ambiguous purposes. Fortunately, he had picked up on the new turn of conversation and they ended the meal with more pleasant considerations. "Tomorrow, I'll bring you to the next phone booth so that you may call the jailhouse. As soon as we have the thumbs up for a visit, we'll Apparate nearby."

"_We_ ? You'd come with me to the jailhouse ?"

"Lorena… How do you intend to get to the jailhouse in Liverpool ? You can't Apparate, I can. You don't know the place where we'll arrive by Apparition, Wizarding Liverpool, I do. You've been entrusted to my care. I'm here to protect you. That makes four good reasons for me to come with you, whether you like it or not."

"That's nice of you, Severus. Thank you for your help."

He wanted to tell her that he was not a nice man but decided against. Poppy had asked him to be nice, so be it. If Lorena thought so of him, that was a good start.

They finished the dinner and went to the sitting-room for a quiet reading evening, he in his armchair, she in the sofa. Severus craved to have her on his lap, to hold her close to him. Lorena had thought about it too but she needed time to get used again to a more intimate contact with him, though the kiss they had exchanged in the library more than one month ago, or earlier during the day, in her dorm, were still vivid in her mind. One hour later, she felt tired and bid him good night before going to bed. Severus wished her good night too and watched her leave the sitting-room. How much he wanted to spend the night with her, in his or her bed, to hold her against him. She was so close to him now, they were alone in his house, nobody around to check on them. But he promised himself he would never behave like he had done before, on that fateful morning at Hogwarts, or a few days ago nearby the Forbidden Forest. At least, he would try not to.

* * *

**_I do hope Severus will keep on like this - looks like he's paid attention to Poppy's advice. _****_We'll see._**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	65. Love can bite too

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**6****5 – Love can bite too**

Lorena was quickly ready on the following morning. She found her bearings in the bathroom as nothing had changed since last Summer. The mirror had been enchanted to help her. Apparently, Severus had already used the bathroom – it was still warm. She could hear some noise downstairs too. He was already up, talking with Ziggy, as she could hear his deep voice and the squeaky replies from the house elf.

She went downstairs for breakfast. Ziggy had prepared something delicious and copious for them both. Severus had waited for her. The weather was still dull and cold but dry.

"Get ready, we go out now so that you may call the jailhouse about your father," he said flatly once they were finished with their meal. "We should do so now before it rains or snows. Ziggy thinks the weather will go worse in the next few days."

A house elf forecasting the weather ? Lorena could not but smile. "No problem, Severus. I'm almost ready anyway. Just let me take some Muggle money and the jailhouse phone number with me."

She went upstairs to retrieve what she needed. A few minutes later, she was downstairs, putting on her cloak and her green-and-silver Slytherin scarf. He was ready too, his large traveling cloak on his shoulders. He took her hand in his to lead her outside. He closed the door and warded the house heavily. He tucked her hand on his arm and they were gone.

Severus made an effort not to walk too fast, keeping his stride manageable by Lorena. She was not waddling yet but she did not wish to run to keep up with him. They arrived at the phone booth he had spoken to her about. They both entered, to her surprise. She thought she would be alone.

"Severus…"

He must have felt her tension. The booth was small and she could feel his presence very close to her, leaving her uncomfortable. Though she knew nothing would happen to her from him as they were in the street.

"You may need some help, Lorena."

"No, I don't," she replied a bit too firmly. "I can have my way with a phone, blind or not." She alluded to the legendary inability of magical people to use Muggle appliances.

He had perceived her thought somehow. "I grew up in a Muggle house and environment, the very same we are in now. I'm familiar with all this too." He was cold and Lorena let it go – she did not wish to anger him. He had been nice up to now. No need to rile him up lest things may get out of hand quickly.

Silently, she took out the Muggle coins and the phone number. Her purse was organized so that she could retrieve the different coins, sorted by face value, like she had been taught at the institution for the blind. She inserted the coins required with a sure hand then dialed the number she had memorized. Severus watched her, amazed by her easiness. From a distance, nobody could have said that the young woman was blind indeed. He had the letter with the phone number in hand and checked it out in case she made a mistake.

"Severus… come closer, if you want to hear," she offered him in a gesture of conciliation if not peace, sharing the receiver with him so that he could listen. He leaned towards her ear, their both heads touching each other eventually. He could hear indeed. And that provided him with a beautiful opportunity to be closer to her. Besides, he was glad she trusted him enough to allow him to hear what was said about the much sensitive issue of her father.

There was a tone, then someone picked up the call. Lorena asked the visits department and was put through to a lady.

"Good morning, ma'am. I wish to know if I can come and visit one of your inmates in the next few days… His name's George Lord Nottingham. My father. His inmate number is 7474505B… ah, you have it already… Yes, maximum security wing… Yes, I'm his daughter… Okay, I can wait."

Severus could hear the replies given by the lady on the other end. He could feel Lorena's anxiety. She flinched a bit, her hand on her belly. Alan was doing riff-raff in her womb again. Severus gathered this at once and positioned himself behind her. He slid his both hands around her belly, under her cloak. He began to massage her there gingerly, his warm hands both tender and firm on her body. She felt better and relaxed under his touch, leaning against his body. Alan seemed to get calmer too, which allowed her to continue with her conversation.

"Yes, ma'am… it's possible ? Great ! When can I come ?... Any time ? This afternoon would be possible then ?... Wonderful !... From… 3 o'clock this afternoon. Right… Does that mean he behaved then… Well, that's what he writes to me, you know, but I have no other way to check this out… Oh, a last thing, ma'am. I'm blind. So I'll come with the person that guides me. Is that a problem ?... No ? Ah, that's very kind of you… No, it won't be the same person than last time, six months ago… But he can't come with me to the parlor. Sure. No problem, ma'am... That'll do indeed... Thank you... Goodbye." She hanged up the receiver.

Lorena put a hand on her belly – and on Severus'. "Oh, thank you. I thought I was in for a very rough time and compelled to end the conversation."

"Did you like it ?" His voice was raspy in her ears. "I can go on." He did not wait for her reply, caressing her belly, his lips moving from her ear to her temple. She could feel his body pressed against hers. He was hard under his garments, she could perceive it despite the several layers of cloth between them. She had to refrain from sighing out of ease. "Lorena…" It was just a whisper, barely audible, but it contained all the desire Severus felt for her. His lips found her cheek, one of his hands lifting her face slightly to his, while his other hand, still on her belly, dragged her even closer to him. He felt the young woman was about to give in to him, for a kiss, his mouth close to hers.

A sudden knock on the phone booth door brought them back to reality.

"There are other places to do that !" rose an angry voice. Severus glanced outside the booth. An elderly lady was standing there, a shocked look on her face.

"I think we'd better leave the place free," Severus told Lorena. He pushed the door open and they went out. "I don't want to start a riot."

The old lady went on ranting. "Young people nowadays… no longer any manners in public… Oh !" She was surprised to see a tall, fully grown man going out of the booth. "Sir, I can see you're no longer a teenage boy, you should give the example for the young out there !"

Her remark made him smile inside. "What example ? This young lady here's my wife ! I can snog her wherever and whenever she needs it – and she needed it just right now !" His reply was full of sarcasm but it made Lorena giggle inside of her as she found it funny.

"There are hotels for that, young man !"

Lorena thought that the old lady would have never raised the issue had she known what kind of man Severus really was. She was not afraid of him, standing up to him the way she did, scolding him as if he were a mere kid, calling him 'young man' – which he was surely compared to her age. "Don't worry, ma'am. My husband is just really caring with me and concerned about my condition, that's all." Saying so, she opened her cloak to reveal her showing pregnant belly.

The old lady looked utterly shocked. "Oh, that's not a behavior suitable for a pregnant woman ! Young people nowadays… hmpfff…"

She seemed to keep on ranting. Severus took the lead : "Sorry, madam. We have to leave you, we have to go back to our hotel for a thorough snogging and shagging," Severus said all the more seriously, with one of his trademark smirks on his face, before dragging Lorena close to him, leaving the old lady there, utter shock on her face.

Lorena could not hold it back any longer once they were out of earshot. She giggled, her hand on her mouth to stifle it – unsuccessfully. "Oh, Severus, you made a joke !"

He smiled at her a little bit. "True the look on this old woman's face was priceless – shame you could not see it."

"I _heard_ it. And you were so funny, Severus." She chuckled. "_Young man_."

"Are you mocking your husband ?" His voice had a falsely threatening tone.

"No, not at all. But your reply was so funny. _Snogging and shagging_." She giggled. "I never thought I'd hear that coming from you one day."

"That's probably because I'm more keen on doing it than on speaking about it." This time, his voice had something no longer joking. Severus stopped her on the pavement, dragging her to him. "Like I crave doing so to you every single day and night of my life, Lorena." His voice had reverted to a raspy seriousness that announced the end of the fun. He was not longer joking. Slowly, he put a light kiss on her lips.

Lorena let him do. The kiss was quick, light, yet it left on her flesh the print of his raw desire for her. "Let's go back home. We have a trip to plan, from what I heard," he said quickly. He had refrained from kissing her deeper as he would have been able to drag her to a dark alley not that far, to lose control over his own senses and make her his. With or without her consent.

* * *

Once back home they prepared their trip there. First Apparating to Wizarding Liverpool, then taking the bus to the jailhouse. It would the first time in ages that Severus traveled that way into the Muggle world.

Their trip was quickly planned. After that, Severus decided to spend a bit of time in his lab, about two hours or so, in the house basement. Lorena did nothing to prevent him from doing so. It would leave her enough time to check something that had been nagging at her.

Wand in hand, she began to scan the rows of books in the sitting-room. During Summer, she had time to check the library there, when they had been searching about the virginity ritual. Severus being Severus, his library was well organized – per subject. Potions books in one part of the bookcase. Dark Arts works stored together in another part. Charms and Transfiguration books in another part. And so forth.

_Yes, but what about stuff pertaining to blood rituals ? What about blood magic ?_ Lorena sat down, trying to remember where they had dig the book about the virginity ritual. After all, it had been a blood magic ritual. Any book on the general topic should be shelved nearby. Her gestures then came back to her. These books were located – not unexpectedly – between Potions and Dark Arts.

She began to search the rows of books and found again the book about the virginity ritual. She took it and perused the table of content thereof, in case the book would address the particular topic of… _Love-bites_.

Not much about the subject in it though it was a beginning. She put the book aside and continued her research. She found another book more complete about the topic. She decided this would be a good start. She settled herself on the sofa and began to read. The first book she had spotted had two pages about love-bites, a bit short but rather informative. The other other book contained a whole chapter on the topic. Comfortably sitting in the sofa, here was what she read :

_Any action__s revolving around blood in the Wizarding world belong to blood magic. Love-bites are no exception. Therefore the practice is not to be taken lightly. They are an expression of a very old magical yet powerful practice. Therefore, any wizard wishing to love-bite his witch has to bear these considerations in mind and be rather familiar with its implementation, implications and consequences. _

_Loves-bites have not the same meaning in the Wizarding world than in the Muggle world. Whereas in the latter world they are generally the by-product of a kiss applied in __such a way as to exert pressure on the skin to bruise it – the said pressure drawing a certain amount of blood to the surface and thus coloring the skin like a bruise – love-bites in the former world are entirely different in both origin, effects and meaning._

_In our world, love-bites are not produced by suction but by what they are really named for : a bite. __Though both are remotely connected as they rely on blood, love-bites in use in the Wizarding world have a whole another intent. Considered as a mark of affection or lust in the Muggle world, a love-bite in the Wizarding world bears a much more important, deeper meaning for both the one that gives it and the one that receives it._

_Love-bites are given by wizards to mark the witches they consider as theirs, in general their spouses. In ancient times, when wizarding tribes or groups were at war, they were given to the witches gained as prizes by their new masters. __Another use involved prostitution : the wizard making a profit from this type of activity, marked the witches he prostituted to show they already belonged to him as his chattel. In this particular instance, we may state this use of love-bites is similar as branding cattle._

Lorena did not feel comfortable on reading this, after what Severus had told her. 'Mudblood whore' – had this been his intention ? Though he was no pimp… On the contrary, he was not the kind of man to share his woman with another one. She went on reading.

_Nowadays, thoug__h the practice has become very rare, it is still considered for the wizard as a way to assert his __possession__ over a witch, whether they are married, betrothed, bonded – or not. It is also a sign to show other wizards that the witch thus marked is no longer available for any sexual activity (courting, wooing, advances, etc.) except for the wizard that had thus marked her. It has been reported that some witches do mark their wizards likewise, in order to show that he is no longer available but the practice is somewhat even rarer and even considered in some groups as improper. Some of these groups do consider females to be properties while males are seen as owners of these same properties – not the reverse. _

Lorena noticed that the word 'possession' had been underlined in the text manually. Probably by Severus' quill. _Bingo, right on…_ she thought.

_The wizard that wishes to mark a witch as his own, has to bite her in a place that __can be seen by other wizards, and in a part of the body that can shed blood easily. The neck is a most preferred place, while it has been recorded that some wizards do mark their witches on the back of their hands. The place is therefore very important : if the whole purpose of showing a witch is already the possession of a wizard, the said wizard has to consider it with care before carrying it out._

Lorena was puzzled : Had it been his intention, showing she was his ? Not likely, given the secret around their relationship. And showing it to whom ? No, it could not be that…

_The circumstances around giving a love-bite are of importance as well. Love-bites on the back of the hand are usually given just after the wizard had slipped the wedding ring onto his witch's finger. Love-bites on the neck are usually given during more intimate relationships. __In general, it is given during foreplay and considered as part of it. It has been reported that some witches find it particularly arousing. Some wizards even bite their witches during the sexual intercourse. Some other wizards do it while deflowering their witches – both bleedings having the utmost binding power between the two partners. _

Lorena remembered._ Strange he did not do that to me in the cave. Maybe he did not wish this to tamper with the ritual. _Most likely, so much was at stake. Back then, Severus may not have been so keen on possession.

_It has not been established though if the bitten witch's blood absorbed by the biting wizard has a medicinal effect. Some research made by certain Potions Masters __in Britain do imply that the blood thus shed has some similar effects in potions that use human blood, yet not as powerfully as provided by virgin blood though. (Jenkins Alberius, Snape Severus, Blood Magic in Potion Making, 1986)._

Lorena was surprised to read a name she knew so well. _He's researched the subject. No wonder he knows about all this then._ She went on reading, completely raptured by the subject now.

_While it may sound appealing for a wizard to mark his witch__ that way, the whole process cannot be done but only by powerful, trained and competent wizards as they involve unspoken spells. Love-bites have to be given with the wizard's teeth. No other exterior mechanical device should be used, nor should slicing spells or hexes. After the bite is made, the wizard has to suck a bit of blood from the witch and swallow it, with the use of his lips or tongue only (not even with his fingers). Only the equivalent of a few drops have to be taken. Note that love-bites are not to be confused with a vampire practice. Once this is done, a healing spell is to be cast silently while the wizard's tongue lick the bite to close it. The most common spells are _Vulnera Sanantur_ or _Mors Sanatur_. The spell stops the bleeding while leaving the skin marked for everyone to see._

The names of one of the spells rang a bell in her memory. _Vulnera_ _Sanantur_… Yes, that was the counter-curse used to reverse the _Sectumsempra_ spell. _No wonder he knows about it. He must have discovered that it could heal more severe wounds, such as the ones inflicted by the _Sectumsempra _he had invented._ That was clever, very clever, to adapt the healing spell used for love-bites to cure the much more serious wounds given by the _Sectumsempra_. Lorena could not but admire and praise Severus' creativity and intelligence.

_Like for all issues pertaining to blood magic, the use of love-bites by Dark wizards has to be given a very specific attention. Blood magic has __obvious connections with the Dark Arts. As such, a bite given by a Dark wizard may be laden with Dark intents. While not all Dark wizards may bite their witches with Dark purposes in mind, some others do, especially during rituals involving non-consensual sex._

Lorena shivered. She wondered why the Dark Lord had not bitten her then, while he considered her as his. But she remembered what Severus had told her about Voldemort : while powerful and very well versed in some aspects of magic, he remained woefully ignorant in others. _Maybe love-bites were the case._ The very name of 'love-bites' should be enough a deterrent for the Dark Lord to have resorted to them to assert his ownership of hers. _Like for the Love-Snakes… _She remembered he had not kissed her either.

_Like for any magic, the intention is the key behind love-bites. Most wizards use it as a means to show love for their witches first. The notion of __possession__ is very present too. However, due to the particular nature of rape, love-bites given during non-consensual sexual intercourse do hold a particular power too, similar to deflowering a virgin witch without her consent. _

Lorena felt ill-at-ease. Severus had bitten her while he had tried to rape her. Did he have Dark purposes when he had done that to her ? He had not raped her but he had bitten and marked her nonetheless. Once again, the word 'possession' was underlined. The issue of possession was something very important to him.

_Yet, whereas that practice appears to be rather __initiated by males and for their sole benefits, some studies conducted by medi-witches trained in the art of mind healing and psy-wizardry have shown that 99% of the witches thus marked are very happy to have been bitten by their wizards, either on the hand during the wedding and/or on the neck during sexual intercourse. Only 1% had been marked during non-consensual sex or attempts, most of the times by Dark wizards. (Parkinson B., Patil S., Potter H., Diggory W., Witches and Wizards Interactions : Love-Bites : A Study, 1958). The same study also states that both partners, in about 92% of the couples engaged in a consensual relationship, have felt the magic of a specific bond being established between them then. The reality of that magical bond has yet to be investigated as no research had not been made on this matter so far. The witches bitten during non-consensual sex have not been questioned in this regard, so state the authors of the study._

Lorena sneered._ I highly doubt they would have said there was something of a bond between them and their rapists. _Yet, it did not mean there was nothing left afterwards though. Keeping silent about a subject did not mean there was nothing. _That would be also another interesting research subject, along the Love-Snakes._ She thought about her own situation with Severus. They shared a bond – rape or not – and more than that.

_This 1958 study is the last one to have been conducted on the subject. As the practice is not much in use nowadays and is associated with blood magic, most wizards and witches think love-bites are a Dark magic practice, carried out only by Dark wizards for Dark purposes on reluctant partners. Those that engage in that practice are therefore very discreet about it, lest they may be considered as Dark wizards themselves, even if there is no close relationship between Dark magic and love-bites – no more than for the rest of witchcraft and wizardry in general._

The paragraph left her thoughtful. _Every thing is a question of intent in magic_, she mused. What had been Severus' intentions when he had done that to her ? Possession, for sure – the word had been quoted twice and twice he had underlined it (she was not sure that it was him that had done so but aware of how possessive he was, that would not be surprising).

She closed the book. It had been written recently, in 1989. _Very interesting._ It shed some light on Severus. Not only he was a gifted spell inventor, a recognized Potions Master, involved in research, he was also versed in branches of magic that were not often used or even brought to the public eye for consideration and study. Lorena chuckled : she could not imagine the subject being studied at Hogwarts…

He was also a Dark wizard. What had been his intentions when he had done this to her ? Yet, she could not imagine him using Dark magic on her, while she carried his son. _Unless he doesn't care really about us…_ she thought sadly.

She put the books into place on the bookshelves, memorizing the titles for future reference if needed. She had learned enough to confront him if needed. Out of reflex, she put a finger on the bite he had done to her. She could not see the small scar but it could be easily felt under her fingertips. The sensation left a bittersweet taste in her soul.

* * *

**_Looks like Severus is very keen on everything pertaining to blood magic and rituals... to assert his possessiveness or to express his strong penchant for the Dark Arts ? _****_Maybe both ? Any ideas, dear readers ? _**_**And the one who's more bitten by love in this story is not necessarily the one we may think of first...**_

**_I inserted a slight reference to the Blues Brothers in the chapter. Chocolate cookies for those who can identify it. Double chocolate cookies for those of you that can tell me to which brother it does apply._**

**_I also inserted another small allusion to a great absent in this HP story - guess who ? LOL - oh well, just having fun..._**

**_Please rate and review ! _****_Thanks in anticipation !_**


	66. The jailbird musician

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**6****6 – The jailbird musician**

They Apparated to a discreet street in the heart of Wizarding Liverpool. From there, they managed to get back to Muggle Liverpool where they caught a bus that led them to the jailhouse. They had both put on Muggle clothing under their cloaks. Lorena had noticed that due to her pregnancy, her Muggle garments were no longer fitting. She duplicated the skirt and vest and arranged the double magically to fit her new size. They had their cloaks on, with their Muggle ID papers so that they could enter the jailhouse, and of course, their wands safely tucked into their sleeves. They attracted no attention whatsoever.

Except for the odd looks on them both and some comments that Lorena managed to grasp, due to her acute hearing, the trip went fine. _"How come a lovely girl like her could be with such an ugly man like him ?"_ The comment hurt her. Deep. True, Severus was not a looker but he was not that ugly. Besides, she was past this stage, being blind. She did not wear dark glasses and her gestures were natural, so people did not notice at once that she was blind. Only a few minutes of observation could show that her eyes were empty and fixed. _"Oh, but this is it, she's blind, so she can't see how ugly he is. Well, they say love is blind." _She wondered whether he had heard or not. Apparently not, nothing in his reactions showed him he had. Yet, nobody could be sure with Severus, he was so much used to remain unfathomable, he could hide his feelings so deeply. Last but not least, she did not consider herself to be a beauty, so there was no point in comparing her to him.

Lorena remembered how Severus looked. She had not been always blind. The first five years at Hogwarts had given her time to watch him carefully. Besides, she had learned that people could be beautiful inside. Though it may not necessary be the case for Severus either, with his distasteful, and most of the time, horrendous attitude with people in general, without talking about all the terrible things he had had to carry out as a Death-Eater – and still had to. But she had always known that deep down, he had some qualities that made him someone unique in his own right.

He was brilliant. A powerful intellect. A great wizard. No, he was not a looker indeed but his dark eyes held something mysterious and compelling when they bored directly at your face, his gaze glittering like onyx. They had something mighty and sheer magnetic. His mouth had a sensual design, not too thin – though he could make it a very thin line when angry – not too plump either. His lower lip was full enough to make it delicious to kiss. She loved tracing the outline of his lips with her tongue, when they used to snog each other in his armchair at home. He had this large nose but who cared ? Not her. Rumors throughout the school said that a large nose meant a large… Lorena smiled. She was probably the only person, with Ms Pomfrey, but for reasons different from the medi-witch's, to be able to confirm this point. Because his case confirmed the rule.

Lorena remembered all this. Severus was not a great looker but he was damn handsome in her own eyes. He could kiss. He was like fire under ice, with that passionate temper of his he had learned to hide so well. Instinctively, as if to deny these words said about him, she leaned more against his body, her fingers entangling with his in his hand, hoping he had not heard the derogatory comments made about them together, and him in particular.

Once in the bus, Severus had Lorena seated. One seat only was available, as the bus was rather crowded, even at this time of the day. He remained standing beside her, a possessive hand on her shoulder, a killing glare in his eyes for anybody who would dare annoy her. Everybody gathered that the young woman was to be respected as her man was obviously not the type of individual to take it too gently if someone bothered her. Rather the type to get quickly crossed. So severe…

They arrived to the jailhouse stop and got off. They walked to the jailhouse entrance. It was twenty to three, so they were quite in advance. Severus spotted a bench opposite the gates. He led her there so that they could sit there together, waiting for the right hour to enter.

Severus could feel how much Lorena was tense. She was silent, yet her silence was of an anxious nature. He took her hand in his. "You're nervous, Lorena."

"Yes, I am," she reckoned quietly. "I hope he won't notice I'm pregnant."

"Is that what makes you nervous ?"

"Yes. You can't imagine how awfully possessive my father is. He is what he is, but he doesn't want his daughter to be considered as a…"

She fell silent. "Go on," Severus pressed her softly.

"As a slut… because I'm pregnant out of wedlock," she ended up saying in a barely audible whisper. "He's that type of father, you know."

He remembered the words that had slipped out some time ago, in a moment of anger and jealousy, when he had discovered she had had sex with Alastor Moody. He had understood since then that she had been deeply hurt by his words – as much as he had been deeply hurt by seeing in her mind Alastor Moody giving her pleasure as she gave herself to the ex-Auror. "You're not a slut, Lorena. There's no reason to say so. We're betrothed, you're mine."

Lorena was not that sure. In less than six months, she had known three different men. Alright, one of them had raped her. The man that had deflowered her and to which she was now betrothed, had also raped her in a moment of lustful passion. The third man had turned out to be a one night stand, for the time being. Though Lorena was not sure. Moody would be back to Hogwarts next term, she would still be there too. He may wish to have her again, surely, the way he had already possessed her in bed had shown her that Alastor Moody was in love with her. She loved a man, Severus, and she gladly went to bed with another one, Alastor, that loved her. Wasn't that a cheap slut's typical behavior ?

"I'd better be careful anyway." She searched her cloak inner pocket and got out her papers. "Do you have your papers handy, Severus ? They'll ask for them at the entrance."

He searched his pockets in his frock coat and found them. "Yes, I do." A pause. "Lorena, this morning, you said over the phone that you had already come here last time, but with another man, a different man. Who ?" There was a hint of jealousy or at least envy in his voice.

"Professor Dumbledore. When my father went to jail, my grandmother was made my legal guardian. She was the one to decide, even if she referred to her son, my father, for the most important things. When she died, I was already in Hogwarts. I should have been returned to my father. But as he was in jail, that was not possible. So Professor Dumbledore accepted to be appointed as my legal guardian up to my seventeenth birthday – at least in the wizarding world. I was already 17 when I saw my father last time but as I was not of age yet in the Muggle world, the Headmaster had insisted to come with me and I had accepted."

"But now, you don't need any guardian any longer. You have me."

She turned her head slowly to him. "Yes. My… betrothed now. My future husband." A pause. "However, I request one thing from you, Severus. For the jailhouse staff, you're one of my teachers at school that kindly agreed to accompany me as I'm blind. No mention whatsoever about our… relationship. I don't want my father to hear about this. One never knows. Better be safe than sorry. He trusts Hogwarts as a schooling institution that takes care of his only daughter left alone in the world. I don't want his trust in Hogwarts to crumble. Otherwise, he would die a little bit more each passing day thinking that I'm no longer safe at school. Promise me you won't say anything about us, nor give any hint that could make think we are… together. Please."

He took her hand in his. "I promise, Lorena. I understand your need for secrecy. They say 'Ignorance is bliss'." He knew what he was it was all about, being sworn to secrecy himself with his two masters.

"So true. Thank you. I'll address you as 'Professor' or 'Sir' and you'll call me 'Miss Nottingham', as if we were at school. Please."

"Agreed." Usually, he was the one to make this kind of demand. The reversal in roles amused him.

The moment to enter the jailhouse had arrived. Severus took Lorena's by the elbow, like he did at Hogwarts. Lorena checked that her cloak was well wrapped around her body, so that nothing of her pregnancy could be seen. They both were given access to the warden administrative office where they gave their identity papers for checking. Lorena introduced Severus as one of her professors from the school she attended, and which had been kind enough to accompany her here, as she had no other family. Her only family left was an inmate in this very same correctional facility. Her father.

They were escorted to a waiting room. There, Severus was requested to wait while Lorena was ushered to the parlor. The officer was informed that the young woman was blind. He took her by the elbow gently, like instructed by Severus, to guide her to a seat. In front of her, a glass panel, a receiver.

"You may pick up the phone, miss. Your father is to arrive shortly." The officer put the receiver into her hand. Discreetly, Lorena removed her Love-Snakes ring she kept hidden in her palm.

"Thank you, officer." She did as told and soon she heard a voice that almost broke her heart. A voice she had missed so much.

"Lorena, sweetheart !"

"Dad !" She could not go further and burst out in tears. She was aware that her outburst was certainly due to her pregnancy.

"Lorena… sweetie… if you start crying like this, we're not going to talk much. Pick yourself up, daughter." His voice had something brisk.

She swallowed hard, sniffled a bit and wiped her tears with the back of her hand. "It's just that… I'm tired, Dad, got a lot of work this term. Don't you worry, it's just… I'm so happy to hear your voice."

George Nottingham chuckled. "I know. It's my voice that made your mother fall head over heels for me."

Lorena smiled. She loved these bits of her parents' history. She did not have much about them, except a few pictures of them together, including their wedding picture. "You always say that we'd better cry before because after, it's too late."

"Well, you were almost late. Never mind. How things are going at Hogwarts ? Did you receive my letters ?"

"Oh yes. I hope you received mine too."

"I did, don't you worry. Now, your schooling." George Nottingham knew he had not much time to catch up with important issues such as his daughter's education. He was aware of the type of school his daughter attended. He was careful not to talk too much about it and even in this moment, he remained discreet about her curriculum.

"It's fine. I'm learning a lot of new stuff this year."

"And what about the matter of your blindness ? Is that a real problem ? Do you adapt yourself fine ? Is everyone helpful with you ?"

"Yes, everyone's great with me. But honestly, I've been well taught at the institution for the blind. There are many things I manage to do by myself, especially with the help of you-know-what. People do not always realize I'm blind at once. Sometimes that's funny."

'You-know-what' was their code name for 'magic'.

"Excellent, daughter, excellent. I'm proud of you, as always. I've always been proud of you, you know."

Lorena smiled at him. "I know." A pause. "I miss you, Dad. When do you think you may go out of here ?"

"There are talks of granting me a parole as I behave in the joint. I don't know. The paroling committee is to meet in January. I should be able to give you more news about this by the end of that month."

"Ah, good. Keep me posted then. I want to be the first to know."

"That won't be difficult, Lorena. You're the only thing I have as a family. You know how your mother's relatives do love me…" he ended with irony.

"Yes, I know. They don't exist for me either. They didn't like you as a musician. They aren't going to like me as a… well, a you-know-which."

A witch. Another hidden meaning, playing on the pronunciation between 'which' and 'witch'.

"Dad… there's something I need to ask you. I think you can help me."

"Me ? From that shithole ?" George Nottingham was dubious. "Ah, come on, go ahead. What is it about ?"

"What was Grandma's maiden name ?"

George Nottingham looked at his daughter carefully. Her question had taken him off-guard – he had not expected it. Yet, he knew that one day, she would ask it. His few second long silence was enough for Lorena to perceive his uneasiness about the topic. "I'm surprised. I thought you knew it already. You lived enough time with her, don't you think ? Why do you want to know ?"

The clear distrust in his voice was enough a warning for Lorena. Something important was at hand. An extra reason to dig further. "Curiously enough, I don't know. I was a child and honestly, children don't ask this kind of question to adults usually, don't you think ?" She smirked at him – not so differently from Severus.

"Well… Why do you want to know ?" He was an intuitive, perceiving man. Besides, his voice revealed he was worried. More than worried. Scared. "Who wants to know, beside yourself ? What for ?"

_Why is he afraid ?_ Lorena decided to put aside her feeling for the time being. She was a Slytherin, she could conceal her motives for action. But she could not lie to her father. She could hide the truth – about her pregnancy for example – from him. But not lie. "Something happened at school during a class. I was in contact with a… a creature… a big ant… well, made bigger by you-know-what… it was dangerous and I managed to talk to it. You know that creature language that Grandma taught me. I used it and it intrigued my teachers. Apparently, it's a very rare gift and they asked me how come I knew it. I just told them that it was Grandma that had taught me. They asked me stuff about her, like her maiden name but I could not reply as I don't know." Her voice had become a murmur. Of course, she had not even bothered to mention the same interrogations from the Dark Lord.

"I see. They suspect her to be a… you-know-which."

"Exactly. Any idea ?"

"Your grandmother was one probably. I don't know. She taught us, me and my siblings, that creature language – that was how we called it at home. I use it here sometimes to get rid of cockroaches and the likes. Doesn't always work anyway. I may lack practice."

"We may use it here now, if you wish to practice… "

"No ! I don't want to attract attention from the guards. I'm careful when I use it with other inmates around, no need to have the guards on my back." His voice had become a whisper.

She understood his prudence. She smiled at him. "Cockroaches are among the most stupid and stubborn creatures around. They understand perfectly the language, they just don't care. Don't worry, I have problems with them too. Not that we have cockroaches at Hogwarts but at Grandma's, there were some and they always were a pain in the back to get rid of."

George Nottingham chuckled. "Listen, your grandmother was a one. She used to brew stuff to heal us when we were sick, as well as the folks in the neighbourhood. She was a midwife, more of less, not legit anyway, helping out girls in need or pregnant mothers, if you see what I mean. At that time, women had their babies at home and abortion was illegal. Well, that was long ago. I remember them coming home, when I was only a boy. Women stuff I was not allowed to know. Pity that she died before you became older to understand all this. She would have taught you that too. I believe she had begun to teach you stuff like that before you entered Hogwarts. Especially when you had your bouts of you-know-what."

"Yes, that's true. I still remember the switch you had taken at me when I had made the TV set go haywire during a football match, because of that."

He laughed and his laugh was good to hear for her. Lorena giggled too.

"Yes, I remember. She had taken the stand for you, to the point I thought she would slap me instead ! Well, I didn't know that it was… you-know-what behind all this." He paused, pondering about replying to her initial question. "Gaunt. She was called… Gaunt. Her maiden name was Gaunt. That's all I can tell you. I never met her relatives. She never spoke about them, either to me or to my old man. I've never heard my old folks talk about it either. I've always suspected there must have been a rift between her and them. A bit like you and your mother's kin. Now, the poor woman's dead and she has taken her secret into her grave." He was clearly worried. _Why ?_

"As if her whole history before meeting Grandpa had never existed."

He sighed. "Yes, something pretty much like that."

"That's a beginning though. How did you know about her maiden name if she never spoke about her life before meeting Grandpa ?"

"I saw their marriage certificate one day. My father had needed it apparently and he had left it on the kitchen table. Me, passing by, I glanced at it, you know me."

Lorena giggled. Her giggle was good to hear for him. _Never fear, Dad. I'm sure you would have been sorted into Slytherin, if given the opportunity._

"She was born in 1920. But you must know that, that's what's written on her gravestone. She was born in a place called… Little Hangleton. Something like that. Unless it was Upper or Greater Hangleton. Or Ingleton. Can't remember exactly."

"This, I didn't know, thank you. That's a good start, I think." _Professor Dumbledore will know what to make of this._

"Lorena, don't you dare go and run after these Gaunt relatives ! Something's telling me that if your Grandma ran away from them and disappeared from their midst, there must have been a good reason ! My mother was no fool. She never did a thing without a good motive behind it. Promise me you'll stay away from them !"

"Well, Dad, running after them wasn't my intention. It's just that… after that incident in class, the Headmaster asked me if I knew my grandmother's maiden name. He suspected she may be a you-know-which. There are registrars of you-know-which. Strange, I've always thought that the gift came from _your father's_ side of the family, with that story of the Sheriff of Nottingham's mother being a you-know-which."

"Well, maybe you have both lines. Our infamous ancestor was a criminal too, like me, so you see, it seems to run high in the blood. At least in mine. More seriously, listen to me, daughter, if my mother had deemed that her Gaunt relatives were not to be acquainted with, better follow her example. They may be up to no good. Promise me you won't even _try_ to find them. I'd prefer you to run after your own mother's relatives, rather than my own mother's. You promise ?"

"I swear that I'm up to no good, Dad." She had used the old sentence they shared together to seal a secret deal together when she was a child.

"I'm not kidding, Lorena. Not this time. You're an adult now, you're 18. Yet, still too young to consider a few things. I'll write to your Headmaster about this."

Lorena felt a bit ticked off by her father's attitude to still consider her like a child, despite her becoming of age. _If he only knew… that I'm pregnant._ So far so good for adulthood.

"I'm serious, Dad. I don't want you to worry while locked up here. Feel free to write the Headmaster on this matter, if that makes you feel better. Use the same way as for writing to me, all your letters to me arrive through the Headmaster first. Then he sends them back to me, unopened, with an owl, so that I won't feel any different from the other students." Of course, Lorena would advise Dumbledore that her father would surely write to him in this regard, so that the Headmaster would know what to write in order to appease her father.

"That good old Dumbledore. He's wise with kids. That's what I like with him. By the way, is it him that brought you here ?"

"No. He could not this time. Another professor did."

George Nottingham must have detected something in his daughter's voice that made him look closer at her, his nose almost touching the window pane between them too. "Who is it ?"

"Professor Snape, our Potions teacher and the Head of the House of Slytherin, to which I belong. The warden told me they could not let him in though."

"Shame, I would have liked to meet him. I met Dumbledore long ago, when he had come home to tell us that you were accepted into his school of you-know-what to become a you-know-which. I had had a good feeling with him then. That Snape fellow, I hope he treats you well in class. He'd better."

If only her father knew. _Well, he'll know one day, if I have to marry Severus._ Lorena managed to keep an aloof tone in her voice and an unreadable look on her face. She knew her father was very sensitive to voices, as a musician. "It's _Professor_ Snape, Dad. He's the Head of my House. Moreover, he's very strict in class. The kind of guy you don't mess up with. But a good teacher, all in all. He knows his subject, so that's okay. I like his class actually. Very interesting stuff, potions. I'm sure you'd like him." _The way he is, cranky like you are sometimes, you'd both get along surely._

"If you say so, I believe you. Talking about teachings, what about your music practice ? I hope you keep playing."

"Yes, don't worry about that. I've got a lot of school work going on but I can always find a bit of time to practice. I need it otherwise I'd go nuts. I usually go outdoors to practice but we had almost a month of very bad weather these last few weeks, so it was a bit hectic for me to play." _Between all my school work and the detentions with Severus…_

"I'm happy to hear that. Otherwise, your mother will skin me alive the day I go and meet her again up there."

"I know. You'd find trouble even in Heaven."

"Lorena ! Not a way to talk to your father !" he said a bit forcefully but he ended up chuckling. "Never been told that one. I'll remember it. Next time the judge sends me back to the joint again, I'll tell him that. Who knows ? I may weasel my way out thanks to my devastating sense of humor."

Lorena was not too pleased to hear that but she chose to laugh with her father instead. Neither of them had any idea when he would be free – free to go back to jail or not. Better not spoil the good moment they were having.

"_My_ devastating sense of humor, will you ? I was the one to come up with it first. On the other side, you may earn yourself a heavier sentence for contempt or insolence or whatever other offense they may come up with. I don't recommend it."

"With my mile-long record… a bit more won't make any difference. But a judge's face is sometimes priceless to see."

_Like a teacher's face, I guess._ "I've no doubt on that – with individuals such as you. I trust your experience."

George Nottingham looked at his daughter. She was no longer a child. She was a grown woman. An adult. She did not laugh to some of his jokes any more yet she was able to catch the irony of a situation. "You're an adult now, Lorena. Just hit 18. I realized that now. My daughter… is a woman now. Ah well, we should not grow old. But you know, you're still my beloved, precious, little thing and you'll always be… I love you."

Lorena smiled. "I love you too, Dad. Despite every thing, your shortcomings, your being a jailbird – but at least you're a bird. I love you, I want you to know that and to remember it. I'm not always proud of what you may have done, but I do love you, even if I don't like some of your actions. People and deeds are two different things."

"I love you too, daughter. I'll try to get hold of a recent pic of me that I could send you. The warden must have a mug shot of mine around there in his office. I know you cannot see but at least you may show your schoolmates and female teachers how handsome your old father is. Where do these good looks of yours come from – well, for half of them, your mum was so lovely," he quickly added, as if fearing future problems with his late wife. She had been the love of his life, too soon departed. He laughed again and Lorena laughed with him.

"You do that. In your next letter, if that's possible. You know what ? Professor Dumbledore told me that music was one of the most powerful magic in the world. So I guess you're a wizard in your own right. Do you manage to play a bit of music here ?"

"Yeah, I still have my blues harp with me. I've improved actually. I'd better, otherwise the other guys here would have already killed me. I thought that playing badly would be enough for the warden to get rid of me by releasing me but it doesn't work that way unfortunately."

Lorena laughed hard this time. So hard that her baby moved and she flinched. George Nottingham saw it. "Hey, daughter, I didn't mean to kill you !"

"Oh, no, that's okay, it's just that it was so funny, what you just said. Note that being a bad musician is not a legal ground to cart off someone to jail." She had perceived the worry in his voice and was careful not to show any sign betraying her condition.

"Some would deserve it anyway, and the key being thrown out of the window for good measure," he replied on cue, which triggered off more laughs from Lorena. "Good. Well, daughter, I guess the next time we'll be able to talk and laugh like this together, will be in six months, by the end of your school year. Unless I manage to get that parole. So… I wish you well for the rest of the academic year and good luck for any exams you may come up with."

Lorena knew what that meant. The moment to part was soon. George Nottingham was preparing her – and himself – for that difficult moment. A lump formed in her throat. She had decided not to cry in front of her father. She did not want to make him sad. She wanted him to see she was strong, aware he was as much shattered inside than she was – and maybe more. "I wish you well too. Feel free to write to me if you need anything or if there's any issue. Like you said, I'm all you have left. Don't start a riot. Behave. The staff here told me you were a model, that if all inmates could be like you, that jail would be a better place to live. I trust you. Keep on like this and I'm sure you'll get that parole."

"Young lady, it's not because you just hit 18, that you have to scold your old father like a kid." He paused. _Like the stupid kid I still am, to get me landed in the joint each time. If only your mother was still here, she could have kept me in check._ "Oh well, you're right, I promise you I'll behave. Like you promised me not to go after these Gaunt people. If you do, I'll start a riot to break the hell out of here, and come to rescue you from their clutches. Don't play the fool or else."

On hearing this, Lorena could help thinking about the Dark Lord's clutches. _Save that now the man that's going to rescue me is my future husband, no longer my father._ She sighed silently. "My father raised no fool. In the mean time, just keep on blowing in your blues harp. I train on my side on my violin. I found a room in the castle with a piano too, so I can practice both."

"Ah good, so that we can form a band soon. I'll just need to get in touch with the other guys once I'm outside, so that we may put the band back together as soon as I get out."

"Yes, you do that." Lorena knew that music was what kept her father going on, beside his daughter.

They parted by putting their right hands on the glass, as they always did in some kind of ritual, Lorena first, then her father matched his hand on hers through the glass. They had no physical contact yet, Lorena could perceive his emotions faintly through the window. Someone shouted 'Time's up !' in the parlor.

"Gotta go, Lorena. Take real good care of yourself."

"Take real good care of yourself too, Dad. Don't let them do anything to you."

"I won't, never fear." These were the last words she heard from her father. 'Never fear' could have been George Nottingham's motto, as fear was the last thing to rule his life. He even was a bit too much… brash sometimes. A very Gryffindor-like courage. After all, her father could have been sorted into the Lion House too.

"Dad ! Have a Merry Christmas !"

He smiled. "I already have, my daughter has come and seen me. That's the most beautiful Christmas gift I can receive. Merry Christmas to you too."

Then he left the place first. Lorena hanged up the receiver gently. She slid her Love-Snakes ring back on her finger. The officer went to take her away. She had managed to contain her tears so that her father would not have the last image of a crying daughter. She was brought back to Severus and they went out of the jailhouse.

But once outside the building, she just let everything go and cried thoroughly between Severus' arms, sobbing all she had for long minutes. The Potions Master said nothing, perceiving through their bond that there was nothing to do except for her to let it go. They took the bus back to Wizarding Liverpool, from where they Apparated back to Spinner's End.

Once they were back home, she was quiet and her eyes had dried, but she was so drained that she preferred to go to her bedroom, staying alone. She just took her instrument away with her to play in the bedroom. A few minutes later, Severus heard her play a few very sad tunes she knew, full of nostalgia, then silence fell over the house. He was worried but he deemed he had to leave her alone to come to terms with her grief – she had assured him that it was always like that after a visit to her father, and that would be temporary, that tomorrow was another day, a better day.

Just before dinner time, Severus went upstairs. He thought she may not wish to eat but in her condition, she had to. He found her sprawled on her bed, asleep. He watched her for long minutes, detailing her body, her face. One of her hands was on her belly.

Severus thought about the small life she sheltered there. A life they had conceived together in a blissful night he still wondered whether it had not been a dream. She looked peaceful though he could see she had cried. Her other hand held a handkerchief – the very same handkerchief he had given her more than one year ago, when she had become blind.

He came closer and sat on the bed. He removed a lock of her raven hair from her face, caressing her cheek at the same time. He remembered the Lughnasadh night, when he had deflowered her and made love to her several times in a row with utter joy. He also remembered the morning when he had raped her, just before term began. Once again, he had made a terrible mistake against a person he felt something for. Because with time, he had found out that he felt more than lust and desire for her.

There had been a few kisses between that moment and now. The last ones, in the library, when he had caught her in the Restricted Section, then in her dorm lately. He had perceived that her passion for him was still there, intact, even for a few minutes, time for him to possess her mouth, if not her body and soul.

How crazy he had felt when he had seen her kissing Alastor Moody. When he had seen her memory of Moody making love to her – and that she had enjoyed it. Jealousy, anger, sadness had taken over him, leaving him paralyzed, unable to act, at least on the spot. He had had to find a way to bring her back to him totally. Yet, now she was here, in his home, for two weeks. She had not come back to him so far but they were alone in his house. He was confident his plan would work.

Severus was there in his thoughts when he noticed that she was waking up slowly, her eyes opening. She could not see him but she recognized his touch on her face.

"Severus ?"

"Yes, Lorena. Dinner's ready."

"I'm not hungry."

"You may not but our son may. Now you come down with me."

"No, leave me alone."

"Stop acting like a child."

"I am a child. A child that misses her father awfully. Now leave me alone."

"No." He said no more. He could understand her distress. Yet, he could not let her act like a child. He took her wrists in his nervous hands to drag her to him. "You come with me, Lorena. Or face my… displeasure."

Her empty pale gray eyes were lost in the void. She was too tired to fight with him. She realized that they were together in a bedroom, she was on a bed and him sitting very close to her. His displeasure could turn out badly for her, like it had been the case already, when he had forced himself on her.

"Please, Lorena. Think of our son. You may not spend a good night if you're hungry or if… Alan is."

That was the first time he referred to the baby by the name she had decided to give him. Somehow, it made it for her and she agreed to follow him downstairs for dinner. "Don't mock me if I cry. I don't feel good at all."

"I understand." An idea had just popped up in Severus' mind. Maybe she would consent to a soothing moment with him, on his lap, in his armchair nearby the fireplace. Like during Summer, when they had spent lovely evenings like this, snogging together in each other's arms.

* * *

**_Now pay attention to all the details in that chapter – they will prove useful in the future._**

**_I've created Lorena's father based on another fictional character that I love to pieces : Jake Blues (of Blues Brothers fame, another fandom I love), played by the wonderful (and unfortunately late) John Belushi._**

**_Also, there's a hint about another movie character played by Alan Rickman_****_, that I enjoyed a lot too - you must have guessed who and in which movie already. Hence Lorena's surname. Chocolate cookies for those of you that let me know who and what movie. _**_**Nobody ever died from my cooking actually, so go on.**_

_**By the way, I got no reply about the reference to the Blues Brothers from the previous chapter.**_** "No one... how disappointing**_**," Severus would have said. In the movie, Jake's inmate registration number is 7474505B... Come on, people ! **_

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	67. Apologies and refusal

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**6****7 – Apologies and refusal**

Lorena felt a bit better after dinner. She was still sad but Severus took extra care not to distress her any further. Once they had finished their dinner, they went to the sitting room.

"Will you play a bit for me, Lorena ?"

She made a face, undecided. "I don't feel too much like it…" She sighed. "But I'll do it for you."

He looked at her with tender eyes – even if she could not see it. _Ignorance is bliss, they say. I say blindness is a blessing. _He put a tender hand on her shoulder in a comforting grip.

She took her instrument, checked the tune and began to play the same pieces that she had played before, when they had come back. While playing, tears rolled down her cheeks. Severus watched her carefully. He was amazed at her capacity to express emotion so freely – something he could not afford to do, something he always had difficulties doing anyway, something he wondered he could achieve one day.

She repeated some pieces several times, her face still expressing pain and sorrow, sadness and nostalgia. When she felt she had given everything she could, she stopped playing. She packed up and bid goodnight to Severus. He let her do, bidding her goodnight in return.

Lorena did not fall asleep at once. She was exhausted but her melancholia kept her awake. Later in the night, when Severus went to bed, he heard a very faint weeping sound coming from her bedroom. She usually cried silently – her sadness must have been deep this time. He wanted to enter and soothe her but refrained from doing so. Obviously, she wanted to be left alone to come to term with her grief. There was nothing else he could do.

* * *

Lorena managed to fall asleep out of crying eventually. She woke up late on the day after. She felt better but some sadness still lingered in her soul. She had always been sad after visiting her father. Yet, this time, it was different.

She was pregnant, and therefore more sensitive. But most of all, she had the feeling that this may have been the last time she may have seen her father. Worst of all, if she died at the hands of Voldemort, he may never know the truth about her death. Maybe Dumbledore would explain it to him. She made a mental note to see the Headmaster so that he could visit her father and explain everything to him. She could not ask the same to Severus as he should be dead by then, if she died, as per the Unbreakable Vow magic. No, only Dumbledore could do this for her – her father had had a good impression of the old wizard.

Lorena got up and prepared herself. It was nearly the end of the morning when she appeared downstairs. Severus met her in the sitting-room. He was at his desk, nearby the window, grading papers. He was not surprised to see her coming down so late as he had heard her weep faintly until late in the night. He had felt sad for her but there was nothing he could do then.

He rose to get to her. "How do you feel, Lorena ?" he asked, true concern in his voice.

"Better, Severus. Thank you for asking."

"I… I heard you crying late last night. I supposed you were exhausted."

She just nodded, a bit embarrassed that he had heard her. "I'm sorry if I disturbed your sleep."

"No, you didn't. I went to bed late and I heard you then. Do you want something to eat ?"

"No. I'm not that hungry. I'll wait for lunch. I think… I think I'm going to read. I need to read something that should keep my mind busy. It'll pass with a bit of time. I need a bit of time. Please."

Severus knew that she would come to terms with her sadness over her father. "I suggest you should read the book I had found you about the Love-Snakes, remember ? The one you were looking for in the Restricted Section of the library."

A poor smile curled her lips. "Yes, that's a good idea. If it's difficult enough, it should keep my mind busy and running into the right direction."

"I brought it because I knew you didn't have time to read it during your detentions with me. Here it is." Severus handed over the book to her. She took out her wand and went to sit on the sofa. She took the book and recognized the cover and binding material. She sat on the sofa. She began to read and for about one hour, complete silence fell over the room. She was reading, he was grading papers. But they felt good to be as such, close to each other.

One hour later, lunch was ready. Severus went to see Lorena to guide her to the kitchen table. He found her, slouching in the sofa, the book open on her lap, her eyes in the void. She seemed to have gone to an unknown world. She was not crying though. She was just in a deep, dreamy thinking, certainly processing what she had been reading.

"Lorena ? Lorena…" As she remained silent, oblivious of her surroundings – including him – Severus stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. As she was not coming back from her inner world, he decided to do what seemed most natural for him to do. He kissed her lips.

This time, she reacted. The soft pressure of his mouth on hers was sweet. Her lips parted and Severus could not resist. He enjoyed the occasion to give her a real lover's kiss. His tongue slid into her mouth, searching hers. He felt her sigh in the kiss and it sounded good. So he went on, deepening the kiss. Lorena seemed to enjoy it too. Her hands found his face, caressed his cheeks, his locks of hair.

They broke the kiss together. Severus looked at her hungrily. His hunger was also sexual. But now was meal time. "Lunch is ready, Lorena. Come and eat something with me, please," he said softly, while taking her hand in his to lead her to the kitchen.

She complied, inserting her wand between the pages she was reading as a bookmark, and putting the book aside carefully on the sofa. Yet, before they made it to the kitchen, Severus grabbed her and kissed her again, this time on her neck. She let him do. She could feel his desire as he hugged her closer to him. She heard him sigh in his kiss, as his tongue was trailing a mark of fire along her neck and her jawline.

"Severus, please…" she said faintly.

He let her go, aware that if he went on, they would never have lunch. His sexual hunger might be satisfied but it would be at her expense as she was obviously in no mood for lovemaking. He did not wish to be tempted to rape her – not after what had happened in the forest nearby the lake.

He guided her to the table, described her what was in her plate and where. She ate with appetite though as she had not eaten a lot the day before. She felt better when finished, especially with the chocolate cake that Ziggy had prepared for her. Severus watched her, amused and reassured to see she had eaten with gusto.

"Lorena, would you agree to have a walk with me after lunch ? The weather is not that great but it's not raining or sleeting. We could walk by the canal then go to the park where we used to go last Summer."

She thought about it. Well, that could be a change. "Yes, why not," she agreed. Walking would do her good. She smiled faintly at him. "Provided you do not walk too fast."

"I won't."

They finished their meal and got ready for the walk outside. In the meantime, the sun had decided to go out too. The weather was still cold but with thick cloaks and scarves, it was bearable.

Severus and Lorena went out of the house. He warded the place heavily, as usual. Then he took her hand in his. She let him guide her. He led her to the canal located a block away. The City Council had decided to improve the embankments so that people could walk or ride bicycles safely, away from cars. Trees had been planted too. The place promised to be nice in the future when trees would have grown.

For the time being, it was Winter and the canal still had this gloomy look, at least for Severus. Cleaner and far less polluted than during his childhood days but still the same sad, gray outlook. Some things would never change.

They walked in silence. Severus was careful not to walk with his large stride. He felt he needed to relax, no need to hurry. Lorena began to ask him to describe the landscape around them. She was attentive to the various sounds around them too. But there were not too many birds chirping in Winter. Besides, Severus' voice was always something she loved to listen.

They exchanged a few childhood memories – Lorena had also grew up in a poor area, in a less big city though, not an industrial suburb like Spinner's End. He also told her about his first friend, Lily, that had grown up here too, in the same area.

They arrived at the park. The same park that had witnessed their very first kiss. Soon, they found their favorite bench. Severus and Lorena sat there for a break from their walk. The sun was still out and they enjoyed the sunny weather, even if the temperature was not that great.

Severus got her closer to him so that she may not be cold. Lorena let him do. She had to reckon she appreciated his warm body temperature. His arm rounded her shoulders.

"Are you fine, Lorena ? Not too cold ?"

"No, that's okay, thank you, Severus."

Soon, she felt his warm breath on her cheek, quickly followed by his lips on her skin there. He needed to have a good snog with her obviously. She did not mind but she knew that with him, snogging would lead to shagging. He was a man, no more a teenager. She had already had a taste of his desire. She had been able to have a whole evening of snogging only with Draco Malfoy. But with Severus… he would wish to go further quickly. To the limits of his own lust.

Severus caressed her face gently before taking her mouth with his eventually. His kiss was first sweet before becoming full of passion and demanding. Lorena could not resist – she loved his kisses. He was a really good kisser. She believed she would be able to kiss him for hours. The problem was, Severus would always want to go all the way. For him, kissing and snogging had always been only a step before going on further. Well, he was a man, with the needs and wants of a man of his age. He loved kissing during lovemaking most.

Severus had also discovered that he loved kissing Lorena more than any other woman he had had before. Well, most of them had been prostitutes. He did not kiss them during sex. In fact, he had kissed very few women in his whole life. No wonder he enjoyed kissing Lorena a lot. He had the feeling that he possessed her, body and soul, with a kiss only. It really turned him on, more than with any other woman before. Not even with Lily – he had never kissed Lily like a lover anyway.

Lorena was different. Severus knew she loved his kisses. Even when he had raped her, he had kissed her thoroughly, like a lover. Save it had not been love but lust wrapped in rape indeed.

Now, sitting on that bench together, they enjoyed a real good kissing. Lorena soon found herself in Severus' arms, taking part in the kiss with gusto. She felt one of his hands caressing her belly, her own hands knotting around his neck, caressing his silky hair.

After long minutes spent as such, they broke the kiss. Severus stroked her face gently. "You're so beautiful, Lorena…" He felt moved by her suddenly. "How do you feel now ? Better ?"

"Yes… I'm always a bit depressed for a few days after seeing my father. But all in all, I feel better. Maybe… I'm just tired with my school work and my pregnancy makes me more sensitive."

She felt Severus' hand on her belly. She closed her eyes in appreciation. "You like my hand on you, Lorena…"

"I think _our son _likes it very much," she corrected.

"Then I think you like my kisses." He had an amused smirk on his face, totally lost on Lorena.

She could not deny it. He was right. She remained silent. He went on caressing her cheek with the back of his fingers. Again, she closed her eyes and turned her face slightly towards him, still in appreciation of his gesture. How much she liked his tender touch on her ! He could be so sweet, if only he could remain as such, instead of falling into that violent behavior of his every now and then, above all when sex was involved.

His hand over her belly took hers. He caressed it gently too. Lorena ended up squeezing his hand in hers, still appreciating his gesture. They both remain silent for long minutes.

"Lorena…"

She turned her head towards him. "Yes, Severus ?"

He remained silent. The words he wanted to say stayed stuck in his throat. "I wanted to tell you…"

She squeezed his hand a bit more, to encourage him to talk.

Severus was not one to talk about his own feelings easily. He had learned to hide them, first as a child at home, in front of his abusive father, then at Hogwarts in front of mocking schoolmates and some of the other Slytherins, at last in front of the Dark Lord and the other Death-Eaters. Even Albus had not access to his feelings though the old wizard knew most of his secrets.

While with Lorena… Severus knew he could let go a bit in front of her. She would never hurt him intentionally, she loved him – while he had hurt her several times willfully and her love would be unrequited.

But over time, his feelings for her had evolved. He had seen her able to sacrifice herself for higher goals, controlling her fear and despair, putting up with him and the Dark Lord. He had seen her mastering Occlumency and other magical skills with cold-blood and talent. Despite the pressure on her shoulders, her pregnancy and her disability, she was still able to keep up with her class, one of the top students of her year. The girl was resilient and courageous, two qualities he valued greatly.

She had been able to almost give her own life to save him. Just out of love for him. She was carrying his son. She still loved him despite his bouts of violence and lust towards her – one even having ended in actual rape.

Still, she was there, standing by his side and ready to go on. Despite him. Despite the grim future. Despite every thing.

Lorena felt some movement beside her. His arm left her shoulders, his warmth left her body. Yet, he still had her hand in his. Her perception told her he was now in front of her, kneeling at her feet. She turned her head in that direction, her eyes still empty though. "Severus ?"

"I wanted to tell you, Lorena… I'm sorry for everything I did to you."

She seemed not to understand. He went on. "I'm sorry for all the harm I did to you while… while I owe you my life."

Lorena could not believe what she had just heard. These words were the last thing she expected to hear from the Potions Master. She remained silent.

"I wish to make amends, Lorena. After what I told you a few days ago…"

She was still silent, her empty gaze lost in the void.

"After what I did to you… without your consent… my being brutal with you…" He spoke very softly, shame could be clearly heard in his words.

She was motionless, as if trying to let his words sink in her. He alluded to the rape and the attempts he had committed against her. The scenes replayed in her mind. She had managed over time to block the sensations and the sounds around the rape – though she could not get over it in terms of feelings. But this time, every thing came back forcefully to her mind. She could feel his weight on her body, his nervous hands clasping her wrists to control her, his maleness ramming in her body ruthlessly, his voice dripping with desire and want, his lustful kisses, his whole body plundering hers, stealing pleasure from her without giving her back none.

Severus was watching her, attentive to the least movement from her. She seemed to have retreated into a very remote world of hers. A world very far from him, some kind of protective bubble. He squeezed her hand. She did not respond.

He lowered his eyes, in disarray as to her complete lack of reaction. He grabbed her hips, hugging her legs against his body, putting his head on her lap. "I'm sorry, Lorena ! Please ! Will you forgive me one day ?"

The words arrived to her mind eventually. He was _begging_. She just did not know what to do with them. After long seconds he had uttered them, he felt a hand on his head, caressing his hair slowly.

He seemed reassured by her gesture. "Did I ever told you, Lorena… I…" Somehow the words could not make it out. "I care for you." It was just a whisper but the young woman's acute hearing had heard the words anyway.

He turned his head up to her. "I care for you, Lorena." At the same time, a tear fell from her cheek onto his face. Her lips parted as if she wanted to say something. They trembled, seized by emotion or pain, he could not have said. She continued to caress his hair gently, still halfway between this world and her inner world.

"Please, Lorena…" He sighed. "I humbly beg your pardon for all the bad things I did or said to you." A pause. "I care for you, Lorena."

"Severus…" she whispered after a time that seemed like an eternity to the Potions Master. Another tear fell from her face onto his. His given name sounded like a love word on her lips. "Severus…"

The Potions Master raised a hand towards her face to wipe her tears gently. She felt his hand against her cheek. Her face coiled slightly against it, enjoying it, putting her lips on it for a light kiss. Her hand on his hair went to caress his face, still with the same gentleness.

"Severus…" She bent towards him and their lips met again. This time, the contact was electrifying. Under the force of their feelings, the bond between them opened widely. They felt a rush of something that seemed like magic, as if their souls could move freely from one to the other. He moved upwards, to sit beside her again on the bench, without breaking the kiss.

They kissed passionately for long minutes, alone in their own world, oblivious of every thing around them. All traces of fear, sadness, regret, sorrow, suspicion, remorse, had disappeared. Remained only their feelings and their sensuality. They felt strangely high and quiet at the same time, pretty much like they had been in the cave during the ritual, after drinking the Elixir.

They lost track of time. They realized they had to go back home as darkness took the day. They came back home hand in hand. Yet, their hunger for each other had not been quenched – on the contrary.

They arrived home and found Ziggy preparing the dinner. Severus and Lorena could not decently resume their snogging while the house elf was present. Through their bond, they expressed to each other their mutual wish for being together alone.

Ziggy informed them the dinner was ready. Severus thanked him and instructed him not to come back until the next morning. The house elf was surprised but told them he would obey his master's orders, as usual. Once he was gone, Severus took Lorena's hand in his and dragged her to his armchair. He sat down there and he guided her to his lap.

Once more, they were in each other's arms and they quickly resumed their intense kissing. After a long moment, they stopped. Severus stroked Lorena's cheek. "I want to make love with you, Lorena," he simply said. "I want to love you… Let me love you…" He felt her reluctance. "I won't hurt you, Lorena. I can promise you that."

She suddenly jumped away from him, turning her back on him. He rose to go to her. "I don't want, Severus… I'm afraid !"

"You were not afraid to make love with Alastor Moody," he said suddenly cold.

She turned towards him briskly. "That's surely because I knew he would not hurt me ! While you…" She put her hands on her face. "I'm not afraid to make love. I'm afraid to make love _with you_ ! Only Merlin knows how it will end up, once I'm in your bed !"

"I told you, I won't hurt you."

"Last time you said the same thing and you raped me all the same !" She swallowed. "I'm sorry, Severus, but no, I won't."

"You can't do that to me…" His voice trailed off, dripping with desire. He wanted her and she denied him. That was unbearable.

"If you care for me, like you said, just let me go. Give me some time. Please."

_She's afraid of me because I raped her. I've got only myself to blame._

So he did as she asked him. He let go of her, desperate to spend another night alone in his bed.

"Alright. Let's eat, especially you. I don't want MY son to starve to death just because his mother behaves irresponsibly." He had lashed out his sarcasm hoping it would hurt her like she had just hurt him with her refusal of him.

Lorena did not take the bait. Silently, she went to the kitchen and ate the content of her plate. The atmosphere around the table was heavy. She could feel his frustration and pent-up anger. He had been so sweet, so nice with her during the afternoon ! It was as if two opposite personalities inhabited the same man. She decided to keep her cold-blood, remaining silent, sheltering herself in her world. Only Merlin knew what reactions he could have. In fact, Lorena knew it : he would be surely violent and she did not wish to be the target of it. She had already had a taste of his law. She was afraid but crushed her fear mercilessly inside her, in a true Slytherin fashion.

Severus ate his plate too but once he was sure she was done, he left the kitchen. She heard him getting ready to go out. He took his scarf and cloak. "I'm going out," he said flatly. But Lorena could hear in his voice all the anger and frustration he felt.

"Severus ! Where are you going ?" She was worried all of a sudden, not for herself but for him.

"Nowhere of interest to you." His tone was cold and dangerous.

"You can't go out like this !" she insisted, panic in her voice.

"If you're anxious about your safety, know that I'll ward the house as usual. Do not even think about going out – you'll be repelled inside."

She stood up suddenly. "I'm not worried about _me_, Severus ! I'm worried about _you_ !" she said forcefully.

He looked at her hungrily. "I don't need _you_ to worry about _me_ ! After all…" He searched for a scathing comment to unleash. "After all, you were not so worried about me when you let Moody shag you !" He bit his tongue as he was about to add a very derogative comment about her. Yes, he had 'Mudblood whore' on his tongue but the words never made it out.

"Please just tell me where you're going…"

"That's none of your concern."

"Severus ! SEVERUS !"

Only the slam of the door responded her call.

Lorena closed her eyes. They were stinging with the onslaught of tears. She let herself fall down to her knees. "Oh, Severus, why are things so difficult with you ?" she said aloud. "I love you, Severus… why can't you just understand a little bit ? Just a little bit ?"

She had cried a lot over her father lately. She had thought that she had no more tears to shed. To her great dismay, she still had – and even more, to cry over the man she so desperately loved but that did not love her and could in no way understand he was at the core of her most intimate fears.

Lorena remembered what Poppy Pomfrey had told her : no contrariety whatsoever. Well, she had had double dose these last few days. She sagged on her knees against Severus' armchair nearby. _He had been told the same but he doesn't give a damn about it ! He says he cares about me but I can see that these are just empty words._ She sobbed, still amazed that she could cry.

_What kind of man are you, Severus Snape ? Am I condemned to spend my life crying over the men I love, be they you or my father ? Too much love will kill me…_

* * *

**_We love when Severus is all sweet on Lorena – yet, I hope he's still in character, apologies and all. Though his mood can change so fast when his feelings and lust are concerned. He could really let go in front of her, departing from his usual collected, controlled temper, yet he doesn't do it – still held up by this same temper. I think he's lost in his own feelings. What do you think, dear readers ?_**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	68. A conscience on a very short leash

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**6****8 – A conscience on a very short leash**

The cold temperature outside did not cool down Severus' resent. On the contrary. His blood boiled with anger and lust. A dangerous combination, as far as he was concerned. He had gone out of the house for that reason. His temper was too much volatile to stay nearby the very person that consumed him most now.

Escaping the place would have been more exact. For long seconds, during his row with Lorena, Severus had felt he would have been able to give in to his lust, fueled by his anger at the memory of Moody kissing and shagging her, while she refused herself to him. Yes, he had to admit it : he had been on the verge of assaulting her again, ready to take her no matter what, against her will, once more. This girl made him go crazy, she brought his senses to levels he could no longer control.

He did not go far. In fact, he walked for five minutes, time for his reason to come back and take over his senses and frustration. He did not wish to come home that quick though. He chose an intermediate solution : he took position opposite the house, across the street, hidden in the dark alley where they usually Apparated. He had the full view of the house while being hidden from onlookers, shrouded under his black cloak. Of course, as Lorena was blind, he did not care whether she could see him or not through the windows.

Yet, there was his Love-Snakes ring. He touched his ring under his garments. He blocked all the feelings he felt for Lorena, so as not to trigger off any reaction in the tiny creatures, a reaction that would manifest itself in her ring and thus betray his presence nearby. He cared for the young woman, he wanted her to care for him.

_She loves you, she already care__s for you. She saved your life, of course she cares for you !_

But Severus was too much proud to go back home now. He would eventually but not now, despite the cold around, despite the danger of being alone out at this time of the day in this area. His hand tightened around his wand under his cloak. He had grown up in Spinner's End, he knew that there were some thugs lurking around. He was ready to fight, including using magic if necessary.

He leaned against the wall, in a dark recess that sheltered him from the chilly wind. His back against the wall, he was in a position that allowed him to watch the house and to think about the row they had just had.

The girl was clearly afraid of him. She had not been afraid of Moody. What Moody could have more than him ? Severus knew he shared many common traits with the ex-Auror. All the same. _At least, if he had looked as handsome as that nitwit Gilderoy Lockhart, I could have understood…_ Severus realized that Lorena being blind, handsome features were not an essential criterion for her to decide between several possible partners. Kindness, sensitivity, carefulness, wit, knowledge and intelligence, were the criteria she would use to select a man.

That was even more true as she had never met Moody before becoming blind. While she had been in Severus' Potions class since the beginning. Yet, she did not seem to have been attracted to him because of his physical looks. Severus knew he was not a looker. But what he lacked in beauty, he compensated largely in intellectual brilliance, wit and knowledge.

Lorena had not been afraid to follow Draco Malfoy to his family home, probably hoping to… to have sex with the young man ? Surely not. Now Severus was sure of that. But if the boy had shown her a bit of gentleness, that had been enough to change the odds in his favor. The Potions Master knew his godson : behind his arrogant toerag attitude, Draco could be genuinely witty and funny. Severus felt anger rising in his chest, along with a sharp pain, a mix of jealousy, sorrow and loss. He was jealous, he was sad, he felt his relationship with Lorena was going nowhere.

Bringing her to Spinner's End had not been a good idea after all. It had not brought the outcome he expected. She was not in his bed, they even had a row and now, he was about to spend the night outside his own house in the heart of December.

_If she's __scared, that's your fault. Moody did not rape her, that's why she was not afraid of him. I did, and now, here is the outcome !_ Severus' mind began to scan all the paths ahead possible. Including the dead ends. Thinking methodically should at least help him cool down. Well, it was worth a try.

Bringing her back to Hogwarts and leave her alone in the castle, while spending the rest of the holidays here ? No. Severus wanted to keep an eye on her, as per the Dark Lord's wishes. There would be hell to pay for him if Voldemort learned that he was in Spinner's End and the girl at Hogwarts. _I'm already in Hell_, he thought. Besides, he knew he would not be able to think clearly if she was away from him. He would be dead worried about her, even if he knew that Hogwarts was the safest place for her to be.

They may come back together to the school. But it would not change things a lot. They would be the only Slytherins in the dungeons and sooner or later, he would be tempted to… He remembered his fantasy : to make love to her in her dorm. _She doesn't want you to touch her._ It would start with a kiss and only Merlin knew how it would end. Well, Severus knew too : he would take her there, no matter what.

Staying here together at Spinner's End ? Do as if nothing had happened between them ? Ignoring her ? Impossible. He was too much attracted to her by now to do so. He could trust his senses to betray him. Sooner or later, he would try to take her in his arms and kiss her like mad.

Of course, he could take her without her consent, so that he could satisfy his hunger of her. Yes, but the Unbreakable Vow may not agree. He could pay dearly those few minutes of pleasure then. He suddenly wondered if the branch that had broken over his body in the forest, had not been an effect of the Vow rather than the outburst of magic from the young woman he had been about to claim as his…

_There must be a way…_ Severus let the stream of his consciousness wander. She was afraid of him. She was obviously anxious about having sex with him. He could not blame her. She needed to trust him again. _She loves me, how come she cannot trust me ?_ She may trust _him_ but she did not trust his senses. _But she had loved sex with me, in the cave. The cave…_ The memory soothed his aching soul. He played the scene in his mind again. The smell of the plants burning in the four cauldrons. The golden light glowing above them during their lovemaking. Their screams of pleasure, the chant of the blissful sexual joy they had shared together. The Elixir they had shared together, the taste of it still on his tongue...

_The Elixir… The Elixir. The Elixir !_

The Elixir was both an aphrodisiac and a relaxing draught. If she was afraid of him in a bed, she would no longer be once the substance in her system. He just had to find out if it was not dangerous for the child she carried. The Elixir being designed for enhancing fertility, logically, it should not be a danger for a pregnant woman.

A smirk appeared on Severus' mouth. He knew what he would do next. The potion had been easy to whip up. Of course, there would be no virgin blood. However, the basic preparation was deprived of it, as Lorena had not been deflowered yet. It had worked nonetheless, for the first intercourse. Severus had studied the Elixir a little in the aftermath. The virgin blood part was not that clear to him yet though he strongly suspected that it may serve to seal the bond between the two partners. He had noticed though that the ritual was deeply rooted in elemenal magic, that this particular brand of magic had numerous links with blood magic. It had intrigued him. His further studies and reflections had led him to think that blood magic – usually a branch of the Dark Arts – could be used for positive purposes in elemental magic. He had not excluded the fact that elemental magic had clearly a connection with the Dark Arts and Dark magic – in which he was particularly proficient. His assumptions had been confirmed by Lord Voldemort's plans. _The old ways… very powerful, very ancient, very Dark magic._ Elemental magic had aspects of all of the three.

Severus decided that it was time now for him to go back home. Going out in the cold had cleared his mind somehow. He would prepare the Elixir and find a way to have her take it, using all his Slytherin cunning for that purpose. Whether she were aware of it or not was not an issue for Severus. He was used to hold his conscience on a very short leash. As long as she ended up in his bed, consenting, nothing else was important. After all, the ends justified the means.

Severus crossed the street to his house. The light was still on inside. Lorena being blind, she did not care about this detail and had most likely forgotten to switch off the lights. He disabled the wards, time for him to enter the house, then put them up again for the night as usual.

He moved silently in the house, in the same manner he used when patrolling the castle at night, as he did not know where she was. The lit sitting-room was empty. She was probably in her room now. To make sure, he checked the kitchen too. The table had been cleaned and the dishes were drying in the rack nearby the sink. Severus wondered if Lorena had called Ziggy to take care of this.

He went back to the sitting-room. He needed to complete a bit of research. He quickly found the book that had described the virginity ritual and that they had used then last Summer. That would be a good start about the Elixir and its possible effects on a pregnant woman. He grabbed the book to read it in his bedroom – his mind was working full speed, he would not be able to sleep right now.

He switched off the lights downstairs and proceeded upstairs silently. The bathroom door was open but there was nobody there. She could be nowhere but in her bedroom. He walked there and with a swift gesture of his wand, he tried to open her door silently. Yet, the door resisted. She had warded it. The spell was simple and Severus disabled it quickly. The door opened in no time but the message was clear : she did not trust him to the point she had warded her room. He was not welcomed there.

Some moonlight filtered through the window. She was there, deeply asleep in her bed, a handkerchief in her hand. His handkerchief. She must have cried to sleep. Even in that state, she was beautiful, the moonlight casting an eerie shade on her features.

Severus was moved by the sight. He resisted his impulse to kiss her cheek or forehead or lips, lest she may wake up. She needed sleep. Still as silently as before, he left the room to go back to his. He even set up back the ward she had put into place. He would brew the Elixir tomorrow.

_Tomorrow, she'll be mine again._

* * *

Lorena had cried for long minutes after Severus had left the house. She felt bad that he had gone. This was _his_ house after all ! If one of them had to leave, it was _her_. Thing was, he had set up wards that kept her imprisoned as she could not leave the place. She was a powerful witch but he was much more experienced a wizard. There was no way for her to disable his wards. He was a creative inventor of various spells and hexes and curses, he has surely designed wards that belonged only to him, that only he could disable.

_The Floo…_ She remembered Severus had told her that his hearth was not connected to the Floo network – understandable for a Death-Eater and double-agent for the Order of the Phoenix. Spinner's End was probably the only place where he could get some peace away from his fellow Death-Eaters and Order members, and his two masters. Hence his will to come here to spend a few days, hence his attachment to a place that meant a miserable childhood for him.

Besides, going out where ? It was night, she was blind, pregnant, she did not know the place. She could not even Apparate. Severus had hinted several times that the area could be dangerous at night for lonely walkers.

That was what worried her most. What if something happened to Severus ? What if thugs attacked him in a deserted alleyway and left him bleeding to death ? She chased these thoughts out of her mind. He was an expert duelist and she was sure he would not hesitate a single second to use magic against any opponent, magical or Muggle. In the latter case, he could cast a few Obliviates afterwards. He was a big boy, he could handle himself in any situation.

_I can't handle him, that's all._ She was afraid of him in a bed but she had to reckon she felt safe with him anywhere else. Yet, she would ask Professor Dumbledore if there was a way to get out of the third part of the Unbreakable Vow – the part that bound Severus to marry her.

She had gone to bed, her heart heavy, tears on her face. She set up a ward on the door. She had no illusion – Severus would be able to lift it in no time. But at least he would see that she did not trust him.

She was a prisoner here, in this house. _Why did I accept to come here ? I should have gone to the Headmaster and told him I wanted to stay at Hogwarts._ She put on her nightgown and slid herself between the sheets. Her only joy was feeling her child moving in her womb. But even that joy did not last. She wondered what would become of her once the baby would be born. She would have to deal with Severus and the Dark Lord. Something told her that Albus Dumbledore would not hesitate to use her again.

Lorena wanted to run away. _Where ? Who could help me ?_ Draco Malfoy ? The young man would be of no help and after what Severus had told her about his father, Lucius Malfoy, that was not a good idea. Maybe Alastor Moody would help her then. He would understand, he was trustworthy, reliable and dependable. Yet, he was also a good friend of Dumbledore and he would probably surrender her to the Headmaster.

She thought about her grandmother, who had run away from her family to the point she had hidden her history up to the moment she had married her grandfather. _Maybe I should do the same. Get lost for everyone._ The rational part of her mind knew that would be very difficult. Lord Voldemort would do every thing in his power to find her and her child – whom he thought was _his_ child. She knew about the old ways. A child conceived on Halloween night, by force, was a powerful magical implement for a Dark blood magic sacrifice.

Her anxiety grew at the grim prospect. She had to tap into her inner force to calm down. She did not dare take a relaxing potion she had seen in the bathroom, lest it may harm her child.

Then there was the no less grim prospect of her union with Severus Snape, because of the Unbreakable Vow. She had hoped he would just give their child his name but the man was bent on getting more from her. _Maybe the magic behind the Vow will help me put up with him._ She was not so sure.

_My father's in jail._ _I have nobody else. _She felt particularly vulnerable, at the mercy of the only person that would have to help her – Severus Snape. She cried again, getting his handkerchief out and dabbing her tears with it. How much time passed by, she could not have told. Yet, she fell asleep eventually.

* * *

**_Looks like that our ever-imaginative Severus has found a way to get Lorena back. He's a Slytherin ! Very determined, very resourceful, a man for which the ends justify the means._**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	69. Brewing up to no good

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**6****9 – Brewing up to no good**

The day after brought some sun, quickly replaced by thick clouds of a dull, milky color. Lorena could not see it but she perceived it was day. She rose from bed and made her way to the bathroom. She was sure she looked awful, having cried a good deal of the previous evening. She wondered if Severus had come back. The house was silent.

Lorena made it downstairs once she was sure her looks would not betray her sorrow. There was nobody downstairs and for a moment, she thought that Severus had not come back. She felt a panic overwhelm her which she buried ruthlessly inside her soul.

She went to the kitchen. She helped herself a cup of tea. She had managed to do the washing-up the evening before, as Severus had ordered his house elf not to come back until the morning after. Now, the morning seemed to be well advanced and Ziggy would not come back until lunch time. She did not wish the perceptive little creature to feel or notice anything about her. About her and Severus. So she did not call the house elf.

She sipped her tea slowly, wondering where the Potions Master was. Maybe he was still asleep in his bedroom after all, especially if he had spent the whole night outside. But she would not check on him. Only Merlin knew what would happen there. So she decided to remain ignorant of his whereabouts.

Lorena finished her tea and washed the mug. She went to the sitting-room and sat on the sofa. Her book about the Love-Snakes was still there, with her wand left at the same page she had left. She realized she had trusted Severus and his wards implicitely as she had left her wand downstairs. She could not have been able to defend herself had someone had entered the house.

_Rubbish… you can perform wandless magic. You can use psychokinesis and trigger off fire with only your willpower at work__. You can defend yourself._ She took the book and resumed her reading where she had left it.

The book proved to be more and more interesting. Its first chapter described everything about Love-Snakes, their anatomy, their physiology, their habits, how they bred and live. Their psychology was studied in the second chapter. _A whole chapter devoted to their psychology, that speaks volumes_, she mused. That was not in vain. At the end of the second chapter, Lorena was convinced that these tiny creatures were indeed almost sentient beings. She promised herself she would never use them as potion ingredients. It would be sacrilege, criminal in her opinion. She had grown fonder and fonder of them.

She thought about them and noticed that she had not fed them much these days – unless they could live on sorrow. She sent them a powerful love wave and she could feel in return they were pleased. Almost absent-mindedly, she began to speak to them in Parseltongue.

Severus chose that moment to come back from the basement where he had spent most of the morning, brewing the Elixir. At this stage, the preparation allowed him a few minutes break and he enjoyed it to have a cup of tea. He had heard hissing sounds coming from the sitting-room. He had crept in silently, as he did in the castle. He had recognized Parseltongue. He had heard it enough with the Dark Lord to know what it was. This language had always triggered off some uneasiness in him. Like many other wizards, he had associated it with the Dark Arts and the Dark Lord. To hear it on Lorena's lips was weird – it did not feel right.

He saw she was talking to her left hand. Well, to the ring there. The Love-Snakes. Of course, he had no other way to know what she was telling them. She became silent. At the same time, he felt a trickle on his own ring, under his garments, followed by a comfortable sensation, like every time she sent a love wave.

She turned her head towards the sitting-room entrance. "Severus ?" she called, a mix of anxiety and relief in her voice. Her face reflected her tone, her empty pale gray eyes staring in the void.

He pondered whether he should make his presence known or not. _Ridiculous, I need to go to the kitchen and she'll soon notice you're here, with that perception of hers._ "Yes, Lorena. I'm here." His voice was cool and detached.

His dark eyes still trained on her face, he could read clear relief on her features. She sighed, her eyes closing for a short moment. She wanted to tell him she was happy he was there but it would not be true. She was relieved, not happy actually. She remained silent.

Severus went to the kitchen and prepared himself some tea. They both felt awkward. They did not know what to say to each other after the row they had had last evening. Lorena decided to say nothing and tried to focus on her book again, though she was all the more attentive to what he was doing. She could hear him prepare himself some tea. Her extra sensorial perception was wide open, while she Occluded her mind. It was not easy to focus on two apparently opposite mental tasks but she managed to maintain them for the time necessary.

He came back to the sitting-room with a cup of tea in his hand. She could hear the swift movement of his school robe, even feel the wool of it against her body, as he was passing by her on his way back to the basement. Usually, he did not wear it here. Maybe he felt cold. She did not wish to touch him to know more through her contact telepathy – he would sense it and Merlin knew what that would trigger off from him.

She only heard the basement door close gently. _The basement._ She remembered what he had there. _A potion lab. So he's brewing something._ Well, that was no surprise, he was a Potions Master after all.

Professor Severus Snape was brewing something indeed – in each and every sense of the term.

* * *

By one o'clock, the Elixir was made. It just had to cool down. Severus looked at it. The hot liquid was of a gold color, pretty much like 'Felix Felicis'. It just toned down to amber once cool. Whereas 'Felix Felicis' was one of the most difficult potions to make, the Elixir was easy to whip up, too easy for such a complex product in its effects and interaction with the human metabolism. A product able to have different effects whether it was ingested by a man or a woman. Severus had also checked that it had no adverse side-effects on pregnancies. As he had surmised, the Elixir being part of a fertility ritual, it had no effect whatsoever on a gravid body.

He remained silent as he watched the Elixir gently simmering down in the cauldron. _Poppy will surely have my hide for what I'm going to do with that Elixir… Well, she doesn't need to know. What happens here, between the walls of my house, is of no concern to anyone, except to me and Lorena. _Even the young woman would have no say in all this. He had decided to drug her without telling her first.

His mouth twisted with a smirk. By tonight, the Elixir would have gone cold and definitively be ready for use. He would just need to slip a few drops in her glass of water to make her wanton for sex. He could also take one drop or two himself – he would see then.

_Ah, __possession is sweet… Tonight, she'll be mine. Again. _

* * *

Severus felt suddenly better. He came back upstairs after closing the lab door and warding it. He also Occluded his mind. He did not wish Lorena to discover what he had been brewing – in each and every sense of the term.

Severus found Lorena still reading in the sofa. Wand in hand, she had a thoughtful expression on her features. She was deeply absorbed by her reading and the information she got from the book, though her gaze was trained in the void in front of her.

He watched her. He found her beautiful. Her empty pale gray gaze had something disturbing but to someone used to it, it carried a rather dreamy quality that conveyed sweetness. Severus realized that her gaze was the exact opposite of his own, dark and drilling, sharp and cruel. In many ways, she was the exact opposite of him.

He felt ill-at-ease with the young woman. He knew they could not ignore each other for long. Not with what he had in mind for tonight. "Did you have lunch ?" he asked rather abruptly.

She turned her head towards him. "Not yet. I guess… I lost track of time." Her voice was unsure. Obviously, she did not know how to deal with him, what his reaction could be, after the row they had had the evening before.

"Come with me then. I'm starving and you must be too." He came to her and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. He knew that the contact could inform her about his intentions through her telepathy. He Occluded his mind even tighter. Lorena did not discuss and followed him to the kitchen. Ziggy was putting the food on the table. He squealed and quickly retreated, after bowing deep in front of them. Severus thanked him and reassured him he was not angry. The little creature had explained that the Master was nowhere to be seen and the Mistress deep in her book. He had not dared disturb her about the meal.

He disappeared in a loud crack. Lorena and Severus began their meal in silence, except for the few words Severus said about the content of her plate. The food was excellent as usual and they enjoyed it. They finished in silence. Lorena disposed of the dishes and began to do the washing-up.

"You don't have to do this, Lorena," Severus said.

"I know. Yet, I don't mind. I made it yesterday, so I guess I can do it today too."

"How come Ziggy did not do it yesterday ?"

"You had ordered him not to come back until this morning. I didn't want to put him in an awkward position with you. You're his master, not I. Besides, I can handle this kind of situation. It provided me with an easy distraction."

This was the first allusion to the evening before.

"You were upset yesterday," he said softly.

Lorena stopped cleaning the plate she had in hand, pondering what to say. "I was indeed," she replied a bit harshly. Her hand resumed its cleaning work.

There was silence. Her perception was wide open. A few seconds later, she felt his warm presence behind her, though they were not in physical contact. She soon felt his hands on her shoulders. "I should not have made you upset. Ms Pomfrey had warned me about it."

Lorena said nothing. She construed his words as the closest she would get as an apology. Soon, she felt his fingers on her jawline, his breath on her ear, as he leaned towards her. He put a delicate kiss on her cheek before leaving the kitchen, leaving her no time to rebel against his gesture.

Lorena resumed the washing-up. Once she was done, she went back to the sofa in the sitting-room. Severus was in his armchair, reading the newspaper. "How's your reading ?" he enquired when she picked up the book.

"Interesting," she replied in a clipped tone. "I find totally disgusting that some Potions Masters use Love-Snakes as mere ingredients. That's revolting." Her tone had something of a sneer.

"Know that I'm not one of them," he replied flatly.

"Glad to hear that. These creatures are almost sentient. I'm reading the chapter about their psychology and it's clear to me that this use is barbaric and should be forbidden."

"Unfortunately, they are used in some love potions in foreign lands. Should a law be passed by the Wizengamot or the Ministry of Magic, it would apply only in Britain."

"How did you get them then ?"

"True I have my own suppliers for potion ingredients. It may be possible that some wizards here use Love-Snakes as such. Yet, I didn't get them from my usual circuits. I got them from a goblin I know at Gringotts, who is a specialist in exotic jewelry. If you want to know the whole story, I had saved his son with one of my potions a few years back. He owed me."

Lorena said nothing. However, Severus could see the wheels in her head turning. "You mentioned some wizards here, that may use them as potion ingredients. Do… Does the Dark Lord be one of them ?"

Severus watched her carefully. "The Dark Lord is a very powerful and gifted wizard. Yet, I don't think he'd spend his precious time making potions. He delegates this task to me."

"You mean… you're not only the Hogwarts Potions Master, but also… the Dark Lord's ?"

"My knowledge of potions is not limited to the calming draughts and other healing potions mostly needed in a school of witchcraft and wizardry. It includes Dark potions as well. These are… The Dark Lord needs them sometimes." There was something strained in his voice that Lorena detected at once.

"That brings me back to my initial question. If you don't use Love-Snakes as potion ingredients, does that mean that the Dark Lord does not use them either ? Unless… Love-Snakes are not used in Dark potions ?"

"Your last assumption is correct. Besides, think of it : only their name should prevent the Dark Lord from using a potion that includes them."

"I should have thought about that indeed. The man doesn't know anything about love." She turned her face away, a gesture that Severus construed as an attempt to forget what the Dark Lord had done to her.

"The Dark Lord considers love as a weakness," Severus commented dryly.

She snorted. "I had guessed that already. I wonder how he can dream of ever possessing my elemental magic if he despises what lies at its very core."

"Keep in mind that while the Dark Lord is gifted and powerful a wizard, he is blatantly ignorant of many other things. He discards what he considers of having no importance or not worthy of bringing him more power or concepts he cannot grasp." He paused. "That is his true weakness indeed." He sounded almost triumphant. Lorena perceived that as a spy, this was essential knowledge, a weakness that surely Albus Dumbledore did exploit completely to his own advantage.

"Except that he's now convinced that my elemental magic may bring him more power. From what I gathered, he's not discarded it."

"True. Let me rephrase that then. The power you may bring him does interest him, make no mistake. He's just not interested in what lies at its very foundation. He is not interested in the causes, because he doesn't understand them. He doesn't understand elemental magic and what it is really all about. That… shall lose him eventually."

She nodded thoughtfully. "Yes, that's a fundamental difference indeed." She went back to her book, showing him that the talk was over. Severus watched her for a moment before coming back to his own reading. He was glad they had had a civil conversation together. He let her continue, a smirk on his lips. The next chapter of the book dealt with the relationship between Love-Snakes and Dark magic. She should be in for an intellectual ride for her greatest pleasure.

Around four o'clock, he left the sitting-room and went back to his lab. The Elixir was cold now in its cauldron. Its golden color had turned into an amber hue. Severus smiled, he was satisfied with the outcome. He fetched a small vial, with a drop-by-drop stopper. He uncorked it and was about to pour some into the vial when he stopped. The ladle fell back into the cauldron.

A sudden intuition had popped into his mind. He sat down to think about it. He took a bit of parchment and a quill to note down his ideas. The conversation he had just had with Lorena had given him two paths to explore. The Elixir was supposed to be added virgin blood. By a rather strange and complex association of ideas, he wondered what would be the effect of the Elixir if it were added 1) a few drops of his own blood ; 2) a few drops of her blood, but of course not from her hymen ; 3) if the Love-Snakes were themselves immersed in the Elixir, in replacement of the virgin blood ; 4) if all of the above were mixed with the Elixir.

He needed to make more research about all this. He Summoned four other vials. One he would destine to the Elixir and the Love-Snakes, the other for the Elixir with his own blood addition, the third one for the Elixir with Lorena's blood. The last vial would be for the mix of all the previous three. He needed the Elixir tonight, so he would use it as prepared. His intuition required thorough research and verification before being used, he could not test it like this, especially on a pregnant woman. A woman pregnant with his child.

He stored the Elixir and labeled the vials with the indications for future use and reference. It would provide him the excuse that he was conducting research about the Elixir, something he had wanted to do since the first time he had experimented it. As for the parchment, he rolled it and put it in a drawer where he kept his research papers.

He corked the small vial and put it in his frock coat pocket for later use. Doing so, he had a satisfied smile on his lips. He just had to be careful about how to give her the Elixir. Lorena was very perceptive and he did not wish her to find out that he had drugged her to achieve his ends.

_My __dear Lorena… you cannot imagine how much a source of inspiration you are to me…_

* * *

**__****Where we learn more about Love-Snakes.**

_**Severus is more Slytherin than ever, brewing up to no good, of course.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	70. Love Snakes and Dark Marks

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**70**** – Love-Snakes and Dark Marks**

The dinner was spent talking about the book on Love-Snakes. The conversation was pleasant and Lorena was glad to have back the Severus Snape of old, with whom she could exchange ideas and reflections on a wide range of subjects. He knew so many things ! She wanted to learn so much ! Their intellectual pleasure was mutual. They continued the conversation once back to the sitting-room after dinner.

She had indeed read the next chapter about the relationship between Love-Snakes and Dark magic. It was not Dark magic explicitly but blood magic. Yet, Lorena was no fool. Blood magic was most of the time associated with Dark magic. The author of the book had hinted there was a possible relationship between the two but had had to stop his research on the subject without any further explanation. So the rest of the chapter reflected only his speculations.

_That could be an interesting field of research_, she thought. She wondered if she could conduct such a research as a bonus point project for her NEWTs next year. _Next year ? While I'm not even supposed to live beyond next Summer ?_ She still lived on hope after all…

She knew she would have to be careful too – Voldemort would be surely interested in her research outcome, should he learned about it. It would have to be secret. Yet, the matter looked appealing. _Maybe the Headmaster would not agree that such a topic, on the verge of Dark magic, be addressed..._

"The author doesn't say a lot about the relationship between Love-Snakes and Dark magic but he thinks there's a link with _blood_ magic. He merely speculates without telling more," she explained to Severus.

"Love-Snakes are rare and many wizards do not wish to conduct research in a field associated with Dark magic. Two reasons : first, they fear for their careers and do not wish to be labeled as Dark wizards ; second, they do not want to be the target of Dark wizards interested in their works and thus in their persons."

"You could do it yourself. After all, you already qualify for both, I mean, you're already a Dark wizard of some sorts and you're associated with the Dark Lord."

Severus shot her a glare – totally lost on her. "So I'll add a third reason : I don't want to give the Dark Lord another weapon to get more powerful." _And gain even more purchase over me._ "As you said, Love-Snakes are almost sentient creatures. The Dark Lord is already a threat to most sentient creatures around us, be they magical or Muggle. No need to add more."

Lorena felt he had been crossed. "I'm sorry, Severus. I didn't want to offend you."

He sighed. The young woman was right anyway. "No offense taken. Yet, you are not entirely wrong. The Dark Lord would be interested in them should he know Love-Snakes could bring him more power. He already has his snake Nagini, no need to add more snakes around him, even nice, tiny creatures such as Love-Snakes."

Lorena took a deep breath. "Does that mean you would not sanction any research on this subject ?"

The Potions Master was surprised by her question. He did not expect it. "Research ? What do you mean ?"

"The author only speculates about the relationship between Love-Snakes and Dark magic. However, he provides interesting tracks to explore, such as the issue of blood magic." A pause. "I know NEWT level students can get extra points with a research project."

"I see." He remained silent for long seconds. "True that NEWT students can gain extra points with research projects. You could do this next year, provided you manage to fit it in your timetable. However…" _How can she plan something like that while she's not even supposed to live beyond Beltaine and tell the tale ? _He had to admit that she had the force of character to see further than the dreaded deadline that could mean her death. She was strong in a sense. He felt he had not the right to dismiss her hopes by reminding her that. Maybe that sense of perspective and future was what held her together. Maybe it had something to do with becoming a mother.

Severus took a deep breath. "However, I strongly recommend that you do not talk about this subject to anybody. When I say 'anybody', it means that you have to Occlude your mind on this subject. We do not know when the Dark Lord will be brought down."

"Does that mean you would agree to such an idea ?"

"In principle, why not. I just recommend caution and secrecy in the present circumstances." Actually, that may help him in his own research about the Elixir. He looked at her carefully. "Lorena, you're a brilliant witch. I have no doubts you will achieve results in whatever you endeavor. But you have to know that you enter a field that many consider as… dangerous. A field that many consider as not to be taught or investigated in Hogwarts."

"The Dark Arts ?"

"Yes."

"Then, that's an extra reason to remain silent about it. I'm sorry, Severus, but I find this topic most appealing. Your book has… triggered off an interest. I'd like to work on it more."

"Does that mean you'll do it ?"

"I think I will indeed. I need to give more thought about it but it's indeed very interesting. You see… I'm surprised that creatures as innocuous as Love-Snakes can have somewhat similar reactions in certain circumstances as…" She hesitated a second or two. "… as the Dark Mark, for example."

She could not see Severus but she could have sworn he had stiffened in his armchair. His cold tone confirmed this. "What do you mean ?"

Unfazed by his cold voice, she went on : "You see, from what I read, from what I have experienced with our Love-Snakes, from what you told me about the Dark Mark, they seem to react to external stimuli. When the Dark Lord summons you, it's because he has touched the Dark Mark. At the other end, you Death-Eaters feel your arms burning. The reverse is true : when a Death-Eater touches his or her Mark, it sends a message to the Dark Lord…"

Severus jumped from his chair. "How do you know that ?" His tone was clearly angry. Angry and anxious.

Lorena remained calm. "I picked it up from your mind, in the cave when I had touched your Dark Mark. Remember ? When I told you that you had been branded like a slave… _His_ slave." There was a hint of compassion in her voice. "Besides, some of your books here have provided interesting explanations in this regard."

Severus started pacing in the room. "You should not know this kind of things, Lorena. This knowledge is… forbidden !" _And dangerous for those who are not Death-Eaters !_

"Why ? Why should it be forbidden ? Because of the fear it trails behind ? It's like when we have to call him 'You-Know-Who' for example, instead of his name ? Why couldn't we call him 'Lord Voldemort'…"

"Do not say the Dark Lord's name !" he roared angrily.

Lorena sighed. There was no way to have a decent conversation with him. It always ended in a heated manner. Yet, she detected an unusual amount of fear behind his yells. She sighed.

"Why are you afraid, Severus ?"

He turned towards her, his dark eyes glittering with anger. "I thought you had already had a taste of him. Do you want to know why ? Alright. I'm afraid of the Dark Lord. Like all of us Death-Eaters are. The Dark Lord makes us obey him out of fear, not loyalty, unlike Dumbledore. But my fear is nothing in comparison with what he could do to everybody if he gains total power over the wizarding community ! Do you understand that ?" _With what he could do to you, what he already did to you. I don't want to lose you to the Dark Lord like I already lost Lily !_

Her empty pale gray eyes were trained on him. "Oh, yes, I do. I was afraid too when he… when I was given to him. Yet… fear does not prevent danger. While knowledge does."

"No, it doesn't ! I'm a Dark Arts expert. Despite my knowledge, I was lured into following the Dark Lord. Knowledge didn't prevent me from getting into trouble with him. I have enough scars to testify to that !"

She remembered the numerous scars on his body, scars she had caressed lovingly when they had made love in the cave. A happy time then. Lorena remembered the moment with tenderness and sorrow. That time seemed so far away now…

"Well, back to the Love-Snakes," she said decidedly to simmer down the argument. "They seem to work the same way. You've told me that they go by pair when used as wedding rings. Apparently, when one spouse feels something, the feeling is conveyed to the other spouse through the rings."

"Are you sure ?" Severus asked with an obvious irony in his voice.

Lorena smiled. "I'm not sure as we never discussed this together, you and me. However, I've managed to send feelings through my ring. And it happened that I may have received something from yours too. The physical manifestation thereof is a tickling sensation on the ring finger. Have you ever felt the same ? Tell me, honestly."

Severus knew she could not see him. Good for him as his expression showed clear amazement. He did not wish to reply her question. _Right on. Damn._ "That's why you were searching information in the Restricted Section of the library," he commented dryly. "The night when I…" He stopped. The memory sprang to his mind. _The night when I had kissed you like mad. The night I wanted to make you mine again._ The only sensation now creeping in his mind, was the kiss he had given her there, a kiss they had both shared together, a kiss they had both enjoyed immensely.

Magic must have flown from him unbeknownst to him as Lorena touched her own ring finger. The tickling sensation had reached her.

"You just did it !" she exclaimed while stroking her ring finger.

"What ?" He was clearly puzzled.

"I can feel it, the tickling sensation ! You sent me something, Severus !"

He realized the memory of the kiss must have been real strong as it has communicated to her instantly.

"What did you send me ?" she asked.

"Nothing… I…" _Oh Merlin._ He sighed. _Better tell her the truth._ "Desire. I sent you… desire. Lust." Severus went to sit besides her on the sofa. "I didn't do it on purpose. I just… remembered what had happened in the library then." His voice was soft yet pressing with desire growing in him. "You remember, I suppose ?"

If she remembered ? Oh, yes, she did, with an acute precision. She felt his presence very close to her. She startled when he caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers. She even closed her eyes in appreciation. His fingers went further down on her neck where he removed a lock of hair. In the place left vacant, he put a light kiss. Then his mouth went closer to her ear. "I remember everything and you do too, don't you ?" he said in a sensual whisper.

Oh, that voice of his… dripping into her ears like honey… Lorena felt she was melting down to a puddle. She turned her face to him. At the same time, he traced her jawline with his mouth. Their lips met then, first in a sweet kiss, then in a deeper exchange. She let him access her mouth, his tongue met hers in an amorous play.

After long minutes of kissing each other, they found in each other's arms, closely embraced, one arm around her waist, his other hand lost in her black curly mane, behind her neck. Her hands were gripping his back in a desperate hug. Yes, she remembered everything. It had been the same kind of kiss, full of want and passion.

They broke the kiss together and remained in each other's arms. "You're right, Lorena. I can feel the tickling sensation in my own ring too, under my garments."

"I just hope it's far more enjoyable than the Dark Mark," she whispered.

"Not enjoyable… Infinitely exquisite, Lorena," he whispered back, before kissing her again with a delightful sensuality.

They parted again. Severus noticed he had his hand under her dress, on her thigh. Desire took over him. He wanted her but she may not want him. Well, after the kiss they had just exchanged, he was not so sure. Yet, he did not wish to be denied again. The small vial was in his pocket.

"I'm thirsty, Lorena. I go and have a glass of water. Do you fancy one ?" he asked softly.

"Yes, why not. A glass of water would be welcome indeed."

Severus smiled. She had not even asked the reason behind his question. He had Occluded his mind tightly, of course. He went to the kitchen, filled a glass of water. This was the time or never. He slipped five drops of the Elixir into the water. She could not see the color, the potion was tasteless and odorless – except when added blood.

He came back with the glass and gave it to her. She took the glass and drank it all – to the Potions Master's satisfaction. In a few minutes, she should be in the pangs of lust. He sat down on the sofa beside her, taking her in his arms. They resumed their kissing.

After a few minutes, their snogging had become more intense. Now Severus had his hand between her thighs and he could feel she gladly let him caress her there. She had also begun to unbutton his frock coat, as if taken in a sexual frenzy. He could feel she was hungry for him or at least for sex.

Her hand went down from his lowest frock coat button to his trouser belt. At this point, Severus felt she was all the more willing to go all the way. He tried his luck. His hand between her thighs went higher and found her womanhood under her knickers.

Lorena moaned under the caress but continued to kiss him greedily. Her hand was now unbuttoning his waist coat then his white shirt. Her hand on his skin was enthralling. Severus deemed he could go further. With a swift movement of his wand, he kindled the fire so that the temperature in the sitting-room could be more suitable for naked bodies. Another flick and he conjured up a thick blanket that spread itself on the hearthrug.

He broke the kiss, stood up to his feet, helping her to do so. With a non-verbal '_Disvesto_', he got rid of her garments, then of his own. They were now naked, still kissing passionately. He led her nearby the fire. A last non-verbal incantation and the lights in the sitting-room went out, the curtains were drawn. They were lit by the fire in the hearth only.

"I want to make love with you, Lorena… Be mine…" he whispered between two kisses. "Are you afraid of me now ?"

"No… I'm not…" She moaned in the kisses. "Severus… Take me… please… I need it…" Severus knew then that the Elixir was in her system, in full swing. She sounded like a whole another person. Only her desire, her want, her lust, her passion, drove her now. There was nothing else anymore. "Severus… I want you…"

He dragged her down to the hearthrug, they fell on their knees. He laid her there. "We're going to make love nearby the fire, Lorena."

"Oh, Severus… that's romantic… even if I can't see it…" she said with a smile he could see on her lips before kissing her. He laid his 6'1" frame on her body, covering her with his warmth. His lips left hers to go further down towards her breasts, her nipples, her protruding navel, to finish on her womanhood. He remembered Poppy's advice about gentle lovemaking and hoped he could comply. He had wanted her too much for so long, he had been denied so much for too long, that he was not sure whether he could make love to Lorena gently. Her belly under him reminded him she was pregnant and he had to be careful anyway. Curiously, she had not mentioned any precautions about her pregnancy. She just wanted him. "Severus… I want you inside of me… please… I need you inside of me…"

He made her come with his tongue on her womanhood first. Soon after, he entered her, with a deep grunt that made a chorus with her own groans and moans of pleasure. He had not absorbed anything of the Elixir and yet, his pleasure was even far greater than what he had got in the cave. "Let me possess you… body and soul… _Legilimens_…" He entered her mind very gently before his tongue entered her mouth. She groaned louder. He felt her entering his mind in return, when she put her hands on his temples. He let her possess him body and soul too.

A few minutes later, they came together in the same scream of ecstasy. Lorena clang to him while shouting his given name, before he made her quiet with a deep kiss, at the same time he had spilled his seed in her in hot spurts – in a long cry of pleasure that said her given name.

They rested like this for a long moment, kissing each other sweetly. "We should not stay here," Severus said. "We cannot fall asleep here as we may catch a cold and Ziggy will surely find us here tomorrow morning. Let's go upstairs."

"Your bedroom or mine ?"

"Mine." Severus wanted to possess her in his bed. He got to his feet, gathered their garments and took her in his arms in a gentle cradle carry. Once in his room, he laid her in his bed. "Let me fetch you another glass of water, Lorena." She said nothing and just coiled herself under the covers.

Severus came back with another glass of water into which he had slipped five other drops of the Elixir. Before that, he had drunk a glass of water spiked with five drops of the Elixir too. When he arrived in the room, he was already rock-hard, ready to satisfy her, eager to get satisfied by her.

They made love two other times before falling asleep in each other's arms, after a deeply satisfying lovemaking. Severus thought the young woman may wake up on the day after with a strange feeling about what had happened to her but he hoped that after a night of intense and pleasurable lovemaking, she would not make a fuss. He could not afford her to discover he had tricked her into this.

* * *

_**This is what I call a **__**perfect scheme put into practice – so Slytherin. So Severus. How do you think all this is going to evolve, dear readers ? **_

_**For all those out of there who are geniuses and wizards with drawing and photo-manip, please feel free to use my work to spur your imagination - just provide me with the link so that I can admire your work and leave a review for it.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	71. Elixir vs Truth

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**7****1 – Elixir vs. Truth**

On the day after, Lorena woke up coiled against a warm body. At first, she could not make heads or tails of the situation but after a few seconds, she remembered the evening before. She was in Severus' bed, with him. She had slept with him. She had…

_Oh Merlin ! I had sex__… made love with him…_ She felt she blushed and she smiled at the memory. It had been like in the cave. Hot, sweet, sensual, delicious, ecstatic… _Thinking of it, how come I wanted to make love with him while I'm afraid of him ? After all the rows we had together lately ?_ The memory of the love they had made in the cave played again in her mind. No, she had not been afraid of him then. She had been afraid of him from the day he had raped her on.

However, she had enjoyed what had happened the night before. Severus had behaved like the lover he had been in the cave. Passionate, tender, careful, sensual and gentle. He had made love to her first downstairs before the fireplace. Then in his bedroom, he had loved her twice again, taking her with caution as far as her pregnancy was concerned. He had followed Poppy's advice – no rough sex. He had taken her, with her on all fours, ramming in her from behind with all his length, yet gently. From what she had felt, he had enjoyed tender sex, which was a change from his usual sexual habits. They had finished, making love a third time, with Lorena on top of him, sliding herself up and down his shaft, her prominent belly and her full breasts he had been all too happy to caress. He had made her come when he had kissed her nipples. She had controlled the intercourse her way and to her rhythm and she had found it so good, so good…

Yes, it had been so good. She had loved making love with him like this. He was still asleep. She needed to go to the bathroom though. She grabbed the closest garment she could grab and put on – her long undershirt – and went there.

The enchanted mirror greeted her with a compliment. "You look ravishing, my dear !"

"You bet I am," she retorted with a smile, not that much convinced.

"That's true," replied the mirror. "Love suits you, beauty."

"Love ? What do you mean by… love ?"

"That's pretty obvious, isn't it ? You look like a witch who had spent a good night with a wonderful and loving wizard !"

Lorena did not know if she had to laugh or get angry at the mirror's insolence. Laughing may wake up Severus while getting angry may ruin her day. "Like you've seen that every day here !" she scorned. Yet, she had blushed deeply. Severus was a wonderful lover indeed – when he was not entangled in the pangs of violent sex.

"True that Professor Snape never brought a woman here before. You're the first one. But I wasn't always his property, you know. Before that, I was owned by a dashing young man that had many a conquest. And though Professor Snape silenced me, I still have my memory of things past intact. He gave me back my power to talk for you only – on condition I never talk to him."

Lorena was amused by the mirror's tale. "Go on, I'm curious." She could not hide a smile.

"Well, pardon me, but Professor Snape is not a very handsome man compared to my previous owner. So I don't mind having my tongue tied as I would but say ungracious words to him. I doubt he would appreciate starting his day like this."

"I highly doubt it either. But you should not think that about Professor Snape. He can be nice too. Let's just say it's hidden inside of him."

"I really wonder how such a lovely lady like you can be with a… err… a man like him."

"Just because being nice has nothing to do with being handsome. It's not just a matter of physical beauty, you know. I would also appreciate if you refrain from criticizing him too on this point. I'm blind, so I don't care how he does look like really. The inner eye can see beyond all that." She sighed – she smiled inside her at taking Severus' defense. "You owe me the fact you may talk again. Professor Snape thought it would help me to have a magical mirror, as I'm blind and can get ready without looking ridiculous once I'm out of the bathroom."

"Oh, I see." The mirror chuckled. "Well, that's my job, to see. More seriously, I thank you then. I owe you indeed. Then maybe you'd be interested in knowing a little fact I witnessed yesterday evening."

Lorena looked interested. "A little fact ? What do you mean ?"

"Professor Snape did not seem to be fine yesterday night, before going to bed. Unless it was you ? He had two glasses of water in which he put something in. Drops from a vial, which he let in the glasses."

Lorena frowned. "A vial ?"

"Yes, oh, it's still there, on your right, yes, nearby the tap, can you see it ? No, of course, if you're blind…"

Lorena moved her hand nearby the tap. "Yes, a little to your right, there, you have it !" the mirror exclaimed when her fingers touched something small and glassy. She seized it. It was a small vial indeed. "That's the vial from which Professor Snape let a few drops into two glasses yesterday night before going to bed."

Lorena opened the vial and carefully, brought it to her nose. There were still some of the substance inside. It smelled nothing. "Are you sure ?"

"Affirmative, my lady," the mirror said. "I'm enchanted to tell the truth and only the truth. Or I should shut up. If I say I saw Professor Snape dropping some of it in two glasses of water, then it's true !"

"It's fine, I believe you !" Lorena retorted quickly before the mirror became too much upset. She began to think fast. The love, the sex, it had been like in the cave… a substance she had drunk then, along with him… Her lips parted. _The Elixir ! He spiked my glass of water with the Elixir ! I can't believe it ! No wonder I was so… receptive to him yesterday evening… so wanton for him…_

"Are you alright, dear lady ?" the mirror asked, concerned. "You look very pale now, while you blushed a few minutes ago."

"Yes… yes… I'm fine… thanks for the information." It was all Lorena could utter before she went out of the bathroom, the vial now safe in her hand.

She wanted to come back to his bedroom and hex him. She thought better – she was no match against him. She was angry. She felt cheated and abused. She went to her bedroom instead and fell on her bed, crying silently. She would try her contact telepathy to make sure the mirror had told the truth. She did not wish to condemn a man on account of a magical implement only – a man that had given her pleasure the night before. She had the means to do it. She knew her telepathy could be stronger than his Occlumency – she would not hesitate a single second to use it to its maximum, even if this may hurt him beyond measure. He had made her suffer too much.

_Enough is enough._

She was angry after him but most of all, she felt betrayed. _He had drugged me so that he could have sex with me… How he could have done that to me ?_ She felt as bad as she had on the morning when he had raped her – except it had been more enjoyable than rape, she had to reckon. Yet, she felt _used_ for his own sexual purposes. _I'm no more than a sex slave to him, whom he can use to satisfy his want. Rape, then potion abuse._ He had been so tender, so sensual, she had felt so right between his arms during the night. She sobbed, stuffing her cries in her pillow. It had been all fake then. The lovemaking had no more meaning. _At least, when he had raped me, it had been the real deal. The real Severus Snape_, Lorena thought bitterly.

_I'm fed up being used by these men so that they can either get my powers, or assert their power over me, or just use__ me for their own purposes._ Voldemort, Severus, Dumbledore, they were all the same for her. She was just a pawn between their hands, a prize they exchanged between themselves. She had never trusted the Dark Lord, she had trusted Dumbledore but now it was over. As for Severus… he had been more "honest" when he had forced himself on her. But using a lust potion on her, that was more than she could endure from him. The little trust she may still have in him had just crumbled.

_I want to come back to Hogwarts. I'll ask Dumbledore to unbind me from the third part of the Unbreakable Vow. I can't marry Severus__ in these conditions. I just simply can't. Then I'll leave the castle and get lost for everyone. They all made me too much suffer._

She knew things would be difficult, alone with a child to come. Yet her decision was taken. Only the Devil would be able to make her change her mind back – and everybody knows there is nothing as such as the Devil in the wizarding world.

* * *

Lorena could not go back to sleep. She was too much angry against Severus. She had made up her mind, she would go back to Hogwarts today. Never to come back to Spinner's End. Never. Silently, she began to pack her trunk, full of a growing rage against the man she still loved.

_How can I still love him ?_ she wondered. _After every thing he's done to me ? How can I ?_ She was a bit angry after herself too. Once she was ready, she wanted to go back to the bathroom but it was occupied. She took the opportunity to go back to his bedroom and get back her garments that were still there, scattered on the floor with an _Accio_ spell.

_Yet, I still love him._

She came back to her room quickly and finished packing up. She just got her new garments for the day out. She would go to the bathroom once he was downstairs.

On his side, Severus had waken up in an empty bed. He was alone. He was not worried, maybe she was just in the bathroom. He laid down and thought about the night before. He felt relieved, deeply satisfied after the love they had made. _Oh, how possession is sweet indeed_, he thought. It had felt like in the cave. She had given herself to him, the three times he had possessed her, unconditionally, without any restriction. How he had loved it when she had screamed his given name upon reaching ecstasy… His own climax had followed quickly.

Severus had loved possessing her body and soul, his mind in hers, his tongue in her mouth, his cock inside her, taking her gently yet fully. No other woman had made such an impression on him – and he had had quite a few before, even if Lorena had been the first in years for him. She had been his after his being denied by her during the last months. He smiled at the idea that the Elixir had been a great help to convince her that she should let it go and give herself to him. Surely she just needed that – a little boost in her trust in him, to convince her that he was not the monster she thought he was, that she could trust him, she could surrender to him fully, that he could please her, satisfy her. Love her.

Severus got up and went to the bathroom. She was not there. He thought she was probably downstairs already. He got ready. The mirror remained silent – Severus had enchanted it only for Lorena, he did not need unpleasant remarks from it. So the mirror said nothing.

The Potions Master's mind wondered about the previous night, the lovemaking, the Elixir. Suddenly, he realized that he had let the small vial nearby the tap. His dark gaze scanned the area. It was nowhere to be seen. He tried to remember where he could have put it. Not his usual self to forget this kind of stuff. Well, he had been in such a hurry to go back to his room to possess her again… _Understandable_. He hoped that Lorena had not found it. Well, not likely as she was blind and had no other means to know he had used the Elixir on her. She was clever, perceptive, but all the same.

He got ready and checked his frock coat pockets. Nothing. Well, it did not make any sense as he remembered perfectly to have let a few drops into her glass of water, as well as in his own. He got worried when he could not find the small vial in his room or downstairs. That left him with only one possibility. _She may have found it._

Calmly, Severus went down to the kitchen. Ziggy was there, preparing the breakfast. He asked where Lorena was. The house elf confirmed him he had not seen the Mistress. That left Severus with only one place to search for her, where he had not been yet. Her bedroom.

He went there. He was right, she was in her bedroom indeed. He opened the door she had not even warded. He stepped in, making her know he was there. He realized it would sound strange to ask her if she had found a small vial of a substance he did not wish her to know he had used on her the night before.

Lorena spared him that effort. "Recognize this ?" she asked adamantly, showing him the vial, a crossed yet hurt look on her face. Severus knew she had not picked up the idea from his mind. She wanted to have some explanations about it.

He said nothing. "That small vial contained something with which you spiked my water last night," she went on coldly. "Severus, you drugged me, so that I would give in to you then." She sighed. "I dare hope you thought I'm pregnant and therefore should not be given anything weird or dangerous." Her tone was scornful yet cold.

Severus knew she had cornered him somehow. Either he just remained silent but there was the matter of her pregnancy, either he reassured her and thus recognized what he had done. For once in his life, he chose to be sincere in his explanations to her.

"You don't have to fear for our child. I checked that what I gave you is totally harmless for our baby."

"So you admit you drugged me then ? With what ?"

"I do indeed." He paused. "The Elixir. The very same substance we used for our first time in the cave. Remember ?"

Of course she did. "Why, Severus, why ? Why did you do such a thing ? To me ?" She was angry but there was also something painful in her plea.

"Is that so difficult to understand, Lorena ? I want you, you deny me."

"I thought you'd understand why I don't want to have sex with you. I can see that you still don't care, as long as you get what you want from me." There was a hint of sadness now in her voice.

"I do care !" He came closer to her. She must have felt it as she stepped back, her legs touching the bed.

"No, you don't, Severus. Now, if you really care, I'll give you the opportunity to prove it."

"Try me."

"You shall bring me back to Hogwarts _now_. I don't want to stay here one single minute more. Once there, we shall go and see the Headmaster. I want him to free us from the last part of the Unbreakable Vow we took together, the part that compels you to marry me."

"You don't want to marry me eventually ?"

"Is that a proposal ? Then, no, thank you. I don't wish to spend the rest of my life with a husband that will either drug me to get what he wants, or threaten me, be violent with me, even rape me, whenever and wherever he wants to."

Severus' dark gaze bored into hers. He did not need to resort to Legilimency to know she meant it. "And if I refuse ?"

"I don't think you should wish to know what I have in stock for you, _Professor_. But it does include some action on the part of the Headmaster and maybe, the Board of the School."

He snorted. "Do as you wish with Dumbledore. As for the Board, to hell with it ! I've already explained to you about the Vow. Your attempt is doomed to fail anyway. It's not called an 'Unbreakable' for nothing, you know. I thought that a brilliant witch such as yourself, would have been able to figure that out."

"You say that. Now spare me your ungracious comments. Allow me, Professor, to have another opinion. Now, I'm going to get ready for Apparition in fifteen minutes. Be ready to bring me back to Hogwarts."

"Still, if I refuse to bring you back there before the scheduled date ?"

She smirked. "So be it. I'm sure then that the Aurors at the Ministry of Magic may be interested in you and your somewhat dubious interaction with that amicable brotherhood called… the Death-Eaters. After all, keeping me here against my will, to be used by you for… dirty purposes, that is in complete accordance with what to expect from a Death-Eater, don't you think ?" Her tone was icy now, yet sensually, dangerously purring.

The very last individuals Severus – and Dumbledore – did not wish to see in his private business – and the Order's business – were the Aurors indeed, as well as people from the Ministry. "You know nobody at the Ministry, and even less at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. You're just a…" He stopped.

"Say it, Professor ! Say it ! Just say it ! A blind, filthy Mudblood ? No problem." She paused. "Actually, I do know one Auror. And a powerful one at that."

"Alastor Moody ?"

"Yes."

"You would use his… whatever he feels for you to that purpose."

"The Sorting Hat did not place me in Slytherin by chance," she concluded coldly, on her way to leave the room.

Severus seized her arm and pressed her against him. "You're just a slut if you use the fact you had sex with him, to convince him to help you," he said softly yet coldly. His anger was real now. She had cornered him, manipulated him, compelled him to do her bidding. "You can't leave me ! I'm here to protect you, Lorena. Have you forgotten you have the Dark Lord on your trail ?"

"No, I haven't. But I deem the Dark Lord to be enough a threat, without adding an extra one with you. You're a dangerous man, Professor. It happens I do not wish to marry a dangerous man."

"So you prefer to flee," he said with irony. "Who's going to protect you then ? Because you'll need protection, won't you ?"

She sighed. "Alastor Moody can protect me."

He cupped her face with his hands, to compel her eyes to meet his. "I'll let nobody else protect you. That's MY job ! Given by the Dark Lord himself ! And Dumbledore ! Besides, I'll let nobody take MY place between your legs either !"

Lorena Occluded her mind at once. "Don't try your Legilimency on me, Professor."

"I preferred when you called me by my given name, Lorena. Like last night, when you screamed out your pleasure, the pleasure I gave you…" he whispered with a hoarse drawl that reflected the desire he felt for her again, more than ever. He took her words and threats very seriously.

Severus enjoyed the occasion to kiss her thoroughly. She resisted him but he was stronger. His lips opened hers brutally, his tongue found hers ruthlessly. Soon he plundered her mouth in a sensual kiss. His body ached for the possession of her again. His hands left her face, his arms rounded her body. They fell on the bed together. "I want you, Lorena… you're mine… I won't let nobody else have you… you're mine and mine only…" he said between kisses. "Let me take you… like last night… Lorena… Be mine… again…"

Lorena felt her resistance thinning under the repeated assault of his kisses. This man had the knack for reducing her to a puddle with his voice, his kisses, his warmth, his arms around her.

"Let me go, Professor…" she whispered.

"Oh, no, I want you, Lorena… Let me have you… again !" Severus went on. One of his hands had managed to grab the small vial she had been holding in her hand. He uncorked it. He broke the kiss, caressing her face gently with the back of his fingers. He let several drops fall onto his tongue before kissing Lorena deeply again, hoping she would have a taste of the substance again, from his tongue to hers.

The Elixir began to have an effect on Severus. After a few minutes, Lorena began to feel it too in her system. She had made her body more welcoming to the man laying on top of her, her legs wrapping around his hips. She had even knotted her arms around his neck, replying to his kisses beautifully.

Severus slid a hand under her long undershirt, under which she was naked. After a while, he took her, gently though, his tongue now tracing the outline of her lips in delight. Lorena caressed his raven hair, soft as silk, her tongue also tasting his lips while moans of pleasure escaped her mouth, coming from deep down her throat.

They ended up the sexual intercourse a few minutes later, with a shared shriek of pleasure. Severus was now kissing her on her neck, his tongue leaving a trail of warmth on her skin.

"Oh, Lorena… How much I love making love to you ! You're everything a man can desire in a woman !"

Lorena did not know what to say. When he was like that, he was a truly wonderful lover and she was the first to admit she loved making love with him too. She loved him. She was just sad about the means he used to get her. She had no idea of his feelings for her, save they were made up of lust and need, desire and want. He had never told her so much than 'I care for you'. Most of the women he had had in the past, had never been told that much. Not even Lily – and he had never had her.

An infinite sadness appeared on her features. "Professor, I have to get ready so that we may Apparate to Hogwarts. Please."

Severus said nothing. He had hoped that making love to her again would help change her mind about their relationship. Nothing had changed. She still clung to her decision. Without a word, he rose from her body, tidying himself up, still looking at her again hungrily. He was deeply satisfied by her but his hunger for her would always be there, never quenched.

"I'll be waiting for you downstairs. Be quick," he said coldly, disappointment clear in his voice. He would have loved to spend the whole day in bed with her, making love to her, possessing her body and soul like he had had the night before. He abandoned the small vial in her hand before leaving the room. "In case you change your mind and feel the need for a quick shag," he lashed out at her with a hurting sneer.

Lorena felt weird. She loved him. She loved the sex they had together but she needed to know for sure if her fate could be different, if she could still make any choice. She sighed and took her things to the bathroom. In a few minutes, she had taken a shower, dressed and put every thing she still had unpacked into her trunk. She also took the book about the Love-Snakes with her and put it with the rest of her belongings into the trunk. She would give it back to him once she was done with it. She reduced the trunk with a spell and put the trunk in her dress pocket. She secured her wand in her right sleeve.

Severus was waiting for her downstairs. Without a word, he put her cloak on her shoulders. He let her out and warded the house. They proceeded to the Apparition point in the dark dead end alley opposite the house, without a word. He secured her against him but just before Apparating, he kissed her again. Lorena felt his despair through their physical contact. A despair he had not even tried to conceal from her telepathy. Then they Disapparated.

* * *

**_Oh, Severus... what have you done _****_again this time ? And now, what are you going to do with Lorena ? _**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	72. Fear is the enemy of truth

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**7****2 – Fear is the enemy of truth**

They Apparated directly into his quarters. They got rid of their cloaks and went to the Headmaster's office. They were lucky, Dumbledore was there and could receive them. The old man was surprised to see them. His acute perception felt at once that something had gone wrong between the man and the woman now standing in front of him. They were no longer a couple.

"So, what does bring you back here ? Weren't you both supposed to come back just before next term begins ?" Dumbledore asked with a smile.

Severus knew that the Headmaster was no fool. The older wizard had perceived at once something was wrong. "Miss Nottingham here has something to ask you, Albus." Better be her to explain than him. It was her idea after all.

"Sit down, you two. I'm listening."

Lorena had perceived that the responsibility to explain everything rested on her. She took a deep breath. As she knew that Dumbledore would not be long before noticing there was something weird going on between her and Severus – maybe he had already had – she decided to go straight to the matter.

"Professor… It's regarding the Unbreakable Vow we took." She swallowed hard. "I wish one of the clauses to be canceled."

Dumbledore peered at her from above his half-moon glasses. His steely blue gaze had none of the twinkle it usually have. "What do you mean, Lorena ?"

"I wish to be freed from one of the conditions for which this Unbreakable Vow has been taken. I do not want to comply with it. Yet, I don't want Professor Snape here to die because of that. Please, Professor, release me from that part of the Vow !"

The plea in Lorena's voice could be clearly heard. Albus watched both the man and the woman sitting in front of him. His blue eyes rested on the Potions Master's dark gaze for a while. _What happened between them ?_ "What part is it ?"

Lorena had her empty pale gray gaze set on him. "The part that says that Professor Snape should marry me."

Albus glanced at Severus again, trying to understand. The younger wizard kept his gaze averted. "Why, Lorena ? Why is that ?"

"I don't wish to marry him." Her tone had something cold and final that hurt Severus and worried the Headmaster. The old man gathered that she would say nothing more on the topic.

"Do you understand that this clause was included in the Unbreakable Vow so that you do not end up in destitution and contempt in our society ? It's a protective measure for you and your child."

"I do not wish to have this kind of protection, sir. I realize that but I…" She swallowed again. "I prefer to be alone with my baby than… married to him," she ended in a whisper.

Albus Dumbledore watched her carefully. She had Occluded her mind. She would choose the time and what to disclose to him – if needed.

"Severus, you must have explained to her that an Unbreakable Vow cannot be broken."

"I did, Headmaster. But Miss Nottingham didn't believe me obviously." Irony could be heard in his voice – along with an undeniable sadness.

"Professor, you were our Binder, what you did, you can undo it !" Lorena said with both anger and urgency in her voice, which informed Albus that something serious had indeed happened between the pair.

Albus' attention came back to her. He sighed imperceptibly. "Lorena… it doesn't work like that. Unbreakable Vows cannot be broken."

"You're one of the greatest and most powerful wizards of our time, Professor ! You can do something, you have to !" This time, the plea in her voice was obvious.

Albus went to her and put a light hand on her shoulder. "Come with me, Lorena. I think we need a little conversation together. Severus, stay here, my boy."

Lorena let him guide her to another room. The door closed and the Headmaster sealed the room with a silencing spell, so that nobody could overhear. "Sit down here," he said while leading her to a chair. He sat opposite to her, close enough to hold her hand if needed. "Now, what's going on with Severus, that you have such a request ?"

Lorena remained silent. Yet, Albus could see she was fighting tears back.

"Lorena, let me rephrase it. How come you do not wish to marry Severus any more ? I thought you harbored feelings for him."

He felt her resolve flinching. She would talk soon. "Lorena, everything you may say here, shall stay here, between you and me. I won't tell anything to Severus. That's why I brought you here, so that you may speak freely. I'm under the impression that you could not and would not do so in his presence. Am I right ?"

She turned her head towards him. She swallowed hard. "He… he's not in love with me. He doesn't love me. He just said that… that he cared…"

"Care is as important as love in a couple, Lorena, if not more. To love is not sufficient."

"Especially when unrequited," she completed dryly.

"I can feel there's something else. Wish to tell me more ?" She remained silent. "Lorena, I won't add insult to your disarray by using Legilimency on you. But I think you should open your heart to me, otherwise I cannot help you."

She closed her eyes and tears fell from them. "I don't think Sev… Professor Snape is the right husband for me, Professor. He's…" She paused, considering what she would say. "Please, Professor, could you promise me something ? That whatever I may say, it shall not be held against Professor Snape ?"

Albus wondered what Severus may have done to her. Yet he felt her love for the Potions Master. It was so obvious. "If this can help you talk, I promise then."

She took a deep breath. "Professor Snape just _desires_ me. He feels for me nothing more than desire, want, need, lust. I'm just… an object for him to be used as his…" She sobbed quietly. "Last night, he drugged me so that he could have sex with me."

"He did ?"

She nodded. "He said that… that he wanted me so much and he could not stand it any longer… that I refused myself to him… That I'm his… I belong to him !"

"Did he rape you ?" Albus asked after a while.

Hearing this, Lorena raised her head suddenly. Pain could be read on her face. Albus gathered he had hit home. "He did, didn't he ?"

"You promise me that you won't do anything against him, Professor ?"

He lowered his eyes. "I've got but one word, Lorena." He paused. "He did rape you, didn't he ? You may just nod."

She did not move. "I don't know… I have loved him in the cave. He had been wonderful with me then. Yet, he had told me that he didn't wish our affair to continue. He had said that a student/professor relationship would be impossible to manage. But on the first day of term, in the morning, he… had wanted me and I… Nonetheless, he took me. He tried two other times. Once in the library…" Her voice had lowered to a barely audible whisper.

"… and the other time, when that branch fell from the tree, in the forest. It was a tale, wasn't it ?"

She nodded. "I lied then because I didn't want him to get into trouble – and I still don't want. I love him, no matter what he could have done in the past or is doing now or will do in the future. I love him. But… but he's just lusting for me ! I want him too. My love for him will just kill me, it's too strong for me to handle. That's why I prefer to be alone than to marry him. Do you understand, Professor, that too much love will kill me ? I love him but please ! Free me from him ! Free me from the Unbreakable Vow !" She had said these last two words in a breath.

Albus watched her with compassion. He could read on her face that she was utterly distressed. Yet, he could not lie to her. "I'm sorry, Lorena. There's nothing that can be changed. The magic operating an Unbreakable Vow doesn't depend on the Binder nor on the parties, no matter how powerful they all are. It is still mysterious in some aspects. Severus must have told you, I guess ?"

"Yes, he did. It's just that… I wanted to have another opinion. I was afraid that he could have lied to me."

"No, Lorena. I can confirm you Severus did not lie to you. He told you the truth."

"So that means that… that I will have to marry Professor Snape… eventually… if I don't want him to die ? " Her face reflected utter panic.

"Yes, Lorena." He paused, his steely blue eyes still on her. "I can't reverse the Unbreakable Vow's magic. However, it might be possible for me to help you."

"How ? Stuff happens when we are alone, me and him !"

"I can talk to Severus then. He will listen to me. You know, Lorena, I don't sanction what he may have done to you in any case. I don't know exactly what he has done to you, as you do not wish to tell me. I respect that, but I have my suspicions in this regard. I'm no fool. Severus could be my son or even my grandson. I tell you all this because I know him very well. He's been a very lonely man, most of his life. He's going to be married. He's going to be a father. I suspect he's trying to cope with that situation, which he doesn't handle very well, I must reckon. Besides, he's under tremendous stress now…"

"Because he's spying on the Dark Lord for you and the Order ?"

Albus was surprised but he hid it. "Yes. You're right. I don't approve what he may have done to you, I repeat, but I just want you to understand his situation. On my side, I'll explain to him that he should be more patient and more understanding with you too." He took her hand in his. "Lorena, you love him. I can see that he's very… protective of you. That means that he doesn't consider you like any woman he may have known before. You don't know him like I do, you do not know his story like I do, but I can tell you that he's far more concerned about you than you may imagine. He's got feelings for you."

"He told me he cared for me. Except that…" She stifled a sob. "… when he's alone with me… he's not very nice. He keeps telling me that he's not a nice man. He scares me sometimes !"

"Severus may have many defaults. He also has many qualities. Among them, courage and honesty. Not only he's a very courageous man but he's honest, first with himself. He's honest when he tells you he's not a nice man. He is not indeed. He's not the kind of man to express his feelings easily either."

"I've noticed that already. He's rather bad at that."

"Indeed. But he'll strive to show you he cares, in other ways. A last thing : he does what he says. He's got that Slytherin honor to the highest degree. He'll stick to his word. I'm going to use that quality of his to help you, Lorena, and to help him. To help you both."

They remained silent for long seconds. Then Albus got up. "Stay here, I'm going to talk to Severus now. Remember one thing : we enter times, hard times, during which he'll need all the protection possible in his task to spy on Lord Voldemort. We – I mean the Order – all do need your elemental magic, through your love for him. Severus more than any of us. Know that he's our key asset in the Order. You're a powerful witch, Lorena, do not forget your love is a powerful protection for Severus. He protects you but you protect him too, thanks to that love."

"Too much love will kill me, Professor," she let out sadly.

Albus pressed her shoulder gently, in a reassuring gesture. "No, it won't. On the contrary. Your love for Severus is the strongest force you have. Don't forget it. A last thing : note that freeing you from the Vow, if that had been possible, would not free you from your own feelings. Only you can free yourself from them. If this is what you really wish." He left her alone in the room, letting his last words sink in her. She felt the Headmaster was using her, once more, for his own purposes. Yet, it made sense. She had already protected Severus, with her love. She had even saved his life.

Severus was older than her – almost twice her age. He was far more experienced a wizard. He was a dangerous man, playing a dangerous game for the Order of the Phoenix, spending time in the dangerous company of Lord Voldemort – which she had had a taste too.

Yet, according to Dumbledore, she had been the only woman to have been able to impress him enough that he cared for her to the point of taking many personal risks for her to that length. _Does he love me ? Is 'care' another word for 'love' for him ?_

In the meantime, Albus had come back to his office, where Severus was still there, waiting for the Headmaster. The Potions Master was lost in deep thought. "Severus."

The younger wizard raised his dark eyes to the older man. "How is she, Albus ?"

"I explained to her the magic behind the Unbreakable Vow. I think she accepts the fact that she'll have to marry you eventually. She understands there's nothing else that can be done to change the Vow after it has been taken. However, I told her I could help her."

"How ?"

"By explaining to you that you have to be careful with her. That you have to take her feelings into account."

"What did she say about… us ?"

"She said nothing but just alluded that you had done things to her that had wounded her deeply. Is that true, Severus ? What did you do to her that she said things like that ?"

"Why did she say nothing then ?"

Albus sighed with patience. "She doesn't want you to get into trouble with either me or the Board. She's very protective of you, Severus." A pause. "She loves you."

The Potions Master lowered his gaze. "I know that already. But I had warned her that her love would be unrequited. That's all."

Albus sat behind his desk. "Severus. I know you're not the kind of man to express feelings that easy. I respect that. She's aware of that too. Besides, I explained to her that you undergo tremendous pressure in that war. That she has to be patient and understanding with you." Another pause. "However, I told her that I would help her."

"By playing the match-maker ?" the Potions Master scorned.

Albus darted him a cold gaze. "No. You're both adults. Yet, you haven't replied to my question, Severus. What did you do to her ?"

"If she did not wish to reply to you because she feared her answer would land me into trouble, then I don't see why I should do so."

Albus had to admit this was a very Slytherin reply. "Severus, my boy, we both know that what is said here, between you and me, shall stay here." With a move of his hand, he cast a silencing spell around them, so that the various portraits around them could not listen. Severus saw Phineas Nigellus Black scowling at the gesture in his portrait. "Is that a proof enough ?"

"You're still the Headmaster."

"I'm also your friend, Severus. And you know it."

That last statement clinched the argument once and for all. The younger wizard sighed. "I confess that I took her… against her will… at the beginning of term. I confess that I tried two other times, one evening in the Restricted Section of the library, another time nearby the Forest, at the end of term. She had followed the Malfoys to their manor and I had to fetch her up there. I was so angry after her then, she had been so imprudent, so silly in doing so !" Severus knew he tried to justify an act that nothing could justify. He was aware that he had not said every thing about his motives. He had occulted the story involving Alastor Moody.

"Hmmm. Anger and lust is a dangerous combination in a man, Severus. That's the episode of the broken branch that landed you in the Hospital Wing, I guess ?"

Severus nodded. "Your guess is right. She had an outburst of uncontrolled magic. She was… terrified. I frightened her." He averted his gaze.

Albus looked at him. "She drives you mad, doesn't she ?"

"Yes… I'm just a man after all ! I'm still young, with the needs and wants of a man of my age ! But I do care for her ! It's just… there are things I cannot control when I'm with her. I guess I've spent too much time as a Death-Eater."

"Which you do on my orders."

Severus smirked in confirmation. "Which I do on your orders."

"Right. I don't think your Death-Eater side is really responsible for your situation to you both. She harbors very strong feelings for you while you're not used to receive such feelings and even less to express them openly. You both have to learn to be patient with each other. There's nothing else I can do to help you."

"So what do you suggest that I should do now ?" Severus asked.

"Be patient. Be gentle with her. It'll do you good. Besides, I'm sure you can do it even if you spend your time claiming you're not a nice man, etc. Stop saying such things and start thinking the other way round. It'll be easier, you'll see."

Severus scowled at the Headmaster. "As if that were easy !" he scorned.

Albus did not reply and just smiled at the younger man. "Come with me now, Severus." Both men entered the other room, where Lorena was. She was still sitting on the same chair, her empty pale gray gaze lost in the void. She reacted hearing the two men. "Lorena ?" Albus took her hand and helped her get up. A few seconds later, she felt another hand in hers, a strong, warm hand, a hand she recognized at once. Severus' hand, that Albus had put in contact with hers.

"Now, the both of you, listen to me. Be patient with each other. Be gentle with each other. You know that you'll end up together eventually, so what about starting anew your relationship ? Do I need to remind you that the Vow magic will help you in this regard ? No ? Good, you know it now. I leave you alone, you must have things to say to each other. Remember that talking can help sorting out problems, while keeping silent just makes things more difficult." With these words, the Headmaster left the room and closed the door behind him, leaving Severus and Lorena alone together.

They remained silent for long seconds, time for silence to settle down between them. Neither of them felt the need to talk. So they let their hands do the talking. Severus began to caress her hand in his, his long fingers stroking her hand gently, then seizing her wrist. Aware he would have to make the first step, he dragged her gently to him. His other hand reached her cheek for a caress. His dark gaze was devouring her. Once she was closer to him, his hand left her wrist for her waist.

Lorena did not move. She was moved by him every time he behaved gently with her. Her hand reached his chest. She could feel his heart beating strongly under his garments. She felt better and a love wave escaped her. Severus felt a tinge on his Love-Snakes ring. It encouraged him to go further. His hand on her waist dragged her closer to him. He lowered his face to hers and very slowly, very sweetly, he put a kiss on her temple.

They remained in each others' arms for long minutes. Lorena knew nothing would happen to her, not in the Headmaster's quarters. Severus seemed to be gentle and she wanted to enjoy the moment. She loved him and really appreciated his tenderness – when he was able to show some to her.

After a few minutes, Severus broke the silence. "Are you ready to come back to Spinner's End with me, Lorena ?" he asked in a whisper, caressing her cheek gently.

"There's something else I need to tell Professor Dumbledore first."

Severus was surprised. What else did she have in mind ? Lorena must have felt his question. "No, don't worry, Severus. I have information that may interest the Headmaster about… my kin." She had reverted to his given name – which he took as a good omen.

"Your kin ?"

"Remember when there was that incident with that big nasty ant ? About me being a Parselmouth ?"

"Yes, I do. We had wondered who had taught you."

"My grandmother. I have some information about her. Let's go and see the Headmaster."

She moved away from him but he took her elbow to guide her outside. They entered the Headmaster's office. Albus Dumbledore was happy to see them together, apparently peaceful with each other. Maybe his talents as a match-maker were not so that much wasted after all.

"Headmaster, there's something Miss Nottingham wishes to tell you before we leave."

Albus looked at the young woman. "Well, Lorena, sit down then. What is it you have to tell me ?"

"It's regarding my grandmother, sir." She took a seat, Severus remaining up behind her, a possessive and protective hand on her shoulder.

Albus' eyes gleamed with interest. "Go on, Lorena. I remember what I wanted to know about your grandmother. You managed to get the information we may need, I guess ?"

She nodded. "I visited my father a few days ago, at his jail. Professor Snape was kind enough to bring me there. I talked with my father and asked him what his mother's maiden name was."

"And ?"

"Gaunt. She was called Gaunt. My father told me that he had got the information one day he had found his parents' marriage certificate on the kitchen table at home. He had a look at it then and he remembered this detail, as well as her date of birth, in 1920. He's less sure about her place of birth. He told me about a place called Hangleton or Ingleton, with something like Little before, or Lower or Upper, he was not sure. But he's sure about her maiden name."

Albus relaxed in his chair. He exchanged a long glance with Severus.

"There's also something else you need to know, Professor Dumbledore," Lorena went on. "My father… was surprised that I asked him such a question. He… forbade me to search after my grandmother's relatives. He will write you a letter about this, I suppose to warn you to keep an eye on me in this regard."

"Why is that ?" the older wizard asked.

"I don't know. But I can tell you, he was scared."

"How do you know that ?" This time, Severus had asked the question.

"I know it, that's all."

"You just… know it ?" He sounded doubtful. "You were not in physical contact with him and you cannot perform Legilimency."

"There are things that do not fool me. His voice… I know my father. He was scared. He told me that if my grandmother had escaped her own relatives, there must have been a real good reason."

"And you deem the reason sufficient ?" Severus went on.

"I could hear it in his voice ! He was scared !" Lorena protested angrily. "I know my father. He's a courageous man, the kind of courage Gryffindors have sometimes, you know. Not one to be frightened off easily. But his voice… I can still hear it in his voice. He was scared !"

"Why do you think your father may be so scared, Lorena ?" Albus asked.

"No idea, Headmaster. I don't know. But I agree with my father. There must be a good reason behind it."

"Are you interested in knowing that reason ?" Severus asked.

Lorena remained thoughtful. "Are you… suggesting me that I should disobey my father, Professor ?"

"Up to you, Lorena," Albus said. "Fear is the enemy of truth. Sometimes you have to confront your fears to go to the bottom of things. Aren't you curious about your past ? About your family ?"

She got up suddenly. "I need to think about it first." She had to admit she felt intrigued, if not tempted.

"On my side, I can try to have some information with what you just told me, Lorena. But I must concur with Severus. We may need to know more. Until then, don't go any further," Albus said gently. "I suggest that you both stay here until I have my information. I can have them today. In the meantime, it's lunch time. Will you join us ?"

"No, we won't, Albus. Miss Nottingham's supposed to have left the castle," Severus said firmly. "We'll have our lunch in my quarters. Come with me," he said softly to the young woman, his hand on her arm. Lorena followed without a word.

They went out of the office. Albus was thoughtful. He knew where he would start his search. He hoped the couple that had just left his office would not kill each other. _No, they won't. She loves him and my Potions Master is too much in his Death-Eater mode to see that he loves her too._ He sighed.

Albus Dumbledore left his office and entered a room beside. It was the size of an office, with rows of books on the walls. There was a table with a roll of parchment and a quill. The quill was scribbling something now. Albus went closer and smiled. The name of a girl had just appeared, along with her blood status. _Another witch. A Muggle-born. Good._ He smiled fondly thinking of the kids that would come to Hogwarts in about eleven years or so.

The quill was magical, enchanted to detect magical births and their blood status. As the year went by, the roll bearing the names got longer. At the cut off date of August 31st, the roll was cut off too, with the list of the children to be invited to Hogwarts. Years after years, the rolls were kept and archived as books stored on the shelves in the room, once they were no longer needed for the letters of invitation.

Only two people could access the magical quill room and archives. The Headmaster/Headmistress and his/her Deputy. Now, only Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall could enter the room.

Albus began to look for the birth registrars. The year 1920 was archived in a book on top of a shelf and he Summoned the said book into his hands. He searched the various years to arrive to '1920' births. The parchment was stored carefully along the other years, cut in several pieces to be stored neatly in the book.

Albus took a seat and began to search the names. Lorena had not been specific about the date. The magical quill registered the births as they happened, chronologically. Therefore the kids were not listed by alphabetical order. Minerva was in charge of writing to the families to invite their children. Once she had received confirmation, she set up an alphabetical list on another parchment she used for the Sorting ceremony, a list she had enchanted to record the Houses the children were sorted in eventually. Then, she came back to the birth registrar and wrote the House besides each name, following the example set by the headmasters and headmistresses before her.

Thanks to that system, Albus Dumbledore would not only be able to tell whether Lorena's grandmother was a witch or not, but also her blood status, if she had attended Hogwarts indeed and in which House.

After long minutes, the Headmaster found a Gaunt. A certain Cassiope Gaunt, born May 1st, 1920. _Beltaine_._ A magical date. How interesting._ The girl was born in a pure-blood family. He checked the rest of the year just to make sure there was not another Gaunt girl involved that year. She was the only one. Moreover, Cassiope Gaunt had been sorted into… Slytherin.

_Good. So our Slytherin Muggle-born is not so Muggle-born__. Her grandmother was indeed a witch. A pure-blood witch, that explains certain things. Sorted into Slytherin._ Albus exited the room and closed it with the specific wards only he and Minerva could disable to enter it. He went back to his office and sat to his desk, in deep meditation.

The name 'Gaunt' rang a bell into his memory. He was sure Cassiope Gaunt was not the only Gaunt to have attended Hogwarts in the first half of the 20th century. But he wanted to make really sure, as the implications were too much serious, if they were true. Minerva was too young to remember, being herself born in 1925. _Well, that would make her a contemporary of Cassiope Gaunt, at least for two years of schooling. Maybe she remembers something anyway. _Albus decided a little talk to his Deputy Headmistress after lunch would be instructive.

* * *

**_Where we began to learn more about Lorena's ancestry... which may explain certain things about her. Gaunt ? I'm sure that does ring a bell to you, dear readers, doesn't it ?_**

**_Severus possessive, Lorena protective, Albus manipulative. I hope they are all still in character - especially Severus and Albus._**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	73. A little ride into the past

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**7****3 – A little ride into the past**

Albus and Minerva decided to meet in his office. He had decided he would tell everything to his Deputy Headmistress about Lorena's grandmother. The old witch remembered the story about the young woman being a Parselmouth.

"Gaunt ? You said _Gaunt_ ?"

"Yes. I just want to know if that does ring a bell to you."

"Well, that Cassiope Gaunt… I don't know, Albus. From what you said, she was in Slytherin. I was in Gryffindor then and you know what the relationships between the two houses were."

"Yes, they haven't changed that much since then, I dare say."

"That's an understatement. Since Lord Voldemort's rise, it's even worse."

"Voldemort…" Dumbledore sighed. "Yes, things have not improved, to say the least."

"Does the girl know about all this ?"

"Not yet. She just gave me the information that allowed me to track her grandmother in our registrars only this morning."

"So she's here ? Where ?"

"With Severus." He sighed. "He doesn't know either."

"All I know is that the Gaunt family is a very old wizarding family. Wait ! I think there was a triple murder of Muggles that had been committed by a Gaunt during Second World War, if I remember well. I was about to graduate from Hogwarts."

"Yes, you're right. Morfin Gaunt had been framed for these murders. He had been sentenced for life to Azkaban for that crime."

Minerva watched the Headmaster carefully. "Albus. Are they related to each other ? Something's telling me that you know more about that story than the average wizard."

"I'm afraid I do. I've managed to go to Azkaban and meet Morfin Gaunt a few weeks before he died, in my quest to get information about Voldemort's past." He went to a cabinet filled with various glass bulbs containing something misty inside. He opened the cabinet and took one of the bulbs. "Minerva, this is one of the most precious memories I have here in my collection," he said while handing her the glass bulb. "Morfin Gaunt's memory about the whole story behind these murders. Come with me, Minerva. We're going for a little ride into the past."

He opened the glass bulb and poured it into his Pensieve. Then, his hand on Minerva's arm, he let her dive into the Pensieve and soon followed her.

* * *

_A young man had come to visit him earlier that evening. Morfin Gaunt, alone as he was after the death of his father and sister, was sitting in his armchair, a glass of Firewhisky in his hand. He did not know the young man. He had never seen him. The young man had introduced himself as the son of his sister Merope. Morfin, already hot with alcohol, had become quickly suspicious about his nephew. _

_He became downright angry when he discovered that his sister had committed the unthinkable – getting herself married to a Muggle and borne him a son. The very young man in front of him. Thing was, the young man, his nephew, was the spitting image of his father, that Muggle Morfin remembered, even after all these years. He remembered his sister Merope's infatuation after him. His dislike and disgust for the young man standing in front of him grew by the minute._

_They both had a row, after which the young man, though aged only sixteen, managed to get the best of Morfin magically. The boy was powerful. He stole Marvolo Gaunt's ring that Morfin wore now since his father's demise, as well as his wand. He left, promising he would come back soon to give the two objects back to his uncle, stating he needed them now, but for a short time only._

_Then, the memory began to get foggy up to the moment when a young woman entered the house. Albus and Minerva heard her called 'Morfin ! Cousin Morfin ! It's me, Cassiope !' several times. She arrived in the sitting-room and took care of her cousin, now lying on the floor._

_She was young, in her early twenties. She had jet black hair, tied together, but a few loose curls had managed to escape. She had deep blue eyes in a pale complexion. She was pretty._

"_Morfin ! What happened to you ?" she said while kneeling down besides his form, putting a basket nearby her._

"_A young man, saying he's my nephew, Merope's son… He came here… we had a row… over my wand and my father's ring… The Gaunts' ring ! He said he would come back…"_

_The young woman looked suspicious and concerned. "But why would he take your wand, Morfin ?"_

"_I don't know ! He's just the son of a… Merope, that slut… she married that filthy Muggle from the mansion further down the road, you know. Riddle is his name. She married without our consent ! And a Muggle to top it all off ! While me and our father were in Azkaban !"_

"_Listen, Morfin, you should be happy to have a bit of family back to you…"_

"_You think so ? The son of a filthy Muggle ? Listen, Cassiope, you're my first cousin, you're the closest thing I have as a family, you hear ?"_

"_I've brought you something to eat, Morfin. Now, simmer down. I'll wait for him with you and we'll see then."_

_Suddenly, Morfin grabbed her cloak. "Cassiope ! Cassiope… Listen to me… carefully… You won't do that. This guy means business. He's up to no good in my opinion. I don't want anything to happen to you, right ?"_

"_What else do you want to happen to me ?" she said while taking her wand out of her sleeve, from under her cloak._

"_You don't understand !" he bellowed. "What do you think will happen when a wizard steal a wand from another wizard ? Don't be that stupid ! Don't be like that stupid Squib sister of mine !"_

"_Merope was not a Squib, Morfin, you know it and I know it too. Now, you listen to me and have your meal…" She tried her best to remain calm in front of her infuriated cousin._

"_I won't have anything !" he roared. "Get out of here, Cassiope ! Do as I tell you, please ! This guy… I felt it… Sixteen years-old, he told me, but I can feel he's already full of pure evil. If he comes back here and see you, only Merlin knows what he'll do to you ! Now go !"_

"_Morfin, I won't let a sixteen-years-old boy best me ! Together, we can…"_

"_Are you deaf ?" he bellowed. "He's full of evil and hatred ! It smells Dark magic all over him ! Now go !"_

"_Morfin, he's going to harm you !"_

"_It can't be worse than Azkaban, believe me ! Now get out of here before he returns !" he screamed again. "Take your basket with you, otherwise, he'll see somebody came and I don't want him on your trail !"_

_He was angry yet he looked terrified. Something in his voice, in his eyes, said it all and she began to stand up. "Cassiope ! Promise me one thing : Whatever may happen to me in the future, do not interfere. On the contrary, go, leave the place forever and get lost for us ! Dig ? Swear you'll disappear !" As she hesitated, "SWEAR !" _

"_I do… I swear !" she replied, as much frightened now by the situation than by her cousin. Then Morfin released her cloak and let go of her. Yet she did not have time to go out of the house. Someone was banging at the door, talking loudly, a voice that Morfin recognize and that ordered him to let him enter._

"_It's him !" Morfin said in panic._

_The young woman was scared. She took her basket with her. She cast a Disillusionment charm over herself and waited in silence in a dark corner of the room. A few seconds later, a young man entered. He was young indeed, most likely in his teenage years. He was devilishly handsome. Dark eyes, dark hair, a pale complexion. But there was an aura of pure evil around him that made Cassiope Gaunt shiver. She braced herself and remained invisible. Her cousin Morfin talked with the young man heatedly. They argued again. _

_Protected by her concealing charm, Cassiope did not dare move though as she had felt that the young man had very bad intentions indeed. The young man threw a wand at Morfin's feet. They went on arguing about a ring – Marvolo Gaunt's ring. _

_It happened the young man had the upper hand. He did after doing a bit of magic over Morfin's head. He talked loudly and it scared her to death, as she was under the impression that he knew she was there and he was uttering these words only for her._

"_And you better have no other member of your family, Gaunt, I say_ no other member of your family_, run after me ! Otherwise, they'll die a painful death. I just killed my filthy Muggle father and his filthy Muggle parents ! Your relatives, if there are still any, better disappear as I will chase them all over the country to kill them if needed. There shall be no other witness left ! I am the last and only Heir of Slytherin !"_

_Morfin glanced at the spot where __Cassiope had frozen under her concealment charm. What kind of man was that ? A man, no, a boy, that had just killed in cold blood his father and his father's parents ? Morfin had been right to warn her – apparently, the young man had not noticed her. He had perceived the young man's evil nature too and had tried to save her hide. No doubt the young man would have killed her on the spot if she had stayed with her cousin. _

_Morfin saw __Cassiope release her breath after she canceled her charm. She remained there in the house for long minutes, time to make sure the young man was gone definitively. Then she Disapparated, without even a single word for her cousin Morfin. After all, she had promised him to disappear._

_He hoped she had taken the right decision. That she would disappear quick. Tomorrow. He hoped she would leave Little Hangleton and would try to get lost in another part of England._

* * *

When they came back a few minutes later, it was as if they had spent a good hour in the past. They had heard the relation by Morfin Gaunt of the fateful evening that had cost him his freedom.

Minerva looked flabbergasted. "That means… Albus !"

He nodded. "Yes." He paused. "I've always wondered what all that meant, and eventually, I did not pay attention to the young woman at the beginning of the memory. Now I understand that part better." He sighed.

"Does Lorena know about this ?"

He shook his head. "No, she doesn't. I'm not sure that she knows that the Cassiope Gaunt we just saw is indeed her grandmother."

"I had always thought she was a Muggle-born. Do you plan to tell her ? In her condition ? And what about telling Severus ? He's one of _them_ !"

No need to explain what _them_ refered to in Minerva's mouth. One of _his_ followers. One of the Dark Lord's Death-Eaters. "I must think about it, Minerva. I can't promise you anything. But if I choose to tell her everything about her ancestry, I'd like you to be there."

"Of course, Albus, I will be there ! But I think we should… take our time before revealing anything so… so terrible to her !"

"I agree. It deserves careful consideration. As for telling or not Severus… I trust him."

"Does that mean you'll tell him what you just showed me ? That you'll show him this too ?"

"I may indeed. I must think first whether it serves our purpose or not."

"Albus, don't talk like a Slytherin, will you !"

The Headmaster chuckled. "How interesting. You speak like Severus sometimes. He keeps telling me that sort of things, you know."

"I'm not amused, Albus ! Her ancestry is not our business !"

"Beg me to differ, Minerva. Her ancestry is certainly the key to some of our questions. Besides, Lorena's grandmother was a witch, from one of the oldest pureblood wizarding families in Britain. That means that her children – among them, Lorena's father – are also magical people. We must make sure about all this. We need to get more information in this regard. I don't even know her father's date of birth to search our records here."

"This is not only about ancestry. We're talking about a young pregnant woman, aged 18, one of our students !" McGonagall flared. Lorena was not one of her house students but she felt protective of her anyway, without knowing exactly why. Maybe she deemed that the young woman would need extra female protection in front of powerful wizards such as Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape and the Dark Lord.

"We're also talking about Lord Voldemort. Everything pertaining to him is indeed our business," Albus retorted coldly. He sighed. "I must think about it first. I promise you, Minerva, I will give it all the due consideration that matter requires."

With that he closed the small cabinet that kept his Pensieve. Minerva left the office, dismissing herself. "I trust you will, Albus," she said before disappearing in the stairs.

* * *

_**To write that scene, I got inspired by both the memories scenes in the **_**Half-Blood Prince**_** book and movie, when Dumbledore shows Harry the memories he has collected over time about Tom Riddle. The chapter in the book is entitled "**_**The House of Gaunt"**_**. It is not shown in the movie (only the orphanage scene is) but the atmosphere and the aesthetics of the movie provided an interesting source of inspiration that played in my mind and helped me imagine and figure out that chapter.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	74. A marriage proposal

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**7****4 – A marriage proposal**

Lorena and Severus had come back to the Slytherin area. They entered his quarters for their lunch. The Potions Master summoned a house elf to bring them something to eat. A few minutes later, they were sharing a hearty meal in silence.

"Did you plan to tell the Headmaster eventually ?"

"About what my father said ?"

"Yes."

"Of course, I wanted to tell him eventually. But I was too much sad after the visit, and after the… rows we had… I was too much distressed to think about it," she ended up saying with a little voice.

She felt a warm hand on hers. "That's fine, Lorena," Severus said softly. "I don't want you to feel guilty. There's no guilt to be felt."

Instinctively, her fingers squeezed his hand. The memory of their last time they had had sex together came back to her. She blushed and felt better. Her hand remained in Severus'.

"Lorena, will you come back to Spinner's End with me ? Tonight ?"

The young woman said nothing. She averted her gaze. "I suppose I don't have any choice ?"

"Well, I want you to be with me, for your protection. Also, because if the Dark Lord knows that I'm not with you to look after you, he'll be angry. Very angry. Remember you carry his child – well, you're _supposed_ to carry his child."

She sighed. "I will follow you then, Severus. I don't want anything bad to happen to you. I don't want you to suffer or die because of me."

They finished their meal in silence. Severus told the young woman he would spend a part of his afternoon in his lab, checking his stores, so that he could be ready for the next term. Lorena told him she would be in the Slytherin common room to play, or in her dorm for a nap if needed. They would go back to Spinner's End after dinner.

Lorena left to her dorm. She needed a nap and after, she would play a moment. Severus went to his potions lab and stores. One hour later, the young woman came back to the Slytherin common room and a few minutes later, some music could be heard in the dungeons.

Severus had finished his tasks in the lab and stores. He decided to leave his quarters for the Slytherin common room. After all, they could have dinner there too. He would ask a house elf to bring them their meal there and they would leave for Spinner's End after that as scheduled. In the mean time, he would enjoy Lorena's music.

They were both enjoying the moment when they heard a knock on the door of the Slytherin common room. Severus got to his feet and went out to see who it could be. There he met Albus Dumbledore. Both men entered the common room. Though he was not a Slytherin, as the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore could access any room in Hogwarts. He was tied as such to the castle's magic, which let him go anywhere inside. But out of politeness and tact, Dumbledore preferred to knock before entering any common room – including the Gryffindors', though this was his original House.

"Ah, Severus, just to inform you that we'll have a meeting of the Order here tonight. I expect you to be present. I'm sorry if you had any particular plans for tonight, but they will have to be postponed."

Severus looked crossed. "We had planned to go back to Spinner's End tonight, after dinner. I guess we'll have to wait then before coming back. We'll leave tomorrow then."

"Well, I suppose you won't join us for dinner in the Great Hall, Severus."

"You suppose well, I'll stay here with Lorena, we'll have dinner together. However, I'll be present for the Order meeting, of course."

Albus smiled. The couple seemed to be starting anew indeed – with a lovely dinner together alone. _Maybe Severus is learning. Good for him._

"Right. My office, 8pm, tonight." On these words, the old man left the Slytherin common room.

"I'm sorry, Lorena, for this change of plans. Looks like you'll spend the whole night here in Hogwarts."

"Don't worry. I'll be in my dorm, reading and completing my homework if needed. I could have an early night too."

"I'll ask a house elf to bring us dinner here, in the common room. I like the Slytherin common room. Hasn't changed much since my days here. I'd be delighted if you join me."

"I will, Severus, I will."

"So that's settled." He checked his pocket watch. That left them about two hours before the meeting. He called a house elf to order a meal for two to be served in the Slytherin common room in half an hour. So that they would have time to eat and even chat if they felt it too before Severus went to the Headmaster's office.

He would have loved to go back to Spinner's End with Lorena. But in these troubled times, he knew that Order's business was top priority. Even Lorena must have understood that as she had showed no disappointment. _Well, she wanted to spend the rest of the Christmas break here at Hogwarts anyway. It couldn't go against her plans_, he sighed.

"Lorena, I'm sorry for that change of plans."

"That's fine, Severus." She was sure he _knew_ she was glad at this change in program. She had been the one to wish to come back to Hogwarts after all. No need to lie – especially to an accomplished Legilimens such as Severus. Yet, she did not wish to have another row with him. He had decided to behave nicely with her. She did not wish to spoil the moment though she could not forget the fights of the last days and what had happened just before the break, in the forest.

They enjoyed a peaceful dinner in the Slytherin common room. It was good to have the room for themselves and Lorena had to admit that it would be a treasurable evening for her. She hoped it would be for Severus too.

Then they parted. She reassured Severus she would stay put while he would be at the Order meeting. She retreated to her dorm. It came to her mind that Alastor Moody would surely be present too. That meant he was in Hogwarts now. Sitting nearby the fireplace in the dorm, she let her mind wander. Her empty eyes could not see the flames but her hearing was acute enough to figure it out thanks to the sweet cracklings of the wood burning in the hearth. Thinking of Moody, she could not help remembering the lovely time she had had with him – when every thing was falling apart with Severus.

Lorena had been lost in her reverie for an undetermined amount of time when she heard a screeching sound on one of the windows. The Slytherin dorms were just above the lake water level, so that the kids living there would not be completely deprived of light, contrary to the common room and the rest of the classrooms in the dungeons, that were below water level.

Lorena got to her feet and found out the right window to open, still thanks to her hearing. A rush of cold air entered the dorm, as well as an owl, rustling its wet feathers. The bird was obviously glad to find itself in a warmer environment as it had begun to snow, or at least to sleet again over Hogwarts.

"A message for me ?" Lorena asked. The owl hooted in response, while perching itself on the back of a chair nearby. The young woman understood this was a 'yes' indeed. Her hands found the rolled parchment tied on the owl's leg, along with a packet. She untied the whole thing.

She sat on the sofa nearby the fireplace. She slid her wand out of her right sleeve. She directed her wand on the parchment. "_Yod Legimeo_." Soon the words formed into her mind. It was a message from Alastor Moody.

_My d__early beloved Lorena,_

_I hope this message will find you well and that your little one is still growing __fine in you._

_I enjoy the opportunity to be in Hogwarts tonight to owl you this message from Hogsmeade. When you read this, I'll be in Dumbledore's office already for a meeting. As it promised to be long, I will stay for the rest of the night in my quarters at the castle once it's over. _

_I only write to you now as I'm sure that you'll be alone to read it. I've been told (don't ask me how or by whom) that __Snape is looking after you, ensuring your protection. For obvious reasons, I do not wish him to read this over your shoulder._

_Lorena, I can't hold it any longer, hence my seizing this opportunity to write__ to you – keeping in mind the discretion around this message for your own sake. Since the night we shared together before I left for the break, I can't stop thinking about you. There's not a single moment in my day, and even more at night, once alone in my bed, when I don't think about you and the love we had made together._

_Please do not think about me as a dirty o__ld man. You know I'm not. It's just that my lips on yours, my hands on your skin, my cock thrusting in your body, the screams of pleasure I could draw from you, all this is still so vivid in my mind and in my flesh. I can't forget about all this, I can't forget about you. I still want you like mad. I'm just a man, but a man deeply in love with you. Yes, I said it : not only I desire you but I do love you. I can't forget the pleasure I received from you and I still want to give you all I can, all I have, in terms of sensuality and love._

_I realized all this only after I had left Hogwarts for the break. I miss you awfully. Remember that conversation together about you marrying a kind wizard that would treat you right ? I can be that wizard for you, Lorena. I'd be delighted to have you as mine again and forever, to welcome your child as mine too. I want your happiness, in particular if that may allow you to escape a brutal wizard that cannot make you happy obviously__ – even if he is your child's father, as you explained to me before. I know it may sound like a proposal – well, it is._

_Should you wish to discuss about this with me tonight, you may come to my quarters. I should be there by midnight (I hope). In the mean time, to avoid you waiting outside, you may enter my quarters using my password ('Constant Vigilance'). Once inside, please make yourself at ease, like at home. Moreover, in order for you to come to my quarters undetected, I join an Invisibility Cloak to this message. It's reduced, just use the _'Engorgio'_ spell to restore it to its normal size._

_I really hope to see you tonight._

_With all my love.  
__Alastor M._

_PS : if you do not wish or cannot come, which I can understand, please just return this message and packet to me using the same owl but please send it back tomorrow morning only. I don't wish to receive it during my meeting ! Nobody except Dumbledore is supposed to know I am in Hogwarts tonight._

Lorena did not expect such a message. She read it again two other times to be convinced she was not dreaming. A marriage proposal ! The packet indeed contained a reduced version of an Invisibility Cloak of great quality, from the feel of the fabric. He really wanted her to come to his quarters. At the same time, she was touched by his attentions and all the precautions he had taken to ensure she would not get caught. Besides, though he knew she was blind, he was sure she could cope with that and manage to go to his quarters.

Lorena was troubled. She thought about Severus. Would it be akin to cheating on him ? Well, she was not married with him. Not yet. There was the matter of that Unbreakable Vow… that could not be broken. She had hoped to have that part canceled so that she could try to begin her love life anew, with another wizard, one that would prove loving and kind. Especially after all these rows with Severus. She loved him but he was too much for her to handle. She could not. While Alastor… everything seemed so easy with him. Alastor Moody, that had proposed marriage to her. _Mrs Alastor Moody… Lorena Moody… Alan Moody…_

No. As per the Unbreakable Vow, her name and that of her child would be Snape. _Alan Severus Snape… Lorena Snape… Mrs Severus Snape…_

_Why couldn't it be as easy with you, Severus ?_ She sighed. What would she do ? Alastor had proved to be a good lover too, and a kind man, full of attentions, caring and funny. Of course, Severus had his qualities too. He was far younger than the ex-Auror. Yet, he was not a nice man. He was not always caring. He was brutal, even violent. He had raped her once and had tried two other times after that. He had drugged her to have sex with her - successfully. But his voice was so comforting, he was brilliant, he knew so many things, he kissed so divinely well…

Lorena came back to reality. A quick flick of her wand onto her watch informed her that it was 9pm. _Their meeting is in full swing now_. If she wanted to make an escape to Moody's quarters, it was now or never. _Maybe I could just go there and see him for a while. Just a little chit-chat._ She had to confess that after the rows she had had with Severus, she needed a bit of comfort, a comfort the Potions Master could not give her now and that she was not ready to receive from him either, not after all that had happened between them these last few days at Spinner's End.

_Maybe… if I need to be reassured by Alastor, that means I don't really love Severus after all._ The thought had popped up in her mind. She felt stabbed in the back, assaulted by her own intellect. Yet, Lorena could not deny the fact. _Maybe Alastor can help me make sure that I… about my feelings for Severus._ Well, the ex-Auror did not know a single thing about her involvement with Severus. He did not know that the Potions Master was her child's father. That he was the violent man that had brutalized her. He did not know there was an Unbreakable Vow involved between her and Severus.

Lorena stood up suddenly. _He_ _has to know. Out of honesty. Whatever the future has in stock for me and Severus, Alastor has to know._ Especially since she knew that an Unbreakable Vow was definitive. She tucked the letter in her robes pocket and slid her wand back into her sleeve. She took the owl back to the window and released it, telling it to spend the night in the castle owlery, instead of going back to Hogsmeade. The bird left. Then Lorena went to the bathroom and made sure she was fine. She left the dorm for the common room. She donned the Invisibility Cloak, after having enlarged it to its normal size, and went out of the Slytherin common room. She was sure she would not meet any students in the dungeon area as this was Professor Snape's domain. No students in their right mind would ever think of having a snog hidden in the dungeons, with the dreadful Potions Master possibly lurking in the hallways and corridors as usual – unless they wished to lose their Houses more points than necessary and earn themselves a few detentions.

* * *

She arrived to Alastor Moody's office without any problem, without meeting anyone, not even Filch and his cat. She rapped his door out of reflex, before realizing he was in the meeting and the office was therefore empty. _The same meeting than Severus._ She whispered the password. The wards let her come in and she closed the door, the wards up again after her passage.

She found the sofa and started a nice fire with a flick of her hand. At least, the place would be cosy when Alastor would be back. She continued her reverie, this time in front of another fireplace. She eventually dozed off, cradled by the sweet atmosphere, her wandering thoughts and the loving memories of Alastor Moody making love to her. She needed love, care and attention. Obviously, Severus could not give her all this. While Moody could.

* * *

_**OMG... what is Lorena going to do with Moody's proposal ? **_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	75. Shades of gray

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**7****5 – Shades of gray**

Lorena woke up when she felt a hand caressing her cheek gently. "Alastor ?"

"Himself, Lorena. I'm glad you got my message and cloak."

She stood up, a smile on her lips. "What time is it ?"

"Eleven. I thought we would have finished later but no." Good for him. Alastor had to reckon he must have looked a bit nervous that evening but he had Occluded his mind carefully – especially in the presence of two powerful Legilimenses like Dumbledore and Snape.

_Then Severus must be out too, back to his quarters._ She hoped he would not come and see her in her dorm. _Oh well… never mind._ She would not think about him now, between another man's arms. Yet, something winced in her.

Soon, she felt Alastor's arms around her waist, his lips on hers. She was surprised by the kiss but after all, it was not so unexpected after the letter he had sent her. She let him plunder her mouth deeply, their tongues playing together sensually.

"How are you, my beloved ?" he asked softly.

"Fine. The baby's fine too." She did not want him to worry about her.

"I hope you were not shocked by the content of my letter, Lorena," he said sheepishly.

"Honestly, Alastor, do you think I would have come here if that had been the case ?"

"Well, you may have come to make me a scene. For offensive content."

Lorena had had her fair share of scenes. She could not say so to Alastor though. She smiled. "No. I would have stayed in my dorm. If I'm here…" she stopped, just caressing his face, re-acquainting herself with him. "I just wanted to be in your arms." She had not planned to say so but it had come out like that.

"You're in my arms now, Lorena." He sat down on the sofa, dragging her onto his lap. His hand roamed over her belly. "I can feel the little one moving," he said while kissing her neck.

"How was your meeting ?"

"Interesting. But I can't say more."

"That's okay, I understand."

"So, Lorena…" His hand on her belly moved down towards her legs. "I hope you had no problem in coming here. No bad encounters ?"

"None. You thought about everything, thank you."

"That's my job, thinking about everything. Well, it was. An Auror has to think about all the details of an operation."

She giggled. Alastor took her lips with his, for another sensual kiss. She was careful to hide the love-bite scar on her neck. Soon, his hand was under her dress, between her thighs.

"I want to make love to you, Lorena. I can feel you need it too. You want to be loved," he said after breaking the kiss. What she loved with him was that he always talked about _her_ needs and wants. "I want to give you pleasure. Do you want it ?"

Yes, Lorena wanted it. Now, she had completely forgotten the real motive for which she had come to his quarters : the matter of the Unbreakable Vow she had taken with Severus. That would have compelled her to reveal the name of her child's father. It crossed her mind that she did not wish this fact to be known – at least from Alastor Moody. She just wanted to be cuddled, cherished, pleasured. Loved.

By the time they reached his bed, they were almost naked. Moody pushed her onto the bed gently, then fell on her, his mouth devouring her with kisses. Lorena moaned under his touch. She groaned when she felt his hand between her thighs, his thumb stroking her clit, his fingers in her warm and wet cavity, while he was laving her nipples with his tongue. He soon entered her, pushing his maleness into her womanhood with both haste and caution. She was ready to receive him though and they quickly reached ecstasy together a few minutes later.

It had been quick but they had really needed the release it had given them. They kept on kissing for long minutes, taking real delight in feeling their tongues playing with each other.

They remained on the bed, silent, oblivious of their surroundings. Moody kissed her belly amorously. "How much I'd like to have you as my witch, Lorena. I take you both, with the kid, of course."

His remark brought her back to reality. Lorena thought about the Unbreakable Vow. She was about to tell him the truth when she changed her mind and remained silent. She just stroked his grizzled hair in a light caress. She did not wish to spoil that precious moment with difficult revelations.

"Alastor… love me, please."

He looked up at her. "I will, Lorena, I will."

A bit later, they were at it again. Moody made her come with his tongue on her clit, before his maleness claimed her body. He made her roll over him. "Take me, Lorena."

She complied with a kiss that invaded his mouth, her tongue drawing the outline of his lips. She loved to do that to Severus… _Oh Merlin !_ She was still thinking about him. She remembered when he had drugged her at Spinner's End, with the Elixir. They had made love like that too.

Moody's powerful hands around her body, caressing her flanks, reminded her of Severus' hands. _No ! I won't think about him now !_ Curiously, thinking about the Potions Master made her go higher and higher in her pleasure. If only Severus could be as much kind as Alastor was... She was aware that both men were different yet they could please her as much. _Can we love two different men at the same time ?_ She Occluded her mind at once. She felt her partner coming. His pleasure made her come. She reached the apex of her ecstasy too and they both grunted with sexual bliss. Moody put his hand behind her neck and drew her to him for a kiss, his tongue searching her mouth with delight. She sagged over him, feeling safe with his arms around her.

Half an hour later, Moody was ready for sex again. This time, Lorena had given him pleasure with her hands and tongue. When he was rock hard enough to take her, he kissed her clit again, sending her high for pleasure. She implored him to stop and take her. He grabbed her hips, spread her legs wide and entered her with a deep grunt. He went in and out, slowly, building up their respective pleasure.

Suddenly, the image of Severus taking her the same way sprang up in her mind. This time, Lorena could not chase the thought out of her mind. Severus ramming his cock in her body. Severus stroking her thighs, his tongue on her womanhood. Severus caressing her breasts. Severus licking her nipples. Severus kissing her greedily. Severus making her scream out of pleasure. Severus possessing her fully, body and soul… For long seconds, she imagined it was Severus that was loving her now, taking her ardently.

_I __still love you, Severus. I want you too. Oh Alastor… I'm so sorry…_

Alastor's cock in her body but the image of Severus in her mind. She felt pleasure anyway. Maybe her ideal man was a combination of both of them. Yet, she knew she had to choose between them.

_Save I don't really have a choice. The Unbreakable Vow… No. I chose to have Severus as my first lover. I chose to __take that Vow with him._

She screamed her pleasure now, as Alastor was hitting her cervix in his frenzy. He was grunting loudly too. At one moment, she clenched her wet walls around his cock, he released his control and they felt a wave of sexual bliss overwhelming them. _Severus…_ She had almost said his name when coming. She had to bite her lips to prevent that.

_Severus…_ For a moment, she remembered when he had drugged her a few days before. Sex with him had felt so good, so right, so delightful. _Severus, I need you…_ Now there was only a feeling of loss. She wanted to cry.

Choosing one man would mean losing the other. Alastor noticed she was crying silently. "I hope I didn't hurt you, Lorena. I must reckon it was a bit raunchy a ride…"

"No, that's okay…" was all she could say. "I enjoyed it, really." That was true. He just had the wrong motive for her tears. Her pain was not of a physical nature.

Alastor had already heard that some women cried after a particularly intense sexual intercourse. They had made love three times in a bit more than one hour. It had been intense, at least for him and he had no doubt that it had been the same for her too. Lorena was probably one of these women. Besides, her pregnancy may have made her more sensitive. He deemed that all these combined were the reasons for her tears. He kissed her tenderly to soothe her, dabbing her tears with his fingers in a sweet caress.

They remained as such, coiled in each other's arms, until Lorena's cries subsided. "How do you feel ?"

"Better."

"What happened ? I really hope I didn't hurt you. Feel free to tell me."

"No, it's not you. It has nothing to do with you or the way you took me, Alastor. I promise you. It's just… well… too much for me… I mean, you gave me so much pleasure… My pregnancy makes me sensitive sometimes." She sighed. "I should go back to my dorm now."

Moody was surprised by her suggestion. "Are you sure ? You may stay here for the rest of the night, if you wish. You don't have class these days, do you ?"

_No, I don't. I just have the most __overprotective and possessive Potions Master living in my midst, who also happens to be the man I love._ "No, I don't. But I think it would be wiser if I spend the rest of the night in my bed."

Moody did not wish to contradict her. She looked upset, no need to add more. "I would have loved to join you in your dorm but I've been sorted as a Gryffindor and I'm not sure that the Slytherin common room would let me access your bed. Gryffindor boys could not even access Gryffindor girls' dorms in my days !"

She smiled. "Some Gryffindor girls told me that this is still the case today. If Gryffindor males are all like you… that's understandable. The castle is wise."

Moody laughed heartily and it cheered her up too. "You're right. But you won't tell me that cunning Slytherin boys are different from brash Gryffindor boys regarding sex and love."

"I don't know. But maybe it's just that Slytherin girls are cunning enough not to let them in. Not that Gryffindor girls are stupid. Just as brash as the boys, that's all."

He laughed. "Yes, there were quite a few wild ones in my days. Are you alone now, I mean, are there other Slytherin students here during the break ?"

"No. I'm the only one to stay here." _Except Severus._

"Oh. I suppose the closest Slytherin in your vicinity is Snape, then."

She averted her eyes. "We may say it like this." She made a tremendous effort to smile... and to lie. "Me in my dorm, him in his quarters. The Slytherin common room, the Potions classroom and his office in between." She pushed him gently. "I need to go back to my dorm, really."

"Have a shower first, Lorena, that is, if you wish."

"No. I really need to go back now. I'll do so once there. What time is it by the way ?"

"A quarter to one. We're already tomorrow."

She began to get dressed. He followed suit. "I'll accompany you back. I don't want you to wander alone in the corridors. I don't think that Snape's taken a break regarding patrolling the castle during the holidays."

Lorena shivered at the notion of the Potions Master encountering them. Severus knew the truth about her affair with Moody. He would deduct logically the reason why both she and the ex-Auror were together in the corridors… Better be caught alone, she could still argue she was hungry and back from the kitchens. "No, Alastor, that's okay. The castle and the ghosts are friendly with me, they will look after me. You must be exhausted with that meeting and your taking care of me the way you just did…"

He seized her arm. "I feel like a young man with you, Lorena. I _am_ a young man with you actually. I even think that I could keep you satisfied for the rest of the night. And I promise you this is no Gryffindor brashness."

She laughed heartily. "Oh Alastor, I don't doubt you, after what you did to me tonight. It's just that I don't think this is a good idea if we are both caught together in the corridors. Your Gryffindor brashness would be tempted to take me in a dark corner. Not that I would mind. But if I'm caught on my way back from the kitchens, it'll be a more plausible and less embarrassing excuse for being out of my bed at this time of the night, don't you think ?"

She was right and he knew it. "Yeah, especially with Snape around."

"So, I'll see you again when term resumes."

Lorena nodded. She was relieved that he saw things from her own perspective. She finished to get dressed. Moody took her lips for a last time, a deep kiss that lasted a minute or two before lifting the wards and let her out, after checking there was nobody around.

* * *

_**Yes, indeed, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Lorena's action in this chapter is a prove of that. I'm afraid she's no more advanced than she was when entering Moody's quarters, as far as her feelings are concerned. **_

_**Can we love two men at the same time ? she asked. I think, personnally, that may be possible. Complicated, but possible. Life and people are not so clearly cut, black and white. I believe they come out in all shades of gray. Hence the title of that chapter.**_

_**Please rate and review ! **__**Thanks in anticipation !**_


	76. What kind of man are you ?

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**7****6 – What kind of man are you ?**

Lorena found herself alone in the corridors. She was not afraid and she even trusted the castle magic to help her find her way back to the Slytherin common room. She quickly made it to the ground floor – Alastor's quarters being located on the second floor. Another level down and from there, it would be plausible for her to come back from the kitchens.

Nearly Headless Nick, the Gryffindor ghost, was in the area. He was nice enough to inform her that Filch was patrolling on the fourth floor. Lorena thanked him and went on her way to the Slytherin area confidently. She was about to go downstairs towards the dungeons, when she felt a powerful hand on her arm. She shrieked out of surprise, more than fright. Through the contact, she recognized the owner of the hand.

"Lorena ! What are you doing here, at this time of the night ?"

"Sev…" She stopped – maybe he was not alone. "Professor, you scared the magic out of me !" Her free hand touched her chest, feeling her heartbeat racing like mad under her dress. She felt both reassured he was there and anxious as to his next questioning her whereabouts of the night.

"What are you doing here ?" he repeated slow and low, a hint of danger in his voice.

She Occluded her mind. "I was… hungry. I'm back from the kitchens." Logical, for a pregnant woman after all. And not necessarily a lie : she had been hungry – for love.

Yet, she must not have sounded convincing enough. "Are you sure ?" he asked, doubt mingled with scorn in his tone.

"Yes, I am, sir ! Pregnancy cravings and all," she replied at once, having perceived his suspicion. She could not see him but she was sure he had his dark gaze boring into her empty eyes. Instinctively, she turned her face away from him. That gesture lost her.

"I think you're lying, Lorena," he growled. "There's something you don't want to say, something you don't want me to know, something you hide." He took her face in his hand to compel her to look in his direction. She Occluded her mind tight and raised her mental shields to their maximum. If he wanted to invade her mind, he would be in for a painful ride.

"Believe what you want, Professor, but let me go." _How can I love him ?_ Her feelings for him, her anxiety over the question now lingering in her mind, her proximity to him, the remains of the lovemaking with Alastor, all this made her send a love wave to him. Her magic left her before she could do anything to retain it.

"Don't play that game with me, Lorena," he said when feeling the tickling sensation on his chest, where the Love-Snakes ring was, under his garments.

"What… game ?"

"You just did it, summoning me, shall I say, through our rings, if you see what I mean."

Of course, she did. The reference to the Dark Mark was obvious. He has used the same comparison that the one she had used earlier when explaining about the link between the rings. "Let me go, Professor. I want to go back to my dorm now."

He pressed her against his body. She could feel his breath on her hair. "I think you're lying, Lorena. You don't come back from the kitchens. I can't smell food on you." He got closer to her, as if to smell her. After all, she should have listened to Moody and taken that shower. "You smell like… sex, Lorena."

"What do yo mean ?" she said with a mocking tone.

"That's pretty obvious. I know how you smell when aroused. You are."

"You're wrong !" she said, jerking her arm to get rid of him. "Let me go !"

But his grip on her was stronger. "Don't. Lie. To. Me." He dragged her closer to him. "There are smells that can never be forgotten. Especially by a Potions Master." His voice had dropped very low and cold yet it still retained its purring and sensual quality. Some voices were like some smells after all. A blind girl like Lorena could not but be aware of that fact. "Yours… I can't forget it." His voice has something almost sad. It sounded like… regret.

Lorena swallowed hard. He was so close to the truth. "You're hurting me, Professor," she said firmly.

Suddenly, Severus dragged her along with him down to the dungeons. Lorena perceived he was bringing her back to the Slytherin common room, though he had said nothing. Yet, her contact telepathy informed her he was downright angry. She felt jealousy too. She was scared, only Merlin knew what he could do to her again if he discovered that she had just had sex with another man. With Moody in particular.

She deemed wise not to resist his pull. She almost stumbled several times while trying to keep up with his stride. She just hoped her baby would not be hurt in case she may fall. She had shrieked the first yards of walking like this but he had silenced her with a spell. She could not speak. Her mouth gasped but no sound made it out.

Once they were in the Slytherin common room, Severus pushed her inside, casting a silencing spell over the place, warding the door locked, so that nobody could enter the room or hear what was said inside. He also released her from the _Langlock_ he had cast on her.

Lorena could sense all this. It meant he was up to no good. Once she took her bearings, she managed to make a beeline to her dorm, as fast as her blindness and pregnancy could allow her.

"Come back here, Lorena !" she heard him yell. But she went on and closed the door of her dorm before he could catch her. She set up a ward with her wand as quick as she could, aware she was only a few seconds ahead of him, hoping it would hold long enough for her to find a hiding place.

Yet, Lorena knew that a powerful wizard like Severus Snape would be quick in disabling the ward she had set up. She was searching a suitable hiding place at the other end of the room when she heard the door opening. She stood up, wand at the ready, facing the entrance, mustering as much courage as she could to confront him.

Severus saw her. "Well, well, well." He got closer to her, prowling towards her like a predator, silently. "I suppose you still have some progress to make before mastering door wards." He was about a dozen of feet away from her. "_Expelliarmus_ !"

Her wand escaped her hand. She heard it fall to the ground in a clattering sound. Using her psychokinetic abilities, she got her wand back in the following second. Obviously, Severus had not foreseen that. _The girl has self-control,_ he thought. Much more than he would have thought, given the circumstances.

Now she had her wand firmly in hand, her face trained in his direction. He moved to the right but her acute hearing made her turn her head in the same direction, her empty pale gray eyes following his moves.

Severus resorted to an old trick. He made a vase fall on the other side of the dorm. Lorena turned her head towards it, getting distracted for a second or two. An instant enough for the Potions Master to Disarm her. "_Expelliarmus_ !" This time, her wand flew directly into his hand thanks to a Summoning charm he had cast silently.

Lorena did not hear her wand fall and she wondered where it was now. "I have your wand with me, Lorena," Severus said softly. She swallowed hard. She was alone, blind and pregnant, trapped, in front of one of the most powerful wizards she knew, a brutal, violent, ruthless man, a man that lusted for her like mad. She tried to control the panic slowly creeping inside her.

No, she was not resourceless. With the power of her mind, she triggered off a fire wall between her and the Potions Master. In a circle around him, more precisely. She would not harm him but if it may buy her some time… She tried to find out an escape route. She turned around towards the fireplace behind her, leaving the sofa between her and Severus. Maybe there were some Floo powder nearby, she had never paid attention before… _But to go where ?_

A calm, cold voice could be heard, closer to her. He had managed to get out of the fire wall she had imprisoned him in. She gasped. "Your little trick did not work with me, Lorena. Wizards and witches have used Freezing Charms for centuries to survive burning at the stake. You must have learned that in History of Magic." His calm voice had something dangerous. "What will you do now, Lorena ? You don't have your wand."

"I can do wandless magic. You know it," she replied coldly. "Remember the _Avada Kedavra_ on that ant, during that dueling class ?" Her voice was icy now.

"You would not do that, would you ? Not to a teacher. Not to me. Not here in your dorm. You would not like to see your child born in jail, believe me. Especially in a jail like… Azkaban."

"Oh, you know how it is there ?" she asked, a bit of insolence lingering in her voice. "If one of us is to go to Azkaban, it should be _you_, Professor. With everything you probably did as a Death-Eater ! With everything you did to _me_ !"

"In that case, why didn't you report me to the Headmaster then ? Why didn't you press any charges against me ? Well, you already know the reason why you didn't. The very same one for which you won't cast an Unforgivable against me." He smirked. "You would not kill the man you love, would you ? Besides, it's completely in opposition to your own magic. Your magic won't like it at all, I can promise you that."

Lorena imagined the scene. The Hogwarts Potions Master discovered killed in the Slytherin girls dorm with an _Avada Kedavra_, murdered by one of his students, which he had made pregnant. A murder that would earn her a direct ticket to Azkaban. For life. Her baby born there and dispatched to wherever the Wizengamot would decide. What a fate for her little Alan, son of a Death-Eater, son of a murderess, a boy most likely chased by the Dark Lord for most of his life. What a fate…

_Not kill you but there are other Unforgivables. Like the one you used on me once – though unintentionally, I must reckon._ "_Crucio_ !" she said loud and clear.

She heard him cringe a little. But Severus regained his composure quickly. "Nice attempt. Nonetheless, one doomed to fail. I've developed a resistance to the Cruciatus Curse. Moreover, you lack the intention obviously. That's the intention that fuels spells, especially the Unforgivables."

Severus was impressed though he did not show it. The young woman had lacked the intention indeed, but the power was there. He was closer to her. He grabbed her arm and dragged her against his body.

"Leave me alone, Professor," she rasped.

"I'll leave you alone once I wring the truth out of you."

Lorena Occluded her mind as tight as possible. She used her telepathic abilities to raise powerful mental shields too. She would not surrender without putting up a good fight first.

She was right. His other hand had cupped her face, to compel her gaze to face the Potions Master's. "_Legilimens_ !"

"_Protego_ !" she yelled at the same time, putting all her might in the spell.

She heard him wince, his hand on her face releasing her. She tried to set herself free but his other hand on her arm still remained firm. The pain subsided in his mind. "You're a powerful witch, Lorena. But I'm stronger than you. In every aspect. Physically… Mentally… Magically."

His hand found her face again. This time, Severus cast the _Legilimens_ spell silently. Lorena tried to escape his grip by struggling against his body, flinging her fists against his chest. But he was stronger than her physically. His mighty magic launched the _Legilimens_ spell again. Under the assault, her mental shields began to crack. His powerful mind did the rest. She did not hit him anymore. Instead, Lorena's fists grasped his school robes to maintain balance on her feet.

Severus managed to enter her mind through the cracks. He cast _Legilimens_ a third time and entered her mind fully, obliterating her last mental defenses. Lorena screamed under the assault. He was right : he was too strong for her. She was no match against him, physically, mentally, magically.

He went through her very recent memories. He found what he was looking for. The owl bringing her the packet from Moody. Her reading the letter. A letter containing a marriage proposal. Her decision to leave the dorm and join the ex-Auror in his quarters. He was not there yet. Their kiss when he came back from the Order meeting. These were not real images as she was blind but rather mental impressions collected and built from her perceptions and feelings.

He saw in her mind Moody making love to her. The memory infuriated him to no end. Three times the older wizard had taken her, three times ! They had had a raunchy ride that left Severus longing for as much.

He also saw her doubts about her feelings for the two men. He was surprised that his image came back to her memory when making love with Moody. He clearly heard her thinking in her mind during that moment. That she liked Moody but she loved Severus… Unfortunately for her, the Potions Master was too much furious, angry, jealous, that he discarded that part quickly.

Then, once he had perused her mind, he backed off, leaving her exhausted with the resistance she had put up. Little by little, her physical forces left her and she slid slowly against him, to end up crumbling at his feet. Severus made no efforts to catch her. He had to admit that the young woman had been very strong and piercing her mental shields had required much more energy than he had thought. She was good, real good at that now. No wonder she had managed to fool the Dark Lord – like he did himself. She was a superb Occlumens. He was just stronger than her. Or more determined.

"I haven't forgotten how you smell when aroused, Lorena." His voice was so low, so deep, so rich, that she shuddered. "Now, I just know _who_ put you in that state," he whispered dangerously.

She could perceive his anger in his voice. Anger mingled with lust. She tried to remain calm, fighting back her panic.

"Do you remember what I've told you if I happened to catch you fooling around with another man ?" His voice was calmer than ever, yet Lorena could hear the anger in it. "That I won't let another man take you. You're mine and MINE only. Did you forget that ?" He paused. "Where's that letter Moody wrote to you ?"

Lorena said nothing. "Well, it doesn't matter. That's why you wanted to have the last part of the Vow canceled ? To marry Moody ? But you're mine, Lorena ! You carry my son, have you forgotten ?"

Severus had picked her up from his feet. His grip on her arms was hurting but she refrained from complaining. Only her face showed he hurt her. "You need a lesson, Lorena. Apparently, you have forgotten the lesson I had given you before, you little…" He stopped. The image of an angry Lily sprang to his mind, forever linked to _the_ word.

"Say it, Professor, just say it !" Lorena replied, mustering all her energy to do so, building it up on anger. "Say it ! That I'm just a… a little, filthy Mudblood _whore_ ! You already said it !" With the words, her combativeness came back.

"If you say so, Lorena, I won't contradict you," he snarled. "I just hope you remember what I can do to girls like you."

"To filthy Mudblood whores like me ? Do what you want, Professor. Behave like a Death-Eater, like the real Death-Eater you still are deep down, the Death-Eater you'll always be !" She was blind but her eyes were glaring at him. Contempt could be heard in her voice and that hurt him. "Has it ever crossed your brilliant mind the reason why I wanted to be with Professor Moody ? No ? Think then !"

She tried to disentangle herself from him. He retained his firm grip on her. "I'd be curious as to hear why you prefer to be with him than me. Oh, yes, you're blind. You'd be scared to see him actually. Blindness is bliss, I suppose." He still had this scathing tone in his cold voice.

Lorena's anger built up. "You're just like any other Death-Eater, thinking you're the best around just because of your proximity with the Dark Lord ! You're no better than Lucius Malfoy then ! I'm blind. I don't care about beauty – otherwise I would not even have been interested in _you_ in the first place, think of that !" She paused, appreciating her scathing remarks. "I'm aware Professor Moody is not a handsome man. His face, his body, are scarred. But deep down… He would never hurt me. You did. He never raped me, nor even attempted to do so. You cannot say the same. He is… always mindful and caring and…"

"I do care for you, Lorena !"

"Really ? But there's more than that. Alastor Moody _loves_ me. You don't. He proposed me, taking me with a child that is not even his. You needed an Unbreakable Vow to arrive to that. And the child is yours."

"An Unbreakable Vow you had wished to cancel !" he roared.

She searched her robes and got out a piece of parchment. "I don't care what you think ! Read his letter and you'll see ! You'll see what a man in love is !"

Severus took the parchment. He pushed the young woman to the sofa behind them and tied her there magically, so that she may not use the letter as a diversion to escape. He read the parchment. His rage came back, mingled with sadness this time. Moody's desire echoed his own and he felt lust taking over him again, imagining the ex-Auror doing to Lorena all these things he wanted to do to her. And that proposal… _No. I won't let another man take the woman I want for mine. Once had been enough._ All these thoughts fueled his anger and lust.

"You want to use another man's feelings for you to escape me then ?" he lashed out at her. "You know what kind of woman you are, Lorena ? A woman that takes advantage of a man with her sexual appeal is called a slut. That's what you just are ! Does Moody know that ? Does he know that you carry _my_ child ? That you enjoyed having sex with _me_ too ?"

Her face went deathly pallid, informing him that the ex-Auror did not know all of this. She lowered her face, tears escaping her eyes. Severus tossed the letter into the fireplace behind him, out of pure jealousy. With a flick of his wand, he started a fire. "I don't want to see this kind of letters addressed to you ever again ! You're mine !"

"Give me back that letter !"

"Too late, Lorena. It's burning into ashes, where it belongs. I've just told you that I don't want to see that kind of letters sent to you. It's not for you to keep them."

She gasped at the words. She swallowed hard, sadness on her features. "What kind of man are you ?"

"I'm a Death-Eater, you told me that enough," he replied scornfully. "Now, I think you need another lesson, as the first one did not sink in obviously." He released her from her magical bonds and dragged her to him. "You're mine and as you've been touched by another man, I need to reassert my possession of you." His dark gaze devoured her.

"No… please…" she began. "Don't hurt me, Professor…"

"There are many kinds of punishments. Some use pain, others involve pleasure. All require self-control." His voice was detached, cold and collected, like when he was lecturing his class. Yet it still have this richness, this softness that melt her to a puddle…

Lorena could not make head or tail of his words. "Please… don't hurt my baby…"

"You had to think of that before you went to Moody's quarters tonight." He dragged her closer to him. "I'll show you how I treat whores like you, Lorena. You're my whore, as you obviously chose this condition to be yours when dealing with me."

The words hurt her and made her angry. "I don't see what else I could be for you anyway," she said challengingly. "I don't qualify for being your wife, not even your girlfriend – obviously. You don't love me enough for that. You don't love me at all." She snorted. "I wonder who you could love anyway."

Her insolence angered him – and excited him too. Lorena had something Gryffindor that Severus enjoyed crushing. "You know, Lorena, I think that you've been sorted into the wrong House."

"So that you could dock points from, let's say, Gryffindor ?" she spat. "You should be happy that I'm in Slytherin, Professor. Otherwise, Professor McGonagall would have been told long ago about your behavior with me !"

She was right and Severus knew it. Being her Head of House was convenient. It granted him almost complete control over her life at school. She used to say she had been sorted into Slytherin because _she_ needed to be there. Now, it appears that it was because _he_ needed her to be there. "Yes, you're right, Lorena. As you're in Slytherin, your destiny rests in my hands. And so does your punishment for offenses such as… whoring around." _Literally…_

Saying so, Severus conjured up a blanket he spread on the hearth rug. The fire in the hearth was already blazing. With a _Disvesto_ spell, he undressed Lorena in a second. She shrieked, feeling her skin naked. She was at his mercy now. "No…" she whispered. She tried to run but he tied her ankles and her wrists again magically before she could even move. He threw her on the sofa

His attention was attracted by a glittering object hanging between her breasts. "I can see that you still wear the jewel I had entrusted to your care, Lorena. The Snape medallion. Remember what I had told you about it ? The woman that wears it is a Snape property. You wear it, you're mine !"

In the mean time, Severus had unbuttoned his frock coat and his waistcoat, to have better access to his trousers. He kept his black school robes on. He unzipped his trousers, still watching Lorena, now coiled on the sofa with fright written all over her face. He revelled in anticipation for what he planned to do to her.

"Now, for your punishment, Lorena. Something you should remember. Remember what I've told you too, should you go with another man ? _I'll take from you what is rightfully mine, to a point you won't even wish to have any other man touching you ! Not even Moody ! _I'm sure you remember ? We were nearby the lake, on the edge of the Forbidden Forest, just back from the Malfoys'." He watched carefully. She shivered at the memory. "I know what I'm going to do to you, Lorena, so that you won't go to another man. I didn't have the opportunity to do so then but I'll get my revenge now !"

Severus went to the young woman and sit nearby her. He plunged his hand at once between her legs. His other hand seized her mane of hair to compel her to offer him her face. He kissed her lips, plundering her mouth with a greedy kiss. She moaned out of protest, and even louder when she felt his thumb stroking her clit and two of his fingers entering her womanhood.

He stopped after long minutes spent like that. He released her magical bonds. "Please… Professor… don't…" she whispered. "Don't do that to me… please…"

"You liked it. And you'll like it even more. I won't torture you with pain but with pleasure." He spread her arms along the back of the sofa. Magical bonds tied her arms there. Lorena protested but she knew there was nothing she could do against Severus' magic.

He took her freed legs and spread them. He did not bind them though. Instead, he positioned himself in front of her, dragging her by the hips towards him. His burning hands roamed over her belly. "You'll like it, Lorena. I did that one day to a whore I had in Knockturn Alley. She had not wished to allow me more than I could afford then and I ended up getting what I wanted. You should like it. Oh, I was about to forget."

Severus searched his frock coat pockets. He got out a small vial. "I always carry this kind of things with me when patrolling the corridors." He touched her cheek with the vial, so that she could _feel_ what he was talking about. "Know what it is ?" he asked.

How could she ? She was blind and tied. Lorena preferred to remain silent.

"Veritaserum. Three drops of it and even the Dark Lord himself absorbing them will spill his deepest secrets at once. However… the use of it is – regrettably – forbidden on students. Though I could make an exception tonight. On you."

Lorena gasped in horror. She had already heard of Veritaserum and its effects. She feared first for her child. Severus reassured her that Veritaserum had no effect whatsoever on pregnancies. "But why would I need to drink that ? I'm already at your mercy, Professor !"

He smirked. "I want you to take some so that you may reply truthfully to my questions when I ask them, Lorena. You were not true to me lately. It may cast some doubts on your sincerity. Now with the potion." Saying so, he uncorked the vial and held her face, forcefully opening her mouth. Three drops fell on her tongue. He kept her mouth closed so that she may not reject the substance. She swallowed eventually. "Of course, with Veritaserum in your mouth, I won't kiss you, Lorena. You must have gathered that already. Well, I didn't kiss that Knockturn Alley whore either back then."

The allusion was scathing. He had just labeled her as a prostitute. That was what she would be for him tonight. Lorena felt abased, humiliated, she wanted to cry. She loved that man and all he did to her was considering her as a whore – just because she had needed a bit of love, and gotten it from a lovable soul. _What kind of man are you ?_

"We'll try a few questions first. "Who am I ?"

"Prof… Professor Severus Snape."

"Good. Who's your child's father ?"

"You are."

"Excellent. Whom did you have sex with earlier tonight ?"

"Professor… Alastor… Moody."

"Right. Now we can start our little pleasure torture session. Lorena, I'll give you pleasure, licking your clit and ramming my cock in you alternatively, but I'll stop each of them before, just before you reach orgasm. I'll ask you, and you'll tell only the truth. So that I can stop before making you come. I'll arouse you but won't satisfy you. Remember, you can't lie under the influence of Veritaserum."

Lorena felt worry mingled with disgust. Not that what he had never done to her what he just planned to do – they had already done so together and it had been pleasant. But she was well aware it would be a torture, to wish to come physically and be denied. Worst of all, the most hurting part would be for her to be considered as a sex toy for the man she still loved so deeply. _What kind of man are you ?_

Severus began to lick her womanhood, spreading her thighs apart. The sensation built up in her powerfully. Her hands, tied up to the sofa, began to grasp the back of it. Her breathing was labored, she felt so good. Why all the good lovemaking they could have together always involved some potions ? It was the thought that crossed her mind before she cried the beginning of her pleasure.

Severus felt she was about to come. He stopped and looked at her. "Now, Lorena, do you want more ?"

"Yes… please !"

"You want me to give you more ?"

"Yes, please, go on… oh, please…" she whispered.

He was on his knees now and he released his maleness. He was rock hard but a bit more pleasure from her would be a nice treat after all. With all the pain she could give him… Careful with her belly, he positioned his cock in front of her mouth. "Now, Lorena, you'll take me into your mouth. Have you ever done this before ?"

"Yes…"

"With whom ? Who showed you ?"

"Alastor… Moody…"

"Oh, you gave that pleasure to Moody ? He showed you… I would have loved to show you first myself. Well, then… let's see if you've been trained to good standards. I'm very demanding." He put his maleness into her mouth, gently, as her hands were not available. It was pleasurable indeed. The young woman's mouth was as pleasurable as her womanhood. "He taught you well, Lorena…" Severus whispered when retreating from her mouth a few minutes later.

He lowered himself down to her womanhood and entered her. She was wet, warm and welcoming. He grunted out of pleasure, like every time he took her. He could not bear the notion that another man could enjoy her, be him Alastor Moody, Draco Malfoy (not that she had had any sex with him so far – but he would not take any chances she might) or any other man. Including the Dark Lord. Yes, even his own Master.

He rammed his cock in her, kissing her neck, teasing her nipples with his tongue, but carefully avoiding her mouth. Soon, she began to cry out of pleasure, as her orgasm built up.

"Do you love it, what I'm doing to you ?"

"Yes…"

"Do you wish me to continue ?"

"Oh, please, don't stop !"

"Are you about to come ?"

"Yes ! Oh, please… keep it like this… please !"

"No, Lorena, I won't." Still very much in control of himself, Severus removed himself from her, his head moving down towards her thighs and her wetness in between. She grunted with frustration. "Disappointed, Lorena ?"

"Yes… so much…" she said softly, still obeying the Veritaserum.

Severus smirked at her. "Good. That torture using pleasure is most delightful to me. And I'm sure it is to you too. Am I right, Lorena ?" He was still as controlled as ever, though his pleasure was wonderful. He loved _using_ her to _pleasure_ her actually.

"Yes… Professor..."

Again, he repeated his ministrations on her, using his lips, tongue, and fingers to pleasure her, while backing off at the very last second, leaving her dissatisfied. "Now you can feel what it is to be denied, Lorena."

_So that's the all purpose of it_, she thought. _To show me how he feels when I refuse myself to him while all he wants is to…_

"How good it is to fuck you, Lorena," he interrupted her in her train of thoughts, almost on cue, while he was ramming in her.

He did that to her another five or six times each, up to the moment when he could not hold it any longer. He gave Lorena another dose of Veritaserum as the effect was thinning off. This time, as he was less and less in control of himself, he poured a larger dose of it in her mouth instead of just three drops.

"Do you want more pleasure, Lorena ?"

"Yes, please !"

"We'll seen then. Before that, tell me, Lorena, are you my… whore ?"

She stopped. Her hands were still tied up, so she could not either slap him or caress his face. "No, Severus… I'm no whore. I just… love you." She had a sad look on her face. That was not the answer he was expecting. Nor the answer that would have pleased him. Yet, he knew she spoke the truth. He felt troubled. "I love you, Severus," she repeated. _What kind of man are you ?_

The seriousness and the truthfulness of her answer – due to the Veritaserum – moved him more than ever. She could not lie this time, if she had ever done so before for that matter. So Severus stopped his game, he untied her from the sofa and brought her to the blanket nearby the fireplace. He rekindled the fire ablaze there, while at the same time, desire set him ablaze definitively.

Severus took her, decided to satisfy himself with her this time. He had played enough with her. He wanted to have his own pleasure from her now. Lorena braced herself for the final assault. However, she welcomed him, hoping he would satisfy her completely this time. He entered her with haste, so much he needed release within her. She moaned her pleasure loudly, followed by him in their sacred chant of sexual bliss, together in rhythm.

At one moment, Lorena dragged his head towards hers. She hoped to kiss him. After all, he may let himself loose for once. Actually, he only lost control over himself when making love with Lorena. Even when he had sex with other women, he kept himself in check. That was even more true when he was with prostitutes – one was never too prudent. There had been a long time between Lorena and the last woman he had had before her. That last woman he had bought in a brothel in Knockturn Alley on a warm Summer night...

But with Lorena, Severus could let loose. He could be himself. He knew she would not hurt him, she would not take advantage of him, despite her being a Slytherin, despite her powerful magic. She loved him too much for that. She dragged him to her for a kiss. He realized what that could imply if her tongue inserted itself between his lips, his teeth, to meet his tongue for an amorous duet. It would allow thus the passing of the Veritaserum from her to him. He could not and would not allow this to happen.

Severus turned his head away from her to avoid the kiss. Her kiss landed on his cheek. He straightened up his arms to further his face away from hers. He thrust deeper and faster in her, speeding his own pleasure to come. Lorena understood that he would not give in. She moaned, pleading for a bit of tenderness from him, grasping his back with her hands, but he would not move in this regard. _What kind of man are you ?_

Lorena felt her heart bursting with sadness in the middle of pleasure. This was no love at all. Making her feel sad in pleasure was just torture, a real torture. Severus had been much more loving in the cave. This time was over. This was just lust. The effect of the Veritaserum was thinning off but she still wanted to tell him she loved him, with every fiber of her being. That was the truth and she needed no Veritaserum to express it. Yet, seeing his present behavior with her, she decided against. She let him take her and have his pleasure from her.

Each time Severus thrust in her, he would tell her dirty, filthy words, reminding her how good a whore she was, how good sex was with her, that she belonged to him, a possession he did not share, up to the moment when his pleasure became too much unbearable to be contained and controlled.

He lowered his head to her neck, his lips meeting her skin there. A few seconds later, she felt a searing pain there, quickly followed by the feel of his warm tongue licking her there. He had bitten her again. The love-bite must have triggered off his orgasm somehow as he expelled his seed in her in several deep thrusts. He moaned, groaned and grunted loudly, blinded by the flash of climax that consumed up to his very soul. Lorena did not even reacted, her heart heavy with sadness. She loved him, he used her.

Once he was satisfied with her, Severus got to his feet and tidied himself up. He rekindled the fire nearby. Lorena was now sitting on the rug, a hand on her neck where he had bitten her, her empty pale gray gaze lost in the void, utter sadness on her features. He had not raped her but he had not been tender and loving either. He had possessed her selfishly and she felt like a whore. Abased and humiliated. _What kind of man are you ?_

"Now, I hope the lesson had sunk in, Lorena. I tell you again : every time you go and see another man than me, I'll treat you like I just did. You've been warned. You're mine and solely mine ! I do not share. Is that clear ?"

As she did not reply quickly enough, he dragged her to him, compelling her to stand up. She shivered out of cold. He felt it and wrapped her between his arms, his black robes around her. "Is that clear to you now that you're mine ?" he repeated with his soft yet dangerous voice.

She nodded weakly. _It's clear I'm just your toy, a thing you can use for your own pleasure, _she thought bitterly. More than ever, she did not wish to end up with him, despite her love for him. _What kind of man are you, Severus ?_

He led her back to her bed, where he left her. He warded the dorm main door so that she could not sneak out of the Slytherin area. But all Lorena wanted to do was to crawl into bed and forget every thing around her. She wanted to forget Severus, her love for him, his use of her. She just wanted to sink in sleep, to be free of all this for a few hours, in an oblivion that only sleep or death could bring.

It was almost three o'clock in the morning. Severus had wanted to spend the evening in Spinner's End, hoping to put Lorena back into his bed. But all in all, the change of plans had been good to him in this regard. He had even managed to fulfill one of his fantasies : to have sex with her in her dorm. It even crossed his mind that he would have to thank Alastor Moody after all. Thinking of the ex-Auror, an evil grin remained on his lips as he left the dorm back to his own quarters.

* * *

**"What Kind Of Man Are You ?"**_** is a song by Ray Charles, sung by his chorists. I love that song, I think its lyrics are appropriate here. What kind of man are you, Severus ? Fulfilling your revenge on Lorena in a very Slytherin fashion...**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	77. As if I had always known this

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**7****7 – As if I had always known this**

Lorena did not fall asleep at once, despite the sex she had had that night, first with Alastor, then with Severus. Thinking about it, maybe the Potions Master was right : she had had sex with two men in the same night, she was just a slut, a whore after all. Alone with a child, out of wedlock, she would just finish like that. Like one of the whores working in Knockturn Alley, that Severus seemed to know so well. Maybe he would end up being one of her clients… Her imagination threatened to bring her beyond the limits set by her reason. Her reason took over eventually. Not sure that Severus would let her go down like this. He was so possessive ! He told her that enough, that she was his ! He had even marked her twice with his teeth. If she had to become a whore, she would be his and his only.

Thing was, she did not wish to become a whore, not even one man's personal whore. She wanted to love and be loved.

Besides, there was the matter of the Unbreakable Vow : he had pledged with his life he would marry her – to avoid her that same fate. Marriage… with a man that would treat her like a whore… _Oh, what a fate…_ She cried silently and eventually fell asleep.

* * *

On the day after, Lorena woke up. The first memory that came back to her was the pleasure she had had got from two men. Alastor's tenderness. Severus' possessiveness. Then, as suddenly, melancholy took over her soul. She had gone to Alastor Moody's quarters for a bit of love and caring, before leaving and being caught in the corridors by Severus. The Potions Master had dragged her back to her dorm and there…

There, he had used her. He had punished her for a crime, the crime of love, of being wanted and loved for what she was by another man. He had used her for his own selfish purposes of humiliating her with his words and deeds, while claiming her as his through and through.

Lorena remained in bed, thinking about all this. She did not wish to get up. She wanted to go back to sleep, even if she was not in need of sleep. She just wanted to forget about all this.

She stayed like this for long minutes, thinking about what she was to do with both Severus and Alastor. Would she go on with Alastor, thus taking the risk of being further humiliated by Severus if he caught her again ? The matter needed to be given consideration for sure. Would she go on with Severus, after the way he had treated her ? No. She was sure of that. Slowly, she made her decision, pondering all the pros and cons. No, she would not let him use her like this again. It was over with him. Yes, she would tell him so. No matter how angry he may be. She did not care. It was over, definitively between them two. That way, she would be free to see Alastor if she wanted to. Last but not least, she could not marry a man that despised her so much, like he had had the night before.

Still, there was the Unbreakable Vow… And the child.

Lorena sighed. Suddenly, she had an inspiration : The Vow compelled Severus Snape to marry her. But it did not bind _her_ to marry him. He was the one bonded by the Vow, not she. Maybe the Vow took into account the fact that the man would not take his responsibilities. Maybe the Vow had taken into account that she would wish for marriage and not the man. Maybe, if she was _the one_ to decide on this matter – deciding not to marry – that would render the Vow ineffective. _Maybe…_ That was worth considering.

This positive line of thought made her feel better and she got up to get prepared. She went to the lavatory, behind which there was the enchanted mirror set up for her use. She was combing her hair when the magical implement began to talk.

"Dear Lorena, you seem to have had an enjoyable night. Why so much sadness on your face ?"

Lorena was taken aback. "Enjoyable ? Sadness ?" Well, it summed up her night quite nice. "If you say so…" She did not wish to talk more about the night. That was private and she felt bad enough about it. Silently, she took her towel and went to the shower stall. The warm water did her some good. Her hand roamed over her belly, as she felt her baby move inside her womb.

She thought about the little boy. Her Alan. _My son._ No, she would not let him grow up with a man like Severus as his father – even if he was his biological father. No way. She would not let her little Alan become like his father, a brutal, vicious man, most likely a Death-Eater afterwards. Alastor Moody would make a far better father in her opinion.

Her decision was taken. She would just flee Hogwarts. She was aware that things would not be that easy, being young, blind and alone. But after all, she could go back to the Muggle world, where unwed mothers were not frowned upon. She would receive some help, just a jumpstart, so that she could settle in life and get lost for the magical world. Maybe she could see Alastor Moody after having fled, discreetly first.

Lorena thought about her grandmother. The old woman had done the same in her youth : apparently escaping a past she did not want anymore, getting married and having kids. She could do the same thing indeed. Save that her grandmother had not been blind, she had not been pregnant nor had a child in tow. Most of all, her grandmother had not had the three most powerful wizards of her time on her trail.

The young witch did not stop to these considerations. She had the good example of her grandmother that had cut off all bridges with her past and her world. Why couldn't she do the same after all ?

She was there in her thoughts when she heard some noise in the dorm. She remembered suddenly that she had left her wand on her night stand. She sighed, thinking that she relied probably too much on her wandless magical abilities to save her from a sticky situation. Besides, Hogwarts was the safest place ever. Well, was it ?

She went out of the bedroom. "Who's there ?" she asked.

"Just me, Lorena," said the deep, silky voice of the Potions Master. "I've come and fetch you. The Headmaster's waiting for us. He wants to see us. Are you ready ?"

_To see us ?_ _What for ?_ Lorena felt a weird weight on her stomach suddenly. "Allow me a minute or two, _Professor_." She had reverted to his title, feeling the need to put some distance between them two after last night's events.

Severus perceived it too. He said nothing. He saw her sitting on her bed, putting on her shoes. He watched her, admiring how precise her gestures were, despite her blindness. She was doing things, her eyes trained in front of her, not looking at what she was doing, which always seemed strange for someone that did not look blind at first sight.

"Did you have something to eat ?" he asked, trying to ease up the tension between them two.

"Yes, I did. A house elf brought me something," she lied. Lorena was not hungry and she did not wish to be force-fed – above all not by the Potions Master. Her definitive, decided tone showed him that he'd better not insist. She had also Occluded her mind, in case he would just be too much curious.

Once she was ready, Severus went to her and took her elbow to guide her, as he usually did. Lorena said nothing but it annoyed her. After what had happened the night before, she did not wish him to touch her anymore. Yet, she knew how to be patient. Erelong, she would not need to bear his presence. Erelong, she would be gone.

* * *

They both arrived to the Headmaster's office. Minerva was there and she came to Lorena's side, leading her to the seat prepared for her. Severus felt resentful : this was his part to lead the young witch. His young witch. But was she still his ? They had not exchanged a single word on their way to Dumbledore's office. Lorena had let Minerva take her arm, without even so much as a word or a gesture for him.

Lorena sat down, facing the Headmaster. Minerva was sitting beside her. Severus was standing close behind Lorena, as if he had wanted to put his hands on her shoulders in support.

"Lorena, we are here together because we found information about your grandmother. I asked Professor McGonagall to be present as she's our Deputy Headmistress." He took a short breath. He decided to go straight to the point. "Lorena, you provided us with your grandmother's maiden name. Do you remember her first name ?"

"Well, she went by the name of Cassie. I never called her like that, she was my grandmother. For me, she was 'Grandma'. But I remember her friends and neighbors calling her 'Cassie'. My mother used to call her 'Cassie Mum'. My father just called her 'Mum'. My grandfather called his wife 'Cassie'. I don't know any other name. Maybe it's short for… 'Cassandra' ? I don't know."

"Lorena, seems your grandmother held many a secret. Not only to you but also to the rest of your family. You lived with her. Do you remember anything… particular… odd, about her ?"

Lorena frowned. "Odd ? What do you mean ?" The pit on her stomach grew bigger – despite the place occupied there by her child.

"Did she have any talents that other women of her age and background had not ? Or should not have had ?"

Lorena lowered her eyes, in reflection. "She could talk with creatures. She taught it to my father and to me. She… could heal people using stuff she brewed in her kitchen." Her conversation with her father came back to her. "We lived in a poor area. People did not always have enough money to go to the doctor. They went to my grandma instead. Especially women with child. I was too young to understand then but my last conversation with my father confirmed what maturity made me gather. She helped women to deliver their babies, going to their houses. She… received some women at home and gave them stuff to…" She realized suddenly. "Stuff to stop unwanted pregnancies." Her eyes blinked. "I remember once, one Summer, I was already enrolled here. One young woman came to see her with her mother. She was desperate. My grandmother gave her something to drink. When I asked my grandmother about it, once the women were gone, she told me that she would explain to me all in due time, that I was still too young to understand. She died before that time… She…"

Suddenly, Lorena put her hand on her mouth. "Oh Merlin… Her healing abilities… the stuff she brewed… the creature language…" The truth dawned on her. "My grandmother… she was a witch, wasn't she ?"

Dumbledore had a compassionate gaze for her. "Yes, Lorena. Your grandmother was a witch indeed. And no, her first name was not Cassandra. She was called Cassiope. Cassiope Gaunt."

Minerva and Albus were looking at the young woman, in search of any sign indicating she was upset or whatever. Her gaze had something glazed, almost dreamy. "It's strange… It's as if… as if I had always… known all this."

She remained silent, letting the matter sinking in. She felt Severus' hands on her shoulders, in a comforting gesture. Out of reflex, she put a hand on his, acknowledging his move by grasping his hand lightly. "How did you know ? I mean, about her first name ? Tell me, Headmaster, tell me more about her. Please."

"First I should explain something to you, Lorena," Albus went on. "Have you ever wondered how we know to whom we should send these letters of invitation to attend Hogwarts ?"

"The letters to the first-year students ?"

"Yes."

She shook her head. "No, sir."

"There's a magical quill, bewitched to detect any magical birth. When your son is born, the quill shall register his birth. Provided he's magical, which is most likely to happen, given his parentage. Eleven years after a birth occurring before the cut off date of August 31st, boys and girls receive their letters of invitation to attend. Like you did. Save that you received it the year after as your birthday occurs after that date. So there's a list in our records of all the magical births. It's archived according to the year of birth." He paused, checking if Lorena was following his explanations. "I checked for the year '1920', your grandmother's year of birth. I found something indeed." Another pause. "Your grandmother's born on May 1st, 1920. So she received her letter of invitation to attend Hogwarts during Summer 1931. She attended Hogwarts and got her diploma in June 1938. Of course, she's recorded here under her maiden name, 'Gaunt'. We found a Cassiope Gaunt that matched that family name and date of birth."

"If you say so, Professor."

"I don't. The magical quill does. Cassiope Gaunt, born on May 1st, 1920…"

"Beltaine. She was born on Beltaine," Lorena said suddenly. "Sorry, Professor."

"That's true. There's something else that the magical quill detects too. The blood-status. She was a pure-blood witch. You're not a Muggle-born, Lorena. Not with an ancestor coming from a pure-blood family. Therefore you enter into the category of 'half-bloods'. Like Severus here."

Lorena reacted. She was clearly surprised. "Me ? A half-blood ?" She was so much used to be called a Muggle-born – and even a Mudblood, in the Slytherin common room. She did not care. She had always been blood-blind, so to speak.

"Yes. Your ancestry should explain things like your ability to speak Parseltongue. In fact, that's what prompted me to dig further into your family history in the first place. Hence my question about your grandmother's maiden name, you remember ? You came back to me not only with her maiden name but also her year of birth. This had been most helpful. Now, Lorena, I would need other information, more complete information about your grandmother's family. Your family."

"Like what ?"

"You talked about your father, but what about other siblings of his ? What about your grandfather ?"

Lorena frowned. "Did your records find out about other Nottinghams ?" The office was silent. Lorena felt she had hit a nerve. "Am I the only magical child in that family ?"

"As long as I don't have the year of birth for any other members, I can't tell. Our records are sorted by years of birth."

"I see. No, I have no other information so far…" She stopped in her tracks. "The graveyard. I don't recall all the information but the family plot… it should be written there. They are all there. I remember…" She fell silent, her gaze again lost in the void but this time, they seemed watery. "There were things that we never talked about. People we never talked about because I knew… it upset my grandmother." She seemed to make a tremendous effort to remember. "I need to go to the graveyard."

She felt a pressure on her shoulders, from two strong hands. Curiously, she felt a tickling sensation on her Love-Snakes ring. "I will go with Miss Nottingham, of course," Severus said.

"That would be great indeed. Lorena, Severus will go with you there to collect these information as you cannot Apparate on your own."

That prospect did not please her but she hid it carefully. Besides, that family history began to sound really interesting.

"There's her house in the vicinity too. My grandmother's house. I think… there might be some interesting stuff in there. I haven't come back since…" _Since her burial._ "Since she had died." There was an unmistakable sadness in her voice.

"If you are comfortable with that idea, Lorena, go ahead. Severus will be with you, you have nothing to fear."

"I shall not be afraid in my grandmother's house," she replied firmly, almost defiantly.

"Good. That's settled. Minerva, could you guide Lorena out. I need to speak with Severus. Alone."

The Transfiguration professor agreed. She put a hand on the young woman's arm to lead her outside the office. Lorena was standing up when she felt dizzy suddenly. Severus' arms caught her before she could hurt herself.

Everything went numb around her. A few minutes later, she came back to her senses. She was lying on a couch, a rich, deep voice muttering incantations. She recognized Severus' voice.

"Did she have breakfast this morning ?" asked a female voice Lorena recognized for belonging to Minerva McGonagall. "Severus ?"

"Miss Nottingham, could you reply to Professor McGonagall ?"

Lorena's empty pale gray eyes were wide open now. "No…" she slurred.

"You had told me you did," Severus said softly. Yet, the anger in his collected voice was unmistakable.

"I wasn't hungry, sir." He perceived the sadness in her tone. He gathered that she had been upset with the previous night's events. He deemed wiser not to insist.

"You won't leave this office without eating something, Lorena," said the calm voice belonging to Dumbledore. He warmed up some tea from a kettle nearby while Minerva retrieved a box of scones hidden in one of the Headmaster's cabinets.

Severus helped Lorena to sit up. His arms around her waist were warm and strong. Suddenly, the young woman wished she remained in his arms for the rest of the day. The tickling sensation on her Love-Snakes ring was strong but pleasant.

Minerva held her out a small plate of scones while Albus handed her a cup of tea. "Drink and eat," he said. "You shall not go out with an empty stomach." He turned towards Severus. "I need to talk to you, my boy. We'll leave the ladies here."

Severus followed the Headmaster to the other office. But just before the two men left, she turned towards the Headmaster. "Professor Dumbledore ?"

"Yes ?"

"Do you know… if my grandmother attended Hogwarts, where… where had she been sorted, I mean, into which House ?"

Dumbledore smiled. "I wondered whether you'd ask me that question. She had been sorted into Slytherin."

The young woman smiled. "That may explain certain things indeed then." Though she was still persuaded that the Sorting Hat had placed her in Slytherin because she _needed_ to be there. Not because of family tradition or whatever else.

"So, Albus, what do you want to talk to me about ? Something about the Order ?" Severus asked once he was sure they were out of earshot.

"No, my boy. Something about Lorena. About her family. When you go to her grandmother's house, please be careful. Check out first if there are any remains of Dark magic inside."

Severus scowled. "What do you mean ? Why would there be Dark magic in a Muggle house ?"

"That's something I cannot tell you for the time being. Just pay attention to that detail."

"Do you suspect anything ? You do in fact."

"I do. But I cannot impart that knowledge with you yet. I need to have these information first to confirm a suspicion I have."

Severus looked angry. "You don't trust me ! You trust me to take care of a girl or to check Muggle houses for Dark magic, but you don't trust me for anything else !"

"No, Severus, you're unfair. You know that I trust you for much more than that. Spying on Voldemort is a job I would not entrust to anyone else but you. As for Dark magic, you're my best expert on the subject. One of the best around. Last but not least, I cannot take the risk of Lorena learning from your mind details that I do not wish her to know now. She's a contact telepath."

"I'm an Occlumens."

"I know that. And a highly-skilled one. However, I wish her to know the truth in due time. As for you, I don't want you to be influenced in your search. You'll learn it once my suspicions about her family are confirmed. After that, you couldn't say any longer that I don't trust you."

With these words, the Headmaster dismissed his Potions Master. Severus knew that he would not get anything any more and he left the office.

* * *

Lorena felt better, waiting for him with Minerva McGonagall in the office. She had not been very happy to know that Severus would come with her to her grandmother's house. She had planned to prepare her escape. All this would delay her departure. Yet, she could not afford to refuse to help the Headmaster in this matter – it would look suspicious. Besides, her curiosity was aroused. She wanted to _know_.

Both women were chatting about Lorena's pregnancy. "Ah, Severus !" Minerva helped Lorena to stand up from the couch to meet the Potions Master.

"We have to leave, Miss Nottingham. The Headmaster wishes to have these information as quickly as possible," he said with a very formal tone.

Lorena lowered her face in submission. "Certainly, Professor."

Severus grabbed her elbow without any other explanation to his colleague. They left for the dungeons. "We'll Apparate from my quarters," he whispered to her.

Once there, he closed the door and cast a silencing spell over the room. "Do you know a place nearby your grandmother's house or the graveyard, where we can Apparate safely and unseen ?"

Lorena took a moment to think. She seemed to make a tremendous effort to figure the place. "The graveyard's just besides the church. There's the forest nearby. It's not far from my grandmother's house. From the graveyard, we may go to her house by foot."

"Good. We'll try the forest. Please just show me in your memories how the place looks like, as I don't know it."

"You may proceed with Legilimency, Professor," she said softly. "Please… be gentle…"

"I will," he said while cupping her face into his powerful hands. His dark gaze peered at her empty pale gray eyes and he entered her mind, as gently as he had promised. She opposed no resistance and offered him the images he needed to see. After a few seconds of perusal, he left her mind. "That should be enough, thank you."

"The name of the place is… Upper Stratton. South of Nottingham. The church is called St. Michael."

"Let's get your cloak so that we may go now," Severus instructed her.

She nodded and they went out of his quarters, back to the Slytherin dorms. Once there, she checked her dress with the enchanted mirror, put on her cloak and checked she had her wand slid in her right sleeve. "I'm ready, Professor."

He took her elbow and they were off to his quarters for Apparition. Once there, he took her between his arms. "Make telepathic contact with me, project the images of your memories in my mind so that I can have a better sight of the place where we're supposed to Apparate. I have an idea but with your memories in my mind, it will make Apparating more effective."

Lorena agreed in a nod. She put both hands on his temples and entered his mind gently, projecting the images of the tract of forest nearby the church. In a second, they were gone.

* * *

_**Looks like Lorena has learned more about her ancestry. **_

_**Why does Dumbledore want Severus to check for Dark stuff in a Muggle house ?**_

_**Names of lo**__**cations are fictitious. **_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	78. Back to the past

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**7****8 – Back to the past**

They Apparated a few seconds later in a forest. Severus scanned the place around and found out they had arrived to the correct destination. There was nobody around. In the distance, a church bell rang twelve times. It was noon.

"This is the bell of St. Michael. I can recognize it," Lorena said softly. "This way," she showed with a wave of her hand, obviously guided by the sound.

They went there. Soon, Severus spotted the church and the little graveyard beside. He had his hand on her elbow, as he usually did when guiding in her in the castle. This way, they would not appear too much intimate with each other in other people's eyes.

Severus opened the graveyard's gate. "Miss Nottingham, do you remember where your family plot is located ?"

She seemed to make an effort to remember. "On the right side, when entering the graveyard."

They walked in silence. Severus checked the stones, searching for a grave bearing the Nottingham name. Lorena had explained to him that the plot was made up of a red-brownish granite, with the names and dates carved on it in white.

They found it eventually. Lorena left Severus' arm, lowered herself down so that she could touch the granite, her hands feeling the stone. Once she had found the stone bearing the names, she sat on the horizontal slab of granite. Severus did the same, on the other side, curious to read the names too. "Are we alone, Professor ?"

"Yes, we are."

Lorena took out her wand. She muttered a few incantations over the stone and soon, a glass vase with roses appeared, conjured up out of air. She placed them on the slab. She put her wand back into her sleeve. "My grandmother and my mother used to love roses." Her fingers found the carvings on the stone.

"Peter Lord Nottingham." _Beloved Husband_ could be read under. "My grandfather." The man was born in 1915. He had died in 1982. "He was 66. Not that much old but I guess that working in factories around had got the best of him. I was 8 when he died but I remember him quite well."

"Was he a Muggle ?"

"Yes. Then my grandmother. Strange, you can read they did not mention her full name. Just 'Cassie Nottingham'. Not 'Cassiope'. Not even her maiden name. _Beloved Mother & Grandmother._ Born in 1920. Died in 1990. I was about to enter my fifth year. She died before my sixteenth birthday. I started Hogwarts with one year late, due to the cut off date of August 31st. I'm born on September 9th, so I was 12 when I started my first year actually."

"It happens to some students indeed." He paused. "There are other names. Who are they ?" Severus asked. He could see three other names carved on the stone.

"Elizabeth Lady Nottingham, 1945-1956. William Lord Nottingham, 1947-1958. My father's older siblings. My father's born in 1949."

Something looked weird to Severus. He found out quickly. He was so absorbed by his discovery that he forgot all formalism. "Lorena, do you realize that these two kids died aged… eleven ?" He had a bad feeling.

"Yes, I know that." Her reply showed him she had not made any connection. Severus kept his suspicions for himself. "We never spoke about them at home. It made my grandmother really upset. They were her first two kids. Strangely enough, my father survived."

"Do you know how they died ?"

"No. That wasn't a topic we discussed at home. Even my parents did not talk about it. My father had been quite upset too by the loss of his siblings. All families have things they never talk about. In our family, this was one. Along with my grandmother's relatives."

Severus could relate to that. There were things he never wanted to discuss about with other people. Things he kept deep inside of him, in the darkest recesses of his soul. Family was one of these things.

Her fingers trailed on the last name listed below the other names. "Fiona Nottingham, née Campbell. 1951-1984." _Beloved Wife & Mother_ was written under her name. "Her death devastated my father. He was a wreck, fortunately, my grandmother was a strong woman. She was very much affected by the loss of her daughter-in-law but she remained strong. She considered my mother like her own daughter. She asked my father to come and live with her, so that we could be all three together. She was alone, I guess it felt good to stick together in such times. She loved my mother and my mother loved her much too."

Lorena wiped a tear from her cheek. "It's incredible, the kin we lost in a few years' time. My grandfather in 1982. My mother two years later. My grandmother in 1990. I think it drove my father a bit apart. He began to have run-ins with the law shortly after my mother's demise. I always suspected that… that my mother and his mother were the only two strong females able to keep him in check. Now they're gone and he's rotting in jail." She sighed deeply, sadness on her features.

"Was your mother a Muggle too ?"

"Yes… I can hear someone's coming, Professor." She helped herself standing up, leaning on the stone. She quickly arranged her cloak around her so that nobody could see her pregnant belly.

The gate could not be seen from the grave but Lorena had heard the gates open and steps shuffling on the gravel. In the distance, two female voices could be heard talking.

Severus came to Lorena's side, just in case. He highly doubted that Death-Eaters had followed them here but he preferred to be ready to shield Lorena with his own body if needed.

"It's okay, Professor, I know these voices," Lorena whispered to him.

"I'm always amazed by your acute hearing, Miss Nottingham."

"Let's say it's a survival skill," she said half-mockingly, half-seriously.

She smirked back at him before turning her head towards the two women coming to them. Severus felt a sudden, powerful urge to kiss her. But his composure remained unreadable, showing none of his emotions.

The two women coming towards them were rather old ladies. They stopped by them when Lorena greeted them. "Mrs Catherine Bartlett ? Mrs Lucy Rider ?"

There was a moment of silence before one of the ladies burst into exclamations. "Lorena Nottingham ? Cassie's granddaughter ?" said one of them.

"Yes, that's me. How are you ?"

"Oh my, blimey ! I haven't recognized you first, you know. Lucy, you do remember Cassie's granddaughter, don't you ?"

"Of course I do, oh, that's lovely to see you, Lorena," the other lady, Lucy, said kindly.

"And who is the gentleman with you, Lorena ?" asked Mrs Bartlett.

"Oh, one of my teachers at the boarding school where I am currently enrolled. He kindly agreed to accompany me here…"

Before she could go further, Severus introduced himself. "Professor Prince," he said with a polite nod. If Lorena was surprised, she did not show it. She had perceived his need for discretion and said nothing.

"Professor, this is Mrs Lucy Rider and Mrs Catherine Bartlett. They were close friends of my grandmother." This was a hint and he took it as such, following her idea.

"We also happen to live in the same street. Lucy's house's opposite Cassie's while mine's just next door," Mrs Bartlett explained.

"Oh, Lorena, we learned about what had happened to you. Your becoming blind. So sad, so sad."

"How did you know ?" the young woman asked.

"Your father wrote to me from his jail, you know. He had written to me about the house keys, he had my address. Well, not very difficult, one street number different from his mother's. He wanted me to know about this situation, in case you'd come back to Cassie's old place. You should have contacted me before, child."

"My father didn't mention that to me, I must reckon."

"Oh these artists, always so _moony_ !" Mrs Rider said with a little giggle.

The adjective made Severus cringe inside… He hoped that Lorena's father was not like one of his former classmates.

"How's your father by the way ? Still in jail ?"

"Yes, Mrs Bartlett. I saw him recently. He's fine. He may have a parole but his case has to be examined first and that's not easily granted."

"Such a fine musician," Mrs Rider whined. "Such a shame. Such a waste of talent."

"So you've come back to see our good ol' Cassie's place ?" Mrs Bartlett asked.

"Yes," Lorena said. "I also hoped to get inside the house. I would have come to your house, Mrs Bartlett. I indeed remember that you have the keys. Do you know if it's possible for us to get them so that we can enter ?" At this point, Lorena was careful not to say too much.

"Sure thing, girl. In fact, I have two sets of keys. One Cassie had given to me when she was still alive, long ago, just in case. She had mine too, for the same reason. Your father had given mine back to me after his mother's demise. I have also his own set of keys. He had preferred to send them to me instead of keeping them with him in jail. He was concerned they may get lost or stolen or whatever. If you wish, I can give you that spare set."

"Oh, that's a good idea indeed. I'm a far better keeper than my father. But please I'd feel better if you could keep one set with you. Just in case."

"I will. If you don't mind, we'll spend a bit of time here with Lucy, and then we'll come back home. You may come back with us then, if you don't mind. If your professor here doesn't mind either."

"No, that's fine, madam," Severus said politely.

"Alright, you'll follow us. We'll stay here about ten-fifteen minutes. Is that fine with you ?"

Lorena and Severus agreed. Both women went their way towards their own family plots in the graveyard. Severus spotted a bench nearby and they sat there. They remained silent for long minutes. Lorena was lost in her memories of her family and Severus respected that.

"I've known these two ladies for a very long time," she said eventually. "Most of my life, I should say. They were my grandmother's closest friends. You noticed they call her 'Cassie'." She paused a moment before resuming her story. "They had their fair share of trials and tribulations too. They're both widows and one has lost a son while the other could never bring a pregnancy to its term when she had always wanted to have kids." She sighed.

"Your grandmother had her fair share too, thinking of it," Severus said. "She lost two kids, her husband, her daughter-in-law, her son's in jail, you're blind."

"Well, the last event occurred after she died, so she didn't suffer from it really. I think that severing all ties with her world, I mean her pureblood wizarding family, must have been a really difficult and painful choice to make. A courageous choice indeed. I really wonder why she had to do this."

"Marrying a Muggle is more than frowned upon in some pureblood families, you know." He thought about his own mother, Eileen Prince.

"Strange, but I was rather under the impression that her choice to marry a Muggle had been a _consequence_ of her escaping her family rather than a _cause_."

At this stage, Severus was persuaded that Dumbledore knew the real reason behind Cassiope Gaunt's disappearance from the wizarding world. He had to admit that Lorena's impression made sense too. _Then, why would Cassiope Gaunt have fled ?_

"Do you think that your grandmother's house may provide us with more answers ?"

Lorena pondered his words. "I don't know. I just know that we ought to get there and have a look. A strong gut feeling." A pause. "Professor, just one question. Why did you give a fake name when introducing yourself to these ladies ?"

"This is not a fake name. 'Prince' was my mother's maiden name. In case someone comes here to ask questions to them, they won't discover my true identity."

"But whom do you think would do such a thing ? And for what purpose ?"

"Just a strong gut feeling, Miss Nottingham." He had sent her back her former reply.

Lorena nodded. She decided to change subject. She had told a lot about herself and her own kin. Yet, she realized she knew very little about him and his family. "Tell me, Professor Dumbledore said you're a half-blood, like me. Who was…"

"The Muggle in my parents ?" Severus ended for her. He had learned a lot about her family in a few minutes. He was aware she knew very little about him. He decided to reply her questions, as much and as honestly as possible, though he did not like the subject. "My father was a Muggle. My mother was a pure-blood witch. The Prince family is an old wizarding family in Britain. I don't know much my maternal grandparents and relatives. I suppose they did not wish to know the… product of that… union," he said with a mix of disgust and self-loathing in his voice. Lorena was surprised : he was talking about himself after all. "As I told you, marriages with Muggles are frown upon in some pureblood families." He paused. "They are both dead now. I was their only child. There's nobody else in terms of lineage."

"Except your son."

He glanced at her. "Yes, you're right. Except my son. My unborn son." _And you, Lorena._ He had insisted on that detail, to show how things were frail. An unborn child could be lost and this one was supposed to be sacrificed. Severus remembered the terms of the Unbreakable Vow. Dumbledore had been clear and had left him enough room to maneuver so that Voldemort never gain extra powers through her or the child. Severus had deflowered the young woman, thwarting the Dark Lord's first plan with her. He had also gathered that to prevent his Master from gaining even more power, he would be allowed to kill the baby. His own son. He knew he would do it. He hoped that this would not happen. He had grown to care for the unborn boy after all.

"Oh, the ladies are back," she said while turning her head towards the sound of steps on the gravel. Severus and Lorena rose to their feet. The two old ladies went to them and suggested they should follow them home. The two old ladies continued to chat together on their way home. They had guessed that Lorena and her professor wanted to be left alone, as they lagged behind.

They got closer to the houses of the two ladies and of the Nottinghams. Lucy Rider bid goodbye to her friend, to Lorena and her professor. She crossed the street as her house was opposite. Mrs Bartlett invited the pair to come in for a cup of tea. It was cold outside and they accepted gladly. She would give them the keys too.

The area was made up of modest red-brick houses. The whole neighborhood reminded Severus of Spinner's End. Working class areas, though this place was more rural, whereas Spinner's End had been a genuine industrial area. There were factories nearby but the environment seemed to have been more preserved here. Fields and meadows could be guessed beyond the tracts of forest around. A rural area turned more or less industrial with time, but still working class.

They entered Mrs Bartlett's house. The interior was modest too. Photos of family members, religious and landscape paintings hung on the walls. An atmosphere of old age pervaded in the whole house. Mrs Bartlett guided them to her kitchen where they sat while she prepared some tea. She got out three mugs and some sugar and milk. While the tea brewed, she went to an imposing furniture in her sitting-room, opened a drawer to retrieve the keys. She came back to them with the set. In her hand, there was an envelope too.

"Professor, maybe I should explain you what key is to open what. This big one is for the small front gate outside. This one opens the main door. This other one opens the shed in the backyard. Here's the one for the mailbox. I go and empty the box once a week. Always full of ad papers, never mind. Well, at least people think there's someone living in the house. Personally, I haven't entered the house for ages. The last visit I got was from a musician, a friend of your father, Lorena. He had come with two other friends of George, musicians too. They were there to store instruments. They never came back to retrieve them. The stuff must still be there, I guess. Big stuff."

"We'll see that," Lorena said. "Don't you worry."

"Oh, Lorena, your father, he was so gifted with music. A real wizard with everything music."

Hearing this, Severus stiffened. Lorena felt it too but she just smiled. "That expression always made me smile, you know. My grandmother used to say so." Well, Cassiope Gaunt Nottingham must have had indeed while giving it a whole another meaning…

"I know ! Cassie was a wizard in her own kind too. She was adept at… so many things. Did you know that she helped many women with… pardon me, Professor, with… women issues ?"

Lorena replied for him. "My father told me that. I guess I was too young to understand and ask when she was still alive."

"Surely. But now you're what, twenty ? Twenty-two ?"

"Eighteen."

"You look older. Never mind. You can understand now. Cassie always had a remedy for us. Sick kids. Injured husbands or fathers or brothers. Pregnant women she helped for birth if the doctor could not come. Women that did not wish to continue a pregnancy, if you see what I mean…"

"You mean she prepared abortive po…" Lorena stopped in her tracks, sensing Severus' nervousness through their bond. "I mean, she practiced… abortions ?"

"Oh, yes, she did that. She never wanted to tell us the recipes though. She said this was a family secret. Cassie was very stubborn. She would not have spilled the beans if she had decided she would not. But she was so reliable a friend and a neighbor. She was always willing to help a woman in distress or in labor. Your grandmother was a saint, always helping her neighbors."

_No, my grandmother was a witch,_ Lorena thought. She knew that Severus had reached the same conclusion.

"She helped everybody but she could not save her own children. Her first two kids, little Bill and little Lizzie."

That was an interesting approach. "Mrs Bartlett, do you know how they died ?"

"You don't know ?"

"This is not something that we used to talk about at home. It made my grandmother too much sad."

"Yes, I understand. That's the kind of wound that never closes, even after all these years." A shadow passed on her features. Severus gathered that she was the one that had lost a son, according to Lorena's explanations. "Actually, that was quite strange. They died without a cause. Apparently. Well, Cassie did not tell us much, she was clearly devastated. You should have seen how much she clung to her last son, George, your father, after all this. Fortunately, this one survived. But I could talk about it with Peter, your grandfather. He was clearly lost too. Yet I remember what he told me once and frankly, I was puzzled." She took a deep breath. Lorena was all the more interested – and so was Severus. "He told me that the doctor found no reasons as to their deaths. I don't know what was written on the death certificates but here you had two kids in perfect health and suddenly, _poof_, they were gone. I guess we'll never know. Peter, your grandpa, told me vaguely about a heart attack but he was skeptical himself. You see, the kids had been found dead with their eyes wide open. Isn't that weird ?"

"Weird, indeed," Lorena said. A bad feeling began to creep up in her mind. _Eyes wide open…_

Severus felt his suspicions growing stronger and stronger. The same suspicions he had had when realizing that the two children had died aged eleven. _If Cassie Nottingham was a witch, her children were half-blood. They would have received an invitation to attend Hogwarts. They died just before._ The notion left a strange impression in his mind.

"Talking about death certificates, Lorena… here is something that I should give you." She handed the young woman an envelope. "Cassie's own death certificate. George, your father, handed it to me for custody. In the same letter than the one he had sent his keys back to me, he had instructed me to take his mother's death certificate, stored in a drawer in the kitchen, to be passed on to you the day you'd come here. I guess this is the right time. His letter is inside the envelope too. He wrote me that…" She flinched. "That you'd know what to do with it. Well, I don't know what more could be done now that Cassie's dead and buried."

She put the envelope in Lorena's hands. "Thank you, Mrs Bartlett, for your loyalty to my family. I'll… see what I can do with it next time I talk with my father. You're right, I don't know what more I could do now."

"Oh, Lorena, you're so brave, so courageous ! Do you know, Professor, that she's the bravest little girl I've ever seen in my whole life ? Taking the brunt of all these deaths with dignity and courage ?" She crushed a tear on her cheek before kissing the young woman on her cheek.

Severus wanted to say something but he refrained and just nodded. Once more, he thought that the young woman had been sorted into the wrong House. _She should have been sorted into Gryffindor._

They finished their tea – which had been excellent and comforting.

"Listen, Mrs Bartlett, we're going to leave as I wish to go to my grandmother's house before dark. If you don't mind."

"No, not at all ! Just know that both water and power have been cut, so there's no light available. Oh, I've got candles and matches." She opened a drawer and handed them two long candles with a matchbox. "You know, in case we have a power shortage, these come in handy."

Lorena and Severus accepted. They would use their wands of course, but no need to arouse suspicions. Besides, they were used to candles. They went out to the house next door. Severus opened the small outside door and they entered the property. There was a tiny garden in front of the house, like for Mrs Bartlett's house. In fact, all the houses in the neighborhood had been built on the same model. From what he had seen at the old lady's, Severus had a pretty idea of what the first floor may be like in old Cassie Nottingham's house.

* * *

**_We get to know more about Lorena and her family, especially her grandmother witch. _**

**_I have also gave a few clues about Severus too that may explain his behavior. I got inspired by what is revealed about Severus in both _****Half-Blood Prince****_ and _****Deathly Hallows****_. The rest is a work of my imagination playing with canon._**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	79. Family heirlooms

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**7****9 – Family heirlooms**

They opened the main door. To keep the appearances, Severus cracked a match and lit a candle. "Miss Nottingham, hold me this while I take out my wand." The young woman accepted the candle he put in her hand.

"Now, let me go in first," he said. "There's something I need to check before we may enter."

"What do you mean, sir ?" Suddenly, she could not make heads or tails of his behavior. "What do you think there is to check about ?"

"Dark magic, Miss Nottingham. I never enter a place unknown and which has been uninhabited for ages, without checking this first."

Lorena wanted to tell him he was turning like Alastor Moody but she refrained on time, lest the comparison may trigger off his wrath. She bit her lip instead. Yet, she had to admit he was right to be cautious. She let him do as he was much more experienced a wizard than she was.

"Dark magic…" she whispered to herself. His suspicions strengthened her own suspicions. A pureblood family member had lived here, while several members of her family had died in strange circumstances.

Severus entered the house, wand at the ready. Lorena followed him closely, one hand on the wall. Once they were both inside in the corridor, Severus told her to close the door behind them. He did not wish to have Muggle witnesses if he had to resort to magic. This was a Muggle neighborhood. A bit of light from outside filtered through the curtains and the blinds but not enough. Once he heard the door closing, his wand lit with an unsaid _Lumos_.

He stopped in his tracks. "This place has known magic before."

"Well, my grandmother was a witch, Professor..."

"No. Not your every day magic. I mean… Dark magic. I can feel it."

Lorena could hear from his voice that he was not joking. "My grandmother was not the kind of witch to use Dark stuff, Professor. She barely used magic in general, lest a neighbor could spot her doing so. She did most of her business the Muggle way. She just used her magic for healing purposes apparently." She swallowed. "You mean, Dark magic had been used here ? But for what purpose ? Sir ?"

"I don't know. There's a trace of it. A recent trace. No more than two or three years, I'd say."

"I don't feel anything. I mean, I lived for years in that house, I never felt… well, I don't even know how Dark magic feels anyway."

"That's because you're not a Dark Arts expert. I am," he snorted. "Dark magic has been used here. Like you can feel elemental magic and I can't." As soon as he had uttered these words, Severus understood what may have happened. "Do you know what killed your grandmother ?"

"The doctor said she died of a heart attack, Professor. He was surprised because she had no condition or ailment in this regard. Well, we have her death certificate here, we can check this out." She put a hand on his arm. "Are you telling me that her death could be connected with… that Dark magic you feel ?"

"I don't know. I can't tell. Take out your wand and cast _Lumos_, so that I may have more light."

Lorena obeyed. She snuffed the candle out, now useless, and got her wand out. "The kitchen is on your right." Severus checked, there was nothing, except that magic had been used here indeed, but more something akin to healing magic. Cassie Nottingham must have prepared her potions here. He shook his head in disapproval. Some potions were incompatible with food and cooking – it could be dangerous but the Gaunt lady must have known what she did back then.

They went to the other rooms. They were relatively free from Dark magic, though with time, the Dark atmosphere had spread into the whole house. Severus made a mental note that the house should be checked by curse-breakers before being inhabited again, by her father for example, should he choose to live here once he got out of jail.

They went through the sitting-room, then a spare room which was locked. Severus cast _Alohomora_ silently. The door gave way easily. The room was crowded with stuff he did not recognized at first in the dim light given by the two wands. "This room's safe, Miss Nottingham. I think it should interest you." He led her in. Lorena's hands touched a piece of furniture.

"Oh !" she let out. "But how come this is here ?"

"What's this ?"

Lorena touched the furniture. There was a keyboard. Her fingers recognized the more or less familiar layout. Some ethereal sounds came out from it when her fingers hit the keys. "This… is a _celesta_, Professor. Not a very common instrument, to say the least. How come… it arrived here, is a complete mystery to me. My father or his pals must have managed to get it back from my mother's family somehow."

She began to play a few notes, while humming a tune. "My mother's celesta," she said, her voice lost in emotion. "I don't believe it. All these years and now, it's here !" She sniffled and Severus guessed she was crying. Out of joy or nostalgia, he could not have told. "Her harp must be there too !"

She went to the next piece of furniture. "Not this, this is my father's Hammond organ. Then the Leslie cabinet that goes with. They need power to work. But I recognize them. My father used to play gospel and soul stuff on the organ. It has a wonderful sound." Her hands went further. "His double bass." She pinched a few strings and a deep sound came out of the imposing instrument stored in a corner of the room, against the wall. Nearby the window, there was an even bigger instrument.

"This is it ! My mother's harp ! The big stuff my father's pals must have brought, which Mrs Bartlett had talked about." She pinched strings, in an octave of sounds. Severus came closer, his wand shedding light on her face. She was clearly moved, silent streaks of tears on her cheeks. "I remember… when I was a child… We had played a lovely piece together, me and my parents. My father at the celesta, my mother on her harp, me with my violin. I can still hear it…" She hummed the tune louder this time while pinching a few strings.

"There are other instruments apparently." Severus could not help being marveled at the discovery. Lorena's fingers still lingered on the harp strings. In a corner, there were three guitars, one acoustic, two electric, one of them a bass guitar. There were boxes too.

Lorena left the harp and went to the boxes, guided by Severus. She opened the boxes and left her fingers recognize the content. "This is an alto sax." She felt the other box content. "My father's clarinet."

Severus lit the other side of the room with his wand. A cupboard, half opened, showed books and scores, along with a small wooden flute, a metronome and a diapason. In front of the cupboard, there was another long instrument that Lorena recognized as her father's synthetizer. She closed the boxes.

"It's incredible. I thought I'd never seen the celesta and the harp again. That's all I have left from my mother."

"She was a musician too. Just like you."

"Yes, she taught music. She was a talented concert musician too. We may say my parents had been a match made in heaven. A match broken too soon." She sighed. "I'm so much happy to know they're here. It's like… a Christmas gift. I'll write this to my father, he'll be happy to know that these two instruments have been returned to us. Unless he already knows. He must have been the one to tell his friends to bring them here."

They went out of the room. Severus suggested the room be warded so that nothing could happen to the precious instruments stored there. Lorena agreed, provided she could disable the wards herself. Severus taught her and they left for upstairs.

There, Severus felt the core of Dark magic in one of the rooms. There were three rooms, the cursed room had been Cassie's. He strongly suspected that it had been the room where she had died. _This woman's been killed here. She did not die naturally. She was cast the _Avada Kedavra_, which leaves no traces. But why someone would want to kill her ? For what purposes ?_

Lorena had explained to him which room had been hers, the other being her father's. "I haven't come back since… since I've become blind." She paused. "Things began to go haywire for my father since my mother had died," she said softly. "He must have felt abandoned, between me, my mother and his mother. I've become blind less than one year after my grandma had died."

This last detail intrigued Severus. Now, there were too many similar events to be mere coincidences. He began to believe that George Nottingham had better stay in jail for the time being, where he was safe actually. Of course, he did not voice this concern to the young woman. He made a mental note to talk to Dumbledore about this.

The Potions Master began to add two and two. He did not like it. He feared for Lorena suddenly. Who would be the next target ? Herself ? Her father ? And who was behind all these strange deaths and events ? _Whoever it is, won't stop if they are still at large. Especially if it's the Dark Lord. _That would have been Voldemort's modus operandi.

Lorena had entered what had been her grandmother's bedroom. She seemed to have taken a trip down memory lane. Severus was watching her closely. He did not wish her to have a mental breakdown here. But no, she seemed to relish in her memories.

"We should not stay here too long, Miss Nottingham," he said after a quick assessment of the room. "There's a high concentration of Dark magic here." He dragged her out of the room. Lorena said nothing, shocked by the revelation. "Show me the others rooms."

"My father's room this door, the other one's my room, sir."

Severus opened her father's room first. The room was safe, no trace of Dark magic here, except for the lingering remnants from the old witch's room. At the same time, Lorena went to her own bedroom. A young girl's bedroom, with sweet pastel colors on the walls. An imposing cabinet, with a mirror on one of the panel doors, was stored on one side of the room.

Suddenly, as she entered the room, the cabinet began to shake on its base, as if someone or something lived inside and had decided to go out.

"Professor, come here, I think there's something trapped in my cabinet over there !"

Severus came to her quickly.

"What's this, sir ? I don't remember this house was haunted."

"This is not a ghost, Miss Nottingham. This is just a boggart."

"A boggart ? How come…"

Severus did not wait for her explanation. He pushed her behind him in a protective gesture. He braced himself for the encounter. He opened the cabinet with an unspoken spell.

A woman in rags, with big green eyes and red hair over her skeleton frame, went out of the cabinet, her finger pointed accusedly towards him. An intense feeling of guilt surrounded him to the point Severus was unable to cast the counter spell. She came closer to him but he could not react, mesmerized by the creature's eyes. _Lily !_ Soon, the green eyes evolved into the Dark Mark, a green Dark Mark, as green as her eyes. And he knew. This was the shape of his guilt. His boggart had the shape of his guilt.

Lorena was waiting for the counter spell. _Why doesn't he cast it ?_ she thought. Hidden behind his back, she touched him and felt he was like paralyzed. She decided to take action and stepped forward. The creature disappeared instantly but instead it was a mass of dark fog which resounded with an insane, maniacal laughter. A laughter that poured ice in Lorena's veins. Other sounds could be heard that she identified as screams of people being tortured or in intense pain.

Time for him to register that his boggart had gone, replaced by Lorena's, Severus managed to snap out of his state. "_Riddikulus_ !" he yelled in the room. The laughter stopped ringing in Lorena's ears, while the Lily shape fell to the ground in the form of a small rag doll.

Lorena let out a deep sigh. Being blind, her boggart had become a sound. Severus picked up the doll and put it back into the cabinet. Doing so, he spotted a box on one of the shelves inside the furniture. Intrigued, he levitated it out for a closer examination. There was nothing else in the cabinet.

It was a sewing box, the size of a shoe box, very simple, with a handle and covered with flowery fabric in green shades. The Potions Master made it turn over itself to examine it closely, in case the object was cursed. He checked it under all its angles. There was no Dark magic in it, nor it was cursed either.

"What's happening, Professor ?" Lorena asked.

"There was a sewing box in the cabinet. Looks like the boggart had been put there to draw one's attention to it, to make a magical being know there's something for them, whatever that is."

"A sewing box…" she bemused while sitting on her bed.

"Whatever that is, it's safe. I mean, not cursed." Severus put the box on the bed besides the young witch. He sat too, the box now between them.

A piece of paper was taped onto the lid. The words Severus read surprised him. "There's a message on it. It says…" With caution, he turned the box towards him so that he could read slowly what was written on it. "_I closed at the beginning. I shall open at the close. A beloved voice of yours closed me. Only a beloved voice of hers can open me_." Severus was clearly puzzled. "Maybe you can recognize the handwriting," he suggested.

Lorena poked the paper with her wand, as if to read it. "Looks like my grandmother's handwriting indeed. I'm not sure actually." At the same time, she began to read aloud. "_I closed at the beginning. I shall open at the close. A beloved voice of yours closed me. Only a beloved voice of hers can open me_."

She had barely finished reading the words aloud that the box opened. Lorena let out a small yelp of surprise.

"Now we know whose voice the message alludes to. Yours. This is quite advanced an enchantment. I think that only your grandmother qualified for being behind it."

"Yes, you're right, Professor. '_Hers_' refers to my grandmother indeed." Lorena opened the lid carefully. Before she could plunge her hand inside, Severus caught her wrist. "Let me check first."

Lorena backed off so that he could release her wrist. He levitated the content of the box. "Paperwork only. No Dark magic either," he described to her. One by one, he got the papers out of the box and had them spread on the bed nearby.

"Paperwork ? What kind of paperwork ? Sir ?" Lorena enquired.

"Family records. There's… There's a letter here… for you." He handed it over to Lorena. She put her wand on it and began reading the note.

_Lorena, my dearest little __Slytherin girl,_

_If you read this, it means that you had managed to retrieve the sewing box. Good. Don't mind the boggart. I've put it there to draw your attention to the cabinet. I suppose you know the spell to silence the creature – that's something __taught in 3__rd__ year at Hogwarts._

_It also means that I'm no longer in existence. Don't you worry. To the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure. And for sure, my mind is well organized indeed, as everything is ready – you hold the proof thereof in your hands. _

_Your family history is contained in that box. Hence the message. The box is enchanted to obey only to your voice. Just repeat the message taped on the lid__ to open it. Nothing to do to lock it. The spell is back into effect as soon as the box is closed._

_I feel really sorry for my departure. I would have loved to see you__r wedding, meet your husband, cuddle your kids. I feel sorry for my son, your father. Hold him in check, the poor boy has had many a sorrow these years and my leaving this earth is another blow for him. Yet, although I had a few years ahead of me to live, it happens some other people have decided otherwise. _

_I leave you with only one piece of advice – I trust you for the rest. In any case, DO NOT go after your Gaunt relatives. They're up to no good. Dark wizards all. The Muggle world is safer and if you have to escape a grave danger, do the same__ as I did. Listen to me and you'll live longer._

_Do not feel sorry for me. I had a marvelous life, a wonderful husband, three great kids. I even gained an extra daughter with your mother. And finally you. I hope your life shall be as good as mine was. You'll have trials and tribulations, toils and snares will be set on your path in life. But never forget that love is the most powerful magic around. It is the only magic that can destroy death. I love you and your father, so I'm still there, watching over you both, from beyond the Veil._

_I'll be waiting for you, when your time is due (not before, of course !). In the meantime, I'm proud of you, my Slytherin granddaughter. Have a happy life, be good to your neighbors, be proud of __who and what you are. You are the heiress to a great name – but nobility is not something received at birth. It's something acquired by one's deeds, motivations and attitude._

_With all my love,_

_Your grandmother  
__Cassie Nottingham  
__(née Cassiope Gaunt) _

_PS : my wand __is in the third drawer when you enter the kitchen. Take it with you. As you're a trained witch, better it be into your capable hands._

_PPS : the box contains our family records, as well as the copy of a letter I had sent to Gringotts long ago, to make you sole beneficiary of my account__ and assets there. Go there with the letter, the goblins should know what to do with it, that is, give you access to my vault – now yours. The vault number is on the letter. The goblins have acknowledged receipt of my request, there's a letter from them too accepting my request. Keep it preciously and bring it with you when you go to Gringotts._

Lorena swallowed hard. She handed the letter to Severus for him to read. She managed to contain her tears. He read it and gave it back to her, silently. It confirmed his suspicions. The old woman knew someone was after her. The way things developed, he did not like this at all. Lorena folded it and put it with the other documents.

He went on with the description of the content of the box. "There are birth certificates, two marriages certificates, one obviously your parents', the other… your grandparents'. Your grandmother's letter to Gringotts and the bank's reply to her. Interesting… Oh, the death certificates for… your father's siblings and your grandfather." Severus removed the other papers. To his great surprise, he found some parchments in their envelopes. The envelopes bore the seal of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. There were several of them. Each one for a different person. Severus recognized the names of the two kids buried in the Nottingham plot. There was also one addressed to a certain George Lord Nottingham. The last one had Lorena's name on it.

"Letters of invitation to Hogwarts."

"Letters of… ?" Lorena gasped. "So the kids were magical indeed…" she whispered to herself. Realization dawned on her. "My father… he's a wizard, isn't he, Professor ?"

"Looks like."

"But how come he never attended Hogwarts, I mean, when Professor Dumbledore came to see us to announce us I was a witch, my father…" She stopped in her tracks, trying to voice her memories. "My father had looked as if he had never heard about Hogwarts before."

"I think this is something you'd have to discuss with the Headmaster."

"How he could have not heard about Hogwarts if he had received that letter ?" she went on for herself.

"I don't understand that part either," Severus replied. He took out another parchment. It was a list of results, OWLs for a Cassiope Gaunt. Under it, there was the same document, this time for her NEWTs. "Looks like your grandmother had received very good grades for Potions, Herbology, Charms and DADA. There are her exam results here."

"Woah…" Lorena said. She felt even prouder of her grandmother suddenly. "No wonder she could brew healing stuff for her neighbors in need."

Severus wanted to retort that he did not call abortive potions 'healing stuff' but he refrained from doing so. The old witch had put her knowledge to use for the benefit of other people in need. Muggles moreover, which showed she had no blood prejudices, contrary to most pureblood family members. _And the woman had been a Slytherin…_

He also dug a few magical photos from the box. They looked quite old, maybe early 20th century, or taken between the two world wars. "Magical pics. Maybe Professor Dumbledore will be able to tell more about them. He may recognize some people after all."

She nodded. There was nothing else. "Let's put every thing back into the sewing box. No need to stay here any longer," he said. She also put her grandmother's death certificate into the box before closing it.

They went downstairs. Lorena wanted to retrieve her grandma's wand. She opened the third drawer and found it between other items that Severus recognized as utensils used for potions. Stirring rods, ladles, knives, scissors, among others. Old stuff, yet in good shape, dating probably back from Cassiope Gaunt's days at Hogwarts and that she must have used for potion making. He checked inside the cupboards and was not long before finding a dozen of small glass vials. Under the sink, there were three or four cauldrons of different sizes. He shook his head again in disapproval. He would never mix potions implements with cooking utensils, or potions ingredients with food.

Lorena got the wand from the drawer. It was made of a deep, almost violet, color. _That means that she did not have it with her when she had been killed, _he thought. Because now Severus was sure that the grandmother had not died naturally. He put the wand in Lorena's hand. "Can you recognize it, by the feel of it ? Do not cast any spell with it though."

Lorena felt the wand with her both hands. Her fingers caressed it on its length, assessed its weight, texture and softness. "Looks like it is indeed. If we can have it confirmed it was amaranth wood, phoenix feather core, then it's hers, Professor. Is its color more or less purple ?"

Severus looked at it. "Yes, from what I can see. Amaranth… Not a very common wood for a wand. We could go to Ollivander's. He would confirm it. We'll do the _Priori Incantatem_ with the Headmaster."

"If we could do that, that would be great indeed, Professor. I keep her wand with me then." She slid the wand into her left sleeve.

"I don't think we need to stay here any longer. We have to go to Diagon Alley to Ollivander's. I'd like to report all this to the Headmaster, with as much information as possible. We also need to read these documents to know as much as possible about your family. I'm sure you wish to know."

"You're right, Professor. Let's get out." They left the house. The sun was almost set. Lorena told Severus they had to bring back the candles and matches to Mrs Bartlett before leaving. They closed the house, Severus keeping the keys with him. They gave back Mrs Bartlett her candles and matches, thanking her again heartily for her loyalty and care. Lorena promised she would pass her greetings to her father in her next letter to him.

They walked back to the graveyard, in silence. They did not wish to talk about all this. Severus felt the young witch was disturbed. As there was nobody around and it was almost dark, he deemed they could Apparate safely from there, directly to Wizarding London. To Diagon Alley. He took her between his arms, the precious box between their bodies.

* * *

They Apparated back in Diagon Alley, not very far from Ollivander's. Severus rushed Lorena to the wandmaker shop, fearing the old man may have closed already.

The shop was still open. Mr Ollivander was at the counter. He was surprised to see the Hogwarts Potions Master in his premises, above all accompanied by a lovely young woman. They greeted each other politely yet kindly.

"Mr Ollivander, this young lady here has a request for you. Show him, Miss Nottingham."

Lorena smiled. She was grateful that he had addressed her formally. Silently, she took out a wand. Before she realized that she had taken out the wrong wand, Ollivander had seized it. "Ebony. Phoenix talon core. Eleven inches. Your wand, miss. Rather rare. Perfect for certain type of magic, in particular to cast off evil influences. Very strong presence and energy, not for the faint of heart." He paused to admire the handle, aware he had said all this for the Potions Master – the other owner of an ebony wand with a phoenix talon core. "I only had two of them. One is yours." He glanced at Severus. Both men watched each other in understanding.

"I suppose you won't tell me who else has the other twin wand," she said with a smile. She had an idea of whom it could be though – in one of their duels, her and Severus' wands had locked with each other as they had the same core. She just wanted to try to have a confirmation.

"No, I won't. Some clients do not wish this information to be disclosed. If you ask me so, I can do it for your wand too."

Severus glanced back at the wandmaker. They nodded to each other in silence. The information about an 11-year-old student buying a wand was not secret material whereas information about his own wand was, with him being a Potions Master, a Death-Eater, a double agent working for the two most powerful wizards of the age. Of course, Severus had not specified the last two reasons to Ollivander. The old wandmaker had nonetheless gathered that a Potions Master needed confidentiality.

"I appreciate that." The old wandmaker's reply had given her an idea. "Actually, I got out the wrong wand, sir. This is the one I want you to tell me about." She put her grandmother's wand on the counter. The old wandmaker took it carefully to examine it.

"Long time I haven't seen that one. Amaranth, also known as Purpleheart wood. Quite rare actually, like ebony, by the way. Phoenix feather core. Twelve inches. Sensitive and flexible, not that easy to work. Yet, a wand particularly suited for healing processes or even blood magic." A pause. "1930. I crafted it in 1930. I sold it to a young lady in 1931, she was to enter Hogwarts. Cassiope Gaunt," he went on without a single hesitation in his voice. "I suppose she was happy with it – I never saw her back to upgrade her wand. Well, actually, there was no need to do so. Ebony and amaranth wands are mature wands to be kept for life. I was even surprised when the wand chose that person to be its owner. Well, I'm always surprised when this type of wands choose kids to be their owners. Most of the time, these kids end up being very powerful witches and wizards. Remember, the wand chooses its owner. The wand knows how powerful its owner is or will be."

Lorena pondered the wandmaker's remarks. _Interesting._ "You have a prodigious memory, Mr Ollivander," she could not help saying.

The old man chuckled. "A useful skill in this business, you know. How did you get across that wand ?"

A delicate question. She could not say this was a family heirloom. Yet, she had an answer handy. "I was given that wand by someone I know. Now it's mine. I cannot say more and if anyone asks you questions about it, I trust you to remain silent about this particular wand. You just said that you can keep this kind of information confidential on my request."

_Brilliant_, Severus thought. _So Slytherin._

Ollivander watched the young woman. He had just realized she was blind. He glanced at Severus whose face remained unreadable, as usual. "I will, miss. I just wanted to make sure that this wand had not arrived into your hands in an unlawful manner."

"I understand. Let's say it's a gift. Its owner had given it to me a few years ago and has died in the meantime."

"Alright. I'll stick to that explanation. Have you cast the _Priori Incantatem_ already ? I can do it for you, if you do not wish to do so by yourself," he suggested. "Sometimes, there can be strange stuff coming out of a wand that had not been used for long."

"We'll do it ourselves, Mr Ollivander," Severus said. "I'm a Dark Arts expert. Miss Nottingham has nothing to fear about it if I take care of that matter myself."

"As you wish, Master Snape."

That was the first time that Lorena heard someone address Severus by the title of 'Master'. Well, he was a Potions _Master_, he was entitled to be so addressed. He just did not wish to.

"I guess this is all that we need to know then, sir," Severus said. "We thank you very much for receiving us this late."

"No problem, Master Snape. My pleasure," the old wandmaker replied kindly. "Just one thing, miss. This wand, the amaranth, it works better in the right hand. I noticed you're left-handed."

"Oh," Lorena said. "Yes, thank you, sir. I'll keep that in mind." The man was prodigious, nothing went by him.

Severus and Lorena left the shop and went to the Apparition point in Diagon Alley to go back to Hogwarts. He checked around them. At this hour of the day, the sun already set, there was practically nobody around. He pressed the young woman tight against him, wrapping her in his traveling cloak. In a second, they had disappeared, Disapparating back directly to his quarters.

* * *

**__****The celesta is an instrument often used by John Williams in his works. It can be heard in some of the Harry Potter movie soundtrack. It is also used in Ravel's ********Bolero****__****. A nice sound. **

**__****The information about the wands exposed in this chapter come from a website already mentioned in the notes of that story : **_**www (dot) bardwood (dot) com (slash) woods (dot) htm**_**__**** - I used the wandlore of that website to feed my story.**

**__****Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**


	80. A disquieting discovery

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**80**** – A disquieting discovery**

Once they were back to Hogwarts, Severus and Lorena went to see the Headmaster, with the box they had found and Cassiope Gaunt's wand. Albus Dumbledore would be happy, it had been a good harvest of information.

The old wizard received them both in his office. He was immediately interested in the items they had brought back. He took the wand Lorena handed over to him. He cast the _Priori Incantatem_ to check which last spells had been used. Only innocent spells, cast for every day use. Which meant that Cassiope Gaunt had prepared the sewing box well before she had died. Most likely when Lorena was in her midst, for the voice memory charm. The young witch could not remember.

"No importance anyway," Dumbledore said while giving her back the wand. "You may use it safely now." He paused. "Amaranth wands are sensitive tools, in particular for healing and blood magic. Ollivander must have told you so."

"He did indeed, Professor. It's no coincidence that my grandmother used most of her magic to help and heal her fellow human beings. As if the wand she had purchased at age 11, knew in anticipation that she would do so."

"Good. I'm sure you'll use it wisely too. It should enhance your healing magic by the way."

Lorena put the amaranth wand back into her left sleeve. She thought about it : she would try to use the wand to heal, even if she knew that her empathy did not need a wand to operate. The Headmaster took the box and read the message taped on its lid. Lorena had memorized her grandmother's message. "_I closed at the beginning. I shall open at the close. A beloved voice of yours closed me. Only a beloved voice of hers can open me_."

The box opened. "The box opens only with my voice saying that message, Professor," she explained. "The information you need is inside the box."

"Sit down, Lorena. And you too, Severus. We need to find out the truth. Are you ready, Lorena, to find out the truth about your family ?"

The young woman swallowed. "Yes, sir. I am." Her tone was determined.

"Let's look what we have here then," the Headmaster said, while getting the paperwork out.

"Albus. There are birth certificates, death certificates, marriage certificates, letters of invitation to Hogwarts. Cassiope Gaunt's OWLs and NEWTs results, correspondence with Gringotts," Severus explained.

"We'll sort that out as such indeed."

"There's also a letter from my grandmother, Professor," Lorena explained. "A letter you should read first, if I may suggest."

Dumbledore glanced at his Potions Master. The younger wizard nodded in agreement. The Headmaster took the letter out first and read it carefully. After long minutes of silence, he watched Lorena. "Interesting indeed. Your grandmother believed, before she died, that someone would kill her. Yet, she did not seek any help from the Ministry of Magic. She did not even have her wand with her when she was attacked – if she ever was."

"I think my grandmother had been away from the Wizarding world for too long to seek any help from it. Besides, we do not know who had murdered her – if she ever was murdered indeed. Maybe she was just… she just died naturally."

Dumbledore and Severus raised an eyebrow to the young witch – totally lost on her. "Go on, Miss Nottingham," Severus said.

"We have several possibilities here : 1) either she died naturally, before her murder was planned ; 2) either she died naturally, she was just imagining things ; 3) either she was murdered actually. If that last assumption is correct, who had been her murderers ? And why ?"

"Dark wizards," Severus said quietly. "Your grandmother didn't die naturally. The place reeked with Dark magic, Albus. Especially her bedroom. I think she had even been killed there."

The Headmaster sighed. "The more we learn, the more questions we have. Another mystery to be solved, I'm afraid."

They remained silent for long minutes, time for Dumbledore to read the other documents contained in the box. Then he took a quill and a piece of parchment on his desk and began writing. Lorena's hearing perceived the slight scratching of the quill on the parchment. The Headmaster was taking notes.

"Alright," he said after long minutes spent writing. "Now we have a more complete picture of your family, Lorena. First, your parents. You must have suspected it but your father was a magical child, Lorena. I don't need to go into our records here as we have the letter of invitation. He, as well as his brother and sister. Your mother was a Muggle but I may check this out in our records, as I have her date of birth and surname. Just in case. You had probably figured that out already."

"I did, though I wasn't sure, Professor. Yet, why did my father never attend Hogwarts ? How come he didn't even know about Hogwarts and his ancestry when you came home to explain us that I was a witch ?"

The old wizard knew the questions would come one day or so. He glanced at Severus who remained unreadable.

"I'll explain to you, Lorena. You have a right to know indeed. You see, your uncle and aunt – then kids aged 11 only – received their letters of invitation to Hogwarts. Their mother, your grandmother, had confirmed they would attend next September. However, during Summer, I received the sad news that the children had died and therefore their enrolment here was cancelled." He paused. "You had surely noticed that they had died aged 11."

"Professor Snape had noticed that when we checked the dates at the graveyard."

Albus looked at his Potions Master and smiled at him in appreciation. "Nothing goes by Severus. Yes, they had died just before entering Hogwarts. Their death certificates states that they died suddenly. A heart attack. The boy was found dead in the shed. The girl had died in the forest, during a walk there. Apparently, she was back from a friend's of hers. In both cases, the children had been alone. The certificates states that no trace of violence had been found on their bodies. They had just collapsed, their heart stopped. Oh, yes, one thing. The physician had found them with their eyes wide open."

"No traces of violence… eyes open… heart attack…" Lorena processed the information. She did not like it at all.

"The Killing Curse," Severus said. "Miss Nottingham, you said that there was no heart ailment history in your family."

She shook her head. "No. According to my father and my grandparents, we can even live for a long time in our family."

"That's true that wizards have long life expectancy, longer than Muggles have. I can read that your grandmother died at 70. She could have lived at least 30 or 40 years more easily, especially if she was in good health."

"So my father's siblings have been killed. By whom and why ?"

"That we don't know, Lorena. But looks like someone didn't wish them to be trained as a witch and a wizard. It's strange that the kids died just before entering Hogwarts. I don't believe in mere coincidences."

Lorena closed her eyes in deep reflection. "Just before entering Hogwarts… No wonder that my grandmother didn't…" She opened her empty pale gray eyes. "My father." She was still in her train of thoughts.

"Go on, Miss Nottingham," Severus said.

"My grandmother never talked about the two kids she had lost in two years' time. That was a subject we never, never discussed. But when the time came for my father to enroll here, she must have figured out the outcome. She must have refused that my father came here. Though he was a half-blood, a magical kid, she didn't want him to be trained as a wizard. She wanted…" Lorena's hand roamed over her belly in a protective gesture. "I can imagine easily what had happened. She didn't want to lose her last child."

Albus and Severus exchanged a quick glance that said it all. That was plausible indeed.

"My grandmother didn't want to send his only remaining son to Hogwarts. Think of that : she had fled her world, severing all ties with it. Yet, her family is attacked magically – because if the Muggle doctors could not determine the cause of the death of her children, I'm sure she had. I think her reaction was logical. She decided not to send my father to Hogwarts. I would have done the same."

"Albus, do we keep records of kids whose parents refuse to send them to Hogwarts ?" Severus asked.

"Yes, we do."

"So why then didn't you go and see Cassiope Gaunt and talk with her then, Professor ? Maybe she could have received some help and my father would have been able to go to Hogwarts ! Maybe the Ministry of Magic could have enquired about her children's murders !"

Dumbledore sighed. "You have the right to know, Lorena," he said again. "I went to see her indeed. I met her and her husband one day I was sure your father was not present. She had already taken her decision not to send George, her last child, to Hogwarts. I tried to convince her that the boy would be safe here, within these walls. But she was afraid for him once he would have set foot outside the school during the holidays." He sighed again. "Your grandmother was a remarkable woman, Lorena. She had made a decision and she had stuck to it. Nothing could have changed her mind. So I didn't insist and left her house. When I came back here, I recorded the fact that the child called George Lord Nottingham, half-blood, would not attend."

Lorena perceived that the old man regretted somehow not to have insisted more. "Thank you, Professor. I'm sure… there was nothing more you could have done anyway."

"Albus, what happened to him ? I mean, a magical child, without a proper magical education, can develop serious mental conditions, especially in the Muggle world where our true nature is unknown. Did you discuss it with his mother ?"

"Oh, yes, Severus, I did. That was part of my arguments to convince her to let him come and attend. But apparently, Cassiope Gaunt had studied the issue already. She had laid other plans for her only son." Addressing Lorena : "Your grandmother was obviously a clever woman. She had given much thought about it. She told me she had found a way to channel her son's magical energy to prevent any mental disorder."

Lorena smirked. "I guess what it was. Music."

"Yes, music."

Lorena remembered Mrs Bartlett's words about her father. "He's a wizard with everything music. That's what her neighbor said when we met her today. That would explain how much gifted he is. He could learn how to play an instrument fairly quickly."

"He has a nice collection of them in her house," Severus explained to Albus. "How many instruments can he play actually, Miss Nottingham ?"

She began to list on her fingers. "Sax, keyboards – all kinds of them – double bass, guitar, clarinet, blues harp. I'm pretty sure he could learn others too. He can sing. He can compose. Yes, thinking of it, he's very gifted and that's the way he used his magic." She chuckled. "Music is magic. You said so, Professor Dumbledore. My father is a living proof of that."

"Impressive indeed," Albus said softly. "Never heard of someone using magic like this. I've met your father once, for your enrolment here. True I could feel his magic but I never thought he would have put it into music. I was happily surprised that he was mentally sane, despite the loss of his father and his wife a few years back. A bit feisty an individual, but I suppose this is his true nature."

"By the way, Professor, how did you manage to convince my grandmother to let me come here ? I was already living with her then. Tell me."

"Yes, you have a right to know this as well," he repeated for the third time. "You see, you were living in her house yet but she was not your legal guardian. Your father was." He took a deep breath. "Minerva had told me that a child of the name of Nottingham had been born. I checked the records with her. As you were recorded as a half-blood, as per the magical quill, I had noted – a reminder – that I should visit your parents when the time to invite you here arrived. Half-blood kids are supposed to have at least one magical parent that should know about magic and the magical education provided here at Hogwarts. I wanted…" His voice broke. Once again, Lorena could perceive a feeling of guilt. "I didn't wish to let go of you. I didn't wish to make the same mistake again of letting go of you like I had done with your father. We are not so numerous, compared to Muggles. We cannot afford to have our youth uneducated magically – whatever the risks. I met your father and your grandmother in her home. You remember that. I treated the whole thing as if you were a Muggle-born. Your father was enthusiastic. Cassiope said nothing. She was not your legal guardian, she had no say in all this. I could see she was utterly worried. She was grateful to me that I had said nothing of the past. Revealing the past then would have been unwise. I preferred to keep silent and concentrate on your education. The following September, you were here." He paused. "I'm sorry, Lorena. I know you had not been treated fairly well by your housemates because you were considered a Muggle-born, despite Severus' efforts to curb that trend in his own House."

Lorena had listened with careful attention. The picture was getting coherent. From her father's siblings being murdered to her becoming blind. "Why, Professor Dumbledore ? Why ? Is it also in relation with my… disability ?"

Once again, Albus watched Severus. "Lorena, I think there are things you should know about your grandmother. She had kept many a secret about herself. Now, I'd like you to… well, not see but hear a memory I have here. Come, Severus, I want you to see it as well."

Albus got up and took Lorena's arm to invite her to follow him. They arrived nearby a stone basin delicately carved on the sides. He put her hands on it. "Lorena, this is a Pensieve. You already heard about it, didn't you ?"

"Yes, sir," she said while feeling the stone under her agile fingers.

"Good," he said while agitating the bluish gas-liquid mix contained in the Pensieve with his wand. "Now, Severus, there's a memory here I want you to check. Ah, it's there. Severus, get there first, you'll help Lorena when she arrives."

"Arrives ? Where ?" the young witch exclaimed.

"You have to plunge your head in the Pensieve. It's safe, perfectly safe. Severus will be with you. Nothing can happen to you. You'll witness a scene I want you to know about. It involves a woman and two men. Pay attention to what is said, focus on their voices, that's the most important. We'll discuss it later."

She had never used a Pensieve. Full of apprehension, Lorena did as told and plunged her head in the Pensieve after Severus had done the same.

* * *

Lorena had stumbled on a floor, to be quickly picked up by a firm yet reassuring grip on her arm. She leaned on this arm she had recognized to take her bearings.

"Are you okay ?" she heard a purring voice in her ear.

"Yes," she whispered, comforted by the voice she had recognized too.

"Nothing can happen to us, as we're visiting a memory. We do not exist in this reality. Just pay attention to the voices."

Lorena nodded. Soon a female voice could be heard in the distance, coming closer. _"Morfin ! Cousin Morfin ! It's me, Cassiope !"_, repeated several times. Now the voice was close to them, clear and neat.

"Grandma ?" Lorena called, realizing that the then young Cassiope Gaunt, not her grandmother yet, could not hear her.

"She's entering a house. Well, rather a shack. Let's follow her inside," Severus said into her ear. He dragged her gently, telling her where to be careful.

Lorena could not believe it. This voice, coming back from the depths of time, had not changed at all. Still the same voice, lively, playful, a deep alto voice, so familiar to her.

"_Morfin ! Cousin Morfin ! It's me, Cassiope !"_

_My grandmother's cousin ?_ Lorena remembered her father's warning not to go after his own mother's relatives. The old woman had written the same thing too in her last letter. But curiosity was the strongest. Besides, she was with Severus, what else could happen to her ?

"_Morfin ! What happened to you ?"_

Lorena could hear her call her cousin. So her grandmother had a cousin called Morfin. She stored the information in her memory.

"_A young man, saying he's my nephew, Merope's son… He came here… we had a row… over my wand and my father's ring… The Gaunts' ring ! He said he would come back…"_

She had never heard that voice before. _His nephew. Merope's son. His father's ring. The Gaunt's ring. My grandmother's uncle ?_

"_But why would he take your wand, Morfin ?"_

That was a good question. Lorena felt something was up. To no good.

"_I don't know ! He's just the son of a… Merope, that slut… she married that filthy Muggle from the mansion further down the road, you know. Riddle is his name. She married without our consent ! And a Muggle to top it all off ! While me and our father were in Azkaban !"_

Apparently, a cousin of her grandmother had married a Muggle. Well, not a big fuss after all, her own grandmother had married a Muggle too.

"_Listen, Morfin, you should be happy to have a bit of family back to you…"_

"_You think so ? The son of a filthy Muggle ? Listen, Cassiope, you're my first cousin, you're the closest thing I have as a family, you hear ?"_

_First cousin. Close relative._ It meant that Cassiope and Morfin's fathers were brothers, as they shared the same surname, Gaunt.

"_I've brought you something to eat, Morfin. Now, simmer down. I'll wait for him with you and we'll see then."_

From the sound of his voice, Lorena thought the man was older than her grandmother, maybe ten or fifteen years. No way to tell. She wanted to ask Severus but she did not wish him to be distracted. Besides, Dumbledore had told her to pay attention. Questions would be for later.

"_Cassiope ! Cassiope… Listen to me… carefully… You won't do that. This guy means business. He's up to no good in my opinion. I don't want anything to happen to you, right ?"_

"_What else do you want to happen to me ?"_

Lorena bit her lip. Her grandmother's question had unsettled her. Out of reflex, she grabbed Severus' black school robe.

"_You don't understand ! What do you think will happen when a wizard steal a wand from another wizard ? Don't be that stupid ! Don't be like that stupid Squib sister of mine !"_

From the sound of his voice, that Morfin character was a rather feisty, nervous individual. Curiously, he reminded Lorena of her father. There was a sharp contrast between Morfin's agitated voice and Cassiope's calm tone.

"_Merope was not a Squib, Morfin, you know it and I know it too. Now, you listen to me and have your meal…" _

That Merope was Morfin's sister. So she was a first cousin of her grandmother too.

"_I won't have anything ! Get out of here, Cassiope ! Do as I tell you, please ! This guy… I felt it… Sixteen years-old, he told me, but I can feel he's already full of pure evil. If he comes back here and see you, only Merlin knows what he'll do to you ! Now go !"_

"_Morfin, I won't let a sixteen-years-old boy best me ! Together, we can…"_

A teenager boy to be afraid of ? Lorena was puzzled. She was even more puzzled when she felt Severus tense close to her.

"_Are you deaf ? He's full of evil and hatred ! It smells Dark magic all over him ! Now go !"_

The mention of Dark magic sent shivers along her spine. Severus stiffened even more. Her grandmother had qualified her Gaunt relatives of being 'Dark wizards all'. Maybe that Morfin Gaunt was a Dark wizard. Pretty much like Severus, he could _tell_ when Dark magic was involved.

"_Morfin, he's going to harm you !"_

"_It can't be worse than Azkaban, believe me ! Now get out of here before he returns ! Take your basket with you, otherwise, he'll see somebody came and I don't want him on your trail !"_

"_Cassiope ! Promise me one thing : Whatever may happen to me in the future, do not interfere. On the contrary, go, leave the place forever and get lost for us ! Dig ? Swear you'll disappear ! SWEAR !"_

Was Morfin's nephew, Merope's son, the cause of her grandmother's departure from the Wizarding world ? Gone because of a sixteen-years-old second cousin ?

"_I do… I swear !"_

Lorena had never heard her grandmother being so frightened. It was her voice indeed but with that unmistakable fearful tension in it. How weird. She had always considered her grandmother being someone very brave indeed, never afraid to take the stand in a complete aloof manner.

Then a banging sound could be heard on the door. Lorena almost jumped with surprise. She felt Severus tense too when she heard that the person banging at the door had entered the room they were in.

Lorena could not prevent a yell from coming out of her mouth when she heard the young man's voice. A voice she had already heard not so long ago. That voice that haunted her sometimes in her nightmares. A voice that scared her. She grasped Severus' school robe even tighter, coiling in his arms for protection.

Most of all, what alarmed her was the pressure of Severus' body against hers. The Potions Master had belted her body with his arms, in a protective gesture that said it all. He had also recognized that voice.

A voice that was in a different body now. A much uglier body, than this sixteen-years-old boy, so dashing, so devilishly handsome, with his dark hair, dark eyes and pale complexion.

The voice of his Master.

"_And you better have no other member of your family, Gaunt, I say no other member of your family, run after me ! Otherwise, they'll die a painful death. I just killed my filthy Muggle father and his filthy Muggle parents ! Your relatives, if there are still any, better disappear as I will chase them all over the country to kill them if needed. There shall be no other witness left ! I am the last and only Heir of Slytherin !"_

The words frightened Lorena. Not only the mention the young man – a boy – had killed his Muggle kin in cold blood, but also the promise he would kill other relatives – his magical, Gaunt relatives. Her grandmother was still there, carefully concealed under her charm, but still there. She was afraid for her but instinctively knew that Cassiope Gaunt would make it alive – otherwise George Nottingham would not have been brought into this world…

_The only Heir of Slytherin ? What does he mean ?_She felt a pull on her body and suddenly, they were back into the sweet warmth of the Headmaster's office.

* * *

_**Where we get to learn more about Lorena's ancestry. Inspired by the **_**Half-Blood Prince**_** (the book). The dialog between Cassiope and her cousin Morfin and the young boy taking place in the Pensieve (as it is a memory) is featured in italics between quotation marks. Thoughts are expressed in italics only, as usual. This memory has already been featured in a previous chapter, seen by Albus and Minerva.**_

_**For all those out of there who are geniuses and wizards with drawing and photo-manip, please feel free to use my work to spur your imagination - just provide me with the link so that I can admire your work and leave a review for it.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	81. The bitter taste of truth

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**8****1 – The bitter taste of truth**

The truth, at last.

Well, just a beginning of it, dawning on her. Lorena sagged against Severus. He still held her firmly against his body. It reminded her of that fateful morning when he had comforted her, when she had waken up blind. That soothing embrace, his warm body against hers, his rich, silky voice whispering into her ear. She took a deep breath and got a grip on herself in a few seconds.

Severus led her to a chair where she sat down. She was not clearly afraid but her face reflected sheer puzzlement. Her gaze got lost in the void, lost in deep, intense thinking.

_So this is it._ _She fled the Wizarding world because of that boy. That boy… now he is…_ Had she had not been blind, she would not have recognized him. But his voice was unforgettable. It was _him_. Undoubtedly.

Dumbledore sat on the chair beside her. He put a sympathetic hand on her shoulder in silent understanding.

"Professor… did you know… at that time… if he was to become the…" The words remained stuck in her throat.

"If at that time he was to become the Darkest wizard I had ever met ?" he finished. "No." He paused. "No, I didn't know then."

Severus was still standing in front of them, watching them, in his usual collected stance. However, his mind was racing fast. He was putting the various information he had just collected into place, like the different pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. There were still many blanks left though.

"What happened to Morfin Gaunt after that ?" Lorena asked.

"He was framed for the murder of Tom Riddle Sr and his parents. You see, Tom Riddle Jr, not known yet as Lord Voldemort, had used _his_ wand. The Muggle authorities could not find the murderer as no weapon was left around, nothing had been found about the corpses."

"Except… that the corpses had died with their eyes open, their heart suddenly stopped and no blood shed around them."

Dumbledore was taken aback. He glanced at Severus who remained his usual unreadable self. "You are very perceptive. I can see that you have already put two and two together. Yes, that's true. Tom had killed them with the Killing Curse."

"How come Morfin was framed if there were no clues around ? He had been in his house with my grandmother !"

"The Aurors knew better. They had Morfin in their line of fire as he had been to Azkaban before for a previous run-in with the law. You see, he had already used magic against Muggles. He was known for his hatred of them, like most of the Gaunts. Except your grandmother though. The Aurors rounded him, they checked his wand with the _Priori Incantatem_. They found out it had cast the _Avada Kedavra_. That was enough to make him guilty. Tom had been clever in using someone else's wand to kill his father and paternal grandparents."

"Morfin's wand." She swallowed hard. "Hence his warning to my grandmother. This is the event that prompted her to flee from our world, to make an escape into the Muggle world. She didn't even try to prove her cousin innocent as it would have meant… her death."

"Most likely."

"It reminds me of her own warning in her last letter. She must have also warned my father who told me in turn, when I had asked him about her maiden name." She sighed. _I understand better now._ She had the feeling she had gone already too far. She had discarded their warnings. _Truth has sometimes a bitter taste._

"Speaking of your father, Lorena, I received an owl from him, while you were viewing the Pensieve." He retrieved a letter from his robes. "A letter addressed to me, I must say."

"I'm not surprised. He had told me he would contact you. I suppose it's about my Gaunt relatives," she said softly. She still had a chance to come back into the right path. Strange coincidence that her father's letter had just reached them now. _Yet, after I had viewed all this, as if… as if I had been given a choice. To heed their warnings or digging for the truth._

"Your father explained that he wanted me to keep an eye on you. He expressed concern that you may try to go after your Gaunt relatives. Your magical relatives."

"My father's my magical relative, Professor. The only one I have left. The others are all dead."

"Except for the Dark Lord. Remember that your father doesn't have a single clue that he's magical himself," resonated a deep, silky voice.

"Severus is right, Lorena. Your father is unaware of all this. He surely doesn't know anything about his own wizarding ancestry. At this stage, you know more than he does."

Lorena got up to her feet. "Oh no, Professor Dumbledore, I don't know much. Tell me then, why is the Dark Lord after us, as a family ? First my father's siblings, then my grandmother. After that, he got me blind. Who's next ? My father ? Or the child I'm expecting ?"

Both men remained silent. This was not exactly an outburst. She just felt a cold anger. "Why am I under the impression that there are other things I don't know that I should ? Things that you both know, that I don't ? Why am I under the impression that his going after us is not in relationship with my elemental magic only ?"

Dumbledore remained silent. _The girl is indeed very perceptive._

"There are things you don't have to know, Miss Nottingham !" Severus replied icily.

"Oh really, sir ? Like… what about the Heir of Slytherin, for example ? Why does the Dark Lord refers to himself as such ? Tell me more about this ! Sir !" Her request was welcomed by silence. "Let me rephrase it then, Professor. We're talking about my murdered family. We're talking about the only family I have left that may be murdered on the very day he sets one foot out of the jailhouse. I'm of age. I can understand. I think I have the right to know ! I request it !"

Severus glared at her. _The insolent girl !_ "You request ? You request ? You behave like a child and you request to know things that you cannot handle obviously !"

"I'm no longer a child, Professor Snape, you must have surely noticed," she replied slowly with scorn, a smirk on her lips, her hand on her belly, the innuendo heavy in her words.

Severus felt both anger and embarrassment flushing his face. He would make her pay for that last sentence ! He almost lunged forward at her, an angry expression on his features, his hands ready to grab her.

"Enough !" Dumbledore interfered loudly, stepping between them. "This is not the moment to quarrel like an old married couple !"

His statement sounded so true that both Severus and Lorena kept silent. Albus realized then the humor in his sentence. He smiled inside himself while frowning at the pair in front of him.

"Lorena has indeed the right to know, Severus. However, Lorena, we cannot provide you with all the answers _now_."

"But what about the Heir of Slytherin ? What does that mean ? Why does the Dark Lord refers to himself as such ? What does it have to do with us ?"

"There are things that you should not know, Miss Nottingham !" Severus said again between clenched teeth. The girl was as stubborn as a Gryffindor. He hated that, when his Slytherins behaved like Gryffindors.

"Better for me to remain ignorant then, don't you think, Professor ?" Lorena said with irony. "And better for my father to remain where he is now too, I guess," she added petulantly.

"Yes, exactly, in jail !" Severus added with a cold tone. "Where he belongs !"

Lorena's face showed anger on her features. "How dare you say such a thing about my father ! You don't even know him !"

"Because jail is probably the safest place he can be for the time being !" the Potions Master retorted vividly. "If you value his life as much as you claim, then you should pray that he won't be granted that parole at all," he added with a coldness in his voice that send shivers along her spine.

"And how are you going to explain him that he should stay in jail without disclosing him the very reason as to why, Professor ? How are you going to explain him that he should stay in jail after all ? If he gets a parole, he won't even listen to you !"

She was angry at him. At the situation. She knew deep down that Severus was right. Her father had surely survived because he had been locked up these last years. But he may be released in less than three months' time. Dumbledore put a hand on her shoulder, in a calming gesture.

"Severus speaks the truth, Lorena, and you know it. However, I didn't know about that story of parole. Your father didn't mention it in his letter to me. What is it about ? Care to tell me more ?"

Lorena swallowed and sighed. She was tired of fighting. "During my last visit to him, he told me that he had applied for an early release. It means he may be freed before the end of his actual sentence. On certain conditions though, like he has to report to a parole officer and break no rules, otherwise it means he's back to jail at once. He thinks that as he had killed nobody and behaves in jail, his case may be considered. He'll have more news by the end of next month as the parole committee is to decide in late January."

Both men glanced at each other. "It's most fortunate that Severus mentioned this parole, Lorena," the Headmaster said. "If your father is to get out of jail, he'll have to be protected from Voldemort."

"That means that he will have to know why, Albus. One day or so," Severus said softly yet coldly while stroking his left forearm at the mention of his Master's name. "You can't keep a man in jail while he's entitled to walk out of it. If he has to go into hiding, he'll ask the reason why. Being hidden is like being jailed. In a gilded cage indeed. But a gilded cage still remains a cage."

"That means he will have to learn the truth about his family. Like me, he will have to… go after his Gaunt relatives. Before they go after him first," the young woman said. There was a hint of sadness in her voice. Grandma Cassie would not be happy that her offspring – son and granddaughter – had disobeyed her after all. She sighed. All this meant no good at all.

"Lorena, I can promise you that we will protect your father if he has to go out of jail. However, this is a possibility that may not happen. We have to remain calm in all this. I understand how much all this affects you. But acting under emotion won't do us any good. To any of us. Now, I suggest you have dinner. I'll check your family records more thoroughly and we'll talk about it later, when you feel better."

"I feel good enough to hear the truth, Professor," she said coldly. "I don't want to be treated like a child. I'm an adult, I'm going to be a mother, I deserve to know the truth ! Professor !"

"Oh, yes, you do deserve it," the Headmaster replied gently. "But like any reward, it comes in due time. Now, go back to your common room, have dinner and a good night's rest. Severus, take care of her."

The last person Lorena wanted to be with was the Potions Master. "I can take care of myself, Professor. Thank you for your concern."

She wanted to go out but Severus took her arm in a gentle yet firm grip. "We'll have dinner together. In the Slytherin common room. You and me." His tone was final and Lorena knew she could not do anything against his decision. Yet, she tried her luck in another way, without triggering off a fight.

"I don't compel you to baby-sit me, Professor. I can eat alone, if you have other things to do."

"No, I don't. Albus, I think you should keep the original records here while me and Miss Nottingham will work on copies."

"Provided, Severus, that you have dinner and rest. Otherwise, there's no problem in everybody giving some input. I suppose you agree, Lorena ?"

Spending the evening studying her family records would provide a nice diversion for her mind. Lorena agreed at once. Albus went back to his desk and duplicated the parchments and papers. He also told her that he would keep the whole box with the originals in his office where they would be secure. She approved.

She left the office with a stack of documents in her hand, while Severus guided her in the castle back to the Slytherin common room, his hand on her elbow as usual. She had simmered down. She was already brewing a plan as to make him talk on what he knew that she did not know yet. She had not been placed in Slytherin by chance.

* * *

Severus had asked a house elf to serve them dinner in the Slytherin common room. He enjoyed the place, above all in good company – that is, with Lorena. They had both sat on one of the comfortable sofas, in front of the hearth where he had lit a fire. The meal was on a small table in front of them. They were eating in silence.

Lorena was still silent. Silent but not sulking. Outside, she had a contended smile on her lips. Inside, she was thinking about her questions and the answers she needed. Once this determined, she pondered over the way to obtain them. She had no doubt that Severus knew much more about all this, that he had the answers she needed.

Thing was, she did not wish to resort to a certain type of behavior in order to have these answers. She had to get him talk otherwise. Aware he was not a man easily maneuverable, and even less one to make confidences on the pillow, she had to think of more subtle ways. She even considered that she may not get all her much needed answers tonight.

Severus was glad that the young woman remained silent. He appreciated that in her. Lorena was not one to talk for nothing. So he did not mind her silence that he had perfectly construed as not being sulking. He frequently eyed her up, his dark eyes detailing her body. Despite her pregnancy – or maybe thanks to it – she was still desirable. Her belly was showing now but her breasts have gained in size. He liked that and he hoped she would be still the same after giving birth.

Lorena had decided she would be just civil with him. He had chosen not to reveal information that mattered most to her – never mind. As a good Slytherin, she would find a way to know what she needed to know. In the meantime, she would do her best to avoid an argument that may end up badly for her, alone as she was with one of the most powerful wizards she knew. A Dark wizard by the way.

"Do you still wish to check the papers or do you prefer to go to bed ?" Severus asked once they were done with their meal.

"I'm fine, we can start studying them now."

"Let's focus on the papers now," he said softly.

"Let's start with the beginning," she suggested. "My grandparents' marriage certificate." She took out her wand, ready for reading.

Severus found it and read it for her. "Alright. Your grandfather, Peter Lord Nottingham, son of Francis Lord Nottingham – why do the male members of your father's family have to bear the title of 'Lord' as a middle name ?" He hoped these people were not as megalomaniac as the Dark Lord.

Lorena giggled, suddenly amused by his outspoken remark. "It's an old tradition in our family. My grandfather explained to me that's because we are descendants of the Sheriff of Nottingham, also called _Lord_ Nottingham. Since then, all the male children in our family have 'Lord' as a middle name. Similarly, the girls have 'Lady' as a middle name. I'm called Lorena _Lady_ Nottingham."

Severus remembered the names of the kids buried in the Nottingham vault. They also had 'Lord' and 'Lady' as their middle names. "Is that story true, that you're descending from that Sheriff ?"

"I don't know really but the explanation is true." She stopped as if she had just realized something. She was the last descendant. Her father's siblings had died. Her father had only one daughter. The name would die with her – and so the 'title' and the story.

Without thinking, her hand roamed over her belly. Severus had seen her gesture. Their child would be a Snape, not a Nottingham. _If we are all still alive at the end of that mess with the Dark Lord. _He thought that if he died before marrying her, then the boy would not bear his name. The name would die with him too. And so would a fine line of wizards – the Princes.

"Right. So… Peter Lord Nottingham, son of Francis Lord Nottingham and Mary Elizabeth Cornwell, born May 24th, 1915, in Upper Stratton, etc… etc… Ah, your grandmother, Cassiope Gaunt, daughter of Thaddeus Gaunt and Calpurnia…"

Lorena heard a faint gasp. "What is it, Severus ?"

"I don't believe it…" he let out softly. "I wonder if the Headmaster has noticed that."

"What is it, Severus ?"

He chuckled. "Cassiope Gaunt, daughter of Thaddeus Gaunt and Calpurnia… Malfoy."

Lorena's mouth opened. "_Malfoy_ ? Like… Draco Malfoy ?"

"The very same. All these pureblood families are not that numerous. They tend to marry between them, for those the keenest on preserving blood purity. Even those that entertain feuds, are related."

"But maybe… that Calpurnia, she's a distant relative of the Malfoys we know. A far distant relative."

"We have to check this. Well, Draco's father is Lucius, whose father was called Abraxas. I don't know any further."

"My great-grandmother was a Malfoy," Lorena said thoughtfully. "When I think that not so long ago, Draco Malfoy still considered me as a… Mudblood."

"What did you say to his parents when you came to Malfoy Manor ? I know them fairly well, at one point or another, Narcissa or Lucius must have asked you questions about your family or your blood status."

This was the first time the event was talked about. They had not spoken about it since the afternoon row they had had, that had almost ended up in rape for Lorena, and surely at the Hospital Wing for Severus.

Lorena remembered. "I played the violin for them. They liked it very much and Mr Malfoy asked me if I was related to a famous musician family in Nottingham. I don't remember their names… oh yes, the Winters. I said then that… that I was a Muggle-born." She chuckled. "I understand better now. I felt some tension then. They said nothing out of politeness."

"Politeness has nothing to do here, Lorena. Knowing Lucius like I know him, he was already planning how to have sex with you, preferably in a non-consensual manner. Narcissa was probably wondering how to make Draco understand that he could not consort with you, despite the fact you're in Slytherin and you had saved his life." Severus could not help slinging a scathing remark or two in the process, in a sarcastic package.

"Well, if now they know that we are related, they might change their minds."

Severus had followed her train of thoughts. "Forget it. Believe me, this won't change anything. Your grandmother will be considered as a blood-traitor, which rates right up with being a Muggle-born in their books. You're still a half-blood and only a half-blood. That disqualifies you for anything as far as they are concerned." Better discourage any attempt or notion of hers to get closer to Draco Malfoy…

"How come Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy do have esteem and respect for you, while you're a half-blood yourself then ?"

The logical question took Severus off-guard. "My situation is different. Me and Lucius and Narcissa, we all go back a long way."

"Care to tell me ?"

"No."

"Ah, okay, no problem. I respect that." She paused, a smirk on her lips. One more thing to know, though not so much a priority in her long list of questions. "I'll be delighted to tell Draco, when he's back from the holidays, that we are distant relatives but still relatives anyway. Can't wait !"

Severus grabbed her arms in his powerful hands. "No, you won't !"

Another outburst of violence in the making. Lorena was used to them – even if she loathed them. "Why not ?" she asked with utmost cold-blood.

"You shall do as we tell you !"

"_We_ ?"

"Me or the Headmaster."

"On what grounds ?"

"On the grounds that Dumbledore is the Headmaster and I'm your Head of House."

"This is not a school matter, _Professor_," she replied coldly, reverting to his title again, to mark the distance. "Now, let go of me."

"Your safety is a matter of the utmost importance to us, school or not ! Your father entrusted you to Dumbledore, Dumbledore entrusted you to me. Oh, do I need to remind you that the Dark Lord also entrusted you to my care ?"

"Let. Go. Of. Me, Professor," Lorena repeated between clenched teeth.

Severus smirked. "You like it, when I hold you that way."

Lorena turned her head away from him, in sign of disagreement. Dumbledore was right : they could not remain together very long without quarreling like an old married couple. Save they were not an old married couple. They were not married and sometimes, Lorena could not help thinking that they were not even a couple. At least, they did not really function like one should.

Severus was still holding her firmly, his hands gripping her arms. "You're so beautiful when you're angry, Lorena," he said eventually, but this time, there was no more sarcasm in his voice. There was only lust.

She still had her head turned away. Severus got closer and began to kiss her neck thus offered. Lorena closed her eyes in appreciation. He could be horrible with her but he still kissed divinely well.

"You like it when I kiss you, Lorena," he whispered. "I can feel your body respond, even if you say 'no'."

"I do say 'no', Professor. Now leave me al…" Severus did not leave her the time to finish her sentence. His lips were on hers, in a sensual caress. It was not long before his tongue made its way between her lips, searching her mouth in a possessive kiss. His hands left her arms to round her waist, holding her tight against his own body.

She managed to break the kiss. "Do not tempt me in using my magic against you, Professor. Accidental outbursts do happen, you know that," she said coldly.

Severus smirked again. Yet, he let go of her. Lorena moved away from him. "I'm tired, Professor. I'm going to bed and have an early night." She began to gather the various papers to collect them. He let her do, gathering that he'd better not insist for the evening. Lorena took the papers with her and left straight for her dorm. "Goodnight, Professor," she said coldly before closing the door behind her.

Severus heard her set up a ward on the door. Oh, he could have disabled it quickly but he understood it meant she did not wish his company for the rest of the night. He sighed. Why were women so difficult ? Why could they not understand what was told to them and just… not make a fuss about it ?

He sighed again and left for his quarters. There was no way for him to pine over a blind, 18-years-old girl he had made pregnant.

* * *

_**I used another role of Alan Rickman, as the Sheriff of Nottingham, to describe Lorena's **__**father's family. Just a play over the situation. In the movie **_**Robin Hood : Prince of Thieves**_**, it is said that the Sheriff of Nottingham's mother is a witch. For sure, whatever her lineage, truth or legend, Lorena is no longer a Muggle-born.**_

___**Severus and Lorena's relationship is still shaky - still arguing like an old married couple...**____** I like that expression.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	82. A fine day for a proposition

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**8****2 – A fine day for a proposition**

On the morning after, Lorena woke up fine. She had fallen asleep the night before quickly, tired after all the events of the day. She had stored her grandmother's wand and the papers in her trunk, before putting on her nightgown and going to bed. She had wanted to think about all this but sleep took over her quickly.

So, she felt wonderful after a good night's sleep. She asked a house elf to bring her some breakfast. She put on a plain dress, then a wool surcoat to keep warm, before donning her school robes that were still an extra protective layer.

She ate her breakfast quietly. The sun had managed to find its way between the clouds. A ray fell on the floor, filtering through the windows. Lorena could not see all this yet she wondered what the weather was outside. She went there and opened a window.

The air was chilly but there was no rain or sleet or snow falling. The young woman decided to open the three windows of her dorm. More chilly air entered the room but she did not care. It felt good. She could hear the owls in the distance, the sound of the lake whose water was gently rippling against the castle walls. This part of the lake was not taken by ice.

She took a deep breath. She heard something like a clapping sound in the distance, as if someone was bathing and hitting the water surface. _Who could bathe in this season ?_ she wondered with a breezy smile on her lips. _Who cares ? _The answer was not so important.

Lorena decided to have a bit of music to start her day. She took her violin out of its case and tuned it before starting playing, seating on the window sill. Soon a tender tune came out of the instrument, with a mix of nostalgia and tenderness. A piece of work she had heard when she had stayed at Spinner's End before they came back… because of what he had done to her. Drugging her to have sex with her.

Her heart felt heavy when thinking about it. The sex had been wonderful, Severus had been real sensual and loving then. Yet, this was not love. Just lust. She had accepted his lust, taking part in it just because he had conveniently drugged her with the Elixir. No, it had not been love at all. Yet, he remained a wonderful lover – when he was not brutal and selfish.

The grim thought made her play with more sadness, giving the tune a deeper feeling. When she was done, she heard a clapping sound coming from the lake. Someone was bathing there. She heard another splashing sound, closer this time. She was at the window when she felt something wet, cold and alive touching her arm. Lorena shrieked at the contact before realizing what it could be.

_The giant squid._ She had perceived through the brief physical contact that the creature did not mean harm. She laughed at herself for her scare before playing again. The creature must have heard her and had come to the castle where the sound was coming from. Her elemental magic had enabled her to establish a contact with the creature, even for a brief moment. Hagrid had told her once that the giant squid was a magical creature too, almost sentient. Thinking of it, no student had ever been harmed by it. Some first-year students had even been put back into the small boats by the giant squid on their way to the castle on September 1st, when the weather had been rough on the lake. The creature followed them, ready to save the kids that may have fallen overboard.

Lorena had never bathed in the lake. Yet, her magic had touched the animal. Her music had. She played another tune, just to please the squid. The animal splashed its tentacles around in the water when she was finished, surely in sign of appreciation. Lorena giggled. She moved her arm out in the void, to make a physical contact with the creature. She felt a suction cup on her hand, touching her gently before returning to the water in a great splashing sound.

Lorena felt good suddenly. The tender sadness of the tune she had just played had gone thanks to the kind attention of a caring creature.

Yes, it was a fine day.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore was in his office. He had had a shorter night as he had spent most of his evening studying the papers Lorena and Severus had brought him back. He had read them carefully and noted things that had seemed strange to him. Now he was reading his notes again.

His understanding of the evening before had not changed. On the contrary. Albus was more and more convinced that indeed, the two kids and the grandmother had been murdered.

He failed to gather the motives behind these murders though. Well, almost. He had an idea of who could have killed these people – only Dark wizards could have used the _Avada Kedavra_ so cold-bloodedly against innocent people. _But for what purpose ?_

He had also discovered something that promised to be interesting too. Like Severus and Lorena on their side, he had read that Cassiope Gaunt's mother had been a Malfoy. A certain Calpurnia Malfoy. He could not help chuckling when thinking about the young Malfoy mocking Lorena about her birth. If the boy only knew !

He was there in his thoughts when he heard Professor McGonagall entering his office, a house elf behind her. "Yes, Minerva ?"

"Good morning, Albus. Just coming here to have breakfast with you."

"Oh, well, excellent, Minerva. Good idea." He had tried to be cheerful but Minerva was no fool. Though not a Legilimens, she could read on his face that he was preoccupied. They sat in silence and began to eat.

"So Albus, anything new ? I mean, about Miss Nottingham ?"

"Yes, she brought back information from her grandmother's house. I discovered that her great-grandmother was a Malfoy."

"A Malfoy ? How interesting." Minerva had a thoughtful expression on her face. "When I think that Mr Malfoy Jr spent his time insulting her about her birth. Though it had been quite some time since he had not done so. Since…"

"Since the attack on Hogsmeade. I've been told that he had even been civil to her since the Halloween Ball."

"True. I suppose that Miss Nottingham and Severus have noticed this detail, about her grandmother being half a Malfoy. Albus, do you intend to inform the Malfoy family of their new family member ?"

"I don't think this is the right time to do so, Minerva. Actually, the girl is still considered as a Muggle-born. Now, I think I understand better why she had been sorted into Slytherin. Both Malfoys and Gaunts were known to be Slytherin families."

"I don't think this is the reason for her being placed there, Albus. The Sorting Hat is a mysterious magical artifact. It may have placed her in Slytherin for a whole another reason. Her qualities, for example."

"Lorena claims that she's been sorted into Slytherin because she _needed_ to be there. I must admit that I fail to understand what she means when saying so," the Headmaster said softly.

"Have you seen Severus by the way ?" Minerva asked.

"No, not yet. I'll talk to him anyway. You know how precious his input is to me."

Minerva smiled at the old wizard. "I know that. He's like a son to you."

Dumbledore sighed. "Yes. That's why he worries me a bit. Things don't seem to be going fine between him and Lorena. They keep on arguing like an old married couple. Yet, I can feel it : they are not a couple."

"And that saddens you."

"Yes."

"Albus, you know Severus like I do. You know how he is, how difficult he can be sometimes. I wonder how a young girl like Miss Nottingham can… can accept him as he is. She seems to be so submissive to him."

Albus' steely blue eyes rested on his Deputy. Submissiveness was not a Gryffindor trait – they had a hard time with that type of behavior, both belonging to the Lion House. "I don't think she's that submissive to him, Minerva. Severus is the dominant kind, he would not have problems handling a submissive woman. That's probably the reason why things are not going smoothly between them. She's young but not submissive and even less stupid. She's a Slytherin. I think the main reason is that she just loves him and Severus cannot handle her feelings on his own. He's rather unsettled by them. On that plan, she's stronger, more powerful than him."

Minerva looked at him thoughtfully. "Obviously." She sighed. "Severus has never been able to express his feelings. Do you remember when he was still a student here ? When he was in love with Lily Evans ? It took him years to get over her wedding to James Potter and her death. A girl to whom he had never been able to tell his feelings. A girl, I'm sure, he had even never kissed like a boyfriend can do."

"Yes, I agree." Albus did remember all this. He knew that Severus had entered to his service as a spy on the Dark Lord because of that love for Lily. The young man had promised he would do _anything_ for the Headmaster, in exchange of Lily's protection, as well as that of her son and husband. Dumbledore had even made him take an Unbreakable Vow with him, in order to secure that promise.

When Lily and her family had died, the blow had been hard. Severus had suffered immensely. But he kept on doing his sworn duty to the Headmaster. The Unbreakable Vow was still valid, whether Lily had died or not. The young man had been devastated then but time had been a great healer.

Albus was not sure whether Severus could be able to love again. Clearly not. The young woman was in love with the Potions Master, that was pretty obvious. But her love was unrequited. Hence the tension between them. The coming of a child would not arrange things either. That war on their shoulders to them all, the perspective of their own death, generated a lot of pressure to manage.

The wizard sighed. There were some days he felt old and weary.

A swooshing sound in the hearth place informed Albus that someone was trying to contact him through the Floo. He came closer to the hearth grate to see a handsome male face talking to him.

"Lucius Malfoy," the Headmaster said calmly. "Good morning."

"Good morning, Professor Dumbledore. I need to talk to you now. Not a very important thing, yet one that requires to be sorted out quickly. May I step in to see you ?"

Albus tried to look as little annoyed as possible. _Not important business yet… urgent ? Oh well, better get it out of my way. _"Sure thing, Lucius, you may come in."

The Headmaster stepped back to allow his guest to step in. Albus watched Minerva with a tired face. Yes, there were some days he felt older and wearier than others.

"A visit, Albus ?" Minerva asked.

"Lucius Malfoy's coming, Minerva. I'd like you to stay," he replied, anticipating her question as if she had to leave or not.

Green flames appeared in the hearth place, and Lucius Malfoy stepped into the office. He was on his best, as usual. He greeted the Headmaster as well as Minerva.

Albus went to his desk. Lorena's paperwork was there. He began to put them into a stack in a nonchalant gesture, as not to attract too much attention on documents he did not wish Malfoy to have a look at.

"What can I do for you, Lucius ?" he asked gently.

"It won't be long, Headmaster. I didn't come here on my quality of Governor of the Board. I have a favor to ask you."

"A favor ?" Albus echoed. Well, things could prove interesting after all. Lucius Malfoy asking a favor…

"Yes. A few days ago, me and Narcissa met one of Draco's housemates. A young lady. She went to have lunch to Malfoy Manor with us. During our meeting, she played us some of the most delicious music I had the pleasure to hear. I'd like to know if it's possible for me to have her for a party we organize for New Year's Eve in my home place."

Albus knew which student it was all about. "Maybe the student in question is gone home for the holidays, Lucius. Some students leave a few days after the end of the term sometimes, you know."

"Draco told me that she must have stayed here as she had nowhere else to go. No family, as he told me. Her name is Miss Lorena Nottingham."

Albus Dumbledore exchanged a quick glance with Minerva. At this point, he had to be careful. He did not wish to see a student he had to protect from the Dark Lord, having to go to a Death-Eater's home place. "I see who you mean. A talented student indeed. A very good musician. I can see that Narcissa has a real artistic taste. I mean it."

"Is she here ?" Malfoy said with a detached yet determined tone.

It could be easy for Dumbledore to lie to Lucius Malfoy and tell the girl was off somewhere. Yet, it may put Severus – whom the Dark Lord had entrusted the girl to – in a very awkward position. "She's here, _safe_ at Hogwarts." He had emphasized the word 'safe'. Just in case Malfoy Sr would say a word to his Master about how the girl was looked after. Severus would not be in danger.

"We want her for a private concert at Malfoy Manor. I must add that her performance will be paid."

"I don't think that Miss Nottingham is driven by money, Lucius. However, I cannot vouch for her. We have to ask her first if she agrees to your proposition. Then, if she does, there will be some conditions set."

"Conditions ?"

Albus peered at him with his steely blue gaze. The usual twinkle had disappeared. "The girl is blind. Someone has to accompany her."

"I can accompany her," Lucius said.

"No. Her father has entrusted her to _me_. I shall not let her go without someone from our School." He paused, time for him to assess Malfoy's reaction. None. "I have entrusted her to Severus, as he's her Head of House. He shall accompany her, provided she agrees to your proposition first."

"I understand. It reassures me that you have her best interests at heart. Maybe we could ask her now ?"

Apparently, Lucius had agreed to the Headmaster's conditions. "I have _all_ my students' best interests at heart, Lucius," Albus replied coldly. "Minerva, please could you go and bring back Severus and Miss Nottingham here ? Please inform them that Lucius Malfoy is here and we need to talk to her."

"Yes, Headmaster," the Transfiguration professor said before leaving the office. She had understood the silent order that she would have to explain the situation to the Potions Master and the young woman before they entered the Headmaster's office.

"Lucius, make yourself comfortable. What about some tea ?" Albus suggested, with a smug look on his face. "How's dear Narcissa ? And Draco ?" His conversational tone sounded meek and innocent. But inside, Albus Dumbledore was ready to fight.

* * *

_**I fully support the theory stating there was an Unbreakable Vow between Severus and Albus, for the infamous 'Anything' promise, made in exchange of Lily's and her family's protection. **_

_**What will be Lorena's reaction to Lucius Malfoy's proposition ?**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	83. A very Slytherin deal

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**8****3 – A very Slytherin deal**

Minerva had first stopped by Severus' office. The Potions Master opened the door and let her in. She explained him briefly who was now in the Headmaster's office and why.

"I hope that he won't let her go there on her own," he asked, concern in his voice.

"Thanks Merlin, no, Severus ! Albus wants you to accompany her – provided she accepts Mr Malfoy's proposition first."

Severus sighed. Out of relief. Well, almost. He was relieved that the Headmaster had set up conditions. Conditions that Lucius had accepted apparently. "The girl's in her dorm. Let's get there."

He led Minerva to the Slytherin common room. Minerva almost never came here. She had nothing to do here, aware that Slytherin business rested in the Head of Slytherin's hands – Professsor Severus Snape. After all, Severus never meddled in Gryffindor internal business either. He meddled enough with Gryffindors in general – docking points from the Lion House and doling out detentions to its members – to Minerva's great dismay over the sometimes abysmal losses of points her own House incurred. Just out of prejudices and old grudges held by the Potions Master against that House in particular.

Severus knocked at the dorm door. Some music could be heard from inside. Severus glanced at Minerva and opened the door without further notice. The flow of music invaded their ears.

The young woman was playing the violin nearby an opened window. All the windows were opened and despite the sun entering the room, the air was chilly. However, Lorena seemed to have great fun in playing the fast-paced _Contradanza_ on her instrument. Splashing sounds could be heard from the outside.

"Miss Nottingham !" Severus bellowed to make himself heard over the music.

Lorena stopped playing suddenly and turned her head towards the voice. Minerva went to a window and saw that the giant squid was just under the dorm windows. She was surprised. Severus closed the windows with a quick movement of his wand. He did not close the window where Lorena was still sitting. A big tentacle had just entered the room through the window. Closing the window would just sever the tentacle and harm the creature.

Severus aimed his wand at the tentacle. "Miss Nottingham, move away at once !"

Lorena was blind but she perceived his intention. "No, Professor ! There's no harm done !" She did not move away. She even patted the tentacle now on her shoulder. "Yes, my friend, now I must go away. You have to go back to the lake. Goodbye, giant squid !"

The tentacle removed itself with a horrible yet funny noise of suction that sounded like a very wet kiss. Minerva could not help smiling, aware that the student could not see her. She put her hand on Severus' arm to make him lower his wand. "Let go, Severus, it's okay. She's not in danger with the giant squid. Nobody is."

Severus did as told – slowly. He had reacted nervously. He felt nervous. He did not like at all that story of Lorena going to Malfoy Manor. Draco may be a friend, he was a housemate. But Lucius… Severus knew Lucius was not a Muggle-lover at all.

"Thank you, Professor McGonagall. I was just playing for the giant squid which had been nice enough to pay me a visit."

With a flick of his wand, Severus closed the window. "The Headmaster wishes to see us. Now," he just said sternly.

Lorena felt something was wrong with him. Had Dumbledore found something strange in the paperwork they had brought back ? "Yes, certainly, Professor." She took her violin and bow and put them on her bed.

"You should not have opened all the windows like that, Miss Nottingham," Minerva said. "It's cold here now. What were you thinking, in your condition ?"

Lorena knew better. She lowered her head ; a fire was lit in the hearth place, as her mute comment. Minerva knew that the young woman had done it. Severus watched her, his face unreadable. He knew she could do that. He took her by the elbow to lead her out.

"Wait, Severus," Minerva said. She went to Lorena and checked her outfit. "Right, that's decent. Mr Malfoy is to see you in the Headmaster's office. Of course, he should not know you are _that_ _much _pregnant." Lorena nodded. The Transfiguration professor knew about the whole story. The young woman was almost 6-month along while she was supposed to be almost three only… "I cast you a local Notice-Me-Not spell, Miss Nottingham, so that your belly won't show too much."

"Thank you, Professor. You're like a mother to me." Her remark was genuine and she smiled at the old witch. Severus rolled his eyes.

"I try to be a mother to all the students, Miss Nottingham. At least to those that need it. It's pretty obvious that a male Head of House cannot be a mother to his students." Her reply was a gentle scold in reply to Severus' snarl.

"I'm a Head of House, not a mother hen, Minerva," Severus said gruffly. Lorena stifled a smile. All the older students knew about the friendly banter that went on between the two professors.

They arrived in front of the gargoyle keeping the Headmaster's office access. "Remember, Miss Nottingham, you have the choice," Minerva said firmly. "You have nothing to fear, your professors and the Headmaster are with you. You may refuse Mr Malfoy's proposition."

"Thank you, Professor."

"Right. _Acid Pops_," Minerva gave the password to the gargoyle that let them three in. "Albus' idea," she said to explain the weird password.

_Dumbledore and his __lemon sweets_, Severus thought sourly. He still had her elbow in his hand. The staircase led them three up to the office door. Minerva entered the place, followed by Severus and Lorena.

"You wished to see us, Headmaster," the younger wizard asked while leading Lorena into the office.

"Ah, Severus, yes. Please, Miss Nottingham, have a seat."

Lorena perceived that the Headmaster had addressed her very formally. He did not wish to be seen as too close to her in front of Lucius Malfoy.

"Miss Nottingham, I believe that you already met Mr Lucius Malfoy."

"Indeed, Professor. Good morning, Mr Malfoy," she said with a shy smile. She just wanted to look polite and civil. She lowered her gaze in case he may try Legilimency on her. She Occluded her mind at once. One was never too prudent.

"Miss Nottingham," Malfoy replied equally. He eyed her up in a way that displeased Severus most.

"Miss Nottingham, Mr Malfoy here has a proposition for you," Albus said. "Go on, Lucius."

"My wife Narcissa was thoroughly impressed by your musical talent, Miss. She would like to have you to entertain our New Year's Eve party."

Lorena was surprised. She did not expect that. "Well, thank you, Mr Malfoy."

"I was impressed too. We would like very much to have you for that evening."

Lorena kept her eyes trained ahead of her. She was thinking fast. She felt uncomfortable at the proposition. She still had Severus' words in mind about the Malfoys' hatred of Muggle-borns. Going to their home place was probably not a good idea. Besides, she did not wish to be under the close scrutiny of a nest of Death-Eaters, in her condition.

"Do I need to say that you shall be paid for that evening too ?"

Lorena was not driven by money. She was well aware that the Malfoys, father and son, thought that every thing could be bought. _Better play it like this though_, she thought.

"How much, sir ?"

"One thousand galleons. Five hundreds now. Five hundreds on completion of your performance."

Lorena remained unreadable, her gaze still in the void. That was a big amount of money indeed – at least for her. "Who will be your guests, I mean, what type of guests ?"

Lucius had a small smirk. He knew he had caught her attention. "Mostly family. A few friends. About forty people, all in all. We already have about thirty confirmed replies."

Her mind was still racing fast. _Family ? That means that there might be some people that could… _She thought about her last night's discovery. _Some people of the Malfoy family may know about that great-grandmother of mine._ "Are you aware that I play rather nostalgic or sad pieces ? Love themes and romantic stuff, not specifically joyful tunes on which you can dance all night long."

"I'm aware you play divinely well, Miss Nottingham. I know you'll bewitch my guests with your music. Don't worry about making my guests joyful. I have enough spirits in my cellar for that purpose. We just want to hear your music again. A new talent to show is always a pleasure."

Whether he was in sincere admiration or not, did not matter to Lorena. She made a quick decision. If Severus or Dumbledore could not provide her with the answers she needed, the only way to get them would be to go back to the Malfoys themselves. In a very Slytherin fashion, Lorena had laid out her scheme. "I accept, Mr Malfoy. I'd be delighted to entertain your family and guests. Do you have a piano ?"

"You can play the piano as well ?" he asked.

"Yes, I can. I will play both the piano and the violin. My program will be about thirty to forty-five minutes long."

Inside, Severus was seething. In his usual spy fashion, he did not show it but he wondered if the girl had not gotten mad suddenly.

"That's perfect. I can arrange to have a piano for you, Miss," Lucius said. "Narcissa will be delighted to know you'll come."

Albus had said nothing up to now. "Lucius, remember that I set conditions."

Lucius Malfoy turned towards the Headmaster. "Of course, Professor. Severus is to come with her. No problem. We'll be happy to welcome the both of you in our home. You won't have to leave our place just after your performance, Miss. We have enough rooms to accommodate you and Severus."

_So that you may try your luck with her_, the Potions Master thought. _Is she crazy ? How couldn't she see the game he's playing ? _He was in a rage. He had perceived that she was determined. _Determined for what ?_ He knew she was not driven by money or desire for recognition or fame. _What's driving her now ? _

"The matter's sorted out then," Malfoy said while plunging his hand under his cloak. "These are the first 500 galleons. I don't know if you have any bank account at Gringotts, as you don't come from a wizarding family. Now's the occasion to open one."

Lorena just muttered a 'thank-you'. She would not say her grandmother had indeed an account at Gringotts. That would have meant too many things. When the girl had enrolled in Hogwarts, Cassiope Gaunt Nottingham had opened an account for her granddaughter. To make school purchases easier for the girl, Cassiope made regular bank drafts there, in small amounts. She had made a special provision with the goblins at the bank, that when she died, all her Gringotts assets be transferred to the girl's own account. Gringotts had been the only tie to the wizarding world that Cassiope Gaunt had never severed. She knew the goblins would keep her secret as faithfully as they kept their vaults. It may prove useful one day or so after all. She had been wise as the future proved her right.

Severus did not know about all this but he suspected that the girl had an arrangement of some sort. He made a mental note to ask her about this. He was glad to see that she had remained mute in front of Lucius Malfoy as to this arrangement. She knew when to be silent – that was a quality of hers he greatly praised deep inside of him.

"We'll take care of that matter ourselves, Lucius. Don't worry," Albus replied for the girl. Contrary to Severus, he was fully aware of the existence of that bank account at Gringotts. He wondered what had prompted Lorena to accept Malfoy's proposition, despite the risks for her. He would ask his spy to keep a very close watch over the young woman. Something told him that she had not accepted out of greed or whatever. She had a plan. She had a purpose. _Well, she's a Slytherin._

"If everything's settled, then, fine. I will owl you the details about the time you may come. I suppose you'd wish to come earlier to test the piano, Miss Nottingham ?"

"Indeed," she replied, all business. "I appreciate that, sir."

"Excellent. Professor McGonagall, Headmaster, I bid you goodbye. Severus, Miss Nottingham, we'll see each other on New Year's Eve, in three days' time." He did not even wait for the replies from the others. He threw some Floo powder in the hearth grate, said "Malfoy Manor !" and stepped into the green flames.

Lorena was aware that her decision had displeased her Head of House. She did not care. She was driven by her intense desire to get the answers she needed and was denied. Of course, she would not tell them about that scheme of hers. She sent all notions about it behind thick layers of thoughts and memories of previous concerts. She trusted her Occlumency skills. If she had managed to fool the Dark Lord, she could fool the Headmaster, Lucius Malfoy and the other Death-Eaters. As for Severus… things were different, as far as he was concerned.

Albus locked the Floo. He did not wish Lucius to step back in for a last minute request or whatever. Severus was the first to react once Albus had made sure they would not be interrupted.

"What possessed you to accept his proposition, Miss Nottingham ?" he said with a seething anger.

Lorena expected this outburst of his. She knew that in presence of two powerful Legilimenses like Albus and Severus, she would have to be careful. She Occluded her mind even more tighter. "You said I had the choice, sir."

"Professor McGonagall did. Not me ! Why did you accept his proposition ? Didn't you heed my words, last time you went there ? Are you aware you're going back into the lion's den ?"

He was in a rage. Lorena remained quiet. She knew why he was so angry. "In the lion's den ? Not very appropriate for a Slytherin family," she quipped.

Minerva remained unflappable but she had understood the younger witch's reference. Albus' twinkle was back in his steely blue eyes.

"Keep your wit for you, Miss Nottingham !" the Potions Master said between clenched teeth. "Stupid decision !"

"Yet, if you allow me, Professor, it's _my_ decision. I'm an adult. I can handle that."

"Handle that ? You don't know who's going to be there and you imagine you can handle _that_ ? You have no idea what '_that_' is going to be ! A bunch of Death-Eaters and Muggle-born haters !"

"Severus, you'll be there," Albus interrupted. "She's not going alone, we all know where she's going to be. She'll be in a party, surrounded by about forty people or so. Nothing will happen. Yet, I have a question for you, young lady," he said addressing Lorena. "What are your motives for accepting Malfoy's proposition ?"

At this point, Lorena knew her mind would be probed. She closed it to its maximum. "Several motives, Professor. I think I need to change air. Playing music is always a good occasion for me to go out. I'm not driven by money but I must admit that earning some thanks to my music, well, may prove an interesting experience."

Albus tried to enter her mind. He did. All he could see were images of previous concerts she had given, including the Summer concert at Hogwarts, after Severus had come back from a particularly dreadful summon. Images of her father being handed over some money after a gig, in her presence when she was a little girl. The Headmaster was aware that she had Occluded her mind and he did not insist. The Potions Master may have more luck in getting answers from her.

"I hope there are no other reasons," he said gently yet firmly.

Lorena remained silent. She had gathered what he meant. The Malfoy connection to her own family. _He knows ! He noticed it !_ "No, sir. Not that I can think of now." It was not exactly a lie.

Severus had followed the exchange with interest. He decided to make a bold move – as the Headmaster had decided not to. "Even the matter of our little discovery yesterday evening ?" he asked in a silky, low, purring voice that most of the time announced danger.

"Listen, gentlemen, Miss Nottingham was given a choice, she made it. I suggest we leave her alone on this matter," Minerva said. "If her decision does not suit you, why didn't you send Lucius Malfoy packing in the first place ? Albus ?"

The Headmaster had to reckon that his Deputy had a point. "What did you discover, Severus ?" Albus asked.

"It appears there's a family connection between Cassiope Gaunt and the Malfoys, Headmaster."

Albus sat on his chair behind his desk. "So you noticed it too…"

"So that means that you're part of their family then," the Transfiguration professor said. "The Malfoys are known to stick together as a family. They do not harm one of theirs."

_N__ow that's interesting_, Lorena thought. She knew she had made the right move in accepting Lucius Malfoy's proposition to play at his party. Of course, she would not barge in stating she was a distant relative of the family. Yet, in due time, informing them she was, would prove useful. "Yes, looks like, Professor," she replied laconically.

"Lorena," Dumbledore said gently, "we don't want you to get into trouble. Nobody here wants this."

"I won't get into trouble, Professor. I can assure you I won't. Especially if Professor Snape is with me. I trust him totally." She meant it.

"Then, Miss Nottingham, if you trust me totally, I firmly enjoin you to obey me once we set foot at Malfoy Manor. I can't ask Lucius the list of his guests. So we'll have to be extra careful. I dare hope you'll do _anything_ I'll ask you to do. Is that clear ?"

"Severus is right, Lorena. You'll have to do everything he'll tell you to do. Do I have your word on that ?"

Lorena did not wish to lie to the Headmaster. "I'll do my best, sir."

"Your best is not enough. Do I have your word you'll obey Severus ?" His tone was harsher this time.

Lorena nodded. She had to say something. Quick. "I'll obey Sev… Professor Snape." Her fingers were crossed under her school robes.

Albus sighed. "Right. This is not to prevent your freedom but to ensure your safety."

"I understand, Headmaster," Lorena said meekly while uncrossing her fingers. Of course, she had no intention in obeying Severus if his orders were to prevent her from accessing the truth. "As long as my safety is not a concern, I consider I'm free to do as I deem best then."

_The little…_ The derogative word did not even made it to Severus' mind. _So Slytherin,_ he thought with a mix of pride and discontent over her stubbornness.

Lorena wished to leave now but she had to wait for the Headmaster to dismiss her. She did not even try to have answers to the two most important questions that roamed her mind : 1) the true nature of the family connection between her great-grandmother and the Malfoys she knew ; 2) why a sixteen-years-old boy, of the Gaunt family, the future Dark Lord, called himself the 'Heir of Slytherin' – what did that mean ?

She hoped her little stay at the Malfoys would help her get these answers. Well, it was worth taking the risk.

"I guess we'll find you in the Room of Requirement to practice," the older wizard said eventually.

"Yes, sir."

"Well, off you go. I don't want you to disappoint Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy. You have to earn those galleons after all," Dumbledore said with humor.

Lorena smiled at him, showing him she had understood he meant fun. "Yes, sir. I'll do my best to uphold the School honor."

"Right. Oh, by the way, I'll reply to your father, about his request. I'll tell him that we have your best interests at heart of course. It's important to reassure him that you won't go after your Gaunt relatives. Of course, you would not like me to lie to your father, wouldn't you ?"

That was an unfair blow. Lorena just bit her lower lip. "No, sir."

"Good. I'll also tell him that you had told us about his parole. I need him to know that we will follow this up. He has to tell you or me when he is a free man – if he is granted that parole. Severus was right when he said that the safest place for your father is still the jail. Yet, we cannot prevent a man to walk out of prison once freed."

"Are you going to tell him everything, sir ?" Lorena asked, a hint of panic in her voice.

"No, not yet. No need to alarm him if he has to stay inside. Let's say, just preparing the path in case he's to be out. If you see what I mean."

"Of course, Professor."

"Now you may go, Lorena. Any message to your father ?"

Lorena paused a second or two. "Yes, please, Professor. Just tell him… tell him that I think about him. A lot."

The old wizard smiled at her. "I certainly will. Severus, bring her to the Room of Requirement, will you ?"

* * *

**_I love the Giant Squid - the small bit about it saving a first-year boy (one of the Creevey brothers, I think) from the lake tempest, in the books, was touching. So I use the creature here too. Just for fun. The image and the sound of it played in my mind, I had to write it down ! It would not let me rest otherwise. _**

**_So, Lorena is on the war path towards the truth. Well, she's a Slytherin alright. And Lucius is still so useful to make Severus even more nervous and cranky than he is already ! _**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	84. My heart belongs to me

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**8****4 – My heart belongs to me**

Lorena had asked Severus to go back to the Slytherin dorm to fetch her violin. The Potions Master had said no, on account that it would involve a lot of stairs to climb up and down. He would lead her to the Room of Requirement and he would come back with her instrument. She could still practice the piano there in the meantime. Lorena had looked doubtful – she still remembered the incident when he had confiscated her precious violin. But Severus had sounded so much concerned about her health and that of their son, that she gave in to his idea.

She began to play all the piano pieces she knew she would perform at the Malfoys. The pieces that she had played that Summer in the concert at Hogwarts. She began to list them in her mind. The love theme. The _Summertime_ song. The _Pavane_. She also added another love song she had heard on the radio at Spinner's End, the _Almost Lover_ that she had already sung to Severus, on that fateful morning when he had forced himself on her, as well as a charming piece that Professor Flitwick had made the Hogwarts choir sing several years ago, entitled _In Noctem_. She had adapted it for the piano then.

She had already resolved that she would alternate between violin and piano. They were slow pieces that would last overall about twenty minutes. Then she thought about the violin pieces she would play : the _Contradanza_, the _Adagio for Strings_, _Ashokan Farewell_, _Remembrances_, a love theme called _The Contempt_, another theme entitled _In Winter_.

Severus came back not only with the violin but with a few scores as well whose titles he had recognized. Lorena was relieved to hear him come back. She could trust him – well, her trust in him was back _a little_.

"I brought you a few scores, in case you may need them."

"Thank you, Professor." Lorena was blind, she memorized her tunes. But as the _Yod Legimeo_ spell could read her scores, she referred to them in case of doubt.

"Will you play what you had played last Summer ?" Severus asked, alluding to the concert she had given here.

"Along the same lines, yes," Lorena said. "I've added a few extra pieces I've worked on. I need to check the total playing time but I think it should add up to about forty or forty-five minutes as announced."

She did not invite him to stay or leave. She just began to play on the piano the five pieces she had selected.

"That makes up for about fifteen minutes," Severus said after looking at his pocket watch.

"Oh, fine. I think I can stretch the violin pieces for the remaining thirty minutes or so. Maybe the audience will ask for a recall. I don't know. But I don't think that Mr and Mrs Malfoy will mind."

"No, I don't think so. I know I won't."

"Thank you, Professor, for your support," she said with a smile.

_You don't fool me, Lorena. I don't__ know what you're up to, but you're up to something_, the Potions Master thought. "I support your music, not your decision to go to that party at Malfoy Manor."

Lorena sighed. She knew they were heading towards another argument. This time, she had decided she would not let him have purchase over her. "Listen, Professor, this is MY decision. I've given MY word to Mr Malfoy, I'll abide by it. Besides, you'll be there too. You won't have to fret over my being there as you'll be there. What is done, is done. No need to come back over it. I'm not one to cry over spilled milk – and nothing has been spilled here, not even blood," she added with a decidedly scornful tone.

"I still don't like it. You've forgotten what I had told you last time you'd been there. Remember ?"

"Oh, I remember you wanted to have your way with me nearby the Forest !" she exclaimed petulantly.

"You forgot that you and me are nothing against a whole bunch of Death-Eaters guests !"

"You don't know that, Professor, I mean you don't know what kind of guests there will be. Mr Malfoy mentioned family. I doubt all of his family are Death-Eaters."

"All of his family hate Muggle-borns like you !"

"But we both know that I am not a Muggle-born." She sighed. "Severus." She had come back to his given name, maybe it would soothe him as she suspected that the true reason for his behavior had nothing to do with danger and Death-Eaters and Muggle-born hatred. "I don't want to fight with you on this. I need to rehearse and I want to do it in quiet. I'm sorry but I will end up telling you off if you don't stop acting like a child…"

"A child ?" he roared. "You are the child ! You're the one behaving like a child ! And I'll have to be the bodyguard of a child !"

Lorena began to feel angry after him. "I'm no longer a child, Severus. I'm an adult. I'm carrying your baby. You didn't treat me like a child when you… forced yourself on me ! I was not considered like a child when I was fed to the Dark Lord for his purposes ! So stop considering me like a child just because you're the teacher and me a student ! Unless your motives for talking like this are far remote from the due concern given to a child !"

"What do you mean ?" he snarled.

She smirked at him. "I think your motives are not what they appear to be. I think you're… jealous." She had said it.

The room became deathly quiet. Lorena knew she had hit home. She could not see him – all color had suddenly left his sallow face. He was pallid.

"Now, Severus, I have some unfinished business here. Either you act as an adult and you may stay. Either you may sulk but you do it outside. Like we say in the entertainment industry : there's no longer entertainment when there's no longer an audience."

"You dare ! You little…"

"… blind, filthy Mudblood whore ? Is it what you wanted to say ?" she was almost mocking.

This was more than he could contain. Severus seized her arms in a raging fit. Lorena did not flinch this time. Through the physical contact, she could perceive all his anger and jealousy. She perceived that he was dragged in a complete maelstrom of emotions. She was fed up with his violent outbursts. If he could not understand her decisions, life would be really hard with him – despite her loving him unconditionally.

"Get. Out," she said coldly between clenched teeth.

Feeling he could do to her something he may regret forever – once again – Severus released her and stormed out of the room. Lorena released a deep breath as well as the sob that was stuck in her throat.

Lorena buried her face in her hands. Going to the Malfoys would not be the only decision she would have taken today. Her relationship with Severus was too difficult for her to handle. They would kill each other one day or so if they spent their time together jumping at each other's throat that way. _Better stop every thing while I'm still alive._

She would need a bit of time to think how to let him know about her decision. She was aware he would not be happy, his reaction would even be extreme but honestly, it could not be worse than the usual deal he gave her these days.

It had started as a fine day. It was not meant to end as such though.

* * *

For three days, Lorena remained in the Room of Requirement for most of the time, or in her dorm for her meal and sleep. She avoided Severus as much as possible. She wanted peace to get ready for her performance. She needed serenity as she knew that it would not be easy for a Muggle-born like her to find herself in the middle of purebloods and most likely Death-Eaters.

_Well, the Dark Lord does protect me actually. I belong to him, nobody will dare harm me. The Death-Eaters know that – Lucius Malfoy the first of them. As for the purebloods… I'm used to deal with them, after five years spent as a Muggle-born in Slytherin._

Lorena took her magical quill and began to dictate her program for the Malfoy party. She would play the piano and the violin tunes alternatively. She would start with the violin and end with it as there were six pieces. She had planned five piano works. She computed the playing time overall and arrived at about forty-five minutes. _Good._

She felt strangely quiet and peaceful. Only music could do that to her. Besides, she wanted to give more and more thought about her relationship with Severus. Things were getting out of hand with him. She did not wish to live an emotional roller-coaster romance with him anymore. Not in her condition. Her hand roamed over her belly. She could not inflict that to her child. At that moment, little Alan moved in her womb. She caressed her belly, a smile on her lips. Her son. He would be her son, no matter what would happen between her and Severus. She did not care about her being an unwed mother, and him an illegitimate child. He would be a great wizard. He would be wonderful. She would love him and would do everything in her power to keep him alive – away from the Dark Lord's clutches.

Yet, in order to ensure his proper in-utero development and a safe birth, Lorena had to spare him all the problems between her and his father. She was ready to bring him up even without Severus around. Maybe that would be for the better. Honestly, who would want to have a Death-Eater as a father ? As a husband ? She had no need of an abusive man at home. She was afraid that he may turn abusive against his own child. _No. No way._ She loved Severus – she just could not stand his violence. Last but not least, her father would be free one day and he would be a wonderful grandfather for Alan, like he had been a great dad to her. They would be a family.

Having resolved this point, Lorena moved on to the logical decision to be taken. She would leave him. Plain and simple. After all, before the academic year had started, he had _broken up_ with her. He had told her so, without asking her, that he did not wish their relationship to continue. Therefore, there would be not too much harm done actually.

True, he had left her without knowing there was a child involved. But the rest of their story showed that this aspect of their relationship did not weigh much either once it became a known fact. He did not love her, there should not be too much harm done on his side. As for her own side, her own feelings… well, she deemed herself to be mature and strong enough to deal with them. She would do all the hurting after all the loving but her son's presence would help her heal and mend her broken heart.

_It's my decision. __I'm a Slytherin. I'll bear the consequences of my decision. _

She took a deep breath. She needed a bit of time to think how she would proceed. After all, she had to live in the same castle than her former lover – and her child's father. For the next two years. She wondered if she would be able to continue her education. Maybe she would have to leave Hogwarts, even if the Headmaster had told her that he would make all arrangements possible for her and her baby, provided she continued her education here, because he wanted her to be safe, in regards of the Dark Lord's plans for her.

First, she would inform Severus of her decision to break up with him. Definitively. Then she would give him back the Snape medallion that was still hanging around her neck. Thinking about it, Lorena took the pendant between her fingers. It was a beautiful jewel. She had never worn something so precious. An object endowed with magic too. The magic from the ritual they had shared in the cave. An object endowed with wonderful memories.

She turned the pendant between her fingers. Her sensitive fingertips felt carvings at the back of the medallion. She had never noticed before. She took her wand and cast '_Yod Legimeo_' on the jewel. The words appeared in her mind.

_Property of Prof. Severus Snape_

Lorena sighed. _Property ? What property ?_ Probably the jewel had been carved these words long ago. It was a family heirloom. Probably Severus had wished to have it engraved once he had begun to teach, in case it may be lost or stolen. Unless…

Unless he had meant something else. Lorena remembered he had asked her the jewel back, just before he took the Unbreakable Vow with her. He had given her the medallion on that very day, just before the Vow. She remembered what he had told her about the jewel too, the very first time he had put it around her neck. For the Summer concert at Hogwarts. The last minute addition.

'_My father had given it to her on their wedding day. 'S' like Snape. A family heirloom. He used to say that the woman that wore this necklace was a Snape property.'_ That was it. A Snape property. Maybe Severus had made these words be carved on the pendant because he knew that Lorena would be his after the Vow. Surely he had wanted her to think she was a Snape property and intended that the jewel be a constant reminder of that. It would be totally in line with his possessiveness.

She remembered what he had told her when putting the jewel around her neck. _'Just one thing, do not show it to anyone. Not even to your classmates or your other teachers. Nobody. It's between you and me only.' _Well, of course. Professor Severus Snape would not have wished other people, be they students or teachers, to know he had given her such a jewel. A jewel whose carved words screamed she was _his_ property.

Lorena was certain that the words were not meant for the medallion. They had been meant for _her_. She was the Snape property in question. The thought infuriated her to no end. She quickly removed the jewel from her neck. She turned it several times between her agile fingers. It was beautiful, she could feel its protective magic, its weight had something reassuring. Yet, there was no way she could keep it if she was to break up with him.

_I think you take too much for granted, Professor Snape. I'm not your property. I first belong to myself before belonging to someone else. Then I chose whom I belong to.__ My heart belongs to me._

She would keep it for the concert. Severus would notice at once that something was missing on her person. No need to cross him any further. She put the jewel back around her neck. She would give him back after the Malfoy party. After all, she may still need its protective magic.

In fact, Lorena had decided to tell him she would leave him after the Malfoy party. It would be easier to deal with him after. She would give him back the pendant then. Then she thought about the ring he had given her. The Love-Snakes.

What would happen to them if she gave them back ? Would they be discarded ? If yes, how ? Despite his assertions that he was not the kind of Potions Master to use them as ingredients, would Severus dispose of them eventually as such ? Lorena knew he did not like to waste potential potion ingredients. She could not discard these questions and just give him back the ring. It involved living creatures, almost sentient. Creatures she was bonded to. Creatures she cared for deeply. No, she would keep the Love-Snakes ring. She had a duty towards them, to feed them, to care for them. Like children. They should not pay the high price for her falling out with the man that had given them to her. Lorena just hoped that he would think the same for his own ring. That he would behave with them in a responsible way.

If he did not wish to have them any longer, she would be glad to welcome them so that they could feed on her own feelings, along with their brethren. She did not wish to be held responsible for their death. They did not deserve that fate.

* * *

**_Sometimes, I tend to believe that Lorena is stronger than Severus - in her own way. Once she takes a decision, she is very firm in her resolve._**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	85. She belongs to me

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**8****5 – She belongs to me**

The three days before the New Year's Eve went by fast. On the morning before their departure to Malfoy Manor, Lorena decided what she would wear for the concert. This time, she wanted to show that even a Muggle-born could dress as finely as any pureblood witch. After all, it had worked with Draco Malfoy during the Halloween Ball. It was the most beautiful garment she had – the only one. Besides, being dressed in green, in a Slytherin household would be positively appreciated. No time for house neutrality. Lorena would be most happy to show how proud she was to be a Slytherin. She was just a Muggle-born – well, no longer after the recent discoveries about her family – but a Slytherin first.

Minerva had come to see her in her dorm – Severus had given her the password to the Slytherin common room. The Transfiguration professor had wanted to teach the younger witch how to conceal her showing belly with a specific version of the Notice-Me-Not spell. Lorena learned it quickly.

"Remember, you have to renew it every two hours or so," Minerva said. "On your garments, not your body."

"I will, thank you, Professor." She was glad to know that she had some female support.

Lorena began to put her beautiful green dress, the long undershirt that went with it, a nightgown, shoes and undergarments in her trunk. She made sure she had her hygiene stuff with her too. She put the alto violin into her trunk. She had rehearsed a lot and felt confident, with both instruments, to do other stuff than music. She checked her homework once again to find out that she had done everything already. She would just take care of herself, get ready for the party, and brace herself for the separation with Severus on the day after. In two days' time, the other students would come back and term would resume. She sighed with relief. Once back in school life, there would be less time for her to brood about her failed romance with her Potions Master.

_He's not _my_ Potions Master. He's no longer mine. If he ever was._

She had her meal in her dorm, nearby the hearth grate where a blazing fire kept the room warm. She heard a knock on one of the windows. Lorena opened it to find one of the giant squid tentacles there. She smiled and touched the wet suction cup. She was not afraid of the creature – like she was not afraid of snakes or spiders or whatever.

She giggled because she knew why the giant squid had knocked at her window. "I'm sorry, pal, but I don't have my instrument with me. Oh, well, you won." Lorena began to sing _a capella_. The songs she intended to sing tonight. _Almost Lover_, _Summertime_, _In Noctem_.

The creature seemed to like it. Lorena was done when she heard someone cough politely in the distance. In her dorm. She recognized the voice. Severus. "You may come in, Professor," she said gently while patting the giant squid's tentacle, once she had finished her last verse of _In Noctem_.

Severus got closer to her, a look of disgust on his face. "Miss Nottingham, I need to talk to you. Now." It meant she had to put an end to her interaction with the lake creature.

"Goodbye my friend," she said sweetly, while patting the tentacle. The animal left her arm on which it was stuck with an awful yet amusing noise of suction – which made Severus cringe even more with disgust. Lorena closed the window. "Yes, Professor ?"

"How can you stand that ?"

"Stand what, sir ?"

"Being touched by that… thing ?"

There was clear hint of disgust in his voice. "Jealous, Professor ?" she asked scornfully.

"What, of the giant squid ? Thanks Merlin, no. But these tentacles…"

Lorena giggled heartily. "Come on, Professor ! You have to deal with slimy, greasy, bloody stuff in your potions lab, without mentioning the mess the students can produce in class, and you're disgusted by… a living tentacle ?"

"At least, the stuff I deal with in my lab or in class doesn't make horrible sounds such as these."

"Oh, I see. I don't mind. I think the giant squid has sensed my elemental magic. It's just we never had the occasion to be in close contact. I'm not afraid of it. Like I'm not afraid of snakes or spiders or any other creatures. Actually, I think the giant squid is like the Love-Snakes, almost sentient. At least, sensitive to music, that's for sure."

"You were singing when I entered. That was… beautiful."

"Thank you, I hope I'll be as good tonight. I don't want to disappoint the Malfoys if I want to earn the remaining 50% of the deal."

"As we're on the matter, the Headmaster received an owl from Lucius Malfoy. We are expected by 3 o'clock this afternoon at Malfoy Manor. I want you to be ready by then. You shall come to my office and we'll Apparate from there directly to the Malfoys' home place."

"Yes, Professor, thank you for the notice. I'm almost ready anyway."

"Oh, I have another message. From Professor Dumbledore. He said he has owled back your father and forwarded your… feelings to him."

A shadow passed on Lorena's face. She thought about her father. "Thank you, Professor," she said softly. Her empty gaze watched an invisible point in the void, lost in thought.

"Do you wish to eat with me, Lorena ?" Severus said in a murmur. "In the common room ? We have to go through some details regarding your safety there."

He had come closer to her. She felt his presence, then his hand on her shoulder, in a light touch. "Yes, Professor. Sure thing," she replied softly, moved by the gentle contact.

It would be hard to leave him.

* * *

They had their meal in the Slytherin common room, for the first time in three days. Three days they had practically not seen each other. Lorena felt strange to eat with the man she loved and that she was about to leave. _But it's for the better – for me, for Alan, and maybe for him too._ Severus enquired about her rehearsals. She replied she was ready yet she would need to check the piano at the Malfoys. She hoped Lucius would have found a good instrument. The man had taste, he would surely have brought back something up to par.

"How do you feel ?" Severus asked her.

Lorena felt he wanted to have more contact with her. "I feel good, Professor. Thank you."

Severus watched her. "Professor McGonagall told me that she taught you a concealing spell for your pregnancy."

"She did indeed. She told me to renew it every two hours, before it wears off."

"A sound precaution. The Dark Lord doesn't need to know you are far too advanced in your pregnancy to carry his child, given its supposed date of conception."

"No, you're right. He doesn't." Her softly tone showed she wanted to be at peace with him. She did not wish another outburst of violence. Not today.

They finished their meal in silence.

Severus left the place once he was done. "I'll come and fetch you here at 3 o'clock. No need for you to come to my office. We'll go together and Apparate after."

Lorena just nodded. She could not help thinking there was something weird in his attitude. She could not have said what but she felt he was up to something. She only hoped he would not make a fuss once at Malfoy Manor.

* * *

At three, Lorena was waiting for Severus in the Slytherin common room. She had reduced her trunk and put it in her pocket. She had her cloak on her shoulders, her Slytherin scarf around her neck, ready to leave the castle.

Severus went to pick her up. He glanced at her and saw she had cast the Notice-Me-Not charm on her belly. Only a small bump remained there to be seen. He took her hand in his and led her outside the common room. They would Apparate from his quarters, as usual. He took her between his arms, wrapping her in his traveling cloak, in a protective gesture. He felt her belly against his body, the child moving at this moment. Severus did not move.

"What's happening, Professor ?" Lorena asked.

"I can feel our son moving," he replied softly. Lorena could feel his breath on her ear. His arms moved her tighter against him. He resisted the urge to kiss her and drag her to his bedroom nearby. He could not imagine that her pregnancy could turn him on so much. When he felt the child's movements subsided, he Apparated them to Malfoy Manor.

* * *

They found themselves outside Malfoy Manor. The weather was cold. A bit of sleet was falling. Severus got his bearings quickly. He had his wand at the ready. They were about to enter a high-ranking Death-Eater's home.

They walked towards the enchanted gates of the manor, which let them in. They rang the bell at the main door. Draco opened the door and welcomed them, a charming smile on his lips.

"Lorena ! Professor…" he exclaimed while letting them in. "Come in ! It's so cold outside !"

Severus pushed Lorena inside gently. Draco called his mother. Narcissa Malfoy arrived to greet them.

"Severus ! I'm so happy to see you." She paused to watch at the blind girl standing besides. "Miss Nottingham, we are glad you accepted our proposition to play for us and our guests. This way." She led them inside the lobby. "I have prepared you a bedroom you will have to share. I'm sorry, Severus, but we have to accommodate family members and we could not do otherwise."

Severus scowled. "I understand, Narcissa."

"There's a room with twin beds. I didn't wish to separate you both as Lucius told me that you had received orders to keep watch on her."

There was no need to mention whose orders she alluded to. Everyone knew. The Dark Lord. Lorena was aware of this. Yet, this was not what had caught her attention. _Family members ? Good. I hope I'll have the opportunity to talk to some of them._

"Draco will lead you there," Narcissa said. "I'm sorry to leave you here as such but I have other pressing matters that require my attention. This is your home, Severus, make yourself comfortable. You know the place."

She left them. Lorena had noticed that Narcissa had been polite with her. The young witch was fully aware that she was in a pure-blood, Death-Eater home, home to a family that supported pure-blood supremacy. She was just a Muggle-born. She resolved to keep a very low profile. At least, she knew she could count on Severus to protect her. Though she was aware that his protection would concern only her life. If someone chose to mock her or her origins, she was sure he would not come to her rescue. As for Draco… in his parents' home, she did not expect him to be much helpful in this regard.

_Well, I've chosen to come here. I've agreed to the Malfoys' propos__ition. I'll bear the consequences of my decision._ She smiled thinking that she was not a Muggle-born _per se_.

Draco led them to the last bedroom, at the very end of the corridor upstairs. He opened the door. There were two twin beds and a small bathroom. "My room is opposite, if you need anything," the young man added.

Severus thanked him. Draco left the room without a word and closed the door gently behind him. Once he was out, Severus cast a locking spell on the door and a silencing charm over the bedroom. Before Lorena could utter a word, he put a finger on her mouth.

_Not a single word, Miss Nottingham. I first need to check something before we may do __or say anything._ He had talked directly into her mind, using telepathy. _Lucius is a genius when it comes to wards and other detecting devices. I need to check what he may have installed in our room. Sit on the bed. Don't move, don't interfere. I'll tell you when you may move and speak again. It should take me a few minutes only. _

Lorena nodded. He removed his finger from her mouth. He led her to the bed and she remained seated there, motionless. Once he was done, he put a hand on her shoulder. "Everything is fine. Lucius had set up one ward – which I'll replace by some of mine, much more complex – and two detecting spells, movement and speech, which I canceled. Now we can move and speak freely. I checked the bathroom too and it's safe."

"He won't be happy."

"I don't care. He won't make a fuss as he knows very well that I can override his wards and spells. Moreover, he knows I'm no fool either."

Lorena smiled at him. Of course, he was no fool. Severus was a Death-Eater, ranking as high in Voldemort's troops as Lucius Malfoy himself. Only a seasoned wizard like him could act this way. "Now let's tour the place," he said softly while taking her hand in his. He led her around the bedroom. "You'll take that bed, Miss Nottingham," he said while she was touching the bed located the farthest from the door.

"I'd rather take the closest bed to the bathroom, Professor," she replied. "More practical for me, for reasons you can guess easily."

"No way. It's also the closest to the door unfortunately and I can't take that risk with your safety. You'll sleep in this one, with me between you and the door." As she was not happy with his decision, he clinched the argument once and for all. "If you want to sleep in that bed, you're free to do so. But you'll find me in it. If you wish to share my bed with me, I don't mind." He smirked with glee at the idea he had embarrassed her.

Lorena turned her head away as if disgusted by the notion she would have to sleep in the same bed as him. She did not wish any longer to have any intimate contact with him. Especially after deciding she would break up with him. She just sighed and took her trunk out of her pocket. She placed it on her bed and gave it back its normal size. With a Levitation charm, she put it nearby the wall, beside her bed. She opened the trunk and took her violin case out of it, which she placed on her bed.

"Here's is my bed, careful," Severus went on, still guiding her. Then he led her to the bathroom, so that she could get an idea of its layout. The whole bedroom was small. But they were supposed to stay only one night and just sleep here – nothing else.

In the bathroom, Severus caught a sight of their reflections in the mirror. He was close to her and seeing them as such made him wish for something more intimate to happen again between them. He began to get closer to her, his hand on her waist drawing her to him. Lorena could feel his breath on her neck, his lanky hair on her cheek as he tried to kiss her there. At the same time, her child moved in her womb. He felt it and let his hands roam over her belly. Lorena let him do as his hands on her body had something soothing on their child. But when she felt him turning her to him, pushing her slightly over the jug, his hands trying to find their way under her dress, his mouth muttering sweet nothings to her ear, she repelled him.

"Let me go, Professor !"

Severus did not let go and kept on with his embrace. He even went on with his silky voice purring into her ear dirty yet sensual words. "Let me have a quick one with you… now… you're mine… I know you like it… when I talk to you like this… don't you ? You like it… to be talked and taken like the filthy little witch you are… mine… you're mine… let me take you… let me make you scream out your pleasure… you say 'no'… but your whole body says 'yes'… you cannot imagine how much… how much I want you… I'm so hard for you… now… don't deny me…" He stopped talking when his mouth met hers in a demanding kiss.

Lorena felt she was lost. Lost in her mind, lost in her own desire, lost like someone drunk. She did not even realize when he had unfastened his trousers. She came back to reality when she felt his hot and hard maleness between her thighs he had nudged apart with his knees, her dress tucked up to her waist. She panicked and tried to push him away, her both fists hitting his chest.

At this moment, a knock on the door could be heard. Severus stopped what he was doing, a sigh of frustration on his lips. He let go of Lorena, tidied himself up and went to open the door, regaining his composure before confronting anybody who had dared interrupting him in such a pleasurable moment…

Narcissa Malfoy was waiting at the door. "Severus… Just enquiring if everything is fine for you, if you're happy with your accommodation, if you need anything else."

_I know what I need. A good fuck with Lorena !_ he could not help thinking. "Please, Narcissa, come in. As far as I'm concerned, it's fine."

She watched him carefully. "Severus, are you sure you're fine ?"

"Yes, I am," he replied coldly.

"What about Miss Nottingham ?"

"She's in the bathroom."

"Is she fine too ? She looked a bit pale when you both arrived."

"It's cold outside. But here she is, what about asking her ?"

The bathroom door had just opened. Lorena entered the room. "Mrs Malfoy ?"

"Yes, that's me, Miss Nottingham. How do you feel ? I was asking Severus if you were fine. I found you a bit pale when you arrived."

Lorena had regained her own composure. Nothing on her face betrayed that she had been about to be taken forcefully by the man now standing by her side. "I'm fine, I can assure you," she said softly. She even put a smile on her lips – while inside, her heart felt heavy.

"I can see that, you have a bit more color on your cheeks now. I'd be glad to help you dressing up, before the performance."

Narcissa's interest in her surprised the younger witch.

"Thank you, Mrs Malfoy, but I'll manage." Lorena thought quickly. She did not wish to be alone with Severus while half naked. Another person would be welcome. "Though… I'd appreciate if you could come to give me some advice for my hair and makeup," she added quickly.

"No problem, I can do that," Narcissa replied with a smile. "For the time being, you may go downstairs to check on the piano. The concert will be given in the library. It's big enough to welcome our guests, about thirty to forty people."

This provided Lorena with a welcomed escape route. She nodded.

"I'll escort her there," the Potions Master added. He had admitted that he would not have his quickie now but they would spend the rest of the night together in this room.

"Yes, let's go now, Professor," Lorena said. She did not want him to resume his attempt to get her once Narcissa was gone.

"Alright, it's all settled then," Narcissa said. "You'll see, the piano is fine, you won't be disappointed." She left the room.

Lorena went to her bed and took her violin case with her. "Let's go, Professor," she said gently, putting aside the fact he had tried to force himself on her again a few minutes earlier.

He shot her a death glare – totally lost on her. His dark eyes followed her, promising he would try again, later tonight. He caught her arm. "One last thing, Lorena. The Notice-Me-Not charm wears off after two hours. I'll remind you when to cast it again." His hand left her arm to take her left hand. "Through our Love-Snakes rings. When you feel a tickling, it'll mean it's time to cast it again. Understood ?"

"Yes, Professor. That's a good idea, thank you."

"Now, let's go. Otherwise, Narcissa will have suspicions. And I don't want her to have suspicions." His tone meant it all. Lorena understood she'd better not say a word to the lady of the manor about his behavior with her. They left the room. Severus cast a series of complicated wards on it once they were out.

* * *

Severus led Lorena to the library. The room was big enough to welcome the guests. Elves were busy installing chairs. At the far end of it, there was a piano. The Potions Master guided Lorena to it. She touched it and appreciated the size of the instrument, turning around it, her hands on it. Lucius had outdone himself, Malfoy style, as usual… the piano was a full size grand concert piano indeed. After she was done, she went to sit down on the piano stool and let her hands run on the keyboard. The sound was good.

Lorena adjusted the stool to her height and began to play. She was impressed by the beautiful sound of the piano. A few minutes later, she heard another male voice in the background, coming closer. A voice she recognized at once.

"So, how do you like this piano ?"

"It's very good, Mr Malfoy," Lorena said with a smile. "It's a pleasure to play on it. Good sound, good touch, a nice instrument you have here. Thank you."

"The pleasure will be for us and our guests, Miss Nottingham. From what I just heard, we won't be disappointed."

"Oh, just warming up, sir," she said before resuming her playing with another piece.

Lucius and Severus remained silent while she played. Lucius nodded to Severus, expressing his approval. "I think we will have a nice evening," he whispered to his companion.

Severus just nodded. _Oh yes, I think I will have a nice evening. And maybe an even nicer night._ He could not help thinking that once alone in the same room as the young woman, he would resume what he had been about to do to her before being interrupted by Narcissa. "You're right, Lucius, you're right."

Lorena played all the pieces she intended to play tonight. Lucius was amazed that she could do so without any scores. Severus reminded him that the girl was blind and therefore, scores were not useful to her at this point. She did use them to learn a piece but once she knew it, she did not use them any longer.

Then Lorena went on with her violin. She asked the two men to go to the end of the room to tell her if the sound was fine, stating that she played for everyone, including the people seating at the very back of the room. Both men were glad to be of help. Lucius even found her professional.

"She should contemplate a career in music and concerts. I know some people that could help her," Lucius went on.

His words informed Severus that his fellow Death-Eater did not know anything about the Dark Lord's plans regarding the young woman. Otherwise, he would have never said such a thing. The Potions Master had to be careful in his reply. He knew how the Dark Lord operated : he could not say more than Voldemort had decided to tell the others. "Yes, maybe," Severus just added. "She wanted to be a Healer before becoming blind."

"Ah, too bad. Well, not so bad for music lovers after all."

Severus said nothing. He knew that according to the Dark Lord's plans, she should not even make it to the end of the academic year. The girl was condemned. It was impossible to change the Dark Lord's mind once it was set on a particular goal. Somewhere, it hurt him. Severus was aware he behaved with Lorena in a terrible manner sometimes, but he wanted her so much for him and him alone, that he wanted her to live. Even if it meant giving his life for her. _No, she doesn't belong to the Dark Lord. She belongs to me. _He knew that such thoughts could sentence him to death.

He Occluded his mind tight. Nobody – not even Lorena, for her own safety – had to know what he thought, what he felt. Protecting her was like his spying job on the Dark Lord. A matter of life and death, especially since he had taken the Unbreakable Vow with her. Even if that meant condemning his own feelings to utter oblivion.

Severus heard a clock in the library chime. Almost two hours had elapsed since they had arrived. He had to send her a reminder through their Love-Snakes. He wondered about his feelings for her. It was like casting a Patronus charm after all. He thought about what he felt for her. Lust. Desire. Want. Need. Possessiveness. _You belong to me._ He focused on all this. _You belong to me._

Lorena stopped playing. "Professor ?"

Severus went to her. "What is it, Miss Nottingham ?"

"I need a place where I could rest a few minutes quietly," she said in a whisper. "I need to relax. I think I have a cramp. Nothing serious but uncomfortable enough to play."

Severus knew she had just spun a yarn to be alone to cast the concealing charm again. "Lucius, can we use your study for a few minutes ?"

"Sure, I was about to suggest that you could enter the library from my study, just before the concert. Severus, I trust you, you know the place. I'll go and see how Narcissa's doing."

"Thank you, Lucius."

Severus led Lorena to the room beside. Once they were alone, he guided her to a chair. She sat there. She cast the Notice-Me-Not spell silently.

"Are you fine ?"

"Yes, I am." _I received your reminder. Thank you_, he heard her saying in his mind once she had touched his arm. "Now we may go back. I'll practice my violin."

Severus nodded and led her back to the library. Lorena took her violin out of her case and began to tune it. "Professor ? Could you do me a favor ?"

"Yes ?"

"I need to tune my violin. There's a key here, the A key… this one. Just hit it several times so that I can hear it and tune my violin accordingly."

Severus did as told. This was the first time he touched an instrument. He felt strange. "Have you magicked the piano ?"

Lorena stopped tuning her violin, a puzzled look on her face. "No. Unless Mr Malfoy did, but I don't think so, I felt nothing. Why do you ask ?"

Severus could not say why for the life of him. "Just… a feeling."

Lorena smiled in understanding. "Is it the first time you touch an instrument ? Then I think you just entered in contact with the magic of music then. Thank you for your help. I may need it that way tonight."

"How could I recognize the right key ?"

"Easy, that's the one just at the same level as the key hole. You can't miss it."

Severus went back to his chair and listened to her. He was alone and let his thoughts wander. He noticed that the concealing charm did wonders. Nobody could have said she was six-month pregnant. She could have been considered to be a woman rather on the plump side. She played standing up. She looked radiant. Severus could not help thinking how remarkable a woman she was. _She's mine. I won't let another wizard, be him the Dark Lord, have her. She's mine and mine only ! She belongs to me !_

* * *

**_Still playing with the giant squid_****_, and Severus' possessiveness... _**

**_Please rate and review !_**


	86. The concert

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**8****6 – The concert**

After one hour, Narcissa came to the library. She was intrigued by the girl. Hence her suggestion to help her. She may make her talk and learn about more about her.

"Severus, sorry to interrupt, but our first guests are about to come. I suggest that Miss Nottingham get ready now. I can help her, I'm ready on my side. Lucius and Draco can handle the arrivals without me."

"Sure thing, Narcissa. I think Miss Nottingham was over anyway."

"Yes, I'm ready too, well, I mean from a musical point of view."

They left the library together. Severus removed the wards on their room and they entered. "I don't need a lot of preparation, Narcissa," the Potions Master said. "I won't be long in the bathroom. Once I'm ready, I could assist Lucius or Draco with your guests."

Narcissa nodded. "That's a good idea, Severus, very kind of you. Please feel free to do so, our home is yours." Turning herself toward Lorena : "Have you got any fancy dress for tonight, Miss Nottingham ?"

Lorena smiled. "I do have a dress indeed." She searched her trunk and got out the beautiful green dress she had used for the Halloween Ball. She showed it to Narcissa.

"That's a very beautiful outfit you have here."

"Thank you. I wear it with a fancy long undershirt. It's quite thick and warm. I'll put it on once the bathroom is free."

Narcissa gathered that the young woman in front of her was self-conscious. "No problem. It's a beautiful fabric, green with silvery snakes. Draco told us that you're very proud to be in Slytherin. I can see that."

"That's my only title of nobility, ma'am," Lorena said softly. "But one I'm very proud to have indeed." At this point, she was aware that she was just a Muggle-born – a Mudblood – in a pure-blood family, with pure-blood guests, with the exception of Severus, a half-blood. Lorena even wondered if there were other half-bloods to be invited. However, she did not dare ask.

"And one you can be proud of indeed. Muggle-borns sorted into Slytherin are a rare occurrence. I've never heard of this, even in my own days at Hogwarts. There were a few half-bloods, like Severus for example. But I think you're the first Muggle-born to be sorted into Slytherin. Well, the first I met."

Lorena felt this was a slippery ground. She resorted to her usual tactics. Asking questions to avoid being asked questions. "You seem to have known Professor Snape for a long time."

"We've been in Hogwarts almost together. I was one year younger than Lucius. Lucius was entering in his fifth year when Severus was sorted into Slytherin in first year. I was in fourth year then. I guess our friendship dates back from then."

"You all go back a long way."

"We may say so. Especially Lucius and Severus. They are good friends. Also…" She stopped. Lorena felt Narcissa was now in a confidence mode. "I became quite close to Severus. You see, I had difficulties in becoming pregnant. Severus is a very talented Potions Master. He brewed a particular fertility potion for me, made with very rare ingredients. I can say that if I got Draco, it's thanks to him. Not what you think, mind you," she said with a chuckle, realizing the ambiguity of her statement. "Of course, Lucius was aware of all this. He supported the treatment. St. Mungo's healers had not managed to help me. They had condemned me to be barren. Our last resort was Severus. He researched for several weeks and came up with a rare potion of his own. Two months of treatment later, I was pregnant with Draco." A pause. "That's why I'll be eternally in debt with Severus. Thanks to him and his extensive knowledge of potions, his understanding, patience and compassion for me, I could have a son and give an heir to the Malfoy family. I owe him a life-debt, in sort of."

_A life-debt ? Interesting that she sees things that way. __She must have undergone a tremendous pressure to give that child. Not always great to be born and married in a pure-blood family._ "That's a wonderful story indeed," Lorena said softly. Now she could understand why Severus, despite being a half-blood, held a special status with the Malfoys.

"That's why me and Lucius had decided to make Severus Draco's godfather when he was born. He deserved it and we thought that he would care for the boy he had helped to bring into existence."

Her tone implied that this decision had gone against all the pure-blood traditions. It meant that Lucius and above all Narcissa, were not so adverse to shifting from their usual pure-blood bigotry when needed or deserved. _So Slytherin._

Lorena did not wish to change clothes in front of Narcissa Malfoy. She did not want to give her the least hint that she may have been pregnant for more than three months. Narcissa was a mother, she knew what it was all about. That was a risk she could not run. She hoped Severus would soon go out of the bathroom.

Her prayers were answered. The Potions Master went out in his usual black garments. His usual black school robes had been replaced by a richer robe, black with discreet silver embroidery on the hem. Narcissa watched him and complimented him on his elegant robe. She would not say anything else – she knew that would be useless. The black trousers, waist coat and frock coat, the white shirt under, the black scarf around his neck, all this was _him_ – and he would not change anything. He was known like that and clearly intended to remain as such. The dreaded, powerful Dark wizard he was.

He had just washed his hair and dried them with a spell. They looked silky. Narcissa smiled at him in approval, arranging his scarf and his hair, in a sisterly gesture. Severus gave her a tiny smile. Narcissa Malfoy was probably the only person – with Albus Dumbledore – for which Severus felt something close to a genuine friendship.

"You may use the bathroom now, ladies," he simply said.

"Thank you, Severus. Miss Nottingham did not wish to undress in front of me – which I can understand. She's very self-conscious."

"Like you, Narcissa." Inside, Severus praised Lorena's caution. Narcissa was not a fool, she had been pregnant and could make a difference between a three-month pregnancy, and a six-month one. He did not wish to know whether she would be able to detect a Notice-Me-Not charm. Not a risk to run indeed.

Lorena took the undershirt and the green dress with her inside the bathroom. She closed herself in there. She got rid of her surcoat, plain dress and undershirt, keeping on herself only her undergarments. Once she was dressed again, she renewed the concealment charm, just to make sure that her new garments were magicked with it. She went out.

"Ah, you look very lovely like this, Miss Nottingham. Green suits you well indeed."

"I've always believed the Sorting Hat had put me into Slytherin because it knew my favorite color was green," Lorena joked.

Narcissa giggled. "Severus has left downstairs. We are alone and have a bit of time ahead of us for your makeup and hair."

"Thank you so much for your kind help."

"I don't think Severus would have been a great help anyway with these matters. How do you cope usually, I mean, when you're in Hogwarts ?"

"I use an enchanted mirror in our dorm bathroom. It's been magicked for me. Though the other girls use it as well. It's funny for everyone but really helpful for me. Sometimes I'm alone, and most of the times, me and my dormmates don't have time to check these details on each others."

"I see. Useful magical implements, these enchanted mirrors. Sit there, so that I can work on you. I guess you're not one to wear too much makeup ?"

"No, you're right, I'm not. And even less for concerts. You know, sometimes… I cry when I play." Speaking as such, both ladies grew comfortable with each other. Narcissa had her wand out and after a few minutes of trial, she came up with light makeup for Lorena, basically her eyes and lips. Then she arranged the young witch's hair with a set of spells.

"You're lovely like this, hair in a bun with ringlets around your face, that's what you told me you love. That suits you very well indeed. Shame you cannot see the outcome, you're perfect as such."

"I trust your good taste, Mrs Malfoy. If you're satisfied with the result, no doubt it's fine."

Narcissa was moved by the younger witch's trust in her. It was so rare these days, especially among pure-blood and Death-Eater families. An unexpected sense of closeness tightened Narcissa's heart – she could not have told why she felt so familiar and close to Lorena.

A knock could be heard on the door. Severus entered the bedroom a few seconds later. He had a hard time hiding his surprise. Lorena was even more beautiful than at Halloween. A quick emotion appeared on his features, rapidly concealed under his usual composure. "Well, well, Narcissa, I can see you didn't lose your touch."

"Thank you, Severus. What do you think ? Tell her she's lovely. She can't see, a male appreciation will boost her self-confidence."

"I don't think Miss Nottingham needs a boost in this regard," he said coldly.

"Come on, Severus !" Narcissa scolded him. "Make an effort. This time."

He sighed. "I'll let that to Lucius and Draco. Malfoys are legendary to dole out compliments – whether they are deserved or not."

"Still your usual charming self, Severus," Narcissa said with a false reproachful tone. "Would do you some good to show a bit of kindness every now and then. Tell her she looks wonderful. Just for me. Please. After all, I did the spell work !"

Lorena said nothing. She was amused by the friendly banter and wondered if the dreaded Potions Master would give in to his friend.

"Alright, alright. She's _decent_."

"Mrs Malfoy, please do not insist. Professor Snape won't say more, he'll feel embarrassed once back in class in front of me. I'm still his student after all. Otherwise, he may feel compelled to dole me out a detention for each compliment he would have to utter for me tonight."

This time, Narcissa laughed heartily. "She got you, Severus. Now, I have no doubt. She's a real Slytherin !"

Severus scowled at her but his scowl had lost its usual coldness. "Let's go downstairs, ladies. Narcissa, your guests want you. I'll escort Miss Nottingham out."

Narcissa thanked him and left the room, closing the door behind her. Once alone, Severus went to Lorena. He put a hand on her cheek, his fingers drawing her jaw line. "You're not only decent, Lorena, but you're the most beautiful woman around here." His voice was husky, dripping with lust. He put a light kiss on her lips. "Now, listen to me carefully. I've seen some of the guests down there. There are a few Death-Eaters. One you must remember, Walden McNair. You remember him, don't you ?"

"Oh, the _Sectumsempra_ at Hogsmeade. Yes, I do."

"Correct. Also, some of your housemates. Theodore Notts. He's here with his parents. The Crabbes and the Goyles, with their respective sons. Draco should take care of them three. Of course, they will recognize you. Don't bother."

"I have no problem in dealing with them usually. Since Draco's been nice with me, my housemates leave me alone. I can handle that. I've done so for my first five years at Hogwarts."

"Right. Though I recommend you to let Draco handle them. You're in his house. As you're a particular guest, nobody should make a fuss about you or your blood status. Lucius Malfoy would not tolerate it. However, there's one person he may not be able to contain. Neither may I – regrettably."

"Who ?"

"Narcissa's sister, Bellatrix Lestrange. She's here with her husband Rodolphus. Now, be careful with her. She's a Death-Eater, the most fanatic and sadistic of the Dark Lord's followers. A powerful witch. She hates Muggles and Muggle-borns with a passion. Do not try anything against her. If she is horrible with you, just let it go."

"I'm used to that, Professor. Five years in Slytherin taught me well."

"I've got no doubt on that. Yet, Bellatrix is not the usual stock you have at Hogwarts. She even hates half-bloods."

"Like you, Professor ?" There was a hint of concern in her voice.

"Like me." _Especially me._ "If she tries to play it nasty with you, let me or Lucius handle her. Do not count on Narcissa or Draco. I'll keep an eye on you all the time anyway."

"I think you should rather keep an eye on that Bellatrix, instead of me, if she is the trouble-maker." Lorena's mind raced fast. Lorena did not lose her true goal behind her accepting the gig proposed by Lucius Malfoy. Getting answers to her questions. A Severus Snape watching her every move could prove to be a problem if she tried to talk with other people. He may even try to foil her plans if he heard her conversation.

"Don't worry. I will too. I'm used to that in my dealings with the Dark Lord and his followers. Including our dear Lucius Malfoy. Here are your instructions regarding some people. You'll recognize Bellatrix' voice quickly. Her laughter gets on my nerves, it should do the same on yours, above all with your fine hearing. Remember, whatever happens… I'll be there for you. Now, let's go. Are you ready for the concert ?"

"Yes, I am, Professor. Thank you for your support."

Severus checked her outfit a last time. "Remember, the Love-Snakes reminder for the concealing charm." He also saw the Snape medallion hanging between her breasts. He turned the pendant between his fingers, a smirk on his lips. _She's mine. A Snape property. My property._

"Alright, everything's fine, we cannot see you're pregnant. People will just see that you're surely a bit on the plump side. They may even enjoy that. I, for one, will." His voice was a sensual and lustful purr.

Lorena said nothing, reassured and amused by his statement, a smile on her lips. They left the room. Severus warded the bedroom. He led her as usual, his hand in a slight touch on her elbow. He put her hand on the stairwell rail and they went downstairs. There was nobody in the lobby. All the guests must have arrived and were already in the library. Severus led Lorena to Lucius' study. From there she would access the library, directly nearby the piano.

Lucius was waiting for them there. "Ah, our musician's here. Listen, everyone's arrived and sitting in the library, waiting for you, Miss Nottingham. I'll announce you. As I don't know the names of the pieces you are to play tonight, I'll let you speak about them."

"I will, Mr Malfoy. Thank you."

"I'm going to enter and announce you. Then you come in, Severus will lead you as usual."

Lorena nodded and took a deep breath. Lucius entered the library and announced her. When he fell silent, she gestured to Severus that she was ready. Severus led her inside the library, nearby the piano.

There, she bowed to greet the audience that clapped in their hands politely. Her violin was on a chair nearby. Severus handed it to her. Lorena began to tune it. Severus hit the A key on the piano, like she had taught him. She nodded in approval, now fully focused. Severus went to sit on the first rank of seats, where a chair had been kept for him, besides Lucius.

Lorena took another deep breath, closed her eyes and assured her grip on her instrument. Then she let the bow slid on her violin, which let out its first notes, spreading a nostalgic atmosphere throughout the library. Lorena let herself be possessed by the music. Though she was blind, she could not help closing her eyes from time to time, in an old reflex, when she could still see. Her body accompanied her music in a graceful and gentle swinging movement.

Everybody applauded, a bit more enthusiastically this time. Lorena bowed again. There was a chair nearby the piano on which she put her violin. Before she sat on the piano stool, Lorena introduced her second piece. She sat and took her bearings on the keyboard. Her fingers ran on the keyboard in a light touch for that particular tune.

The piano had been installed so that people could see her hands on the keyboard and the expression on her face. Most of the people noticed that she played without any scores, looking straight ahead or sometimes in the direction of the audience, to her right. The young woman was blind. Her empty pale gray eyes were free from reading any score and were trained towards the public. Concentration was visible on her features, as well as emotion.

Once she was over, the audience clapped their hands warmly. Lorena felt they were responsive, they liked what she played. She relaxed and let it go.

Every time she introduced a piece, she was careful to avoid saying the word 'Muggle'. Never mind if they could not grasp half of what she could say about the pieces. She acted as if they knew the composers or the pieces.

Delicate strings of sounds came out of the instrument, weaving a nostalgic, even sad atmosphere. Her face reflected these emotions. Severus watched her careful, mindful to any sign of emotion. He knew that she would give her best when overwhelmed by the emotions given by a piece. At this moment, she would be able to convey these emotions to her audience. The rich sounds of the alto violin filled the library with deep emotions, so much that the people gathered there did not react once the tune was over. Yet, they did so heartily when they realized that she was done.

Lorena had decided to play piano pieces and violin tunes alternatively. Some of the pieces were sung. "Severus, you didn't tell me she could sing," Lucius said.

"I'm not her agent. Now you know," the Potions Master replied deadpan.

The small piece was met with applause. Lorena went back to her violin. "Now, another piece from a movie soundtrack. This one is entitled _Camilla's Theme_, from the movie _The Contempt_. It tells the story of a young spouse, Camilla, cheated by her husband she loves. A common story yet a bit different from the usual triangle. The husband uses his wife to further his own interests with a powerful man. She ends up shattered when she discovers the truth. She feels treated with contempt by the very man she still loves."

_Why is she telling that ?_ Severus thought. He could not help thinking this was a bit of her own story. He held her in contempt after all, when he abused her while she still loved him. The piece had undeniable qualities of sweetness and sadness over a lost love. The emotion was clear on her face – her eyes were gleaming with tears. Severus had the weird feeling she played that piece just for him. _Is there any message for me ? What does she try to tell me ? _He had to admit he was quite shaken. No wonder she loved that piece. At the end of the piece, a tear fell on her cheek, a tear she had not been able to keep.

The story and the music must have raised similar emotions in the audience as the piece was heartily applauded. Lorena bowed again in thanks. She put her violin on the chair and came back to the piano. "The piece I will play next is excerpted from an American opera called _Porgy and Bess_. Another love story. This particular piece is a lullaby entitled _Summertime_. It tells the love of a parent for their child and about the protection bestowed by parental love on children. I dedicate this tune to all the people here who are parents or soon-to-be parents."

This time, the message was clear. Not only Lorena had thought about herself but also about Severus – and their unborn child. Severus noticed that Narcissa lowered her head discreetly. He remembered how much she had cried to him to get that baby. A baby now called Draco, his godson. He remembered how joyful she had been when she had learned she was pregnant. Severus had been the friend in which she could confide, the first one to know about it, well before Lucius. In order not to disappoint her husband, Narcissa had waited for three months before telling her husband. Lucius had understood her motives – he had been literally overjoyed by the news. After all these years, her mother's heart was still sensitive to the issue of motherhood. It had not been possible for her to bear another child…

The song was beautiful, very sweet, very moving. Lorena sang it with all her soul. She could not help thinking about her own little Alan, still growing inside her. She wanted to protect him from all evil influence. She hoped he would look like his father, the man she loved. _Severus_.

She thought about her own parents. Her mother and her grandmother – a surrogate mother – now both dead. Her father, still rotting in jail, whom she had not hugged for ages. She felt like a motherless child – and she was indeed. It steeled her in her determination to know more about her ancestry.

The piece was applauded with emotion. Lorena could sense it. She remembered that these people were more or less related between them, they were part of the same family. A family that stuck together.

Lorena came back to her violin for the next piece. "This tune is called _In Winter_. Not a Christmas tune but rather the nostalgia of Winters past, of places covered by snow, of nature asleep."

The string of notes gave an eerie atmosphere of longing. Longing for Spring and a longing for the purity of Winter. Severus had never heard this piece before – or he did not remember her to have played it in front of him. It was beautiful. His soul began to travel far away – back to Hogwarts and the wonderful landscape there, the snow-capped mountains around, the lake taken by ice, the snow in the places around, nearby the Forbidden Forest.

The Forbidden Forest… where he had almost raped her. Where her accidental magic had almost killed him. An accident for which she had lied. Lied for his sake. Because she loved him. Yes, he could feel all the love in her playing that piece. The nostalgia of a love that was probably lost forever.

Lorena was applauded again with success. She felt at ease now, relaxed. Her playing reflected that, which allowed her emotions to flow much more easily. The more her emotions could flow, the more she could convey them to her audience. For now, she was perfectly happy with the outcome.

She came back to the piano. Her fingers had a light touch on the keyboard, like a caress. Severus remembered the tune – she had played it last Summer. The love theme had had success then. Lorena played it this time with even more sensuality. She had her face towards the audience but it showed some sadness on her features. At the end, she turned her head towards the only person that was in her mind at that precise moment. _Severus_. She could not betray herself, she could not betray him either but she could not prevent a tiny smile in his direction.

She stood up and bowed while the audience applauded her cheerfully. They had enjoyed that tune. She took her violin with her and checked it. "The next piece is one of my favorite tunes. It's been composed by an American musician for a band of several string instruments. Here is an arrangement for one alto violin. It's entitled…" She paused. "The _Adagio for Strings_."

Their piece. She wanted to say so much – so much she could not tell. It was _their_ piece, to Severus and her. Therefore, everything she could not put down into words, she expressed it in her music. The rich sounds began to flow in the big room. Lorena gave it all her magic, weaving a deep nostalgic yet sensual atmosphere. Soon, as the crescendo went higher and higher, tears began to roll down her face. The sounds tore her heart out, her face reflecting her conflicting feelings of love and sadness, up to the moment of silence. Then she resumed the tune with a deep sense of release and sweetness mingled with pain – pain over a lost love, tears on her cheeks.

When she was over, after the last note had died, she could feel emotion running throughout the room. The audience remained silent in awe, stunned by emotion. Lorena remained motionless. Then she heard someone clap their hands. It was Severus that had decided to manifest himself – the only way he could actually. Then another person, another one, another one, followed suit. The whole room erupted in applause eventually. Lorena bowed deeply to thank the audience. The applause last for two good minutes.

Lorena was so moved that Severus thought she was on the verge of collapsing somehow. But no, she was smiling to the people. Once the clapping had subsided, she came back to the piano and introduced the next piece. "For our last piece, another love song entitled _Almost Lover_."

She began the piece with a sweet and light touch on the keyboard. Her voice rose in the room, soft and clear, her deep alto giving a sensual tone to the song. A sad tone too as the song talked about the separation of a couple.

Severus recognized the song. She had sung it to him, for him, in the Room of Requirement, just after they had agreed to make the Unbreakable Vow. He was the 'almost lover', the 'hopeless dream', the 'luckless romance' – though he remembered to have told her he did not wish to be so for her. She ended the song with the last verse with a tone of revolt and despair in her voice, before reverting to a sensual yet sad ending.

The song was extremely well received, some exclamations mingled with the clapping. Lorena got up and bowed again to greet her public. Then she took her violin and tuned it again. "Now, to finish this concert, which I hope you enjoyed, here is our last piece, a joyful piece for a change." Some people chuckled. "It's entitled _Contradanza_. It was a form of dance in use in the Renaissance times."

She started the tune with energy. This time, a smile was on her face, her eyes gleaming with enthusiasm. Her bow flew over the instrument with speed and precision. Her foot beat the tempo. Soon the audience, led by Draco and the younger people, began to clap their hands in rhythm. Lorena heard it and she grinned encouragingly. She ended her piece in a blazing glory of applause. She bowed again, trying to catch her breath. Severus was a bit worried – he knew she had given all she had for the music.

Lucius went to her side and took her hand in his. He greeted the audience and made them quiet down with a gesture of his hand. "I know it's the tradition to recall the artist if the audience wishes so. Would you like so ?" he said addressing his guests.

Everybody cheered loudly. "I'll take that as a 'yes' then," he said. "Miss Nottingham, would you agree ?"

"Yes, of course, I'm here to please the public. Two pieces for the recall of one. One with the violin, the other with the piano, all from the present program," she suggested.

"Alright, seems fair to me. So which piece with the violin and which one with the piano do you all want to listen to again ?"

After some uncertainty, it appeared that the _Love Actually_ love theme (again !) and the _Contradanza_ were chosen. Lorena went to the piano and played again the love theme. She poured all the sensuality she could muster, focusing her thoughts onto the one man she loved. _Severus_. Then, she went back to her violin and began to play the energetic tune of the _Contradanza_. She stepped a bit forward to be closer to the audience. She was really enjoying herself. Again, the people – still led by Draco and the other youths – began to clap in their hands, accompanying her in the rhythm. She had no way to know it was him but she appreciated the idea. She put all her magic in the instrument, to the point that sparks flew between the bow and the strings. Her musical bliss was so contagious that everybody clapped their hands – even Severus, usually so collected.

* * *

**_Here's the program played by Lorena – some of these pieces had already been played during her concert at Hogwarts last Summer :_**

_**-**_** Ashokan Farewell**_**, by Jay Ungar ;**__**  
**__**-**_** Pavane **_**de Fauré ;**__**  
**__**-**_** Remembrances**_**, from the movie **_**Schindler's List**_** ;**__**  
**__**-**_** In Noctem**_**, from the **_**Half-Blood Prince**_** soundtrack ;**__**  
**__**-**_** Camilla's Theme**_**, from the movie **_**The Contempt**_** (**_**Le mépris**_**) ;**__**  
**__**-**_** Summertime**_**, from the opera **_**Porgy and Bess**_** ;**__**  
**__**-**_** In Winter**_**, in fact the piece entitled **_**"Harry In Winter"**_**, from the **_**Goblet of Fire**_** soundtrack ;**__**  
**__**-**_** The Glasgow Theme**_**, from the movie **_**Love Actually**_** ;**__**  
**__**-**_** The Adagio for Strings**_**, by Samuel Barber ;**__**  
**__**-**_** Almost Lover**_**, by A Fine Frenzy ;**__**  
**__**-**_** Contradanza**_**, by the artist Vanessa Mae.**_

**_I know, I'm a total music nerd. LOL_**

**_All these pieces can be found on YouTube. If you wish to have the URLs, leave me a PM, I'll forward them to you._**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	87. Questions leading to answers

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**8****7 – Questions leading to answers**

All in all, the concert had been a success. Severus led Lorena back to the study. The young woman sat on a chair there, looking happily exhausted. The Potions Master even had the impression that playing like this had been similar to lovemaking for her. He felt desire spurring his back. She was radiating – how much he wanted to make her radiant like that when loving her. Well, it had been the case… in the cave, in a time that seemed gone long ago…

Lucius entered the study, a broad grin on his face. "Miss Nottingham, I can tell that my guests have been impressed. They had a wonderful time ! Severus, I think a star is born."

The Potions Master said nothing. He just nodded. "You know, Miss Nottingham," Lucius went on, "I could really help you with the wizarding music industry. I know many people."

Lorena smiled at him. "Thank you, Mr Malfoy. However, for the time being, I think I'll focus on finishing my education at Hogwarts." _And on that child to come. If I manage to make it beyond the Dark Lord's plans for me and Alan._

"All the same. In the meantime, you have earned your remaining 500 galleons. They'll be ready tomorrow. I don't think you'd wish to eat now with them on your lap. Some of my guests look forward to eating with you tonight."

"Oh. Well, no problem, Mr Malfoy."

Lorena and Severus wondered who the guests in question would be. _I hope he didn't put us at the same table as Bellatrix_, Severus thought. _Otherwise I'm going to kill him – or her. Or both._

As if on cue, Lucius added : "Don't you fret, Severus. I won't spoil your evening to you both with my dear sister-in-law. Though I know how much she _enjoys_ half-bloods and Muggle-borns."

Lorena had the impression that the word 'enjoy' had a whole other meaning for the said Bellatrix. Severus did know indeed.

"My aunt Lavinia would be delighted to share her table with you both."

Lorena thought fast. _Lucius' aunt ? She must be old enough to remember family stuff then._ "My pleasure," she said quickly, without leaving Severus time enough to object. Of course, he would be around but she did not care. That would the opportunity to seize – or never.

"I suppose, Severus, that you wish to have dinner with your student."

"Indeed. I'm in charge of looking after her, as per my orders. I'm glad you remember that detail. Not that something may happen in your house but one never knows."

Both men exchanged a glance. "You're right. We should not disobey the orders we are given."

Severus helped Lorena to get up. He led her to the dining room. Five small round tables of six people each had been arranged. The decoration was of a good taste – one could recognize Narcissa's hand behind it.

Lorena's arrival was greeted by a round of applause. She replied with a broad grin that made Severus' heart beat faster. She was more beautiful than ever. And she would be his again in a few hours.

Lucius led them to a table where four other people were already seated. An elder lady was there, with a younger man and woman, obviously brother and sister as they both looked pretty much alike. A young boy was with them.

Severus' sharp gaze had already scanned the room, searching for his fellow Death-Eaters, Bellatrix in particular. Narcissa had been wise in putting their table far from the one Bellatrix would be sitting at. Both sisters and their husbands, along with Rabastan Lestrange, Rodolphus' brother, and Walden MacNair, would be together. _The most dangerous together. Good._ The Crabbes, the Notts and the Goyles would be together. Draco, Theodore Notts, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle would be sitting at another table, along with two young witches, two of Draco's cousins, as blond as he was himself. Another table was occupied by six other people Severus did not recognize but assumed they were Malfoys' relatives too. Then their table, occupied by Malfoy relatives as well.

"Aunt Lavinia, please let me introduce you to my dear friend, Professor Severus Snape, Potions Master at Hogwarts."

"I know who your friend is, Lucius, we already met, long ago, you were still in Hogwarts, my boy." She assessed Severus with a haunting air that said it all. "You were that half-blood boy from the Prince family ?"

"I am, madam," Severus confirmed with a polite bow to the old lady. The mention of being a half-blood had escaped nobody. "You have an excellent memory."

"I do, young man. I do. I know almost all the pure-blood families in our community. Yet, I don't think the Prince family was ever related to the Malfoys."

Severus remained silent. Family was not a subject he wanted to talk about. He had not heard about the Princes in ages. He must have been wiped off the family tree somehow – if he had ever been mentioned there. He knew he was a non-existence to them, because of his mother marrying a Muggle. He, as a by-product of this union, had been discarded by his wizarding family.

"Severus, here is my aunt Lavinia Malfoy. She's my father's sister – you remember Abraxas ?"

"Of course I do, Lucius ! I do have an excellent memory too," Severus said in a witty reply that dragged a tiny smirk on the old lady's lips.

"Aunt Lavinia, here's our artist of the day, Miss Lorena Nottingham. You wanted to have the artist at your table, here she is."

"Oh, Lucius, you're such a sweetie," the old witch said. Then turning to the younger man and woman standing nearby her : "Here are my children. My son, Brutus Malfoy, and his son Carolus. My daughter, Drusilla Malfoy. Yes, I married a third cousin of mine, hence the same name," she ended, anticipating the question.

Her two children greeted Severus and Lorena with a polite bow of their heads. "Professor…" They seemed to be about the same age as Severus, the man a bit younger than the Potions Master, the woman younger than her sibling.

"I'm very happy to have you at my table, Miss Nottingham. Lucius had promised me so. He knows he'd better keep his word with me."

They all sat, Lorena at Severus' right while Lavinia Malfoy was at Lorena's right. Lavinia's son was sitting besides Severus, with his own son between him and his sister Drusilla, who was herself at her mother's right.

The topic of the conversation revolved around music and tonight's performance. "Do you know you could be the worthy successor of Celestina Warbeck ?"

Lorena frowned. "Celestina who ?"

"You don't know Celestina Warbeck ?" the old lady asked with a hint of disappointment in her voice.

"No, I'm sorry, madam."

"Pity. She's a great singer. Well, now young people don't know her and how talented she is. More someone of my generation I guess."

"Oh," Lorena said with a smile, hoping there would not be other weird questions like this one. She realized that she had been raised as a Muggle, therefore there were aspects of the wizarding world that she missed completely. Music was one, surprisingly.

"Miss Nottingham, are you related to the famous musician family of Nottingham ? I can't remember the name…"

Lorena had already heard that question – from the Malfoys themselves. "You mean the Winters ?"

"Yes, that's it. The Winters of Nottingham. Very famous family of musicians."

Lorena felt that Severus tensed besides her. But she was decided to give the old lady the same reply she had given to the Malfoys. No need to lie after all. "No, madam. I'm a Muggle-born."

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence. Lorena expected it so she just waited for the others to say something. She would not apologize for her birth. No way.

After long seconds, Lavinia Malfoy opened her mouth again. Lorena was very calm. She had gathered that the old lady was very talkative and would not stay silent for a long time – even after such news.

"Well, I guess there's nothing wrong with that… if my nephew invited you. What do you think, Professor ?"

Severus wanted to have fun with the old witch – after her allusion to his own blood status. He was fed up with these prejudices. "Oh, I'm a half-blood myself, as you mentioned. As long as the musician is good, I don't mind. Miss Nottingham is a good musician. Only a fool would question it." That said it all.

"Oh, I see," Lavinia said, a bit disappointed that the famous Hogwarts Potions Master had not followed her on that path. "Anyway, I wonder, Miss Nottingham, you don't have any wizarding ancestry, yet you managed to bewitch us with your music. Your magic when playing was amazing. Tell me, is it magic on your instruments or musical talent ?"

_Dumbledore was right_, the young woman thought. _Music is magic. Some people confuse both. Interesting._ "I can assure you, Mrs Malfoy, that I didn't magick my instruments. Call it talent – I call it hours and hours of work for years. But maybe you're right about family, blood and all. My parents were musicians themselves."

"Really ? See ! It's all in the blood. Hence the importance of blood in one's family."

Lorena braced herself for the next minutes. She expected the old witch to rant about pure-bloodedness and the like. Yet, Lavinia's last sentence told Lorena that if she kept the old lady in that direction, she may make her talk about family and her family members… among them a certain Calpurnia Malfoy.

She could feel Severus getting nervous – family was not one of his favorite topics. Lorena had gathered that this particular issue was to be avoided with him. Except that this time, she _had_ to know. The end justified the means.

"You're completely right, Mrs Malfoy. Each family has their talents."

"I'm glad you share the same point of view as we pure-bloods. Rather rare for a Muggle-born like you. What has convinced you to think the same ?"

"I can see the example of my parents. My mother was a music teacher and a talented concert player. My father is a very gifted musician, he can play several instruments to almost perfection. He's also a very fast learner when it comes to music." Now was the right moment to send the conversation in the desired direction. "I'm sure you can provide me with some examples in your own family, Mrs Malfoy."

Lorena felt Severus stiffening besides her. His right hand touched her left thigh discreetly in a warning but she did not care.

"Oh yes, you're right. You see, we Malfoys, we are related to all the great wizarding families in Britain. The Blacks – my nephew married a Black girl. The Blacks are a very important family, they are related to many other pure-blood wizarding families too."

The mention of the Black family sent Severus into a foul mood. Lorena could feel it through his hand still on her thigh. But the matter was too much important for her to take his feelings into account. She discarded his touch and discreetly removed his hand from her thigh with her napkin.

Lavinia Malfoy went on, glad to see that she had an audience. "We are also related to the Prewetts, the Lestranges, the Yaxleys, the Weasleys, the Bulstrodes, the MacMillans, to name a few." A pause. "Yet, the most important connection the Malfoy family has is with one particular family in our community. A very important family."

"Oh, that's fascinating," Lorena said. She was truly interested. "And what is that family ?"

"The Gaunt family."

At this point, Severus' foul mood over the Black family disappeared all of a sudden. His keen mind realized where Lorena was leading the old witch. _Very clever and so Slytherin._ He became interested despite the topic – a topic he did not like to talk about. Save that this time, he was not doing the talking. After all, this was not _his_ family that was discussed.

"The Gaunt family ?" Lorena repeated. She hid it well but inside, her heart raced fast.

"Yes, my dear," the old lady went on. "You see, me and Abraxas' father, Brutus Malfoy, had a sister. She was called Calpurnia. That sister married a Gaunt. Thaddeus Gaunt. Thanks to my aunt Calpurnia, my father's sister, the Malfoys became part of one of the most important pure-blood wizarding families in Britain."

"Oh," Lorena said admiratively. Inside, she was gleaming with joy. The issue of the place of Calpurnia Gaunt in the Malfoy family was now resolved. However, she wondered what had been so important with the Gaunt family – the scene she had witnessed in Dumbledore's Pensieve had showed a lonely man living in appalling conditions in a ruined shack. How could the Gaunts be that important, compared to the Malfoys, for example, who were filthy rich ? "I thought that the Malfoys were the most important pure-blood wizarding families."

_Now that's wicked, Lorena_, Severus thought, proud of her cunning to trap the old lady with pride and entice her to talk more.

"We are, we are indeed. But the Gaunts are a very special family in the wizarding world in the UK." Lavinia paused and began to speak with a conspiracy tone. "You see, my dear miss, the Gaunts are the last living descendants of Salazar Slytherin."

At this point, Lorena remained silent. Puzzlement showed on her face. "You mean… THE Salazar Slytherin of Hogwarts ? The founder of the House of Slytherin ?" _No, it can't be that._

"The very same," the old witch confirmed. "The one who was a Parselmouth."

The mention of Parseltongue seemed to puzzle Lorena even more.

"Were all the Gaunts Parselmouth ?" Severus asked in turn, now fully interested in the conversation.

Lavinia looked at him with a haunting air on her face. "I can see that Muggle-borns are not the only ones to be so blatantly ignorant," she said disdainfully, forgetting she was talking to one of the most respected Potions Masters in the wizarding world – the whole world, not only Britain. "Of course, all the Gaunts were Parselmouth ! That's a family trait that is passed down from one generation to the other into their family. I thought that the Head of the House of Slytherin in Hogwarts knew this. Ha ! But you're only a half-blood," she concluded with a sneer.

Severus sent her one of his usual death glares – which left the old witch totally unfazed. She was a Malfoy, she was a pure-blood witch, she was old enough to speak her mind freely to whomever she wanted, especially to younger people. Not even a Potions Master, not even a Dark wizard, could prevent her from doing so.

Lorena was shocked to hear the old witch talking like this about Professor Snape. Yet, she was still processing the words she had heard about the Gaunt family. Too many clues converged to the same point. There was only one logical conclusion to all this. One she could not voice. One she could not avoid.

She was a descendant of Salazar Slytherin.

The problem was, she was not the only one in that position.

* * *

_**Take a good measure of the infamous Aunt Muriel Weasley, the insolent old lady of the**_** Deathly Hallows**_**, mix it with a pinch of Phineas Nigellus Black's sarcastic nature for good measure and you get my character of Lavinia Malfoy. I had fun writing her ! How much I like these characters of cheeky old ladies that are free to speak their minds – privilege of age, I guess. My secret hope is I'll be like that in my old age. LOL**_

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	88. Answers leading to questions

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**8****8 – Answers leading to questions**

Lorena managed to get a grip on the emotion that had seized her when learning that the Gaunts were the descendants of Salazar Slytherin. And so she was. Along with a Dark wizard that had claimed himself to be the only 'Heir of Slytherin'. She understood better now why he had said so then, when she had been into the Pensieve, with Severus, to check Morfin Gaunt's memory. Therefore, she was also an 'Heir of Slytherin', as well as her father – and her unborn son.

It took her a good minute to focus on her questions and put her ideas in good order for further use.

"Mrs Malfoy, you're telling a fascinating story. So these Gaunts, are they still around ? I mean, such a great family…"

Lavinia Malfoy snorted. "Thaddeus had a brother, Marvolo. But this Marvolo character… a complete moron, in my opinion. He married a pure-blood witch who managed to give him two children. A son and a daughter. The son was not even able to father a child in his turn. Well, if you had seen Morfin Gaunt, you would have preferred to kiss a Dementor instead. I never met him but my aunt Calpurnia did and she had told me. Morfin was as ugly as sin and as stupidly stubborn as his father. Unfortunately, the name of Gaunt stopped with him. He died in Azkaban, if my memory serves me well." She paused. "As for Marvolo's daughter… don't talk about her. You see, she had married a Muggle !" She made a disgusted face. "But the gods must have punished her. She disappeared from the wizarding world. Not a big deal after all ! We don't need blood traitors like that !"

Lorena thought about her grandmother. She realized that Cassiope Gaunt had had the same fate, more or less, than her cousin Merope Gaunt. Was Lavinia Malfoy aware that Merope Gaunt had had a son ? Lorena deemed it unwise to reveal this detail to the old witch. "Please tell me, what happened to your aunt Calpurnia ? I mean, did she have kids ?"

Lavinia Malfoy looked at her quizzically before realizing that the young witch sitting on her left could not see her. "Of course, she did ! Women in our families have a tremendous responsibility. They have to bear children to continue the name." She paused. "Calpurnia had borne a girl to Thaddeus. Unfortunately for her, the childbirth had been very difficult and she could not bear other children for him to their term. She miscarried them all."

"So the name of Gaunt had stopped on that side too."

"Alas, yes."

"What happened to this Gaunt daughter though ?" Lorena managed to keep cool – inside her heart was beating wildly. Her grandmother !

"The girl, my first cousin, was called Cassiope. A real Slytherin, I can tell you ! She was determined and resourceful a girl. One day, she disappeared too. I don't know what happened to her, what had gotten into her mind. It was as if she had fallen off the surface of the earth. Why all these Gaunt girls had gone, what had gotten into their minds ? No idea. Some said Cassiope had met a Muggle and married him. Some others said she had been killed and her body was never found. But one thing is sure : she was not a Squib and she knew her business in magic. I guess we'll never know the truth about Cassiope," she ended with a bitter tone.

Lorena had to bite her tongue to prevent herself from telling the old witch 'I am Cassiope Gaunt's granddaughter'. She kept silent – this was not the right time or place to make such revelations. She could not help thinking that her grandmother had been particularly smart. Her plan had succeeded : to be definitively lost for the wizarding world. "That's truly a fascinating story, Mrs Malfoy." Besides, she was happy to hear someone from the wizarding world talk about her grandmother in such glowing terms. Apparently, both first cousins Cassiope and Lavinia must have got along well.

"There are many stories like this in our families. Yet, I must reckon that these disappearances from the most important family in our world, have deprived us of possible descendants of the great Salazar Slytherin." She sighed.

Her last comment gave Lorena an idea. She bit her lower lip. The question burnt her tongue. She pushed her luck. "Please tell me, Mrs Malfoy, how would you… react if you learned that… that there would be other descendants of Salazar Slytherin… alive ?"

Her question took Severus off guard. Again, she felt his hand on her thigh, tighter than before this time. She discarded the warning. She wanted to know.

"Well, I guess I'd be happy," the old lady said with a doubtful expression on her face. "Provided they're not as stupid as Marvolo and his offspring, of course."

"And… what would be your reaction if you learned that the Malfoy family may have gained another member, someone that may have not been… known to your family ? I mean… someone descending from your cousin, Cassiope Gaunt ?"

_This time, Lorena, you're going too far !_ the Potions Master thought. His thought had been strong enough for Lorena to perceive it.

The old witch looked at Lorena with a frown. Severus had caught the expression on her face. "Young lady, if you speak about a bastard in the family, I don't think they would be even worth mentioning."

"Real families stick together," Lorena stated casually. "And I didn't mention an illegitimate offspring."

Lavinia Malfoy snorted. "Well, I guess we could make some room to welcome them after all. You're right, real families stick together. On certain conditions though. Have you ever heard that some pure-blood families have disowned some of their members, striking them off their family trees, just because those members had run away or been friendly with Muggles or eloped with one of them ? The best example of these practices is the Black family. I've heard from Narcissa here that there's a tapestry of the Black family tree in one of their houses where such names have been burnt to oblivion. So real families do stick together but on certain conditions – of blood and behavior, of course."

Severus was careful not to reveal anything that could show he knew about this tapestry. It was hanged in the drawing room of the 12 Grimmauld Place, the Black house where the Order of the Phoenix had their headquarters. Sirius Black had been one of them members thus 'burnt to oblivion'.

"I understand," Lorena said. "That's a truly fascinating story. I think you should write a book about everything you know about all this."

"Certainly not !" the old woman exclaimed. "I let that to the likes of Rita Skeeter. These are confidential stories. Well, I wonder how I could have told you all this. I shouldn't have. My late husband used to tell me I was way too much talkative."

"I did appreciate the talk, Mrs Malfoy," Lorena said gently.

_I bet you have_, Severus thought. For a second or two, he even wondered if Lorena had not drunk a sip of a _Felix Felicis_ potion somehow, the way she had managed to make the old witch talk that easily. He had to admit that the young woman at his side had been particularly smart – very Slytherin in her approach to gain information.

He checked his pocket watch and noticed that the two-hours time for the concealment charm were about to elapse. He imagined shagging Lorena hard and deep to muster enough desire to send a lust wave to her Love-Snakes, as a reminder.

"Will you excuse me, Mrs Malfoy, but I need to go to the restrooms," Lorena said. "Professor, would you guide me there ?"

Severus stood up and they both went to the restrooms located outside the room where the dinner was taking place. They followed a corridor before Severus pushed a door and let her in.

Once they were inside, Severus cast a silencing spell. He seized her arm to drag her to him.

"What has gotten into you, Lorena ?" he asked, anger on his face and in his voice.

"Gotten what, Professor ?" she replied though she was fully aware he may have gathered the purpose of her scheme by now.

"Your little discussion with Lucius' aunt ! Has it crossed that scheming mind of yours that she may repeat your questions to him ?"

"So what ?" Lorena replied icily.

"So what ?" Severus repeated. "You're asking 'so what' ? Let me tell you 'so what'. If Lucius knows about your questions and the replies his dear aunt gave you, he will add two and two together about your origins. I remind you that he knows you're a Parselmouth, whereas his aunt doesn't. Next step : he will report everything to the Dark Lord !"

"I think you jump too quickly to the conclusions, Professor. Lavinia Malfoy may not speak to her nephew about all this. If she does, she may not give my questions and her replies to him. In the event Lucius Malfoy learns every single detail of our conversation, he may just keep quiet."

"You think so ? When such an opportunity to report something so interesting to the Dark Lord arises ? You've got to be kidding !"

"I'm not. Have you listened to her ? Have you, Professor ? The Malfoys are a family that sticks together. Being a housemate with Draco Malfoy has taught me that about them. I thought you would have gathered that, you go back a longer way with Lucius and Narcissa than I do after all." She paused. "I'm not sure whether Lucius would report against a member of his family to the Dark Lord."

"Because you consider yourself as a member of the Malfoy family now ? You're just a…"

"A blind, filthy Mudblood whore, Professor ? Just good enough to be fucked, preferably in a non-consensual manner, by the lord of the manor ?" She snorted. "Believe what you want, I don't care. I've reached my goal : I came here to get answers and I have them. Answers that make me technically a member of their family, yes !" She sighed. "Tomorrow, we're back to Hogwarts, to safety. I'm not afraid."

"You should be, Lorena. You should. Believe me, you should."

She turned her heels and entered one of the restroom cubicles. She locked the door, cast a silencing spell and took a deep breath. She sat on the toilet seat, her head between her hands, letting out a silent sob. Severus was so difficult. He could not understand her need to know, to know the truth. He had lived so deep in lies for so long – and he continued to do so – as a double agent. His whole life was a bundle of lies. That was his choice, not hers. Her choice was to get to the truth, to understand where she came from in order to know where she was going. If he could not understand that, he would never understand a single thing about her either.

_Better let him go._ She was right to leave him. Tomorrow, in the quiet of her dorm, she would write him a letter telling him every thing was over between them definitively. She did not care about the Unbreakable Vow any longer. He may still marry her but they would be nothing more for each other – at least for her. She sighed deeply. She took out her wand and began to cast the concealment charm over her garments.

She came out of the cubicle once she had regained her composure. She went to the jug and washed her hands. She was drying her hands on a towel when she heard the door open.

"Well, well, well, what a nice meeting here. Snape and that filthy Mudblood."

"Bellatrix," Severus said casually, naming the newcomer so that Lorena be warned of whom had just entered.

Lorena remembered what the Potions Master had told her about the woman. "Mrs Lestrange," she said in a polite acknowledgment.

Bellatrix looked at her hauntingly. "You dare address me, Mudblood ?" she snarled with contempt.

"Bella, Miss Nottingham was polite with you. Don't go thinking otherwise," he warned her.

"Snape, you filthy half-blood, I've asked you nothing !" she slurred.

Severus could hear in her voice that she must have drunk too much. He stepped forward so as to protect the younger witch.

"Ah, ah, shielding the girl, Snape ? How chivalrous of yours !" she sneered. She pushed him with a strength that surprised him for a half-drunk woman.

Bellatrix stood right in front of Lorena. "I enjoyed your music, Mudblood. Yet, I'm sure there are other ways to enjoy _you_. You look like you have other talents." Saying so, she put her hand on Lorena's cheek, tracing her jaw line with her fingers. "You have a lovely figure, a pretty face. Tell me," she went on with a sugar-coated voice, "tell me, has Snape ever tried his luck with you ?" she slurred sensually.

"He's my professor and Head of House, Mrs Lestrange," Lorena replied coldly.

"You mean… you're in Slytherin ?"

"Yes."

"Oh, then things are easier for Snape to get you. A Mudblood like you cannot pretend to get a pure-blood wizard. You should be happy to have a half-blood wizard willing enough to fuck you !"

"Bellatrix, that's enough !" Severus barked.

"Snape, stay out of it, this is a girls' conversation !" Bellatrix said with a girlish tone that matched her words. "You know, I like to have fun with a woman. It does excite my dear husband Rodolphus to see me with a woman. I think I know what kind of fun I could have with you, Mudblood… You'd be my sex slave, I could have sex with you, and we could finish with Rod in a threesome. What do you think ?"

Lorena was disgusted by the words uttered. Bellatrix tried to kiss her on her lips but Lorena had perceived her very intentions. She managed to step away. "I'm not interested. Leave me alone !"

"Oh, oh, a virgin ? No, I don't think so. The Dark Lord mentioned a child you're carrying… Oh, I forgot to tell you, Mudblood : you're not safe with that filthy half-blood here… You see, he loves taking advantage of women. Tell her, Snape, how many women did you…"

Severus did not let her finish. "Enough, Bellatrix ! Enough !" he cut her off. Her words had roused some memories he had preferred to remain buried forever.

"Rod told me that you were given as a slave to the Dark Lord by… Snape himself. Did you know that you had been surrendered to the Dark Lord by the very man that wants to show you how much he can protect you ? Nice protection, don't you think ? So, if Snape did give you to our Master, he could give you to me."

"No, she belongs to the Dark Lord ! He has instructed me to protect her, Bella, so back off now !" Severus said angrily while dragging Lorena to him in a protective gesture, away from the older witch.

"You're no fun, Snape ! I would have used her tonight. Just tonight. Then Rod would have fun with her too. The Dark Lord would have known nothing about what was done with his slave… especially if she's already pregnant !"

"Bella, you're too much drunk, you don't realize what you've just said. I could report your words to our Master and you'd be thoroughly punished, along with your husband," Severus said with a cold, threatening growl. "Now, go back to the dining room, to Rodolphus. Or just go to bed."

"I'll ask the Dark Lord this favor, Snape," Bellatrix said with a pouting expression on her face. "I know he won't refuse it to me. He never refused me an opportunity to enjoy a Mudblood. Ever."

"Get. Out." Severus was back into his Death-Eater mood – growling tone, bared teeth, an icy, dark gaze. Meant to kill. Bellatrix sensed it. She complied and left the restrooms.

"I'm sorry, Professor," Lorena apologized with a meek voice. "Thank you for your protection." Though some of Bellatrix' words had left her thoughtful about some of his past actions.

Severus turned his charcoal eyes on the young witch. "Now I hope you understand how foolish it was to have come here ! Now, not only I must protect you from the Dark Lord, but also from one of his most dangerous followers !" He dragged her to him. "Do you have any idea how serious this is ?"

"You have to protect me from all the Death-Eaters, not only from one Bellatrix Lestrange, Professor," Lorena retorted with dare. "I don't think the Dark Lord will grant her this favor. Besides, she's completely drunk, as you noticed. She won't remember what she had just said, by tomorrow morning !"

"I wouldn't bet on that, Lorena. Bellatrix is known to be a vicious bitch. She enjoys behaving like a slut. She is a notorious bisexual and she likes a threesome or a foursome every now and then."

"You've been with her before ? In these circumstances ?" came the unexpected questions.

Severus had been surprised by Lorena's questions. He remained silent a few seconds enough to inform Lorena. Through their physical contact, the young woman knew the reply – despite his Occluded mind.

"Not your concern, Lorena."

"I take that as a 'yes' then. You have," she replied coldly. She had perceived a few memories. Yes, he spoke the truth, Bellatrix Lestrange was a real bitch. Her husband Rodolphus was the indulgent type.

"Jealous, Lorena ?" Severus said scornfully.

"Jealous of that… slut, as you put it ? No." She swallowed, thinking about the glimpse of memories she had seen in his mind. "Just sad for you, for being degraded that way by her. Sad that you had to…"

"I don't need your pity !" he snapped at her angrily. He knew she had seen memories of a past that he would have gladly forgotten.

"Indeed. You don't need my pity, Severus. I already gave you more than that, something far more valuable, and you know what it is," Lorena said softly. She alluded to her virginity and her powers, but most of all her love, that unconditional love she felt for him. She put her hand on his cheek, in a sweet caress.

Severus felt moved for a few seconds. He wanted to kiss her but anybody could enter the restrooms and find them in a rather compromising position. Despite the lust he felt for her, the hardness in his trousers, his possessiveness, he removed her hand gently. He knew that if he began to kiss her, he would end up dragging her in one of the cubicles and take her there hard – whether she was consenting or not. No, he would take her in a bed.

"Lorena, we should go back to the dining room. Otherwise, some people may begin to have suspicions." He had spoken very sweetly all of a sudden. She nodded. He took her elbow and guided her out.

* * *

When they entered the dining room, the first thing Severus did was to check where Bellatrix was. She had come back to her husband's table. She was talking animatedly, probably sharing with the others at her table about the conversation she had just had in the restrooms with Severus and Lorena.

"Oh, oh, here's the couple of the year !" she slurred. Her remark triggered off guffaws from her table. All the heads in the room turned to the pair standing at the entrance.

"Bella, please…" Narcissa tried to contain her sister. Lucius glared at his sister-in-law, while elbowing Rodolphus, ordering him silently to keep his wife in check.

"And see that, they're just under the mistletoe !" a male voice said, that Severus recognized as belonging to Walden MacNair.

That was enough to launch Bellatrix. "Oh, that means that Snape has to kiss the Mudblood !"

Some guests began to talk to each other. Not about the kiss to be given. About the young artist's blood status. Lucius and Narcissa had had tact enough to hide everybody Lorena's blood status. Now all their guests were informed.

MacNair – who seemed to have drunk a lot too – began to talk in a loud slur. "I'd like to see that, that Mudblood being kissed. Hey, Snape, care to do her that favor ? After all, you're under the mistletoe too !"

"No, that's the Mudblood that will do Snape a favor !" Rodolphus quipped.

More laughs around the table followed his remark, especially from Bellatrix. The Death-Eaters present – except Lucius and his wife – cheered loudly about MacNair's and Rodolphus' comments.

Severus' charcoal gaze shot them daggers. But as the others were quite drunk, they remained unfazed by his murderous glare.

"Snape, show her or I'll do it myself !" MacNair said while standing up from his chair.

Lorena sensed danger. _Professor, do it, just a quick peck ! No need to get them more excited than they already are_, he could hear in his mind, through her contact telepathy.

Severus deemed she was right. Better be him than MacNair. Before the others could react, he gave her a quick kiss on her cheek. The guests clapped in their hands, whistled and cheered loudly. He led her back to their table quickly while Lucius managed to get MacNair to sit down and quiet – before a fight might break out. Sensing he may have gone too far, MacNair simmered down. The rest of the guests followed suit and the conversations resumed at their usual level.

Lorena had never been ashamed of her blood status. Yet, she felt sorry for Severus who had been compelled to kiss her – even in a very chaste fashion – in front of everyone, while she knew he was a private man.

"This Bellatrix Lestrange… she's got no manners at all, for a pure-blood witch," Lavinia Malfoy commented once they sit down. "Ah, Professor, miss, don't you worry about this. We know that this is indeed a tradition, no offense intended."

"No offense taken, madam," Lorena said. "At least for me. Professor Snape is not one to take advantage of his students."

"They were drunk," Severus said gloomily. "Yet, I don't like to be the object of general attention like this."

"Professor, no harm done," said Lavinia. "Your reputation's still intact. Only an ill-mannered fool like Bellatrix Lestrange has damaged _her_ reputation. As well as the man that insisted for you to kiss your student."

"Clearly, blood is not everything," Severus said with a ferocious tone.

"Nor is wealth," Lavinia Malfoy agreed. "Now, I'm sure that my nephew will provide us with a wonderful cake. I must ask Narcissa the name of her supplier. Unless her house elves cook it ? I'll ask her then to lend me the creature…"

* * *

_**Ah, Bellatrix Lestrange… **_***sigh* **_**She's a one. By the way, I love the way she's portrayed by Helena Bonham-Carter in the movie**__**s. Completely insane and psychotic. Of course, I made Bellatrix totally sluttish and bitchy here. A real pest. Well, honestly, I would not be surprised if she behaved like this. This time, I'm sure this one is in character.**_

_**Lavinia Malfoy still the same cheeky old lady – yet with pride and common sense.**_

_**I hope I did keep Severus in character too – in his ferocity and possessiveness. I love when he's in his Death-Eater mode.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	89. My worst enemy

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**8****9 – My worst enemy**

After the dessert, Lucius Malfoy had come to their table to apologize to his aunt for the fuss made by Bellatrix and MacNair. Lavinia scolded him about his poor choice of friends. Severus enjoyed seeing his Death-Eater friend being reprimanded like a schoolboy about his acquaintances. _Serves him right !_ he could not help thinking. And like any schoolboy reprimanded by an adult, Lucius Malfoy remained silent and kept an unusual modest attitude about himself in front of his aunt – his father's sister.

Lorena took the opportunity to beg him permission to leave, as she felt tired. Lucius agreed and thanked her again for her performance tonight. Severus and the young witch left the dining room for their bedroom upstairs. Their departure was made under a Disillusionment charm so as not to draw more attention on them – the mistletoe episode had been more than enough for them both. On their way to their bedroom, they went to the library where Lorena retrieved her trusty alto violin.

Once in their bedroom, Lorena went to her trunk to retrieve her nightgown and place her instrument there. Without a word for Severus, she closed herself in the bathroom, getting rid of the various makeup and hairdo spells Narcissa had cast upon her, as well as removing her lovely green dress and the undershirt under. She cleaned her teeth too. She put on her nightgown, sorry about the nasty encounter with Bellatrix Lestrange, yet glad to have gotten the answers she needed to her questions. That only was worth the whole hassle with the female Death-Eater. The concert had been a success and to top it all off, she had earned 500 extra galleons. All in all, the whole operation had been a success. From a Slytherin point of view.

Lorena was about to go out of the bathroom when she heard someone enter the place. Severus' deep voice could be heard, talking calmly with a voice she recognized as Lucius Malfoy's.

"I'm sorry, Severus, for the stunt Bella has pulled with you and our young artist. She shouldn't have."

"No, indeed, she shouldn't. Well, this is Bella alright. Once she's drunk, there's nothing much we can do. We met her in the restrooms and I must tell you, she behaved nastily with Miss Nottingham."

"You know how she can be with Mudbloods, Severus." Lucius did not try to know what kind of nasty behavior his sister-in-law had had.

"Yes, a complete jerk, I know," the Potions Master said with scorn. "Thing was, she made untoward advances to Miss Nottingham, even alluding to the fact that I should hand Miss Nottingham to her for her dirty little games with Rodolphus, if you see what I mean."

Lucius chuckled. "I see what you mean. Bella's a slut and a complete idiot when drunk. Does she know that the girl is off limits ? That the girl belongs to the Dark Lord ?"

"If not, now she knows. I told her," Severus replied firmly. "At last, I reminded her of his orders to me concerning Miss Nottingham. I prefer to tell you, Lucius, I intend to carry out our Master's orders to the letter. If Bella crosses the threshold of this room to get Miss Nottingham, I'll hex her. Hard. I prefer to warn you in anticipation as we are in your house."

"Don't worry, Severus. She would have deserved it. Just because I've earned myself a scold from my dear aunt Lavinia, on account of Bella. By the way, I hope my aunt was not a pain to you, she can be a real chatterbox sometimes."

"No, she was kind enough, considering she shared her meal with a Mudblood and a half-blood," Severus replied sarcastically.

Lucius chuckled again. "Yes, you're right. It didn't even cross her mind to hex me for that. Though she was the one to ask to eat with the artist, mind you. I wouldn't have you both at the same table as my dear sister-in-law. I considered Aunt Lavinia was a safer choice for the both of you."

"A wiser choice, I'd say. A chatterbox is less dangerous than a sadistic pervert like Bella."

This time, Lucius giggled before becoming serious again. "Severus, just to warn you. Bella may come here."

"What for ? To claim her prize ?"

"Well, yes. That's what she told us, more or less. She's very stubborn, she can even send Rodolphus here."

"I don't care but nobody shall prevent me from carrying out the orders the Dark Lord gave me, that is, to protect the girl."

"I don't blame you for that. Yet, don't be too harsh on them then, Severus. You know I don't like disorder in my house and I know you have some pretty nasty hexes up that black sleeve of yours."

"I'll keep that in mind, Lucius."

"Be careful. You know how Bella is when she's in need of sex."

"I know that, no need to remind me of." Severus' tone was tainted with sadness and humiliation.

Lucius put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Severus, I know what she did to you once, putting you under that Imperius Curse to get from you…"

"That was long ago, Lucius," Severus cut him off sharply.

"You never told me what had really happened then… between you and Bella."

"Please, Lucius, let the sleeping dragons lie." Severus' tone was harsh.

At this point, Lorena's ear was glued to the bathroom door. Maybe she could get an extra bonus in terms of answers to some of her questions.

"I think you should talk about it, Severus," Lucius said again. "Would do you good."

"Good to me or to you, Lucius ? Why should I tell you things that you may use later against me ?"

"Against you ? Merlin forbids, no, Severus !" Lucius paused. "Bella is a nasty piece of work. Besides Cruciating her victims, one of her favorite games is to Imperius them to do her bidding. I've been down that road too with her, you know."

Severus snorted. "Really ? While married to her very sister ?"

The mention of marriage made Lorena think what kind of bidding may have been involved…

"No, that was before I got married to Narcissa. My wife is… aware of this anyway. Bella's her sister but fortunately for me, I got the best lot between them both. Narcissa is rather the opposite of her sister. She's not one to hex a wizard to get sexual favors from him." Another pause. "Because this is how it happened between you and Bella, I guess."

A silence. Deep and thick. That spoke volumes.

"Listen, Lucius, I don't want to talk about it. Please." There was almost a plea in Severus' voice. _Severus Snape begging ?_ Lorena thought. _Well, it must have been real hurtful then._

"Alright, Severus. I respect that. We'll see you tomorrow then for lunch."

"No, Lucius. We'll be gone before. Not that I refuse your hospitality but I have a few loose ends to tie up at Hogwarts before the students come back."

"I understand. Where's Miss Nottingham by the way ? I had come here also to give her this." Saying so, he took a bag from under his robes.

Severus said nothing but he just knocked at the bathroom door. "Miss Nottingham ? Please step out of the bathroom, Lucius Malfoy would like to see you."

Lorena swallowed. Quickly, she cast the Notice-Me-Not charm on her garments. She assured herself that she was decent in her nightgown. She threw her dressing robe over herself before going out.

"Yes, Professor ?"

"Miss Nottingham, I've come to give you something you rightfully earned tonight." Lucius got closer to her, took her hand in his and put the bag in her hand. "The other 500 galleons. As promised. Malfoys always stick to their word."

A tiny smile crept on Lorena's lips. "Thank you, Mr Malfoy. Very gentlemanly of yours," she said softly. "I believe then that you and your wife did enjoy the concert."

"We did and so did our guests. I even saw that my son really enjoys your music."

"If you're happy, then I am."

"Excellent. I'll let you have rest. Goodnight. Severus," Lucius said on his way out. "We'll see you both tomorrow morning before you leave. Narcissa will have my hide if I let you go without you bidding her goodbye."

"Don't worry, Lucius, I will not insult you both that way." Lorena could hear Severus was sincere.

They were alone again. Lorena went to her trunk where she put the bag containing the galleons, safely hidden between her garments. She was about to go to bed when a loud knock on the door could be heard. She heard the bedroom door open and a cackling voice sounding. She knew exactly who had just crossed the threshold. She kept her breath.

"Well, well, Severus, about to have a shag with the Mudblood ?" Bellatrix said with a slur. She had seen the young witch in a nightgown under her dressing gown. Severus had just removed the beautiful dress robes he had worn over his usual black attire.

"Bella, you're drunk, you should go back to your room now," Severus said coldly.

"No, I've just taken a Sobering Potion my dear sister has in her stores. A potion prepared by you, I guess. Well, at least, you can prove yourself useful, Snape. So I've come to get the Mudblood tonight. For me and Rod's entertainment. She was so good an entertainer with her instruments. I'm sure she can prove even better in bed. I've already a few ideas about what she could do for our pleasure." She giggled madly.

"Bella, I've told you already, but you were surely too much drunk then to listen carefully. She belongs to the Dark Lord," Severus said with his quiet yet dangerous tone. "Now, get out of here !"

Bellatrix got closer to Severus. "These are just empty words. You say so to cover that nice arse of yours but on first occasion, you'll just slither back into your hole." A silence. "If you're so much afraid of what may happen to that Mudblood, why not joining us, Snape ? You may fuck her… like you fucked me, all those years ago, remember ?"

Severus had remained calm, quiet. Nothing on his face or in his body attitude betrayed the seething anger building up in him at the mention of a past he would have gladly forgotten. A past he would have never mentioned to Lorena.

Bellatrix turned her heavy-lidded eyes to the younger witch. "Did you know that, Mudblood, that your Professor here, is a wonderful lover ? Have you ever wondered ?"

Lorena remained silent. She lowered her gaze, in case Bellatrix may try Legilimency on her. She was not sure if the older witch was proficient at this but no need to take the risk.

"I can see that you don't know that. Shame. I've even been the first one for him. The Dark Lord had noticed that Severus Snape had never been with a woman before. That was just after you had taken the Dark Mark, Snape, remember ? I do. He was still pining over that redhead Mudblood and would not hear about having any other woman. I had to cast the Imperius Curse in order to have him in my bed and make a man of him."

Lorena gasped. Bellatrix saw this and laughed maniacally. "Oh, I had volunteered because I'd been told he was hung like a hippogriff. I had wanted to see if that was the truth. I was curious and it paid off. He was. I had my fun all night long. At the end of the night, he was a man and an absolute lover. You should try him. That's all the trouble he's worth, besides brewing potions."

Severus had not been violated by Bellatrix, just compelled to satisfy her like the sexual object he had become for her for one night. Once confirmed in her assumption over his male attributes, she could not be stopped in her own lust. Severus had had to comply then...

"Why do you hate him then ?" Lorena asked, an angry look on her face.

Severus had wanted to tell her to keep quiet. But he was too much mortified by the conversation to utter a single word. Or rather, he knew that if he opened his mouth, it would be to hex the older witch hard and nasty. His hand twitched to take out his wand. He knew better though – if he did so, Bellatrix would do the same and only Merlin knew how it would end up. Severus knew that his worst enemy was himself first. His best weapon was still the control he could have over his own impulses and instincts.

Bellatrix snarled. "Then I heard he was only a half-blood, while I had always thought he was a pure-blood. I was disgusted. To have had sex with a filthy half-blood ! That's the reason why I hate him !"

Severus had regained a firm grip on his emotions. "Why don't you hate the Dark Lord then – you had to do this on _his_ orders after all ! Besides, you seemed to have kept fond memories of the event," he commented sarcastically.

Bellatrix shot him a disgusted glare. "I could never hate our beloved Master ! He never lied to me ! You lied to me about your blood status !"

For a moment, Lorena wondered if Bellatrix Lestrange was not having a fit of jealousy. _Does she suspect something between me and Severus ?_ She Occluded her mind even tighter.

Bellatrix turned her attention to Lorena again. "It's important for a young witch to have as many experiences as possible. Above all as far as sex is concerned. Come with me and I'll show you what a good fuck is. Rod will too." Her tone was that of the good friend trying to lead her best friend into a trap.

"I'm sorry, madam, but I was already shown this. By the Dark Lord himself." Her tone was cold yet detached. A tad provocative. Yet very respectful when saying 'Dark Lord'. Lorena thought that if she showed reverence to their Master, it would work in her favor. Still her Slytherin self-preservation kicking in.

Severus could not help smirking. Inside, he had to reckon the girl did not lack self-control. _Like she had had with the Dark Lord, on Halloween night._

Bellatrix watched her, clear puzzlement written on her face. "You ? The Dark Lord… fucked you ?"

Lorena was surprised. She did not expect that Bellatrix, Voldemort's lover, was not aware of this. Apparently, he had kept his little secrets for some people more than others. Even Lucius Malfoy seemed to know about this.

Bellatrix' eyes narrowed on the young woman. A vicious smirk crept on her plump lips. "Well, well… what a piece of news… I supposed he had a goal in all this. The Dark Lord never moves without a purpose. Even less when a Mudblood is involved." A pause, during which she seemed to think hard about the next evil thing to say. Her smile went broader. "Never mind. I offer you now the occasion to expand your sexual experience. With me and Rod. Pure-blood witch and wizard. As a Mudblood, that's an opportunity you won't have much in life."

"As I told you earlier, madam, I'm not interested."

"Oh, don't tell me you prefer to stay in that room with Snape !" She glanced at the twin beds. "Sleeping in two different beds. Snape, I'm surprised. Even disappointed. From what I remember of you, you're not the kind of man to sleep in the same room with such a lovely woman, without bedding her."

"It happens, Bella, that I don't bed my students. Miss Nottingham is one of my students. You were told that earlier but you were too much drunk to remember," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"She doesn't look like a little girl to me," Bellatrix said. "On the contrary, a full grown woman. Alright, up to you, Mudblood. Pity. If you come with us, willingly, you'll have the time of your life, between me and Rod. While if you stay here… I should warn you. You're in danger, sharing the same room as _him_."

"I don't think so. He never made any filthy comments and untoward advances like you did tonight," Lorena said coldly. That was not exactly true but Bellatrix did not need to know the truth.

"You don't think so ?" Bellatrix went into a mad laughter. "Let me tell you this, Mudblood. Snape has a bad reputation among us Death-Eaters. He loves taking advantage of women… against their will… if you see what I mean. That filthy half-blood is so ugly, so frightening, that most of the time, he's the one ordered to rape women during our raids and revels ! I can tell you, he utterly enjoys that !"

Lorena gasped. Something in her chest tightened. She swallowed with horror. Bellatrix laughed triumphantly – she had noticed the gasp. "So you're going to share your room with a patented rapist. Unless you like _that_. Violent sex. Shame – I like it too. To give it, naturally. Of course, if you prefer consensual sex, you may still come with me."

Lorena remained motionless, her face reflecting horror at what she had just heard. What if Bellatrix was right ? Not that she would have followed the older witch – she was aware she would not have been treated better, as a Muggle-born. Yet, she was about to share her room with a man that had already raped her, a man that had already tried to do so two other times. A man she knew to be prone to violent outbursts. A man that had an evil reputation as far as sex was concerned, even among his brethren… A possessive man that nurtured lust for her.

"So I can see you prefer to be raped here by that filthy half-blood… instead of having satisfying sex with me and my dear husband. Up to you, Mudblood ! Don't go around complaining then, you've been warned !" On these words, Bellatrix left the bedroom.

Severus released the breath he had been holding. Lorena sat on her bed, a shattered look on her face. Bellatrix may have exaggerated, even lied. Yet, given Severus' past behavior with her, Lorena had to admit that there must have been some truth behind her words.

Severus could read all this on her face. So he decided to remain silent. _No need to convince her that this is not true. She won't believe me, after what I've done to her already._ Lorena had been the only woman he had taken against her will out of passion and lust. While the others… He had never taken any pleasure in doing this. He sighed silently and cast a whole series of complicated wards on the door, as well as a silencing spell over the room.

Lorena felt the magic thus cast. _He does so, so that he can use me that way, like she did say._ Her heart felt heavy. She quickly slid herself into bed, her wand at the ready under her pillow.

Severus had seen her putting her wand there. He began to undress. She was blind, she could not see him. He went into bed and cast '_Nox_' silently. He did not even try to justify himself. The harm was done. Bellatrix may have not hurt the young woman physically but she had managed to harm them both with her words.

Lorena had come to Malfoy Manor to get answers. She had gotten more than she had bargained for.

* * *

Lorena had not fallen asleep quickly. She had waited for Severus to fall asleep, listening to his breathing, while Bellatrix' words still ran in her mind. She had compelled him to have sex with her while he was in love with another woman obviously, which may explain his abusive behavior. Yet, this was not an excuse for abusing other women. Besides, aware of how violent he could be, Lorena was prone to believe the older witch – after all, he had already raped her. Lorena was afraid and she managed to fall asleep once she was sure he was asleep too. She had also shed some silent tears. How she could still love such a man ? _What kind of man are you, Severus ?_

When she woke up in the morning, she could hear the sound of a shower in the bathroom. Severus was no longer in the bedroom. Lorena had to admit that nothing had happened between them. Maybe Bellatrix Lestrange had told a tale about the man. Lorena would be on her guard though. He was powerful, violent, dangerous, a Dark wizard, a Death-Eater. He was supposed to protect her from the outside – but who would protect her from _him_ ?

She rose from bed and began to put her things into her trunk. She prepared her garments for the day and waited for him to go out of the bathroom. After a few minutes, she heard him step out of the bathroom. She listened to him carefully, trying to get to know where he stood, what he was doing. He was putting things in his own trunk apparently. Without a word, Lorena went to the bathroom, with her garments in one hand and her wand in the other. She was not in a mood to talk to him. Neither was he, which seemed to suit them both fine.

The clock in the bedroom chimed half past eleven when she stepped out of the bathroom, fully clad and almost ready to go. She put her nightgown and dressing gown into her trunk, as well as her hygiene stuff.

"Miss Nottingham," he called her eventually.

Lorena froze in her tracks. What would be his next move ?

"Have you cast the Notice-Me-Not charm on your garments ?"

Lorena gasped. "No, I haven't yet, Professor. Thanks for reminding me," she said with a little voice that betrayed her anxiety. He must have watched her then, to notice that and remind her.

He grabbed his arm, gently. "Miss Nottingham…" She tensed when she felt his body in so close a distance to hers. "Lorena, I won't harm you… despite what Bellatrix said yesterday."

"You already had," she replied coldly. "Let go of me, please, Professor." She was alluding to his raping her.

"Would you have preferred to follow her yesterday ?" As she remained silent, he went on. "Let me tell you what would have happened to you then. She would have used you, if possible in the most degrading fashion, before turning you over to her husband. Rodolphus Lestrange is a pervert too. They both would have taken turns on you for several hours. You wouldn't have time to renew the concealment charm on your belly. I let you imagine the consequences for you." _And for me._

Lorena said nothing. She seemed to think. "Was that, that had happened to you, long ago, when she got you ? I mean, the abuse ?"

He was taken off guard by her question.

"I can't reply to you now. It's a long story I can't tell here. I can do so once we're out of here. Please." He released her. "Get ready. Once you are, we'll go out of here."

She nodded in understanding. Too dangerous to speak about the past here. She had come to get answers about her family – not about his past activities. "No problem. I understand, Professor," she said softly.

They finished packing their belongings. Lorena made sure that her violin was still in her trunk where she had put it the night before. After a last check if they had left something behind, they cast a reducing spell on the trunks. Severus took both reduced trunks into his frock coat pockets. He made sure he had his wand in his sleeve while Lorena did the same with hers. They put on their traveling cloaks and got out of the bedroom.

They met Draco in the lobby. The young man hugged Lorena quickly. He wished them a Happy New Year and bid them goodbye before fetching his parents. Narcissa and Lucius came to them and they wished well to each others.

"See you at the beginning of term, Lorena," Draco said.

"Yes, tomorrow night, Draco. Take care in the meantime."

"I will." He leaned to her. "I believe we have a detention to serve with…" He tilted his head towards their Head of House before realizing she could not see his gesture. Lorena nodded – she had not seen him do so but she had perceived his thought anyway through their contact.

Severus led Lorena outside Malfoy Manor, to Apparate beyond the gates. Once there, after checking that nobody was around, Severus took the young woman between his arms, wrapping his large cloak around her. He thought about their next destination and Apparated straight away.

* * *

_**Bellatrix is a real poison, instilling doubts and suspicions in other people's minds, besides being a sex addict and a psychopathic pervert.**__** But we love her like that, don't we ?**_

_**Apparently, Bellatrix knew about the Dark Lord's plans for the girl. Yet, she did not know that the Dark Lord had had sex with Lorena. The man still has secrets, even for his most devoted servants.**_

_**True that Severus' worst enemy is himself first – even before some of his Death-Eater fellows.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	90. Truth, trust and lust

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**9****0 – Truth, trust and lust**

Lorena was sure they would be back to Hogwarts. She was all the more surprised when she perceived they were not in Hogwarts, nor even Hogsmeade. "Are we… in Spinner's End ?" she asked anxiously.

"Yes, we are. That's the best place to give you the answers you wanted before, that I could not give you at Malfoy Manor. Remember ?"

A bit of snow began to fall. "Let's go, Lorena. It's snowing." He took her elbow under her cloak and led her to his house. Once in front of it, Severus quickly removed the wards he had placed there and ushered her inside.

The house was warm. Lorena removed her cloak. Severus did the same for himself and hanged both garments on the clothes tree in the lobby. Then he led her to the sitting-room. The young witch sat on the sofa, where she used to sit last Summer.

"I can ask Ziggy to prepare us something warm. What about some soup, Lorena ?" Severus asked gently. "I'd fancy something light after the banquet last night."

"Yes, me too, good idea."

He called his house elf which appeared with a loud 'pop' in the kitchen. He instructed him to bring them some soup for them both and not come back for the rest of the day, as they would take care of the washing up themselves. Lorena heard the 'pop' sound again, informing her that the elf had gone.

Lorena remained silent. She was attentive to all the sounds going on in the house. She could hear that Severus was at his desk, most likely going through his mail and other stuff stored there, as she could hear paper being unfolded, torn, rolled, crumpled or thrown away. A few minutes later, Ziggy came back into the kitchen. He went to the sitting-room to tell his master that everything was ready. Severus thanked him. The elf turned to Lorena and bowed deeply in front of her.

"Mistress Lorena, powerful witch ! Very powerful witch !"

Lorena smiled at him. "Hello Ziggy."

"Mistress Lorena still carrying Master Severus' child. Oh good ! Very powerful wizard she carries, very powerful." With a loud 'pop' sound, he disappeared before Lorena or Severus could say anything.

The young woman blushed. Severus went to her and took her hand in hers to lead her to the kitchen. "Come, Lorena."

"I'm always amazed how perceiving elves are," she said softly.

"So am I," he replied. He helped her sit and they began to eat. The soup was tasty and light, which suited their present needs perfectly. They ate in silence. They finished the meal with several oranges which left a delicious smell in the kitchen.

After they were done, Severus put the used crockery into the sink. He Scourgified it and with magic, he put it back in the various cupboards and drawers. Once done, he took Lorena's hand again in his and led her to the sofa where they both sat. He was aware that what he was about to say was not easy at all for a man like him. Yet, this was probably the only way for him to repair the damage done by Bellatrix on the night before. He bet on truth to gain Lorena's trust back.

"Lorena, now I can reply to the questions you had asked me earlier this morning at Malfoy Manor. Due to their very nature and to the issues they involve, you'll understand I could not give you answers there. Now you may ask them."

"Will you be honest ?"

"I'll do my best. You may enter into physical contact with me and check if I lie." Saying so, he took her hand in his. She was still staring in the void in front of her, a serious look on her features.

"Alright. First, did she tell the truth about you and her together ? Did she… abuse you ?"

"Yes, I guess we may say so. Save that she was alone – there was no other partner involved, contrary to what she had wished to do with you last night." He paused. "I was your age then… barely 18… I've just taken the Mark. The Dark Lord had discovered that I was still… a virgin. He ordered Bellatrix to… to make a man of me. He had said that he didn't want to have children in his ranks. He only wanted men, not kids. He wanted men that knew what sexual pleasure was, in order to be able to use that on them later, as leverage."

"So, she said the truth then ?"

"Yes, she did."

"What about…" She turned away her face. The word was difficult to utter for her.

"About the rapes ?"

She nodded.

Severus sighed. That would be the worst part. "Lorena… I… I won't lie to you. I tortured. I killed. And yes, I raped too. That was long ago, before I…" He stopped and swallowed hard. "Before I turned to Dumbledore… to the Light Side."

"And after ? Did you do it again ? Do you still do it when you're summoned by the Dark Lord ?"

"No." His voice was but a whisper. "That was long ago, when I was a young Death-Eater, eager to gain power, driven by my ambition to please the Dark Lord. As I went up in the hierarchy, I was no longer required to do this. Or rather, I could refuse safely. I let others do it, weaseling my way out of this by using potions that could make me impotent temporarily. I was left alone eventually. Yet, it was required of me that I should torture or kill every now and then. As for sex… If I wanted some, I used the prostitutes operating in Knockturn Alley or other such places of disrepute. And even that… was long ago before I met you, Lorena. It had become too risky for me to even go there at night to use prostitutes. You know everything."

He could see she closed her eyes, a sign she was thinking hard. She removed her hand from his. The gesture hurt him. "Do I disgust you ?" His tone confirmed what she had perceived : he was terribly insecure on these issues. Yet, she felt that there was something that ran deeper than his past as a Death-Eater or his miserable sex life.

That was a difficult question. Lorena still loved him unconditionally. Yet she could not help thinking she loved a dangerous man, a criminal. "You hold your conscience on a very short leash," she just replied. "That's why you could rape me without any... scruples."

"The intention was different," he said softly. "In my early days as a Death-Eater, I had to do it because I was a servant of the Dark Lord."

"You still are," she quipped.

"Yes, I am. But when I was younger I was eager to prove myself not only to him, but also to the others."

"Because you were abused yourself by Bellatrix ? You abused others in some sort of revenge ? I see no difference in the intention between what you did back then... and what you did to me." Her tone was cold.

Severus took her hand in his forcefully. "No, Lorena, there is indeed a difference ! I took you because I wanted you. I needed you ! I didn't lust after these women I had…" He stopped over the infamous word. "I had raped them because it was either my life or theirs. I would have been punished for not obeying my Master's orders. I took no pleasure in doing this. While with you…" A silence. "There was no order involved. Just… my lust for you."

There was a moment of silence, heavy and uncomfortable. Severus knew he had to open up to Lorena. Truth against trust.

"Yet again, you take pleasure in doing _that_ to _me_," Lorena said coldly.

He stiffened. "There's something else you should know, Lorena. It doesn't exonerate me but it may explain things." He swallowed hard. "I'm… I may be… the product of rape myself," he said in a whisper.

That was something she did not expect to hear. "You mean your mother…"

"… was raped by my father. He was abusive with us, physically and verbally. But he was worst with her. He…" She felt him cringe. "I was too young to understand then… I could hear them… I can still hear them sometimes in my memory… now I know what all this meant. My mother never told me so but she had never taken real care of me when I was a child either. I added two and two together, from what I witnessed as a child and what I had to do as an adult. Throw in maturity and experience and here was the picture I got." He sighed with sadness. "I think I know why she neglected me so much. She did her best though it was not enough for a child. She could not love me if I've been the outcome of…"

His voice trailed off in the silence around them. This was a wound that would never close. A scar opened forever in his soul.

"All this did not prevent you from raping me." Lorena removed her hand from his again and stood up.

"You're the first and only person that I've told all this," he said softly. "Do I disgust you ?"

_I still love you, Severus. Unconditionally._

"I need to go to the bathroom upstairs. As for your question, I can't reply to it."

He nodded silently._ Understandable, her disgust for me must equal her love for me now._ The question was : which one of the two would win ? "Let me guide you there."

Lorena felt he would not take 'no' for an answer. _Better accept his help_. She had also perceived he wanted, he needed to be in physical contact with her. She let him take her hand in his.

They went upstairs where he led her to the bathroom. Lorena had heard enough. She wanted to be alone a few minutes. She closed the door behind herself. She wanted to cry. After what he had just confessed to her, after everything he had already done to her, how could she still love him ? Because she still loved him. She felt compassion for him. He had not been loved as a child – his parents had been missing. He had been sexually abused as a young adult – by Bellatrix.

Life had not been kind for him then. This life as a spy was even harsher on him – she had seen that first hand. Hence the reason why he was abusive against his students – and herself. She believed him when he told her he had never spoken to anybody about this – not even to Lucius, from what she had overheard the night before.

She felt tears running down her cheeks and went to the jug to splash water on her face. Tears of compassion – for him. She noticed that the mirror had not spoken to her – Severus must have cast a spell onto it to keep it silent. Good, the last thing she needed was an enchanted mirror trying to soothe her.

"Lorena ! Are you okay ?" she heard on the door. She realized that she must have had spent way too much time in the bathroom.

She did not reply. She just opened the door and went out, hoping there was no longer any traces on her face of the violent emotions that had shaken her a few minutes earlier. Then she felt Severus' arms around her body. "Lorena… I was worried that something had happened to you in there…"

She perceived through her contact telepathy that he was in need of physical contact. In need of her. A few seconds later, she felt his mouth on her neck, peppering her skin with desperate kisses. She tried to push him away but he was stronger than her. His arms around her were like a vise gripping her.

"Let me go, Severus, please."

He did. At this moment, Lorena felt a sharp movement in her womb. She flinched. Severus grabbed her to steady her. "I think you're in need of a nap, Lorena."

She nodded. He was right. They walked away towards the stairs but before they left the landing, he whispered into her ear that she could have a nap in the bedroom here instead of going downstairs. Lorena agreed. He opened a door and led her inside.

The young witch did not realize at once that the bedroom that she had entered was _his_. He helped her to sit on the bed. Lorena laid herself, her hands on her belly. Severus sat on the bed, nearby her. He put his hands on her belly. "Let me massage you, so that this young boy inside may leave you in peace."

She let him do. His hands had the power to calm down her child, as if little Alan recognized his father's hands. Unless it was their magical connection. After a few minutes, her eyes closed and she fell asleep. Severus watched her for long minutes, a hungry look on his face, the white flicker of lust dancing in his charcoal eyes.

He decided he could use a nap too. He removed her shoes, then his own, his frock coat too and laid himself on the bed, close to her, one of his hands on Lorena's belly. He did not fall asleep at once, he enjoyed the quiet moment with the woman he wanted so much in his arms, by his side, his face almost buried in her hair, the smell of her skin filling his nose. She smelled of orange – the oranges she had eaten at lunch, less than one hour ago.

One hour or so later, Lorena woke up. She felt a warm body beside her. Still half asleep, she coiled herself against that body, feeling so good there. So protected. She felt an arm across her chest that dragged her closer to that warm body. She realized then it was Severus that held her like that. It was both enjoyable and disquieting.

He had held her like that when he had… _When he had raped me_, she remembered sadly.

"How do you feel, Lorena ?" she heard a rich, silky voice whispering into her ear.

"Better, thank you."

Severus tightened his embrace around her. A few seconds later, Lorena could feel his mouth on her neck, her temple, her cheekbone. She tried to push him away but the sensation his kisses brought to her left her unable to move any further.

"Let me go, please…" she pleaded faintly.

Severus did not reply, keeping on kissing her neck, her temple, her forehead, her cheek, her lips eventually. His kisses were sweet and tender though. He tried to access her mouth with his tongue but she refused by turning her head away.

"Let me go !"

She felt one of his legs nudging open her thighs, her wrists tightly imprisoned in his nervous hands. She panicked, the horrible scene when he had taken her without her consent at the start of the year playing again in her mind. Yet, his kiss took control of her. She surrendered to it. He must have felt it as the pressure on her wrists decreased. His hands even left her fists to clutch her arms, then her shoulders, to end up one under her neck, the other on her face.

"I want you, Lorena," he said softly before kissing her mouth deeply again. Their tongues played together in a sensual, torrid game. Lorena moaned in the kiss, which prompted Severus to move on top of her, though carefully so as not to hurt their child.

His hand left her face to go down. He began to caress her breasts. She had lovely breasts now, plumper thanks to her pregnancy. His hand was full and even more than that. He wanted to kiss her there and do to her a thousand things that would make her scream for more.

Wandlessly, silently, Severus cast a _Disvesto_ spell. Lorena screamed when she felt naked. "No, Severus, please… don't do that… please…"

"Don't do what ?" he whispered lustfully.

Lorena swallowed hard. "Don't… rape… me…" She was on the verge of crying.

"I only want to give you pleasure, Lorena. This is the last opportunity we may have before school resumes. Let me give you pleasure."

She could not reply. Her tears did so instead. Severus could see it but he wanted her too much to stop. He went on plundering her mouth with deep kisses. Lorena clung to him, though unable to repel him. His hand left her breast to go further down, between her thighs. She moaned in the kiss when she felt his agile fingers on her womanhood, lost between her folds, then inserting themselves gently inside her, while his thumb was caressing her clit expertly.

"No… please… don't…" she protested while he stroked her even more. Severus went on kissing her, the movement of his tongue inside her mouth matching the movement of his fingers inside her vagina. He could feel he was bringing her to pleasure. She was wetter and wetter.

"No, I don't want !" she managed to utter after breaking the kiss.

Severus peered at her with his charcoal gaze. "You say 'no' but your body says 'yes', Lorena," he purred. He went on to bring her to orgasm. His gaze was intense on her face. She could not see him but she could feel his breath on her face, soft like a sweet Summer breeze. He smelled of oranges too.

"Severus…"

"Come for me, Lorena !" He stroked her harder. He kissed her hard again. That alone was enough to send her off the edge. She moaned loudly in their kiss, which he broke while she shrieked out of pleasure. "You're so beautiful when you come, Lorena !" he drawled sensually.

"Sev…"

He did not let her time to say more. He kissed her deeply, drowning his given name in their kiss. They ended the kiss very tenderly. Lorena had the feeling that the Severus Snape that had deflowered her and that she had loved in the cave, had come back. For her greatest pleasure.

"Did you like it ?" he asked with his silky voice, rendered even deeper with arousal.

Lorena's mouth opened but nothing came out. She was raptured.

"Did you like it ?" he asked again.

It took her long seconds before she could utter a reply. No, she could not have liked it. Yet, the evidence was there. Her body had betrayed her shamelessly. She closed her eyes.

"I'll take that as a 'yes' then," he whispered with his purring voice.

He cast a _Disvesto_ spell on himself. Now they were both naked in his bed. Lorena tried to get rid of his body on hers when she felt the direct contact. "Please… Professor… don't…"

"I prefer when you call me by my given name, Lorena," he said softly.

"Please, Severus… let me go…" She writhed under him even more.

It had the exact opposite effect on him. Her resistance aroused him even more. "No, I'm not through with you yet. I want to give you more than that."

She wanted to tell him that she did not wish to be given more than that. He moved on top of her, careful with her belly. "Let me give you more pleasure, Lorena. You like it. I'll give you plenty."

She tried to push him away but it was too late… With one quick thrust, Severus sheathed himself in her tight, warm wetness. She was ready for sex. Ready for him. She screamed more out of surprise and delight than fear or pain. He made her quiet with a kiss on her mouth. He waited for her to be used to his presence inside her before resuming his thrusts.

"Severus… No… I don't want… let me go…"

"Too late, Lorena, I'm in you… I really need you, I want you… And you want this too. I can feel it you want this as much as I do." His hand took hers to put them on his shoulders in a gentle gesture. His lips took hers for a sensual kiss, his tongue plundering her mouth with greed. Lorena could but not give in to him.

"Let me go…" she said while her legs rounded his hips, her hands gripping his shoulders with fever. Her body was still betraying her. Her body needed him. The more she wanted him to stop, the more her body wanted him to continue his sensual possession of hers.

Severus did not listen to her, he just went on thrusting in her deep yet carefully. "I love sex with you, Lorena… it's so good with you… my witch… my one and only witch… you're mine… only mine… you belong to me only…" Now he was thrusting faster and faster. "I want to hear you scream you like it, what I'm doing to you… tell me you like it ! Tell me !"

His hand took her face to compel her to reply. Lorena swallowed hard. "Yes…" she whispered. "Don't hurt me…" She knew he was not hurting her – he would not hurt her. She was so wet, so ready for him, so welcoming of his desire. Because she desired him. Like mad.

"How do you like it ? Tell me… tell me dirty things… you little witch of mine…" He went on, possessing her thoroughly. His moans echoed hers, his mouth plundered hers in deep, passionate kisses. She felt lost and it lost her. He broke the kiss to tell her obscenities that turned around her being his possession, his property, his witch. _His_, she was _his_ only. Nobody else but him could have her.

She closed her eyes, lost in the intense waves of pleasure coming from him. She sent him powerful love waves. She felt the tickling on her ring finger, from her Love-Snakes. His own ring was dangling on the chain around his neck, swinging in rhythm with his thrusts in her. As he pushed harder in her, the ring came into contact with her neck, her cheek. She could feel the tickling of his ring too. His Love-Snakes interacted with her, thanks to the love waves she was sending then. As if all the love she gave, was given back to her tenfold. The discovery startled her. It meant that he was feeling something really strong for her now. More than mere sexual pleasure. More than greed or lust for her.

"You want this, Lorena… as much as I do… You love what I'm doing to you now…" Severus said before taking her lips with his for a deep kiss. He nibbled her lips before his tongue found hers for a sensual play, possessing her as much in the kiss than with his cock in her body.

She moaned and he groaned in reply. Now, he was thrusting hard in her, feeling she was on her way to ecstasy. He wanted her to come. He broke the kiss. "Now, come for me, witch ! Scream you like it !" He groaned his pleasure, pushing in her even deeper. She was still writhing under him, her arms trying to repel him while her legs were wide open to welcome him inside of her.

"Tell me you like it !"

"No… please… don't…" she uttered. He thought she did not know what she was saying. He could see she was utterly raptured. "Please… don't… _stop_…"

That was what he thought she might have said. He sped up the rhythm, feeling she was about to come. "Scream it, Lorena ! I want to hear you scream you love it !"

The tip of his tongue caressed her lower lip in a daring, torrid caress. That was enough to send her skyrocketing to heavenly sexual bliss. She screamed his name which lost itself in the depths of her throat, in a groaning, feral sound that lasted for long, long seconds. Severus followed suit in a deep, loud, animal grunt, releasing his seed in her in hot spurts, before sagging eventually on her.

They remained as such for long minutes, in each other's arms, panting heavily after the pleasure they had given and received. Severus was the first to get a grip back on his senses. He took Lorena's mouth with his very tenderly, inserting his tongue in her mouth gently yet sensually. They kissed each other for long minutes, their kisses interrupted by his muttering sweet obscenities tenderly dripping with his fierce possessiveness.

Severus felt comfortable on Lorena. She was comfortable, even with her pregnancy. Thinking of it, he removed himself from her, anxious he may have hurt her and their child. "I'm sorry, Lorena, I hope I didn't hurt the baby."

She had felt so good between his arms that she had forgotten she was pregnant ! "No, Severus, no, it's fine. I'm fine, I mean, we're fine, me and Alan." She bit her lip. It would be hard to leave him. That thought brought her back to reality. "I think I'd better get a shower."

"We're not in a hurry."

"What do you mean ?"

"We may leave only tomorrow morning. We could spend the whole night here…" His voice was lustful. Tender. Desperate.

"I don't think it's a good idea, Severus. You told Lucius Malfoy that you had to go back to Hogwarts. If he tries to find you there and discovers you're not, he may have suspicions."

She had a point. Yet, something told Severus that this was not her only motive for leaving his home place. She looked nervous. She went out of the bedroom to the bathroom to shower.

"Wait, Lorena !" Severus called her.

She froze in her tracks. "Put this on, I don't want you to catch a cold," he said while putting his dressing gown on her shoulders in a caring gesture.

Lorena just muttered a 'thank you'. He took her chin between his fingers and put a delicate kiss on her lips. "What about me joining you in the shower ?" he asked with a sensual, lustful purr in his voice.

"No, Severus, I want to go back to Hogwarts," she said eventually. "I need to be there." She knew what would happen if he joined her in the shower. They would spend the rest of the day and even the night making love here.

No, if she stayed here with him, she knew her resolve to leave him would melt away, like snow under the blazing sun of their respective desire.

"What for ?"

"I want…" The words were difficult to utter. She could not tell him that she wanted some time to write him a farewell letter. A whole day would not be too much, considering she would have to think about it, besides finding a way to forward it to him. She did not wish to send him the letter too early, lest he may make a scene to her in the loneliness of the Slytherin dungeons. No, she would forward him the letter when the other students had arrived. He would not be able to get to her as easily then. "I want to check my grandmother's files before term resumes. With everything I've just learned about her family… my family…" she uttered. "Besides, I think Professor Dumbledore would be glad to know the information I managed to get on that topic."

She felt his mind trying to enter hers. She Occluded it at once. He perceived it. "Are you sure you don't have anything else you'd like to tell me ?" _What are you trying to hide from me ?_

"No," she replied coldly. "Let me go, Severus."

He let her go. "I'll bring you your garments," he just said.

"Thank you."

Severus knew there was something wrong with her. He wondered what and why. What had he done wrong this time ? He had given her all the pleasure a woman was entitled to receive from a man – even a man like him. She had even screamed his name at the supreme moment. He had made sure that she had had plenty, even if she had not been willing at the beginning. He was sure she had loved it, what they had just done, the love they had just made. He shook his head in puzzlement. He was a bit hurt too. It had been so blissful, he had felt so complete with her – with him in her.

Severus brought her garments to the bathroom. She was still in the shower stall and he had to make himself violence not to join her there for another round. With a flick of his wand, he enabled the enchanted mirror so that she could have some help once out of the shower.

"Lorena, I've put your garments on the chair besides the towel. Oh, I've enchanted the mirror back."

"Thank you, Severus," she said. She was touched by his nice attentions.

He closed the door behind him, his heart heavy. He would have gladly made love to her again, in the shower stall. Anywhere in his house. He was not rock hard but he knew he would not need a lot of time to be so again. Just a look at her nudity, his hands on her body, and he would be ready for her, ready to give her pleasure again.

Lorena made sure he was gone before going out of the shower stall. The enchanted mirror greeted her. "You look like a witch that has just spent a very lovely time with a wonderful, loving wizard," he said without any preamble.

Lorena was surprised by its words. She just blushed. She had to admit she had had. She sighed. "Help me with my things," she said.

"Your garments are on the chair nearby the towel, like Professor Snape said," the mirror said dryly. "Actually, you were right. Being nice is not the same thing as being handsome."

Lorena had forgotten. "Pardon me ?"

"Last time you were here, you said that I should not confuse being handsome with being nice. You had said so about Professor Snape. He's still ugly as ever but I can see he can be nice."

"Severus is not ugly !" Lorena said curtly to the mirror. She realized she had taken his defense against the magical implement. She sighed. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"No harm done. You haven't thrown anything at me, unlike some others – and I'm not talking about Professor Snape here. My previous owner had quite a temper despite his good looks." A pause. "You love him, don't you ?"

"Love who ?" she asked absent-mindedly.

"Professor Snape, of course !"

Lorena did not wish to reply. She deemed a mirror, even enchanted, was not one to receive confidences. Besides, it would be hard to leave him. "Help me get decent, please," she said to change conversation.

"I'll take that as a 'yes' then. Of course, you do love him."

She managed to get dressed and the mirror helped her with her attire and hair. After a few minutes, she left the bathroom. She called Severus who was still in the bedroom, telling him the bathroom was available. He took his garments and went there while she was going downstairs carefully.

Severus joined her downstairs, fully clad. She was sitting on the sofa, a thoughtful look on her face. He could see that something was eating her. He thought that she was his now – he had proven her he could be a tender, caring lover, like he had been in the cave. Not the brutal man that had taken her against her will once or had humiliated her like he had done recently. Not the rapist that Bellatrix had described him to be. True she had seen him already do that but it had been long ago, like he had explained to Lorena.

He put a hand on her shoulder, to show he was there. "Do you really want to go back to Hogwarts now ? We may stay here for the evening, for the night, Lorena. We could read, discuss or make love here. Or just sleep together, in each other's arms."

She shook her head. She would have loved to do that with him. She felt he was craving for tenderness and presence, even if he was not one to admit it. Yet, she had taken a decision and she held to it. "Shall we leave now ?"

Severus realized she was really in a hurry to leave his home place. He wondered why. He sensed that this story of family files was not the real motive. Yet, he knew it would be hard to get the reason. She had Occluded her mind. She had become very proficient at Occlumency. _Thanks to me,_ he thought bitterly. It was easier when he could access her mind and memories.

He sighed inside of him. "Let's go then." He took her hand in his to lead her to the lobby. There, he put her cloak on her shoulders. She checked a last time she had her wand in her right sleeve while he did the same for the reduced trunks in his frock coat pockets. He put on his own large cloak and in minutes, they were outside. He cast again the complicated series of wards on his house.

They crossed the street to the dark dead-end alley he used to Apparate. Once there, he took her in his arms, wrapping her in his cloak. Yet, just before leaving, he took her mouth with his for a tender kiss, his tongue meeting hers in a gentle yet sensual contact. Something in him told him that this kiss would be the last – without him knowing why.

* * *

**_I hope I have kept Severus in character, by showing a sensual and tender side of him. Also, I think the explanation as to why he has behaved violently with Lorena and abusively with people in general, can still fit in with his personality._**

**_For all those out of there who are geniuses and wizards with drawing and photo-manip, please feel free to use my work to spur your imagination - just provide me with the link so that I can admire your work and leave a review for it._**

**_Please rate & review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	91. Slytherin bargaining

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**9****1 – Slytherin bargaining**

They Apparated in his quarters. Severus wanted to kiss her again but she fled him. The void she left between his arms hurt him deep down his soul. He felt as if the brief moment of happiness he had had with her at Spinner's End, moments earlier, in his bed, had just gone. Forever.

He managed to catch her back though. "Where are you going ?"

"Back to my dorm, Professor."

She had reverted to a formal way of addressing him. He felt like a stab in his heart. "Lorena… You may call me by my given name here, we're alone."

It did not occur to him that she did not wish to call him that way. Why would he ? She had loved the way he had possessed her in his bedroom at Spinner's End. Severus knew she had enjoyed it. He knew she was not the kind of woman to fake an orgasm. He would have sensed it.

She lowered her gaze. "Besides, I have your trunk in my pocket."

"Give it back to me, I can managed from then on."

"Let me accompany you to your dorm. Please."

Lorena felt she could not refuse. "Alright."

Severus led her to the Slytherin common room, then to her dorm. He took the opportunity to check that every thing was in good order in the common room. Once in her dorm, he cancelled the reducing spell on the trunk so that Lorena may put her things back into her dresser. Severus also lit a fire in the dorm hearth, in order to keep it warm for the night.

The night. He would have loved to spend the night with her. He came to her and took her arm to press her against him. She was surprised but said nothing. He did not leave her time to do so. He kissed her passionately. She followed him in his kiss.

"Lorena, I… Would you spend the night… with me ?" he asked softly.

Lorena had to steel herself to refuse him. "No, Professor. I don't want. I have things to do to be ready for tomorrow. Besides, do I need to remind you that we have to see the Headmaster ?"

She was still using his title despite his invitation to use his first name. "The Headmaster can wait for tomorrow. He didn't summon us."

She sighed. "No, please." Lorena felt he was not happy. She wondered for a second or two how far he would go to get her. Would he compel her to do what he wanted ? Would he take her without her consent ?

"Lorena… what I gave you this afternoon, in Spinner's End… I want to give it to you again… tonight."

She sighed. "I don't want, Professor. I'm tired and I'm not sure that my body may like it either. Ms Pomfrey had told me that I should avoid rough sex. She had told you the same, remember ?"

"I can make it less rough, you know." _I'll do anything for you ! Anything !_

She had a doubtful look on her face. "You, less rough ? You must be kidding, Professor. I don't think so. Sooner or later, you'll be brutal."

"You enjoyed it this afternoon, 'brutal' as it was."

"You took advantage of me."

Severus grabbed her closer to him. "No, I didn't. It wasn't rape. You enjoyed it thoroughly. You know it and I know it too." With that, he took her mouth for a deep kiss. Lorena tried to push him away but to no avail. He would not give in and she let him take possession of her mouth, their tongues playing with each other in a torrid caress. His kisses were like alcohol – they made her lose all her senses. His arms wrapped her in a possessive embrace.

They broke the kiss eventually with a mutual sigh of satisfaction.

"You know how much I love kissing you, Lorena," Severus said.

She said nothing. She loved kissing him too. It would be hard for her to leave him. Inside, her heart was aching.

He hugged her more, burying his face in her thick raven locks. She felt how vulnerable he could be at this moment. It meant he opened up, just a little, yet enough, to her, for her to get to him. As if opening up to her was a way to keep her by showing her how much he trusted her to let her see his own weaknesses. She felt moved. Severus Snape, the dreaded Potions Master at Hogwarts, the much-feared Death-Eater, letting his guard down, surrendering his frailty to her ?

No, it could not be possible. This was a ploy to get her in his bed, once again. This was a trap she would not fall in.

"Professor, let me go. I want to finish this and after that, we have to go and see the Headmaster. Please."

Severus saw that nothing could be done. This woman must have inherited her stubbornness from her Gaunt relatives – according to what Lavinia Malfoy had said. Without a word, he released her. "I'll wait for you here."

She nodded in agreement. He could be stubborn too.

* * *

They went to see the Headmaster to his office. Dumbledore was there, as if waiting for them. Minerva McGonagall was there, having a cup of tea with the Headmaster. They greeted and wished each others a Happy New Year.

He noticed that something had changed in the two people now standing in front of him. Lorena was cold and distant while Severus seemed smitten. He sighed in himself. _Has he admitted his feelings for her ? What had happened to her ?_ The younger wizard would be hurt, loving a young woman that did not love him. _History repeats itself_, the old man thought. _No, it could not be possible that Lorena did not love him anymore._ He wondered what must have happened between them then. _Has he behaved awfully with her again ?_

Albus put his questions aside in a remote corner of his mind and invited the pair to sit down. "I guess you have some news for me, Lorena."

"Yes, I do." Suddenly she did not know how to address the issue. "I've read the family records. You must have noticed something interesting."

"Your great-grandmother was a Malfoy," Albus said softly.

"Yes. Yet, I've learned interesting things at Malfoy Manor," Lorena added.

Dumbledore left his desk to stand in front of the young witch. "So that's why you went there. To get more information about that connection."

"Nothing goes by you, Professor," Lorena said with a smile. "Yes, I can tell you now. Besides enjoying playing for them, I managed to know the real nature of that family connection."

"You took stupid risks doing so, Miss Nottingham," Severus quipped.

"What I learned was worth the risk, Professor," Lorena replied coldly.

"What did you learn and from whom ?" Dumbledore asked.

"We were fortunate enough to sit at the same table as a Mrs Lavinia Malfoy. She's Lucius Malfoy's aunt."

"She's the sister to the late Abraxas Malfoy, Lucius' father," Severus added. "She's very talkative. Miss Nottingham did not have any problem in making her talk. The old witch is a real chatterbox," he ended sarcastically.

"That had been a useful trait of hers," Lorena said. "Now for the connection. Calpurnia Malfoy, my great-grandmother, was her aunt. Her father Brutus' sister. She married Thaddeus Gaunt – that was indeed confirmed by Lavinia Malfoy."

"Wonderful !" Albus exclaimed. "I can see that you put all that Slytherin cunning to good use, Lorena," the old wizard added. _The girl would make a good spy. Or at least, she knows how to collect information._

"Of course, I played it the innocent and fascinated Muggle-born, eager to know more about all these pure-blood family stories," Lorena went on. "The rest was easy."

"Looks like you knew how to lead the conversation where you wanted," Minerva asked. "Have you drunk of _Felix Felicis_ before going there, Miss Nottingham ?"

Lorena grinned in her direction. "No, I promise you that, I didn't. It was all pure Slytherin cunning, like the Headmaster said."

"I guess we have all the information needed then. Thank you, Lorena," Albus said.

"That's not the only thing I've learned, Headmaster," Lorena said, her tone suddenly colder.

"What do you mean ?"

"I mean… Why did you hide me the fact that the Gaunts… were the descendants of Salazar Slytherin, Headmaster ?" Her tone was icy now. "Because you were aware of that fact, weren't you ? Sir ?"

The old wizard exchanged a glance with Minerva and Severus. He sighed deeply. "Indeed. I wanted to tell you later, Lorena. Do you remember when you wanted to know about the Heir of Slytherin ?"

"Oh, yes. I already know who that Heir is – from the moment I visited Morfin Gaunt's memory in your Pensieve. The problem is… his nephew is no longer the _only_ Heir of Slytherin, as he had described himself in that memory. We are two others, and soon, three." She put a hand on her belly. "My father, me, and my child to come. Besides the son of Merope Gaunt. Also known as… the Dark Lord."

Minerva gasped though she knew about Voldemort's ancestry. Severus had an angry look on his face. Albus was focused on Lorena. Only the young woman seemed serene in front of the revelation.

"Which makes me a distant relative of the Dark Lord and Lucius Malfoy," she went on. "I think I began to understand why the Dark Lord is after me. Like he had been after my father's siblings, then my grandma later. Now he's after me. He considers my father probably as a Squib, which would explain he left him alone." A pause. "Now, you can't hide me anything, Headmaster. I will get the truth one day or so. You have to count me in."

At these words, Severus cringed. He did not wish her to be thrown in harm's way. Well, she had been already – and he had helped for that, when he had brought her to the Dark Lord. He would blame himself for the rest of his miserable life for that only.

"Yet, I don't think he will be after you for that reason only," Dumbledore said quietly. "He's also after your powers, don't forget it."

"True, though I have no illusion as to what he will do to me once he has them powers," Lorena said. "He told me when we met on Halloween, that he will have my powers and I shall be dead." She did not seem afraid by the prospect. Severus thought that she considered that future either as improbable or very theoretical. "Since how long did you know for my ancestry and connection with Salazar Slytherin ?"

Dumbledore took a deep breath. "Since the moment I became aware you were a Parselmouth. The Slytherin trait." A pause. "Actually, I had doubts about your ancestry from that moment on. I knew there must have been a connection between you and Slytherin the Founder. I just could not connect the dots in between. Salazar Slytherin lived about one thousand years ago. Quite a gap to fill in between. There was that story of the witch that had been the mother of the Sheriff of Nottingham but I felt it was a dead-end. That's why I wanted to know your grandmother's maiden name. My insight was confirmed when I learned she was called 'Gaunt'."

Lorena lowered her eyes. The whole truth, at last. "What should we do now ?" she asked with a faint voice.

Severus interfered. "She has to pretend she's still a Muggle-born. We cannot reveal her true lineage now."

"Tom will have doubts and he still believes you are so well informed, Severus. We cannot afford to blow your cover," Dumbledore said firmly.

"Maybe Severus could tell Voldemort, Albus," Minerva said. "While we can keep this information secret for the rest of the student body and faculty. The less people informed, the safer."

Severus nodded. "Lucius may have had a conversation with his aunt, who had supplied us with all the information we just gave you. Or not. While I am supposed to know as I was with Miss Nottingham when she collected this information from the old Malfoy lady. Personally, I don't think he will kill Miss Nottingham because she's the other Heir of Slytherin. He wants her powers too much to kill her now."

Albus Dumbledore seemed to think. "Miss Nottingham, do you realize that once Voldemort knows about your lineage, anything may happen to you ?"

"I do, Professor."

"You won't be alone. Severus will protect you even more closely than before. It may mean you may not be allowed out of this castle till you give birth and even after."

"I'm ready, Professor," she said calmly.

"That means you'll have to do _anything_ me or Severus may ask of you. Nothing more to discuss. I must have your word on this."

The words reminded Severus of a Vow he had had to take a long time ago. He hoped that the Headmaster would not ask the same from her.

"You will have my word on that, in front of witnesses. I can even take a Wizard's Oath if you wish. Yet, there's one condition."

Albus looked at her, puzzled. "Your word will be enough for me. But what is that condition ?"

"I want my father to be protected too."

Severus wanted to smile wickedly. Bargaining her father's protection this way ! Clever, very clever. _As scheming as the old man._ He was proud of her – she was a real Slytherin.

Albus sighed. "That's a serious issue. From what you told us, either he remains in jail and the issue of his safety is sorted out. Either he's freed on parole and his safety is to be sorted out. We will not let him down. He will be protected."

"Do I have your word on that ? Professor ?" Lorena asked suddenly, acting on instinct alone.

"You have my word, Lorena," the old wizard said. "The Order of the Phoenix, our anti-Voldemort/Death-Eater organization, will see to it he's protected if need arises. However, I want you to know that this is a war and like in any war, there are casualties. We strive to have as less casualties on our side as possible but this is not guaranteed. You have to accept it."

"I do, Professor. I don't forget I may well end up as one of these casualties, along with my child," she said coolly. "At least, I know the truth. If I have to die, now I know the reason why."

Severus watched her carefully. She had not shed a single tear. She had behaved in a very analytical, cold-blooded fashion. He thought she had the kind of courage Slytherins displayed. He liked that.

Dumbledore nodded. "Indeed." A pause. "You're all dismissed. Oh, Lorena…" He smiled. "Thank you again for these valuable information. No later than yesterday I was still wondering how I could get them while you had already planned them all along."

"You're welcome, Professor," Lorena said while standing up. "I'll go back to my dorm." That was a way of telling Severus she would not spend the evening with him, despite the loving time they had spend together in Spinner's End.

Severus understood that. His heart felt heavy. He managed to show nothing of the like of course. He took her by the arm to lead her back to the Slytherin area.

Once there, he tried a last time, if she would agree to spend the night with him in his quarters, in his bed. He even invoked the closer protection she needed, which Lorena dismissed – she was safe in the whole castle. She entered the common room without another word for him, closing the door behind her. Somehow, it was as if she had closed the door of her heart on him.

* * *

_**Good ol' Slytherin bargaining, cunning and scheming from Lorena, in particular to have her father protected. **__**Go, girl, go !**_

_**Still playing with Severus' feelings and needs - again. I agree with JKR, when she says he's a gift of a character.**__** He's so patient with every thing I put him through. He should have hexed me already in the middle of next week. LOL **_

_**I know, I'm cruel – I'm not a gift of an author ! **__**LOL**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	92. The virtues of chocolate mousse

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**9****2 – The virtues of chocolate mousse**

Severus Snape was not a man to give up that easily. He was rather stubborn in his own right – especially about issues that mattered to him most.

That Lorena mattered to him _most_ was an understatement.

Of course, it had not been difficult for him to access her dorm. He had found her reading her family records, sitting on the sofa in front of the fire blazing in the hearth. She had heard him enter the dorm despite his usual habit of walking with a stealthy step.

"Professor Snape ?"

"Yes, that's me, Lorena. Has anybody told you before that you should not turn your back on a door ?"

"I knew it was you. I've recognized your steps."

_Of course you have._ She was the only person he had ever met that could detect and recognize his steps. Blame the acute hearing of a blind magical person for that. He came closer to her. "May I sit down with you ?"

"Sure."

"Still working on your family records ?"

"Yes. I've come up with this." She handed him over a piece of parchment. A family tree was drawn which linked the three families together – the Malfoys, the Gaunts, the Nottinghams. "I think that sums up the situation pretty well."

He skimmed over it. "Yes, it does. I can see that your analytical and well-organized mind is in full swing. Lorena, it's almost dinner time. I want you to have a proper meal. Care to join me ?"

Lorena wanted to tell him off, that she did not need a mother hen in the castle. Yet, she changed her mind. He had been civil, even… caring, if that could apply to a man such as Severus Snape. "Yes, but I feel so good here, I don't want to move."

"Not a problem, Lorena. I can ask a house elf to bring us something to eat here. It happens that I enjoy that fire too, it's warm here."

"Be my guest then, Professor," she said gently.

Severus asked her what she wanted to eat. Lorena was not difficult, except that she insisted for a particular dessert. "I want some chocolate mousse. The one prepared at Hogwarts is the best I have ever had. Even my grandma's wasn't as good. And I loved it when I was living with her, which says a lot."

Severus had a smirk on his lips. "A pregnant woman's craving, I suppose."

"We may say so."

Severus called a house elf and asked the little creature to be brought what was served for dinner tonight, for two people, plus the chocolate mousse. A few minutes later, the house elf came back with their meal. Severus conjured up a small table where the dinner was put.

They enjoyed their dinner together, mostly in silence, a silence that was sometimes interrupted by a question or a remark about the family records or the schooling to resume on the day after. It was a gentle moment. Severus – in his usual Slytherin fashion – had hoped to bring her back to better sentiments for him and maybe more – to his bed.

The house elf took the dishes away back to the kitchen after having brought the chocolate mousse. Lorena licked her lips in anticipation. That gesture alone made Severus wish for more from her. When she began to eat it, he wished she had not ordered it… he was not sure he would be able to control himself.

Unaware of the effect it had on the man sitting beside her, Lorena ate with gusto. The spoon coming in and out of her mouth with a sensual move, her lips tight on it as not to lose a single drop of chocolate. The sight made Severus feel hard in his man's flesh. Oh, how much he would have loved his maleness be sucked now like this by her mouth !

He could see the tip of her tongue on the spoon, licking the chocolate. He wanted to feel her tongue on his lips, on his own tongue, on his maleness, licking it in the same manner.

Her eyes closed, she moaned her delight for the dessert – a moan not so different from the ones she had uttered earlier this afternoon, during their lovemaking. Severus was devouring her with his smoldering gaze. Soon he was licking his own lips, as if he was savoring her in anticipation.

"I've never eaten something as good as this in my whole life," she whispered with a contented sigh.

"Really ?" he asked with a hint of sarcasm. Inside, he hoped she was just joking.

Lorena must have perceived his train of thoughts somehow. Slowly, she turned her head towards him. She pondered what she could tell him. "Oh, in terms of food, I mean." She had just realized how equivocal her sentence must have been. She had to be more careful. "What did you think about, Professor ?" she asked mockingly, perfectly aware of what he may have had in mind then. "I think I could live without a man, but not without chocolate," she said before coming back to her dessert – not without a naughty touch of provocation.

The comment hurt him somewhere. It meant she could live without him, despite everything she had said about her loving him unconditionally. Severus averted his gaze from her. _No wonder she rejects you, after all you have done to her !_ He had nobody else but himself to blame after all. _Yet, this afternoon, she loved what you did to her !_

Lorena had expected a scathing remark from the man next to her. It did not come. Through their bond, she perceived that he was sad, very sad. Vulnerable. Insecure. She had hurt him and that had not been the purpose of it. In fact, she had been surprised by his silence. She was accustomed to his sharp words. But his silence told more than words. It spoke volumes. Hurting him was the last thing she wanted yet she knew that what she had in stock for him, with the letter, would hurt him eventually. She felt guilty – in anticipation.

"Severus…" she called softly. "Do you want some with me ?" she said with all the sensuality she could muster into her voice.

"What makes you think I'd like some ?" he replied harshly to her.

Lorena smiled at him sweetly. "Because…" Her lower lip trembled a bit. Some chocolate tainted it in a darker shade. "Because I know you like… _this_…" Her voice lowered to a murmur, yet it still had its sensual, purring quality. '_This'_ could mean so much, contain so many things…

Severus' eyes went to her mouth. She had said '_this_', not '_it_'. That was an obvious opening he could not refuse, his senses could not refuse. He got closer to her. She could not see him yet she felt his strong presence.

He dipped his finger into the cup containing the chocolate mousse to pick some. He wanted to put chocolate on her mouth but her lips had felt his finger. Lorena began to suck his finger. He froze. Her eyes closed, her tongue rolled around his finger in a sensual movement.

"Oh, Lorena…" he said softly, his voice dripping with lust. He imagined her sucking the tip of his cock – no, his whole cock, on its whole length. A growling moan escaped his lips, as if she was really sucking his maleness. He felt hard now. "Oh, Lorena…"

Severus removed his finger. He plunged it again into the chocolate mousse, before he put some on her lips. She licked it. "No, don't do that, Lorena…" he said before putting some more on her lips again. This time, the young woman gathered what he wanted to do and did not move. He put some more there, till her lips were fully covered with chocolate.

Once he was done, Severus looked at her, his charcoal eyes burning with the white flicker of desire. "Yes… I like... _this_…" he whispered to her in that hoarse voice of his that betrayed his lust. Slowly, very slowly, he began to lick her lips with his own tongue, tasting the chocolate there with an obvious delight. Lorena did not move, thrilled by his daring, sensual caress. He sucked her lower lip, tasting the chocolate there. She moaned under the amorous kiss. "Yes, chocolate mousse tastes far better on your lips, Lorena," he said once he had cleaned her mouth with his tongue. "But I'm sure it tastes even better on your tongue. Give me your tongue."

Lorena obeyed – she seemed to have lost – no, surrendered – all willpower to him. Severus dipped his finger into the chocolate mousse again, before putting some on the tip of her tongue. "Don't swallow," he whispered. A few seconds later, he tasted the chocolate, his own tongue sucking it from hers, before slipping his tongue into her mouth for a more thorough kiss.

Lorena moaned in the kiss. It tasted chocolate and it was so good, so good. This man made her crazy. His kisses made her crazy. He knew how to make her crazy with his kisses. He could prove to be as much creative with kisses, than with spells or potions. "Severus…" she managed to whisper when they broke the kiss.

"Will you still say that you could live without a man, but not without chocolate, after this ?"

Lorena did not reply. She just dipped her finger into the chocolate mousse cup. She wanted to put some on his lips but missed her target somehow. His chin and lower cheek were smeared with chocolate, before she could put some on his lips. She began to lick his cheek, then his chin, to finish with his lips, tasting the chocolate on him.

Severus let her do. Her tongue on his skin was so sweet, so sensual. There was a magic in that moment he did not wish to stop or break, not even with a sarcastic remark. Actually, he had no sarcastic remark in his mind. He had nothing more than the taste of chocolate mousse in his mouth and the sensation of her lips and tongue on his skin.

Once she had cleaned him of the chocolate she had put on his cheek and chin, Lorena went on with sucking his lips, the tip of her tongue caressing delicately his mouth, tracing its outline with utter sensuality.

Lorena parted from him. Her empty pale gray gaze still trained on him, she dipped her finger into the chocolate mousse again. "Give me your tongue, Severus."

He obeyed. He was surprised how he could give in to her that easily. The dreaded Potions Master at Hogwarts, the feared Death-Eater, spy for the two most powerful wizards of the age, was surrendering to a pregnant, blind, 18-years-old girl, a student of his. Just like this, without a word, without a fuss. With complete pleasure.

She was careful this time to put some chocolate mousse on his tongue without smearing his lower face. "Don't move, please," she said softly. Once she was done, she just tasted the chocolate on his tongue with hers. They kissed like that for long minutes, their kiss deepening in an amorous embrace.

"You didn't reply to my earlier question," he said once they had broken the kiss. "Will you still say that you could live without a man, but not without chocolate, after this ?"

Lorena's lips parted a bit. She measured the implications of his question and of her answer. "I don't know, Severus. But…"

"But ?"

"Now chocolate mousse will never have the same taste. Ever again. I…" _I love you, Severus, but I can't handle you. I love you but I can't live with you._ _Though I can't live without your kisses. _"I really enjoyed my dessert, Severus." She turned her face away from his scrutinizing gaze. She did not want to show him her sadness though she suspected he had perceived it.

_I would love to be your dessert, my sweet Lorena…__ or you, be mine._

Severus sensed that she would not go any further with him. No, he would not behave like he had done before with her, taking from her what he deemed to be rightfully his. He reined in his instinct of possession. He would have to wait. After all, he had had plenty from her earlier this afternoon.

Severus took her spoon and the chocolate mousse cup from her hands. "I enjoyed that dessert with you too. Let's finish it together then." He put a spoonful into his mouth. "Open your mouth, Lorena."

She did, having gathered his purpose. He put a spoonful of chocolate in there, which she swallowed with delight. They finished the cup, sharing its content, taking turns at it in silence, except for the few moans of pleasure escaping Lorena's lips.

Severus wanted her like mad. He knew he was possessive with her, to an extent he had never felt before with a woman – not even with Lily. Now he had to admit that the possessive man he was, had become a man possessed by her. No, he would not let it go like this. He was ready to do anything for her. _Anything_. The word rang a bell in his memory. A bitter memory.

_I'd lie for you. I'd fight for you. I'd die for you.__ Anything I'd do, I'd do it for you._

* * *

_**OK, I used the erotic symbolism of chocolate, **__**already referred to one in the very first chapters of this story, when Severus had explained to her that chocolate was an ingredient used in lust potions – check Chapter 6, "Of love and lust" – because this is what it is all about. The loop is looped.**_

_**Also, in this chapter, they both share some kind of ritual on an equal footing. They do the same things to each other, as equal partners, while before, Severus always seemed to control and dominate their relationship. Okay, he is a Dominant male… all the same – here, he seems to relinquish some of that control of his to her. What a change ! Despite Lorena's decision, the scene shows how strong the bond is between them two.**_

_**Needless to say that I enjoyed writing that one. Chocolate is not only a good remedy after a nasty encounter with a Dementor, but it is also an excellent fuel for writing – powerful against writers' block. Back in my university days, I could not sit an exam without chocolate handy. The addiction has not stopped with time.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	93. Drafting the letter

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**9****3 – Drafting the letter**

Severus spent another hour with her in her dorm. He did not dare touch her anymore – otherwise he would just have dragged her to her bed and taken her there. With her consent or not. When he saw that she would not move in his direction, despite the sensual kisses they had exchanged over the chocolate mousse, he gave up – temporarily.

Once in his quarters, Severus had to reckon he had almost fled. He knew he would have been able to take her no matter what. He had already done so. If he had given in to his temptation, things would have been definitively broken between them two. Better wait for a more propitious occasion.

Lorena warded the dorm door once she was sure he was out. She collected some parchment and began to write the letter she would give him, along with the Snape medallion still hanging between her breasts. She turned the pendant between her fingers, feeling the words carved at the back of it. _Property of Prof. Severus Snape._ No, she was not his property. No way.

She dictated several drafts of the letter to her magical quill, after having cast a silencing spell around her. She did not wish her 'almost lover' to show up and hear her words. Her farewell words. She was not satisfied with the various versions and after other unsuccessful attempts, she gave up for the night. She took the parchments with her, tucked them into her trunk lid. After all, a good night's sleep may help her have clearer ideas. She still had the whole tomorrow to issue a decent letter.

Lorena went to bed. She did not fall asleep right away. She thought about how she would forward him the letter and the medallion. There was also the issue of the Love-Snakes. She decided she would keep them eventually. She felt responsible for them, for their survival, like a mother to them. She would explain all this in her letter.

She thought about how and when to forward him the letter. Not until the students were back. She did not wish him to make her a scene. The presence of the student body should prevent him from doing so. Well, she hoped so.

She would not send him the letter and the medallion back by owl. Neither would she use the help of another student. No, she was more courageous than that. She checked her timetable. On the day after the start of the term, the Slytherins would have Double Potions with the Gryffindors. At the end of the day. _Excellent_. Their first Potions class of the week. She also knew that they would have to give him back an essay.

It came to her as a sudden inspiration. She would roll her letter around the medallion and the whole thing into the essay. She would just have to hand it back to him while the other students would be still there. _Perfect_. He would not dare make a fuss in front of them.

She thought about the Unbreakable Vow. Suddenly she remembered to have read something about how it could be avoided. She resolved to spend the day after at the library. She had read a book there about the topic. Ms Pince would surely help her find the book. Basically, the book explained that Unbreakable Vows were only binding on the person agreeing to its conditions. In her case, Severus. Not herself. She knew she would have to explain this in her letter too to make him understand there was no way for him to get her back.

With all this in mind, her plan almost lain out, Lorena managed to fall asleep rather quickly.

* * *

Early on the day after, Lorena got up. She got ready and had her breakfast brought in her dorm by a house elf. Then she set off to the library, with her magical quill and some parchment, stuffed in her bag, along with the drafts she had already written the night before.

Ms Pince was in a good mood enough to indicate her where she could find the book about the various oaths and vows in usage in the wizarding world. Lorena was the only student in the library. She sat at a table in a remote corner of the library and began to read.

She found the chapter dealing with Unbreakable Vows quickly. She cast a silencing spell around her and began to read avidly, wand in hand, following each line with an intense concentration.

The author explained that Unbreakable Vows were indeed solely binding on the party to agree to the conditions set by the vow. _Severus._ Not the beneficiary. _Me._ The difference was explained by the fact that such a Vow was taken to ensure that the bound party carried out the said conditions. It was supposed that the bound party was not so willing to carry out the conditions, hence the Vow. While the beneficiary was not bound because it was considered they would have agreed to the conditions no matter what.

_Interesting. And so true_, Lorena thought. _Severus is the bound party_. He was the one to have to agree to the three conditions that Dumbledore had set. _I am the beneficiary_. The author was clear on this : Unbreakable Vows could not be binding on a party that would have been all the more willing to abide by the conditions set in the Vow. Such a Vow was taken in order to compel the bound party to carry out a deed or a condition.

Now the question was : What if the beneficiary of the Vow did not wish it to be carried out eventually ? Lorena went on, reading carefully. She found the answer a few paragraphs further. Indeed, in a Vow that had set conditions requiring both parties to act together, if the beneficiary refused or did not carry out the condition in question, the bound party could not be held liable as the defaulting will was the beneficiary's, not the bound party's. _Yes ! This is it !_ Lorena smiled to herself. _Severus is bound to marry me. Yet, if I don't want to marry him, he cannot be held responsible for my defaulting him. Therefore he cannot die._ The author went on explaining that the Vow was a matter of will and consent. That will and consent – or the lack thereof – could determine if the bound party died or not eventually. That made a whole difference.

Lorena was glad to have the confirmation. Yet, in the next paragraph, the author explained that due to their very nature, Unbreakable Vows had always been completed as per the conditions set, and that nobody had ever defaulted, out of fear of death. The above explanation was just a theory that had never been tested out in reality. The author went on with the Vow's particular magic that enabled to perform the conditions initially laid out, whatever the circumstances. It was even implied that the Vow's magic may _compel_ the bound party to carry out the conditions. She remembered the incident nearby the Forbidden Forest – what if the branch had broken on them not because of her own magic escaping her out of panic properly said, but solely on account of the Vow magic itself ?

Lorena felt a shiver run along her spine. _Only in theory_. She sighed. A theory she would not be that much willing to challenge in reality. She did not wish to marry Severus. However, she did not wish him to die. She read the text again aloud, so that her quill could write down the part of the text that interested her. She also took the book references for quotation in her letter. _As if my farewell letter was an essay…_ she mused with a sigh. At least, that somewhat academic approach of her letter would have the advantage to make him think her breaking up was not a spur of the moment – it was a well-thought process.

She closed the book and came back to her drafts. Some of them were not so bad after all. A good night's sleep had been helpful. Lorena dictated her quill a letter that sounded truthful and concise and loving enough at the same time. She would come back to it later, hoping that the present draft would still sound fine to her.

She came back to her dorm where she had her lunch. She did her best to avoid Severus – she was in no mood to talk to him, not after the letter she had written to him. Not with what she had in mind further to this. Not the lovely memories she had had of him very lately. She read again the letter and found it good in general, while correcting it and adding a few words here and removing others there.

Once she was happy with her letter, she copied it again on a clean parchment, made a replica thereof with a spell, then rolled it in her Potions essay to be given back in two days' time. She hesitated if she should remove the Snape medallion now or later. She chose to keep it on her, in case Severus may prove too much curious. Nothing went by him. She did not wish to raise the alarm in his mind. No, she would do so on the very day she would give him the letter and the essay. She would cast a containing spell so that the medallion may not escape the roll of parchments. She did not wish to lose such a precious and lovely jewel that she did no longer consider hers.

Before she could forget, Lorena removed the Snape medallion. She focused on it, holding it with her both hands. The medallion glowed and felt warmer between her palms. It had been a protection for him in the past. She wanted to make sure it was still the case. She focused all the love she had for Severus on it. The jewel was a protective charm by itself. She had mentioned this detail in her letter. It may prove useful to him after all. She still cared for him. Deeply.

The glow and the warmth on the medallion subsided. Lorena put it back around her neck, under her dress. She sighed. It was done. She was ready for a new year.

* * *

The Start-of-term feast was joyful, with everybody exchanging news about gifts and Christmas holidays. Draco found Lorena and wished her well. She did the same and they talked for the better part of dinner. Dumbledore made his usual welcoming speech, wishing everyone present a Happy New Year, renewing the same recommendations, giving some news about the school – among them the Hogsmeade weekends.

Draco seized Lorena's arm and asked her if she agreed to go out with him. Lorena remembered the discussion with the Headmaster about her protection. "We'll see, Draco, we'll see."

In return, she asked him who was at the table. The young man told her all the teachers were there, even Trelawney who usually never came, except to the end of term and start of term feasts. They exchanged other news with the other Slytherins around them.

From her talk with Draco, Lorena noticed that he did not know anything at all about what had happened between her and his aunt Bellatrix. She felt relieved, though aware that one could never know with Slytherins in general and Draco Malfoy in particular. He had learned from a young age on, how to hide a certain type of feelings. He was good at Occlumency too. She put her hand on his arm casually. Through her telepathic abilities, she was confirmed indeed that he did not know anything about the incident between Severus and Bellatrix involving her own person.

He talked to the others about the concert she had given in his home for New Year's Eve. So the topic of the conversation moved onto music in general, to Lorena's great relief. That was something she could handle. Draco even suggested that she could play music for the Slytherin students in their common room every now and then. She agreed after a few minutes of supplications from him. The others were curious, Draco just admitted he was a fan – which made everybody present laugh.

* * *

Lorena had been glad to see the other students. Severus had met all his students in the Slytherin common room before they went to bed, to give them his own recommendations. He was as usual, as cranky as ever, yet the Slytherins knew he would stick to them. Each House was like a second family for their students. Yet, this was all the more true for Slytherins, as they felt apart from the rest of the school. They knew they had to keep united.

"Real families stick together," Professor Snape had said. Lorena smiled. She knew where he had gotten that. After that, everyone scattered to their respective dorms.

* * *

Lorena had welcomed with joy the school routine. It had enabled her to forget some of her personal issues, while putting aside others for the time being. Her dormmates had enquired about her pregnancy. She had informed them that everything was fine in this regard. Out of caution, she cast the partial concealment charm on her belly – she did not wish some of the Death-Eaters' children to notice a detail that once repeated to their parents and forwarded to the Dark Lord, could mean a lot of problems for Severus. So, just before she got out of bed, she cast the charm, a charm she renewed regularly throughout the day, a charm she removed only once in bed at night.

She had had a physical too that confirmed she was in a great shape for a mother-to-be entering her sixth month. Poppy enquired if Lorena had followed her advice as far as sex was concerned. Lorena said yes. It was not exactly a lie, she had not felt uncomfortable or painful during sexual intercourses. Severus had taken her in his usual passionate manner, while she had noticed he had not been really rough. Yet, it was not the truth either. However, Lorena did not wish to have the topic raised with Severus – Poppy would not hesitate a single second to ask him. A confrontation with her future ex-lover was the last thing the young witch wanted.

Poppy Pomfrey had recommended her to be careful with the charm. She could understand Lorena's concern, that she should not show too much. Nonetheless, she warned her that the charm may have side-effect on her body – not directly on her child though. She advised her to use that charm only when utterly needed. Well, Lorena was puzzled : she lived among the people that were the most likely to tell their Death-Eater parents about her condition. She lived with Slytherins ! She resolved to wear looser school robes all the time. Disappearing from the Slytherin area on weekends was also another solution.

The first Potions class of the year arrived. Lorena was glad to give him her letter while at the same time, she felt sad over the turn their story had taken. Yet, she had made a choice and she would stick to it, taking the responsibility for its consequences. At the end of the class, she went to his desk, along the others, to give him back her essay. Severus watched her carefully, just long enough not to give any hint to other students that he was interested in her. Once she had given back her essay, she left the classroom with the other Slytherins. Relieved and incredibly nostalgic.

* * *

_**This is it. Lorena has taken action regarding her relationship with Severus.**__** How will he react ?**_

_**The theory I exposed regarding the Unbreakable Vow is somewhat daring, I must admit. But I like a good challenge every now and then. What do you think about it ? Is it plausible ?**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	94. A mutilated soul

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**9****4 – A mutilated soul**

Severus was glad the day was over. Double Potions with Slytherins and Gryffindors was always difficult – not because of the level of the class, 6th year – but because of the intense rivalry between the two Houses. There was also another factor that captured his attention : Lorena. For her first class, he had given a potion that was not dangerous for a pregnant woman to brew. As usual, she sat on the first desk rank to work, unlike the other students that seemed always afraid to sit so close to his desk. As far as he could remember, Lorena had never been afraid of him _as a student_.

Due to her disability, she was given his instructions on a parchment, that contained the ingredients and the steps to follow as written on the board, so that she could follow with her wand. That had been the only arrangement he had consented to suit her disability. He was of course more careful with her, in case she may make a mistake that could bear dangerous consequences. Most of the time, she worked alone, but for joint work, he paired her with someone that was not too clumsy in Potions, either someone from Slytherin or Ravenclaw.

He brought the essays the students had given back to him to his office for grading. He would do that later, after dinner. Yet, he was curious. He had not checked what she had done during the Christmas holidays as far as school work was concerned. He picked up her essay from the stack he had just collected.

At first, Severus felt something was different. Her essay seemed to weigh more than the others. Usually, Lorena was not the kind of student to write a lot to compensate the inanity of her school work. Intrigued, he unrolled her parchment to discover that two sheets of parchment were together. One was her essay, the other was a letter. Another detail caught his eyes. A jewel was there too. The Snape medallion.

This time, some alarm went off madly in his mind. Something was up. Severus took the medallion but detected no weird magic at all. Only her elemental magic, as usual. Nothing strange.

He took the letter and began to read it. As he was reading it, the little color left on his face, drained off him completely.

_Severus__, _

_This is surely one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my life. Writing this letter to tell you I leave you. Along with taking that decision, of course. _

_I'm no quitter but I'm quitting living with the violence that wraps and warps our relationship. I know that times ahead will be rough on both of us, rougher than they already are. I need to go on with my life - and with the life of our son. I don't know what future has in stock for us all but I wish to live the end of my pregnancy in a peaceful manner. After that… I may just die at the hands of the Dark Lord. I don't know. I did not take that decision all of a sudden. It's not a whim, on the contrary, but the outcome of a deep thinking._

_There was the issue of the Unbreakable Vow. I've studied it. I've discovered that I can release you from your Vow, as the beneficiary thereof. There's a book in the library entitled "Oaths and Vows in the Wizarding World" by Timothy McFarlane, Spell Master. He explains that the Vow is binding on the bound party as this party is considered as most reluctant to carry out the deeds or conditions set by the Vow. In our case, yourself. Yet, the beneficiary of the Vow – me – is NOT bound by the Vow. Therefore, if the beneficiary does not wish to carry out the deed or conditions set by the Vow upon the bound party, the bound party cannot be held responsible for not complying and therefore shall not die. I quoted the references of the book so that you may cross-check. I don't want you to die, yet I don't want to marry you either. We already addressed the subject some time ago, unsatisfactorily ; hence my research on the subject._

_I give you back the Snape medallion. It is your property after all – unless there was another hidden meaning in the words carved at the back of it ? As a token of my love for you, I endowed it with my elemental magic, for your protection. Keep it with you, all the time, around your neck or in your pocket. Focus on it if you're in pain or danger. Its magic is the most powerful ever. Nothing or nobody can destroy it – not even the Dark Lord. It's the magic of love, something that cannot be destroyed. My love for you cannot be destroyed. _

_I keep the Love-Snakes with me. I feel responsible for their well-being, like a mother towards her child, as they feed on my love. They are sentient beings. I don't want them to die. If you feel you can no longer feed your own Love-Snakes, you may give them to me, so that I can keep them alive too. I respect life too much to let them die – because things have not gone between us the way they could or should have been. I just know that I can't let them die._

_Severus, I just want you to know how much I love you. I want you to know how much I was happy with you in that cave, last Summer, when you taught me lovemaking. I shall never forget. How much you were a candle in the dark of my night - and a candle in the dark is brighter than the sun. However, I feel that the faint light of your soul was not enough to keep that candle alight. Your dark side has not won – I hope it never will. You only can do something to keep alive that faint light of your soul. But I cannot spend my life bearing the brunt of that darkness. I have to deal with mine, I cannot deal with yours._

_I was fully aware that I took a risk in loving you while this love of mine would remain unrequited. So be it. I could live with that. I know that there is something worse than indifference : it's violence. I just know that I can't live with your brutality towards me. I love you unconditionally – and will always do so. But I discovered that loving is not sufficient in a couple. Other things are required : care, attention, respect. _

_I believe you have these qualities deep inside of you, Severus, in the deepest recesses of your mind, nearby the faint light of your soul. But you let your dark side take over them too many times to give these qualities a fighting chance to live and blossom the way they need and deserve. Sometimes, I don't feel any of these qualities from you at all. When you show them to me, I'm always afraid that these will disappear in the wink of an eye. _

_Our relationship is an emotional roller-coaster that I can no longer afford to ride, being with child. Blame the sensitivity of an artist if you wish. Or the mood swings of a mother-to-be. But I must think about our son, his physical and psychological welfare first._

_N__ever forget that my love for you is undying. Just take good care of yourself, don't let anyone hurt you in the line of duty. I know how courageous you can be. So please... be careful. You're the bravest man I've ever met._

_Severus, __I'm dying a little bit more each passing day. Too much love will kill us in the end. I love you – unrelentingly. Merlin knows how much I would have wished things to be different between us. But maybe they were not meant to be._

_I love you, Severus, and I always will. But I can't stay with you. I just simply can't._

_Lorena_

When Severus had reached the end of the letter, he felt as if all warmth in his body and soul had gone. As if a Dementor had entered his office and was about to give him the Kiss. He leaned against his desk there, in search of support.

Shattered. He felt shattered. Utterly shattered.

The letter escaped his hand and fell on his desk. Along with the Snape medallion.

No, it could not be possible. She could not have done _that_, to _him_. She was _his_, his property. She carried _his_ child. She said she loved _him_. How could she leave _him_ then ? How dared she ?

_She said she loved me. Unconditionally. She even wrote it !_ He realized he may have taken her too much for granted after all. Yet, he remembered the last time they had made love, in Spinner's End. It had been blissful – for them both. She had thoroughly enjoyed making love with him then. _She had said 'no' but her body had said 'yes'. She had ended up screaming her pleasure out ! Why would she leave me now ?_

Severus needed something to drink. Quick. Right now. He went to his liquor cabinet and got out a bottle of PureFire whiskey with a glass. He opened it and poured himself a glass. Which he downed in one single gulp.

Then another. And another one. And another again.

The alcohol only just added more fire to his already boiling blood. He let out a raging, feral scream. A wave of fury took over him. He needed to do something.

He went to the nearest shelf and took one jar there. Which he threw against the opposite wall. The jar landed in a crashing sound. As this was not enough, he took another jar, regardless of the content it may have, precious, rare, dangerous – or not.

It was not enough. A third jar sustained the same fate, its slimy content flowing on the wall to the ground, leaving a greasy stain there. His control had been shattered too. He needed to lose control – just only once.

Severus did stop after the seventh jar had crashed on the wall. What little was left of his lucidity told him he could not deplete his stock of ingredients and wreck his office. Yet, he still felt angry and shattered. More than ever. So he resolved to turn to another course of action.

_She said I'm too much in the Dark side._ His gaze fell on some of his utensils. There, the silvery shine of a dagger was glowing. He took it in his right hand, looking at it for long seconds, then feeling the sharp edge with his thumb.

_I've lost her because of that Dark side in me. _Suddenly, he removed his wand from his sleeve, unbuttoned his left frock coat sleeve and rolled up his shirt sleeve, baring his forearm. He gazed at the Dark Mark for quite some time. Disgust, revulsion and hatred were written on his face.

"I've lost you, Lorena, because of _this_ ! Like I lost Lily, all these years ago ! Damn Mark !" he roared.

Severus took the whiskey bottle and brought it directly to his lips. He drank several gulps out of it before putting the bottle back onto his desk brutally. He considered using his wand and decided against.

Then, with a cold look on his Dark Mark, he plunged the silver dagger into his flesh around it, as if he had wished to cut it off his skin.

He clenched his teeth. His own control, his resilience to pain, along with the strong dose of alcohol he had just taken, helped him ignore the pain for a moment. He had gone through worse, yet he fell onto his knees. He managed to cut his skin all around the evil Mark, causing only a serious bleeding. Considering this was not enough, he let go of the dagger and grabbed his wand. At this moment, pain took mercy on him and before he could cast the _Sectumsempra_ onto his own flesh, he collapsed on the floor, Lorena's name on his lips, darkness all around him.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore was worried. He had not seen Severus coming to the Great Hall for dinner. He wondered if the younger wizard had not been summoned. He asked Minerva if she had seen him in the staff room. The Deputy Headmistress had not. "Ask Filius, will you ?" he told her discreetly. The tiny Charms professor shook his head a few seconds later.

Alastor Moody was sitting two chairs away to his left. Albus did not wish to show everybody, staff and students alike, that he was worried. He got up and went to speak to the ex-Auror.

"Alastor, Severus is not here. Have you seen him recently ?"

The ex-Auror glanced at the empty seat beside him. "No, Albus. Maybe he's decided to eat in his lab. You know him, maybe he has some potion brewing."

"Hmmm… you're right, maybe. Listen, I'm going to check his office and lab in the dungeons."

"Do you want me to come with you ?"

"No, no need, thank you, Alastor." Dumbledore patted his old friend's shoulder in a grateful gesture then came back to Minerva. He told her he had to go to the dungeons. Surely Severus had lost track of time, focused as he could be on his potions sometimes. The old witch nodded. The Headmaster left the Great Hall through a side door.

He had a strange feeling though. As focused and enthusiastic as he could be over his potion work, Severus was not the kind of man to miss dinner as a duty. He could put a stasis charm on a potion. Or he would have planned to brew in a time period that left him all the time he needed, like on weekends. No, there was something weird in all this.

Of course, the office door was heavily warded. Due to the very nature of the products stored inside – that was understandable. It took several minutes for Dumbledore to lift the complicated series of wards the Potions Master had set up. Albus thanked himself to be one of the most powerful and talented wizards of the time. It would have taken several more minutes to any other wizard, to disable the wards.

_One more minute and I would have __fetched Filius to help me ! _

The Headmaster entered the office. It was lit while there was nobody. The next second, his eyes noticed the mess on the floor. Several jars had exploded against the wall and there were shards of glass on the floor. _Looks like there had been a fight here… But who would have fought with Severus with some… jars ? _

His steely blue gaze scanned the area. The whiskey bottle stood proudly, almost empty, on the desk. Seized by an awful feeling, Albus rushed there. He stopped dead on his tracks, a gasp of horror on his face.

His Potions Master was lying on the ground, his left arm exposed, the skin of his forearm savagely ripped off, drowning the Dark Mark in red blood.

"Oh, Severus…" the old man sighed while kneeling down. He slid a finger under the high-collared shirt and frock coat, searching for the pulse on his neck. Faint but steady. He noticed the silver dagger nearby, all bloody, then the ebony wand in the younger man's right hand.

"Oh, Severus, what have you done ?" Albus had a deep look of compassion for his Potions Master. "You wanted to get rid of it, didn't you ?" He sighed. He took out his own wand. He was sure he had used the dagger to wound himself. Yet, the wand in Severus' hand may indicate that he may have used a Dark spell to achieve a similar result.

_Better be careful with these Dark spells._ He remembered the one that was his Potions Master's signature spell. _Sectumsempra. You and your Dark stuff !_ "Severus… my boy… what happened to you, that you decided to… to mutilate yourself like this ?" he said gently while patting the younger wizard's pale cheek.

Albus had no idea if a Dark spell had been used. He took Severus' wand and cast the _Priori Incantatem_ with it. Only an _Evanesco_ and a Summoning charm had been used. Reassured, he resolved to stop the bleeding with a common healing charm. Then he got up to his feet, searching for something to clean the wound.

At this moment, his gaze fell on the desk, where a piece of parchment drew his attention. He took it and began to read.

Lorena's letter. He read it entirely. "Now I guess I know the reason behind all this… Poor Severus…" He put the letter back on the desk. He spotted a piece of rag on a shelf which he Transfigured into a clean cloth. He cast the _Aguamenti_ spell on it to wet it. He began cleaning the wound. When he was done, Albus wrapped the younger wizard's forearm in it.

At this moment, Severus came back to his senses. "Headmaster…" he called faintly.

"Severus ! Let me take you to the Hospital Wing."

"No !" He grabbed the old man's robes. "No, just help me to my quarters… please…"

"The wound is serious, Severus, it may get infected."

"I have… everything required to clean the wound… in my quarters… Albus… Please !"

The plea in his voice was too much poignant to be ignored. "Alright, my boy. Just tell me… what else have you used to hurt yourself ?"

"Nothing… I fainted before… just used the dagger…"

Albus used a Levicorpus charm to bring his Potions Master to his quarters. There, he helped him sit in the sitting-room. He rushed to the bathroom to fetch all the relevant potions he could find. He came back with five or six vials. Pain-killing potions, blood-replenishing potions, disinfecting salves. Some dittany. Albus also cleaned the wound more thoroughly before applying the salve and a cicatrizing cream on it. He bandaged the forearm.

"How do you feel now, Severus ?" he asked gently.

The younger wizard remained silent.

"Do you want to talk about it ?"

"No."

"I think you should."

"No !"

Albus decided a change in tactics – he knew what it was all about after all. "Listen, Severus, I know how much you wished to have never, ever taken the Dark Mark, all these past years. Yet, it's the very first time I see you hurting yourself so badly. What happened that you wanted to get rid of it in such a… a gruesome fashion ? You know it doesn't work like that."

Severus sighed in defeat. He felt weak. Too much weak for his own taste. He felt sad and angry. "Yeah… Once a Death-Eater, always a Death-Eater, eh ?" he slurred.

"You drank before you mutilated yourself. Severus, you're the most courageous man I've ever known. What prompted you to do this ?"

The Potions Master fought with himself. Albus sensed it. "What is said here, Severus, shall remain here," the old man added.

Pain and struggle with himself was plain written on the younger wizard's pallid face. "Do I have your word on that ? What happened tonight must remain a secret !"

"It shall, Severus, it shall. Now, I'm aware that I ask sometimes too much of you. I know that this life as a spy takes a heavy toll on you. What happened ?"

The Potions Master closed his eyes. "True I'm fed up with all this, Albus. That's no secret. Yet… I can deal with that. That's my… punishment for my crimes as a Death-Eater." _My punishment for my crimes against Lorena._

"So why did you do this to you ?" the old man insisted. He watched the younger man with his steely blue eyes. "I won't use Legilimency on you, Severus. Yet, I need to know because I cannot let one member of my staff, my most precious Order member, go crazy to the point he hurt himself horribly. You drank, you had begun to destroy your office, then I found you soaking in your own blood ! For your own safety, I must know !" He took his hand in a fatherly gesture.

"Listen, Albus, it has nothing to do with the school or the Order business. That's something… more personal… I can't tell you. Don't insist, please. I don't want to talk about it now. I need… time to pick myself up. Please. It's just… It won't happen again. I promise you that."

Severus had decided he would not speak. There was nothing Albus could do against that. "I know how private you are, Severus. I won't insist and what happened here, shall remain here, between you and me. However, if you feel the need to talk, you know where to find me."

"Thanks, Albus. By the way, how did you know…"

"That you were here, bleeding ? I haven't seen you at dinner. Neither have the other teachers. I had a bad feeling, maybe you had been summoned or whatever." He sighed. "Now, I'm going to clean your office while you rest here."

"No !" Severus had just realized that Albus would find the letter then. The letter that had triggered off all this. "No, leave that to me, Albus. I'll do it, I need to know what… what I've destroyed… to know what to replace."

Albus smiled at him. He did not insist – he knew already, about the letter. He knew that the letter was the true motive behind all this – Severus' secretive behavior had just proved it. "Alright, Severus. You're the Potions Master here after all, you'd know better than me." He was about to leave the room. "Oh, I'll ask a house elf to bring you food. You need to eat after all the blood you lost and then, you go to bed. If you wish, I can come back in one hour or so."

Severus did not wish to have a Headmaster acting like a mother hen around him. "No, I'm going to be fine."

"Severus, you're exempted from tonight's patrolling. If you need so, I may excuse you from your classes tomorrow. Unless you'll feel alright ?"

"No need. I appreciate for my night duties. Yet, I'm going to be alright for tomorrow's classes, Headmaster. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Severus." Albus looked at his Potions Master a last time with compassion and shook his head. _Poor Severus… Now things are worse…_

* * *

_**I know Severus reacted in a rather gruesome manner yet I think his reaction is consistent with his frame of mind and present feelings. Self-loathing, self-punishment, disregard for his own health and safety, sacrifice. Not that he's one to be suicidal – though that remains to be proved – but he has trouble to keep his mind and soul away from self-destruction inclines. **_

_**His self-control is always challenged when Lorena is in cause. Obviously, this time, he could not maintain it.**_

_**Once again, things are settled in blood.**_

___**What do you think, dear readers ? Your appreciation and comments are important for us writers.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	95. Lovers reunited

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**9****5 – Lovers reunited**

Now Albus Dumbledore knew the truth about the relationship between Severus and Lorena. He also had strong suspicions as to the deep motives behind his Potions Master's reaction. He did not need to question the younger wizard about them. He knew why he had had fallen out with Lily, all these years ago. Once more, he knew that Severus would suffer. He sighed. _Would this boy learn one day ?_

Severus remembered what had happened then. Lily, his young classmate – and first love – had refused to accept his apologies after he had used the word 'Mudblood' against her. She had not understood the real reasons why the young man had chosen to study the Dark Arts – to bring her back to him, thinking that she would be impressed and recognize his true value and power as a wizard. It had been a complete failure. Not only Lily had never come back to him, but she had also dated another man and married him eventually. Severus' very enemy.

Severus had then tried to protect her – and subsequently her husband and child – out of love. He had even taken an Unbreakable Vow with Dumbledore for this, promising to do _anything_ for the Headmaster in exchange of the Order's protection of the Potters. But it had not worked. Lily and her family had died from the hands of the Dark Lord and the Death-Eaters in a raid.

Severus had felt responsible for her death – for reasons unclear even to him. He had felt shattered. It had taken years to get over all this. Years and a great deal of hurting and bitterness.

And now, he was back to square one, down the same road again. With Lorena. He felt even more shattered that he deemed to have committed worse crimes against Lorena. Where he had only insulted Lily, he had raped and been violent with the young witch that carried his child. Now, she had left him – like Lily had. No wonder.

After all these years, he had only himself to blame.

After all these years, he had learned nothing.

Nothing about love. Nothing about feelings. Nothing about women. Severus had to reckon that going to brothels and whores to get mere sexual relief had not helped him improve in this regard. Neither spending time in the company of the Dark Lord and the other Death-Eaters, brutalizing witches and Muggle women alike in their raids and revels. On the contrary – he had buried his feelings even more to such an extent they almost no longer existed.

Maybe his deep nature was just like that. Bad. Violent. Evil. Yes, he was surely like that. Unable to be loved, like his own parents had not loved him. Unable to love. Yet… he had loved Lily. To the point he had taken that incredible Unbreakable Vow with Dumbledore – to do the old man's bidding. _Anything_. Alright, he had loved. He could not any longer.

And now he had the opportunity to get a woman for himself, he had let it escape. She had left him. Definitively. He was surely the biggest dunderhead in the world – Muggle and wizarding combined. He could never get her back. Even with their child. If she preferred enduring many toils and snares as an unwed mother, instead of marrying him, it spoke volumes about him and his behavior with her.

Was he cursed ? Was he condemned to live his life without love ?

She loved him though. He read her letter again. Each word was full of love. The whole parchment was dripping with love. How he could have blown it all up high sky ? Again, darkness, violence, evil. _What a waste. I wasted it all. _The sense of irreparable loss tightened his heart in his chest.

Severus took the Snape medallion in his hand. He turned the pendant to read the words carved on the back of it. _Property of Prof. Severus Snape_. She was his and he had lost her. Like the perfect dunderhead he was.

Severus could have resolved to run after her. But he was too much proud and hurt to do so. He just put the Snape medallion into his frock coat pocket, like she had told him to do. She had worn the medallion for so much time that it was endowed with her love and magic. Even with her scent – his sensitive Potions Master's nose could perceive it. It was like possessing her a little.

No, he would not run after her. He would do the hurting on his own, like he had done with Lily. In silence, alone. Of course, he would carry out his two masters' orders to protect her. He would keep an eye on her any time, making sure nothing happened to her and her child. He wondered if he could call little Alan _his_ child too. If he could see him after his birth. If he were allowed to see him grow up. _If we can make it alive till then. _

He imagined the boy entering Hogwarts in about eleven years or so. If Severus was still alive by then, and still a teacher here, of course, he would see him grow up. But he would be just a teacher for the boy. Nothing more. For a second or two, Severus wished he could die before the end of the war against the Dark Lord. Then his Slytherin sense of self-preservation took over.

For the time being, it would be difficult to see Lorena in class. She would do the loving while he would do the hurting.

No, he had learned nothing. Thing was, it looked like he was close to learn nothing more these days.

* * *

The Slytherin sixth-year Potions classes, that followed his receiving her letter, were full of tension. Despite his long habit of keeping his feelings for himself, Severus was more bitter and angry than ever. He was usually snarky, even cruel, with students that messed up his class. Falling out with Lorena had made him downright unsociable.

Especially with Lorena. He tried to keep his anger and bitterness towards her to a minimum yet, sometimes he could not. He just could not – he burst out in flares of sarcasms and barely veiled mockery against her. Of course, his attitude did not escape the other students. Lorena had always been a good student, especially in Potions, a class where she was very quiet and where she raised no objection from him regarding her work – which was tantamount to praise as far as he was concerned.

Lorena was fully aware that his attitude was a direct consequence of the letter. She wondered if that had been a wise move of hers. Yet, deep down, she knew she had been right in doing so. At least, it was honest. Severus was horrible with her in class, whether Potions or D.A.D.A., but for the rest of the time, he left her perfectly alone.

She still loved him though. She clung to that feeling for her child's sake. Maybe she would need a bit of time without him, at least up to her giving birth. After… she would see. She may die by then. When Alan was doing riff-raff in her womb, she would just think about Severus and the good memories they had had together, focusing her feelings on the baby, like she would do to cast a Patronus charm. The child would calm down after several minutes.

Lorena had to reckon that Severus' touch was much more efficient. It usually took only a few seconds for the Potions Master to calm down their child in her womb, after he had put his hands on her belly. She had to admit she missed his touch on her body.

She was patient, as if not noticing how much his attitude had deteriorated with her. Even Draco had asked her what was happening. She just shrugged, hinting she had no idea about the matter. Maybe just a whim of their Head of House. The rumor mill began to spread that it was because she was pregnant out of wedlock and that her teachers would make her pay her condition due to an irresponsible behavior of hers. Yet, except Severus, the other teachers did not pay attention to her condition and just treated her the same way as before. Other rumors, this time localized in Slytherin only, said that this was because she was a Muggle-born, that their Head of House acted that way with her because of her blood status. Well, that was what some Slytherins believed.

Lorena had no problem with that. The farther from truth they all were, the better for her, in her opinion. Yet, this was not so comfortable and Lorena wished everything could go quiet for a while. She had to admit that Severus did not help that much. She said nothing but was on her guard though.

She had resolved to flee the Slytherin area as much as possible. In the heart of January, there were not many places that could welcome a blind, pregnant young woman. The library was one but she could not play music there. Hagrid's hut was too far for her now, she was quickly tired. The garden or the lake borders could do the trick – provided the weather was not too harsh, which was not the case most of the time. Winter this year seemed to be really awful and endless.

There was the Room of Requirement – when it was not occupied by students that wanted to get there for their own purposes. Besides, the Room was located on the seventh floor and Lorena began to feel tired because of her pregnancy. She had opted for a lonely classroom she had found on the first floor. Not very far from the dungeons and the Great Hall. Not bad a compromise. She closed herself inside the classroom, warded it, cast a silencing spell so as not to betray her presence or annoy anybody else in the vicinity. Alone, with her music, she spent a soothing moment, forgetting her troubles and pains.

One teacher had spotted her. Alastor Moody kept an eye – his magical eye, so to speak - on her. He had not forgotten her and he did his best to meet her 'by chance', so as not to draw attention on them. One day, he saw her entering the classroom. A few seconds later, before she could set up any wards, he entered the place.

"Who's there ?" Lorena said aloud with a hint of anxiety in her voice. She would have recognized Severus' steps, yet, she did not wish him to come to her. Above all if she was alone in an empty room.

"Just me, Lorena," said a growling voice she recognized with a sigh of relief.

"Professor Moody !"

"I preferred when you called me by my first name."

"You may have been not on your own… Alastor."

As fast as he could, he came to her side and took her in his arms for a fierce hug. "You're right, Lorena. I admire your caution."

"Constant vigilance, you said," she teased him with a smile.

"What are you doing here ?"

"I found this unused classroom, so that's perfect a place for me to play." She took out her reduced violin case from her pocket. She carried it with her all the time now. Ready to enjoy the least moment of free time. "Do you want me to play ? For you ?"

"I'd like very much, yet, I was wondering why you had not come to me instead. You know you may come to my office and play there."

Lorena lowered her eyes. "I didn't want to annoy you, Alastor."

"You don't annoy me, Lorena, and you know it." He sighed and hugged her more closely. He cast a silencing spell. "I've missed you so much during the holidays," he whispered.

He caressed her cheek then put a delicate kiss on her lips. Lorena felt good – there was at least one soul in this castle that took care of her. She let him access her mouth, even capturing his tongue for a deeper kiss. He groaned in the kiss, out of appreciation. He pushed her gently against the teacher's desk.

"How much I've missed you…" Moody said after breaking the kiss. "I would have gladly taken you with me during the holidays."

Lorena smiled at him. "And what would have been the program for the holidays ?"

"Oh, you can imagine… I would have made love to you every day. Then I would have brought you to the Ministry of Magic and married you right there."

"You're joking, Alastor !"

"No, I'm not."

This time, Lorena's smile froze on her lips. Emotion could be read on her face. She did not know what to say. She hoped he would give up that idea.

"You're of age, Lorena. You're an adult and nobody, not even Dumbledore, would have prevented me from doing that."

"I don't think this is a good idea, Alastor. We need… a bit of time…" She wanted to add she needed to complete her education but refrained from doing so – the excuse was rather lame, after all she was supposed to marry Severus as soon as this was possible…

"That's what the reasonable part of my brain told me. You know I'm not a reasonable man. Blame my Gryffindor temper for that."

Lorena released a silent breath inside her. "Do you think that's reasonable that a Gryffindor like you marry a Slytherin like me ?"

Moody let out a hearty laughter. "I don't know. You don't look like the average Slytherin witch to me."

"I can assure you, I am," she said seriously.

"You're a Muggle-born. For a Slytherin, you're already off the mark."

This time, Lorena laughed. _If only he knew…_ "You just made my day," she said gently, while caressing his cheek.

"So, that's a good point." He took her lips for another amorous kiss that lasted long. At some point, he made her sit on the desk she was leaned against. "I want you, Lorena. I've missed you so much, so much…"

"Here ? Now ?"

"Yes. An old fantasy of mine. As a teacher." He turned towards the door and cast a series of wards on it. "Now, you're my prisoner, Lorena. The Auror I'm still deep down is ready for investigating on you." He tucked a daring hand under her robes.

Lorena giggled. Moody was funny indeed. She spread her thighs so that he could insert himself in between. They went on kissing with passion. At one moment, she felt him getting her rid of her knickers, her skirt and robes tucked up to her waist, above her belly. She heard him unzip his own trousers.

He caressed her belly, his voice raspy with admiration over her extended girth. "Oh, you're so sexy, so beautiful… I didn't know I could be turned on by a pregnant woman… the way I am with you." His large hands roamed over her belly in a gentle caress.

She giggled. "Be careful, Alastor… I've read that… sex must be gentle from now on for a pregnant woman like me." She could not tell him that Mrs Pomfrey had told her so, in the perspective she may have sex with Severus.

"I'll be gentle and careful, Lorena… don't worry, I know how I am hung… believe me, I don't want to hurt you... Just to give you pleasure…" He inserted a finger, then two, in her vagina, his thumb stroking her clit, to arouse her. She became wet quickly under his deft ministrations.

Alastor entered her slowly, with a deep, moaning sigh. He took her mouth with his. Lorena let out a moan when she felt his maleness in her warm tightness.

"Oh Merlin… that's so good…" Moody said. "I've missed you so much…" He held her tight against him, a hand under her head, possessing her mouth with his tongue while his maleness possessed her body, in slow, gentle, tender thrusts. Lorena spread her legs even more, clasping her ankles behind his back, to welcome him deeper.

She moaned her pleasure. She felt good between his arms. It was good to feel desired between a man's arms. "Oh, Alastor… what are you doing to me ?..."

"Love, Lorena. Just making love to you…" He moaned louder. "Come for me, love…"

"Take me harder…"

"I don't want to hurt you or the baby…"

"Oh, you may… take me… harder… Alastor… please…"

He grunted and sped up his rhythm in her. He laid her on her back and caught her both thighs to open then even more. He saw his maleness going to and fro inside her body and it aroused him even more. "Do you like it ?... Like this ?..."

"Oh, yes… more, Alastor, more…"

"I'm going to give you more… promise me you'll tell me if it becomes painful…" He stopped his movement in her.

She moaned out of frustration. "Why did you stop ?"

"You promise me ?"

"Yes… please ! Take me harder… I need it… please !"

Moody smiled at her, even if he knew she could not see him. He resumed his movement in her, harder this time. Lorena began to writhe with pleasure. Oh, that was so good, so good… The image of Severus taking her like that on his desk in his office or his lab or his class, she could not say, sprang up in her mind.

"Come for me, Lorena !" he growled with a feral tone. He pushed inside her harder for several strokes, feeling her pleasure going higher and higher. "Come for me, witch ! Now !" She did, letting out a long scream of pleasure when she clenched her muscles tight around his maleness. He came with a loud grunt, spilling his seed in her, before leaning on her to take her mouth for a greedy kiss.

Their lovemaking had not lasted more than a few minutes but it had been particularly intense and satisfying. They finished their embrace with a loving kiss. Moody was a good lover – as good as Severus. Lorena had to reckon that it had been the second time she had thought about the Potions Master. _Will I be free from him one day ?_ she wondered.

Alastor Moody did not let her linger on that thought. "Come with me, Lorena, we'll have a cup of tea together in my office. You could play for me there too, if you wish." He helped her tidy herself up after casting a Scourgify spell on the both of them. He canceled the wards and the silencing spell he had cast on the room. His magical eye informed him that there was nobody in the corridor and they could therefore go out without being noticed. He took Lorena by her elbow and led her to the second floor.

Once in his office, he prepared some tea while Lorena played the violin. He was very happy to have her with him – for him only. He was looking at her lovingly, hungrily. He found her beautiful – and she was his.

* * *

_**For my plot, I have sorted Alastor Moody in Gryffindor - which seems to fit his temper and abilities.**_

_**I also support the theory that binds Severus and Albus through an Unbreakable Vow - a Vow that the Headmaster would have taken with a young Severus Snape in exchange of his protecting the Potters. "Anything" - ensuring thus his staunch loyalty to him. I had thought about it when I had read Dumbledore's reply to Harry in the books, when the boy asked him how he could be so sure that Professor Snape was on their side.**_

_**I'm aware that this theory can be challenged - after all, it has not been featured in the memories Severus gave to Harry in the **__**Deathly Hallows**__**. Yet, these are only memories and we may think that Severus, about to die, had not deemed important to emphasize this point. The rest of his memories and actions are a testimony enough of his loyalty to Harry's mother and Dumbledore. However, in my plot, as there is no Harry P., I introduce that theory to use it fully.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	96. Revelations in Borderedge Lane

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**96**** – Revelations in Borderedge Lane**

Alastor and Lorena kept on seeing each other privately. There were the Dueling classes but they kept contact to a minimum there. Moody had noticed that Severus behaved in a very cold and almost nasty fashion with the young Slytherin woman – which surprised him. Professor Snape was said to be very protective of his House students. Alastor wondered if that was because the young girl was pregnant out of wedlock. Yet, it did not match with Severus' personality. The Potions Master was not known for the purity of his morality. No, there was something else, something that Alastor Moody could not perceive. Maybe Severus was just his usual old charming self…

Lorena put up with the rumors and Severus' bad mood with fortitude. The former died down eventually, to her great relief. The latter went on with his behavior but she had decided to let go, playing it indifferent. It did not pay off. The more indifferent she was, the nastier he was. She held fast to her resolve – she had left him. He would not make her cry in class. No way.

Lorena was a person that could cry a lot. But it was always silently and privately. No loud sobs or noisy wailing. Her tears just rolled down her cheeks in silence. Most of the time, she hid her tears from people – except to people that mattered a lot to her. Or when she played music. But that was different. Once she had decided she would not cry in front of a particular person or in a particular place, she could harden herself to a point her eyes remained dry, despite the absolute maelstrom of feelings she could feel deep down herself.

There she was in Potions class. Severus had to admit the young woman did not lack self-control. He had not managed to make her cry in class. Watching her was the ultimate torture for him. He could not help imagining her in another man's arms. He wondered if he could go on like this. So he took his frustration and anger and despair out on her.

And she was patient because she still loved him. And he was nasty with her because he still lusted for her. More than ever.

* * *

Aware of Severus' attitude, Lorena was even more careful in her dealings with Moody. She did not wish to betray the ex-Auror and the relationship they had together, to Severus. She remembered the Potions Master's threats to report the ex-Auror to the Headmaster, before the Christmas break, on account of an inappropriate teacher/student affair. He was so much in a foul mood that he could resort to _anything_ to make her life even more miserable than it was already. The ends justified the means. His selfishness justified any action from him.

If Severus could not have her, then no other man would.

Lorena was happy to have Alastor Moody in her life. Between his arms she felt loved and desired and reassured. She craved for tenderness and comfort. He was the right man to give her that. Yet, she could not help thinking about Severus, even during lovemaking. Above all during lovemaking.

However, her happiness with Alastor was deemed to be short-lived though. Lorena did not betray her lover. She just betrayed herself and her true feelings.

Since the time they had made love together in the lonely classroom, Lorena had seen Moody three other times. They met in his quarters, once a week, on Saturday afternoons. They spent the whole afternoon in each other's arms, making love, chatting, giggling together. Nobody wondered about her whereabouts then – except Severus who had to keep an eye on her. He could not catch her with Moody, yet he had strong suspicions as to where she spent her Saturday afternoons, with whom and what for. His intense jealousy and possessiveness was brought to unbearable levels for him, fueling a rage he felt against the young woman. He made her pay back for that during class with a violence that only equaled his absolute feelings of despair and abandon.

Each time Alastor and Lorena made love together, she could not help thinking about Severus. He was like a ghost lingering into her soul, coming back to her memory forcefully when she expected him the least.

Especially in the middle of lovemaking.

The second afternoon they made love together, Lorena had to bite her lip to refrain herself from moaning the name of her former lover during sex with Alastor. Yet, his image in her mind made her reach higher levels of pleasure. Severus was hard to ban to the deepest corners of her soul. He was still at the forefront. She was aware that he still had a lot of purchase over her – body and soul alike. She wondered if the Love-Snakes magic was not playing tricks with her mind. She removed the ring for another round but his image was still there, powerful, in her soul.

Lorena had to admit that the true nature of her bond with Severus was much more complex and deeper than she had thought of first. There was something there that escaped her understanding – from an intellectual point of view.

Was it the Unbreakable Vow magic at work ? The special bond they shared ? Her love for him – surely. His feelings for her ? He had none. So she believed.

* * *

Severus was more and more angry and cranky to the point his behavior had become unbearable. Even his colleagues had noticed. Dumbledore had noticed it too. The old Headmaster had wondered then if he should not try to talk to Lorena directly – maybe if she came back to the Potions Master, Severus would come back to a more tolerable attitude with people in general. Yet, for once, he deemed that he should not interfere with their love life – given the content of her letter. Severus and Lorena would not have accepted it, both being private people.

As long as Severus' service to Hogwarts and the Order was fulfilled as usual, Dumbledore had to admit that he had no advice to give, nothing more to say. How much he would have loved to help them both, the old Headmaster deemed this was a situation that the pair had to work out by themselves.

Severus himself was aware that this situation was becoming more and more difficult for him to handle. His own drive was too much strong to be contained. He needed some release. Sexual release. Of course, he wanted Lorena like never before. If he had given in to his own instincts, he would have trapped her and taken her again, above all without her consent, just to make her pay back the deep misery he was in.

He could not, of course – even if he had already done so before. He was sure that this would be the surefire way to turn her against him definitively. Well, he had already lost her. No, he could not do that again. He may endanger her health and that of their son. He could not do that. Because he was sure of one thing : if he took her, he would be most brutal in his possession of her. He may even kill her – out of passion for her. After that, the Unbreakable Vow's magic would put an end to his miserable life once and for all. Even before the Dark Lord did so.

So he resolved to do the only thing he knew would help him release his all too much pent-up sexual drive, lust and anger. He put his traveling cloak on his shoulders, made sure he had enough galleons in his pocket before leaving his quarters. Tonight was Imbolc – he had planned first to pick up snowdrops and blackthorns, potions ingredients said to be most powerful when picked up on that night.

But Severus needed to get out of his duties and his life. Out of Hogwarts. Night had already fallen. He walked quickly to the Hogwarts gates. Once outside the grounds, he Apparated.

* * *

Borderedge Lane was dimly lit as usual. Severus took his bearings, his wand secured tightly in his hand. He took a deep breath. The night air was cold. He walked quickly, his drive pushing him forward, much more than cold could ever. He felt hot.

The street was almost deserted. Severus knew his way there. Borderedge Lane was to Wizarding Liverpool what Knockturn Alley was to Wizarding London. Infamous. Shady. Dark. A place of disrepute. The ideal place for people that searched illegal substances and even less legit potions ingredients. A place where any kind of business could be concluded – even the most criminal. For a Potions Master and a Death-Eater like Severus Snape, Borderedge Lane was a must.

Yet, tonight, Severus had not come to shop for potions ingredients. It was too late and the shops had closed down for the day. No, he had come for a whole another reason. Borderedge Lane was also well known for other charming characteristics.

It held some of the finest brothels and best whores ever in Wizarding Britain – even better than in Wizarding London. At least in Severus' opinion. And that was what had led him there tonight. Anger and lust. Sex and prostitutes.

He had not bought a woman in ages – too dangerous as his station within the inner circle had brought him closer and closer to the Dark Lord. Less and less time, between his work as a teacher, a Potions Master and a spy for two very demanding masters.

Then there had been Lorena. She had entered his life unexpectedly. Now she was out, gone, most likely having joy and fun between another man's arms. The memory of her only fueled his drive to have another woman. One that would pay for Lorena.

Severus was on the prowl. After a few minutes' walk, he spotted a group of girls on the pavement, standing under a streetlamp and trying to keep warm by chatting and laughing together. He watched them from a distance, his dark gaze detailing each of them, like a predator selecting his future prey. One of the girls had long, curly, black hair, a fair complexion, about the same size as Lorena. Now he was set on his prey, a feral instinct guiding him towards the girl. He moved closer to the group. The one that had interested him from a distance, seemed lovely and lively at closer range. She seemed to radiate a certain joy and sweetness, rather rare in a prostitute. It drew him even more to her. He would get that one.

He went to the girls and talked to the one he had already selected. After a few words exchanged about the 'services' she offered and her fares, they agreed and he followed her to a building nearby. The place was shabby. She led him inside her small room.

She was not exactly like Lorena – her eyes were of a deep blue instead of the pale gray color Lorena's had. Never mind, it would do. As for the rest, she looked like the woman he wanted so much for himself.

"How old are you ?" he asked.

"Old enough to have sex, don't worry," she replied deadpan. In front of his insisting dark gaze, she snorted. "Alright, I'm twenty." She was about two years older than Lorena. She was a bit on the plump side but Severus did not mind. He loved having something to grasp and grope in a woman – Lorena had that quality too and even more since she had become pregnant.

The girl began to undress. Severus noticed that she carried no wand with her. He suspected she was most likely a Squib. He tried his Legilimency on her. Slipping inside her mind was easy, she did not even notice, pretty much like Muggles. She was indeed a Squib.

She had removed her dress and bra, when she turned towards him, a puzzled look on her face. He had just removed his traveling cloak. "You don't get undressed, do you ?" she asked.

"No."

"No ?"

"No."

"Not even to have sex ?"

"No, I don't."

That was final. The girl looked at him with a puzzled look on her face. _Another weirdo._ "As you wish." This wizard had something disquieting. Not only he was not a looker at all, not to say ugly, but it emanated an aura of darkness and danger from him. _No wonder he needs to resort to us whores to have a bit of fun._ There was something almost animal-like in his obsidian eyes. But the girl knew her business. Men were not always what they appeared to be – maybe this was just his look, there seemed to be something shy about him. Maybe he would be gentle…

"Relax," she said with a smile on her lips. "Is it your first time with a whore ?"

"No."

"Maybe your first time _ever_ ?" she said jokingly, hoping to lighten the mood.

This time, he did not reply. He just came to her and caught her wrists forcefully, his dark gaze trained on her, boring to her soul. "Is this how you treat your clients, you filthy Squib ?"

The girl's lips parted a bit, her blue eyes big with fear. "How… how do you know… I'm a Squib ?"

He sneered. "So easy. You're so weak," he said without expanding any further. "I'll show you I'm no longer a virgin either. I'll show you what a man can do to you," he growled with lust. He dominated her and he liked that a lot.

The girl felt danger but she kept her self-control. "That's okay, sir. Don't hurt me. I'll do whatever you want. Anything," she fast-talked. She would deal with that one quickly. He was way too much creepy. Once he was done, she would throw him out.

Severus had picked up that thought from her mind. "Oh, no, you won't do that. I'll stay here as long as I do need you. I have enough here in my pocket to buy you for the whole night."

A look of terror flickered in her blue eyes. She swallowed hard. "Don't hurt me…" she whimpered.

His features hardened. She sounded so much like Lorena ! "Too bad," he said. "I want that too. To hurt you." His tone, kept at a very low level, almost a murmur, was undeniably cruel. The soft yet dangerous tone he used to humiliate and terrorize his students. The girl tried to turn her head away – pretty much like Lorena did.

That sole gesture lost her. Severus pushed her onto the bed and pinned her there with his own weight, imprisoning her wrists between magical ties. The girl screamed but he put a hand on her mouth. "I need a woman. Too bad for you that you look so much like the woman that has just left me. I can't get my revenge on her yet, but in the meantime, you'll pay for her while I get satisfied with you !"

The girl was utterly frightened. The man on top of her was a Dark wizard, she was sure of that now. She was a Squib but she was not stupid. Maybe he was one of You-Know-Who's followers. He did not want to get undressed because of the Dark Mark he surely bore somewhere on his flesh.

With a move of his hand, Severus cast a silencing spell on the room, then a series of wards on the door. "Now, we won't be disturbed while I can use you. You may scream as much as you want, nobody can hear you. Nobody can come to your rescue either." His growling voice was both smooth and frightening. His mouth reached her neck for a kiss. She could feel his ragged, warm breath on her skin. Then suddenly, a sharp pain burst out there. Severus had bitten her, drawing a bit of blood. "I've marked you, you're mine now !" he said after licking the bite.

"Are you a vampire or what ?" she managed to spit. He had the look.

He had an evil laugh. She did not know what the gesture could mean for a wizard. Squibs were not educated in magical stuff. "No, I'm not. I'm not a werewolf either, don't worry. It's just that I enjoy… rough sex. Violent sex. In fact, that's the only way I enjoy it."

_Oh Merlin_, she thought. _A sick weirdo of a Dark wizard. That's my lucky night ! _Well, she had already had some men like this one. Dominants. Men that wanted to exact vengeance on their wives or girlfriends and that transferred that wish onto poor girls like her. Some of them, belonging to that last category, just burst out in tears in her arms, too much hurt or coward to go to the end. While dominant males went to the end but were not so violent – they could even be gentle in bed. Besides, she had nothing against a raunchy, even rough, ride. It could be pleasant. But she had the feeling that this man had not the same definition of 'rough' and 'pleasant' than she had. She could feel he was no coward either. He was deeply hurt, yet determined. He would not back off. She was just a Squib but her guts had never betrayed her.

"Don't hurt me, please…" she said softly.

Severus watched her with contempt. "Too bad. That's just what I intend to do to you. I enjoy violence during sex."

_No wonder she left him then_, she thought.

The skilled Legilimens he was had perceived her thought – unless it was his new contact telepathy abilities. Out of anger, Severus slapped her face violently. She shrieked. "You may scream all you have, nobody can hear you, silly girl !" He realized that she had thought the truth. A Squib indeed but not a stupid one.

Severus opened his trousers and let his stiff maleness out. The lovely naked girl writhing under him, his pent-up desire, his anger and lust for Lorena, the memories of the rapes and rough rides he had had with her, his wish to get revenge and vent out his frustrations, all this had made him hard. He was ready.

The girl glanced at him. She had already seen many men in her young existence but she had to reckon that this one was hung like hell. He was so huge he would lead her to hell – not to paradise.

Severus took her brutally, a grunt escaping his lips. He rode her with passion. He even tried to kiss her. She turned her head away but he grabbed her black, curly mane of hair rather roughly, so that he could catch her lips for a deep kiss. He usually never kissed prostitutes but this one… she looked so much like Lorena… He could not resist. He needed more than just sexual relief. He needed to possess the girl fully.

The girl writhed under him in pain, trying to get rid of his body. It just aroused his possessiveness even more. Though she was used to have sex with men even unprepared, this one was too huge to take, even for her. He was not gentle, not careful at all. It was not a rape, as she had consented to engage him against money.

Severus rammed in her roughly, plundering her body in a savage manner that made her moan out of pain – which seemed to excite him even more. Yet, his kisses were inebriating. He could kiss. Pity he was so brutal. She had a thought for the woman that had left him, that must have been treated the same way by this devil of a man. The girl had a second or two of compassion for that woman she would never meet. But she knew that she shared with her the misfortune to have encountered that Dark wizard that seemed to have come just straight out of Hell.

Severus broke the kiss, to lick her jaw line and neck. A few words escaped his mouth. "Oh, Lorena… you're mine… Lorena… mine… mine only… my Lorena…"

The girl suspected who that Lorena must have been. The woman that had left him. Out of experience, she knew that it was imprudent, even dangerous, to interrupt a man's fantasy. She said nothing, letting him do, trying to block out the pain she felt in her body. He claimed her lips again for a deep kiss. Then he stood up on his arms, breaking the kiss, thrusting in her harder and deeper, groaning and grunting loudly. The girl felt he was about to climax and hoped it would be soon – she felt really sore between her legs now.

Severus came loudly with the name of Lorena on his lips. Then he fell on the girl beneath him, burying his face in her raven hair, catching his breath. It had been so good – but he knew the girl was not Lorena. She did not dare move, lest he may turn violent against her again.

They remained as such for long minutes. Then she felt him removing himself from her. She sighed with relief – she was sure she was bleeding now. She let tears fill her eyes. The man had reminded her too much of that fateful evening when she had been raped. She had been fifteen only then and a virgin. How painful it had been ! She had hoped to never feel that pain again. Yet, tonight, that Dark wizard had just sent her back down memory lane – to a place where she had hoped to never come back. Yes, he had sent her back to Hell.

She turned her head away from his face, hiding her disarray from him. Should he notice, he would surely be brutal with her again. She felt one of his arms rounding her waist even closer. Again, she heard him whisper _her_ name.

"Oh, Lorena… Lorena…"

Talking now could be dangerous after all. There was worse than a Dark wizard – a distressed, brooding Dark wizard.

But what about a Dark wizard _in love_ ?

"You love her, don't you ?" the girl said softly. She could not say what had prompted her to speak. But her gut feelings told her she had to.

Severus raised his head from her hair to look at her. He did not know what to say. "Yes… I don't know… I think…" he fumbled with words. All cruelty, all harshness had disappeared from his voice. The girl perceived the dominating Dark wizard was just a desperate man. Desperately in love.

"I'll take that as a 'yes' then."

Of course, she was right. If he had felt nothing for Lorena, Severus would have never reacted with her like he had in the first place. He would not even have vented out his frustration and anger and lust on that young prostitute the way he had just had. Another innocent woman, pretty much like Lorena. A woman he had abused. He would not even have chosen a whore that looked so much like the woman… he loved. _Do I love you, Lorena ?_

Strange that it was a prostitute that had led him to _admit_ that conclusion. _Yes, I do love you, Lorena._

Sensing he had simmered down, the girl went on. "You do love her," she whispered with a soothing tone.

Severus stood on his elbows to look at her. He sighed. "Yes, you're right, I love her. I just didn't know it before…" He swallowed. "Before I came here."

"Sometimes, it's easier to confide in a stranger than in the people we know and love."

He had to reckon she was right. With a flick of his hand, he removed the charm that kept her wrists tied up. She let out a sigh of relief when she felt her arms free. She moved a bit to massage her wrists but Severus was faster than her. He caught her wrists, this time gently, to stroke them, whispering a healing charm on them, before kissing each of them tenderly.

He was no longer the same man. As if realizing his feelings for the woman he loved had transformed him. The girl was surprised. A Dark wizard that knew healing charms ? Not the usual Dark wizard stock, for sure.

She began to move under him, slowly first. "Sorry, sir, I need to…" Severus saw her wince. He removed himself from her. His gaze fell on her thighs. He spread her legs a bit, enough to see she was sore in between.

"I'm sorry," he said in a murmur. "Wait." He took his wand out of his left sleeve and mouthed an incantation above her thighs and belly. The girl felt a warm sensation of relief invading her body there. The pain receded and disappeared. Another healing charm.

"Thank you," she said gently. A Dark wizard yes, but a Dark wizard that could heal like that, could not be that bad after all.

_I hope he won't hurt her if he loves her_, the girl thought. _Unless he already had._ Severus picked up that thought – this time from his contact telepathy, as he was not looking at her in the eye. The girl's thought was relevant. But first, he had to get used to that notion. The notion of love. He had not felt it for a long time, since… _Lily_.

A tear ran down his cheek, unexpectedly. The girl noticed it and wiped it gently, without a word. Severus looked at her, a sad look on his features. The girl's blue eyes were filled with compassion – while he had felt none for her during the violent sexual intercourse he had imposed on her. The girl was good. She was a prostitute, she was a Squib, but she had a heart of gold, to the point of feeling compassion for a creature like him. How could that be ? How could she, a total stranger to him, give compassion to a brute like him ? Complete mystery…

Yet, her compassion reminded him of the love Lorena felt for him. Her undying, unconditional love. But no longer unrequited. Yet, a love he had lost now.

Severus rose from bed. He put on his usual mask of coldness on his face, once more unreadable. Yet, his dark eyes reflected a light that had never shone forth before.

The light of his soul that had managed to come back to the surface. At last.

He searched inside his pocket. He took out a purse full of galleons. He put it on the table nearby, in a silent movement. "Take it... Take it…"

The girl opened the purse and emptied it on the table. There must have at least 100 galleons there. He had not lied – with that amount, he could have bought her for the whole night indeed. She could not believe it : he looked like he was about to leave now.

"You may stay, you know. This is about four or five times my price and I don't have change to give back," she said. "You can get me three or four other times. Anything you want from me, I'll give it to you. For the whole night, if you wish."

Severus watched her carefully, locking his gaze with hers. The girl was like him – she wanted love, she needed love, she craved for love. He wondered if one day, Lorena's gaze would come back to normal, once the blinding curse was lifted. They could look at each other like that. He knew then that he would enjoy that. If he still could. If she still wanted him. If that war was over one day. If they both survived it.

"You may love me, if you wish," she said in an engaging tone, a smile on her lips. "Or if you need it. I can be… Lorena. If you love her, you may… love me."

All he wanted to do was to come back to Hogwarts. To Lorena. "No. I've abused you enough for the night." He paused. "You may keep it. All of it. You gave me more than sex, more than your body tonight." _You gave me back my soul. Well, sort of. _He did not elaborate on this, it would have been too long to explain and he did not wish it.

She nodded, aware of what he meant. She had helped him express his feelings for the woman he loved. Lorena had saved his soul, preventing it from being completely snuffed out, but this girl here had just helped the faint light of his soul to make it to the surface of his conscience.

"What's your name ?" he asked eventually.

She smiled. "I'm called Brigid. Like the goddess." A pause. "And you ?"

The Potions Master wondered if he should give his name, out of precaution. _To hell with that, the girl's been brave, she deserves her answer !_ "I'm Severus."

She came closer to him and caressed his cheek. "Then… good luck, Severus. Good luck to you and… Lorena." She stood on her toes and put a delicate kiss on his mouth, nibbling his lower lip gently, her tongue licking it and leaving its warm touch there. She smiled at him. Severus put on his cloak, took his wand out and removed the silencing spell and the wards he had set up in the room. Without a word, he left the place.

Once outside in the street, he checked around him that there was nobody. Then he focused on the Hogwarts gates for Apparition. Once there, he plunged a hand in his frock coat pocket. His fingers found a metal object. He got it out. The Snape medallion.

He sighed, contented, appeased. Not only from of the real good shag he had just had, but also because now, he may have a way to get Lorena back. He thought about her with all the might of his new found love. For the first time in ages, his eyes were full of hope and expectation.

Somehow, Severus felt the faint light of his soul grow stronger and stronger, becoming a fire blazing powerfully. A rush of unknown energy flowed through him, from his groin, up his back, his belly, to his chest and his heart. Warmth invaded his body, his mind, his soul – and it felt good. He thought about Lorena and saw himself making love with her again. He longed for her in his heart – not only lust for her in his body.

Then the jewel glowed in the dark, illuminating his hands and face with its faint yet warm magical light, as if reflecting his present state of mind and feelings. Severus fell to his knees in the grass and raised his dark gaze towards the starlit sky. "Thank you," he whispered, kissing the medallion still firmly clasped in his hands.

* * *

**_Imbolc night is January 31st. Brigid is the goddess associated with Imbolc, later as St. Brigid and Candlemas. Snowdrops and blackthorns are also connected to that festival. (Source : "Imbolc" on Wikipedia)._**

**_I hope I've kept Severus in character, with his violence, his possessiveness, his despair and his love._**

**_Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !_**


	97. In defense of Slytherin

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**97**** – In defense of Slytherin **

Lorena had joined Moody to his quarters again. She had brought her violin with her as usual. The instrument was a practical alibi. She had no place to play and the ex-Auror was a music lover.

Thing was, he was also _her_ lover.

She was prudent though. She did not wish to meet Severus in the corridors. Nor the students or the other staff. Therefore she went to Moody's place discreetly, a concealment charm on her person. In general, she left the Great Hall on her own. The other students thought she was bound to the library. Her reputation as a bookworm came in handy.

She had the password to his quarters. He had also taught her how to set up and disable wards, improving her skills in this regard. She entered quickly. He was not there yet, most likely still at the High Table with the rest of the staff. He had to be discreet too.

Lorena sat on the sofa there and began to play. She felt safe here. A fire burnt in the hearth. She could not see the place but she had the feeling that it was comfortable. Her mind wandered. Tonight would be the beginning of Imbolc – one of the eight magical dates in the year. A time associated with fire, candles and rebirth. It was said that this was a time of purification, from that moment on the power of the sun would begin to increase again.

Lorena thought that maybe the fire in her heart would be kindled again. January had been an awfully difficult time – largely because of Severus' temper and behavior with her. His nasty attitude gave her the impression she had fallen in a deep, dark night that was not to end, the exact contrary of what Imbolc was supposed to be. She sighed, her music reflecting her somber mood. Maybe Alastor would make her feel better.

Moody entered his quarters, welcomed by the sound of music. He knew he would spend a very enjoyable evening. Dinner had been excellent. Nobody had kept him for long after it, not even Dumbledore that liked a little chit-chat with him every now and then. His young mistress was here. Soon they would be in his bed together. Yes, the evening would be great.

She stopped playing, a smile on her lips. "Alastor ?"

He said nothing but grabbed her waist, putting a delicate kiss on the back of her neck. "That's me," he growled. "Ah, I've been waiting for that moment… for the whole week… my witch…"

She moved in his arms to face him. He captured her lips for a greedy kiss.

"How is that young man here ?" Alastor said while roaming his hand over her belly. She removed the Notice-Me-Not charm there.

"Growing fine. See ?" She was still amazed that he had accepted her with a child that was not his. But she had learned to know Alastor Moody. Though of pure-blood origin, he was not the kind of man to abide by prejudices such as blood status or out-of-wedlock pregnancies. In the Muggle world, he would have been labeled as a "liberal". Yet, Moody did not care. He was just too much happy to have a young, lovely witch that enjoyed sex with him, that he could pleasure. He was all the more ready to give her other children that would be his this time.

Alastor just loved her as such. He wanted her, aware that she formed a package deal with her baby.

A few minutes later, they were in his bedroom. For extra privacy, Moody had closed his bedroom door and warded it, as usual. His Floo had been connected to the Headmaster's office lately, on Dumbledore's request. Of course, Moody had become even more cautious. He would not appreciate to be disturbed when busy in bed with his young witch. He also cast a silencing spell on his room. He and Lorena were rather vocal during sex…

They were both in bed now. Moody was caressing her body while kissing her mouth with greed. He was already hard but he wanted her to have pleasure first. He wanted her to feel good in his arms. He was attentive to her least needs during lovemaking. On her side, Lorena responded to him beautifully, opening herself to him, letting him possess her in any fashion he wanted. He was a good lover, careful and imaginative.

Pretty much like Severus.

Save that Severus had not always been that careful, thinking of it. The Potions Master had a great deal of imagination too – Lorena had not forgotten the way he had "tortured" her in punishment. Or how he could possess her, body and soul.

_Why am I thinking about him ?__ Now ?_

Now Moody was bringing her to pleasure, his tongue on her womanhood, stroking expertly her clit. She began to express her pleasure. The image of Severus popped up in her mind. Severus doing her the same thing. She had to bite her tongue to prevent his name from passing her lips.

Thinking about him made her come faster.

Once he felt she had had plenty, Moody went on top of her, careful as to her belly. "I'm going to take you now, Lorena… I'll be careful…" He groaned while entering her, inch by inch. It was so good. "My love goddess… so hot, so wet, so…" His last words ended in a long grunt of his, while Lorena gasped when she felt him inside of her.

The image of Severus was still in her mind. He was making love to her now. _No ! Alastor is ! He's the man making love to me now !_

Yet, Severus' image was the strongest. She felt she was about to go over the edge.

_Severus… Severus… Severus…_ His name chanted in her mind, in her heart, in her soul.

Alastor felt he was about to come too. He could not hold it any longer and he pushed harder into her, groaning and grunting loudly. "Come for me, Lorena… come for me ! Now !" He screamed his own pleasure, spilling his seed in her.

Feeling him coming fueled her fantasy. Lorena let herself be drawn over the edge too, a name in her mind that made its way into her throat, her mouth, beyond her lips, while Moody was still thrusting in her. She surrendered in a deep scream that seemed to come from very far.

And it was. "SEVERUS ! Severus ! Severus…" Her pleasure was intense. His name died on her lips along with a moan. "Se… ve… rus…"

Alastor Moody loved to see her come like that. However, this time, he did not like what he had just heard. Still inside of her, he watched her with a puzzled look on his face. _Have I heard what I've just heard ?_

In fact, he had.

"Severus…" she whispered, as if she was about to die, giving up her last breath, surrendering her soul to the man she still loved, his name on her lips.

She remained motionless, relaxed, still in the fog of pleasure that she felt after a raunchy lovemaking. She did not even feel when Moody removed himself from her. He sat on the edge of the bed.

After a few minutes, Lorena came back to her senses. She had not felt Moody's presence nearby her. He usually remained coiled against her, savoring the moment of post-coitus bliss with her.

"Alastor ?"

"Here." There was an edge in his voice that warned her something had gone wrong. "I've let you enjoy that time with… _Severus_," he added coldly.

_Severus ?_ Then she gathered what had happened. Her lips parted. What she had dreaded that might happen, had actually happened. She had done it. _Damn._

"Oh Merlin…" she said softly, while sitting up in the bed. "Alastor… I'm sorry…"

"I think we need to talk, young lady."

Lorena knew he was right. She lowered her head in submission. "What do you want to know ?"

"Severus… Not a very common name, even in our world. I know only one person that bears that first name. And he's living right here, in this castle." His voice contained a hint of despise. "One Severus Snape." A pause. "Is it him ?"

Lorena had still her head lowered. Defeated. "Yes," she said softly. "It's him."

"Is he your father's child ?"

She nodded. "Yes, he is."

"So I can deduct he's the brutal wizard you talked to me about. The one that deflowered you and made you pregnant. The one that became brutal with you on learning about your pregnancy. The one that you had to marry." He snorted. "No wonder… The man's a Dark wizard, a patented Death-Eater, with the manners of his kind, despite what Albus Dumbledore may say about him." His voice dripped with contempt. "Is that true then ?"

She nodded again. How could she have botched it all up like that ?

"Now, Lorena, you have to tell me everything. I want to know !"

Lorena rose from bed and began to dress. She felt weak in front of him. Alastor was a powerful wizard. A man. She wanted to flee. But she had to admit that it would not be fair to him, after all he had done to her, with her, for her.

She felt his presence close. She turned towards him, facing him, and grabbed his arm. She even knelt in front of him. "Don't hurt me !" Her eyes welled up with tears, anxiety on her features.

"That was not my intention." Moody got her to her feet. "Lorena… Of all men, why Snape ? Why him, a notorious Dark wizard, a supposedly reformed Death-Eater ?"

"It's a very long story, Alastor."

"I have all my time. I had planned to spend it otherwise with you but…" His voice broke. "I don't mind a good bedtime story though. You'd better spill the beans, Lorena. Now !" His tone showed he would not let her go before she told him the whole truth.

She agreed. They sat together on the bed. She told him everything. The blinding curse cast on her by Voldemort. Her life threatened. Albus Dumbledore taking her away from the institution for the blind in order to protect her. Her being entrusted to Severus Snape for re-acquainting her to Hogwarts and testing her. For her protection. The plan Voldemort had for her, to take her elemental magic through a Dark blood magic ritual involving her virginity. Hence her affair with Severus, the man she had chosen to give it to her. Her attraction to him. Her feelings for him. The ritual. The lovemaking in the cave. The 'Draught Against the Unwanted Tomorrows'. Her saving his life with her elemental magic. His life debt to her. How their relationship had deteriorated since he had learned about her pregnancy. However, she did not mention his raping her at the beginning of the school year.

Alastor had listened to her carefully, very interested in the story actually. As an Auror, he had learned to listen to get all the information possible that may help him. A survival skill too, along with his keen sense of observation and his trademark 'constant vigilance'. That way, he realized that Dumbledore had not told him everything – that story of virginity ritual, for example. And what about that Dark blood magic ritual that Voldemort wanted to perform ? The old Headmaster would have a good deal to explain too.

"No wonder I had found you particularly powerful for an 18-years-old witch then. From what you just told me, you've gained some of Snape's abilities and powers, and I can tell you, the man's got some ! That explains what had happened in the Dueling class, remember ? The _Avada Kedavra_ against that ant. You've got his _killing_ powers." There was a hint of contempt and despise in his voice. Would the girl turn into a Dark witch eventually ?

She nodded. "There was something else I wanted to tell you some time ago, Alastor." She paused. "Since the day you began to talk about… marrying me."

"I bet you did," he said almost sarcastically. "What is it ?"

She took a deep breath. "The Unbreakable Vow."

"What ? Snape made you take… an Unbreakable Vow with him ?"

She shook her head vigorously. "Not him. The Headmaster."

"You mean… Albus Dumbledore compelled the both of you to make an Unbreakable Vow together ?

"Yes."

Alastor Moody knew his old friend could be as cunning and scheming as a Slytherin – but to that extent ? An Unbreakable Vow was not a matter to be dealt with lightly. _How he could have done that ? To her ? I'm going to have a word with him !_ "Albus Dumbledore compelled you to bond yourself with… a Death-Eater ?"

"Severus is not a Death-Eater ! Well, not deep down…"

"Oh, you're wrong, Lorena ! So wrong ! He is, deep down, he still is, believe me !" His tone had become animated. "Albus trusts him, he says he works on our side, spying on Voldemort for the Order of the Phoenix. I wonder how much all this is true though. I, for one, do NOT trust Snape." He watched her carefully. "You told me that you had been raped by your child's father. Did he rape you ?"

Lorena raised her head suddenly. She could not give Alastor the answer she had given to Dumbledore when the Headmaster had asked her the same question. She could not change the story she had told Alastor. The ex-Auror was no fool. Her Slytherin mind tried to find an intermediate solution. A plausible explanation. "He got… carried away by his passion and I… I just didn't want it at that moment. But he had not always been like that !" She was defending him !

"No, judging from the way you cried his name out loud when you came, no, I believe you !" Moody snorted. He paused. "Do you love him ?"

"Yes, I do," she said as if she was confessing a crime.

He got up, suddenly angry.

"Alastor ! I'm sorry !"

"Not as much as me." He swallowed hard. "We cannot go on like this together. I… I'm an old wizard, Lorena. An old-fashioned wizard." He sighed. "I love you and I want you wholly mine. I can't stay with you if you don't love me – if you don't want me. If you want another wizard, I can understand, especially a younger one. Even a wizard like Snape. But I can't stay with you in these conditions."

She nodded. If only Alastor realized how much he was like Severus ! Both old-fashioned, maybe. Both possessive, for sure. Except that Alastor loved her while Severus did not. Things was, she _loved_ Severus while she only _liked_ Alastor.

"If you can't choose between us, Lorena, I'll make that choice for you. I'm afraid our love affair ends here and now." That was final. His tone had become cold, very cold. Even icy. "I can share many things. But I don't share my woman. I let that to Death-Eaters ! Be careful, they do that among themselves. Snape will do the same… sharing you with his brethren !" he could not help saying with an almost sardonic tone.

She did not react to that last sentence and just nodded, tears rolling down her face. "I understand," she said softly.

"It's not fair to me, it's not fair to you and your child eventually."

"You're right." She wiped her tears from her cheeks.

"Lorena… I want you to know that I love you." His voice had changed – he was no longer sarcastic.

"I know, Alastor."

"But you don't love me. Not as much as… you love Snape."

"I can't lie to you, Alastor. I respect you, I like you very much…"

"But you don't _love_ me. You love _him_ !"

She nodded. He was right. She did not love Alastor as much as she loved Severus.

"I see. He'd better take real good care of you. Otherwise, there'll be hell to pay for him. Believe me, I'll see to that ! I'm a Dark wizard hunter. I have no scruples in sending him to Azkaban… or to Hell… where he belongs !" He paused. "Besides, Lorena, what are the three conditions of the Unbreakable Vow ?"

"Severus has to take care of me, protect me and ensure I'm safe. He has to take any measure to make sure that my powers never fall into the Dark Lord's hands, either from me or from my child. He will marry me to avoid me to be become destitute or outcast in our society as an unwed mother."

Alastor snorted. "You bet a protection ! In the very hands of a Death-Eater ! As for marrying you… I don't see him getting married !" These last words were to hurt her because he was hurt himself. He would not be the one to marry her.

"I tried to get free from that last condition of the Vow, Alastor ! Believe me ! You may ask Professor Dumbledore about it. I went to see him but he said that… it doesn't work like that." She did not wish to explain to him what she had explained to Severus in her farewell letter to him – it would be too long and she was too tired to fight.

"Albus is right. It doesn't work like that, Lorena. These Vows are not called 'Unbreakable' for nothing. Oh, I suppose also that in order to avoid to be killed by the Vow's magic, Snape would be ready to kill his own child, in case your son falls into Voldemort's hands for that Dark blood magic ritual !"

"He would be right then, Alastor ! Think of it, you sacrificed yourself so much in your fight against the Dark Lord ! Wouldn't you be ready to do the same ?"

"Lorena, you're right, I sacrificed parts of my body in that war against Voldemort and his gang of Death-Eaters. Sacrifice ! Indeed !" He snorted. "Sacrifice ! What do Slytherins know about sacrifice ?"

Lorena gasped at his words. She remembered when Severus had come back last Summer from a summon, dying. She had almost died to save his life. "Much more than you think, Alastor. You speak without knowing. We Slytherins are able to make sacrifices too !"

"Does that mean that you'd be able to sacrifice your own son yourself ? Or to let Snape kill him ?"

Her mouth opened but no sound made it out. His question was most relevant. "I don't know, Alastor. Honestly, I can't reply. I think nobody can beforehand. If… if we want the Dark Lord's downfall eventually…" Her voice was shaking.

"Lorena, what you just said… about your own son… is disgusting ! This is a Slytherin way of thinking !"

"I'm sure that Severus will do everything in his power to avoid to resort to that… killing his own son !"

"Slytherins fight for their own self-preservation, not that of others !" he snarled.

"You seem to forget I am a Slytherin myself !" she exclaimed petulantly. "You seem to forget also that I loath the Dark Lord as much as you or any other member of the Order do – even if I don't belong to the Order ! I have every reason to do so !" She paused. "Unless you think a Slytherin will never be up to par with a Gryffindor ?"

Alastor glared at her. "Usually I'm not into this House rivalry stuff, Lorena. Yet, I can make an exception this time. I have good motives to do so after all. Death-Eaters come from the House of Slytherin. I don't trust Snape, a Slytherin. I don't think he was truly reformed, despite what Albus may say about him. 'Once a Death-Eater, always a Death-Eater', so goes the saying, you know ! As for Voldemort… he was a Slytherin himself !"

"I know that about the Dark Lord," Lorena sneered. "I'm no fool !"

"You're no fool, Lorena, but listen to yourself ! You call Voldemort, the 'Dark Lord' ! As if you were his servant, like the other Slytherins are ! I think Snape has rubbed off on you too much already. Pity. Unless you're already Voldemort's servant ?" he sneered.

Lorena had to concede he was right somehow. Yes… she was the Dark Lord's slave indeed. _If only he knew I am related to Lord Voldemort…_ "Yes, I just caught the habit. So what ? And no, I'm not a Death-Eater. You noticed how bare my left forearm is when you were fucking me ! Sorry to disappoint you !" she lashed out at him. "Severus forbade me to say the Dark Lord's name in his presence. It makes him suffer through his Dark Mark."

Alastor snorted. "Of course ! Death-Eaters are forbidden to say his name. Only courageous individuals, like Albus Dumbledore or other members of the Order I know, dare say his name ! If Snape was really that brave and on our side, he wouldn't be afraid to say Voldemort's name, at least in our midst ! I understand he has to refrain from doing so in his Master's presence. But with us, with you, there's no point ! None ! That rests my case : he's not reformed, he's still a hard-core Death-Eater !"

"Maybe he doesn't want to get into the habit lest it may slip him one day in front of the Dark Lord, don't you think ?" Lorena pleaded for the Potions Master. "It could just cost him his life, don't you understand ?"

"No, all I understand is… he's just a coward !"

Alastor was really angry now. Lorena could sense his anger had nothing to do with House politics or the war against the Dark Lord. It was sheer frustration and jealousy vented out on her. She could not blame him though. Yet, she could not let him behave like a prat and say horrible things against her House and a man that had already taken – and still took – so many risks for the Order.

She realized that they were arguing about more than her lover. They were arguing about the Order's spy and Voldemort's spy – who happened to be the same man. The man she loved. She felt that the rivalry between the two men did not stop at her own person. It ran deeper, and for a larger matter than private, personal or sexual relationships. Alastor and Severus were rivals on many levels – levels she did not grasp entirely – she was just one of these levels. The ex-Auror had just given her a glimpse of the intense competition between the two men.

"No, you're unfair, Alastor, he's not, and you know it ! We Slytherins are courageous too, as much as Gryffindors are. We are brave but in a different way, that's all…"

"Then so be it, Lorena… if you feel better with your Slytherin brethren... Stay with them ! Stay with HIM ! Snape's a Slytherin. Albus is probably right about that Unbreakable Vow. You and Snape are a good match – a match made in Hell !"

She turned her face away, in front of his outburst. She knew he had temper. A short temper – pretty much like Severus. She could deal with that. Yet, his words had hurt her deeply. She could handle anger but not such violent and unfair words spoken against her House and the man she loved. She remained silent and finished dressing up. Once she was ready, she took her violin to leave the place.

"You're right, Alastor. Gryffindors and Slytherins cannot get along. I've spent five years here trying to belie this, thinking there must be a way to be at peace, even going against my… brethren, as you put it, while my position inside my House was already shaky because of my Muggle birth. But I was wrong indeed. Thank you for proving me that ! I've got nothing more to tell you !"

Alastor jumped in front of her as she was about to leave his quarters. He had just realized, from her words and looks, that he had really hurt her. Deeply. He wiped her tears but her eyes were about to water up again. Alastor took her in his arms and hugged her. "I'm sorry, Lorena, for shouting at you, in your condition… Blame that damn ebullient temper of mine !"

She tried to free herself from his arms. He let her go but before that he made a strange request. "Lorena, I don't want to part from you like that. Please, accept my apologies. Let me give you a last kiss. A farewell kiss. Please."

She was no longer in the mood for that. He had wounded her too much. He had been particularly unfair with her and with Severus. Severus, that had given already so much – and would still do so.

"No, Alastor. Forget it !"

"Please, Lorena ! I have too much respect for you to let you go like this. I apologize for my words against your House. I know, from students in the other Houses, that you try to patch up things between them and Slytherin." He stroked her cheek delicately. "Hurting you is the last thing I want, yet I did it."

She sighed. True, she did not wish to part with him in unfriendly terms. Yet, she was too much angry after him. The row they had just have was still hurting her deeply.

"I still want you, Lorena…"

"You want me for a good fuck, Alastor ? Is that all ?" This time, she was the one to hurt him with her sarcastic tone. He was right – Severus had rubbed off too much of his caustic personality on her.

"I love you," he simply said while disabling the wards of his door with a gracious movement of his hand.

"Apologies accepted," she said with a clipped tone on her way out.

She made it quick to go back to the Slytherin dorms. She had concealed her belly partially, as usual, but not the rest of her person. She could not care less if she got caught wandering in the corridors well after the curfew hour. She just hoped she would not meet Severus. One argument with one of her lovers had been enough for the day. She did not need another one with her other 'almost' lover. Especially after having defended him like she had had in front of Alastor Moody.

Fortunately, she managed to get back to the Slytherin common room without encountering anybody. She took a quick shower and slid herself into her bed, this time crying silently. She had left Severus and Alastor had left her. Now she was all alone.

But maybe, it was better as such. She could not live living a lie with Alastor after all. As for Severus… She still loved him, she had said his name during her orgasm with another man, he was the cause of her falling out with Alastor. But he was lost for her too. She had seen to that with the letter she had written to him. She sighed and cried silently. Her hands roamed over her belly. The only thing she had left was her son – the only remnant of her marvelous, lost love.

* * *

_**I have assumed that Alastor Moody belonged to the House of Gryffindor**__** and is a pure-blood wizard. It serves my plot now and in future chapters. I think it matches his ebullient and generous temper too.**_

_**All information about Imbolc can be found on the net – Wikipedia is a good source.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	98. Laughing for not crying

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**98**** – Laughing for not crying**

Lorena went to the Great Hall on the day after for breakfast. She had had a bad night, after the evening row with Alastor. As a consequence, most likely, Alan had been making riff-raff in her womb, maybe trying his magic inside his mother's innards. Not funny. Maybe it was just Mother Nature or whatever on high that prepared her for the short nights that would follow his birth…

She even wondered if she was meant to have a love life after all, the way things ended. The two love affairs she had had, had been blissful at the beginning, then things had deteriorated quickly, to end up as a sheer catastrophe.

_Maybe I should ask the Dark Lord if I could shackle up with him_, she thought derisively. Things have been catastrophic with him right from scratch. Either things improved dramatically with him – they could not be worse – either he could put an end to her misery with a well-placed _Avada Kedavra_. She chuckled out of derision. _Of course, with his projects for me, he would not. My dumb luck._

She sat on the first seat at the very end of the Slytherin table, just beside the doors. Usually, she sat at the other end, on the High Table side, so that Severus could keep an eye on her, as he had asked her to do so. But today, she did not care. She did not wish to be seen at all. She did not wish to be watched by Alastor Moody – he would notice that she had been rather upset by their last night row. She did not wish to be seen by Severus either – he would see at once that she had cried or whatever. No, she wanted to be left alone.

"Hey, Lorena, how are you doing ?"

She lifted her head as if she was waking up from some bad dream. She had recognized the voice. "Oh, Draco, good morning." She tried to sound fine, after all, he was not responsible for her brooding. She put a faint smile on her face.

"Fine, but you don't look so much."

Damn, she had not believed he could be that perceiving. Unless her distress could be seen a mile away. "Just happened to have had a bad night, that's all. Alan kept me awake for the better part of the night."

"Alan ? Oh…" he realized. "I thought you were talking about your lover or, should I say, your husband. No, you meant your baby."

His confusion made her smile. It was funny indeed. "Draco, you're a real friend. You just made a joke."

"That's the first one of the day and it's for you. Besides being the Slytherin sex god, I'm the funniest guy that ever graced these halls."

She giggled. Draco could be a prat but he was even funnier when he played the prat. "I know – for the funniest guy ever, I mean." Besides, she thought that there was another Slytherin worthy of that description of 'Slytherin sex god'...

"Come on, Lorena, you know for the rest too." He glanced around them. Nobody, too early for a Sunday morning. He came closer to her and whispered : "Remember that evening we spent snogging together ?"

She snorted. "Oh yes, vividly. Yet, I haven't tried the rest, so I can only vouch for you partially on this point."

He laughed heartily at the friendly banter. "Don't ruin my reputation, will you ? Please !" he said, a mock begging in his voice.

"Trust me, I won't."

"Though I could complete your information on this point, Lorena," he went on, this time his voice more serious.

"Don't joke about this, Draco. Look at me, with my belly, my impure blood. Oh, I forgot to tell you : I'm also a married woman. I think this would be too much to handle for a single man like you."

He laughed again. "You said the word, I'm a single man."

"Oh, you managed to get rid of Pansy ?"

"Yes, better be alone than badly accompanied. I tried to talk the giant squid into marrying her but the creature refused."

"I don't blame it."

Draco erupted in laughter this time. "Pity you are already married, Lorena. I would have married you just to have a good laugh with you at breakfast each and every morning."

"Thank you, Draco, maybe in another life." Lorena refrained from telling him that his parents would not approve as she was just a 'Mudblood'. Yet, they may accept after all as she was a distant relative now. It crossed her mind that Draco would be a far better friend than husband. "However, I'm glad to have you as a friend, Draco. So don't spoil it."

"You're right," the young man said while helping himself some pumpkin juice. He also poured some in her glass which he put into her hand.

"Oh, thanks, Draco."

They heard the typical sound of wings rustling in the air. Out of reflex, they both covered their glasses with their hands to prevent droppings and feathers to fall into them. Several years spent in Hogwarts taught you that.

A brown owl perched itself on Lorena's shoulder, between herself and Draco. The two students put their glasses back on the table, deeming the table safe for their drinks, now that the Slytherin table was no longer considered as an air strip for owls and other winged creatures that happened to enter the Great Hall to deposit mail.

"A letter for you," Draco said. "Let me help you get it, Lorena," he added while detaching the roll from the owl's leg. He gave her the roll while she managed to feed the bird with crumbs of bread. The bird hooted softly and left her shoulder.

"Thanks, Draco, for your help. Usually it takes me more time to get my mail. Fortunately, owls are very patient creatures."

She took her wand out and passed it over the roll. She was now used to cast the reading spell silently. Yet, she would always need her wand to read, no matter how gifted she could be with wandless magic. There were two words on it : 'From Daddy'.

"My father wrote to me." She bit her lip, a weight suddenly falling on her stomach. _He had promised to keep her posted about his parole._ "If you could excuse me, Draco, I'll be back in five minutes. Keep my place warm, please."

"Yes, I'll keep your eggs cold and your drink warm," he said jokingly.

Lorena giggled while patting his shoulder in a thankful gesture. She left the Great Hall. Once there, she leaned against a wall recess. She unrolled the letter after making sure that there was nobody around. If someone learned that her father may be free… he may be in danger.

_Beloved daughter,_

_I have great news for you. I was granted my parole ! I should walk a free man (well, almost) by the end of February. Only one more month to spend in the joint and then, gone ! _

_Lorena, I need your help : please could you contact the warden here as soon as possible, so that you could introduce yourself to him. I told them parole committee people that you would vouch for me. Basically, I already have my mother's house address. I just need to have a job but that's okay, I can set up a music teaching business or whatever. That's what I told the parole committee. They told me that they paroled me on account I had behaved in jail and my crime was not so horrible, so to speak. Makes me wonder why they put me in the maximum security wing in the first place then. Go figure._

_I think you should talk to Dumbledore about this so that he can arrange you to visit the warden. I know this is an inconvenience as you are at school and you know how much I hate to interrupt your schooling, even for __one day. But your old father asks you this great favor of you, my daughter. You're the only thing I have left as a family. I'm sure your Headmaster will understand._

_Lorena, my beloved daughter, how __much I long to hug you, you can't imagine. I also long to put a red rose on your mother's grave. I still miss her awfully. There was not a single day I spent without thinking about her and you, of course !_

_Take real good care of yourself and reply to me quickly that you won't let me down. You're my only hope to see the light again !_

_Your (unworthy, no-account, poor excuse of a) father.  
__Georges Lord Nottingham_

Lorena smiled at the trademark signature of her father. She read the letter another time again, just to convince herself that the news were real, that she had not imagined them. The weight on her stomach had not been lifted with these news. On the contrary. _Another beloved one to take care of and worry about._

Of course, she would talk to the Headmaster. She folded the letter and slid it in her school robe pocket. She came back to the Great Hall. Draco was still there, eating quietly. She sat at her place.

"So, good news from your father ?" he asked, glancing at her thoughtful face.

"Oh, yes, still his usual charming self. I mean it." She would not say a word about his next release.

"Still in jail ?"

"Oh, yes, more than ever at Her Majesty's service, breaking stones, like he says." She giggled. "No, forget that part, he's still in jail but he doesn't break stones."

"They don't do that in Azkaban either," the young man said.

_No, but I prefer my father to be where he is now than in Azkaban._ "I've heard they don't have the same type of room service in Azkaban than in Muggle jails."

"No, not really." Draco's voice had dropped low ; it had lost its joyful quality. She perceived it.

"Let's talk about something else, please. He's okay, so I won't mess up the jolly mood you put me in earlier, Draco. I don't want to spoil the jolly mood I put you in earlier either."

"No, you're right."

They went on eating, chatting over lessons and gossiping over teachers and the other students, in particular those from the other Houses. He gave her the last news about the Quidditch Cup, that Slytherin was in second place just behind Gryffindor, yet the House still maintained its chance at win the Cup this year – for the third year in a row.

"Professor Snape will be in a good mood then," Lorena commented. "That would be a change. If we do not win the House Cup this year, with the mood he is in at the present time, he's going to kill us all."

"Yes, I hope we will, because since we came back from the Christmas break, he's been in a foul mood like I've never seen him before. And I've known him almost all my life, he's my godfather after all. I really wonder what has gotten into him lately."

"Yes, I noticed," Lorena said simply. She knew what had gotten into the Potions Master. "Maybe he should get a wife."

"My godfather ? Marrying ? Oh no, not the type. But if he needs to grease his pole, well, he should do it instead of venting out his bad mood on us. There are women that provide this kind of service."

"Maybe your godfather is not the type of man to buy this kind of service," Lorena said flatly. She knew this was not the case. Severus may have not bought a woman in ages but he had had in the past. Maybe he would not resort to buying a woman – he would take one, whether the woman consented or not. Rape was free after all.

Draco was not convinced. He knew his godfather too. "Not a motive to make our lives a living hell, especially to us. I've heard that he had even put some second-year Slytherins in detention."

_Whoa, this must be serious_, she thought. "Really ? That's the first time I hear him put someone from our own House in detention. I know he can be harsh with us but not to that point." That was not true – he had already put her in detention.

"And that's not the end of it," Draco went on. "We lost 30 points last week ! He docked Slytherin 30 points on account of various potions that got botched up by three fourth-year Slytherins. So I heard."

At this stage, Lorena wondered if she had better come back to Severus before he depleted their House of all its points. Points that most of the time were earned by Draco and herself and a few others in their respective classes as Slytherin top students. She realized then the purchase she had over the Potions Master. The usually collected Professor let himself be dominated by his passion and despair for… _For me. Oh Merlin ! _That power scared her suddenly.

"I think you're right, Draco, he should really do something about having a woman for himself."

"I need to work on that," the young man said thoughtfully. "Actually, we are several in seventh-year to think about it."

"You mean… plotting ?" Lorena knew better. "I don't think this is a good idea though, Draco. You know him better than me but I'm under the impression that he's a very private man. He won't tolerate such an intrusion, especially from students, even from his own House, even if the intent is for his well-being. It could end up in general disaster for our House. We may even finish with negative points if that is possible. Or detention, for all of us Slytherins, till the end of times."

"I'd be gone from Hogwarts before," Draco said.

"Then he will report your detention onto your kids when they set foot here, Draco. Think of that."

"Oops, you're right, knowing his capacity to hold a grudge for a long, long time… No, not a good idea indeed. I won't deprive my heir from the best education because of a silly story of detention."

"So the point is moot. That leaves us with basically only one possibility."

"And that is, Lorena ?"

"Bow our heads, be patient and take the brunt of his wrath like typical Hufflepuffs."

Draco hit his forehead with his palm. "Oh no, Lorena, not that ! Where has your Slytherin pride gone ?" he asked mockingly.

"Down the drain with the rest of our House points, I guess. Better laughing than crying."

They did that indeed. They finished their meal trading jokes about their Head of House, albeit gently, while mocking the other Houses – less gently yet still in a witty, Slytherin-like manner.

* * *

Draco left Lorena at the breakfast table as he had finished faster than her. She did nothing to keep him with her. She had a personal plan in mind that she needed to carry out as quickly as possible. She needed to see the Headmaster. She would go and see him to his office – she had nothing else to do. The matter of her father's safety was top priority.

Thinking of it, Lorena wondered if she had better tell her Head of House first. Severus was in a foul mood, yet he would be worse if he learned that she had not come to him first for this kind of matters. Thing was, she did not wish to see him.

Of course, she went on feeding her Love-Snakes with her love for him. It had been particularly difficult on the first days that followed her giving him her farewell letter and his medallion back. Then she had settled into a routine. She fed the Love-Snakes because she felt responsible for them, like with a child. After all, Alan was Severus' son yet she would take care of him, no matter what. No matter if the child was the spitting image of his father. _Maybe he won't be. Maybe he will just look like me. Oh, well, never mind, I'm blind !_ she scolded herself. Nonetheless, she did not wish her son to look like his father on a psychological level. She would bring him up so that he did not end up being the violent man his father was.

Now, she did no longer wish to go and see the Headmaster first. The old wizard would ask questions as to why she had not gone and talked to her Head of House first. No, she would not want Albus Dumbledore to know about her breaking up with Severus.

Of course, she had no way to know that the Headmaster knew already about all this, when he had saved Severus from himself on that fateful day after she had given her farewell letter to the Potions Master.

No, she would have to talk to Severus first. No need to worsen her own situation with him. She thought about the future. Their future, to them all three. Provided they would all survive that crazy war.

She would have to have to maintain a minimum of a civil relationship, for their son's sake. Alan would need his father – she knew first hand what it was to be deprived of one's parent – despite what his father was. After all, her own jailbird of a father was not exemplary either. _My father never killed anybody !_ Most likely Severus would like to have a say in his son's education, above all his magical education, especially if the child promised to be a powerful wizard. Lorena was not very happy about Severus' involvement in Alan's upbringing – she feared his bad influence on her son.

_And what about the Vow ?_ She was not sure if the theory she had read was true. She would not risk Severus' life to verify it. So she may have to marry him eventually. _He could just give me and his son his name and that's all. I won't even ask his money to support us. I can find a job as a musician or music teacher or whatever._ She was aware that this was not a stable, income-generating career. Besides, as long as the Dark Lord was there, a living threat to her, she would not be able to live on her own, with her son, in her grandmother's house, for example. She may just end up like Cassiope Gaunt – well, except that it may be in a far more gruesome fashion than a mere _Avada Kedavra_.

The future was grim on more than one aspect. Marrying Severus was one of them. The man may marry her and just take from her what a husband was entitled to receive from his wife. He may marry her and take away their son from her, for Alan's protection and well-being. He may deem her unable to raise him. Her disability would be ground enough, a Wizarding court may rule in Severus' favor after all. She had heard a Muggle-born was no match against a pure-blood or even a half-blood – be him a Death-Eater.

_Severus is not a Death-Eater._ _And I'm not a Muggle-born either. I'm a quarter-blood. _She could prove she was a half-blood but she was not sure it would prove an asset for her to be kin with the Dark Lord. Disclosing that kind of information now may prove unwise after all.

She felt taken between a rock and a hard place, so to speak.

Lorena's steps had led her to the Slytherin area. She sat on a bench in a corridor recess at the entrance of the dungeons. She wiped the tears that threatened to spill on her cheeks. _Better cry before than after, because after is too late_, she remembered what her father said. _Better not cry in front of _him_ either._

She took out her father's letter and read it again, as if to draw more strength from his elation. He was so enthusiastic at the notion of his freedom. _Is he aware that as soon as he walks free, he may be a dead man ?_ No, obviously not. Otherwise he would have never applied for a parole. She had to protect her men – her son and her father. And of course, Severus. She could not forget him.

Her father's letter carried good news – it did not mean it was, at least from her point of view. She was happy and worried at the same time for him. There was nothing much she could do at the time being. Except go and see her Head of House – and 'almost' lover – for his help in this matter.

Lorena sighed. She got to her feet and went downstairs that led her inside the Slytherin area. To the Potions Master's office. And to her fate.

* * *

Lorena braced herself in front of Severus' office door. What would be his present mood ? A killing mood ? How would he react when he saw her at his door ? Would he think she was there to make amends ? Would he reject her ? No, she was sure he would not reject her request as a student. He was way too much intelligent for that. She had to bet on his intelligence and sense of duty towards the students of his own House.

She had been pondering all this for about ten good minutes or so when she made up her mind. She was about to knock at his door when she heard a voice she would have recognized among a thousand.

"Well, Miss Nottingham, I suppose you managed to make up your mind as to whether you should come and see me ?" he sneered.

She turned around towards the sound of his voice. "Yes, Professor," she said with a submissive tone, her eyes lowered. He must have watched her from a distance for quite some time.

Severus had indeed. He had seen her read a piece of paper. He had read indecision on her face. He had not tried Legilimency on her as she would have detected his intrusion. She was far too skilled at Occlumency now, besides her telepathic abilities, not to feel such a meddling in her mind. He had noticed her nervousness, her pacing in the corridor, to conclude that something was eating her. He highly doubted that this was a Potions or D.A.D.A. class matter. He had been so much horrible with her in class this month that he did not think she would come to him for extra clarification in this regard. Maybe remorse for her letter ? Maybe… he looked at the piece of paper – not a parchment – in her hand. Muggle paper. Maybe she had received word from her father.

"Well, follow me inside. I suppose you do not wish to discuss the matter in a corridor. Unless you have nothing to say. In that case, I suggest you should spend your time in far more profitable activities – what about the library ? Or may I suggest a lonely classroom where you could be on your own to exert your unrelated school talents, whatever that may mean as far as you're concerned."

His voice was dripping with cruel sarcasm. Lorena felt insulted but she needed his help too much to retort to him now. She followed the advice she had given Draco earlier during breakfast. _Lower your head, be patient and take the brunt of his wrath._ Surely not a Slytherin attitude but a good Slytherin approach nonetheless, in terms of eventual outcome. She had noticed that being submissive to such a Dominant male like Severus was a far better tactic than direct confrontation and rebellion. These would lead her nowhere and she needed to make progress on the issue that mattered most to her now. Her father's safety. The ends justified the means after all.

So she let him insult her with his sarcasm and followed him inside. As long as he helped her… She braced herself, aware he may even be less pleasant within the confines of his office, out of sight, than in the corridor.

"So what is it you wanted to talk to me, Miss Nottingham ?" he asked coldly. Still his usual charming self.

"This, Professor. I received a letter from my father. I don't know if the Headmaster has read it or not already. You're aware that the mail sent to me by my father from his Muggle jail arrives into his hands first, yet I know he doesn't read it. He just forwards it to me and…"

"I'm perfectly aware of that little arrangement, Miss Nottingham !" he cut her off. "I don't have all the time in the world, so come to the point quickly !"

Lorena took a silent breath to remain in control of herself. She bit her lip and just handed the letter over to him. "Then please read, Professor," she said coldly.

Severus watched her carefully and took the letter from her hand with a brisk gesture, a scowl on his face. Her empty pale gray eyes were trained in front of her, facing him but she seemed to see through him, as if he were transparent. A ghost. He knew she did her best to control her emotions. She managed to do so – so far.

He read her letter with attention. She trusted him to the point of letting him read something as personal as a letter from a father to his daughter. He even let a tiny smile curl his lips when he read her father's signature. The man had a sense of self-derision that was not so that different from his own.

He was touched for a second or two when he read her father's wish to put a rose on his late wife's grave – he still seemed to love her. Even after all these years. Severus knew that grieving and mourning took a lot of time. Sometimes a whole lifetime.

"Does someone else know about this ? I mean, here ?"

"No, I just received it this morning, at breakfast. Draco Malfoy was with me but I excused myself from the breakfast table to read it alone."

" 'Constant vigilance', if I may say," he said with an ironic tone. "I can see that Professor Moody has taught you other things than… good manners in bed."

Lorena was no fool. She was perfectly aware that he tried to provoke her. She did not take the bait and remained silent, her eyes still trained in front of her in her usual blind stare. She made her face as unreadable and expressionless as possible. Inside, she had half a dozen of scathing replies that burnt her tongue but she deemed wiser to keep shut. _My father, I want my father safe._

Severus saw that his attempt had failed. She had more cold-blood than he would have thought, given the circumstances of their situation and the innuendo he had just made. This woman would not cease to amaze him. She was strong, maybe as strong as he was, if not more.

"Did you talk to the Headmaster ?"

"No, not yet, I thought you'd want to know first. You're my Head of House and you had asked me to keep you posted about my father's parole."

She was right. He would have felt insulted if she had seen Dumbledore first instead of him. _Good move, Lorena_, he thought.

"Well, I guess we should go and see the Headmaster now. Maybe there's something he can do for your father after all."

She seemed to wake up from her blind stare. A look of panic passed on her features quickly. "Professor, will you…" Her voice betrayed her. For a short moment, he could feel all her anguish over the only family she had left. For a short moment, he let his feelings for her come to the surface. He had played enough with her and her feelings. She had been the one to come to him first, she had been strong, she deserved a reward. He took mercy on her.

"Help him ?" he finished for her. "No. I leave that to the Headmaster. He will help your father. I will only help _you_."

* * *

_**I love playing with Draco Malfoy. I think he has an almost endless capacity to be funny and make us laugh. **_

_**I hope to have kept Severus in character in this chapter with his sarcasms and nasty innuendos towards Lorena.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! **__**Reviews are what feed the muses… and they are hungry.**_


	99. I will do anything

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**99**** – I will do anything !**

Lorena and Severus were now in the Headmaster's office. The old man was to come in a few minutes. They stood close to each other, in complete silence. Severus still had George Nottingham's letter in his hand. Lorena had not claimed it back. She trusted him.

Albus Dumbledore arrived a few minutes later. He watched the pair in front of him. They were not a couple, yet they did not seem to be angry at each other any more. He did not know anything of the affair going on between Lorena and Moody – well, that used to go on. He did not know that Severus had gone out of the castle one evening to buy himself a woman in order to release his pent-up sexual drive. He did not know anything about the evolution of their respective feelings for each other.

The Headmaster greeted them and asked them the reason why they were here. Severus just handed him the letter. Albus took it and read it carefully.

"I see. Your father's going to be free shortly, Lorena."

"Yes, Professor. That means he will no longer be safe." The request in her voice was obvious. She had come to fight for her father's safety. She had even managed to take upon herself to talk to her Head of House – and former lover – to get to that.

_So Slytherin. The ends justify the means, as usual_, Albus thought.

"Yes, you're right, Lorena. Thanks for advising us. I'll see what I can do for him."

Lorena felt at a loss by his somewhat brisk manners. She had a sudden, unexpected gesture. She knelt down in front of the Headmaster, her both hands in a praying gesture to him. "Please, Professor ! Protect him ! He's the only family I've got !"

Albus glanced at Severus, a puzzled look on his wrinkled features. The younger wizard's face was still unreadable, yet he had been surprised inside of him by her move. Albus took Lorena by her arms to get her to her feet.

"Please, Professor… I'll do anything ! But please, protect him !"

Severus lowered his gaze. The scene reminded him of a younger man, in his early twenties, that had begged for a beloved one's life in a similar fashion. He had also promised _anything_. His plea had just earned him a second master… and a first Unbreakable Vow. He wanted to tell Lorena that she should be careful in making such suggestions…

"But that was my intention, Lorena. The Order won't leave your father unprotected. We just have to think of a plan to arrange all this. However, any plan will require that your father be told everything about his ancestry. Everything that you discovered, has to be told to him, so that he may accept the protection we may offer. Anything ? No, I won't ask that of you. But I'll need your help in informing and convincing him that he'd better follow our plans."

Her empty pale gray eyes were trained in his direction. "Anything you need me to do… I will."

"Good. I know I can rely on you. Now, we need to speak about all this."

"Oh, thank you, Headmaster !" she said with a relieved look on her face. Then turning towards Severus : "Thank you, Professor, for helping me."

Severus said nothing in reply, his gaze staring at her as if he was about to devour her. This alone intrigued Albus. _Has he realized how much he loves her ?_ "Severus, my boy, let's sit down, grab a chair for Lorena, will you ?"

The Potions Master snapped out of his stare. An emotion passed over his features but it lasted a few seconds only. His face regained his usual unreadable composure quickly. He took a chair and guided the young woman to it.

"The first issue we have is the request your father made to you. He needs you to contact the jail director. You'll have to accompany Lorena, Severus. I would have gone with her, she would have been as safe with me than with you. Yet, you cannot afford to disobey the order Tom gave you. Therefore, you shall go with her. That's for the first part."

Lorena nodded.

"What about the second part ?" the Potions Master asked.

"I asked Kingsley Shacklebolt to explain to me that system of parole enforced in the Muggle world. The parolee, George Nottingham here, has to provide a valid home address, someone to vouch for him and a promise of a job or even better, a job contract. We'll be able to provide all of this. Yet…" He paused, suddenly uncomfortable. "We'll need to convince George Nottingham that the freedom he will gain won't be exactly the idea of freedom he may entertain now."

"Wouldn't it be more logical if you try to convince him first of your plan and then, we can go and see the prison warden to give him the information you would have provided us with regarding his whereabouts ?" the Potions Master asked.

"I thought about it, Severus. Yet, I decided against. We'll have better leverage over your father, Lorena, if we can present him with a perfect plan, already entirely set up."

Severus raised an eyebrow. Lorena's face was trying to process his words. Albus went on in his explanation. "The official address will be Kingsley's – he has agreed to. The person to vouch for him will be you, Lorena, his own daughter. As for the job… I think I found him a contract as a music teacher in a school in London."

"A school in London ?" This time, Severus was puzzled. "A real job ?" Lorena turned her face towards Severus – she was surprised too.

"Yes and no. I know a wizard that runs a private school for wizarding kids of pre-Hogwarts age. His school is registered by Muggle authorities as a private institution. He will help me get that contract in this regard, I've already talked to him about this. It'll be plausible enough, as her father is a musician." He paused. "Do you think I would give him a contract to teach in a school that is not supposed to exist, namely Hogwarts ? Whereas with the other institution, the jail people may enquire, there'll be no problem."

That was clever indeed. "Tell me, Albus, you said 'no'. What is the other part of the plan ?"

"That'll be the most difficult part of it. He may not like it but we have no other choice regarding his safety. I've told you that we will give Kingsley's address as his official home address. Of course, he won't live there. There's only one place, except here and Gringotts, that is safe for someone in his position."

Severus smirked. He glanced at the young witch. "Of course, I'll let you tell her about it. You're the Secret-Keeper of the place."

Albus smiled. " Indeed. Lorena, we'll accommodate your father at No. 12 Grimmauld Place, in London. Keep that address in mind but do not disclose it to anybody else."

"Twelve Grimmauld Place ?" Lorena enquired.

"The Order of the Phoenix headquarters. The third safest place in Wizarding Britain, after Hogwarts and Gringotts, I can assure you. Your father will be safe there. The house is unplottable."

"Has Black agreed ?" Severus asked eventually.

"I haven't asked him yet but I'm sure that Sirius will. He won't be alone any more and I think he'll be happy with that arrangement." He paused. "Besides, it'll be more practical. You see, parolees have to go to a police station to report on a weekly basis. Otherwise, they may forfeit their parole and will have to go back to jail."

"Maybe he should just do that and go back to jail indeed," Severus snarled. "Where he's safe."

Albus sighed. "Severus… my boy… don't be so harsh…"

Lorena interfered. "No, Headmaster, that's fine. Professor Snape's right."

The Potions Master was surprised. He had not expected that reaction from her. _Has she grown to accept the truth ?_

Albus sighed. Almost relieved. He had expected she would have reacted petulantly or at least with an annoyed look on her face. "I understand your remark, Severus, but one of the Order's missions is to protect witches and wizards from the Death-Eaters as much as we can. George Nottingham plans to return to his mother's house – where she had been most likely murdered. That means that the Death-Eaters know about this house already. That means your father, Lorena, will be an easy target if he remains there. My job is to convince him not to go back and live there, but instead to follow us at 12 Grimmauld Place." He sighed. "You see… that means that your father will have to remain inside the house until further notice. He will go out only to report to the police station for his parole, and accompanied by members of the Order for his safety."

His words were met with silence. "It means… he will have to be like a prisoner inside that place," she said. "Not his exact idea of freedom indeed. He sounded so enthusiastic to be out." She sighed. "He won't be that easy to convince but I'll help you on this if you need."

Albus smiled at her. "I've got no doubt on that. He will have to be convinced though." The daughter would be his most useful tool to convince the father.

Another silence. Lorena bit her lip, already thinking what arguments could be used to convince her father to get locked up again – though in another place, in other conditions. "I'll help you with that, Headmaster," she repeated. "I'll think about what leverage to use to convince him."

_How Slytherin__ of you_, Severus thought. "That makes sense indeed. Yet, I just meant that the man is to change jail, that's all. He won't be able to get out of the damn house, he'll be a prisoner inside like Black is already. How can you manage that ? Black is enough to handle there !"

"Severus, I know you don't like Sirius…"

"You should say I loathe him !"

"Yet, thanks to him, the Order has a safe place for headquarters," the Headmaster went on, unfazed by the interruption. "Your remark just inspired me : I'll ask Sirius to take care of him. He'll feel a bit more _useful_."

Albus had insisted on this last word. He knew that Severus had already mocked Sirius' forced inactivity in a ferocious fashion. The former prisoner of Azkaban, still considered as a criminal at large, was virtually imprisoned between the walls of his parents' home, a house he did not like as it reminded him of too many bad memories.

"Your assignment, Severus, is to lead Lorena to the prison warden with the elements I just gave you. Lorena, you'll explain that to the jail director, so that we may ensure a swift transfer of your father from them to us. I'm sure you'll carry this out with flying colors, Lorena."

"Yes, Headmaster," she replied. Severus just nodded.

"Good. Leave the rest to me. I think I'll need your help though, but we'll see in due time. I'll write to your father about the work contract so that he won't be surprised if he's questioned by the jailhouse director about it. Yet, I want you, Lorena, not to talk about all this. As I said, leave that part to me. At this point, do not contact him anymore. If you go to the jailhouse, do not try to talk with him either."

Lorena was surprised. "But, Professor, why not ?"

"He'll be locked up in a house, Lorena. Not exactly his idea of freedom, like you said earlier. You promised me to do _anything_ so that I could help your father." A pause. Dumbledore was aware Lorena's father may not be that easy to convince. "That does include your keeping silent when I require it. You won't contact your father, you won't talk to him either, until further notice. For his own good. Leave the task of convincing him to me. I may need you later for that, I must think about it. In the meantime, just do as I say. Do I have your word ?"

Lorena nodded. "Yes, Headmaster, you have my word I won't contact my father until you allow me to do so."

"Excellent. Thank you. You may both leave now."

Sometimes, Albus Dumbledore looked like a general on a battlefield, directing his troops into the appropriate directions, according to a strategy that only he knew. Severus knew he was manipulated somehow but he could not do otherwise. He had promised _anything_, to the old man long ago. Long ago, yet, he could still feel the sting of the magic of the Unbreakable Vow he had taken then with the Headmaster.

* * *

_**Showing how manipulative Albus Dumbledore can be – even for the good cause. More to come about the interaction between Lorena and her father. And of course, about her interaction with Severus.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	100. Intentions

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**100**** – Intentions**

Severus and Lorena left Dumbledore's office together. They were silent but that silence was not uncomfortable. He still had his hand on her elbow to guide in the corridors. Lorena let him do.

Severus had decided that he would get her back. No matter what. She was _his_. She carried _his_ son. He was bonded with her through the virginity ritual, the Unbreakable Vow and the life-debt he owed her. Of course, he knew nothing about the break up between Lorena and Alastor. He was not even sure if the two had been together recently, or at least since term had resumed. He strongly suspected it but had no evidence thereof.

He just wanted her. Especially since he had realized his feelings for her. Since he had bought that young prostitute and understood the extent of his love for the young blind witch now walking at this side. Yet, how he could convince her of the true nature of his feelings for her ? After every thing he had done to her ? After the farewell letter she had given him, that had sealed their separation ? His Slytherin mind set into motion for a new scheme of his that would bring her back to him eventually.

Maybe a bit of care and attention was in order. "Miss Nottingham, this is the end of the month. When is your next physical ?" he asked softly. The corridor was devoid of any human presence, except for them. They could speak without having someone eavesdropping.

She seemed to have left to that unknown world of hers for a few seconds. She came back to reality. "Sorry, Professor ?"

"I said this is the end of the month. When is your next physical ?"

"Oh." She seemed to make an effort to remember. "Actually, Ms Pomfrey told me that I could show up any day and time around that period. In fact, I had planned to get there tomorrow evening, after class."

"Good. I don't want you to miss this kind of appointment." He had tried to sound stern but Lorena detected something in his voice. Something like… _Care ? Attention ?_ She was surprised but did not show it. "When do you finish tomorrow ?" he asked.

She was surprised by his question. He really intended on coming with her. "At six. After Herbology."

"Alright, you'll come back directly to my office. We'll Floo from there to the Hospital Wing." His tone told her there was nothing to discuss.

"Yes, Professor," she said softly, in a very submissive tone.

He led her back to the dungeons where their ways separated. She went to the Slytherin common room while he was to enter his office. But before doing so, he watched her till she had disappeared, longing written all over his face, his dark eyes glowing with desire.

* * *

The Herbology class had just ended. Lorena packed up as quickly as she could. She put her bag on her shoulder, finding it heavier than usual. She had to reckon she began to feel tired. She had just ended her sixth month. Once ready, she left the class with the other Slytherin girls that led her back inside the castle. Some went back to their common room, others had decided to make a detour by the library. Lorena knew better.

She did not wish to make Severus angry while he had tried to be civil, even… careful, with her and her son. She lagged behind so that she could be alone once in front of his office door. She knocked at his door. He opened it directly a few seconds later – he was waiting for her obviously.

He made sure there was nobody in the corridor that may have spotted her entering there. Not that this would look suspicious but he was more and more watchful. Once he was sure, he closed the door behind her.

Lorena was staring in the void in front of her. He looked at her while taking her bag without a word from her shoulder. She looked tired. "How's school ?"

"Fine, just a lot of going on. Otherwise, I'm fine."

He was not convinced – she looked tired. "Alright. Leave your school stuff here, you won't need it." He also removed her cloak. The Herbology greenhouses being outside the castle, students had to go out and wore their cloaks and scarves and other stuff to keep them from freezing while they crossed the patch of ground leading them to the greenhouses. She also discarded her green-and-silver scarf.

Then he took her elbow to guide her towards the grate. "You'll go first, Ms Pomfrey's waiting for us. I follow you right behind." He took a handful of Floo powder and threw it in the grate. Green flames appeared. He pushed Lorena gently while saying "Hospital Wing !" forcefully. He threw some for himself and joined her there.

Poppy had been waiting for Lorena and had welcomed her out of the grate there. A few seconds later, Severus stepped in. The medi-witch was surprised to see him – he had informed her of Lorena's coming but not that he would come too.

They greeted each other. Poppy asked him if he was fine, he enquired if she needed any potions to be brewed for her stores. That was his way to avoid a question – Poppy did not insist, she knew him too well. She told him that she had enough for the coming month for the basic potions against colds, pains and the like. He nodded.

Poppy led them to her office and exam room. If students came to see her, they would not stumble upon the pregnant young woman and the Potions Master.

"You look tired, Lorena," the medi-witch commented while looking at her face.

"I feel a bit tired but otherwise I'm fine. I guess that's normal. I'm about to enter my seventh month after all."

"Yes, you're right. Oh, Severus, if you could wait outside…"

"No. I'm here because this is also about _my_ child." _And my woman. The woman I love._

His tone was final. Poppy was surprised and it showed on her face for a few seconds. She had not expected he would be that eager to follow up. Lorena was surprised too but she did not show it and kept her eyes lowered. Either he was here to make her feel shameful or whatever. Or… unless there might be another reason. She had to admit she was curious to know.

Lorena was ordered to get undressed. She obeyed silently, unfazed by Severus' presence. After all, he was probably the only person in the whole world to know her body so thoroughly. Not even doctors or Healers knew her as much as he did. Not even Poppy Pomfrey. Slowly, she removed her school robes, the surcoat she had on to keep her from cold (and conceal her baby bump too), her gray sweat, her Slytherin tie, her white shirt, the long black skirt. So there she stood, in her stockings and undergarments, so weak, so vulnerable.

Yet, so strong too.

She had concealed her pregnancy by casting the Notice-Me-Not charm on her clothes, not on her belly – as per Minerva's recommendations. Severus was surprised by how much she had become big in one month only. She really showed now, once free from her clothing and from the charm.

He took her arm and helped her lie on the examination table. He was moved by her beauty – she was gorgeous. Her pregnancy made her beautiful. He was about to tell her so when Poppy came back into the room and closed the door.

"So how's that young man ?" she said while putting a caring hand on Lorena's belly. "You're really showing now. Normal, it's a boy. Girls tend to be more discreet."

Lorena chuckled. "Oh, that's also what my grandma used to say. She taught me how to recognize if the pregnant woman carried a boy or a girl that way. I had become very much adept at that. That was funny to puzzle people around."

"Your grandma was right, Lorena. Some Muggles use the same method too, so I've heard."

"Yes, they do, I can confirm you."

"Do you still use that concealing charm ?" she asked.

"Yes, that's necessary. But Professor McGonagall taught me I should cast it on my garments, not on my body."

"That's preferable indeed. Though I have to tell you : you should not use it on your last month."

A look of panic passed on Lorena's face quickly. "I'm not supposed to be that advanced in my pregnancy, Ms Pomfrey. I have to keep it like this ! Till the very end !"

The medi-witch had a compassionate look for her. "I know, but I'm afraid you'll have to find another solution. I tell you this for your health and that of your child."

Lorena bit her lip, like every time something bugged her. She was worried. Severus shared her concern too – a solution would have to be worked out. She closed her eyes and tried to calm down the surge of anxiety that had just seized her heart. Then she felt something warm wrapping her hand.

He had taken her hand in his in a caring embrace. She felt overwhelmed by a strong feeling of comfort. _He can do that ? Of course, through the Love-Snakes…_ Lorena felt troubled.

"Alright, everything's fine for you and the baby, Lorena. However, there's another thing you have to be aware of," Poppy went on. "And you too, Severus."

"What is it ?" the Potions Master asked.

"About travel. Now Lorena is about to enter her seventh month. There are some restrictions from now on. Using a Portkey is strictly forbidden. You may use Apparition but only on short distances. Floo is fine and safe. You may still use a broom provided you ride side-saddle, Lorena."

"I've never been good with a broom, except to sweep floors," Lorena said humorously. "I don't like it, makes me dizzy. And since I've become blind, no way for me to ride a broom. But I can still sweep floors."

"I'll remember that, Poppy," Severus said. "Though I do not wish to take Miss Nottingham on a broom if she's is to be sick all the way."

These restrictions would complicate the matter any further. Severus made a quick decision. He would ask Dumbledore to have the grate in his office and in the Hospital Wing to be connected with his grate in Spinner's End. He did not like this breach in his privacy but he would do it for Lorena. Besides, it would be only temporary, just for the remainder of her pregnancy.

"What is exactly a short distance ?" he asked. He had in mind they would have to travel to go to Lorena's father's jail in Liverpool.

"Oh, less than twenty miles. And only if absolutely necessary. Otherwise, use the Floo or a broom or Muggle means of transportation. You may also split the trip but with at least about fifteen minutes between each Apparition/Disapparition."

He nodded. "Right."

"Finished, Lorena. You may dress up. See you in one month. Oh, Severus, one last thing." The medi-witch paused, assessing the pair in front of her. "I hope you still follow my advice as to how to behave when you're together in bed. More than ever."

Severus felt his cheeks blushing. He tried to maintain his composure but he read on Poppy's face that he had failed. The medi-witch smirked – it was not like you could embarrass the dreaded Potions Master of Hogwarts every day. She had become used to that and she enjoyed it.

As for Lorena… she had kept her eyes lowered, her head slightly turned away. She looked like she wanted to slither into some hole, never to come back. She did not blush. On the contrary, she was white. Then, Poppy noticed a small scar on the young woman's neck.

Poppy felt suspicious suddenly. She decided a small talk with the young woman was in order. "Severus, leave us alone, please."

The Potions Master shot the medi-witch a glare but Poppy Pomfrey was no longer impressed – if she had ever been – by him. He obeyed and left the two women in the room, closing the door behind him. Poppy cast a silencing charm over the room.

"Now, we're alone, Lorena. I want to know : does he behave with you in the bedroom as per my recommendations ?"

That was the question the young woman dreaded most. She remained silent.

"You may talk here. We're alone and what is said here, shall remain here. I silenced the room."

Lorena thought that Alastor had been careful indeed. But she could not say that and betray her secret with the ex-Auror. She could not tell Poppy that she had broken up with Severus and therefore, they had not made love since… since early January, before term resumed. Severus had been careful indeed. She chose an intermediate solution.

"He's… careful with me," she replied softly.

"No bleeding, no soreness, no cramps, after sexual intercourses ?"

The question was direct – like all the questions asked by healers and doctors.

"No. Nothing of the like." That was true, even after the sex she had had with Alastor. Despite how he was hung, no matter how passionate a lover he was, he had been gentle and careful.

Poppy was not convinced. Either the young woman was shy and embarrassed. Either she lied or at least, tried to conceal the truth – that could mean only one thing then : Severus was brutal with her in bed. Worst, she was afraid of him. She did not insist though. She knew that Lorena was someone rather private. "I'm aware you don't have many experienced female references in your midst. If you need to talk to an older woman that may help you, you may come to me, you know it."

Lorena decided to reassure the medi-witch. She raised her head in Poppy's direction. "I do and I will not hesitate to come to you if need be," she said with a smile on her face.

"Good, I prefer that. From the look on your face, I thought that… that Severus had not behaved in bed with you as per my recommendations. I know how he is, how he can be."

Lorena frowned. Poppy put a hand on her shoulder. "No, it's not what you think… I could have been his mother !" She chuckled at the innuendo. "I don't know him like you do, from a biblical perspective. It's just that I patched him up so many times, that I know how he's built physically. I know also, like everybody here, how nasty he can be sometimes with people in general. He can get carried away easily, despite that cold demeanor of his."

"Oh," was all Lorena could utter. She could not have told why, but she felt relieved. Stupidly relieved. She was no longer with him. She had broken up with him. Yet, the notion that jealousy may have stung her heart for a few seconds, made her feel strange. She had no right over that man. She had forfeited her rights over him with that stupid letter of hers.

_Stupid letter ? Since when do I think…_ She bit her lip again while putting on her shoes. Yes, maybe she had made a stupid thing after all. She was almost dressed up, her shoes on, ready to go out.

"Not so fast, Lorena. I'm not through with you yet."

Lorena wondered what the medi-witch wanted this time. She soon got the answer when she felt two fingers prodding her neck.

"What is this, Lorena ?"

The delay in the younger woman's reply informed her that this was not something she wanted to discuss. "Nothing, Ms Pomfrey. Just a scar." Her voice was trailing off too. Enough unsaid information to push the medi-witch to enquire further.

"Not your usual scar, Lorena. Looks like…" _Oh, no, don't tell me he has done _that_ to her !_ Yet if that was what she suspected, she was not surprised. She turned the young woman's head delicately to check on the other side of the neck. There was the same scar there.

"He's bitten you, hasn't he ?" No need to mention who 'he' was.

Lorena swallowed, her eyes lowered in sheer embarrassment. She had hoped that Poppy would not know anything. Her last words told her that the medi-witch knew about this practice.

"Yes…" she let out in a barely audible whisper. Poppy was close enough to hear her though.

"When and in which circumstances did he do that to you ?"

Lorena could not tell her the whole truth. She went for the obvious explanation. "During the Christmas break." That was true at least.

"What were the circumstances ?" Poppy insisted.

"Is that so important ?" Lorena replied, anger in her tone. _Of course it is._ Yet, she hoped the medi-witch would let the issue there.

From her words, Poppy assumed that the young woman in front of her did not know a single thing about love-bites. She sighed silently. "It is, Lorena. When a wizard does that to a witch, it means a lot. The circumstances around the deed are important too. Tell me now and I'll explain to you."

Lorena could not even tell her that she knew already about it. Well, from a theoretical point of view only. A practical, experienced approach would be interesting to hear. She surrendered. "Will you keep it… between you and me ?"

"If it can help you talk, I will. Though I hope that Severus knew what he was doing when he did that to you."

Another pause. "During sex. He did that to me then." That was half the truth.

"The two times ?"

Lorena nodded.

"Lorena, have you ever heard about love-bites ?"

"From the other girls in the dorm. I remember one showing us a bruise on her neck. I wasn't blind then yet."

Poppy sighed again. "I'm afraid that this is not what we call a love-bite in our world. I know teenagers do that between themselves. But here we have something entirely different, given to you by a powerful and skilled wizard, who is no longer a teenager. He gave it to you during sexual intercourse. The meaning is different. The consequences also."

Lorena remembered what she had read about it in the book she had seen in Severus' library in Spinner's End. Nonetheless, she was curious to hear about the explanation given by a person, not a book. "What do you mean ?"

"When a wizard marks a witch that way, he creates some kind of a bond with her, especially if done during sex."

_As if we __weren't enough bonded together…_ Lorena thought bitterly.

"It's an old practice, used to show other wizards that a witch is already the property of a male."

_This is more like it._

"I only suspected that Severus could be possessive. But to that extent…" Poppy said thoughtfully. "Well, it's not like his name is written all over your body but at least it's supposed to inform other wizards that you're no longer available as a female partner."

Apparently, Alastor had missed the point… "Why would he do that ?"

Poppy chuckled. "Come on, Lorena. I didn't know he would go for this kind of practice. Though I suspect this is more or less something he must have learned with the other Death-Eaters. Or even from his master. That's why circumstances are important. Given during a consenting relationship, it can be construed as a mark of love. Imposed during non-consensual sex, it can be considered as a Dark practice."

"A Dark practice ?"

"You know, Lorena, Dark wizards consider blood magic as Dark magic most of the time. Don't go tell him I've told you that !"

"Does that mean you consider him as a Dark wizard ?" Lorena enquired. _A Dark wizard or a Death-Eater ?_

Poppy sighed. "I know he was a Death-Eater. You must have seen the Dark Mark on his left forearm. If he's still a Dark wizard, I don't know. Death-Eaters are all Dark wizards while Dark wizards are not always You-Know-Who's followers. Yet, for many people, he's still considered as both, even if Albus Dumbledore vouched for him that he wasn't a Death-Eater any longer. There had been a trial and Severus had come out of it recognized as innocent as a lamb – which he is not, of course."

_How interesting._ "So you don't trust him, do you ?"

"Comes down to whether or not you trust the Headmaster's judgment, Albus trusts Severus, therefore I do."

_Do I trust the both of them ?_ Lorena thought. _Seems like I don't have much choice in this. My safety rests in their hands. And so is my fate._

"More seriously, if Severus went to these lengths with you, you must mean a lot to him," Poppy said with a reassuring hand on Lorena's arm.

_Could it be his way of telling me that he… No, it can't be possible.__ He doesn't._ Lorena bit her lips. The two times he had done this to her, had been during moments when he had asserted his possession of hers – or tried to.

"Lorena, I hope he didn't do that to you because he was brutal with you," the medi-witch said with a concerned tone in her voice.

The younger witch knew she was threading on thin ice at this point. "No, not at all…" she lied. "But tell me, does that mean that depending on the circumstances, the meaning is different ? I'd like to know, never heard of this before. I'm interested… from an academic point of view."

That was rather lame an excuse but given her academic achievements over the years, it should do the trick.

"Yes. It's one thing to be marked out of love, during passionate, loving sex. Many witches enjoy that. It's a whole another thing to be marked during a non-consensual sexual intercourse. In that case, you're just branded like cattle."

Lorena wondered if Ms Pomfrey had not read the same book as she had. She used the same words. Her heart sank because Severus had bitten her in very ambiguous circumstances to say the least. _I'm just his thing._

"But I'm sure that as far as Severus is concerned, that's because he wanted to show you how much you mean for him. He is what he is but I can see that he cares for you – deeply."

_I would not bet on that, dear Poppy._"So I should consider this as something… positive then ?"

"Yes. Witches love to be love-bitten by their wizards. Most of the time, it happens during the wedding night. Especially if the bride is a virgin. But it's quite rare now. The younger generations don't know about all this. I'm even surprised that Severus knows about this practice. More my generation. Well, he knows so many things. Including Dark stuff."

Lorena wanted to ask the medi-witch if she had been marked herself, as per her usual tactics of asking questions in order to avoid being asked questions. But she deemed this topic to be too much personal.

Poppy watched the young woman. "Severus did that to you but he didn't tell you what it was all about."

Lorena shook her head. The medi-witch had a point there. _Why didn't he tell me about all this if this is to be so important for the couple ?_ She had to reckon that she had overlooked the issue completely then. _We're not a couple. I'm just his property. _

"He should have. He's the one to know after all."

"Maybe he did not wish me to know. If it's more or less related to Dark magic in his mind…"

"In that case, I will tell him then what I think of that !" the medi-witch exclaimed petulantly.

Lorena felt a surge of panic rise in her chest. "No ! Please ! No… don't say anything, Ms Pomfrey… Please. I'll deal with him. I'll ask him." _When I'm ready to confront him._ "You promised me to keep silent about all this."

Poppy simmered down. "You're right. It's just that he should not do that if it's related to Dark magic, while you're pregnant. Just ask him what his intentions were when he did that to you."

Lorena let out a silent breath. "There's one thing I'm sure about Severus. He will not put me and/or my child in contact with Dark magic while I'm pregnant, if he can avoid it." She was sincere and convincing in her defense of him. Yet, the medi-witch had a valid point about his real intentions. _Intention is what fuels magic._ Yet, asking him promised to be easier said than done.

"He'd better. Or else, believe me. There'll be hell to pay for him, I can promise you that." A pause. "You may go, Lorena. I believe Severus is waiting for you outside. The least problem and you come and see me at once. Oh, take this, something to give you more strength. You take two drops in a glass of water in the morning and it should alleviate your tiredness for the day. The potion name is written on it."

"Thank you, Ms Pomfrey," Lorena said with a grin, when the medi-witch put the small vial in her hand.

Severus was there indeed, waiting for her. His eyes gleamed when she went out of the room. He came to her to take her by the elbow and guide her towards the Hospital Wing grate. Poppy noticed the gleam in his eyes. "Severus, I trust you'll take good care of her."

"I will," he said firmly. Oh, yes, that was his _intention_ indeed.

* * *

_**The 100**__**th**__** chapter ! Yeah ! And the story is not finished yet, so please, be patient with me !**_

_**Interesting question : is a Dark wizard a Death-Eater ? Are **__**they all Voldemort's followers ? Could there be Dark wizards who are not Death-Eaters ? Or are the two expressions equal in your opinion, dear readers ?**_

_**For all those out of there who are geniuses and wizards with drawing and photo-manip, please feel free to use my work to spur your imagination - just provide me with the link so that I can admire your work and leave a review for it.**_

_**Please rate & review ! Thanks in anticipation !**__** I hope the REVIEW button is not out of service… **_


	101. I will always trust you

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**101**** – I will always trust you**

They had arrived to his office through the Floo network. Severus helped her put on her cloak. "What did you tell Poppy about… us ?"

Lorena did not like the question, as much from him than from the medi-witch. "I said you were… gentle."

He watched her carefully. As she had her head lowered in a very submissive manner, he took her chin and lifted her face up. "You may use Legilimency on me, Professor. I speak the truth."

"You lied to her."

Lorena said nothing. She waited for his next question to come.

"Why did you lie to her ? About us ?"

_Right on._ She began to know him well. All too well. "I don't want anybody to know that…" She bit her lip again. Severus was fascinated by this gesture of hers. He wanted to bite her into her skin, to kiss and nibble her lips, to lave her breasts with his tongue. To give her all the pleasure he could. To make love to her. To love her.

"I guess you already have the answer," she said softly, thinking about the other, previous time she had lied to the medi-witch. After the branch had fallen on him further to her magical outburst, before the Christmas break. When he had tried to rape her again.

He glared at her. "That was not my impression, according to the letter you had written to me."

His reply unsettled her. This was the very first time he talked about the letter to her directly. Of course, during the month, when he had behaved hatefully with her in class, he had alluded to her writing skills, in his always clever, witty, disguised fashion. The innuendo had been lost on the others but not on her of course.

Yet, the letter had been a love letter besides being a farewell letter. Lorena had claimed her love for him in it – along explaining why she had left him. It had been a message as much loving as desperate.

"Maybe you got the wrong impression then. Maybe my writing skills are overrated if I had not been able to convey what I feel for you." Her tone was meant to be light. Yet, she felt heavy inside.

"So why did you lie to her ?" he insisted.

"I didn't lie to her actually. I just told her that you behaved with me. After all, thinking of it, there was no manhandling from you on me, as there was nothing more between us," she said with a cold, scathing tone. "Unless you consider your blatantly unfair behavior with me in class as… mental manhandling, also known as bullying. For which I think you qualify indeed."

This time, he felt hurt. She was right. _How much I'd like to manhandle you, Lorena,_ he thought. _At least, I would have you near me, close to me, in my arms. No. If I had you in my arms, I would love you, not manhandle you. I don't want to do that any more._

"An omission ?"

"A choice."

"Of course," he sneered. She was right to say this was a choice. Like her breaking up with him had been her choice, not his. Like everything else before. The choice to lose her virginity with him, for example. The choice to love him while aware her love would be unrequited. The choice to giver herself to Moody. He realized she had made choices that had not been that easy to make – but who had said that would be easy ? Severus spent his time reminding his students that life was not easy, even rather unfair. He had been taught that truth first hand, at home, then at school, to end up in the most unfair place and station ever : between a rock and a hard place, spy for two powerful masters he had to serve blindly, whatever the cost to his own soul. He had had the choice long ago. He had lost the capacity to choose then. At least, she still had that capacity. _For how long ?_

She was strong, much more than her disability and frail looks may tell. Somewhere, he loved that. He was proud of her, proud of having a strong witch like her to carry his son. She was his match – even if he had refused it for quite some time, even if she refused it now – and that thought only comforted him. He knew he would be able to get her back.

He took her school bag and found it a bit heavy. He cast an alleviating charm and put the strap on her shoulder. It felt lighter and she was surprised. "Thank you, Professor, for the charm."

His fingertips brushed her cheek. Instinctively, she closed her eyes, turned her cheek against his fingers for a closer contact. He knew then that she still enjoyed his touch somehow. No, maybe not every thing was lost in their relationship. "Now go back to your common room," he whispered, close to her.

_Leave__, before I can do to you all the things I want to._

* * *

Severus had come and seen Albus Dumbledore to ask him to put his Spinner's End grate connected to his own office grate as well as the Hospital Wing. He had explained the situation to the Headmaster that accepted at once. He also told him about the concealing charm that hid Lorena's real state of progress of her pregnancy.

"That means that we may have to hide her as well eventually," Albus said thoughtfully.

"I agree. But I don't think it is a good idea to tell her though. Not yet."

"You're right indeed. We'll work out a solution then."

"A solution called Twelve Grimmauld Place ?"

"Do you have another one ? Unless you wish to hide her at Spinner's End ?"

"No. She has to be hidden from eyes that may be too close to the Dark Lord."

"Then the Order headquarters are a good place. Think of it, Severus, her last month will coincide with the term holidays at Easter. She may leave then. I can arrange for some tutorial to take place there for her, so that she may not lose everything she had worked hard for this year."

Severus agreed in a nod. Lorena would be able to spend her last month of pregnancy there – if she wanted, if the conditions around her situation did not change either.

"From the information you brought back, Tom is in the final preparation phase of his plans concerning overtaking our wizarding community."

"He is indeed." He sighed. "Of course, I'm a part of it."

"And you'll stay a part of it, Severus. In no way I want your cover to be blown. You must act as if you were still on his side."

"Including if that means having to kill her and/or my son ?" he spat, his tone full of bitterness.

"The Unbreakable Vow magic will assist you in this regard. Don't underestimate its power. Nor the girl's elemental magic." He put a friendly hand on the younger wizard's shoulder. "Severus, your feelings for each other will be the most powerful tools we have to bring down Tom. Don't forget it."

Severus was about to retort 'Yes, love, your ever present, favorite weapon ?' when he decided against. Maybe the old man was right this time. She had already saved him, out of love, with the power of her love, resulting in him owing her a life-debt.

"Please could you have that connection with my home set up quickly ? I need to bring her there in order for her to call the jailhouse. We need to have an appointment with the warden there as quick as possible."

"Leave that to me, Severus. Your home will be connected to your office and the Hospital Wing only, if that makes you more comfortable. I think it is safer too."

"I just want to buy you some time. One month is quickly gone."

"You're right and I appreciate that. I have news about Sirius. He agreed to welcome Lorena's father in his home. He's enthralled at the idea he will have someone to share the house with."

"I'm overjoyed for him," Severus commented with a snarl.

Albus said nothing – he knew better. He was well aware that there were things that would or could not change. Never.

"I should have the job contract by tomorrow. The wizard that has to give it to me is to bring it here tomorrow evening, after his own classes. He had gathered the importance of the thing and he preferred to give it to me directly instead of sending it by owl."

"Is he someone we can trust ?"

"Always paranoid, Severus ?"

"It saved my damn bloody life quite a certain number of times !" the Potions Master replied hastily, his voice dripping with petulant sarcasm.

"He's a member of the Order, if that can reassure you. I have several people that could be labeled as… let's say, reserves, ready to stand up in case of need," he explained before Severus may burst out in another paranoid fit. "I've organized our troops in cells, that don't know each other and report only to me. In case they are caught, they can't give other people away, except me. Tom already knows I'm at the head of the Order, so that's not a big deal." His eyes twinkled. "I've learned that from Muggle history. Subversive groups in the Muggle world are often organized that way."

He took Severus' silence as an approval of his methods. Yes, those Muggles were not so stupid after all. Dumbledore's organization allowed him to know every thing, work with many people and rely on them while at the same keeping them out of harm's way as much as possible. And if one of them was caught, the whole Order was not jeopardized.

Of course, such a system could not work with someone like the Dark Lord. Voldemort was too much of a lone player to function that way. Besides, setting up people against each other and maintaining animosities was a good way of _controlling_ them. It implied that they all know each other. Voldemort did not care to throw his servants in harm's way – violence was a way of management in his own organization.

"So, once I have the contract, I'll give it to you so that you may go to the jailhouse, meet the director there and give it to him. A last thing, Kingsley's address," the Headmaster said as he handed over a piece of parchment to Severus. "I think every thing is in good order now. You have everything you need to get her father outside his jailhouse in a timely fashion."

"Thank you, Headmaster," Severus replied while pocketing the parchment without even glancing at it.

He was about to leave when Albus called him. "Oh, Severus, how's Lorena ?"

The Potions Master stopped dead in his tracks. He turned slowly towards the Headmaster. "She's fine. And so is the boy. Only a bit tired but otherwise, she's fine."

Albus Dumbledore's steely blue eyes peered at him. Severus knew he was in for a Legilimency ride. He locked his eyes confidently with the older wizard's, Occluding his mind at once, like he did with Voldemort. Yet, this time, he let slip a few memories. His holding hands with her during the physical. His caressing her cheek before she left his office. Poppy's gentle warning of how he should behave in a bed with the young witch.

Of course, Severus had no way to know that Dumbledore had read the farewell letter Lorena had written. He could not know that the Headmaster knew about all this. As he had decided to hide it, he showed only images and memories of a time when he was with Lorena. He let out a bit of his feelings for her eventually. Albus left his mind.

"Tell me, Severus, when I mentioned earlier your feelings for each other, you didn't stop me." A pause. "You love her, don't you ?"

His usual scowl on his face, the Potions Master remained unreadable. Then he lowered his eyes. "Yes, I do," as if it were a crime. Well, it was not so difficult to admit it actually.

"Good. I'm glad to know that you manage to express your feelings. I was under the impression that you were no longer a couple lately."

A quick emotion flew over Severus' face before he could regain his unfathomable composure. "May I leave, Headmaster ?"

Albus let out a tiny grin. "Of course you may, Severus." Once the Potions Master was out of earshot, the old wizard chuckled. He had to reckon that if he had not stumbled on the letter, he would have had no way to know about the real situation between his Potions Master and the young witch. _Severus, my boy… you know how to hide a secret. That's why I do trust you so much and always will._

* * *

_**Looks like Severus is slowly warming up, as far as his feelings for Lorena are concerned.**__** About time !**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! **_

_**The button at the end of the chapter is not just for looking nice on the page… So feel free to use it, eh ?**_


	102. The Release Order

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**102**** – The Release Order**

Severus had agreed with Lorena that they would go and call the jailhouse to have an appointment with the warden as soon as he would have been given the job contract for her father, so that they could travel the least possible. He had no class on that Friday afternoon and she would be excused from Charms.

Dumbledore gave him the contract hiring George Nottingham as a music teacher. Kingsley had also written the Headmaster a formal letter stating he would accommodate the former inmate. Severus explained to Albus he would go to the jailhouse on Friday – hopefully.

* * *

In the meantime, the Headmaster had sent a letter to Lorena's father to keep him posted about his situation. Through the usual means, the letter was owled to Mrs Arabella Figg, that then sent it back to its final addressee by the Muggle post.

George Nottingham received the letter a day before Lorena had planned to visit the warden and bring him the paperwork. He was happy to read Mrs Figg's name on the envelope as the sender. He had come to associate the old lady's name with news from his daughter – because he was sure she was an old lady, fact confirmed to him later on by Lorena herself, who had asked Dumbledore about her. He did not talk much in jail to the other inmates, just telling she was an old aunt taking care of his daughter.

He was surprised to read a parchment bearing the Hogwarts letterhead, while Lorena wrote to him on plain parchment. For a second or two, he hoped that these were not bad news about the closest thing he had as a family.

_Dear Mr Nottingham,_

_Your daughter Lorena has forwarded to me your last letter in which you explained that you should be freed by the end of February. She has not let you down in this regard and was right in informing me about all this so that we may help you both as much as possible._

_I inform you that you will have a job contract for a position as a music teacher in a school I know, as well as a place to live in London (where the school in question is located). We'll explain everything to you then, once you're free. Even before, if that's possible – this has to be checked with your jailhouse director, if visits can be arranged before. _

_Looking forward to meeting you again then._

_Yours faithfully  
__Albus P. W. B. Dumbledore  
__Headmaster  
__Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry_

George Nottingham was impressed. Not only his daughter had not let him down but these people at Hogwarts had provided him with what he needed most : a job. Though he was surprised that he would have to move to London. He had planned to live in his mother's house. But yet, London was a great place for musicians, as much as Manchester or Liverpool or Nottingham after all. He would not be difficult as this meant for him to have a job and get out this shithole of a slammer.

_But why these people that barely know me, should come and help me ?_ He could not make heads or tails of this. Well, that was not bad a situation – it could have been worse. He realized that not all inmates were as lucky as this to have a daughter such as Lorena, and that said daughter was enrolled in an institution ready to help him as much as they had already.

* * *

Lorena had her cloak on, as Severus had told her to. He had explained to her they would Floo to his home instead of Apparating. Then, once in Spinner's End, it would not be difficult to walk to the next phone booth they had already used shortly before visiting her father during Christmas break. She had made sure to have some Muggle coins with her as well as the jailhouse number.

"I've called Ziggy, he's now at home. He will see that you arrive safely. I'll arrive shortly after, he'll make sure you'll be out of the grate before I Floo in."

She nodded. Severus threw a handful of Floo powder into the flames that turned green at once. "Spinner's End !" he said forcefully before pushing her gently into the flames. A few seconds later, he did the same and stepped safely into his home.

Lorena was there, her empty pale gray eyes staring in the void. She was attentive to her environment though. Ziggy was at her side, muttering words under his breath, from which "powerful witch, elemental magic, carrying a powerful wizard," and other similar comments could be heard. The young woman did not seem to pay much attention, now she was used to his ranting. She did not mind, his words did not meant harm.

"That's fine, Ziggy, you may leave." Severus came to Lorena and brushed some soot from her cloak, his hands brushing gently on her shoulders. She let him do. Then he did the same for himself.

"Shall we go, Lorena ?" he asked her gently while taking her elbow in his hand.

"Yes, Prof... Severus."

A tiny smile appeared on his lips. A few minutes later, they were outside, on their way to the phone booth down the street. Severus had even slid his hand along Lorena's forearm to reach her hand. His fingers had even entangled with hers. She did not react – or at least show any reaction. She just welcomed his warm hand wrapping hers.

They arrived at the phone booth – which was available. They entered together inside. Lorena got the phone number from outside her pocket as well as a few Muggle coins.

Remembering last time they had been there, Severus let her do. She found the appropriate coins and inserted them. Then she dialed the number and waited for someone to pick up the communication, hoping she would get someone indeed. Worry could be read on her face. She turned her face towards Severus.

"Everything will be alright, Lorena," he said softly, feeling her angst.

She nodded. Then suddenly, her face became animated. Someone had taken her call. "Good afternoon, please could you put me through the warden's office ? Thank you…" She waited a few long seconds. Someone took the communication. "Good afternoon, ma'am. I call to get an appointment with the warden… It's regarding my father. He's an inmate in your jail… George Lord Nottingham, No. 7474505B… Yes, that's him. My father… Listen, I think the warden needs to meet me because my father is supposed to be paroled at the end of February… yes, that's it… Indeed… When can I meet him ? Thing is, I'm presently enrolled in a boarding school and I'm blind. I must be accompanied by someone from my school… I'd appreciate if I could be given an appointment to meet him… It's just I need to bring him some paperwork for my father's release. Yes… I can wait." Another pause during which she was put on hold.

Severus let his gaze wander in the phone booth. Suddenly, his eyes were drawn by a poster taped to the booth wall. He began to read the text.

It was a poster advertising the upcoming Valentine's Day concert in the area. The City Council was organizing a concert on that occasion. Classical music played by a string band from the City Music School. A few names of composers were quoted. One of them drew Severus' attention even more.

_Works by Great 20__th__Century Composers  
__Samuel Barber, Leonard Bernstein, George Gershwin, Maurice Ravel  
__Performed by the City Music School_

_Barber_… The _Adagio for Strings_. Severus checked the price of the tickets. Not that much expensive. A scheme began to form in his mind. Music was a good way to have a hold on Lorena. He may use it to please her and get her back too. He had never really enjoyed Valentine's Day but with Lorena, for Lorena, he would be ready to make an exception.

Severus made a quick decision and delicately removed the poster for his reference and information. He would get in touch with these people and buy tickets for himself and Lorena. He folded the poster and tucked it into his frock coat pocket just before Lorena began to speak again.

"Yes, ma'am, oh, you mean I can come… this afternoon ? Now ? Really ? Oh, that's wonderful !... Of course, we can ! Thank you so much !... Yes, I need to vouch for my father and bring the warden some paperwork, my father's work contract and the address where he's going to live once paroled… Yes, that's all I wish to do. So I can come any time now. Great. Oh, one last thing, ma'am… Could it be possible that my father may receive a visit from his future employer ? Yes, they already know each other. My father's a musician and he's been offered a position as a music teacher in a school. Ah, I will discuss this with the warden then, alright. Thank you for arranging this appointment for me."

_Clever woman_, Severus thought. He knew she was arranging Dumbledore's visit.

"Thank you so much, ma'am, for your kind assistance. Goodbye." She put the receiver into place gently. "YES !" she exclaimed joyfully. All the worry she had felt previously had been lifted from her shoulders, her soul. "Severus, we may go there now, if that's possible for you."

"Of course, it is. The quicker we get this out of our way, the better for your father."

At the same time, she felt her son moving in her womb and she flinched a bit. Severus put a hand on her belly and caressed her there. The baby stopped moving, as if recognizing his father's touch at once. Lorena smiled at her Potions Master with gratitude. He would have kissed her for that only. "Thank you, Severus."

"Let's go back home, Lorena. No need to stay here any longer. In case we may infuriate some old bigot again."

She giggled at the memory of the prude old woman that had scolded Severus for kissing Lorena passionately inside the booth while she had been waiting outside. "Severus, you just made a joke !"

A part of her former spontaneity had come back, which made Severus' heart leap in his chest. For a few seconds, she had been back to the Lorena he had lived with last Summer, that he had deflowered in the cave, that he had loved for the whole night. Trusting and caring.

Once again, his hand slid along her arm then his fingers entangled with hers. They walked up to his home. He had left the job contract there as well the letter from Kingsley Shacklebolt agreeing to accommodate George Nottingham. They came back home and retrieved the much needed documents.

* * *

Severus had decided they would split their trip by Apparition, as per Poppy's recommendations, as he had not an exact idea of the distance between Spinner's End and Wizarding Liverpool. They would Apparate under a motorway bridge, where nobody would see them. Severus had his wand at the ready, in case he may need to Obliviate a Muggle or two there. Maybe there would be some old drunk that would see them. Not a big deal. He was much more concerned about meeting a bunch of junkies, which could be much more dangerous if interrupted in their dealings. Living in Spinner's End had been a good school too…

They Apparated there and fortunately, there was nobody around. They stayed for fifteen minutes there, in each other's arms. After all, from a distance, they looked like a couple seeking solitude there for a tryst. Once the fifteen minutes were elapsed, Severus Disapparated with Lorena in his arms to Wizarding Liverpool. Once there, they went out to Muggle Liverpool and caught a bus bound for the jailhouse.

There were not so many people as it was no longer the rush hour. They could seat together. Again, some people glanced at them, the strange couple formed by a lovely young woman and an older, not-so-handsome man. But nobody made disgraceful comments. They had their hands entwined and seemed very much in love with each other. The young woman even seemed to be pregnant.

They got off at the jailhouse stop. They entered the building after showing their ID papers. They were led to the administrative section of the jail. There, Lorena introduced herself and explained the purpose of her visit. She was kindly ushered into the warden's office, along with Severus which she introduced too as a teacher at her boarding school.

The prison director welcomed her and she gave him the paperwork for her father. He checked them – the job contract and Kingsley's letter. "Right, Miss Nottingham. I believe everything is in good order. I can confirm that your father is scheduled to be paroled on next February 28th. Will you be here to pick him up ?"

"No, unfortunately, I won't be able to do so. I have a mock exam then that I can't miss," she said with a quick thinking. "But the Headmaster of my school will be there. By the way, is it possible for him to meet my father before he's freed ?"

"No, I'm sorry, miss. The rules are strict in this matter. The only person to be able to meet your father is his lawyer – which I haven't seen here in ages, I must say. Your father's name had been put forward for a possible parole on our suggestion. You see, we're a bit overcrowded here, your father had behaved and as he had not committed a blood crime, we had deemed he could qualify for a parole."

"Oh." Lorena tried to conceal her disappointment.

"If you cannot be there on February 28th, may I ask you to sign the Release Order now ?"

"You mean… I'd be the person responsible for my father ?"

"Not exactly. If your father commits another offense, you won't be sued. Yet, without that Order signed by you, going bail for him, your father cannot be released."

Severus could read on Lorena's face that she was torn. If she did not sign, he was to stay here – something that he would never forgive her. If she signed, she would be responsible for him – with all the consequences, moral if not legal.

"Do you realize that it makes me responsible for my father while it should be the contrary ? I mean, I'm of age indeed but usually parents are responsible for their children, not the reverse. Morally speaking."

The director had a compassionate gaze for her. "I realize that but it's quite common nowadays, you know. Many grown-up children have to take care of their old parents."

"But my father is not an old man ! He's still young, with all his body and mind working."

"Miss Nottingham, that's the law, without that Order signed, no parole possible."

"Can it be possible that another person, older than my father, may sign it ?"

Severus knew she was thinking about Albus Dumbledore.

"That would complicate things further. The simplest for everyone is that _you_ vouch for him, as his next of kin."

_Yes, the simplest for you – not for me_, she thought while biting her lip.

"You have to make your father understand he has to behave for your own sake."

Lorena nodded. _He has to behave for _his_ own sake first._ There was nothing she could do. Severus realized that this would be an extra burden on her shoulders. But the young witch was courageous. She raised her head towards the prison warden.

"I will sign. Do you need to know beforehand who is to fetch my father ?"

"No. Once your father is out, he's no longer our concern. He can go freely wherever he wants, provided he doesn't break his parole by committing another offense and/or failing to report to his parole officer. Thanks to that letter from that Mr Shacklebolt, I will be able to contact the Parole Office in London to forward him your father's file. I will give the name and the office address to your father before he goes out of here, when he collects his belongings."

"Alright, please could you forward a copy of that to Mr Shacklebolt too ? At his address ?"

_Clever move_, Severus thought. _In case her father may prove a bit rebellious or forgetful._

"Sure thing, miss," the prison director said while handing her the paperwork to be signed. "Here's the Release Order."

"Professor, please could you check it out for me ?" She could not use magic in front of a Muggle.

"Yes, miss, no problem." Severus took the papers and read them carefully. A few minutes later, he put the papers back on the table. "It's fine, Miss Nottingham. Sir, have you got a pen, please ?" he asked.

"Yes, here it is."

Severus put the pen into Lorena's left hand, then directed her hand to the blank space where she had to sign. She did so and the deal was done. "Congratulations, miss, you've just freed your father," the prison director said heartily.

_And you, you just got rid of him_, she thought bitterly. "Thank you, sir, that was very kind of you to welcome us."

"I'm aware of your disability and the fact that you're in a boarding school. Your father is a decent man. If all our inmates could be like him, things would be far easier. I was all the more willing to help you both."

Severus took a copy of the Release Order that was for Lorena. The other copy was for the prison warden, the third copy for the future parole officer in charge of George Nottingham.

They left the jail quickly. They had to wait for about half an hour to catch a bus that would bring them back to Wizarding Liverpool. Severus checked his watch. Almost five o'clock. Some sleet began to fall. Night would fall in about half an hour.

He dragged her out of earshot. "Lorena, we don't have a lot of time left. I'd like to be back to Spinner's End before dark. Let's walk away and Disapparate. First to Wizarding Liverpool. Then to the motorway bridge we used earlier. Last, to Spinner's End. Keep in mind that we have to wait about fifteen minutes between each Apparition."

She was puzzled but consented with a nod. He was right. That would take about half an hour. They walked away and found a clump of trees behind which they could Disapparate discreetly.

They found themselves in Wizarding Liverpool – not very far from Borderedge Lane, the infamous street. Severus had a thought for the young prostitute that had helped him to realize his feelings for Lorena. He decided they could stroll a bit around, even if the young witch could not see. He wondered if it was risky to be seen – but after all, he was just assisting her in her family business as her Head of House. Nobody could say a thing about that, not even the other Death-Eaters, not even the Dark Lord.

After about fifteen minutes, they came back to the Apparition point and Severus focused on the bridge under the motorway. He secured Lorena against him and they both Disapparated to arrive to their destination. Wand at the ready, he scanned the place with his sharp gaze. Nobody around. He let out a relieved breath. The night was falling and he knew this was the kind of place where thugs could get together for their not-so-legit deals. He could defend himself and Lorena but it would get complicated as it would require Obliviate spells and the like. Besides, he knew how these people operated – he did not wish to put Lorena and their child in harm's way more than necessary. They spent fifteen minutes there, careful to the least weird sound or noise that could tell them someone was coming.

"We may go now, the fifteen minutes have elapsed," Severus said softly. "Are you fine ?" he added while hugging her close to his body.

"Yes… Oh !" Lorena let out a small shriek but it was too late. They had Disapparated.

* * *

_**I haven't done extensive research about legal technicalities **__**about paroles in the UK. So I invented. I'm a writer, not a lawyer.**_

_**Is Severus decided to play it nice with Lorena ? Will he seize the opportunity presented to him by Valentine's Day ? Not that he is the kind of lover to be enthralled by Valentine's Day but he's the always scheming Slytherin, hell-bent on getting Lorena back !**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_

_**The muses begged me to tell you all, dear readers, to use the green button at the bottom of the page. You know how these ladies are demanding !**_


	103. Magical interactions

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**103**** – Magical interactions**

They Apparated in the dark dead end alley that Severus used as an Apparition/Disapparition point in his neighborhood. He felt the young witch sag against him, her breath ragged.

"Lorena !" He moved her against the closest wall. "What's going on ?"

Her breath was labored, she let out a moan of pain. "Lorena ! Tell me !"

"Sev… Severus…" Her eyes rolled up as if she was about to faint.

"Keep you eyes open, Lorena !" He patted her cheek gently. He glanced at the main street outside. With his wand out, he disabled the wards he had set on his house from a distance. He also unlocked the house door, so that he could quickly come inside with her.

Severus took Lorena in his arms in a cradle carry and rushed to his house. Once inside, he laid her on the sofa, unclasping her cloak, removing her scarf so that she could breathe.

"Lorena, please, stay with me ! Love…" She seemed to feel a bit better, color had come back to her face.

"Alan… Alan…" she said softly.

"What happened ?" He was really worried now.

"Just before we Disapparated… I felt him moving all of a sudden…" Her breath was less labored. She put a hand on her belly. Severus removed it gently and put his own there. He could feel the baby moving inside to the point he thought for a second or two that the young witch would give birth here and now.

"I tried to tell you… but it was too late… Not your fault…"

"How do you feel now, love ?" Severus asked while massaging her belly gently. He also removed the Notice-Me-Not charm from her garments with a move of his hand.

She had a faint smile. He had called her 'love' but she said nothing. "Better, thank you… Though… I feel like I'm… bruised inside…"

"Do you think you've bled ?" His tone was dripping with concern.

"I don't know…"

"Lorena, let me check."

She moaned in protest, taking his hand in hers. "Lorena, let me see. I promise I won't do anything else to you. But we need to know if you have bled or not. Poppy Pomfrey will have both our hides if you've bled and did not tell me. Please !"

Severus put a hand on her thigh, ready to tuck up her skirt. Lorena's lips slightly parted. "Yes…" she whispered her consent while moving on her side, so that he could remove her garments easily. She could feel his warm hand on her thigh, sliding under the skirt. Then she felt his fingers gripping her knickers and lower them down. He spread her legs gently, enough for him to check if some blood had tainted her underwear.

"There's nothing, Lorena. You haven't bled, that's a least a good thing."

She must have felt relieved as he perceived she relaxed. He put her garments back into place and she relaxed even more. After every thing he had done to her already, he was glad that she could trust him a bit.

"Lorena, we go back to Hogwarts at once. Let me help you."

"Wait… Severus… Let Alan… simmer down… please…"

Severus gave in her plea. He just helped her to be more comfortable, sitting on the sofa and resting her head on his lap. He began to caress her face in a soothing gesture while his other hand was on her belly, motionless yet very present, in order to calm down the fetus he could feel under his palm. He felt her breathing becoming more regular though she was not sleeping.

"How do you feel now, love ?"

_Love ?_ she wondered. He had said it already several times. He had never done so before. "Better…"

"Alright, this is what we'll do. I'll call Ziggy and he'll go to the Hospital Wing and see Ms Pomfrey to advise her she should be ready to receive you. Then you'll travel by Floo and I'll follow you shortly. Can you do that ?"

"Yes, Severus…"

He called his house elf. The little creature popped in. "Ziggy, now pay attention. You'll go to Hogwarts Hospital Wing. You tell Ms Pomfrey there to get ready to welcome Lorena. Then you come back here with her reply. Understood ?"

"Yes, Master, Ziggy gone now !" The house elf disappeared in a cracking sound.

"Now we have to wait for his return," he said quietly while still caressing her cheeks and hair. "Everything's going to be alright, love," he said gently while stroking her belly. She put a hand on his there in a trusting gesture.

A few minutes later, the house elf came back. "What did she say ?" Severus asked.

"Master, she waits for you and Mistress Lorena now."

"Excellent. Now Ziggy, you go back to the same place and wait for Lorena outside the grate there. I don't want anything to happen to her. Tell Ms Pomfrey I arrive by Floo shortly after. Once she's with Ms Pomfrey, you come back to tell me that she's safe."

"Yes, Master, Ziggy will do. Ziggy gone !" And again, the creature disappeared.

"Now your turn, Lorena. You heard what I told Ziggy. Ms Pomfrey's waiting for you at the Hospital Wing." He helped get to her feet. She was still weak. She sagged in his arms before they arrived in front of the grate. Severus threw a handful of Floo powder in the grate. Green flames appeared. He pushed her gently into the grate yelling "Hogwarts Hospital Wing !" Lorena disappeared.

A few seconds later, Ziggy came back to inform his master that Lorena had arrived safely and was now in the capable hands of the medi-witch at Hogwarts. Severus thanked him for his help and dismissed him. He warded his house again, took his cloak and Lorena's that had been discarded on the sofa, and went back to Hogwarts by the same way Lorena had used a few moments earlier.

* * *

Poppy Pomfrey used a Levitation Charm to bring Lorena to the room she kept for sick staff members, so that the young woman – though not staff – could have a bit of privacy. She was aware that Severus would welcome this privacy too. Last but not least, Lorena's condition imposed caution. She was not supposed to be that much pregnant. No Death-Eater's child should be aware of that.

Lorena was still conscious when she found herself lying in bed. She had recognized Ms Pomfrey's voice. "Severus…" she called weakly. "Severus…"

"He'll arrive shortly, Lorena. Don't you worry. Now what happened ?"

"We were about to Apparate… when I felt Alan moving a lot in my womb… but it was too late… Severus had already cast the Disapparition spell on us… We arrived… I felt like bruised inside my body… my womb… my child…"

Poppy put a compassionate hand on the young witch's forehead. "That's okay, Lorena. Don't you worry. I'll ask Severus. For the time being, just relax, I'm going to run a few tests on you. In the meantime, do you know if you bled ?"

"No… Severus checked and he told me that… that I hadn't…" She felt no shame when mentioning that they had just had a somewhat intimate contact together.

"Good. Now for the tests."

Poppy checked if the concealment charm was still in place. It had been removed, most likely by Severus. _Good thinking._ She opened Lorena's shirt and roamed her hands over her belly. "Apparently, the baby's in place, Lorena."

She went on with the tests, this time with her wand. The tests revealed nothing. At this moment, Severus entered the room and went to Lorena's bed at once. He took her hand in his. The younger witch recognized it and felt relieved. "Severus…" she whispered.

"I'm here, love, I'm here."

Poppy said nothing, focused on the tests. Yet, she had heard the endearing term he had used. It was the first time she heard him use it for Lorena – or for any other person. He never used nicknames or endearing words, except to poke fun at people, most of the time cruelly.

This time, he seemed genuine. _Maybe he's taken my advice to heart,_ she thought. _My advice to be nice with her. Would be time._

"So, Poppy ?"

"I'll tell you in a few minutes. What happened, Severus ?"

"We had Apparated as per your recommendations, on short distances and with fifteen minutes between each Apparition. As we Apparated back home, on the last part of our trip, Lorena sagged against me, about to faint. I carried her home. She told me that she felt bruised inside and she was very pale too. I thought she may have bled. I checked, she had not." He paused. "I don't understand what had happened."

"Lorena told me that she had felt the child moving a lot in her womb just a split second before you both Disapparated. It may be that."

"Could it be possible ?"

"I'm not sure. Listen, Severus, I'd like to have a Healer's advice. I know someone in St. Mungo that works at the maternity ward there. I can ask her to come and check on Lorena."

Severus cringed. "We must be sure that this Healer will remain silent on anything she may learn here about Lorena. For everybody's safety, including hers."

"Healers are bound to confidentiality, Severus. You know that. It's just advice, I won't even need to disclose Lorena's identity to her. But the advice given is really worth having. There are things that I don't understand either, I must confess. This is a school infirmary, not a maternity ward."

The decision was quickly made. Severus agreed. "I will be here but under a concealment charm. Lorena…" he turned towards the young woman. "Lorena, listen to me. A Healer from St. Mungo is to check on you. You must not disclose anything about me as your child's father, no name, nothing. Your life and mine depend on your silence, right ? Remember whose child you're supposed to carry."

Lorena nodded in agreement. "The Dark Lord's…"

"Yes, indeed. You may say that your child's father is a wizard, that you are married, but that's all. I'll be there but invisible. Poppy, I rely on you for the same discretion. A Healer's life is too much precious to be wasted because of indiscretion."

"Yes, Severus, I understand. Stay here with Lorena, so that I can fire-call that Healer."

He nodded. "Just give me some time for me to cast the concealment charm before the Healer comes in."

"Will do." Poppy left them alone.

Severus took Lorena's hand in his. He brought it to his lips for a delicate kiss. The young witch was too weak to resist – she let him do. He caressed her cheeks, her hair. "Are you comfortable ?"

"Yes… Severus… thank you…"

He had a tiny smile – totally lost on her. He wanted to tell her he loved her but the words were stuck in his throat. "I care for you." It was all he could say.

"I think Ms Pomfrey's coming back," she said in a breath.

She was right. Poppy could be heard talking in the distance with someone else. The medi-witch entered the room alone, gesturing Severus she was not alone. The wizard cast the concealment spell on himself and retreated to a corner of the room, out of the way but with a full view on the scene.

The Healer entered. She was a lady about the same age as Poppy, in her mid-fifties. She had a no-nonsense look on her face. She went to Lorena's side and introduced herself. "Hello, young lady, I'm called Fiona Fergusson, Healer at St. Mungo maternity ward." She had a Scottish accent, not so different from Minerva's.

Lorena could not help thinking that the Healer had the same first name as her own mother. She had a soothing yet determined voice too. All this made her trust the older witch.

"Fiona, she's blind, she can't see you."

"Oh. No problem." She took Lorena's hand in hers. "How do you feel, young lady ? Poppy told me about your symptoms and the circumstances around your collapse. I'm going to run a few tests on you with my wand, nothing invasive."

She took out her wand which she past over Lorena's belly. "Mmmm… This baby's got loads of magic already." She remained silent for another minute. "Very powerful boy. A powerful wizard in the making, so to speak. You'll have to be very careful as far as his magical education is concerned. Poppy told me you're married."

"Yes," the younger witch said.

"Is your husband, the child's father, a Muggle or a wizard ?"

"A wizard."

"Then he'll have to be careful with the child too."

Hearing this, Severus thought about his father. He hoped he would not turn like him. He swore to himself he would do his best not to turn into the abusive father he had himself had.

"What's happening to me ?" Lorena asked. She could not make heads or tails of the Healer's remarks.

"It's a rather rare occurrence but it happens sometimes. I think your baby's magic interacted with your magic or that of your husband when the spell was cast. He was with you, I believe, when you both Apparated. Your husband's magic must have interacted with the child's when he cast the spell. Hence the havoc in your body. Don't be afraid, everything's going to be back to normal soon. In the meantime, you'll have to have rest for the next two days."

"You'll enjoy the weekend to rest, Lorena," Poppy said gently.

"Oh, a last thing : you're in your seventh month," the Healer went on. "Apparating is fine on very short distances. Yet, in your instance, I forbid you to use that spell until your delivery. The risks are too high now that your boy's magic may interfere with the spell. Apparition is advanced magic and it won't do any good if you use it in your condition, given that your baby's magic is already strong."

"Ma'am, how come… how come my child's magic is strong ?... I've read that kids' magic does not appear before the age of 4 or 5…"

"That's the rule. But as for every rule, there are exceptions. Your son is an exception. It happens sometimes, especially when both parents are very powerful. Your husband must be a very powerful wizard too. Am I right ?"

Lorena nodded. "He is."

"Don't seek any other explanation, young lady."

"What about my own use of magic ?... My use here at school during class ?"

"I suppose your teachers are aware of your condition already."

"Yes, they are."

"You'll have to explain to them what I've just told you. Every day magic is not a problem. Only advanced magic is. What are your classes ? I believe you're in last year here ?"

"I'm in sixth year."

"Oh. Right. What are your classes then ?"

"Potions, D.A.D.A., Charms, Arithmancy and Herbology," she said.

"Alright, you'll have to be careful with Charms and above all D.A.D.A. – these are the classes involving advanced spells. Be careful with Potions too but I suppose your Potions teacher here knows which potions can be harmful for a pregnant woman. He's a Potions Master after all."

_And he's my child's father, my future husband, a powerful Dark wizard too_, Lorena thought.

"I'll remind her teachers again, Fiona, don't worry," Poppy said.

"Yes, Poppy, that's very important, otherwise there may be other similar incidents. She may eventually give birth prematurely at best, or lose the child at worst."

"Can I still cast a Patronus charm if I need it ?" Lorena asked. "I know it's quite advanced magic…"

"You may cast a Patronus charm ?" the Healer asked with surprise. "A corporeal Patronus charm ?"

"Yes, ma'am," Lorena replied.

"Impressive, that's not something that is taught in sixth year, if my memory serves me well. You must be a powerful witch indeed."

Lorena said nothing. She wanted to ask about her elemental magic but that may be a way to identify herself. She ruled against it. _Elemental__ magic is my own brand of magic, a magic of life. My child should not fear it and it should not harm my child._

"Alright, Poppy, I think that you have all your answers, as well as the young lady here. If you need my help for the birth, you know where to find me."

"Don't you worry, Fiona. Thank you again for your coming here so fast. That's very kind of you."

"You're welcome. As for you, young lady, be careful and follow our advice. Poppy, also tell her husband that he should be very careful and gentle in bed with her from now on."

"He already knows that," the medi-witch replied with a smirk. She knew that Severus was in the room, that he would hear what the Healer would have to say on the subject.

"Excellent. Some men are not always careful and their wives are sometimes too much patient and/or loving, when they do not feel shameful, to admit they had been hurt during sex." She had a serious tone in her voice. At the same time, the Healer turned her gaze towards the corner where Severus was standing, still concealed under his charm. For a second or two, the Potions Master believed that he had been seen. But Fiona Fergusson turned her gaze towards the younger witch again and patted her shoulder kindly. "Take care, young lady. Everything will be alright, your boy is healthy. Birth is a natural process, not a disease. There's no reason that you cannot make it through. From what I've seen, you have the body to give children. Don't be afraid."

"Thank you, ma'am." Lorena thought bitterly that she had all the reasons to be afraid. Not because of the birth. Because of the Dark Lord's projects for her and her son.

* * *

_**Ah, a kind, careful Severus… I like him like that as much as when he is in a darker mode. Like Poppy says, "would be time" indeed.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! **_

_**The button at the end of the chapter is not just for looking nice on the page… So feel free to use it, eh ?**_


	104. All the loving

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**104**** – All the loving**

Lorena spent the whole night in the Hospital Wing. Poppy had ruled that she would rest there, in case her condition may deteriorate. The young witch had to remain motionless. When he learned what had happened to the young witch, Dumbledore decided to exempt Severus from his patrol duties in the castle for the night, so that he could spend the evening with the young woman.

Severus was glad to be able to spend the evening with Lorena. Not only he was truly concerned about her welfare but he wanted also to show her that he really cared. That was part of his plan to get her back. Yet, there was more than that. He wanted to be with her now he had realized how much he loved her.

He thought he would enjoy the weekend to buy two tickets for that concert in his home town, for Valentine's Day. Yet, he had to ask her out. _Ask her out !_ he thought, slightly amused. He had never asked Lily out. After all, she may refuse to come with him to that concert.

"Lorena…" he began unsure. Long time he had not asked a girl out. Thinking of it, he never had. He had always taken. Or bought. Taken without consent. Bought a prostitute.

"Yes, Professor ?"

"Lorena, there's a concert not very far from Spinner's End. It features some classical music. I thought you'd like to go and…" He had taken her hand in his. "I thought you'd like to come with me."

Lorena was puzzled by his proposition. Her face reflected that. They were alone in this part of the Hospital Wing, alone in the room for sick staff members. They could speak freely. Though at this very second, Lorena was mute.

"Would you like to come with me to that concert ?" he asked again softly.

As she did not react, he took out the poster he had carefully taken from out of his pocket and unfolded it before placing it into her hands. Out of reflex, Lorena searched her wand in her right sleeve. She took it out and began to read after casting _Yod Legimeo_ silently.

She read the date, the place, the works to be played, the composers' names. _For Valentine's Day ? What had gotten into him ? Not like him to do that…_ Her Slytherin mind whispered to her that he was up to something. Yet, she was touched by his intention. Her hand searched his hand, found it and touched it. With her contact telepathy, she tried to know his true intentions. Of course, he had Occluded his mind. However, he had felt her trying to probe his mind.

"You may search my heart, my soul, Lorena."

His honesty was at stake. He let her in. She was touched by this gesture. When she was done, she broke the physical contact. He was as usual, hiding his true feelings but he held no grudge towards her any longer – apparently.

"Isn't that a trap to punish me or whatsoever ?" she asked defiantly.

"No. Punish you for what ?"

"For… my affair with Alastor Moody," she managed to say.

He seemed to consider her answer. "No, Lorena. I don't want to hurt you anymore. I think I've done enough of this… hurting you," he whispered. _And hurting myself._

He was sincere and she knew it. "I believe you, Professor."

"Will you come with me then ?"

"Provided you give me your word that you won't… hurt me again."

"I think the Unbreakable Vow already provided for that," he replied with a sneering tone in his voice. If he had truly hurt her, physically, he would have been reminded severely by the Vow. Yet, he sensed this was not the correct course of action to follow. "Alright, I give you my word, Lorena."

"In that case, I accept, Professor." She wanted to go out indeed.

Severus smirked. He had been sure that Lorena would not resist the appeal of music. He had been right. He took her hand in his again, stroking it with his deft fingers. They remained for long minutes as such, in complete silence. At one moment, Lorena felt her son moving inside her womb and she took Severus' hand in hers to put it on her belly. The child calmed down almost at once.

"Alan really loves your touch, Professor," she said quietly.

"He knows I'm his father."

Lorena smiled at him. "Oh, yes he does. Professor, have you already heard of a child's magic manifesting itself so early ?"

"I've read there had been such cases when I studied to be a Potions Master. But it's quite rare indeed."

"I didn't dare ask about it in regard with my elemental magic. Not sure that the Healer would have known about all this. What do you think ? Is it in relation with it ? Could it be this ?"

"I don't know, Lorena. Honestly. But it could be indeed. Possible, very possible."

"Professor… do you think that the Dark Lord… if he knows about this…"

Severus closed his eyes, thinking. He knew what she meant. "Yes, Lorena. If he gets our child, his powers will be even huger than ever. Such a powerful kid…"

"That means he must not know that at any cost," she said coldly.

"I know. I'm aware of that, Lorena," he commented with a concerned tone in his voice. "I suppose the magic of the Unbreakable Vow will help me in this regard. I'll do everything in my power not to let the Dark Lord get to our child." His tone was serious, low, yet intense.

"Professor… Would you… would you be ready to…"

"To kill our own child so that his powers won't fall into the Dark Lord's hands ?"

She nodded. That was the question he dreaded most.

"I don't know, Lorena. I'll do all my best to avoid that course of action but…" His voice trailed off. "I don't know, to be honest. I hope I won't." He took a deep breath. "Alan's also my child. My child with you, Lorena." _Our love child._

Since he had admitted in himself his feelings for Lorena, his feelings for the child she carried – his child – had also changed. Severus felt not only more possessive of her, but also more protective of them both. They were his _family_. This feeling had disturbed him first but Severus had welcomed it eventually. He had never felt protected by his own father. While this little one… He would be there for him. _For Alan. My son. I'll protect him. _He had been afraid to be as abusive as his own father had been with him but no, he would do his best not to. He was sure that his love for Lorena would help him in this regard. _Maybe my father did not love my mother like he should have. While I love you, Lorena._ Silently, Severus made himself a promise : He would not become like his father.

They remained silent, each of them measuring the words of the other. Severus had still her hand in his. He enjoyed their silent moments together. After a while, Lorena felt sleepy. Severus told her to let it go. He would be there for her. He would stay until she fell asleep, holding her hand. Lorena felt a sweet sensation from her Love-Snakes ring. She was surprised but did not show it. She was too tired to react openly.

When he was sure she had fallen asleep, Severus released her hand. He stood up and rearranged the covers over her body. "Good night, love," he whispered before kissing her cheek gently.

He would have loved to stay there, enlarging the bed so that they could both sleep together in each other's arms. But he knew that Lorena may not be happy with that. He could not botch up his last chance to conquer her again. She had accepted to go out with him on Valentine's Day. He had to be careful now lest she may back off.

He knew that this time, he would do the hurting. Alone and definitively. Like he had done for Lily, long ago.

* * *

Valentine's Day arrived quickly. Almost two weeks had elapsed between that day and the moment when Severus had first asked Lorena out for the concert. He had time to buy two tickets.

In the meantime, his mood had somewhat improved. He had been his usual cranky self in class but he was no longer that hateful with the students and Lorena in particular. The young witch had come back in class and had noticed he behaved with her. He was no longer slinging scathing remarks at her – except for his proverbial nastiness, Severus still being Severus.

Valentine's Day was on a Saturday – as was the concert. Severus had managed to get an authorization for leave for the evening. In exchange, he had agreed to chaperone the students during their afternoon out in Hogsmeade. Not that he enjoyed this particularly but he knew that he had to compensate somehow for his evening absence.

Lorena had told her dormmates that her husband had invited her for Valentine's Day – which should explain her absence for the evening. All the girls approved joyfully, stating that he was a good husband and asked no further questions. Lorena could not help thinking that in sort of, she would go out with her husband – her future husband. As to being a good husband, that was a whole another story.

_Will Severus be a good husband ?_

She tried not to think about this. She had noticed his behavior had changed a bit lately. He had given up his downright nasty behavior with her to revert to his usual cranky self – as before. Before their break up.

She decided to focus on something else, more frivolous like what garments she could wear. Of course, she would wear her most beautiful outfit – the lovely green dress she had worn at the Halloween Ball and at the concert at the Malfoys'. She felt good in this dress. She may just have to adjust it to fit her growing belly. She went with the dress into the bathroom and changed quickly. She had planned to get ready while the other girls were in Hogsmeade. Now she was alone – all the Slytherins in her dorm being out there.

She took her time to get ready. She had magicked her dress so that it could fit her pregnancy while compromising with the concealment charm she cast on her garments usually. She remembered the charms Narcissa Malfoy had used on her and tried to reproduce them, more or less successfully. The magical mirror helped with accurate descriptions. About one hour later, she was ready to go.

Lorena decided she would check her homework. She completed a few exercises in Arithmancy and read again her next D.A.D.A. essay that she had already done. Otherwise, she was all set. She decided she would have a walk in the garden – the weather had been lovely for the whole day. She took her violin with her, put on her cloak and scarf and went out.

She stayed in the garden for another hour, before coming back inside. The castle was full of students again, back from their afternoon out in Hogsmeade. This time, nothing had happened there. She had not wished to go out as she wanted to have time alone to get ready for the evening. Besides, after the attack in November, she was sure that she would have been refused the permission to go out there, had she wanted to spend the afternoon there with the other students.

The concert was scheduled at 9pm. She would have time – and so would Severus – to have lunch in the Great Hall with the other students. She decided to keep her lovely dress on, just bearing her black school robes over it, though people could see she wore a long green dress under. The girls in her dorm asked her what would be her outfit for that special evening with her man. She just opened her school robes to reveal the dress and the little baby bump. Her housemates complimented her.

Severus had asked her to come to his office right after dinner so that they could travel to Spinner's End by Floo. Once there, they would walk to the phone booth and catch the bus from there. The concert hall was downtown, not very far, about a mile away. Lorena took some Muggle money with her she put in her dress pocket.

As soon as dinner was over, Lorena left the Great Hall and went to her dorm to fetch her scarf and cloak, before going to the Potions Master's office. He was already there, waiting for her. He let her in quickly, checking that nobody could have seen her.

He had put on his cloak over his usual attire. But one detail had changed. Tonight, he had removed his Love-Snakes ring from its chain under his garments and had put it to his right ring finger. He wanted to show her that they would go out like a couple tonight. They were a real couple.

However, someone had seen them. Draco Malfoy. The young man was curious to know who Lorena's husband was. He expected him to come and fetch her at the castle. He was disappointed. He did not know that a pregnant woman, as much advanced in her condition as Lorena, could no longer travel by Apparition. He was surprised to see her enter his godfather's office. Maybe her husband was inside – after all, Professor Snape was her Head of House, and therefore responsible for her. He decided he would wait for them all to go out of his office. He hid himself in a dark recess in the corridor, with a full view on the Potions Master's office door.

Nobody ever came out.

* * *

Severus had instructed his house elf to make sure that Lorena arrived safely in Spinner's End. He sent her there by Floo, following her shortly. Once in his home place, he checked her again, removing the bits of soot from her cloak before doing so from his. He also checked the hem of her dress was clean too, with a careful gesture. Lorena let him do. She loved when he was caring with her.

She felt his presence close to her. She put her hands on his chest, her fingers going up and checking his tie and collar, in a similar caring gesture. Severus gathered her intention and let her do. So far, everything had gone according to plan. His plan.

"You're beautiful, Lorena," he chanced it. He was rewarded by a smile and a 'thank you' from her. "Let's go then." He disabled the wards, they went out of the house, then he put the wards back into place. They left for the bus stop nearby the phone booth they knew so well. They managed to catch a bus for downtown. A few minutes later, they got off. Severus knew his way in his home town, though he had not been there for ages. He guided Lorena with a possessive arm around her shoulders or her waist or on her back.

The concert hall was full of other people, mostly couples. Severus did not feel out of place as he was with a lovely lady too. A weird sense of normalcy crept up in his mind – they were a couple like any other.

There were couples of all ages – young, middle-aged or elderly people. Everybody seemed to enjoy the occasion. Nobody paid attention to them. They were there to enjoy good music. Severus had no idea if the orchestra would be good or not. He did not know them though he suspected that students from a music school may not be that bad if they could perform in front of an audience. Well, his own experience as a teacher told him that the worst or the best could come out of it. Besides, he did not really care. He was there with Lorena, out of Hogwarts, alone with her, to share with her something they both enjoyed – music. That was the most important. He would try to make her understand that he cared for her, that he wanted to behave with her, that he had feelings for her. If he could.

They entered the amphitheater to sit. As Severus had been among the last people to buy tickets, they found themselves in the last seats at the back of the hall. Nonetheless, they had a good view over the scene as they were seated higher. Lorena did not care as she was blind. She reassured him that the higher they were, the better the sound would be. He trusted her judgment.

The other advantage was that there were not so many people around them. Severus did not intend to snog her but he would feel less embarrassed to show her a bit of tenderness, even in public. The seats were comfortable. They talked about the program. Then the lights around them went dim.

The orchestra entered the scene under a round of applause. The concert was supposed to last a bit less than one hour. The Music School director made a small speech to introduce both the school and the program – not so differently from Albus Dumbledore at each start of the year dinner, which amused Severus to no end.

The first piece was Ravel's _Bolero_. A few seconds after the piece had started, Severus felt Lorena take his hand. Through her contact telepathy, he could hear her telling him in his mind the names of the various instruments which entered the piece, one by one. Drum and flutes. Clarinet and a touch of cello and harp in the background. Bassoon. Clarinet again. Oboe. Horn. Trumpet. Sax, most likely baryton. Oboe again. Piccolo. Celesta. This one rang a bit more in his mind. Severus remembered this was an instrument Lorena's mother used to play. Trombone. Then the whole string section with the whole horn section too.

Her comments in his mind did not prevent him from listening to the instruments. In fact, it was useful. He made a mental note to ask her if she knew the piece or if she just recognized the instruments thanks to her acute and trained hearing.

All these instruments added up to create a unique harmony. The crescendo was enthralling. Lorena's voice in his mind became silent – she was surely enjoying the music. He could feel her hand gently gripping his own, as the relatively simple rhythm bewitched their ears. Severus even thought that somehow, music was similar to the art of potion-making : exact yet subtle.

Once the piece was over, the whole audience gave a hearty round of applause. Lorena's hand left his to clap her approbation. "What do you think ?" Severus asked her.

"They're not bad for a school. I'd even say that they managed to give something really decent. I enjoyed it." Severus wanted to smile : she had made a compliment just the way he did in his potions class. Praising with a good dose of understatement.

The following pieces were excerpted from Bernstein's famous work, _West Side Story_, played here as instrumentals only. During the break, Lorena explained to Severus that this was something to be seen – which sounded strange in the mouth of a blind person. This was a musical, a performance mixing music, song and dance, one of the most famous. The orchestra was heartily applauded for their performance, especially at the end when they finished with the famous _America_ piece.

After the break, the concert resumed. Severus was glad to see that Lorena had the time of her life. He enjoyed it too. The concert went on with several pieces from Gershwin, from his _Rhapsody In Blue_ to several instrumental excerpts from his opera, _Porgy and Bess_, among them a piece that Severus recognized. _Summertime_. Lorena had already played and sang it. Here, it was a different but nonetheless beautiful rendition.

The concert ended with the last piece to be played tonight. The school director introduced the work from Samuel Barber to be performed. The _Adagio for String_. Severus felt Lorena gripping his hand with hers. He watched her. Emotion was on her face. He perceived she had felt his ring on his fingers.

"Oh, Severus…" she whispered. He never knew if she had said his given name because of the piece of music, or of her discovery that he was wearing his ring on his finger. He rounded her shoulders with his arm, dragging her closer to him. Her head rested on his shoulder. He took her hand and brought it over his heart, on his chest, his fingers entangling with hers.

Lorena could feel he was in a tender mood tonight. She loved it. _If he could be always like that… _The piece began. _Their_ piece. Severus was intrigued by the music. The only version he knew was the work arranged for one violin only. Now he would listen to the real deal, with a whole string orchestra.

He had to admit that the full-orchestra version was very moving too. As the music went crescendo, he grabbed Lorena closer to him, his hand gripping her hand tighter, as if he wanted never to be parted from her. That nothing could take her away from him. The music went crescendo – and so his emotion. He could not contain it any longer. He turned his head towards Lorena's and put a delicate kiss on her forehead. Through their close physical contact, their bond, their Love-Snakes, Lorena had felt his feelings for her. She could not believe it yet they were there, powerful and intense. She sent him a love wave. Severus felt the tickling on his ring.

_I__ still love you, Severus._

He heard her thought in his mind. Yet, this time, he could not say her love was unrequited. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her too but the thought was still stuck somewhere in his soul. He was not sure if he thought it, that the words could reach her mind. So he did the only thing he knew that would convey his feelings.

The crescendo matched the intensity of his feelings for her, though he could not express them. The tickling on her Love-Snakes ring grew more and more intense with the crescendo in the music.

He stroked her face gently, then put a kiss on her temple. "Oh, Lorena…" was all he could utter in a whisper so low that the young witch was not sure if she had heard him say her name.

The music burst out in a silence that lasted for about a measure, before resuming in a soft mood that suited them both. Had they been alone, with nobody around, for sure Severus would have given her a real lover's kiss.

"Severus…" she whispered. She had felt a love wave escaping from him. She was surprised by this outburst of feelings coming from him. She turned her head towards him. He caressed her cheek tenderly.

The orchestra was thoroughly applauded. Severus had found them good, even for music school students. _If all my students in Potions class could be as good as them at least in their final year at Hogwarts…_ he could not help thinking a bit bitterly. Maybe these were particularly gifted while the ones he had in his class were just dunderheads. _Well, they are just dunderheads._

He left his thoughts about his class there. He did not want them to spoil his lovely evening with the woman he loved. They left the concert hall quickly so that they could catch a bus back to Spinner's End. They remained silent for the whole trip back. Yet, something had changed. Their hands were entangled with each other's, with more force than ever, as if they did not wish to be lost for each other ever again.

_I don't want to lose you, Lorena. Never more._

* * *

_**Probably the very first time Severus asks someone out for Valentine's Day. So he feels a bit awkward. I work hard to keep him in character.**_

_**Once again, music can help him to express his feelings and move on with Lorena. Music is there to help them get together again. **_

_**As for Draco Malfoy… I've just introduced a twist in the plot. More to know later how this is going to evolve. Just keep an eye on him.**_

_**Please rate and review ! **__**Thanks in anticipation ! **_

_**You love that story ? So feel free to express it ! The muses will be pleased.**_


	105. All the hurting

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**105**** – All the hurting**

Once back in his home in Spinner's End, they still felt under the spell cast by the music on them. They had truly enjoyed the evening together. Lorena had perceived that he had really wanted to _please_ her by inviting her to that concert. Severus, on his side, had felt she did not repel him, she even had shared moments of complicity with him when using contact telepathy – in one word, she had wanted to be _pleasant_ with him. All in all, for the both of them, the moment had been magical, priceless. A moment they would both treasure dearly, whatever may happen between them after.

After was now. What would they do now ? Would they come back to Hogwarts by Floo ? Would they… ?

Severus took her hands in his. Feeling she had not pushed him back had quieted down his own inner insecurities. "Lorena ? Would you agree with… spending the night here ? With me ? I mean you still have your room upstairs. You'll be in your bed and me in mine, of course. I don't want to put pressure on you."

He had spoken softly yet everything had come out in one single, unsure breath.

The young witch seemed disturbed. Severus could read on her face her inner struggle. "I've told my dormmates that I'd spend Valentine's Day with my husband, to justify my absence of tonight. I guess… it'd be more prudent for me to spend the night here. They would find it strange that… that I don't stay with…"

"With your husband ?" he replied with a smirk on his lips, his tone reflecting his irony.

She grinned slightly, realizing that he had spoken the truth. Somehow. Not exactly. "Well, sort of. Unless all this had been a way for you to drag me into your bed ?" Her tone had suddenly lost its humorous quality.

"If you wish to spend the night with me, Lorena… in my arms… I don't mind. But I want you to know that… I won't force you. Even if I want you like mad," he finished saying in a husky whisper.

She felt troubled and he saw it on her face. She turned her face away – not to show disapproval or even disgust. But to hide her trouble. "After everything that happened between us… I don't think it'd be a good idea if we share the same bed now, Severus. Sorry about that."

He still had her hands in his. "Understandable." This was the very first time they alluded to their falling out. Maybe now was the time or never to get this out of the way – once and for all. Severus knew intuitively that they would never make any progress in their relationship if they did not talk about it. "Lorena… I want you to know… about the letter you sent to me…"

She trained her face at him, a hurt look on her features. "Oh, Severus ! Please ! Forget about that stupid letter of mine… no, you can't forget, of course… I'm sorry about it… I'm sorry because I hurt you !"

Lorena was aware too that she had to get rid of the ghosts of the past. The letter was one.

Severus removed her cloak and scarf. He took off his own too. The garments landed on the sofa. "Come with me, Lorena. Let's sit and have a talk, you and me." He pushed her gently towards his armchair. She opposed no resistance when she felt he dragged her onto his lap after he had sat there. "Come here."

They sit comfortably, their bodies remembering how good it had been then, last Summer, when they used to sit like this, in each other's arms, for a bit of reading, chatting or snogging. "Are you comfortable now ?" he enquired, a gently pat on her belly, indicating he alluded to her pregnancy. "I think you may remove the concealment charm now. We're alone here, nobody's going to check on how advanced your pregnancy is."

"Yes, you're right, Severus." Lorena took her wand out and removed the charm. Her belly expanded suddenly. Once she was done, Severus put a possessive hand on it, while he slid his other arm around her shoulders, so that he could have her very close to him, her head resting on his shoulder.

How much he had longed for her to come back to him like this ! He managed to retrieve a piece of paper from one of his frock coat pockets. "Now for the letter."

"I know you can't forget it, and all the harm it may have caused to you but please… It had been silly of me. Please, destroy it !"

"Shhh… Lorena, listen to me first. True, that letter did hurt me a lot. Hence my hateful behavior with you and your classmates last month. I was in an even fouler temper as I had thought I had lost you forever. However… I won't destroy it."

He stopped. He was at a loss for words. "How can I say it ?... I've never been sent such a letter, Lorena. Nobody had never, ever, written a letter like you did, to me… with so much love contained in each word… I can't destroy it. I just simply can't."

"You can't say that !" she said while sitting upright on his lap.

"As I've told you, I've never received any love letters in my whole life. Yours is the first. I cannot compare. Yet, I think that this… I'm sure it is… one of the most beautiful love letters a man can dream of receiving from his…" _Beloved_. "From his woman."

Lorena was puzzled – and it showed on her face.

"I always carry it with me. When I feel lonely, I get it out and I read it. Do you want me to read some of it ?"

Lorena wondered if this was a new idea of his to torture her. With regret or remorse. "Severus… please… don't..."

"I mean it, Lorena." He unfolded the letter and began to read excerpts he had underlined. He had read them so many times that he knew them almost by heart.

_My love for you cannot be destroyed. (…)_

_I just want you to know how much I love you. I want you to know how much I was happy with you__ in that cave, last Summer, when you taught me lovemaking. I shall never forget. How much you were a candle in the dark of my night – and a candle in the dark is brighter than the sun. (…)_

_I love you unconditionally – and will always do so. (…)_

_N__ever forget that my love for you is undying. Just take good care of yourself, don't let anyone hurt you in the line of duty. I know how courageous you can be. So please... be careful. You're the bravest man I've ever met. (…)_

_Too much love will kill us in the end. __I love you – unrelentingly. (…)_

Lorena had remained silent while he was reading. She felt both ashamed for all the hurting she had done to him and at the same time, sad, so sad, for their failed romance. Her words – her own words – in his mouth, sent her back to her unrequited love. She did all the loving and he did all the hurting.

Severus, on his side, had just realized that these words could have been written by him to her. These words were exactly what he thought about Lorena _now_. When he had finished, they remained silent for long minutes, in each other's arms. Yet, their silence was less and less embarrassed. They just enjoyed being like that.

Severus chanced it and put a delicate kiss on her hair while hugging her closer to him. She coiled herself against him. She felt good in his arms. She wished she could stay there for the whole night.

But not in his bed. She was not ready for that yet. She perceived that Severus was not as comfortable as she was. "Severus… I hope I'm not too heavy on you…"

"No, Lorena, you're not," he replied gently while brushing a lock of her hair away. He had gathered that she had felt he was not at ease.

"Tell me, Severus, I can feel there's something nagging at you."

He sighed. "Yes. Tell me one thing, Lorena. After you gave that letter to me, what happened… between you and… Alastor Moody ?"

She gathered where he was leading her. She decided to play it honest. "If I went to him after I broke up with you ? Is that what you mean ?"

"Yes."

She sighed. "Promise me you won't be violent with me."

"I promise. I just want to know."

She took a silent breath. "I hadn't broken up with you to be with him. That wasn't my intention. It just happened that we met and… and we… we became lovers, yes."

"You already were," he stated coldly.

He was alluding to the two times Lorena had had sex with Moody during the Christmas break. She decided to keep her cold-blood. She would not let him spoil that evening. Yet, she knew that this conversation could help them go further.

"Alright. We became lovers _again_. I needed… love, care and attention. He could give these to me. But one day…"

He raised an eyebrow. "What happened ?" He was interested despite the fact that she had been with another man.

She blushed deeply. "I think you should use Legilimency on me, Severus."

This time, he was intrigued. People did not like Legilimency and Legilimenses in general. It also showed her how much she trusted him. "Did he hurt you ?"

"No. _I_ did." She had her eyes trained towards his face, hoping he would use Legilimency on her.

Severus seemed hesitant but after long seconds, he cupped her face with a hand, his dark gaze diving into her empty pale gray eyes. "_Legilimens_," he whispered.

Lorena felt him enter her mind. It had none of the brutality he had previously displayed to wring the truth out of her. She let him access freely the portions of her memories that were relevant to their present discussion. Of course, there were no images as such, as she was blind, but a collection of sounds and feelings, memories that she reconstructed from her impressions and sensations.

In her memories, Severus could hear her making love with Alastor Moody. He had recognized their voices. It hurt him to hear her having so much pleasure between another man's arms. Up to the moment when he heard her scream in her climax. Scream something he had not expected. Something he had expected the least to be heard in such a situation.

His given name, repeated several times, shouted at the height of her pleasure – a pleasure given by another man – then dying on her lips as if she had just exhaled her last breath.

Then he listened to the conversation between Alastor and Lorena, up to the moment when she had decided to leave his room, including the whole row over the merits and qualities of their respective houses, over the Dark Lord's projects for her child… and over Severus.

The Potions Master withdrew himself from her mind then. He had heard enough. She had not only screamed his name during lovemaking with another man than him, but she had also defended him and his reputation, his deeds, his honor, his sacrifices and his courage.

For long seconds, Severus remained silent, his heart and soul wrenched by emotion. Of course, he could understand Alastor Moody's reaction – he would have reacted in the same fashion. He would have even been angrier – and he had already been – if his woman had screamed the name of her lover while he was giving her pleasure. No, he was not so different from the ex-Auror.

Except Albus Dumbledore, Lorena had been the only person to defend him as such, so vehemently, so passionately. She may not have been faithful to him but she had remained truthful and sincere in her taking the stand for him.

"Oh, Lorena…" was all he could utter.

He wanted to kiss her but his emotion was too much overwhelming. He just hugged her closer to him, bringing her head to rest on his shoulder gently, caressing her hair with his hand, trying to come to terms with what he had seen and heard in her mind.

Lorena was the first one to speak, resuming her story. "So we broke up. He apologized for the row and I left him." A pause. "It could not be otherwise, Severus. Not only I love you but I cannot love another man than you." She bit her lip. "I realize that my love is unrequited but I can live with that."

"I care for you, Lorena, deeply." He could not tell her his feelings. Not yet. He was sure of her but he was not sure about himself. His inner insecurities held him back. "I care for you, love," he added in a whisper, hoping that would be enough and admission.

Lorena patted his chest gently. She could not feel the ring under his garment, on his chest, where she knew it would be. "Where are your Love-Snakes ?" she asked with concern for the tiny creatures.

"Here," he just said while removing his right arm from her shoulders. He put her hand on his so that she could feel he wore it at its rightful place.

"Oh, Severus !" Her tone indicated him that he had made a good decision to wear the ring on his finger.

"I thought it would please you if I wore it where it belongs."

"It does please me, Severus," she said while caressing his hand. "Don't forget to remove it, in case _he_ may summon you," she said softly. No need to ask who 'he' referred to. This time her concern had moved to the man she loved.

"Don't worry, I won't forget," he said quietly.

They remained as such for long minutes. Severus knew she loved him yet he had found her love to be in contradiction with her actions, such as breaking up with him or having sex with another man. He needed time to assimilate all this.

Her head rested on his chest. One of his hands rounded her shoulders while the other was gently roaming over her belly in a slight touch. Suddenly, he tensed, removing his left hand from her belly, his fist tightening to a ball.

"Lorena, we have to leave ! Now !" he hissed, obviously in pain and alarm. He could control both but not the Dark fire that ran through his left forearm.

Lorena perceived at once what it was all about. "_He_'s summoning you, isn't _he_ ?"

"Yes, let's go," Severus said between clenched teeth. He helped her move. For a few seconds, she was sitting on his lap, her buttocks on his maleness. He gripped her hips to help her get to her feet. The image of him making love to her in his armchair, in that position, made him wanton for her. He promised himself that one day, he would love her here, as such.

Once they were up, Severus grabbed their cloaks and scarves. He took a handful of Floo powder in his hand and threw it in the hearth. "Professor Snape's quarters in Hogwarts !" he said aloud before pushing Lorena into the green flames. No time to call Ziggy so that the house elf could check if she had arrived. Then he did the same thing again, this time for himself, after checking the wards were up around his Spinner's End house before leaving by Floo.

A few seconds later, they were both in his office. Lorena was there, a bit further away from the hearth to let him step in. "Severus…"

"Let me grab what I need," he told her in a clipped tone. She did not insist, remembering what Dumbledore had told her some time ago, that Severus was under pressure in his job as a double agent. She remembered the old wizard telling her to be patient and understanding.

Severus came back with his Death-Eater mask in hand and a heavy cloak on his shoulders. He had also put a vial of pain-killing potion in his frock coat pocket, as well as another one containing some blood-replenishing potion. He hoped this would be enough.

"Do you know why the Dark Lord does summon you now ?"

"No idea." He was ready. "Lorena…" he came to her, taking her hands in his. "Promise me one thing."

"Anything, Severus."

"Go and tell Dumbledore I've been summoned. That I have no idea why. That Ms Pomfrey should be ready. A last thing : you may enter here by using the password 'Aconitum'. That way, the wards will recognize you and you won't need to disable them to enter or go out. You may come and stay here anytime you wish."

She felt moved by that sudden token of his trust. She know how much private he could be. "Oh, Severus ! Thank you, I will, of course, but keep positive thoughts." She squeezed his hands. "Oh, your ring !" she remembered.

"You're right !" He was happy she had thought about it – he had almost forgotten in his haste. "Take it… Take it…" He had not time to put it back on its chain. He slid his Love-Snakes ring from his finger and put it in Lorena's palm, which he closed gently.

"Severus… Be careful, please. Come back to me."

"I will."

"My love is with you, to protect you."

"I have the medallion with me."

She smiled at him. "I love you."

"I know." He hugged her a last time, before putting his lips on hers for a brief yet amorous kiss. "Be careful, you and our child."

"I will."

He pushed her away gently. Then he Disapparated by putting the tip of his wand on his Dark Mark, over his garments.

* * *

Lorena was alone. She sighed, wiping the tears she had held back up to the moment the man she loved had gone. She slid Severus' Love-Snakes ring to her biggest finger, so as not to lose it. She took a deep breath and put on her scarf and cloak to go out. She went out whispering the password and found herself in the corridors. Now she had to go to the Headmaster's office, hoping she would meet nobody in the meantime. She was well aware that this was curfew now. She was supposed to be in bed in her dorm or at least in her common room.

She had no idea that her sweet exchange with Severus had had a witness.

* * *

_**Trust Voldemort to ruin a perfect evening. When I think that some men wonder why they are single… Wait ! Lord Voldemort never wonders why he is single. He's got Nagini after all.**_

_**I hope **__**I've still kept Severus in character. Feel free to tell me if I go way too much astray in this regard !**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	106. An uncomfortable truth

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**106**** – An uncomfortable truth**

Draco Malfoy had been fed up waiting in a cold corridor for almost one hour. A part of his brains told him to give up, that this was not his business, that he should not meddle in other people's lives. To put it in one word, this was complete _nonsense_. Yet, curiosity had been the strongest. When he saw that nobody had come out from Severus' quarters, he assumed that Lorena and her husband must have left by Floo. Though he did not remember if his godfather's quarters were linked to the Floo network. There was something weird going on.

He did not wish to come back to the Slytherin common room either. Pansy Parkinson had been nagging him all week long that he should spend Valentine's Day with her. He did not want to. He felt nothing for her anymore. He just enjoyed a quick shag with her. He still had the memory of the evening spent snogging with Lorena. He scolded himself – the girl was a Mud… err, a Muggle-born. Well, he had to reckon he had enjoyed it a lot. Lorena had proved to be a good friend too – even if he had not shagged her. All the contrary of Pansy Parkinson.

An evening with his godfather, in his quarters, seemed much more appealing, thinking of Pansy. Draco enjoyed Severus' presence – he knew the man was far different from class once in private. Their relationship was like that of family members. Well, Severus was almost family. Draco held his godfather in high esteem. Severus never put pressure on him to be the best pure-blood around. He just put pressure on him to be the best student – as he would with any other good student. The Potions Master did not care about blood status, being himself a half-blood only. Severus was not the type to scold him for snogging or shagging a Muggle-born, for example. With him, Draco could be more himself. He greatly valued that freedom. A freedom he did not have with his own parents, his father in particular. Severus may be brutal yet he had never raised a hand on him – contrary to Lucius.

So he knocked at the door, expecting his godfather to open it any minute. Maybe Draco would even glean some interesting tidbits about the identity of Lorena's husband. Worth trying.

The young man began to grow suspicious when nobody came to open the door for him. On account of their particular relationship – and on Lucius' insistence – Severus had given Draco the password to enter his quarters, provided it remained confidential. Draco had proved loyal to his godfather in this regard. Maybe the Potions Master had accompanied Lorena and her husband out. Severus was not the kind of man to chaperone a young woman while she was with her husband but maybe he had himself a date or whatever.

_Severus ? A date ? No…_ Draco thought with a smirk. He entered the quarters and found nobody. He checked the other rooms and found them deserted. Intrigued, the young man decided he would wait for his godfather here. Curiosity was still the strongest. If it was only a matter of accompanying the young woman to her husband, he should not be long before coming back. Draco took a book from a shelf and began to read, his wand at the ready.

It would always be better than having to put up with Pansy anyway. Solitude has its advantages sometimes…

He sat in a corner nearby the hearth, away from the passage in case Severus would come back by Floo.

And he waited. He waited… well, for quite some time. He had picked up an interesting book and lost track of time. Up to the moment when he heard a sound coming from the hearth, then green flames. Out of reflex, Draco cast a concealment charm upon himself non-verbally. Ready as ever.

He was not ready to see what he was about to witness though.

He first saw Lorena step out of the hearth. Fine. Except that he found her bigger than she was usually. Maybe the school robes had been masking things a lot. She was shortly followed by Severus. Up to now, nothing weird. His godfather had come back with his charge. Yet, Draco found strange that a young bride may have not spent the whole night with her husband – especially on Valentine's Day.

_With such a lovely girl like Lorena as my wife, I would have kept her with me to spend the whole night with her in my bed ! What kind of husband is that ?_

His questions found an answer quickly when he heard and saw the tender exchange between Lorena and Severus. His housemate had called his godfather by his given name – a privilege that the dreaded Potions Master would have surely not granted to any student, even those in Slytherin. The only exception was Draco himself but only in private and because of their special 'family' ties.

Moreover, he had given her the password to his quarters. At this point, Draco was all the more puzzled. _I must have missed something…_

He had to repress a loud gasp when he heard Severus and Lorena talk about a ring. He saw his godfather remove a ring from his finger and give it back to Lorena. _A ring ? Would he be… her husband ? No, that could not be possible… _Though he did not remember having ever seen a ring on his godfather's hand.

His doubts were fully confirmed when he heard Lorena tell Severus she loved him, when he saw his godfather kiss her briefly but passionately. _Merlin's pants ! He's her husband ! And so… she carries… his child ?_

Draco was all the more surprised to see that the Potions Master could Disapparate from his quarters – he had always believed that Apparition/Disapparition was not possible inside Hogwarts grounds and premises. _Hogwarts : An History _must have been wrong at some point. Unless…

He had also recognized the Death-Eater garb that Severus wore. _He's one, fine, but in that case, why does he want Dumbledore to be informed of this ? Would he be… ?_ He did not dare elaborate further on it. He knew from his parents and his aunt Bellatrix that Severus Snape was spying on Dumbledore for the Dark Lord. A real spy would not inform the one he spies on of his projects and whereabouts. Something was wrong there. Very wrong. _Was Aunt Bellatrix right then ? She always says he cannot be trusted. Mother replies that the Dark Lord trusts him. That if the Dark Lord trusts him, therefore we should._

Draco realized that he had just learned two very important pieces of information. He just did not know which one was the most shocking. But he was sure of one thing : if the Dark Lord knew about them, the situation would become tragic for both Lorena and Severus.

* * *

Draco removed the concealment charm he had cast upon himself once Lorena had left Severus' quarters. It did not take him long to decide what he would do next. His housemate would go to Dumbledore's office. He would lead her there. He had gathered that his godfather's life may be at stake once he was back. The faster Dumbledore knew, the better for Severus in the end. And maybe, she may open up to him and tell him more about all this.

He had also taken a decision he had not measured the effects thereof at once. Of course, he would keep shut about Severus' involvement with Lorena. He would keep shut about his godfather playing a double game with the Dark Lord. This one promised to be easier said than done. Nonetheless, he would do nothing that could cost Severus his life.

Draco was not a Death-Eater. Not yet. He was well aware that his father wanted him to become one and follow his steps in the Dark Lord's service. Bellatrix was enthralled at the notion too and kept repeating him how grand it was to serve the Dark Lord. Yet, Draco was no fool. As a consummate Slytherin, he had his own agenda – an agenda that did not include the same plans than those laid out by his father and his aunt.

First he had doubts that the Dark Lord would become the next wizarding absolute ruler in Britain or even in the world. Second, Voldemort was creepy. He had already met him in the past and these slit, red eyes held nothing engaging. He had been all the more interested when his aunt Bellatrix had begun to teach him Occlumency. He had also asked a few tips about it from his godfather, when Severus had noticed that his godson had been taught that branch of magic. Last but not least, Draco could be many things, all not always very nice. But he was sure of one : he was not a criminal. Poking fun at Muggles and Muggle-borns was one thing. Torturing, raping and killing them was completely something else. Something he did not wish to witness and even less carry out. A stay in Azkaban was definitively _not_ on his agenda either.

And now, not only his godfather was a double-agent but he was also married to a Mudblood ! A Mudblood that carried his child ! Draco ran after his housemate. He would help her. Not for her sake – for Severus'.

He spotted her on the ground floor, nearby the main stairs. He ran after her, Occluding his mind tightly before they may enter into physical contact. She had heard someone running in her direction but did not know who it could be.

"Lorena ! Lorena… Eh, wait for me !"

She sighed with relief when she recognized his voice. "Draco ! What are you doing here ?" she hissed, trying to keep her voice low.

"I could ask you the same, you know. Besides, remember, I'm a prefect. I'm free to go wherever I want to. Anytime."

"I must go and see the Headmaster for an emergency. I can't tell you more so don't even think of trying to quiz me on that."

"I won't but let me guide you there. You'll go faster. If that's an emergency, you can't refuse my help."

"So Slytherin," she said with a scornful tone belied by a small grin on her lips. "Alright, let's go."

Draco took her arm in his hand and they made it towards the Headmaster's office in silence. He had noticed too that she did no longer appear as big as she had been in Severus' quarters.

* * *

Once in front of the gargoyle keeping watch before the staircase to Dumbledore's office, they both stopped.

"Now, how are we going to do to access his office ?" Draco asked.

"_We_ ? No, Draco, I appreciate your help but you stay here. I'm the only one to go and see the Headmaster."

Draco wanted to tell her he knew everything already but changed his mind. Now was not the moment. Lorena was probably not the person to tell either. Severus was a better choice. Well, he was not so sure. Maybe the best option was to keep shut forever and forget about all this.

"Alright then. I'll wait for you here. But after that, you'll tell me what you were doing in Professor Snape's quarters before I caught you."

Lorena froze in her tracks. "What ? What are you talking about ?"

"Don't play it innocent with me, Lorena. I saw you coming out of his quarters." He smirked. "Having a fling with our Head of House ? After all, it's Valentine's Day today !"

She swallowed hard. But she remained in control of herself, though hoping none of her emotions had shown on her face, even briefly. "That's none of your business, Draco," she replied coldly.

"So, what happened with him, that you left his quarters so quickly ? I tell you right now : Don't even try to slander him to the Headmaster."

"That wasn't my intention," she replied tartly. "Now leave me, Draco. I've got some unfinished business to attend."

She left him there and turned towards the gargoyle. "_Acid Pops_," she said, hoping the Headmaster had not changed the password in the meantime. She was lucky – the gargoyle moved away and let her in. She stepped in. Draco was aware that his only chance to know more was to follow her. He cast the concealment charm on him again and sneaked his way right behind her, just before the gargoyle blocked the access to the staircase.

The staircase revolved to lead them to the office door. Lorena knocked on the door. Draco remained one step behind.

"Come in !"

Lorena pushed the door and stepped inside. She just pushed the door behind her. Draco blocked it ajar with his foot, so that he could still hear what would be said.

"Oh, Lorena !" Dumbledore said when seeing her. "What happened that you come and see me at such a late hour ?"

She closed the door behind her and followed his voice. "Professor, it's about Sev… Professor Snape. We were together and he's been summoned by the Dark Lord ! He asked me to tell you at once."

Dumbledore came to her and took her hands in his. He led her gently to a chair and made her sit. "Now, tell me, Lorena."

"We were in Spinner's End. Professor Snape had asked me out and brought me to a concert for Valentine's Day. We had come back to his home place and…" She lowered her head, blushing. "He was very nice with me. We were chatting together when… when he felt his Dark Mark burning. We came back to Hogwarts by Floo and he left, asking me to inform you of this."

_So this is it,_ Draco thought. _My godfather asked her out ? Well, not surprising if they are married. Our dear Head of House is not that jerk many people believe him to be after all. He can behave._ The young man smiled. He felt happy for his godfather while wondering how the two of them had managed to end up together.

"Professor, he was… he was scared !" Lorena went on.

"Scared ?"

"He had no idea why the Dark Lord had summoned him. He told me that Ms Pomfrey should be warned in case he would… he would come back wounded." She paused. "I gave him my protection and he left."

Dumbledore smiled to himself. "You remembered what I had told you, that Severus needed protection. You did fine, Lorena."

_Severus does work for both the Dark Lord and Dumbledore,_ Draco concluded. _Double agent, for Dumbledore, against the Dark Lord. Knowing the latter, rather dangerous a job._ The young man could not help feeling proud and anxious for his godfather.

"Now, if you wish I can escort you back to your common room," Albus said gently.

"No, that won't be necessary, sir. Draco Malfoy intercepted me in the corridors and he offered to guide me here, to make it faster."

"Draco Malfoy is here with you ?" The Headmaster asked suddenly. There was a hint of alarm in his voice.

"Yes, sir… Why ?"

Lorena could not see Albus Dumbledore's face but she had perceived something similar to concern, even anxiety, in his voice. "Why, sir ?"

"You must not tell him anything about tonight ! Otherwise, Severus will be vulnerable !"

"He already tried but I sent him packing, that this was not his business. No doubt however he will try again."

Draco smirked. _Too late, I know already everything._ Yet, he had perceived in the Headmaster's tone that his godfather's life was on the balance. He heard the genuine concern in Dumbledore's voice. He resolved to keep shut more than ever – that is, tell nothing to his parents, relatives and friends. Fortunately, his Occlumency skills were good now. He pondered if he could ask for extra lessons from his godfather on the subject. Just to perfect his skills. _If he comes back._

"I trust your Slytherin mind to find a valid excuse for coming up here then. You're aware that his father is a Death-Eater. Draco may be tempted to tell everything to his father, in particular that Severus is a double agent for me and the Order."

Albus' explanations confirmed Draco's doubts. He gasped silently. Now, he began to understand Lorena's fears.

"I am, sir. I'll do my best to hide this information from him. From what I've perceived, Draco's learned Occlumency but he's not a Legilimens. Well, not yet."

"Legilimency is much more difficult to master than Occlumency. In this regard, you're better equipped than Draco, Lorena, with your contact telepathy. Be careful anyway. Now you may leave. Thank you for advising me."

"Will you… tell Ms Pomfrey ?"

"I will, don't worry. You'll be the first one to know when Severus is back."

Lorena said nothing. Of course, she would be the first one to know. She had resolved to spend the night in Severus' quarters. Except that she had to get rid of Draco to go back to the Potions Master's quarters without raising suspicions.

Draco left the staircase and went out in the corridor where he canceled the concealment charm cast on him. He realized the importance of what he had witnessed and heard. He was troubled. He quickly Occluded his mind, sending his trouble back into the farthest recesses of his mind so that nobody could discover it and the reasons why.

Lorena left Dumbledore's office. Draco was still there, a concerned look on his face. He came to her and took her arm in his hand. "Are you finished with the Headmaster ?"

"Yes. Let's go back to our common room." She would get there and then leave surreptitiously the Slytherin area for the dungeons.

"Do you want to tell me what prompted you to go and see the Headmaster now ?"

"No, Draco, I won't. Please do not insist." Her tone was final and the young man knew it. He did not insist. In fact, he did not need to. He already knew the truth. The whole truth. The uncomfortable truth.

They made the way back to the Slytherin common room in silence. Lorena had not Occluded her mind so that her perception of the young man could be open completely – he was not a Legilimens after all. On the other side, Draco had Occluded his mind and she could not perceive a lot. In sort of, he was becoming more and more like Severus.

They reached the dungeons without meeting anybody. As they approached the common room, Draco thought about Pansy – and the scene she would make to him when he crossed the threshold.

"Err… Lorena, I have a favor to ask you."

"A favor ?"

"Yes, you see, Pansy's been nagging at me for that Valentine's Day stuff. I spent it on my own – better be alone than in bad company, if you see what I mean."

"I do. Honestly, Draco, good looking as you are, don't tell me you didn't find a girl in the whole castle to spend the evening with you ?"

"Err… no, actually. All the girls in Slytherin are afraid of Pansy. They don't want to tread on what she considers to be her turf. Me," he said sarcastically.

The expression made Lorena smile. "Well, I'm not afraid of her. And there are other girls in this castle than the female cowards of Slytherin," she scolded him gently. She knew where he was leading her. "Don't ask me what I suspect you're going to ask me !"

"Yes, Lorena… please help me !"

"Draco, I've spent the whole evening with my husband ! How do you fit in ?" she hissed with an exasperated look on her face.

"Please, Lorena, we're good friends, no, you're my only good friend. Don't let me down ! Not now and not with that she-dragon !"

Lorena sighed deeply. _She-dragon, you bet ! For someone called 'Draco'…_ Truly, the only courageous Slytherin was still Severus in her opinion. She did not know what to do with him. At the same time, she did not wish to let him down either. "Listen, we may say that you were with me and my husband. That he's got a relative he had asked you to meet for tonight, so that she was not alone with us. We just got back from our respective dates."

"Yes, that sounds plausible."

"Make it so then. Invent anything along these lines. Don't fail me !"

"I won't ! You're a real friend, Lorena !" Draco took her in his arms and kissed her on the cheek.

"Please, Draco, let go off me. You're not supposed to show affection to _me_. I'm just a Mudblood, remember."

"Yes, but you're not _any_ Mudblood." His tone had something joyful, almost _tender_. Brotherly for sure.

He smirked. He gave the password to enter the Slytherin common room, his hand still on Lorena's arm to guide her. There were still students in there, boys and girls. Lorena bid goodbye to Draco very formally. He replied in the same manner and made it quick before Pansy got a hold of him. He had not seen her in the common room but one was never too prudent with her. Lorena went directly to her dorm.

She changed quickly into a plain dress, with a nightgown under. She put on her school robes and waited for the common room to empty. After half an hour, there were still a few students but she could not wait any longer. She chanced it. She felt good and cast upon herself a full concealment charm – despite the Healer's advice. She knew this was advanced magic, she should not use it on herself. But it would be only temporary, for a few seconds, time for her to get out of the Slytherin common room. She was lucky as the door was separated from the room itself by a corridor. Nobody would see the door opening by itself to let her out.

Lorena slid herself out of the common room and made a beeline towards Severus' quarters. There, she removed the concealment charm, gave the password and entered his apartments quickly. She released a deep breath once she was inside. The bit of advanced magic she had just performed had not interfered with her child's magic.

She could not feel Severus' presence. Apparently, he had not come back yet. _Good._ She went to the sofa in front of the hearth and decided to wait for him there. She did not wish to fall asleep so she picked up a book in his library and began to read, wand in hand.

About two hours later, her patience was rewarded. She heard the cracking sound of Apparition in the sitting-room. "Severus ?" she called tentatively.

All she got was a hissing sound of pain. She went to him at once, found his body sprawled on the floor, still wrapped in his Death-Eater cloak, his mask in one of his hands. In his other hand, there was another metal object she recognized at once when her fingers felt it.

The Snape medallion.

* * *

_**I'm fond of Draco. Really. And I know some of you here are too. He's an interesting character to play with. He's ambiguous enough for me to have a field day with him. **_

_**Now the question is : Whom will he remain faithful to ? His father ? Severus ? This is probably the first test he has to pass as a young facing a tough decision to make. That should not be the last.**_

_**For sure, now truth has become uncomfortable for Draco.**_

_**Please rate and review ! **__**Thanks in anticipation ! The muses are hungry and angry when they receive nothing… I do my best to avoid their curses – and managed to do so – but if one day I stop updating, you'll know why.**_


	107. A fighting chance for love

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**107**** – A fighting chance for love**

Lorena found Severus' face and caressed it. She tried to assess his wounds. He had none - fortunately. But he had been Cruciated heavily and he was still feeling the aftermath of the curse. She called him gently, slapping his cheeks gently to bring him back to his senses.

He came back to himself a minute later or so as she was trying to soothe his pain with her elemental magic. In fact, it had been the magic pouring down his body that made him come around. His first thought was for her. "Lorena ! Don't do that ! Think about our son !" he managed to say forcefully. Elemental magic may be a second nature for her, it still remained advanced magic. "I feel better, that's okay, just stop !" he said while trying to remove her fingers from his face.

Lorena realized his words and ceased her healing magic on him. "How do you feel now ?" she asked softly, her hands still on his face.

"I'm okay. The Dark Lord wanted to have fun tonight. He said… for Valentine's Day, that we should enjoy ourselves with a bit of sex…"

Lorena knew what was coming next. She braced herself.

"Some Death-Eaters had kidnapped a few Muggle women. To have fun. They began to… to rape them and they wanted me to… to do the same." He paused, feeling through their physical contact, that Lorena had stiffened. "I refused. The Dark Lord punished me with the Cruciatus. One never refuses the Dark Lord's gifts, he said."

"You're telling me that you preferred to… to be Cruciated by him rather than… raping these women ?"

He nodded. "Yes, Lorena… I don't want to do this anymore… I just… want… you…"

She was surprised but hid it. She helped him sit on the floor, holding him against her. He had an outburst of tremors, sequels to the Cruciatus, and she remained with him, cradling him tight against her, his head on her bosom, resting above her belly. "It's okay, it's over, shhh…" she said softly, caressing his cheeks, his jaw line, his hair, his forehead. She even kissed him there, out of reflex and compassion.

"Let me help you, Severus," she said once the tremors had subsided. She tried to get up to her feet but all she managed to do was rolling over him. She felt his arms circling her dilated waist before one of his hand made its way up to her neck. Severus dragged her head down to him for a shy kiss first, then a more sensual one. A kiss in which he put all his need of her, his despair, his love.

They managed to stand up together after long minutes spent kissing as such. Severus would have loved to take her there but he ruled against it. No, he would make love to her in his bed, not on the floor as if she was any filthy prostitute.

"Let me bring you to your bed, Severus." Lorena supported him while he was guiding them to his bedroom. Once there, he sat on his bed and let her take control. She managed to remove his heavy cloak off his shoulders. He tried to unfasten the buttons of his frock coat but his fingers were still shaking. She did it and took off the garment. She did the same with his waistcoat, then his shirt. He still had the Snape medallion in his other hand. Lorena left it there, if its magic could help him, so be it. She felt his body with her hands to check if he had not been wounded or even bruised. She could not smell blood either, which was a good sign.

Severus took her hands in his to remove her fingers from his skin. "Don't do that to me, witch ! You may live to regret it," he slurred dangerously, a sensual purr in his voice.

Lorena said nothing, she had perceived his thoughts, his desire of her, his lust. She had to admit that her fingers on his body may trigger off reactions in him that she would not be able to follow for the time being. He was warning her and she backed off, only helping him to lie on the bed. She removed his boots and his socks – less dangerous an action in her opinion.

She spread a blanket over him. "You should be warm enough like this," she whispered to him in his ear.

He grabbed her wrist with a force she had not suspected he may have in his weak condition. "Lorena… stay with me… please…"

He felt she was reluctant. "I can stay here in your quarters, the sofa is comfortable…"

"No ! Here… with me… please, Lorena… remember… last Summer… you had spent… the night… in my bed… here… with me… please !"

He was begging. Literally. _Severus Snape begging ! _

"I promise you… nothing will happen… but please… stay !"

Lorena pondered his words. After all, she had been ready to spend the night in Spinner's End with him – though in separate rooms. He was begging. She gave in.

"Alright, I'll stay, but be aware, Severus Snape, that I have my wand and my elemental magic with me. Don't try anything silly or… you may live to regret it."

Her tone belied her words. She had threatened him with his own words. He chuckled a bit, having gathered her humor. "Come here, Lorena…"

"Wait, I want to be comfortable." She removed her shoes and her dress, along with her school robes. She slid herself under the blanket in her nightgown. She felt Severus' body against hers, his free hand searching and finding hers while his other hand had the Snape medallion still clutched between his fingers.

It was the first time since their falling out that they shared the same bed. Not they had planned this actually to happen but at this stage, neither of them wished to complain. Soon, Lorena heard him breathe steadily and softly, sure sign he had fallen asleep. She followed suit a few minutes later, somehow reassured that he was back here, safe, alive and in one piece.

* * *

On the day after, Severus woke up. He felt better, the Cruciatus side-effects had gone. He would just look exhausted but the appropriate potion would help him achieve a full recovery.

He realized that he was not alone in his bed. Lorena was there, asleep. He watched her. Despite every thing he had done to her, she had stayed with him. She had helped him, she had taken care of him. _She loves me and I love her._ He smiled and stroked her cheek gently with the back of his fingers. She stirred in her sleep but did not wake up.

He still wanted her – more than ever. Yet, he did not feel in the mood to have sex this morning. He was tired. She would not be consenting. He had to report to the Headmaster for the last night summon.

Severus got up silently, took clean clothes in his wardrobe. He went to the bathroom to have a well deserved bath. A bit of relaxation was all the more welcome before going back to war.

Because they were at war now. At least, the Dark Lord considered the situation as such. Severus sighed. He thought about Lorena and wondered how he would do to preserve her to the best of his abilities – not because of the Unbreakable Vow, but because he loved her truly.

_I'll think about it later. _

He let his thoughts wander about Lorena – much more enjoyable in his opinion. The evening had been sweet with her. The concert had been good and he had loved the pieces performed. He hummed the joyful tune of 'America' of Bernstein's _West Side Story_ – which had pleased him most. He also remembered the _Adagio for Strings_ with emotion. Yes, he enjoyed music and he had to admit that he enjoyed it even more with Lorena.

The young witch woke up when she heard the sound of water pouring in the bathroom. It took her long seconds before realizing where she was. Not in her bed, for sure. The events of the night before came back to her. She was in Severus' quarters… in his bed… No, they had done nothing, he had been in no condition to do anything anyway. The _Cruciatus_. If he was on his own in the bathroom, that meant he was fit enough to take care of himself. She felt good then and smiled.

At this moment, Severus went out of the bathroom, fully clad in his usual Potions Master's regalia. He came to her side. "I can see you're awake, Lorena," he said softly while stroking her cheek.

"How do you feel, Severus ?"

"Reasonably good. Tired but I'll be fine, don't worry. And you, did you sleep well ? If Poppy knows what you did to me yesterday, she'll have my hide."

Lorena giggled. "Well, she allowed me to have sex but not to perform healing magic ? Not very consistent…"

He chuckled. "You're right but I think she doesn't need to know."

"No, she doesn't. I'll keep quiet about all this." Lorena's hand found his cheek which she caressed. "I'm so relieved to know you're back to us, safe, Severus."

"What did you do when I left ?"

"I went directly to Professor Dumbledore's office, as you had instructed me to do. I met Draco in the corridors and he was kind enough to guide me there so that I could get to the Headmaster's office quickly." Sensing him stiffening, she put a finger on his lips. "Don't worry, I told him nothing. He tried to make me talk but it didn't work. He led me there, went back with me to our common room. He even owes me as I was his alibi to escape Pansy Parkinson."

"What do you mean ?" His tone had become cold. Through contact telepathy, Lorena felt he was… jealous. He remembered she had spent a whole evening snogging with the young wizard.

"She's been nagging at him to spend Valentine's Day with him. I agreed to help him – he would say he has spent the evening with us. My… husband has invited him to meet a girl of his family to spend the evening with. That's all. Nothing more."

Severus relaxed – a bit. She went on. "I scolded Draco that he could have sent Pansy packing and find himself a girlfriend for the evening. He's not married with her after all. This castle is full of lovely girls that dream of being asked out by him. He replied to me that all the Slytherin girls were afraid of Pansy's possible retaliation. I told him then that there are other girls here, in the other Houses. That he doesn't need to resort to the coward girls of Slytherin."

"You told him that ?" This time, Severus was amused.

"Yes. I know that courage is not our House main quality – though I know one exception to confirm the rule. Yourself." Her hand stroked his cheek then his raven hair.

"I'm afraid that the only courageous girl in Slytherin is _you_, Lorena. But you're already off limits." _You're mine._

Lorena giggled. "Oh, Severus ! What do you mean ?" she said teasingly.

"It means that…" He watched her hungrily. _I love you._ "It means that… if you agree… we could try to… to start our relationship all over again, Lorena," he whispered.

She sat up on the bed to face him, her hand leaving his face, as if she did not wish to touch him. Severus braced himself for the rejection that would come surely as fast as a Snitch could fly in a Quidditch match.

"Oh, Severus…" she murmured.

"You don't want me anymore. Understandable." His voice was not cold – just sad. "I won't… interfere with your life anymore." He got up from the bed, about to go out.

"That's not what I meant." Her voice was clear. She had got up from the bed, stepping towards him.

He turned towards her slowly. "What did you mean then ?"

"We could try indeed. I still love you. But I need time, Severus. Please. Let's take it… gently… like yesterday evening. I really enjoyed the concert and your company. That had been a nice attention of yours." _If only you could always be like that, Severus._

He could read how sincere she was. He came to her, taking her hands in his. Her empty pale gray eyes told him everything. He did not need to resort to Legilimency to read it in her eyes, in her soul, that she still loved him indeed. "Severus, I do love you. I will always love you. But if you can give me… give us… enough time to… to put aside… what had parted us, and keep only what had united us, so I'll be all the more willing to give us a chance."

"I'll take that chance then, Lorena. I won't spoil it." He took her in his arms and hugged her desperately. He felt her arms around his waist, up his back, her breath on his neck. He wanted to tell her how much he wanted her, how much he craved for her touch on his body, for her kisses. He took her face between his large hands. His dark gaze devoured her with intensity. "Yesterday night… when I was Cruciated… I thought about the kiss you had just given me, before I left you here… It helped me go through it… Your love… protected me… I want you to know it." He kissed her on the forehead, on her cheekbone, before ending on her lips, delicately. "We'll take our time, Lorena," he said. "I can promise you that."

He caressed her cheek again, tenderly. "I have to go and see Dumbledore. Stay here, Lorena, up to the moment I'm back. I don't want you to go out of my quarters, with students or staff witnessing. Wait for me. Please."

"I will," she said softly with a smile.

"You may use my quarters as your home. Feel free. Just don't leave the place."

He left the bedroom after glancing at her a last time. He may trust her but he would change the password on his way out. He knew his godson had it too and Lorena was the last person he wanted the young man to discover here.

* * *

_**A new start between Severus and Lorena ? We'll see… Slytherins are known to seize opportunities and not waste them.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_

_**Muses are like Love-Snakes : they need to be fed properly. Love-Snakes need love, muses need reviews… so you all know what to do, don't you ?**_


	108. Debriefing and confession

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**108**** – Debriefing and confession**

Severus sat in front of Dumbledore in the Headmaster's office. The old wizard was happy and relieved to see his Potions Master and spy alive and well.

"I'm ready for the debriefing, Albus."

"I'm listening to you."

"The Dark Lord wanted his Death-Eaters to have fun. Some of them had kidnapped Muggle women to torture and rape them. When I refused to take part in the revel, he Cruciated me. That was for the second part, which explains my late report. The first part should prove more interesting to you though."

"Don't worry about being late, Severus. I'm truly glad to know you're here safe with us. You made it back alive and in one piece. Go on."

"The Dark Lord believes the end is near. He thinks he should be able to take over the Ministry of Magic in a few weeks' time. I do not have the full plan yet but only bits he unravels little by little. However, he is perfectly aware that the biggest obstacle on his path is _you_, Headmaster. He's afraid of you. He tries to conceal it but it's obvious, at least to me. Before that, his objective is still to get Miss Nottingham's powers. He thinks that once he has gained her powers, nothing or nobody could thwart him. Not even you, Albus. Only getting her powers could relieve him of his fear of you he has in himself."

"That's true, Severus. Her elemental magic, placed into the wrong hands, could prove formidable a key asset for any Dark wizard that knows how to use them for evil purposes. Tom is one of them. She's our top priority then, in terms of protection."

"I'm afraid she's not the only one."

"Meaning ?"

"The Dark Lord asked his Death-Eaters who have children enrolled at Hogwarts, to have them to fight on his side. To have a sort of interior force that could help him by creating havoc in the school, so that he could get at you faster."

Albus Dumbledore smirked. "Tom must be either real mad or completely lost to have to resort to children to help him here. What a bunch of kids can do against witches and wizards like Minerva or Filius ? To name only them two. Alastor could keep them at bay on his own !"

"I agree. I suspect him to use Death-Eaters' children as an emotional leverage against their parents."

"Very plausible. How was received that order ? I mean, by the Death-Eaters in question."

"Nobody showed nothing to anybody. You know the rule. However, I've managed to use Legilimency on some of them. They won't disagree with the Dark Lord openly but they are scared for their children."

"Understandable. I suppose that many of them would love their sons and daughters to follow in their steps once adults. But not now. Not when still at school. Not so young."

"Your assumption is correct."

"Severus, I suggest you list all the kids whose parents are Death-Eaters, and that may be involved. You're the only one that can do this, you know their parents and most of these kids are in Slytherin."

"Some of them are in Ravenclaw too."

"Filius will help you then. We need to identify them to grant them protection when the time comes." He paused. "Another thing : Were there Death-Eater parents happy or enthusiastic at this very notion ?"

"Yes, one showed overt zeal. Yet, I don't know if this is the truth or just a show off."

"Who was it ?"

"Lucius Malfoy."

"I'm not surprised. Severus, I know Draco is your godson. An extra reason to keep an eye on him."

"I will, Headmaster. Because Lucius Malfoy was given another task. Or rather his son. A very specific mission."

"A mission ?"

"Yes. Young Mr Malfoy is part of the plan too. He doesn't know it yet. Lucius will have to inform him thereof during the Easter holidays. Or before. The Dark Lord had been impressed by Draco's action during the last attack on Hogsmeade in November. He firmly believes that Miss Nottingham was protected and saved by my godson while we all know that this was rather… a team work."

"I remember you had been severely punished then."

Severus' features showed a rapid emotion. "Yes. Instead of revealing Miss Nottingham's abilities at casting a Patronus charm and a Dark curse, I remained silent about her real part then. Draco will be in charge of bringing her to the Dark Lord."

"For the blood sacrifice ritual ?"

"Yes."

"The boy is in as much danger as she is then. If he fails, Tom will kill him once he sets foot here."

"Indeed."

Albus Dumbledore stroked his beard – a sure gesture he was in deep thinking. His silence lasted for long minutes. "Strange, I would have thought _you_ would be the one to do that. Are you still in Tom's favor ?"

"More than ever. The Dark Lord gave me another task." Severus lowered his eyes, sadness darkening his features. "I'm in charge of assisting him for the ritual. He's aware I know many things about blood magic and rituals. I'm his Potions Master, the only one in the inner circle he trusts to have enough medical knowledge for his purposes. I will have to…" His voice trailed off with a sudden emotion. "I will have to remove the baby from its mother's womb if it is not born yet." His voice croaked.

"But the baby will be born, Severus. Lughnasadh…"

"The Dark Lord wants this to be done by Beltaine !" the Potions Master cut off vividly. "Hogwarts will be full of students on that date, while there's nobody here during Summer. Besides, he thinks that Beltaine will be a much more powerful date – he believes in the old ways. He's aware that the baby won't be born then. He relies on my medical knowledge to do that." He swallowed hard. "Albus… He's asked me to kill the woman… the woman I love !"

Dumbledore did not know what was the most surprising news : the Dark Lord's gruesome plan or Severus' admission that he loved again. That he loved Lorena. _He took his time but here we are. At last._ He could read pain in his Potions Master's dark eyes.

"Did you talk to her about all this ?"

The younger wizard shook his head. "She doesn't know anything."

"Let's keep it like this, Severus. No need to worry her, not now that she enters a critical stage of her pregnancy." He sighed. "That's a lot of things that you just learned, Severus."

"I was already aware of some of them. But I needed a confirmation from the Dark Lord before giving you the information."

Albus nodded. "Indeed. We need to be methodical. First, you must identify all the kids concerned by Tom's plan here at Hogwarts. Filius, Minerva and Pomona will help you for those that do not belong to your House. You'll submit me the list as soon as possible. Second, I'll think of a plan to protect them, as well as Draco Malfoy. Honestly, I'm not surprised that Lucius was enthusiastic. However, I believe that another person may disagree."

"Narcissa Malfoy," Severus stated.

"Yes. Do not underestimate a mother's love."

Severus wanted to reply that his own mother's love had been particularly missing during his own childhood. "Malfoys stick together. She told me that one day. As surprising as it may be, Albus, but Lucius may not be what he appears to be in this instance. He may have just showed off in front of the Dark Lord but inside, he'll do everything in his power to protect his only heir."

"Yes, you're right. _Malfoys stick together_, she said… Interesting. It may prove useful then to reveal Lorena's family connection with them then."

"She's not a Malfoy !"

"No, she's not. Yet, technically, she's one-eighth Malfoy, a distant relative of theirs, but still a relative. We'll keep that information as extra leverage. I suppose that a mother like Narcissa may be receptive to another mother's plea, I mean, Lorena, in this instance."

"Manipulating her, Albus ?"

The Headmaster had a grin. "You keep telling me that I should have been sorted into Slytherin, Severus. I won't disappoint you. Like you won't disappoint me, my _Gryffindor_ friend. Severus, you're the bravest man I've ever met. You'll be with Tom then. For the ritual. We need to know where he will perform it. Has he already discussed it with you ?"

"Not yet. I have to suggest him places."

"And ?"

"I thought about it already. Stonehenge. The Forbidden Forest. Our cave, where we had performed the virginity ritual. I must come up with a proposition by early March."

"I'll think of that too and will give you some input." He watched his Potions Master closely, trying to assess his mood and state of mind.

"Severus, Lorena came to see me last night to inform you of your absence. You were with her, weren't you ?"

Severus locked his dark gaze with Albus' steely blue eyes – pretty much like he did with the Dark Lord. "Yes, I was. I had asked her out to go to a concert in Spinner's End."

"And you were summoned then ?"

"Yes, after the concert. We went back home. I had asked her to spend the night with me there. When I was summoned, we came back by Floo to my quarters at once."

"Did she patch you up ?"

"She was there to help me go back to my bed. I've been Cruciated only."

"Where is she now ?"

"Still in my quarters, where I had asked her to remain. She… She helped me go through the side-effects of the Cruciatus." He averted his dark gaze, suddenly embarrassed.

Albus did not insist. He knew what that meant. The young witch had spent the night in the same bed as Severus. The older wizard knew about their falling out, when he had discovered Severus in his office, after the younger wizard had mutilated his forearm in an atrocious attempt to remove the Dark Mark. He had never talked to Severus about it, letting them sorting out their relationship together, not meddling this time – for once. He just concluded that they had come back together. He was relieved somehow. Though he did not know the whole truth – that Severus and Lorena's reconciliation was partial, very recent and still fragile.

The only new element was that Severus had confessed his love for her – at last. To the point he had been able to voice it to a third party. Albus decided to start from there to get more information from his Potions Master.

"Does she know that you love her ?"

Severus shook his head.

"Then you know what to tell her then, my son."

The younger wizard scowled at the Headmaster, who still watching him with his usual twinkle in his steely blue eyes. "I believe I have nothing more to tell you about last night's summon. You know everything. May I leave ?"

"Of course, you may, my boy. I want you to have rest first before carrying out the tasks you have to do. I'll inform Poppy that you are alright. I had asked her to be ready for you. No need to keep her on her toes."

"Thank you, Headmaster."

"Oh, Severus !" Dumbledore peered at him. "Just one piece of advice. I suggest you should start by apologizing to Lorena first, and repenting for what you've done to her. That will surely be a good start." In front of his Potions Master's puzzled dark gaze, the old man continued. "Just a hunch I got," as if he had read in Severus' mind.

What did he know about his relationship with Lorena ? The younger wizard was sure that Albus Dumbledore must have used Legilimency on him or whatever else to talk like that. No, that could not be possible, a highly-skilled Occlumens like him would have felt the intrusion in his mind. Maybe Dumbledore had used Legilimency on Lorena last evening, when she had come to him to inform him of the summon. Of course, Severus had no way to know that the Headmaster had read Lorena's farewell letter. He could ask her then if she had talked to the Headmaster but his pride decided he would not. He could not bring himself to tell her he should apologize and repent. He could not even tell her he loved her !

He shot one of his trademark death glares at the older wizard. He hated that, when Dumbledore told him things, leaving him under the impression the old man knew everything going on in the castle. He left the Headmaster's office, his dark school robes billowing behind him.

Yet, maybe the old man's advice would prove useful… Maybe it would be worth trying after all.

* * *

_**The Dark Lord's plans begin to be more precise. As for Severus, his own plans to conquer Lorena again are on their way**__**. Was about time. **__**And for once, Albus is not meddling in other people's lives !**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! **__**Yet, the muses are still hungry… and I need encouragements.**_


	109. No other chance

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**109**** – No other chance**

Severus came back to his quarters, Dumbledore's advice still ringing in his mind. Apologizing and repenting, as if that were easy ! But once he was in front of his quarters door, he had decided he would do so. He needed to strengthen his relationship with Lorena. That was a way like any other.

He entered his quarters and found the young witch in the sitting-room, on the sofa, with a book in one hand and her wand in the other. He smiled at the view. She would not lose a minute to learn something new. She had heard him though because she had turned her head towards him. "Severus ?"

"Yes," came the even reply. He sat on the sofa with her. "What are you reading ?"

"A book you have here, about blood magic. There's an interesting part about… love-bites." Her voice had an almost ironic undertone.

Severus knew what she meant. He eyed the side of her neck where he had bitten her to assert his possession of hers. Maybe this could be a good start. "Err… Lorena… I…" He was at a loss for words – he knew how really bad he was at this.

She rose from the sofa. Severus did the same and grabbed her arm gently. "Listen, Lorena. I don't know how to put it because… it's not in my nature to do this."

"Do what ? Biting your partner during sex ?" There was an edge in her voice. Severus knew he had to act quickly.

_Quickly but not stupidly._ He was careful.

"No ! Well, I'm aware I'm a possessive wizard…" His words failed him so he resorted to gestures. He knelt in front of her, his two hands on her belly, as if he wanted to grope it. "Lorena, I apologize for the harm I've done to you and our son." He put his head against her prominent belly. "I'm sincere."

Lorena had heard him whisper his apologies. She was surprised though. She had never imagined that a man like Severus Snape would apologize. Down on his both knees.

"I love you… my son," he murmured in a barely audible breath. Yet, Lorena's acute hearing heard him say. She felt moved. _At least, he loves one of us._

He was opening up a bit, at last. She decided he was on the right road and had to help him – not confront him. She took mercy on him. She put her hands on his head, caressing his hair gently. It took him long seconds to realize her gesture.

"So you don't… despise me ?"

Lorena could feel how unsure and vulnerable he could be when he let go. She realized the reason why he never let go. Too dangerous – his inner insecurities could cost him more than his pride. They could cost him his very life too. She prompted him to stand up. It was as if a whole another man was now in front of her. He towered her, his hands were still on his belly, caressing her there gently.

"No, Severus, I don't despise you. How could I ? I love you," she said simply.

She could not see the expression on his face. His dark eyes were devouring her with a rare gleam : lust combined with love, possessiveness mingled with admiration. He wanted to tell her he loved her too but he could not. He just could not. Not yet. So he let his gestures speak for him. He pressed her against him delicately, her head resting on his chest, one hand around her shoulders, the other caressing her cheek.

"Lorena, would you agree to spend the day at Spinner's End with me ? We could read and discuss. We'd be far away from here."

They had planned to do so the evening before after all. She gave him a tiny smile. "Yes, why not."

"I promise you that I won't make any untoward advances or gestures to you. We'll be back here as soon as you wish to."

She perceived he wanted her to trust him. He wanted to show her she could trust him. "I want to try, Severus. Try to trust you." She had an understanding tone, stating thus she had gathered his purpose. Yet, there was a hint of warning. He'd better behave. Severus knew it. This was his chance and he knew he could not blow it up high sky. Because he would have no other.

* * *

They went to Spinner's End by Floo. Lorena wanted to know more of the Severus Snape that had just knelt in front of her, that had behaved reasonably well on the night before, that promised to be as gentle as the man that had loved her in the cave last Summer. She wanted to have that man back too. She was aware that loving a man and not being able to be with him, would be a very difficult position to hold.

They had their meal there, in the kitchen, like in the old days last Summer. They also spent the rest of the day in the sitting-room, Severus in his armchair, Lorena on his lap. They read most of the time, talked a bit. He did not disclose what he had told to Dumbledore earlier. He would wait for the Headmaster's instructions to do so. No need to spoil such a charming day either.

"Oh, Severus, there's one thing that I have to return to you," Lorena said at some point during their conversation. She removed the Love-Snakes ring she still wore. "I think this belongs to you." She handed him the ring which he took in his hand.

"Thank you, Lorena, for looking after it on my absence. I'll put it back on its chain later. I'll wear it on my finger – where it belongs – for today," he said gently. He watched Lorena, he wanted to kiss her like mad but decided he would not. He did not wish to go too fast, to the point she may wish to go back to Hogwarts now and abandon him. He held her firmly against him instead, the only gesture of love he could express.

They remained silent after this. Severus did not even kiss her – he only caressed her belly gently or her hair or her cheek. She was surprised that he had not even tried. Her contact telepathy informed her that he was careful, aware of threading on thin ice, with her. He wanted to take it slowly, as per her wishes. _He really wants this to work,_ she thought. She could not help wondering about his motivations and feelings. But he was as usual, unreadable, even for someone of her perception. He had Occluded his mind tightly. When would he let his guard down ?

She decided to let it go for the time being. It was so good to just taste the present moment, coiled in his arms, on his lap, his warm body against hers.

By six o'clock, they decided to leave Spinner's End and go back to Hogwarts by Floo. He made her leave his quarters after ensuring that nobody was lurking in the corridors then, that may spot them.

"Thank you, Severus, for this lovely Valentine weekend," she said softly before kissing his cheek.

The Potions Master watched her go back to the Slytherin common room. He was quite happy – except for the interruption of the night before, courtesy of the Dark Lord, every thing had gone right this time.

Severus raised his eyes to whomever on high. His dark eyes were filled with something he had not felt in a long time.

Hope.

* * *

By the end of the week, Severus had completed the two tasks set for him by Dumbledore : the list of the students that may be involved in a battle on the Dark Lord's side, on account of their Death-Eater parents, as well as several suggestions as to the places where to accomplish the gruesome blood ritual on Lorena's child.

The Headmaster was happy with the outcome. He knew how Severus was trustworthy and reliable – even if he was the only one on the Light side to believe so. He shared this opinion about the younger wizard with Lord Voldemort apparently.

Albus put aside, in his secret drawer – which contained his most important documents, most of them concerning the Order of the Phoenix – the list set up by Severus.

He also studied the suggestions for the place of ritual. After long minutes spent reading, he watched his spy. "My boy, I've thought about it too on my side. You have good ideas but you'll suggest only one place to Tom."

"Which is ?"

"Tell him to perform the ritual in the Shrieking Shack. He knows the place, it's not very far from here, accessible through different ways."

Severus' charcoal gaze glittered. He was not particularly fond of the place. Bad memories threatened to come back vividly. He banished them away and focused on the present moment. "Yes, I haven't thought about it, that's indeed a suitable place. I will, Headmaster."

"I trust you will, Severus. Just let's hope that Tom will agree to our suggestion," the old wizard said with a smile. "Now we have a more pressing matter at hand. George Nottingham's parole. You informed me that he should be freed on February 28th. In about one week's time, according to the Release Order you gave me."

"Yes, Headmaster."

"Fine. I'll take care of him personally. I cannot take the risk of you fetching the man if the whole thing is to be witnessed by Death-Eaters sent by Tom."

"The Dark Lord did not mention that event at all. To be honest, I don't think he's even aware of it."

"Better be safe than sorry. He may be aware of it without us to know it. He may act on it. Besides, I'm almost certain that he's the one who had killed Lorena's grandmother and her two children. Him or people under his orders. No, Severus, I have other plans for you in this regard. Leave George Nottingham to me. I'll be assisted by Kingsley Shacklebolt."

"What are your plans ?"

Albus Dumbledore seemed to ponder what he could tell the younger wizard. "Alright. Here's the plan. Me and Kingsley will fetch George Nottingham. We'll bring him to 12, Grimmauld Place. On your side, you'll take care of Lorena and bring her there too, so that she can meet her father. We'll have to explain everything to him and she'll be a key asset in convincing him we do speak the truth. It's going to be quite a shock for him."

"Indeed," came the sole reply from the Potions Master.

"Severus, I don't want you to explain this to her now. You'll bring her to me here on the evening before. We'll do it together. If she approaches you before that moment, you'll tell her that I'll inform her in due time. Reassure her." He glanced at his Potions Master. "I believe you and her have a close relationship now."

Severus narrowed his eyes onto the old man, suspiciously. But instead of asking for details about how he may know, risking thus more exposure of his love life, the younger wizard preferred to keep it to a minimum. "We do."

"Good. Keep it like this. You shall bring her to me on Friday evening." He watched his Potions Master. "Don't worry, Severus. Everything will be alright."

* * *

Things had been fine, class-wise. Severus had reverted to his usual cranky self in Potions and D.A.D.A. – to the students' relief. He had not lashed out at the students because he felt miserable, like he had been the month before further to Lorena's break-up with him.

He had even been more careful with her during the D.A.D.A. lessons, keeping in mind the order given by the midwife healer from St. Mungo. No advanced magic to be practiced by the young mother-to-be. He was attentive while keeping his distance with her, so as not to raise suspicions.

Save for one student. Draco Malfoy. The young man had decided to keep a closer look at Lorena and her interaction with his godfather. Severus showed nothing more than carefulness for a pregnant student from a technical point of view, a student of his own House moreover. Nobody thought ill of his behavior. On the contrary. He was considered as responsible.

Yet, Draco knew the reality of Lorena's and Severus' relationship. He wondered how he could let his godfather know that he knew. Well, was that so wise after all ? Draco did not wish to be forbidden access to his godfather. He had to think of a very Slytherin way to tell him that he knew. And approved.

* * *

_**I hope I've kept Severus in character while showing his vulnerable side. Because I truly think he is.**_

_**Draco is still his good ol' sneaky self – but we like him like that, don't we ?**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_

_**The muses are still hungry… incredible… I don't remember eating as much… LOL But reviews are indeed still much appreciated.**_


	110. Revelations

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**110**** – Revelations**

As scheduled, Lorena was brought to Dumbledore's office on the eve of her father's release. The Headmaster explained to her the plan to pick him up. He would go to the jailhouse gates with Kingsley Shacklebolt, another wizard, friend of his. At the same time, she would be brought to 12, Grimmauld Square, London, by Severus, through the Floo network, to welcome her father there. Dumbledore made no secret that he would need her help to convince her father that the musician was a wizard.

The Headmaster gave her back the sewing box containing the various family records. She would have to bring them to the Order Headquarters. With these instructions, Lorena and Severus left the office by Floo – the Headmaster's office had been connected to Severus' so that Lorena may not have to walk all the distance between the Slytherin area and Dumbledore's office, especially in case of emergency. Severus had also agreed that his office grate be connected by Floo to 12, Grimmauld Place, so that Lorena may not need to go to the other side of the castle to access her father in the future.

* * *

Early in the morning, on the day after, Albus Dumbledore and Kingsley Shacklebolt, dressed in Muggle attire, went to the Liverpool jailhouse to fetch Lorena's father. George Nottingham went out of the jail eventually, dressed in civilian clothes – the same he had on when he had been arrested, that is, a black suit over a white shirt. He had been arrested in a warm Summer evening. The jailhouse people had been kind enough to provide him with a thick cloak to protect him against the harsh Winter. He also carried a small bag with him, which contained his belongings and his trusty blues harp.

He was out for less than a minute that he saw a couple of men coming to him. One of them had a long white beard. Despite the Muggle clothing, George Nottingham recognized him at once. He came to him with a smile on his face.

"Professor Dumbledore ?"

"Mr Nottingham, glad to see you." Albus introduced him to Kingsley. The former inmate stuck out his hand to the Black man to greet him. They exchanged a solid handshake.

"Let's go, Mr Nottingham," Albus said.

"Where are we going ?"

"First, we'll take the bus to a place in Liverpool I know. Then, from there, we'll be able to go to London. I have a surprise there for you."

"A surprise ?" George Nottingham tried to know more.

"I won't spoil it. Know it's a nice surprise," the old wizard said with a twinkle in his steely blue eyes, winking over his half-moon glasses.

George Nottingham was intrigued but he let the two men lead him to the nearest bus station – the same station that had seen Lorena and Severus on their way to the jailhouse and back.

Albus could have Apparated with George Nottingham. Yet, his current plan had two purposes. First, Apparating with an untrained adult wizard may prove hazardous – Albus did not wish to frighten the man and even less risk Splinching. Second, showing him Wizarding Liverpool would help the said untrained wizard to understand he was nonetheless a true wizard.

Kingsley, being more at ease with transactions with Muggle money, bought them three tickets, with the coins Lorena had given them, as she was sure that her father had no money at all with him. They got off close to one of the entrances to Wizarding Liverpool, a hotel. The lobby led to a corridor at the end of which a door opened to a street as busy as Diagon Alley in Wizarding London.

George Nottingham found himself brutally exposed to the Wizarding world. There were weird shops, exposing strange stuff in their windows. People were clad in a fashion of another time – or another world. Yet, he was happy to see all this. Honestly, after being locked up for more than three years, he had to reckon that he would have been lost in the Muggle world too. He just thought that the weirdness around him was due to his seclusion. Besides, he felt good there, he could not have told why. But these people, this place found a strange echo deep down his mind.

Dumbledore led them to a wandmaker's shop. _Ollivander's._ There, he was greeted by an old man.

"Hey, Albus ! Good to see you ! Bringing me a new customer ?"

The Headmaster chuckled. "No, not exactly. I need to use your Floo to go to London. Is that possible ?"

"Yes, sure, be my guest. You three ?"

"Yes. Also, once we're gone, remove any traces of our destination, will you ?"

The wandmaker winked and smiled in agreement. "I see. Order business. Good luck, Albus. Gentlemen. Oh, Albus, just give my regards to my brother in London, please."

"Will do, no problem." With that, the old wizard threw a handle of powder in the hearth. Green flames came alive. "Kingsley, you first. 12, Grimmauld Place !"

The Auror stepped in and disappeared. George Nottingham had eyes as big as saucers. "Now, your turn, Mr Nottingham," Albus said gently.

"What ? You want me to step into… a fire ? Aren't you crazy ? No. way." He crossed his arms over his chest in a very stubborn look – not so different from his daughter, Albus thought with amusement.

The steely blue eyes peered at him. "Don't worry. You trust me, I believe."

"Well… yes, but…"

Dumbledore did not leave him time to deepen his answer. He threw another handful of Floo powder in the hearth and pushed the younger man in the green flames while yelling the direction. "He's not used to Floo. Goodbye !" He yelled the direction again after throwing a last handful of powder and disappeared in his turn.

* * *

When George Nottingham regained his senses, after the trip by Floo, he found himself hauled by two pairs of arms, out from the grate where he had landed in. He watched around him with suspicion.

He was in a room with a thick green carpet on the floor, a tapestry hanging on one wall. He watched the two men that had helped him to stand up on his feet. He recognized the Black man, Kingsley Shacklebolt. "You're safe, Mr Nottingham, don't you worry. We promise you to explain you everything shortly." His deep voice had an undeniable trustworthy quality.

George Nottingham peered at him then to the other man that was still holding his arm to keep him steady. A younger man, with shoulder-length, slightly curly black hair, blue eyes, whose features were covered by a beard. A face that must have had known hardships as it was marked. The man smiled at him. "Welcome to my house, sir." He released him and held out his hand. "I'm called Sirius Black."

George Nottingham shook hands with the younger man and introduced himself. A sound could be heard in the background – Dumbledore was coming out of the hearth on his turn.

"What is this ?" George Nottingham asked as soon as he recognized the Headmaster. "If that's your idea of a joke, I don't find it particularly funny, Professor Dumbledore !"

The old wizard smiled. "No, this is not a joke, Mr Nottingham. Oh, here's Sirius Black."

"We already introduced ourselves, Albus," the younger wizard said.

"Good. Ah, yes, I told you about a surprise. I'm sure you're going to like it," Albus said in front of the scowling face of the former inmate. "This way, please."

The four men left the room and entered a room opposite. A long table occupied most of the space there. It was a dining-room but the Order had made it its meeting room. Severus was there, keeping watch on her. A young woman was sitting on a chair at the table. George Nottingham looked at the woman and a gasp escaped his lips.

"Lorena !"

The woman turned her head towards her father's voice. She smiled broadly. "Dad !" she said while standing up. George Nottingham went to her, not even registering there was a man standing nearby.

"Oh, daughter, it's so good to hold you !" His voice trailed off with emotion. He hugged her closely. Then suddenly, he pushed her back at arm's length, his hands still on her waist. He had an angry look on his face. "What's… this ?" he growled.

Instinctively, Lorena lowered her face, like a little girl who would have been found both hands in the cookie jar. She knew what he meant, she could feel his hands on her distended waist.

George Nottingham was true to his self. He had a short temper. "Professor Dumbledore ! What happened to my daughter ?" he said while turning towards the Headmaster.

"We can explain that, Mr Nottingham. We will."

"Who is the bastard that did that to her ? Where is he ?" He had a murderous glare in his eyes and an angry tone in his voice.

"Dad, you should listen to Prof…"

"You, I don't want to hear you ! This is a story between men !"

Albus glanced at Severus who remained his usual unreadable self. "Listen, Mr Nottingham, if you could just sit down…"

"You ask me to _just_ sit down ? Some fucking bastard has made my daughter pregnant and you want me to _just_ sit down ?"

"Dad, please…"

"You, you shut up ! Once I've dealt with the man that had… done this to you, you'll hear from me ! I can promise you that !"

"But Dad…"

"SILENCE !" he barked at her to a point that Severus was ready to interfere between the arguing pair.

George Nottingham turned towards the Headmaster. "You talked about a surprise. You bet a nice surprise it is. Indeed ! I've entrusted _my_ daughter to _your_ care and now she's pregnant ! What's going on in that school of yours ? Is it a school or a cathouse ?"

"DAD !" Lorena exclaimed, shocked. She was the only person present, with Severus and Kingsley probably too, to know the meaning of the word 'cathouse'. "I'm not what you're implying ! You should not speak like that of Hogwarts !"

"I'll speak as I wish ! Don't lecture me, will you ?" he fumed. "What do you think your mother will think about all this ? About _me_ ? She entrusted _you_ to _my_ care on her deathbed, and now see the outcome ! Needless to say I'm not too proud of you, Lorena Lady Nottingham ! Well, I wonder if you still deserve to be called a _lady_ after that !"

Lorena was mortified. She blanched. She had not imagined that her meeting again her father would have turned out like that. While not being unexpected, she had hoped that he would not have noticed either. Not so quickly. She lowered her gaze so that nobody could see the tears welling up in her eyes. Severus noticed it though.

"Dad, we can explain…" she protested faintly.

"I had told you that I didn't want this to happen ! I had warned you against boys ! And so did your grandma ! She'll have my hide and so will your mother !" he yelled at her. "I don't want to hear any explanation from a girl who happens to be my daughter and that had behaved like any… slut working in the streets !"

This was too much for Severus. Before anybody else present could react, he jumped at the man, wand in hand, the tip of his wand pressing against his throat. "Never say again that one of my students is a 'slut working in the streets', sir. Miss Nottingham is one of _my_ students – one of _our_ brightest students. Never. Say. That. Again," he growled, his dark gaze menacing.

"Severus…" Dumbledore said softly. "Be careful."

George Nottingham had been surprised. He was now peering at the tall, black-clad man holding him at wand point. A ferocious look that matched his own was boring into his own eyes. The father kept watching the Dark wizard with an almost arrogant stance. Severus could read in the man's mind, through Legilimency, that he was not afraid at all. Yet, George Nottingham seemed to know instinctively what a wand could do.

"Nobody ever slanders my House, sir. Never say such a thing about Miss Nottingham again. She's a decent person, a courageous and intelligent witch. She deserves our respect – and yours. Never forget it or I promise you'll regret it, despite the fact that you're her father," Severus growled threateningly.

"Professor, please," Lorena said gently. Then she addressed her father in Parseltongue : _"He means it. He can kill you with his wand. Let it go."_

George Nottingham replied in Parseltongue too : _"You ask me to let it go. Right. But know that I'm not impressed by a wand !"_

"_You would not speak like this if you truly knew what a wand can do in a powerful wizard's hand. The Professor is a powerful wizard. Let it go."_

The others present were surprised to hear Parseltongue spoken. Sirius Black was rolling eyes between Dumbledore and Shacklebolt, asking for explanations.

"Severus, please," Albus asked a bit more firmly this time. "Lower your wand."

Lorena was confirmed what she had suspected – her father being held at wand point. A wand that belonged to a powerful Dark wizard like Severus Snape. "Please, Professor," she pleaded.

Severus heard her plea. He lowered his wand, his dark gaze still trained on George Nottingham with one of his patented death glares.

"May I know who you are to threaten me like this ? Know that I don't take it too gently at all !" George Nottingham asked to the tall man that had threatened him, a challenging tone in his voice.

Albus decided to take things in hand. "Mr Nottingham, meet our Potions teacher, Professor Severus Snape. He's also the Head of the House of Slytherin, to which your daughter belongs. As such, he follows up her education very closely."

George Nottingham assessed the younger man standing in front of him. "I think I've already heard your name. Yes, that's it, you're the teacher that had accompanied my daughter so that she could visit her old father at the slammer last Christmas."

"True. I'm responsible for her," Severus replied laconically though his words could be construed in a whole other way. Then his eyes went to the young woman. "Come and sit down, Miss Nottingham," he said softly, dragging her gently to her chair. Lorena let him do.

Albus enjoyed the opportunity to put a firm hand on George Nottingham's shoulder and compel him to sit down opposite to his daughter at the table. The younger man was still fuming.

"Mr Nottingham, if that can reassure you, know that your daughter won't be left unwed. The man that got her pregnant has promised to marry her."

George Nottingham snorted. "Ha ! Promises… We all know what they can be – just empty words. The man will make his best efforts and then, slither back into his hole. Have you considered that my daughter is blind ? That she hasn't even finished her education ? Who's going to care for her baby when she's in class ?"

These were rightful questions indeed. "We thought about it already. Your daughter will continue her education at Hogwarts. Provisions will be made materially speaking so that she could continue her education and graduate eventually. Besides, she won't be alone to raise her child. The father has pledged he would marry her. Oaths in our world are a serious business, not just 'empty words' as you put it." Dumbledore did not wish to reveal that an Unbreakable Vow had been taken – the less people knew, the better for everyone.

The explanation seemed to calm down the father. "Well, I hope she'll be happy with him then. Starting a life as a couple with such a pledge is not a guarantee for marital bliss. I know what I'm talking about : I've been happily married for 10 years ! Without resorting to such an oath ! Though I would have given my very life to save Lorena's mother's," he concluded with sadness. A sorrowful shadow passed on his features quickly.

The Headmaster directed him to the table to sit. He sat at the table end between the father and daughter, instructing Kingsley silently to sit beside him to prevent any future outburst. George Nottingham was a wizard after all. An untrained adult wizard could have a magical outburst. Severus sat beside Lorena while keeping his distance with her. Dumbledore ordered him in a silent glance to protect the young woman from any such outburst. Sirius was standing nearby the Headmaster, on George Nottingham's side, ready for action if needed.

"Now I think we may start explain all this to you, Mr Nottingham. Unfortunately, as everything is linked together, we won't start first with the matter of your daughter's pregnancy."

"Do you realize I could press charges against you and your school ?" George Nottingham spat. "For what had happened to my daughter ? She's just a child ! Marriage promise or not ! Besides, she's too young to get married and become a mother ! And she's blind !"

Lorena felt better enough to reply to her father. "Professor Dumbledore helped you get out of jail, Dad ! The least you could do is not to insult his school ! Which happens to be _my_ school and _my_ home too !" She pursed her lips. "For your information, I'm no longer a child. I'm of age. You can't press charges for me anymore, I'm an adult ! I'm the only one to be able to do so now." She paused. "And I won't ! I was perfectly consenting !"

George Nottingham stood up to reach to his daughter. Kingsley and Sirius held him firmly back onto his chair.

"Enough, Mr Nottingham," Dumbledore said with a teacher like tone. "I've just cast a Silencing spell on you, which will deprive you of speech temporarily, time for you to listen to what we have to say without interrupting us. I'm sorry but this is necessary." His tone was firm, no-nonsense, his steely blue gaze had lost its usual twinkle. He was the man in charge, a man that was used to exert authority. "Don't compel me to use a Body-Bind Hex on you either."

George Nottingham tried to speak but his open mouth let out no sound. The old man meant business. He did not know the hex either but its name was explicit enough to give him an idea of its effect. "Now pay attention. Many things that will be said here will come as a shock to you but we swear they are all true. You trusted us to ensure you to get out of jail, like your daughter said. You have to trust us for what we're going to say now."

A heavy silence settled around the table. "Severus, hand me the box, please," the Headmaster asked.

The younger wizard moved a box towards Albus. "Lorena, open it," the Headmaster instructed.

"_I closed at the beginning. I shall open at the close. A beloved voice of yours closed me. Only a beloved voice of hers can open me_," the young woman recited. The box lid opened. Lorena had learned the formula by heart to avoid using her wand to read the message taped on the lid.

Albus Dumbledore took the letter written by Cassiope Gaunt. "Mr Nottingham, this box was found in your mother's house. Lorena found it in her cabinet in her own bedroom. Please read its documents carefully." Albus took the letter Cassiope Gaunt had left to her granddaughter. "Though this letter is addressed to your daughter, Lorena here thinks you should read it first."

George Nottingham took the letter and read it. He was rather bad at hiding his emotions. Kingsley, sitting just beside him, could see that his eyes watered as he was reading. The father managed to keep his tears back. He put the letter back onto the table then passed a hand over his face, exhaling a deep sigh.

Albus lifted the Silencing spell, feeling that the man wanted to say something. "I'm not surprised. I've always suspected that my mother was a… a witch," he said simply. "Especially after you came home to inform us that our little Lorena was one, Professor Dumbledore."

_A good beginning,_ the old wizard thought. _At least, he accepts that._

He read it again, faster this time. "What did my mother mean by 'some other people have decided otherwise' ?"

Albus expected that question. "This is part of the story too. It shall be explained to you. I say 'explained', not 'replied', as we are not sure ourselves about it."

George Nottingham thought that the Headmaster was still very cryptical.

"Lorena, I've told you, and my mother wrote to you too, not to go after your Gaunt relatives." He sounded angry but… scared too. Albus and Severus glanced at each other. They remembered what Lorena had told them, that her father was scared. "Why did you do so all the same ?"

The young witch made a gesture of her hand to show she would reply. "I haven't gone after my… _our_ Gaunt relatives. It's just that we cannot run away from ourselves forever. I cannot run away from myself forever. I cannot lie to myself forever." She swallowed. "Don't worry, Dad. Our Gaunt relatives are all dead now. Except one. But I don't think you'll wish to meet that one. I, for one, don't." Contrarily to her father, her voice was calm, she did not sound frightened at all.

Severus and Albus exchanged another glance. Tom Riddle Jr. Lord Voldemort. The Dark Lord.

"That means that you've met him already ? Have you ?"

Lorena's Slytherin cunning kicked in. "No, I haven't met that one," she lied. Well, it was not a lie exactly. She had not met her distant cousin. She had just been imposed sex by a psychopath. Not her exact idea of a family reunion. Besides, she was not sure if the Dark Lord had been aware of their family connection then.

Albus handed him the marriage certificates. George Nottingham had a hard time containing his emotion when he read the one that concerned him and his wife. "Oh, Fiona…" he let out in a barely audible whisper. Lorena heard him and she felt compassion for her father.

Albus gave him something. An envelop bearing the Hogwarts crest. "I believe this was addressed to you."

The man took it. He was surprised to see his full name on it. It looked old. His parents' home address was written on it.

"Open it," Albus encouraged him with a smile. "It's for you."

Unsure, George Nottingham opened the letter and read it. It was the invitation to attend Hogwarts. He watched the date. July 1960. Quickly, his eyes reflected first surprise, then disbelief, to be followed by a sense of marvel. "Lorena had received the same letter, I remember. Does that mean that… that I'm…"

"Yes, Mr Nottingham. You're a wizard too. Like your daughter. Like your mother. Like all of us here."

Incredulity appeared on his features. "That's impossible ! I mean… you all can do stuff with your…" His index showed the ebony wand that rested on the table, still clasped in Severus' hand.

"Some wizards can do wandless magic, you know," Dumbledore said. "Lorena, show your father."

The young woman's hand made a gracious movement in the air. A fire started in the grate nearby.

"You see ? It's just a matter of training. But you have it in you too. You just never had the possibility to train it."

George Nottingham snorted. "Don't kid me, Professor Dumbledore. I have no magic in me at all."

"Beg me to differ, Mr Nottingham. You had been able to travel via Floo. You had been able to see this house, which is real only for magical beings like us. This letter of invitation is issued to all children born in Britain with magical abilities."

"Well, thing was, my mother never used magic at home, in front of us, me, my siblings or my father. I'm not even sure if my father was aware of that gift of hers."

"Then, how come you can speak Parseltongue ?" Albus asked. It was a rhetorical question.

"Parseltongue ? What's that ?"

"You exchanged a few words with your daughter in that language a few minutes earlier."

"Oh, the creature language ? My mother taught me. Then she taught Lorena too when she noticed that she could speak it with me."

"Parseltongue is a magical ability, and a rare one at that. In fact, it's a genetic trait passed down from one parent to his or her children. It's rare because it belongs to only one wizarding family in Britain. Nobody else is endowed with it."

George Nottingham's face reflected sheer puzzlement now.

"Your mother never told you but magic is a dominant gene. Therefore all children with at least one magical parent – which is your case – have the gene in question. As for Parseltongue, only the Gaunt family members are native speakers – we call them Parselmouths. That's why your mother, your daughter, and of course yourself, could speak it. Your mother is dead now but I swear this is the truth."

"And what about that other family member Lorena alluded to earlier ? Can he speak it ?"

Albus peered at him. The man was paying attention indeed. "Yes, he can."

"Thing was, I may speak that language but honestly, that's probably all the magic I can muster."

"I don't think so, Dad," Lorena said this time. "There are other ways to practice magic. Listen, Dad, have you ever wondered how you could learn music and master all these instruments so quickly ? Without almost no training ?"

"What do you mean ? Music has nothing to do with magic !"

"There again, I beg to differ," Albus said. "Music is one of the most powerful magic ever." He smiled at the younger man. "Your mother was wise to channel your untrained magic into something she deemed less dangerous for her only remaining son. Lorena has already proved us that music has everything to do with magic."

George Nottingham watched his daughter, a thoughtful look in his eyes. "True I can learn music fast. Give me an instrument, show me a few moves and tricks and I'm on my way." He got out his blues harp from his pocket and put it on the table for all to see. "See that ? Lorena had offered it to me so that I may still have something to play in the slammer. It's small yet tricky to learn. I've managed to master it in about two months' time. Without getting my throat slit in my cell by the other inmates because the sound would be too awful. They all told me I could play real fine like…" He realized that the wizards in front of him may have never heard of famous blues harp players. "Ah, never mind."

He remained silent a few long seconds. "Yet, I don't think that's enough to qualify as a… a wizard."

"People say of you that you're a wizard with everything music," Lorena insisted. "I think there's some truth in all that. You never went to music school. You just learned the basics with that old man that lived in our neighborhood and used to be a jazz instrument player. He showed you a few things and you made tremendous progress quickly. On your own. How do you explain that, except by… a gift ? Even Mozart had learned music and trained for years and from a very early age."

"How can you say so ? You weren't even born !" George Nottingham quipped, a hint of irony in his voice.

"Unless you wish to tell your mother was a liar, Dad, no problem. But I remember perfectly what she had told me about you. I think she was a reliable source of information as far as you're concerned."

"My own mother had told you so ?" He sighed deeply. "Only your own family members can betray you as much," he said while joining his both hands in prayer, his eyes rolling to the ceiling in mock indignation.

Lorena smiled. "I'm sure you already felt it, the magical atmosphere you can weave during a gig, whether in a concert hall or in a blues club. You know what I mean. You know the feeling I'm talking about because you and me, we have already felt it, what it's like to have magic at the tips of our fingers, running on our instruments, enchanting the crowd, bewitching the audiences, ensnaring their ears and when the whole house rocks and shouts, you know that somewhere, your magic has been conveyed to them people."

She had her empty pale gray eyes trained in the direction where she could hear her father speak. George Nottingham watched her carefully. His little girl was right. She was an adult, no longer a child. An adult that spoke the truth about the feelings conveyed to an audience. He looked at his hands as if they could confirm him that he was a magical being indeed.

"I remember once…" he began softly. "I had played a long solo with my electric guitar, a nice riff, when suddenly, sparks flew out of my fingertips. I was surprised but not afraid. On the contrary, I had felt so high, so high then, so good. Alright, I may have had a couple of beers too much probably but… no, I wasn't stoned. I went on playing, my pals thought I had a problem with static electricity or whatever. I kept on playing, that was one of the best memories I've ever had during a gig. A deep feeling of joy had overwhelmed my soul. I could have played all night long – well, we had. I had no idea where these sparks came from. Checked the equipment later but found nothing. But it happened every now and then." He sighed. "Never told that to my mother. She might have been pleased to hear it after all."

Dumbledore had a smile for the younger man. "So do you accept now that you're a wizard ?"

He bit his lower lip – not so differently from Lorena. "Yes, I do."

"Good. Now that you accepted it, you'll be able to understand the rest of the whole story." Albus Dumbledore sighed inside. What would follow was not the funniest part.

* * *

_**Lorena's father seemed a bit possessive too. I hope the argument between father and daughter was quite plausible. I just heard them arguing the other day in my mind…**_

_**For all those out of there who are geniuses and wizards with drawing and photo-manip, please feel free to use my work to spur your imagination - just provide me with the link so that I can admire your work and leave a review for it.**_

_**Please rate & review ! Thanks in anticipation !**__** The muses love that !**_


	111. The color of blood

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**111**** – The color of blood**

George Nottingham was stunned. Literally. His eyes reflected sheer puzzlement. The whole story was incredible. At the same time, he knew that he had been told the truth. Honestly, who could have gone to such lengths to justify his daughter's pregnancy ? Deep down, he knew that that story of virginity ritual was true. More than that, that both he and Lorena were in danger.

"And you said that someone of the… Light Side bedded my daughter to avoid her to be… involved in some Dark magic virginity ritual with that Voldemort fellow ?"

Severus cringed when he heard his Master's name. Under the table, he gripped his left forearm. None of his pain showed on his face. Yet, his gesture had not escaped Kingsley's, Sirius' and Albus' careful attention.

"Yes, Mr Nottingham," Albus replied. The others had let the old wizard explain the whole story. It paid to keep shut sometimes – especially in front of an untrained adult wizard as nervous as George Nottingham.

"Ah, call me George," he had finally said. "May I know who ?"

This time, Albus turned towards Lorena. "I'll let you decide if you wish to reply, Lorena."

The young witch shook her head. "No, I won't tell. I don't think it's wise for anyone present to know who my child's father is." She would keep shut about the sacrifice ritual that involved a child that the Dark Lord would have fathered. Dumbledore had put this detail aside and Lorena had just followed his lead. "I'm sorry, Dad, but I won't tell. For your own safety."

George Nottingham darted an angry look at his daughter. Suddenly, his magic, most likely contained for too much time, crackled around him before bursting out. Kingsley and Sirius were ready for action. Severus' hand gripped his wand even tighter. All the lights went out in the dining-room. Even the fire in the grate died. Lorena felt Severus' magic around her in a protective shield.

"You see, you did it !" Albus exclaimed after having revived the lights in the room.

George Nottingham was puzzled – and scared. "I did… this ?"

Sirius put a calming hand on his shoulder. "You did. Don't worry. We all have this kind of outburst one day or the other. Uncontrolled magic. But you may still learn to control it. Never too late."

George Nottingham glanced at him. Then his eyes went to the Dark wizard sitting across the table, beside his daughter, in a very protective stance. Something elusive passed in his mind. He could not help thinking that this Severus Snape was like him, somehow. Prompt to react, full of purpose. Protective, very protective.

Severus read all this in the man's eyes. He lowered his wand and removed the shielding spell on the young witch sitting beside him.

"So you mean that my daughter is in danger. And so am I."

"She's safe, as long as she remains here or at Hogwarts. You're safe as long as you stay here."

"Yes, but what about my parole ? I must meet my parole officer next Monday ! I won't go back to that shithole of a jail because I failed to comply with that !"

"Kingsley or someone else from the Order will come with you so that nothing can happen to you. Under no other circumstances, you shall go out on your own. You won't be alone here though." He patted his arm gently. "Sirius lives here as well. He's a bit like you, a prisoner. He's to remain here for his own safety too."

This time, George Nottingham paid more attention to the younger wizard to his right. "What do you mean ?"

"Sirius here has been condemned by our justice system for a crime he did not commit. He escaped the wizards' jail. This is his house and as it is unplottable, he cannot be found. Even our police cannot find him."

"A crime you haven't committed ? Man…"

"I've been sentenced for a mass murder. I've spent twelve years in jail. Twelve long years ! In Azkaban !"

"Azkaban ?"

"Our jail. The wizards' jail. A terrible place that even Muggles cannot imagine," Dumbledore explained. "So you'll have company here. A big house, a comfortable bed, people to meet, as much food as you wish."

"Well, still a gilded cage," George Nottingham commented with sarcasm. "When I thought I was about to have a job in music !"

"Dad, you have to understand that the Dark Lord means business," his daughter said. "I beseech you to stay here. Here, you're safe. You are with us. Remember what happened to your brother, sister and mother." Her eyes seemed to sparkle with an idea. A bright idea. "Professor Dumbledore, may I suggest something that would keep my father busy here ?" She had followed an idea behind her father's last words.

"What do you mean, Lorena ?"

"May I suggest that my father may bring his instruments here… with him ? That way, his magic and his mind would be occupied in a fashion he does enjoy."

Albus seemed to consider the suggestion. "Indeed. What do you think, Mr Nottingham ? Would you agree to stay here, under the conditions I set for your safety, provided you have your music ?"

George Nottingham watched his daughter. His eyes gleamed with gratitude for his daughter, though his gaze was totally lost for her. But not for Severus. "Deal ?" he said while sticking out his hand to Dumbledore. The Headmaster took it and both men exchanged a solid handshake.

"Alright, to sum it all up, George, we'll find a way to get your instruments here. In exchange, you must swear on your daughter's life that you'll obey any order that I may give you – for your safety first and that of your daughter second. Is that a deal ?"

"Yes, yes, sure, sure it's a deal !"

"Good. We'll sort this out later. Any other question ?"

"Yes," George Nottingham said. "I fail to understand how people can be so much focused on who is magical and who is not. I mean, I'm aware that we have the same kind of prejudices in our world – well, the Muggle world – in terms of race and color and whatever. Personally, I don't mind playing music with Black guys or White guys, as long as they are _good_. I don't care !"

Kingsley had an amused look at him. "Not everybody shares your opinion, Mr Nottingham. Even in the Muggle world."

George Nottingham realized that the wizard sitting beside him was Black. He was literally color-blind, so to speak. "I didn't mean to offend you, Mr Shacklebolt. But honestly, I really don't care if people I have to interact with are Black or White. Many of my pals are Black folks. Hey, they are all good musicians !" He chuckled.

"But I had interpreted your statement correctly. You'll discover that the Wizarding world is blind to skin color. Unfortunately, not to blood status. And call me Kingsley. Everybody does."

George Nottingham smiled broadly. "Call me George then. Everybody does," he replied wittily. "So, that story of blood status, is it like race for you here or what ?"

"Yes, we may say so, George," Albus said. He smiled when Lorena's father smiled back at him in agreement over the use of his first name. "We have three categories of people in our world. You have the pure-bloods, who have absolutely no Muggle ancestors at all in their family tree. Sirius here is one example. They account for one quarter of the wizarding population. Then you have the half-bloods. You are one, I am one, Severus here is one too. And so is Lorena. 'Half-blood' is a general category. You and Severus, for example, have one Muggle parent and one magical parent. I'm a half-blood because though my mother was a witch, she was a Muggle-born. She married a pure-blood wizard. Your daughter, Lorena, is a half-blood, though technically speaking, she has only one quarter of magical blood, as she has only one magical grandparent out of four. She's still considered as a half-blood though. As well as the child she carries. Half-bloods are the biggest category of all. About half of the wizarding population belongs to that group. At last, you have Muggle-borns. This category gathers wizards and witches that are born into non-magical families. They constitute the last quarter of the total wizarding population. Kingsley here is a Muggle-born, his two parents are non-magical. A spontaneous apparition of the magical gene causes this – though some research would imply that it might be not exactly true, that Muggle-borns would have a magical being in their ancestry at some point, but too far in the past to have been recorded or remembered."

George Nottingham snorted. "When I thought our father used to tell us tales about our ancestry… that our name comes from the Sheriff of Nottingham, _Lord Nottingham_, whose mother would have been a witch. That's why I was not shocked when you came home about my little girl Lorena's magical abilities."

"Maybe it's true after all, if this witch you mention was indeed your ancestor. Then her magical gene was passed down from one generation to another. Though, I repeat, research is very disputed about all this. Some say yes, others say no. The fact is that the magical gene is the dominant one and therefore, should be always expressed. Hence the fact that people like you or Severus, with one Muggle parent and one magical one, have the magical gene expressed. A gene you have transmitted to your daughter, despite your Muggle wife and your lack of magical education. However, I let you imagine the political implications a different explanation would stir in our world. Pureblood supremacy and blood status are very complex issues. Someone like Voldemort is already enough trouble for our community at the present time."

George Nottingham nodded in understanding. "Interesting."

"Where are your instruments ?" Albus asked. He wanted to change subject.

"In my mother's house."

"Excellent, we'll go there tonight. Nine o'clock. It'll be dark, that'll suit our purpose. Severus, you know the place but we need to be several people to get there. I don't think Apparition will be practical. Prepare a Portkey for nine o'clock tonight for Mrs Nottingham's house."

"I need to come with you, Albus. I had warded the room for protection when I had visited the house with Miss Nottingham. Nobody except me and her can disable the wards placed on the room."

"But I would not have gone without you, my boy. Kingsley, I'd appreciate if you could come with us too."

The Auror agreed with a nod. Sirius had a look of envy in his eyes for that freedom. He sighed. "Albus, I think you should take me with you."

The Headmaster watched the younger man carefully. "Sirius. It's not that I don't want you to come, but if something funny happens, I don't want you to be caught."

"Nothing funny will happen, Albus. Besides, I can quickly revert to my animagus form. Who would suspect that big black dog accompanying you to be me ?" On cue, Sirius made his puppy eyes. "Please, Albus. I'm getting crazy to stay here locked up all day long ! Allow me this ! That I could feel _useful_ for once !"

Severus rolled his eyes. He knew why Sirius had made this comment. He had told his former classmate that he was _useless_. Sirius had felt terribly hurt then. Not because of the scathing remark but because it was true.

"Kingsley, is Tonks available tonight ?"

"No, she's on duty."

"What about Remus ?"

"He has not come back yet from his mission – he should come back in two days' time. And before you ask me, I don't think that bringing Dung to an uninhabited house is a good idea."

Albus sighed. "Yes, you're right. As for Alastor, I prefer to know he's in Hogwarts while I'm absent from there." He watched Sirius again. "Alright. Looks like we have a shortage of human resources. We may need an extra pair of hands after all. You win, Sirius, yet you have to promise me you won't do anything funny. Take your wand with you." The Headmaster knew that the trip would not be risky. The probability that they met trouble there was close to nil. Besides, they would be several of them.

Sirius beamed. He put a hand on his shoulder. "George, if you don't mind, I'll show your room and the whole house now. Take your stuff with you."

"Oh, thanks, Sirius," George said. Then he turned towards his daughter who had stood up. He was angry for her being pregnant out of wedlock. But his deep feelings for her came back. He rushed towards her and hugged her tightly against him. He wanted to express apologies for the harsh words he had uttered to her but he could not. His anger was still too strong. He needed to cool down before. Yet, the young woman felt his concern and love through their physical contact. She knew that apologies would come later.

"I'm so happy to know you're here, Dad. Please, behave. You'll see, you'll be fine here, among our people."

"Our people ?"

"Yes, wizarding people. Whether you like it or not, now you're part of our world." She left his arms. "I need to go back to Hogwarts, I still have some assignments to complete."

"I'm sorry we didn't have time to catch up."

"It's okay, you had quite a ride today, listening to everything you've been told. Take your time. I'm not far, just a grate away." She kissed his cheek. "Professor Snape, could it possible for me to go back to the castle ?" she asked politely, keeping her distances with him.

"Yes, Miss Nottingham. Let me guide you back," Severus said while taking her elbow to lead her to the hearth. "Kingsley, I'll leave first to be there when she Floos in back. Please could you make sure she leaves safely this side and doesn't get hurt ?"

"Sure thing, Severus."

"Thank you. Gentlemen, see you tonight at nine here."

The Potions Master threw a handful of Floo powder and left the place. Kingsley threw another handful and pushed Lorena gently into the green flames. In seconds, she had gone.

George Nottingham had watched Lorena till the very second she had disappeared, a thoughtful look on his face. He found the Potions Master to be particularly protective of his daughter. Something elusive crossed his mind. Very protective indeed. And caring at the same time.

* * *

___**Another reference to blood in this chapter. Blood magic is not the only issue in this story that pertains to blood as such.**_

_**For the needs of my story, I made Kingsley a Muggle-born. Nothing is said about his real blood status. Besides, he's so much used to blend into the Muggle world so I thought it could be logical to have him as a Muggle-born.**_

_**I think this is canon that Albus Dumbledore is indeed a half-blood, with a Muggle-born witch as his mother (**_**Deathly Hallows**_**). Heck, pretty much like Harry Potter, who had a pureblood father and a Muggle-born mother.**_

_**Sirius and his usefulness or uselessness… directly taken from the **_**Order of the Phoenix**_** book, when he's been taunted by Severus as being useless.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! The muses does love read you…**_


	112. Settling down at 12 Grimmauld Place

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**112**** – Settling down at 12 Grimmauld Place**

Sirius led George Nottingham upstairs. On the third floor, more exactly. He showed him a door. "Here's my own room, so if you need anything, just knock on the door." He opened the door opposite. "After you."

George Nottingham entered. There was a double bed there, in a room that must have been richly furnished years ago. "My brother Regulus' bedroom," Sirius said. There was a hint of sadness in his voice. As a musician and singer, George noticed it at once.

"Excuse me, Sirius, but I don't want to take your brother's bedroom, he may need it…"

Sirius had a frank look at the man before him. "Where he is now, he won't need it anymore. So feel free to take it." He sighed. "He died years ago. Let me help you put things back into place. It hasn't been used for a long time. I believe a bit of dusting is in order here."

He took out his wand and with a few swishing movements, he removed the dust. The curtains got their green color back, as well as the walls and the carpets on the floor. Sirius opened the bed and suddenly, the sheets were clean, whiter than ever. "I think you should be fine now," he said with a smile.

George Nottingham had his eyes as big as saucers. "Do you think… do you think that one day, I could do this… too ?"

Sirius grinned. "Yes, of course. Not very difficult. I could teach you."

"You would ?"

"Yes. Provided you teach me music. I love Muggle stuff. I mean, when I was a teenager, I loved motorbikes and Muggle music. _Rock 'n' Roll_. I still do. If you come to my room, I'll show you posters of my favorite bikes. I have one too, but it's stored safely at another wizard's place, a friend of mine that also enjoys everything Muggle. Oh, you'll meet him here, he's a friend of us. Arthur Weasley's his name."

"Really ? You have a bike ? Yes, I'd like to see that. I'm rather into cars but a nice bike is always a good thing to look at. Like a lovely girl," George ended up saying with a wink.

Sirius laughed heartily. "Ah, George, I think we're going to have fun ! Anyway, thanks to you, I'll have a bit of freedom tonight."

"Is it so bad to be here ? It's your home after all."

"Yeah," Sirius snorted. "How is it like to go back to your parents' house to live there ? After you did all your best to leave the place at the tender age of 16 ?"

"Well, from that perspective, I can see what you mean. I was happy to come back to my parents' home when my wife died. My mother had asked me to take my daughter with me and come back to live with her. So that we should be better off all three together after Fiona's demise." He sighed. "My mother was a remarkable woman."

Sirius nodded. "Mine wasn't." He patted the other man's shoulder in a compassionate gesture. "Well, at least, tonight, I'll be out of this place for a few moments, thanks to you. Not much but I'll treasure it." He gestured at the room. "Make yourself comfortable. My home is your home now. I'll be in my room."

George Nottingham thought that the man had a very bad case of claustrophobia or whatever, that he did not like much to be locked up, no more than he did himself – which he could relate to.

He put his small bag on the bed once he was alone. He sat there. The mattress was firm yet comfortable. George Nottingham opened his small bag and took his blues harp out. Yet, he did not play it. He rummaged in his bag and took out a picture – the only picture he had of his late wife and little girl. A girl that was no longer little. A girl that was a woman now.

_I'm going to be a grandfather. __Soon. Shit. I'm too young for that. Damn._

He sighed. _I know you're not going to be happy with me, Fiona. Oh, well. I supposed it would have happened one day._ He smiled at the picture – a sad smile. He still loved his wife. He wondered if all this time spent in jail had helped him got over her death. _Not really. _Somewhere, he was still grieving.

He did not have a lot of things in that bag. He would take a few more garments in his mother's house. More garments and underwear, another pair of shoes. Music was not everything in a life after all.

He put his meager possessions back in the small bag. He went to the window and stayed there for a long time, his mind wandering, his gaze in the void, lost in the street down below. He wondered in which part of London the house was located actually. He did not know the city – he was far more familiar with Manchester, Liverpool, Nottingham and Birmingham. He thought about his daughter, how he had been surprised and angry to feel her pregnancy. He thought about all the things he had just learned about his being a… wizard.

Yes, he had always felt different. That was why he felt so good with people different, like he was. Black people for example. Or people living an entirely different way of life, like musicians – to the point he had embraced their ways. Not always for the better.

Then Fiona had been there. To keep him on the right track. She was different too – a frail young woman lost in her dreams and music. She was a dream herself. When he had become a father, he had felt he'd better behave. Music had helped. Not her family, of course, but truly, who cared then ? They were a match made in heaven. Musicians and all. Not exactly the same background but Fiona Campbell Nottingham – a good musician in her own right – had always been impressed by her husband's musical skills. She admired him. He was utterly gifted. Yet, she had never known where it did come from.

Magic. _If only she had known._ He sighed. Part of him wanted to say this was a complete nonsense. Yet, the other part of him knew better. It was not nonsense. He had seen his mother perform magic a few times in his childhood, when she thought nobody around was watching. Most of the time in her bedroom or in the kitchen. He remembered when his siblings – and himself – had outbursts of accidental magic. Well, now he could call them like that. Very early, the three kids had learned instinctively how to hide this fact to the other children they associated with. It had been _their_ secret.

He remembered when with his brother and sister, they spoke the creature language together. Discreetly though but it was a convenient way to pass messages between them. They had not really been taught, it had come to them naturally. George remembered their mother guiding them in the language, perfecting their use of it, especially against unwanted creatures in the house. It had been fun, chasing them all the way out. Funnier than killing them actually. He remembered his mother forbidding them not to use it in front of other people.

Now the creature language had a name – Parseltongue. Speakers were called Parselmouths. _Strange._ Actually, it made sense – the capacity to speak it had come naturally though it had not been spoken at home. Cassiope Gaunt Nottingham had begun to speak it with them when they had showed they had notions of the language, without even having heard it before. As if they had been born with it. It was more than a mother tongue. A genetic trait, passed down from one generation to the other. Like Dumbledore had explained. They had been born with it indeed.

A detail came back to his memory. He had felt Kingsley's and Sirius' reaction when he had exchanged a few words in Parseltongue with his daughter. As if the language itself held something powerful, almost frightening. _I must ask Sirius why._

He kept on daydreaming at the window. He thought about his mother, his siblings. _So they had been killed. Murdered._ He sighed. After all these years, he still missed his elder brother and sister. It would have been fun to have a bigger family. When he had come back to live with his 9-year-old daughter at his mother's house, with her, everybody else had died already. They just remained them three together.

George Nottingham put a hand over his face. For the first time in ages, he felt the sting of tears in his eyes. But this time, he did not fight them back. Tears fell down his cheeks silently – not so differently from Lorena. In jail, he could not afford crying, lest the other inmates may consider this a weakness and try to take advantage of this.

No, jail had denied him mourning in sort of. Save that now, he was no longer in jail. Now he was free – almost free. But free at last to cry and mourn the loss of his wife and parents and siblings all he wanted without anyone around to pry on him.

* * *

About half an hour before nine, Severus stepped in from the grate in the drawing-room at 12 Grimmauld Place. He carried a worn-out, small-sized cauldron in his hands. The Portkey. He went out of the drawing-room and directed his steps downstairs towards the kitchen. He could hear voices there.

He found Sirius, Kingsley, Lorena's father, all three chatting together. When he entered the kitchen, the three men stopped talking. His acute senses had informed him that they were not talking about him at all. Yet, he was aware that his appearance always triggered off a certain type of reactions.

"So, _Snivellus_, what did you bring us as a Portkey for tonight ?" Sirius said with a sneer.

Severus put the small cauldron on the table without a word. His eyes shot a death glare to his former classmate.

"It's strange that with all the junk this house contains, you were not able to suggest Albus something in this regard. Once more, _I_ have to provide with useful necessities such as old stuff to be used as a Portkey," the Potions Master replied with ice in his voice.

George Nottingham perceived at once that the two men did not like each other at all. This was no friendly banter. He glanced at Kingsley that returned his glance with silent confirmation in his expressive eyes. Lorena's father had spent the better part of the day talking with Sirius about music and bikes and cars and other Muggle artefacts in general. He made a mental note to ask the younger wizard about this tall, black-clad man that was so cold and strange and so protective of his daughter.

Kingsley decided to take the lead in the conversation to avoid the argument that was about to burst out. "Any news from Albus ?"

"He should arrive in a few minutes," Severus replied. "He was still in the Great Hall when I left. He had not started his dessert then." His charcoal eyes went to Lorena's father. "How was your first day here, Mr Nottingham ?" There was no longer any animosity in his voice.

"Fine, thank you, Professor Snape. Sirius here showed me the place, we had lunch and dinner together. Long time I haven't eaten something tasty. Better than in jail, I can tell you !"

"Good. Your daughter gave me the keys to your mother's house," Severus said while getting out a set of keys from his pocket. "I'll be in the library, tell me when Albus is here, will you ?" Severus glanced at the three men and left the room, without even waiting for their replies.

Albus arrived a few minutes before nine. Kingsley brought the battered cauldron to the drawing-room and put it in the middle of the room, on the ground. Everyone met there. Albus gave the last instructions.

"Has everyone their wands with them ? Right. George, on the count of three, you'll put your finger on the Portkey. Severus, I trust you to cast the spell on it. Where should it lead us ?"

"The Nottingham house has a small backyard, well protected from outside sight. We'll arrive there." He took out his wand and cast the spell. The small cauldron glowed a pale blue light before returning to its state. "I'll give the count. We could use it to come back here. Mr Nottingham, is there another door than the main door to access your house ?"

"Yes, there's a backdoor leading to the backyard. We should use that one, more practical in my opinion for a discreet entrance."

Albus nodded in agreement. "I think we should go now. No need to wait any further. The night is dark, so let's go. Gentlemen, in position. Severus, give us the count."

The five men crouched around the small cauldron, wand in hand, except for George Nottingham of course. "On the count of three. One… Two… Three !"

The Portkey glowed its blue light. They pressed their hands on the cauldron's rim. In a split second, they were gone…

* * *

… to find themselves landing in the Nottinghams' backyard. Severus was the first one up, wand in hand, assessing the place, quickly followed by Kingsley, whose Auror reflexes had kicked in. Sirius and George helped Dumbledore to get to his feet. Without a word, the four men followed George to the backdoor. The musician opened the door with the keys Severus had given him.

They entered the house. Kingsley and Dumbledore felt the remnants of Dark magic lingering in there. They cast _Lumos_ on their wands once they made sure that the backdoor was closed behind them.

"So, now, where do we go ?" Dumbledore asked softly.

"My instruments are stored in an extra room here, on this floor. I need to pick up a few garments upstairs first, if you don't mind. Visit the place, be my guests," he said gently.

Severus did not lose time. He knew where the instruments room was. He went to the door and began to remove the complex series of wards he had cast on the door.

"Severus, I'll go upstairs. I want to check his mother's room," Dumbledore whispered. The Potions Master nodded.

"Albus, I come with you," Kingsley said. "I want to see that too."

Sirius stayed in the corridor with Severus. He was so happy to be out that he did not wish to bait his former classmate. When the door opened, both men entered the room. Sirius could not retain a low exclamation of admiration when he saw all the instruments stored there. "What a collection ! There's enough here to form a band !"

"Indeed. That's why I've warded the room." Severus went to the big harp standing in a corner. He let his fingers caress the strings. A few vibrations ran through his hands. He had to admit that he liked this one very much. Its sweet sound had something soothing. He remembered when he had entered that room with Lorena, her emotion in front of the instruments, in particular the harp and the other one, with a keyboard. Yes, the celesta.

After a few minutes, the three other men entered the room. George scanned it with his gaze quickly. "The celesta ! The harp ! I've got the best friends in the world ! They had promised me they would bring them back here and they did." He let his fingers ran over the celesta keyboard. A few ethereal sounds came out of the instrument. "These two used to belong to my wife. She loved them to pieces. I was afraid I'd never seen them back."

"Your daughter had the same reaction, Mr Nottingham," Severus said.

"You bet, these instruments are probably the only things she'll have from her mother." He touched the harp, his fingers pinching a few strings, eliciting a few sounds. "Alright. Now for what I need." He opened a duffle bag which already contained some garments and other personal belongings. He took the diapason, the metronome and the wooden recorder stored in the cupboard shelf and put them into the bag. He checked the various scores, picked up a few of them and shoved them into the bag too.

"Alright, now for the bigger stuff. We are five, so I guess I may take five instruments with me."

Dumbledore approved. Anything, provided the man remained in Sirius' house and did not think about going out. George checked the instruments quickly. They were all in good shape. Reassured, he took the acoustic guitar and put it in Sirius' arms. He took the clarinet box which he gave to Dumbledore. The sax box went into Kingsley's arms. The boxes containing the piccolo (hidden on one shelf, which had escaped Lorena's attention during her last visit) and the flute, were small enough to be shoved into his duffle bag.

George enquired if everyone was fine with the instruments. Sirius, Kingsley and Albus answered yes. George joked he had found his next band. Then his eyes felt on the synthesizer keyboard longingly. "I'd like to take that one too. I miss playing keyboards… But I guess it's too big, isn't it ?"

Severus – whose hands were still empty – aimed his wand towards the instrument. Before George could say anything, the instrument was reduced to a smaller size, easier to handle. "Not anymore," the Potions Master said while taking the keyboard in his arms. The size had been reduced by half under the musician's puzzled eyes.

"Are you… are you sure it'll come back to its normal size ?" he asked unsure. "Instruments are fragile stuff, you know."

Albus put a hand on his shoulder. "George, you may trust Severus. If he cast a reducing spell, he can cast the counter-spell. Don't worry."

George Nottingham had a grateful look for the Potions Master. "Thank you, Professor Snape." He was moved – that had been a thoughtful gesture indeed. "I guess we're all set then."

"Let's go out, so that I may ward the room. That way, nobody can enter that room, not even Muggle burglars. Your instruments will be safe, Mr Nottingham."

"Thank you again, Professor."

They all exited the room. Severus cast the series of wards. When he was done, the five men went out of the house. Dumbledore asked his Potions Master to cast the same series of wards on the backdoor and the main door – which was done. The Headmaster cast the Portkey spell on the small cauldron. In a matter of seconds, they were all back to 12 Grimmauld Place. Safely.

The whole operation had not lasted more than fifteen minutes.

* * *

They had all come back to the drawing-room, on their knees, clutching the instruments in their arms. Severus put the keyboard on the ground and cast the _Engorgio_ spell on it. "I think it should be fine now," he told George who marveled at the outcome.

"Yes, sure thing it is !" he said with warmth gratitude. He put a thankful hand on the Potions Master's shoulder. "Thank you so much, Professor Snape. That was really kind of you. Thanks to you all, actually."

"You should thank your daughter," Severus replied, a bit surprised by the familiar gesture. He could not gather how a man he had threatened so violently a few hours ago, was so friendly with him now. George Nottingham was not a man to hold grudges for a long time – contrary to him. He thought about Lorena : she and her father shared that same capacity to love, whatever happened to them. _Yes, it must be that._ Severus realized that Lorena's capacity to love unconditionally came most likely from her father. Maybe also from her mother and her grandmother. Contrary to him, despite all the trials and losses her family had sustained, she and her father had grown up in a united family, with loving parents.

"You're right, Professor," George said. "Please thank her for me and tell her that I'll behave, now that I have my instruments with me."

"I will."

Sirius suggested they stored the instruments in the library for the time being, at least for the bigger ones. George agreed. Severus and Albus left a few minutes later to go back to Hogwarts. Kingsley promised to come back on Monday to accompany him to the parole officer's place. Sirius remained alone with his new friend.

"Well, now, I guess you'll be busy."

"I don't forget, I can teach you, if you still wish so."

"More than ever."

The two men spent the rest of the evening in the library. Sirius even magicked the keyboard so that he did not need to work with electricity. George was amazed by what magic could achieve. He was eager to learn how to master that power he had in himself – at least as much as Sirius wanted to learn how to play music.

By the time George Nottingham hit the sack, he knew that this gloomy place would be way better than the jailhouse. It promised at least to be much more interesting to stay here than rot in prison.

* * *

___**George Nottingham settling down in the Black house and making friends with Sirius. We have also a bit of insight as far as his family is concerned.**_

_**A bit of baiting between Sirius and Severus – that's almost unavoidable between these two. **_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! The muses do love to read you, dear readers ! Including you who are lurking !**_


	113. Tears in Heaven

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**113 – Tears in Heaven**

George Lord Nottingham had adapted himself to his new life rather quickly. Life was better here in 12 Grimmauld Place than in the Liverpool jail. He had a room for himself, his instruments, he could play as much as he wanted to, enough to eat in his plate. He had made himself a new friend with Sirius.

He had also met the other members of the Order of the Phoenix, when they met for Order business. Of course, George Nottingham was no allowed to attend these meetings but he did not mind. Sirius had explained to him what the Order did. Fighting Voldemort and his gang of Death-Eaters. He had also told him more about his family background and the reasons why he felt bad in his parents' house.

George had also met Sirius' mother – through her portrait. She had insulted him as usual when she did with all strangers that entered her home. He had talked her back in Parseltongue. This had shut her up suddenly – to Sirius' amazement and fun. "Looks like the old coot has recognized Slytherin's language."

"Slytherin's language ?"

So Sirius explained to him everything. It had been the opportunity for George Nottingham to learn more about the wizarding world. That Salazar Slytherin was a Parselmouth, like the Gaunts, hence his mother's respect. Like many wizards and witches, she did not speak Parseltongue but she knew enough to recognize it. "Dark wizard," she had muttered.

"Why does your mother call me 'Dark wizard' ?"

Sirius looked embarrassed. "Parseltongue is said to be the language spoken by Dark wizards and used in Dark magic. Well, in fact, it is associated with them because Voldemort is a Dark wizard and a Parselmouth himself. Not all Dark wizards are Parselmouths while Parseltongue, well…"

"Me and my daughter are not Dark wizards. Hey, I'm not even a wizard, I mean, a trained wizard. I don't think my mother used Dark magic either. But we speak Parseltongue all the same."

"I know, it's just prejudices. Most Dark wizards do not speak Parseltongue. See Snape, for example."

"The Potions professor at Hogwarts ? The Head of the House of Slytherin ? Is he a Dark wizard ?"

"The very same. And yes, he's a Dark wizard."

"How come such a wizard can teach in a school ?"

"He's a brilliant mind. He's a genius at Potions – he's a Potions Master. They are not so many. Some potions can only be made by a Potions Master. Potion-making is complex stuff. He's a Dark Arts expert too. He used to be a Death-Eater but Albus Dumbledore says he's reformed. He works for the Order now."

"What kind of job does he do for the Order ?"

"He spies on Voldemort for us. But I don't trust him. I agree with the others : _'Once a Death-Eater, always a Death-Eater'_, so goes the saying. If you pay attention, every time we say the name of his Master, 'Voldemort', he rubs his left forearm. That's where Voldemort brands them with the Dark Mark – like cattle. You'll never hear him call Voldemort by his name. He'll always use 'Dark Lord' instead."

The explanation left George thoughtful. "A dangerous job, spying," he commented.

"Yes, a dangerous job for a dangerous wizard, I can tell you. You saw how he threatened you, even in presence of your daughter. I've been in class with _Snivellus_ at Hogwarts. Yes, with my friends, we used to call him like that. He knew more hexes and curses when he entered in first-year than most of the seventh-years there. He also invented some spells which are not always very friendly." He paused. "Dark stuff, believe me."

George shuddered retrospectively when thinking he had been at the receiving end of the Dark wizard's wand. "You don't seem to like him very much."

"No, I don't. We were four friends, while Snape hanged out with a gang of Slytherins that all became Death-Eaters once out of Hogwarts." He also told him about the Marauders. "Remus was one of them. He's the only left with me. James… my best friend… died in 1981, killed with his wife and son by Voldemort himself, in their home." He sighed. "The Potters have been betrayed and I know who did that."

"You mentioned four friends. What about the fourth one ?"

"Peter Pettigrew… betrayed our friends. Thanks to him, I was sentenced to life in Azkaban. Peter had become a Death-Eater. The day I lay my hands on him…" A dangerous glint flashed in his blue eyes.

"Yet, your dislike of Professor Snape does not date back from the fight with Voldemort, I guess."

"No, you're right. Dates back from our days in Hogwarts. House rivalry. He was in Slytherin and I was in Gryffindor, with my three friends." And Sirius went on explaining about the whole system of houses in Hogwarts, the sorting according to each child's capacities and character, how it shaped their life and their future.

"My daughter Lorena is in Slytherin."

"Did she never talk to you about all this ?"

"Never had much time in jail, you know. Less than one hour every six months compels you to be rather concise and selective in conversation topics. Besides, it's not that much her nature to be partial."

"I understand. You see, my whole family here was in Slytherin at Hogwarts. I was the only one to be sorted into Gryffindor. No need to tell you that it didn't improve my relationships with my family."

Saying so, Sirius had showed him the Black family tree in the drawing room. "See, they had burnt me to oblivion because I'm a pureblood wizard friendly with Muggles and Muggle-borns. A blood-traitor." He shrugged. "But now I don't care. They are all dead and I'm the landlord here now. I still have three cousins but I almost never see them. Well, I'm supposed to hide ! One is like me, ah, here… Andromeda. She had been burnt to oblivion too because she had married a Muggle-born wizard, Ted Tonks. A nice chap. You'll meet their daughter, Nymphadora Tonks. She works with Kingsley as an Auror."

"An Auror ?"

"Aurors are what Muggles call cops in their world. You'll meet Alastor Moody. He's a retired Auror, the most famous Dark wizard hunter. He's now teaching at Hogwarts this year. Defense Against the Dark Arts. Good for the kids, he knows the subject and he's a nice guy, despite all the scars on his face. Though I've been told that Snape has been appointed a teacher for the course too. I'm less convinced this is a good idea to let a Dark wizard teach such a subject."

"Well, at least he knows what he's talking about. There's nothing worse than teachers that know nothing about what they are supposed to teach."

"True. There had been too many incompetent teachers in that position before. A great turnover too. You see, Voldemort had applied for the job years ago. Dumbledore was already Headmaster and he refused him the position. So Voldemort cursed it – no teacher could stay in the job for more than one year. Dumbledore believed that by splitting the position in two, it would weaken the curse. I'm not convinced there either. I'd rather agree with the notion that the end of the war is close to an end according to Voldemort. That's what _Snivellus_ reported to us."

"You said that you don't trust Professor Snape. Yet, you seem to give credit to his reports. At least, Professor Dumbledore does."

Sirius felt blushing out of embarrassment. "Yeah… you're right. The information comes directly from Voldemort via our spy. Yet, the conclusions have been drawn by Dumbledore."

Sirius did not seem to continue on that subject. His finger traced their way on the tapestry. He reverted to their initial topic – family. "As for the two others, one is married to a Death-Eater, Narcissa Malfoy, while the other is a Death-Eater herself – my dear cousin Bellatrix Lestrange. They even say she's Voldemort's mistress or whatever."

Sirius smirked. "Nice family, you see." He burst out in laughter in front of his new friend's thoughtful face. "Don't feel bad !"

"When I thought I had it bad to be born a descendant of the Sheriff of Nottingham and his witch mother…" George chuckled and explained the story to Sirius.

"Anyway, as your daughter explained, you're a descendant of Salazar Slytherin."

"And a parent with that Voldemort fellow too."

"When I thought I had it bad being related to Death-Eater families," Sirius said with a grin.

Both men ended up having a good laugh over their respective families.

"I wonder where I would have been sorted," George said thoughtfully, once they had both recovered from their fit of laughter.

"Who knows ?" Sirius replied.

"Slytherin or Gryffindor. I'm not that brilliant, so not in Ravenclaw. But the notion of courage, that appeals to me. Though I may have ended up in Slytherin if that's the family tradition. My mother was a Slytherin, she had been pleased to know that Lorena had been sorted there too. But we did not talk much about Hogwarts. You see, she never talked to me about Hogwarts when I was a child. She had snatched the letter of invitation when it had been sent to me. Later, she did not want me to send my daughter there, yet without telling me the reason why. Now I understand her concern."

Sirius patted George's shoulder. "I understand too. I lost my brother Regulus to Voldemort. He had become a Death-Eater but he backed off a few years after taking the Dark Mark. Unfortunately, Death-Eater is a job you don't quit like that. Either you remain, or you die. There's no in-between with Voldemort." He sighed. "That's why I say that Snape is still a Death-Eater. After all, he's still alive."

George Nottingham remained silent. _Is that the man that's supposed to look after my own daughter ?_ he could not help thinking. Yet, he had the feeling that the man would mean no harm to Lorena. On the contrary, he looked really protective of her. Maybe a bit too much.

If only he knew.

* * *

Lorena had felt better to know that her father was now safe. She also felt relieved that he knew the whole truth about his family and ancestry. He had accepted it too. She went on with her school life. But it became more and more difficult for her to follow physically. She was exhausted at the end of the day and wished for the moment of her delivery to come faster.

She had regular news of her father thanks to Severus and the Headmaster. She had learned that her father had gotten into a routine of life that seemed to suit him. She was relieved to know he behaved and did not try to go out – except when accompanied to report to his parole officer on a weekly basis. Apparently, the company of other people, and Sirius in particular, helped him to remain on the right path. She had learned Sirius taught his father a bit of magic while her father taught him a few things on his instruments. Sirius seemed to have a taste for the guitar in particular.

George Nottingham had become quickly friends with Kingsley Shacklebolt too, though the Black man was the equivalent of a cop in the magical world. Kingsley had something really soothing about him and he knew Muggle ways so well – conversations with him were always entertaining. He had also met Arthur Weasley and his wife Molly. Arthur became friends with George quickly – he was an absolute fan of everything Muggle, to George's great amusement.

He was kindly welcomed by Remus Lupin, the other close friend of Sirius. Though more than ten years their senior, George felt good in company of Sirius and Remus. Sirius had explained to him that Remus was a werewolf, not to be messed up with during the full moon but otherwise a decent guy. The only remaining friend he had from the Marauder group.

George was introduced to Alastor Moody and Mundungus Fletcher. These two were strange in their appearances and behaviors but George knew better. He could see beyond that. Moody proved to be a reliable individual, a bit paranoid but still a decent man too. Of course, Moody was aware that George Nottingham was Lorena's father yet he never told him anything about his relationship with his daughter. Albus had told him about the fuss George had made over his daughter's pregnancy… Moody knew better. No need to add more fuel. Besides, the ex-Auror had decided his story with Lorena was over definitively. He loved her and that would hurt. At the same time, he was aware that he was too old for her and that would lead to problems in the future. He just let it go. Lorena had been a bright star in his lonely night. A star that would continue to shine in his heart for a long time…

As for Dung, well… he hit it off with him as a kindred spirit in terms of run-ins with the law. George had been a petty criminal offender too. He made Dung laugh when he explained to him how he had landed in the maximum security wing of the Liverpool jail – for armed robbery with an unloaded gun…

George enjoyed also the Weasleys' attentions. The couple explained that they had three children in Hogwarts, two adult sons living abroad. Their last child, a daughter, was still too young to attend Hogwarts. They reassured him about Dumbledore and his staff – including Professor Snape. _Looks like the Headmaster is not the only one to trust his spy after all._ Maybe Sirius had described the Potions Master to him only according to his own distorted filter.

George had also met Kreacher, the Black house elf. The creature had looked at him with suspicion first but when he had heard George speak Parseltongue, he began to feel respect for the man. Surely a wizard of noble lineage. Like the other house elves, he had felt that his daughter was powerful too. He had to admit that he feared them, hence his respect. Also, George treated him with more than respect – he was genuinely kind. Secretly, the elf enjoyed the music crafted by George. He kept the best food for him. George never tried to speak badly to him either – the elf was just another person to him.

He had news of his daughter thanks to his contact with Professor Snape directly. First, the man had appeared cold and distant with him. But George discovered that he was as such with everyone. Nothing personal then, only his nature. Besides, he found the spy's sarcastic remarks really funny sometimes, even when they were – most of the time – uttered at Sirius' expense.

So all in all, George had to reckon that life at 12 Grimmauld Place was not so bad, in fact a far better deal than the jailhouse. He did not regret his move there. He just wanted to see his daughter more but Albus Dumbledore had explained to him that she had a lot of school work now. Her father understood. He would have to be patient.

* * *

One evening of the following week, George was busy in the library with his instruments. The members of the Order of the Phoenix were to convene in the dining-room, dubbed the meeting room. That meant he was on his own for the whole evening. He did not mind. He took his guitar and checked a few scores.

_Ah, long time I__ haven't played this one… Good old Clapton stuff._ He scratched a few notes on the strings before trying the tune. He hummed the lyrics, his eyes on the score for the words. He stopped in the middle, sniffing. The song made him thought about his late wife – Lorena's mother.

_Would you know my name  
__If I saw you in Heaven ?  
__Would you be the same  
__If I saw you in Heaven ?_

_I must be strong / And carry on  
_'_Cause I know / I don't belong  
__Here in Heaven_

Severus had just arrived in the house through Floo, when he heard the few sweet notes played on the guitar, coming from the library. The lyrics drew him there. Sitting in front of the grate, his face lit by the fire, George Nottingham was playing and singing there very softly. His eyes were bright with tears. The emotion was palpable in the room. Severus decided to remain on the threshold, in the dark.

_Would you hold my hand  
__If I saw you in Heaven ?  
__Would you help me stand  
__If I saw you in Heaven ?_

_I'll find my way / Through night and day  
_'_Cause I know / I just can't stay  
__Here in Heaven_

George stopped suddenly, sniffling and wiping a tear on his cheek. "Oh, Fiona…" Severus realized then that the man was still grieving for his wife. _Like I had grieved for Lily._ He knew that it would take years before getting over. _And she had been his wife, she had loved him, she had given him a child. Lily… had never loved me, she liked me only and it had never been beyond friendship between us… for her… while I loved her dearly._ To the point he had chosen to give up his own life for her, with that Unbreakable Vow taken with Dumbledore long ago.

The song lyrics had a strong appeal to Severus. He was in advance for the meeting. He would wait here, listening to the rest of the song. George Nottingham resumed singing.

_Time can bring you down  
__Time can bend your knees  
__Time can break your heart  
__Have you begging please  
__Begging please…_

Oh, how much he had begged Dumbledore for Lily's safety ! How much his heart had been broken when she had died ! Severus had wanted to die then. He would have, had it not been for Dumbledore and his damn Vow. He saw George Nottingham's cheeks glisten with tears while he was playing. He had the same ability than his daughter to express emotion at a very deep level, while being able to continue playing. Severus envied him to be able to do so. _Maybe it comes with being a musician after all ?_ George's fingers ran on the guitar strings, pinching them firmly.

_Beyond the door / There's peace I'm sure  
__And I know / There'll be no more  
__Tears in Heaven_

_Would you know my name  
__If I saw you in Heaven ?  
__Would you be the same  
__If I saw you in Heaven ?  
__  
I must be strong / And carry on  
_'_Cause I know / I don't belong  
__Here in Heaven_

'_Cause I know / There'll be no more  
__Tears in Heaven_

The song ended very gently. "How I miss you, Fiona…" the musician said softly. He sighed deeply. "When am I going to get over you ?" he asked aloud.

Severus wanted to come forward and tell him that one day, he would get over, that time would help. But he did not wish to intrude. He was a private man careful not to tread upon another man's privacy. _There are things we have to work out by ourselves – unfortunately._

Discreetly, Severus stepped back into the corridor and went to the meeting room. The song had reminded him of Lily and everything he had suffered. _I don't want this anymore._ He had sworn he would not love again. Yet, now he was involved with Lorena. He had an unborn son with her. He had to move on – he had in fact. He imagined what would happen to him if Lorena died. _I would die then, thanks to the Unbreakable Vow. _

For the first time, he considered the Vow from a positive perspective – he would not be able to get over Lorena if she died, like he had done with Lily. The pain would be too much to handle for him. _Better for me to die then._

Severus had always considered that he would not see the end of this war. He had already lived much more than he would have expected first when he had begun spying on the Dark Lord. He considered himself very lucky to have lived that long. 'Survived' would be a better term. He would have welcomed death gladly then, so that he would have been reunited with Lily. Life without her had not meant anything for him. He had just kept on living to bring the Dark Lord down, so that the sacrifice of her life would not have been made in vain.

Yet, now, there was Lorena. His feelings for her. Severus did not wish to die anymore. His Slytherin sense of self-preservation was now strengthened by his love for her. He would live for her. He would fight for her. Even if that would mean dying for her eventually.

_Would you mourn for me, Lorena ? Because I'll be there for you, waiting for you there… in __Hell or Heaven… wherever I'll be… I'll wait for you…_

* * *

_**George Nottingham learns more about Sirius, his family, his friends**__** (the Marauders), his foes (the Death-Eaters), including Severus, about which he perceives things without being able to state them explicitly. **_

_**Where do you think George Nottingham would have been sorted ? Any ideas, dear readers ?**_

_**Two remarks :**_

_**- O**__**f course, in my story, the whole Potter family had died from the hand of Voldemort. Hence no Harry Potter here.**_

_**- Similarly, there is no Ron Weasley**__** either. Arthur and Molly have only Bill, Charlie, Percy, Fred & George, and Ginny.**_

_**The song featured in the last part of the chapter is the famous **_**"Tears in Heaven"**_** by Eric Clapton. George Nottingham is a blues / soul musician, no wonder he knows the works of Eric Clapton, a fine blues musician himself (and one of my favorites). Hence this chapter title. George has yet to deal with his wife's death.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! **__**The muses do love to read your reviews…**_


	114. War plans

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**114 – ****War plans**

Everybody was present, sitting around the table in the imposing meeting room. Albus Dumbledore was sitting at the end of the table, with Severus at his right.

"Your report, Severus, please. You've been summoned this week. What are Tom's projects now ?"

"The Dark Lord has completed the last phase of his preparation plan. He believes he should be able to implement his project before the end of the academic year."

"Go on," the Headmaster said. "More precisely ?"

"Everything revolves around the blood sacrifice ritual, which is to take place on Beltaine. He has split his Death-Eaters into three parties. One, led by Lucius Malfoy, is to take over the Ministry. Lucius knows many people there and he has many allies too. As you are already aware, he has maneuvered carefully to place some of these allies of his and Death-Eaters alike in strategically important positions at the Ministry."

"Yes, I can confirm that," Arthur Weasley said. "Suspicion is growing there. I'm sure that Kingsley can say the same."

The Auror nodded in agreement. "Our allies and Order members working at the Ministry have reported strange movements in the personnel. Looks like Malfoy is moving his pawns in the directions he wishes them to be. Unfortunately, there's nothing much we can do about it. Only our Department seems to be immune to this. I have issued specific recommendations of caution to all our members and allies working at the Ministry."

Dumbledore nodded. "Thank you, gentlemen. You did fine, Kingsley. It's very important that our people be warned. Severus, as soon as we know about this plan at the Ministry, how the take over is going to be done there, we'll be able to issue more thorough counter-measures."

The Potions Master nodded. "I'm not sure whether I'll have access to this part of the plan though. The Dark Lord may say things to Lucius only as this plan does concern him only. I may be fed with false information for you, Headmaster. I'm his spy on you."

Dumbledore stroked his beard thoughtfully. "Go on, Severus. What about the other parties ?"

"The other targets are Hogwarts and yourself, Headmaster. That party is to be led by Bellatrix Lestrange." A pause. "This is tricky. Bellatrix is unpredictable. Even given an exact plan, she may get carried away by her passion for chaos and destruction. The woman's insane."

"Though my dear cousin would do anything for her lover," Sirius said. "Maybe she'll stick to the plan laid out by… Voldemort." He had said the name on purpose – he knew it made Severus suffer.

The Potions Master rubbed his left forearm under the table but his face remained unflappable, except for his dark gaze that shot a death glare to his former nemesis. "We may hope she'll do that. But honestly, I would not count on it. As I have already informed you, the Dark Lord expects some of his Death-Eaters' children enrolled at Hogwarts to wreck havoc in the school as a diversion. No doubt Bellatrix will rely on that."

"We'll take care of that, so that she won't have this support," Minerva said with a determined voice.

Severus nodded and went on. "Otherwise, I don't know what the exact plan is. Except for one detail though."

"And that is ?" Albus asked.

"She has to arrange things so that one person in the castle gets isolated from the rest of the staff and students."

"Who is that person ?" Moody asked, his magical eye trained on Severus.

Severus looked at the old wizard sitting on his left. "You, Headmaster."

"Tom wants to challenge me. He wants to duel with me, I think."

"That's the plan, Headmaster. Bellatrix has received order not to kill you. She has to have you isolated from the rest of the staff and bring you to the Dark Lord."

"We have to think of the children," Minerva said. "Bellatrix Lestrange will be ready to anything to get you, Albus. Including killing students who will happen to be on her way."

Molly voiced her concern – she had three sons there after all. Her mother's heart spoke for all the parents that had children in Hogwarts. "We should start thinking of a plan that would enable the staff and prefects to evacuate the children very quickly. From what I've gathered, we have not an exact idea of when the attack on Hogwarts is to take place. Except for the date, but not the time on that day. Could be any moment on Beltaine, night or day."

"Indeed," Albus replied. "I'll spare our dear Bellatrix that effort."

"What do you mean, Albus ?" Minerva's tone reflected her worry.

"Don't worry about me, Minerva," he brushed her concern away with a wink in his blue eye. "I want you and the other Heads of House, including you, Severus, to think of such a plan." A pause. "Severus, do we have an idea when the attack is to happen, like Molly said ?"

"The Dark Lord is hell-bent on Beltaine. That's all I can tell. I have no time frame or whatever."

"Beltaine, that's a magical date," Remus said softly. "Does he plan to attack Hogsmeade too ?"

Severus watched his former classmate. "Although this has not been mentioned, it may be possible."

"I'll tell Aberforth and Rosmerta to be ready," Albus said. "We have to think of this if we plan to evacuate our students to Hogsmeade. We cannot send them out of danger in Hogwarts into harm's way in Hogsmeade."

"Maybe we could send the youngest to the Shrieking Shack," Sirius suggested.

Severus glanced at his former classmate. "The Shrieking Shack is unfortunately unavailable. It's part of the Dark Lord's third plan."

"And which plan ? By the way, _Snivellus,_ where will you be in all this ?" Sirius sneered. "Hidden away in your dungeons, playing with your chemistry set ?"

Severus' dark gaze shone forth with sheer loathing. Sirius grinned at him insolently in reply. "Being hidden away in _my_ dungeons will still be less comfortable and more useful than _your_ being hidden here like a little boy in his mother's house." His voice was icy.

Sirius' grin disappeared from his face. Severus smirked at him in satisfaction and turned his attention towards the Headmaster. The mangy mutt had handed him over the stick to get roughed up after all.

"My boys, please… Not really the moment, will you ?" Albus said reproachfully. "Severus, what is the third party ? You mentioned the Shrieking Shack."

"Your suggestion worked well, Headmaster. I gave the idea of the Shrieking Shack to the Dark Lord that accepted it at once. He knows about the place. He finds it practical to serve his purposes as it's close to Hogwarts and Hogsmeade."

"Excuse me, but I'm not sure whether I've followed correctly. What's supposed to happen in the Shrieking Shack ? What about that third party you were alluding to, Severus ?" Nymphadora Tonks had asked the questions this time.

That was the hardest part of all for Severus. He glanced at the Headmaster, seeking approval to continue with the explanations.

"Go on, Severus."

The Potions Master's tone remained collected, as usual. "The Dark Lord intends to make a Dark blood magic ritual there. He needs to make a particular sacrifice. A sacrifice that is to involve a young woman endowed with a particular magic. The Dark Lord had planned to take the girl's virginity on last Halloween but that was thwarted as she was no longer a virgin when he had raped her then." He swallowed hard. "She's pregnant. The Dark Lord had raped her on Halloween night. Save that this child is not his actually." He lowered his gaze for a second or two – thinking whose child it was. _Mine._ "You're all aware of the power held by a child born out of rape on Halloween night, I suppose."

"Don't tell us he's going to…" Remus began. He suspected what the reply would be. He had already about this kind of ritual.

Molly Weasley put a hand on her mouth to stifle a horrified gasp. Severus nodded.

"The Dark Lord will sacrifice her during a rather gruesome blood magic ritual. He will…" His throat was tight with the horrendous prospect. "He will take the child out of its mother's womb and kill it during the ritual to get the mother's and the child's magic."

"But why should he do this ?" Remus let out with indignation.

"The child, a boy, has loads of magic already. His mother is a powerful witch, endowed with a particular brand of magic called elemental magic. The Dark Lord is convinced that once both mother and child will be sacrificed, he will get their magical powers. Once he has these powers, he thinks he will be able to kill the wizard he fears most. You, Headmaster."

Silence fell around the table. Arthur Weasley was the first one to break it. "Do we know this young woman ? Where is she now ?"

This time, Albus replied. "She's one of our students. Miss Lorena Nottingham. Her father's here, under our protection. Not a word to him about all this." He sighed. "She had been cursed blind almost two years ago, by Tom. He had hoped then she would be more easily available to his influence once out of Hogwarts. She had spent a year in an institution for the blind, part of St. Mungo. There she learned how to live with her new disability. When we learned about Tom's plan for her, I decided to welcome her back to Hogwarts, where she is now, safe. She's a sixth-year student of the House of Slytherin."

Sirius exchanged a glance with Kingsley. Both men knew the truth already about the girl. Well, almost. "Voldemort will need to have someone to perform this ritual. Hence his third party at the Shrieking Shack. Where will you be then, _Snivellus_ ?"

Severus did his best efforts to school his features to be unreadable. "I'm going to assist him. In fact…" He lowered his eyes for a split second. "I'm the only one the Dark Lord trusts enough, because of my medical knowledge as a Potions Master. I'm in charge of…" His voice trailed off to a whisper. "I'll have to remove the child from its mother's womb."

This time, loud gasps rose from the table around. Sirius and Kingsley knew that Voldemort was after Lorena – but to that point ? No, because Albus had not mentioned it in details, lest he may scare her father. He had just said that Voldemort wanted to kill the young woman.

"And except you and Voldemort, will there be other Death-Eaters ?" Arthur asked.

"Two other innocent people are involved," Severus went on. "The Dark Lord assigned a mission to Draco Malfoy. The boy will have to bring his housemate to him."

"Then the boy is in danger too," Remus said. "He'll have to be protected as well. Two students of your own House, Severus."

"Indeed," the Potions Master said. "However, Draco Malfoy doesn't know it yet. Only his father knows about the order assigned to his son. He will have to inform Draco, most likely during the Easter holidays, when the boy is back home then."

"I agree with Remus," Alastor said. "The boy will have to be protected too. Do you think he'll be able to carry out the deed Voldemort has ordered him to perform ?"

"No idea."

"Whether or not he's able to do so, is irrelevant," Albus explained. "However, if the boy does carry out the order he was given, his housemate is in grave danger. If he doesn't carry out the order, his life and that of his father will most likely be jeopardized."

"Lucius Malfoy will be at the Ministry. He can take care of himself. I insist that the boy be protected," Alastor said. "His father can be punished, he's just a Death-Eater, while his son is not."

"Not yet," Severus said. "Unfortunately, the Dark Lord has already planned everything. I mentioned _two_ innocent people. Draco is one. Narcissa Malfoy is the other one. She will be part of the third team in the Shrieking Shack. Officially, as a helper for the girl. In my opinion, she's more there as a hostage in case Draco would fail. The Dark Lord hinted to Lucius that if he doesn't bring his wife to the Shrieking Shack, both he and his son will be punished cruelly. Narcissa doesn't know it yet either."

"Either way, they lose and their boy is doomed," Molly said. She did not like the Malfoys much but she was a mum. She could relate to the family issue at hand. She did not envy Narcissa's position.

"Surely Lucius Malfoy will contact you, Severus," Kingsley said. "I mean, it's a known fact that Malfoys stick together as a family. That's part of their ethics. Not sure Lucius will not try something to save his family first."

"He'd better not. The Dark Lord told him that should he fail at the Ministry, he would never see his family alive again." Severus sighed. "If Draco fails, his mother shall be killed and Lucius punished most likely, whether or not he succeeds at the Ministry." Severus sighed again. "The Dark Lord has planned to play the Malfoys against each other. He's also aware of theirs ethics, as you called them, Kingsley. Love… is a leverage he never wastes to use."

Severus glanced at the Headmaster – that understood at once that his Potions Master was not talking about the Malfoys only.

"So what do we do ? Let young Mr Malfoy bring Lorena to You-Know-Who ?" Minerva asked, her tone full of indignation.

"We may not have any other choice, Minerva," Severus said.

"She's not a piece of meat ! Neither is the boy ! Albus !"

"I agree… with Severus." His steely blue eyes peered at the various members of the Order present around the table. "Our options are limited." He sighed. Now was the time to give his orders. He sighed. More and more the old Headmaster had the feeling he had to decide between who lived… and who died. He resented that. That power had always terrified him. Today more than ever.

"Arthur, Kingsley, Tonks, you're in charge of collecting as much information about all the changes in personnel taking place at the Ministry. That way, we may gather how Tom's final plan there will look like. Warn your contacts there to be careful so as not to raise any suspicions we may know something."

The three nodded in agreement.

"Alastor, Minerva, as you're in Hogwarts, you'll see with the rest of the staff regarding how to organize our defense there and the possible evacuation routes to Hogsmeade, in particular with the Heads of Houses."

The two teachers agreed.

"Remus, try to get more information about the werewolves, if they are to be involved or not. Honestly, I'd be surprised if they were absent. Fenrir Greyback is so much eager to please his new Master. You told me last time that he had been recruited. Try to know where Greyback will be sent – either to Hogwarts as part of Bellatrix' team, or to the Ministry to assist Lucius. I'll send Hagrid to enquire about the Forbidden Forest creatures. Maybe we could strike an alliance with the Centaurs there, for example."

"Yes, Albus, I will."

"Severus, besides your usual part as a spy on Tom, try also to know how the Malfoys take it to be taken hostages that way. It may be possible that once Draco or Narcissa are aware of all this, they may come to you. I would not be surprised. Let them come to you then."

"Yes, Headmaster."

"As for you, Sirius, not a single word about all this to George Nottingham. Especially about how gruesome his daughter's death may be. I don't want any foolish gesture from an untrained adult wizard." His steely blue gaze had lost its usual twinkle. The younger wizard knew why he had to remain silent. The daughter would have to be saved from Voldemort's clutches. No need to add her father that may try to get to save her no matter what.

"No problem, Albus."

"Keep teaching him how to use a wand. I'm aware he cannot master magic as much as someone that would have spent seven years in Hogwarts but all the same."

"True, but he's an adult, his magic is mature and he has lots of them in him. He's also a very fast learner. I'm not a Dark Arts expert but I'm sure I can teach him a thing or two." He had said his last sentence with a narrowed gaze on Severus.

"Try to teach him how to cast an _Expelliarmus_ correctly," the Potions Master quipped. "If I remember well, it's your friend Potter that used to cast it as you were obviously unable to do so." He smirked nastily.

Sirius fumed with inner seething rage. "The meeting is over," Albus said to stop the argument. The younger wizard said nothing and rose from his seat. The others did the same. Severus remained seated. Albus saw it, reading the concern on his face.

Once they were alone, he put a hand on the Potions Master's. "Everything's going to be alright, Severus. We'll find a way to spare her as well as your godson and Narcissa too. Once we're back to Hogwarts, I'll provide you with the information I want you to forward to Tom in return. He believes you to be so well informed. More than ever, you have to remain in his favor and keep your cover intact. At any cost."

_Including __the cost to my soul, Dumbledore ? What about my soul ? Mine ?_

Severus nodded. His face was paler than usual. "He asked me to kill _her_." His voice was reduced to a breath.

"I keep the Unbreakable Vow in mind, Severus. I don't want you to die either. I want nobody to die next Beltaine." He sighed. "If there's one killing to make, I'll make it and it shall be on Tom. I know your soul is ripped enough. I won't have it ripped more than it is already."

* * *

_**Albus is like a general planning a battle. Voldemort better be ready ! Yeee-aaaah ! (rebel yell)**_

_**I hope I've kept everyone in this chapter in character – especially the interaction between Severus and Sirius.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! The muses need feeding, please, it takes a few minutes only to leave a review…**_


	115. A mother's love

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**115 – ****A mother's love**

Like Dumbledore had planned, Narcissa Malfoy tried to reach Severus. One evening, she came to Hogwarts by Floo, stepping in the Headmaster's office, in which there was the only Hogwarts grate officially connected to the outside world. Albus received her warmly. She was quite anxious. She wanted to see Severus as quick as possible, if that was possible. About her son Draco.

"Narcissa, I was about to go Minerva downstairs. I'll go and see Severus before. Would you mind waiting for him here ?"

"No, Headmaster. Thank you so much for your help." She was really worried and it showed on her face. Her voice was shaky.

"Be my guest then." He conjured up some hot tea in a kettle and a few biscuits, along with some of his infamous lemon sweets. "Help yourself."

She thanked him again. Albus left his office. Narcissa was alone, sitting in a chair in front of the Headmaster's desk. She sighed, a glass of warm tea in her hand. A light scent of lemon wafted in the air – she remembered fondly how the Headmaster loved lemon in general.

The comforting thought left her quickly though as her mind went back to her son. There was only one person in this world able to help her and Draco. She steeled herself not to cry. She tried to get a grip on her emotions by watching her surroundings. Her gaze fell to the floor nearby the imposing desk. A piece of parchment caught her attention. Probably a document that the Headmaster had let fall to the ground. She leant down to pick it up and put it back on the desk. She was about to place it on the desk when a detail drew her attention. A name.

Malfoy.

She watched the paper more closely. It looked like a family tree. Surprised, she studied the document. Not only the Malfoy branch to which she belonged through marriage was featured there, but also two other families.

The Gaunts. The Nottinghams. _Nottingham ? Like Draco's housemate, that talented musician ?_ She kept on reading and the document confirmed it to her. Her lips parted, her eyes went bigger, as she read the names on the family tree.

Most of the names were in black. A few others were in green ink. Three names were in red ink. All had been written in Dumbledore's elegant handwriting.

Tom Riddle Jr. – George Lord Nottingham – Lorena Lady Nottingham. _That's the girl indeed._

These three names had been put down in red ink. _Why ? What do they have in common ?_

Because they must have had something in common. Narcissa's eyes went to the top of the family tree. Thaddeus Gaunt and Calpurnia Malfoy. A direct family line linked Calpurnia Malfoy and Lorena Nottingham, through Cassiope Gaunt and George Nottingham.

Reality struck Narcissa. _That Mudblood girl is not a Mudblood ! She's…_ She counted the generations separating the girl from her Malfoy ancestor. A Malfoy ancestor that was no other than her husband's grand-aunt. The sister of Lucius' grandfather.

Lorena Nottingham had one-eighth of Malfoy blood in her veins. More than Narcissa, née Black, would ever have. That meant that the girl was at least a half-blood. _Like Severus._

Thinking of Draco's godfather, Narcissa came back to reality. She pondered for a few seconds what she would do with her discovery. She took her wand out and duplicated the parchment. She put the original back onto the desk. She folded the copy and shoved it into her robes pocket.

She was not sure if she would show it to Lucius though. But she needed the document to enquire later. Now, she had other more pressing matters to attend to. Her son Draco.

* * *

Severus entered the Headmaster's office and rushed towards Narcissa. She watched him with a more than concerned look in her blue eyes. She rose from her seat. "Severus !"

"Narcissa, how are you doing ?"

"Oh, Severus, where is it safe to talk without being overheard or interrupted ?" She glanced around in a gesture that showed the portraits hanging on the walls.

He gathered her thought and led her to another room adjacent to the Headmaster's office – the same room where Dumbledore had tried to reconcile him with Lorena months ago. He made her sit down.

"I… I know I should not be here…" she began, unsure. "The Dark Lord himself forbade us to speak about it…"

"If the Dark Lord forbade you to do so, then you should not speak about it, Narcissa," he gently scolded her.

She sighed, her blue eyes in panic exchanging a gaze with his charcoal eyes. She swallowed hard. What was the most important to her now ? Her obedience to her husband's Master, or her loyalty to her family ? Her love as a mother ?

Severus read all this on her pale face. He took mercy on her. "As it so happens… I'm aware of your situation, Narcissa."

"You ? The Dark Lord… told you ?" A relieved look washed over her face. She even managed to give him a tiny smile. She would not have to betray the Dark Lord. "No, make no mistake. I don't doubt you, Severus."

He watched her carefully, assessing her next move – and planning his.

She had another faint smile. "He's just a boy…" she said in a whisper, standing up to her feet, a hopeful yet painful look on her face. She stepped closer to him. He could see tears welling up in her sad, blue eyes. "Severus…"

"Does Lucius know that you're here ?"

She shook her head. "No, he doesn't." A pause. "He told me yesterday about our respective assignments given by the Dark Lord. I must remain in the Dark Lord's company to assist him with the girl he intends to sacrifice on Beltaine, while Draco is to bring her to him. Lucius is in charge of taking over the Ministry." She shuddered. "Severus. The Dark Lord has taken us hostages. Draco is to stay at the Shrieking Shack too, with me. I don't mind dying but my son… my only son ! I don't want him to die !" This time, tears rolled down her cheeks. "I want him safe !"

"I can't change the Dark Lord's plans." A pause. Narcissa's gaze fell to the ground in despair. She knew that already. "But it might be possible for me to help Draco," he ended up saying softly. "And you."

She sniffled. "What… what are you going to do ?"

"I don't know it yet. I'll keep an eye on him for sure. I'll intensify his Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons with extra tutoring. I'll help him improve his Occlumency skills if needed." He knew he was threading on thin ice. He could not tell her that he would tell Dumbledore about all this – while he would, of course. "But you have to promise me one thing, Narcissa. Everything that has been said here, shall remain here. Not a word to anyone, not even Lucius. As for your son, you may just suggest him to come and see me for further advice."

She got a grip on herself and agreed. "Lucius won't be with us on that night. He'll be in London. He's in charge of taking over the Ministry," she repeated, tears in her eyes.

"I know that."

"Severus, the Dark Lord's playing each one of us against the others. If Draco fails to bring him the girl, Lucius shall be punished and I shall be killed. If I fail to show up at the Shrieking Shack for the sacrifice, Draco shall be killed and Lucius shall be punished. If Lucius fails in London, me and Draco shall be killed !" She put a hand on her face. "I don't want my family to die !"

"What about your sister ?" Bellatrix would be a problem.

"Bella… you know her, Severus. She's so mad for the Dark Lord that if she has to choose between him and us, she'll choose him ! I can't rely on her. I don't doubt you, Severus. Unlike Bella, I trust you fully. You know it and I know it too."

Severus locked his gaze with hers. He did not try to use Legilimency on Narcissa because he knew she would detect his intrusion at once. Yet, he read in her eyes all the love of a mother, a mother desperate to save a son she had had so much difficulty in getting. A son that she had managed to conceive and bear thanks to his own knowledge in potions. Her gaze reflected all the gratitude and friendship she felt for him.

"Severus, you're Draco's godfather. I know you'll help him, while Lucius won't be present to protect his son."

"How does Lucius feel about all this ?"

"He's… he's truly worried. Even anxious. That's the first time I see him like this. I should not say this but…" She swallowed hard, aware of the consequences of her words. "He's aware that we are but mere hostages for the Dark Lord. I don't understand, Severus. Lucius had always been a faithful servant of his. He always welcomed the Dark Lord in our home when he needed it. What did Lucius do to him, that the Dark Lord turns so badly against him, his staunchest supporter ? Why ?"

"No idea, Narcissa." Yes, indeed, what had gotten into his sick mind to do that ? "I don't have access to the Dark Lord's mind. He doesn't tell me everything either."

"You're his right hand man, Severus !"

"That's not a guarantee, Narcissa. Lucius has just experienced it."

She nodded in agreement.

"For the time being, I recommend the following. Not a single word said here to your husband and son. I suppose that Lucius will inform Draco of his mission." She nodded. "Let him do. I think that once Draco knows about it, he'll come to me. If he doesn't, advise him to do so," he went on. "You won't be alone in it, Narcissa. I'll be there too, in the Shrieking Shack."

"You will ? What are you going to do there ?"

"You know the purpose of the… gathering to take place in the Shrieking Shack, don't you ?"

"Yes, the sacrifice on that poor girl the Dark Lord has made pregnant."

"Indeed. I'm to assist him for the sacrifice." A pause. "The Dark Lord relies on my knowledge of blood rituals and medical background to remove her baby from her womb before the ritual."

Narcissa gasped, a hand over her mouth. "You mean… you'll have to kill her ? She's one of your students, a Slytherin ! A student you seem to hold in high esteem !" Severus wondered if he had been _that_ transparent... He could read on her face that she was utterly disgusted. Her motherly side was utterly shocked. "A pregnant woman… That's revolting !"

He said nothing. His charcoal gaze remained unreadable and blank. Yet, inside, his soul was aching at the gruesome prospect.

"Severus, will you try to save her ?"

That was a tricky question – especially about a Muggle-born. Severus knew he had to maintain his cover as a spy at any cost. "I must obey the Dark Lord's orders, Narcissa. You know that."

"How many people did you see die, Severus ?" Compassion and understanding could be heard in her voice. Revolt too. "People that should not have died, how many of them ?"

"Only those whom I could not save." A quick emotion passed over his feature but he regained his composure quickly. "Have you grown to care for the Mudblood after all ?"

She looked embarrassed – she thought about her recent discovery of Lorena's lineage. _No, she's not a Mudblood. She's a half-blood, like Severus. She's a distant Malfoy relative, with Malfoy blood running in her veins ! _She could not tell Severus that she knew about the girl's parentage. _But is it only a question of blood status ?_ Narcissa sighed and remained silent, avoiding his sharp gaze.

"Narcissa, you'd better go back home before Lucius gets concerned over your absence. Remember, not a single word out."

"I will. You're our last hope, Severus." Saying so, she got her wand out and pointed its tip onto her heart. Before Severus could react to stop her, she had given a Wizard's Oath that she would not betray him and would do everything in her power to enable him to help save them all.

Her gesture had moved him. Usually, he was asked this kind of things… Dumbledore had imposed on him two Unbreakable Vows over time. "Narcissa, you didn't need to do that. Your word was enough for me."

"You're my only friend, Severus. I mean, the only friend I know I can really trust. I won't fail you." Saying so, she directed her steps towards the exit. He led her out in the Headmaster's office, in front of the grate. She threw some Floo powder in the flames that became green. She stepped in to go back home.

* * *

Dumbledore came back a minute or two later. He found his Potions Master in deep thinking.

"Severus," he said while putting a gentle hand on the younger wizard's shoulder. "She's come for help."

Severus nodded. "Indeed, Headmaster. About the mission the Dark Lord's ordered Draco to perform. She's perfectly aware that herself, her son and her husband are but hostages in his clutches."

"What did you tell her ?"

"That I could not change the Dark Lord's plans. That it might possible for me to help Draco though. That I'll be with her and her son in the Shrieking Shack for the sacrifice. They won't be alone in it. But I promised nothing. I don't know if I'll get out of there alive myself. The Unbreakable Vow… I may fail." His voice trailed off. He sighed deeply. "I told her to advise Draco to come and see me when he knows about his assignment. In the meantime, I'll help him improve his defense skills and Occlumency abilities. I told her that she has to remain silent about her visit and our little chat here."

Dumbledore nodded in approval. "Are you sure she'll keep shut ?"

"Before I could prevent her from doing so, Narcissa had taken her wand out and made a Wizard's Oath in this regard. She swore to do her best to help us all to get out of there alive. And remain silent about it." He shook his head. "Foolish woman !"

"No, Severus. Narcissa is not a fool. She's a mother. I've already told you to never underestimate a mother's love."

The Potions Master snorted. "Love… your eternal solution to all our problems… My mother never loved me. She could not love the product of…" He stopped dead in his tracks, pain etching on his harsh features. as if he had said too much. He had. Yet, maybe it was time to look at the past with a courageous stare. "I'm the product of my father's violence against my mother, Albus." He sighed deeply.

The Headmaster put a compassionate hand on his shoulder. "I know that already, Severus. I know what your father did to your mother. I know that this is the reason why you acted as you did with Lorena eventually. Keep in mind that not all children are brought into this world the way you were. I don't think that was the case for Draco. I know that's not the case for your son." A pause. "Severus, not all mothers are like yours. Not all fathers are like yours. And no, you're not your father. Like potions are more than the only sum of their ingredients, human beings are more than the mere sum of their genes. You know that." He sighed. "Lorena loves you. You love her. Your love for each other will be assisted by two mothers' love for their respective child. I know no better weapon against evil than these two sorts of love. Search no other, my boy."

Severus wanted to tell him that he would like to believe him. Yet, he felt something different in him. Some time ago, he would have scorned the older wizard's explanations. Now, he did not wish to do so anymore. Maybe the old man was right after all. Love was probably the best weapon against evil. He thought about the faint light still fighting in the deepest recesses of his soul. Lorena's love had preserved it from utter oblivion.

_We are more than the sum of our genes. Maybe love is the extra ingredient allowing our soul to work as__ it does. As human beings. Not as monsters. _The thought comforted him somehow.

Well, Severus knew he had not much choice either. He knew that at some point, he would have to rely on love to help them all. Honestly, had he not done so, all these years, when he had spied on the Dark Lord for Dumbledore, because of a Vow he had agreed to take on account of… his love for Lily ?

_Everything I did, I did it out of love. Love, even unrequited, had been my main motive behind my actions._ He nodded to the old Headmaster. That new realization filled his heart with a new hope. _Yes, everything I do, I do it for you, Lorena._

* * *

___**Narcissa learns the truth about Lorena's true lineage. She seems to realize a few things further to her discovery. Some bits of her dialog with Severus were inspired buy the Spinner's End scene in the **_******Half-Blood Prince ******___**movie, without Bellatrix of course. **_

___**I did not wish to impose a third Unbreakable Vow on Severus, that would have been too much as he's got already two on his soul. Besides, I thought it would be nice that someone else took an oath or a vow for him this time. It would show the real friendship between Narcissa and Severus, further to what she had told Lorena at New Year's Eve about her relationship with the Potions Master and how he had helped her. **____**Wizard's Oaths are not as binding as Unbreakable Vows but they are powerful and not only symbolical. In sort of, Narcissa repays her debt to Severus. An interesting turn of the tide.**_

_**A hint is given as to why Severus behaved like he did with Lorena – pure speculation on my part though Tobias was really abusive a father and husband. I let you guess.**_

_**This is a story of redemption – Severus' redemption. Through love. **_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! Remember the muses need to be fed properly… with your reviews… Pretty much like the Dark Lord's, their minds cannot be changed.**_


	116. You're in my arms again

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**116 – ****You're in my arms again…**

The Dark Lord had summoned Severus again, this time to finalize his orders about his takeover of the wizarding community of Britain. The Ministry of Magic and Hogwarts were the two targets. He also gave the Potions Master a few information to be disclosed to Albus Dumbledore as false leads. In his turn, Severus told him about various details that looked essential about the Order activities – which they were not, for the same purpose of leading the Dark Lord onto a false track.

Curiously enough, Voldemort had never alluded to the girl's lineage. Severus had thought that Lorena being a Parselmouth should have made the Dark Lord wonder about her origins – like Dumbledore had. But the Dark Lord was not Dumbledore. Once again, Voldemort had neglected a detail that may prove important later. Severus decided to put the matter to rest.

He came back unscathed from the meeting. After the debriefing that had ensued, Dumbledore had called for a new Order meeting to be held at 12 Grimmauld Place on the day after.

Therefore, all the Order members gathered in the meeting in Sirius' house. Severus arrived a bit in advance. On his way from the drawing room to the meeting room, his attention was caught by music. George Nottingham was busy with his instruments in the library, deserted for the rest of the evening because of the meeting. In these instances, he spent evenings alone – but not lonely. His music was always good company.

A flow of sweet music was coming out of the library. Keyboards, obviously, from the sound of it. Severus was not sure so he stopped by the library door. The sound was louder. He was in the dark, nobody inside the library could see him. He got closer and sneaked a peek inside.

The room was lit by the fire blazing in the grate. George Nottingham was there, sitting on a chair, his hands running on the keyboard. He stopped and resumed playing several times, tuning his instrument. The same instrument that Severus had carried back from Cassiope Gaunt's house.

The large keyboard was powered by magic. Sirius was sitting nearby, on the sofa, wand in hand, attentive to the proper functioning of the instrument, listening to the music.

"I'm ready, George. I think it should work now."

"You really have to teach me that, Sirius. I need to master how to make that keyboard work with magic."

"I will, George. You already managed to master the Attraction and the Levitation charms, you've made good progress in so little time." He gave another complicated movement to his wand. "Now give it a try. It should work."

A few notes poured from the keyboard. "Seems fine this time, I think," the musician said with satisfaction. George took a score from a black covered booklet. "Ah, here it is !" He put the score on the holder in front of him. "Some good Isaac Hayes song…" His fingers flew over the keyboard. The rhythm section could be heard thanks to the synthesized instruments contained in the keyboards.

_Alone again, I blast again  
__Please let love have its way  
__Don't let the waiting anticipating  
__Be all in vain  
__Be good to me 'cause I'm gonna be  
__As good as I can be to you_

He had a deep barytone voice that purred the lyrics. He could sing. There was a magic in his voice too. His voice had the power to move and stir – like Severus' voice had the power to instill fear or exert domination over others. The song was sweet yet very sensual. After all these years in jail, he still remembered the lyrics.

_Baby, oh baby, I need you, I swear I do  
__No other woman can love me  
__Oh like you do_

_You're the best thing that  
__Ever happened to this man  
__And I'm gonna keep on loving you  
__Just as long as I can  
__I love you, I love you_

The lyrics rang a bell in Severus' soul. He needed Lorena. No other woman had loved him like she did – not even Lily. She was the best thing that had happened to him in ages indeed. He had to do everything in his power to keep her. He could not afford to let her go.

_One night alone is too longer alone  
__When one has been loved by you  
__It's good to touch when I've missed so much  
__This thrill's been long overdue  
__The love you give is the reason I live  
__You're food to this hungry, so be mine_

The sensuality of the words hit home in Severus' heart and his flesh. They reflected exactly what he felt for Lorena. He longed for her touch on his body. Her kisses, her fingers on him. He was hungry for her. She was _his_. She was the reason for him to live – and not necessarily because of the Unbreakable Vow. The song dripped with possessiveness – which echoed his own perfectly.

_If satisfaction was money  
__I'd be the world's richest man  
_'_Cause you give me such good lovin'  
__Mmmm, just as much as I can stand_

_When we're together  
__If it's a hundred years from today  
__Through sunshine and stormy weather  
__You'll still hear me say  
__I love you, I love you_

Oh, yes, Severus agreed, he would be the richest wizard around ! Lorena had given him so much already ! She had given him her virginity, her whole body, a part of her powers, her heart, her love. She would give him a child. He wondered what he had given her. Pain, humiliation, anger, lust. A child. A part of his own powers too. _I can give more than that. I can give her my love._

_You're in my arms again  
__Where you should have been  
__You're in my arms again  
__Where you should have been_

A deep silence followed the song. Severus could see George's face now. The musician's features showed a deep emotion. His voice was dripping with… love. George man sniffled. He wiped his cheek with the back of his hand, silently. Severus realized that the musician had been crying.

"Are you okay, George ?" Sirius asked softly.

"Yeah… it's just… that song… it was _our_ song, with Fiona. I had asked her to marry me on that song." A pause. "She'll never be in my arms again. Ten years of happiness… so few years in a man's life yet so much in my heart... When I think some people don't realize what they have in their arms ! I want to tell them how lucky they are to have their spouse or their girlfriend. That they have to enjoy that person as much as possible, give him or her all they have because the person can disappear quickly. Happiness is furtive, Sirius." He sighed deeply. "I'd give my life to have her back – even for one hour !"

Severus was moved by what he had just heard. The man's distress over his lost wife matched what he had felt when he had lost Lily, first to another man, then to death. George Nottingham spoke the truth. Happiness was something elusive. Yet so powerful at the same time.

He had heard enough. He retreated into the meeting room, still empty for the time being. He sat and let his mind wander.

He thought about the little time he may have left with Lorena. By Beltaine she may die – and he would follow suit, according to the Unbreakable Vow's magic. He expected nothing from the outcome of the war. Well, that was before he met Lorena. Now, he had a reason to live and fight.

Nonetheless, Severus was troubled by George's words. He had to give Lorena every thing he had in himself while there was still time to do so. There was also the possibility he may die and she may survive. She would be left with nothing.

_I want you so much in my arms again_, he thought.

There was only one way to give her everything he had – body and soul. His wealth for her and his son. He had to care for them, beyond death. To provide for them before he found himself at the receiving end of a Killing Curse from the Dark Lord. He had a responsibility towards her and little Alan.

_You gave me so much of yourself, Lorena. I want to give you as much.__ I love you. _The song played in his mind. _I love you._

The path led ahead of him was obvious.

_Marry her. Now._

* * *

The meeting was fruitful. Severus was focused on what he had to tell the rest of the Order about the Dark Lord's plans. The Weasleys, Kingsley, Moody, Minerva, Tonks, Remus, a few others, all contributed in a no-nonsense fashion. Even Sirius remained civil towards his former classmate.

Severus had made a decision. He would marry Lorena. "Albus, I need to talk to you now. Privately," he asked the older wizard once the meeting was over. He was still sitting in his chair while the others had filed out.

The Headmaster was surprised. "Yes, sure, my boy." He sat down, closer to his spy. "What is it you wish to talk to me about, Severus ?"

The Potions Master closed the door and cast a silencing spell over the room. He took a deep breath. He did not like to have to talk about matters so private. "I decided I'd marry Lorena, Headmaster. As soon as possible."

Albus was surprised. He did not expect that one ! "Well, Severus…" He smiled. "No problem. Have you asked the girl ?"

"Not yet."

"May I ask what had prompted you to decide to do this _now_ ?" The Headmaster's steely blue gaze peered at Severus. "The Vow…"

"The Vow won't provide for her, Albus. I realized that… I may die during the final battle. She may survive. Our son may survive. They'll need to be taken care of."

That was only one motive. The main reason for his decision was the sense of urgency he felt. He wanted to show Lorena how much he cared for her and Alan. How much he loved her and his son. "My decision is already taken, Albus. Nothing will make me go backwards. I'll ask Lorena tomorrow – she has a Potions class then."

"Oh, I would not have prevented you from marrying her, Severus. I just wanted to know your motives. However, this shall remain a secret marriage. You have to convince Lorena of the necessity of secrecy. Don't go ask her in the middle of class !" The old wizard chuckled.

Severus smirked. That was an idea – which he promptly discarded, of course. "I will convince her and no, I won't ask her in the middle of my class, don't you worry. I suppose you can perform the ceremony ?"

"I can. Two witnesses are enough. I suggest you pick up two people from Hogwarts and if possible, members of the Order, so that very few people may know about it. We shall perform the ceremony in my office. Last thing, the marriage certificate will be real. Yet, I have to contact someone at the Ministry to intercept it, so that nobody there shall be aware of your union. I need to inform Kingsley. As an Auror, he has access to the entire Ministry. He will retrieve the certificate for me."

Severus nodded. "Thank you, Albus. When can this be done ?"

"Kingsley's still here, let me talk to him."

"What about Lorena's father ? She may wish him to be present."

"He shall not. He has to remain ignorant of all this. We'll tell him in due time. Remember his reaction : he was not very happy with the matter of her pregnancy. He'll add two and two together and figure out you're the man responsible for her condition."

"Ignorance is bliss, they say," Severus added. "I agree with you. For his own safety. The lesser he knows, the better."

"Indeed." A pause. "Oh, Severus !" Albus smiled. "Congratulations."

"Let's see Kingsley now. I want this sorted out as soon as possible."

Albus was surprised but he said nothing. Both men went out of the meeting room. Everybody was downstairs in the basement kitchen, sitting around the big table. Molly Weasley had prepared a hearty meal.

"Kingsley," Albus asked. "May I see you a minute ? Now ?"

"Yes, sure thing, Albus."

The three men went upstairs in one of the rooms there. They closed the door behind them. Albus cast a silencing spell after making sure there was nobody there.

"We need your help, Kingsley," the Headmaster said. "A marriage will take place in the next few days. A handfasting, as per our rituals, but secret anyway. The certificate shall not remain at the Ministry. Could you retrieve it and forward it to me ?"

Kingsley thought about the question. "Yes, it's possible. I have access to every place there. No problem. You just have to tell me the date and the moment of the day when the certificate shall be signed, and I shall be there to retrieve it. If I may suggest, evening is the ideal time, towards 8 or 9pm, for example."

"Wonderful !" Albus said joyfully. "We're set for the time. Between 8 and 9pm. As for the date, this has to be decided. I'll see you here to forward you this information. An owl may be intercepted."

"Wise precaution, Albus," the Auror said. "A last thing, who is to get married ? I suppose that if this marriage is to be kept secret, that's because of the identities of at least one of the people involved ?"

"Indeed, Kingsley. You see, Severus is to marry Lorena Nottingham. Before the final battle, so that her child may be legitimate if something happens to him then."

Kingsley watched the Potions Master carefully. "You are… her child's father ?"

Severus locked his gaze with the Auror's. "Yes. I want to provide for them in case I may die. It has not escaped your careful attention that I'll be in the Shrieking Shack with the Dark Lord then."

"No, it didn't, Severus. That honors you." Kingsley stuck out his hand. "Congratulations to you and Lorena."

The Potions Master was surprised by the Auror's gesture and words. He shook hands with him and a tiny smile curled his lips. "Thank you," he said softly.

"Kingsley, not a word to anybody about this, not even to other Order members," Albus warned. "This is a secret marriage."

"What about the witnesses ?" he asked.

"Hogwarts people and Order members. The ceremony shall be held there. Two witnesses, Severus, Lorena and me. With you now, that makes six people to know about it. No need to add more."

"I'll retain the right to Obliviate anybody at the Ministry that may catch a sight of the certificate, Albus," Kingsley said seriously.

"Of course, no problem on our side," the Headmaster said with a grin. "That's settled then. I'll keep you posted about the date."

"Thank you. Now what about joining the others downstairs for our meal, gentlemen ?" the Auror said.

"On our way," Albus replied with a smile, his blue eyes twinkling at the thought of Molly's cooking.

"Without me, Albus. I want to go back to Hogwarts now," Severus asked.

"As you wish." With these words, Albus dismissed his spy. Severus thanked Kingsley again for his cooperation for his little 'private business'.

* * *

On the day after, Severus had Potions class with the sixth-years students, from the four Houses. At the end of the class, he came to Lorena's desk and asked her to come and see him in his office, in a very formal manner. All the students filed out. Draco had heard his godfather's request and he was immediately suspicious of something. He asked Lorena if he could wait for her outside. She thanked him that no, he did not need to do so. The young man had the feeling that it was in relation with what he had witnessed on Valentine's evening. Yet, this time, he could not spy decently on his godfather.

Lorena went to Severus' office. He had addressed her so formally that she thought it was about a school matter. She did not expect at all what he was about to tell her. Once she was in his office, he grabbed her arm to lead her inside his quarters. Lorena was intrigued.

"Here, we won't be disturbed for what I have to tell you." He still had his hand on her arm but in a gentle grasp. He was close to her, she could feel his presence. "Lorena…" He swallowed hard. "The final battle is coming closer and closer. I…" He was about to tell her that he would die and therefore wished to provide for her and their son. But it did not sound right. "I want to marry you, Lorena."

Her empty pale gray eyes reflected utter puzzlement. "What ?"

"I said, I want to marry you, Lorena." He took her hand in his. "Would you be… my wife ?" he whispered.

"You have promised anyway, with the Vow. I don't understand, why _now_ ?"

He took a silent breath. He was not good at this. "I… care for you, Lorena, and for our son." She was still silent, motionless. He would have to make more efforts. He caressed her hand in his. "Lorena… I never told you but… I love you, Lorena. I love you and our son. I want you to be my wife."

She remained silent, as if the words needed to sink in her mind. "Never even thought… that one day… I would hear you say that…" she said eventually in a barely audible whisper.

The pressure of his hand on hers was replaced by a warm caress on her cheek. "Never even thought it could happen to me, Lorena. Maybe I've been blind." A pause. "I've got so much to give you. There's only one thing I could not say." Suddenly, he dropped to her knees, burying his face against her belly prominent despite the concealment charm, his hands grabbing her hips. "I love you, Lorena. I love you and our son." _Don't reject me !_

She perceived his last thought. She was so much surprised that she did not know how to react. She let her hands caress his hair gently. Her fingers found his forehead, his cheek in a sweet caress. "Severus…" She motioned him to stand up. He did, his hands sliding on her waist.

"Do you accept ? To be my wife ?"

"I love you, Severus, but… I don't want you to be in danger because of this." Concern was written all over her face. "You're the Dark Lord's spy."

"This will be a secret marriage. Albus Dumbledore, you, me, two witnesses. Witnesses we'll pick up here at Hogwarts. The ceremony will be held here." A pause. "As for the Dark Lord, I trust my Occlumency skills, as usual."

He could see she was stunned by his request. "Lorena, if we make it alive, if the Dark Lord's brought down, I swear to you that we'll have the biggest party ever thrown for a real wedding – if you wish so."

"Why can't we wait then ? I have the feeling that you don't tell me everything, Severus." _Make it alive ?_

That was it then, what was nagging her. He sighed. "I'll be honest with you, Lorena. I… I may die during the final battle. I care so much for you and Alan that I do want to provide for you both. Only marrying you will allow this. Make no mistake, Lorena. My intentions are genuine. I love you both, you and Alan. I don't want you two to end up destitute if I die. I do care for you. Deeply. Do you believe me ?"

Lorena raised a hand towards his face, then the other, shyly first, for a sweet caress. "I prefer when you're honest in your motives with me, Severus. Promise me to be always honest and sincere with me like this."

"Does that mean that you accept my proposal ?"

She smiled at him sweetly, her fingertips grazing his features. "Yes, I do, Severus. I love you too." She tiptoed so that her lips could meet his for a tender kiss. Their mouths joined together. The kiss became quickly passionate.

They parted after a long, long kiss. "You're in my arms again…" he whispered.

The lyrics of the song he had heard at 12 Grimmauld Place came back to his memory in a sudden flash. He could hear it play in his mind again. He thought about what her father had explained earlier to Sirius, about his own short yet happy marriage – which he had overheard. George had asked Fiona to marry him while that song played. Severus smiled at the notion that he had asked Lorena to marry him because of what George had said about that very song, because of his emotions for his late wife elicited by that same song. Emotions that matched his very own. Love and loss.

"You're in my arms again… where you should have always been," he murmured while pressing her against his chest.

* * *

_**Ah ! At last ! Severus made it ! Phew… it had been particularly difficult to convince him, he did not want, well, you know his tune, so to speak. I hope I've kept him in character though. Yes, I enjoy his sweet side. Incredible the power of one song though…**_

_**Speaking about songs, the one quoted here – and which gave its title to the chapter – is a song excerpted from the album and movie soundtrack **_**"Truck Turner"**_**, composed and sung by the wonderful Isaac Hayes (that also played in the movie in the role title). I have the vinyl LP, imagine that ! My father had bought it back then in the 1970s. **_

_**I consider this song to be one of the most sensual and loving songs ever created. For sure, one of my favs. I invite you to discover the song and the singer, if you don't know them - it can be heard on YouTube here :**_

_**www**__** (dot) youtube (dot) com (slash) watch?gl=US&v=LQcrrnC45_c**_

_**I was very lucky to have attended a concert in **__**July 2007, almost one year before he died. All these years after, he still had the same voice, purring and hot than on my LP… I'm a fan of his soul music, I also have his **_**"Hot Buttered Soul"**_** album (in vinyl LP too !). He was behind many great Stax records and hits - **_***sigh***_** - R.I.P. Isaac.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! **_

_**I need the muses, the muses need to be fed to remain with me, therefore if you want more… you want what to do !**_


	117. Where you should have been

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**117 – ****… Where you should have been**

Severus and Lorena had chosen to get married on March 21st – the first day of Spring, the Spring Equinox, symbol of rebirth after the long Winter sleep. Born again to hope and light. Redeemed. The Potions Master was aware that the path was still very long. The Dark Lord would have to be defeated. Only after that, it would be possible to talk about peace and future. Now there were more pressing matters.

Severus knew he could not tell his lawyer about his secret marriage. He checked his will and drafted it again. Magical wills did not need a third party to be present to be made legal and authentic. They only required the author's magical signature – a sure sign that the will was really his. Severus wrote again his will, this time integrating Lorena and their son in the provisions he had set up for the disposal of his wealth.

Not that Severus had a lot. Yet, he was not poor either. Just well-off. Not as wealthy as the Malfoys or other pureblood families. But considering where he was coming from, in terms of social background, he had done well. His house in Spinner's End, the content thereof – the most precious things being his books, some of them very rare and precious, not to say dangerous.

He had inherited the Prince estate from his mother, though he had never been there. He had no idea in what condition it was, he always said he would deal with that after the war. The only manifestation of this inheritance was Ziggy, that had joined the Hogwarts elves to serve him.

His bank account at Gringotts grew bigger and bigger each passing year, as he did not need to spend a lot of money from his wages as a teacher, or from what he received from either the Ministry or St. Mungo for brewing the potions they needed.

His only expenditures were for Spinner's End – a little – and certain potions ingredients as well as rare books, and his school robes for the year. Most of his needs were catered in Hogwarts already.

Moreover, he held patents on a certain number of potions he had created whose royalties brought him some income each year. He was way much wealthier than his usual behavior and appearance could let guess. But Severus Snape was not the kind of man to show off like Lucius Malfoy or others he knew in the British wizarding community.

While Severus had planned on giving his books and private lab content to Hogwarts, while he had planned to give his Spinner's End home to Albus Dumbledore to be sold, the proceeds thereof to be added to his Gringotts vault and his wealth donated to institutions such as St. Mungo, while he had told Ziggy to recognize Albus Dumbledore as his new master if he had to die, this time he resolved to give everything to Lorena and his son, making them his sole heirs.

He wanted them to have a roof on their heads, some money to live on and enough to provide for the education of Lorena and his son Alan. He did not wish them to end up resourceless, like his mother had been. That way, Lorena would not be compelled to marry someone because she would find herself in dire straits. She would need some help too as a blind person, and Ziggy would be there to provide it. He would talk to the elf.

Last but not least, both mother and son would have his name and would not be objects of contempt in the wizarding community. Thus the Vow would be fulfilled.

Severus was aware that being the wife of a Death-Eater would not be easy for Lorena but being an unwed mother would be far worse. Besides, he knew that Dumbledore or Minerva would vindicate him and explain his part in the war.

_If she has to marry again, after I die, better be it for right reasons. She may love again after my demise._ He trusted her intelligence, that she would not choose any wizard in haste. Maybe she would not marry again after all. He knew she would be a good mother and a wise manager of his wealth if need be. _If my wealth has to go to someone, better be it to Lorena and Alan. _

Severus was not sure whether he would be a good husband and a good father, but he would try, for at least the little time they had left up to Beltaine. He may not survive the final battle so the issue would be sorted out. Yet, if he survived… _I'll do my best to be so. I don't want to be like my father. I won't. _Alan was a lust child, no, a love child. He may have not been desired but he was welcomed. Severus had not been welcomed, even less desired – he was the product of his father's violence against his mother. He realized that this was a wound that ran deep in his soul but Lorena's love would help him heal. It had a little already. She loved him. She wanted him as a consort. Alan was the outcome of a powerful ritual that had bonded his parents indefectibly.

Severus' attention came back to what he was doing. To be on the safe side, he would give the will to the Headmaster, so that the old wizard could store it in his office, along with other important papers. He would explain to him that he would be in charge of making sure it would be respected.

As he was signing the will, he felt magic leaving him and the document glowed more than it should have under normal circumstances. _The Vow's magic at work ?_ he wondered. He took it as a good omen. He may survive after all. He would do everything in his power to survive. Slytherin self-preservation would help him – like it had helped him all these past years spent as a spy.

Severus rolled the parchment and sealed it magically. The seal was his, it would ascertain he was the author. With the thought that Lorena and Alan would be cared for, he felt better. Now he would focus on his secret marriage and the task ahead – the final battle and how to preserve his family. _My family ! _His most valuable possession ever.

* * *

March 21st fell on a Saturday. It had been decided that Severus and Lorena would marry on that day, between 8pm and 9pm. The information had been forwarded to Kingsley Shacklebolt who would be at the Ministry of Magic then, in the Marriage Registry Department, to retrieve the document.

Severus had explained the need for secrecy about their union to Lorena and she had agreed. She would do nothing to put him in danger. Things were complicated enough like that. She was sad that her own father could not be present but she agreed nonetheless. He had also asked her to pick a witness among members of the Order that were in Hogwarts. He gave him a few names.

She chose Hagrid while Severus chose Poppy Pomfrey. Both were informed of their duties to the couple. Both the nurse and the Ground Keeper had accepted with joy. Hagrid was fond of Lorena, as he had felt right from the first class with her in her first year, that she had a special brand of magic. Her elemental magic was something he felt good with even if he did not fully grasp it. As for Poppy, she had taken care of Severus so many times, when he was a student and later as a teacher and a spy for the Order, that she rejoiced for him that he had a little happiness in a life that had been particularly unkind to him.

Albus Dumbledore had also agreed that the newly-weds would spend the night and the following day in Spinner's End. It was short a honeymoon but they were at war. Severus promised Lorena that they would have a lovely honeymoon once the war was over – if they survived it. Lorena had told _her_ Potions Master that she would be very happy to spend every minute possible with him.

They had decided, their marriage being secret, that they would not change their way of life. She would stay in her dorm, he would remain in his quarters. Poppy reminded them all that a solution had to be found for Lorena as she could not have the Notice-Me-Not charm cast on her garments permanently, so close to her term. Dumbledore suggested that the girl spend her last month in 12 Grimmauld Place, where she would be free to sport her belly as it really was – really expanded. The Easter holidays would start early April this year. She would leave then, not to come back. Severus and Lorena agreed. The Potions Master would still be able to come over there and see his wife any time.

* * *

March 21st arrived quickly. Lorena barely managed to contain her excitement during the whole day. She decided to skip dinner in the Great Hall that evening to get ready on her own in her dorm, while all her dormmates would be out there having their meal. She had asked a house elf to bring her something light to eat. She was brought some soup, which she ate quickly yet with gusto. After that, she got herself ready.

She had decided to wear her lovely green outfit – the only beautiful dress she had. She knew Severus loved her in it. She also put on her most lovely lingerie she had, along with her thick, black stockings. With the help of the enchanted mirror in the bathroom, and the spells Narcissa Malfoy had taught her, she managed to achieve a decent result with her hair. Once she felt she was ready, she threw her black cloak over her shoulder and left the Slytherin dorms and common room to go and see Severus in his office.

He welcomed her there, dressed in his usual Potions Master attire, black school robes over his black pants, black frock coat and white shirt. He quickly let her in, after checking there was nobody around to spy on them. He took her hands in his, stunned by her beauty.

"You're… divinely beautiful, Lorena," he managed to utter once he remembered how to speak. She was indeed. She smiled at him. He took her lips for a sensual kiss, his tongue asking for access to her mouth.

Lorena broke the kiss. "You're impatient, Professor ! You're not supposed to kiss the bride before the wedding."

He chuckled. "Like I was not supposed to shag you before. Like I was not supposed to make you pregnant before either."

Lorena giggled. "Severus !" Her empty pale gray eyes were full of love, sparkling with joy. Never a woman had watched him with such an expression on her face, in her eyes – not even Lily. The only one to do so was a young blind witch, which he was holding in his arms, which he was about to marry in a few minutes. He caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers.

"Yet, I think something is missing on you." He took a jewel out of his pocket, which he put around her neck. Lorena's fingertips felt it. It was warm after spending time in his pocket.

"Oh ! Severus…" she exclaimed when she recognized the pendant. "The Snape medallion…"

"Yes, your neck is its rightful place. The only place where it belongs."

She felt his fingers grazing over her neck skin. Severus put a delicate kiss there. She shivered at the caress. "You're mine, Lorena. Remember, the bearer of the Snape medallion is a Snape property," he said with a raspy, lustful voice.

"Not yet," she joked. His possessiveness had not always been something easy to deal with, but now she had accepted it, she really enjoyed it.

"You are. I can see love-bites on your neck. _My_ love-bites. They're so beautiful on you… Your whole person is beautiful." He kissed her there. "I'm a very lucky man to have someone like you," he said simply.

"Thank you, Severus. I'm very lucky to have you too. I love you."

A quick emotion swept over his features. "I love you too. Shall we go ?"

She nodded. He removed her cloak. "You won't need it now." He led her to the hearth, threw a handful of Floo powder and pushed her gently in the green flames. "Headmaster's office !" A few seconds later, he followed her there.

* * *

Albus Dumbledore welcomed the couple. Poppy and Hagrid were there already. Hagrid had reached to Lorena when she stepped out of the hearth. He was dusting her dress when Severus stepped in. The Headmaster led Lorena to the other room where there were no portraits. Severus, Poppy and Hagrid followed them there.

The door closed behind them. Albus took his wand out and cast a magical circle. He instructed the four others to enter the circle, then Severus and Lorena to face each other and join their right hands together. The Unbreakable Vow came back to their memories. Poppy, then Hagrid, came in front of them to fast their hands together with two delicately crafted pieces of cloth, embroidered with intricate symbolic designs. _Handfasting bands_, Severus mused. He conveyed this thought to Lorena who felt the fabric with her fingers.

The moment was solemn. The five of them were silent. Then Albus Dumbledore spoke up. "We are here tonight to bond this man and this woman in matrimony." He put the tip of his wand on the clothes that knotted their hands together.

"Severus Tobias Snape, you came to me on your own free will to seek the partnership of Lorena Lady Nottingham in perfect love and trust. Do you commit yourself to be with her in joy and adversity, in wholeness and brokenness, in peace and turmoil, living with her faithfully all your days ?"

Severus' dark gaze peered at her. "I do." His voice has something sensual and powerful, which made Lorena melt to a puddle.

"Lorena Lady Nottingham, you came to me on your own free will to seek the partnership of Severus Tobias Snape in perfect love and trust. Do you commit yourself to be with him in joy and adversity, in wholeness and brokenness, in peace and turmoil, living with him faithfully all your days ?"

She could not see him. Yet, her fingers squeezed his under the handfasted cloth. "I do." Severus watched her lips as she was uttering these two words, craving for a kiss.

"Be understanding and patient, each with the other. Be free in the giving of affection and warmth. Be sensuous with one another. Have no fear and let not the ways of the unenlightened give you unease, for the Gods are with you now and always. May the Gods give you the strength to keep these vows. So be it." A jet of white light came out of the tip of his wand and rounded their wrists.

"So be it," Lorena and Severus repeated. Another jet of white light rounded their wrists.

"So be it," Poppy and Hagrid repeated after. A third jet of white light rounded their wrists.

The three jets linked themselves together in a chain around their fasted hands. It was rather similar to what had happened during the Unbreakable Vow.

"You have to kiss the bride to seal the bond, Severus," Dumbledore said. "While the links are still glowing."

The Potions Master's left hand cupped Lorena's cheek. His lips brushed hers in a shy yet tender caress. At this moment, the links around their right wrists glowed even more, they felt their magic leaving them and surrounding them. Severus deepened the kiss, despite they were not alone. The magic intensified around them.

Their lips parted. Emotion was clearly written all over their faces. They felt warmth on their Love-Snakes rings too, the tickling stronger than ever. Severus had decided he would wear his on his finger for tonight, not on his usual chain under his garments.

"The circle is open but unbroken. May the peace of the Gods go in our hearts. Blessed be." On these words, Albus vanished the circle he had cast.

"Blessed be," Severus and Lorena said. Poppy and Hagrid repeated the two words together after.

The links around their wrists faded away. Poppy then Hagrid untied the cloth bands that they had fastened around the spouses' hands. The newlyweds had to keep them. Poppy gave hers to Severus, as she was his witness before hugging him. He was surprised by her gesture but welcomed her nonetheless. "I'm so happy for you both !" Hagrid did the same for Lorena, as her witness. He put his large hand on her back and pressed her gently against his frame. "All the best for you, Lorena and Severus !"

Albus congratulated them warmly. His steely blue eyes misted a bit. "Severus, my boy, I'm so happy to have seen that day. You know you're like a son to me." Then he took Lorena's hand into his. "I know he's in good hands with you, Lorena."

"Don't worry, Headmaster, I'll take real good care of him," she said with a grin.

Severus took his wife's hand in his. He still felt warmth on his ring finger. He checked the Love-Snakes ring he wore, then Lorena's. The Love-Snakes were still in their silvery form, yet their tiny emerald eyes glittered more than ever, the silver of their bodies shining and glowing, radiating a warm tickling. He felt suddenly high.

As if on cue, Lorena smiled at him, perceiving he was peaceful. A feeling he had not experienced for a long time. For a brief moment, she felt his mind trying to access hers through Legilimency. She let him enter, glad to share with him this feeling of peace.

Albus was aware he would interrupt them. "Excuse me, but you have to sign the marriage certificate. Kingsley's waiting for it," he added softly.

Severus and Lorena snapped from their mind melding. "Yes, of course, Albus. We follow you." The Potions Master took Lorena by her elbow to guide her outside the room, back to the Headmaster's office. There, they both signed the certificate. Then Poppy, Hagrid and Albus signed the paperwork. The certificate, once totally signed by all parties concerned, glowed before disappearing magically.

"Congratulation, Mrs Snape. Now we have to wait for Kingsley to return with the certificate," Albus said softly. He invited his four guests to sit down. Hagrid explained that he needed to go back to his hut. He left after bidding everyone present good night and congratulating Severus and Lorena again.

Poppy stayed with Lorena and Severus, dragging them apart to give them her last advice for the wedding night. Severus felt he was furiously blushing while Lorena kept her head lowered. Albus was sitting at his desk, doing his best not to hear while striving to listen, a smile on his lips. The medi-witch spoke very low, aware that the newly-weds may not wish the Headmaster to overhear what was said. She just renewed her advice about rough sex. Then she left, hugging Severus and Lorena again.

They stayed the three of them. Albus asked where his Potions Master would spend the night with his wife. "Spinner's End," Severus replied simply. Kingsley Shacklebolt arrived a few seconds later by Floo. He handed over the certificate to the Headmaster and congratulated the couple, hugging Lorena and shaking hands warmly with Severus, before leaving quickly.

"Albus, I want to give you this too," Severus said while holding out a piece of parchment carefully rolled. The Headmaster took it and knew what it was at once. A will. He understood the younger wizard's intentions at once.

"Sure thing, Severus. I'll put it with the certificate here, in my drawer with my other precious papers. Here's your copy by the way," he said while giving Severus the copy of the marriage certificate, which the younger wizard pocketed quickly.

"We should go now," Severus said to his young wife.

Albus smiled at them fondly. "Congratulations to the both of you again. You cannot imagine how happy I am to have done this for you." He hugged them again before they left his office by Floo. He sighed once they were gone. Fawkes, his phoenix, which had remained silent throughout the ceremony, perched himself on his master's shoulder and sang softly.

"Oh, yes, Fawkes, a bit of happiness is always good to welcome these days."

* * *

_**March 21**__**st**__** is the first day of Spring. In some parts of the Eastern world, it is the first day of the year (Naw-Ruz, the new day). I chose that day as a symbol of renewal and new life for both Severus and Lorena.**_

_**Severus, so caring and thoughtful… thinking of a future he may not be a part of.**_

_**I searched for Handfasting ceremonies and rituals. **____**I find this was appropriate for the Wizarding world, though Handfastings are used by Wiccans and other similar religious groups.**____**The vows exchanged in that chapter have been taken from that site :**_

_**www**__** (dot) religioustolerance (dot) org (slash) mar_hand (dot) htm**_

_**The name of this chapter is excerpted from Isaac Hayes' song quoted in the previous chapter.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! **_


	118. Ashes in the wind

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**118 – ****Ashes in the wind**

Severus and Lorena had gone back by Floo to his quarters. They put on their traveling cloaks. They stepped inside the hearth to go to Spinner's End.

It may not be the happiest place in Severus' memories but at least, they were alone and far away from any outside interference. It had been the place where their love had begun too. It was the only place that belonged to him, where he felt free to be himself.

As soon as they had stepped in, Severus locked his Floo, so that nobody would disturb them. He removed his cloak and then Lorena's. He led her to the sofa where they both sat.

Severus was devouring her with his dark gaze. He had her hand in his in a tender clasp. Through this contact, Lorena felt his emotions. She welcomed them and smiled at him. He stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers.

After a moment, Severus moved to sit in his armchair. He invited Lorena to sit on his lap. "What about reading ?" he suggested. She agreed with a smile. "I still have a bit of poetry here, you remember that book you were so fond of last Summer ?"

"You still have it ?"

"It is linked to you in my memories, love," he replied softly. He made himself comfortable for her. He opened the book and began to read. Lorena let her head rest on his shoulder, listening to his deep, rich, silky voice reading. The moment was so sweet. It was as if they were back to last Summer indeed. She even thought that maybe the Severus of that time was back. She hoped he was back definitively.

Her hand raised to his cheek, tracing his jaw line with the back of her fingers. She really enjoyed his presence. She felt safe, protected and good in his arms, on his lap, like this. One of his hands was on her belly, caressing her there. She sighed out of contentment.

"Did you like it ?" he asked once he had finished reading a poem.

"I love your voice. I'm sure you could sing. You should."

He chuckled. "We'll tell that to your father."

"Keep on reading. Your voice… has a sensual tone. I've always thought that it had, let's say… an erotic quality."

He smiled at her – aware it would be lost on her. He did not wish her to know how her remark touched him. She was the first person to tell him such a thing, though he knew the power of his voice over people. He knew how to play with it. Especially to instill fear and awe.

As he was reading, Lorena began to kiss his jaw line, his neck, her tongue played with his earlobe. Severus stopped. He was troubled. It was so good. He began to feel aroused. "Lorena… don't do that… to me…"

But the young witch went on. "I won't be able… to remain… in control of myself… if you continue…"

She did continue, discarding his warning. He let down the book and soon his mouth took hers. His tongue asked again for access to her mouth – which Lorena granted him happily. The kiss deepened and grew more and more passionate. They kissed like that for long minutes, enjoying the moment.

The precious moment.

They did not read any further that evening...

The clock struck 10pm. "Shall we go to bed, Lorena ? I don't want you to get too much exhausted."

She nodded and blushed a bit. Severus found her more than pretty. She was divinely beautiful. _And she's mine._ He helped her get up from his lap. He guided her upstairs to the bedrooms.

Once there, Severus took her hands in his. "Lorena… I… I don't want to put pressure on you. I…" He swallowed hard. Through their physical contact, she could feel how insecure he could be. She also realized that she was probably the only person in the whole world to know how truly vulnerable he was deep down. She was the only person he would probably show this side of him. "You may sleep in your bedroom, and me… in mine. It is still ready for you."

Lorena was surprised. She had not expected to spend her wedding night in a separate bedroom from her husband. _He really wants to make up for everything bad that had happened between us in the past._ His patience was something new. She knew he was caring but his carefulness was also an enjoyable surprise.

He pushed the door of her bedroom and led her inside. He was about to bid her goodbye when she clasped her hand on his arm. "Severus… I…" How could she tell him that she did not wish to spend that particular night – her wedding night – alone in a bed ? _Damn, he's my husband now ! He's mine too !_

She took a deep breath. "Severus, I don't want to sleep in another bed than yours tonight." She had said it, in a quick whisper.

He remained silent – emotion making his heart beat faster. "I want you to be free to choose."

As he remained silent, she went on. "I've already chosen, Severus, when I agreed to marry you. I want to be with you, my husband." Her hand went up his arm to his shoulder as she came closer to him. "Happiness is elusive, Severus. Let's enjoy that precious moment together. Please."

Her empty pale gray eyes were set on him. She could not see him yet he had the feeling she could see inside of his soul. Her hand went up to his neck, then his cheek. Her other hand met his face too, in a delicious caress that read his features. She seemed to discover him all over again, her fingers feeling his face gingerly. The sweet caress of a blind woman.

Severus closed his eyes. It felt so good, so good. Mist began to well up in his eyes, he was deeply moved by her words, her gesture, her affection. Soon, his own hands explored her features, as if he were blind too. The sensation was powerful. He cupped her face with his both hands before kissing her again sensually. He remembered what he had heard George Nottingham say one evening at 12 Grimmauld Place. Lorena was right. She had spoken the same words than her father. She must have heard them from him before.

With a movement of his hand, the door of the bedroom closed gently. It was not his bedroom but he did not care. They were in his house – their house now. Alone and together.

"You're right, Lorena. Let's enjoy that moment. Yet…" He flinched for a second or two. "Do you really want this ? With me ?"

She smiled at him, moved by his tender tone. His attention. She felt he did not wish to behave like he had before. Like his father had with his mother. "We are husband and wife, Severus, and I love you."

That was said. She knew that these words only would make him feel secure. "I love you too, Lorena." He smiled. He began to undress her, removing the beautiful dress she wore. Once he was done with it, he guided her hands onto his own garments. She unbuttoned his frock coat – giving him a kiss each time she opened one button, which amused him to no end.

They ended up naked in each other's arms, in bed. Severus cast a warming spell under the comforter. They resumed kissing and caressing each other amorously. Severus had in mind Poppy's advice about gentle sex. He was careful with his wife's belly. He took her tenderly, while kissing her hard. His maleness could not assert his possession of hers like he used to, in terms of passion, because of her advanced pregnancy. Yet, the fierceness of his kisses compensated, his tongue claiming her with his usual possessiveness.

It was so good to make love like that. Both spouses enjoyed it immensely. They had not made love since early January, it was as if they were discovering their bodies again in a whole new light.

They coiled in each other's arms after lovemaking. Lorena felt secure in her husband's embrace, she fell asleep quickly. Severus wanted to enjoy that moment a bit longer. His hand roamed over his wife's belly, feeling the child in it. He inhaled her scent from her hair, satisfied that she was his at last. His wife ! _Lorena Snape, my property, my wealth, my possession ! Mine ! Solely mine ! How much I love you… I'll let nobody take you away from me, not even the Dark Lord ! _Severus was a dominating, possessive man, yet he had become possessed and dominated by his own passion for Lorena.

His arms tightened his embrace around her. He drifted to sleep slowly, comforted by her real presence so close against him. _You're in my arms again… where you should have been… You're in my arms again… where you should have _always_ been…_

* * *

The morning after found them in each other's arms, Lorena coiled snugly against him, one arm sprawled around his waist. His morning hard-on woke him up. Severus began to wake her up with kisses and caresses. She stirred in her sleep before opening her empty pale gray eyes.

"Morning, love," his deep, silky voice said softly.

"Morning, Severus," she replied, a light grin on her lips.

He did not let her time to think ahead and took her mouth with his. She got a quick notion of what he wanted to do when she felt his hard-on poking against her body. Her hand traveled down to his hardness which she began to stroke gently. In reply, his own fingers found her folds in a daring caress.

After a few minutes of mutual ministrations, they changed positions. The temperature was warm in the bedroom. Severus brought her over his body. "Take me, Lorena… Make love to me… please !"

She leaned towards him, one hand on his chest, her mouth searching his. He guided her to him, a hand gripping her mane of curly black hair gently towards him. Their mouths found each other in a feverish kiss. She moaned in their kiss when her other hand touched his maleness. She just slid herself along his hard erect shaft. This time, he moaned when he felt her tight, wet, warm walls taking him whole.

This time, Lorena controlled the intercourse. She did so very tenderly, very sensually. Severus let her do, giving up control for once in his life. It felt so good to surrender like this. Even during sex, he always wanted to be the one in control. He had to, first when he had been a younger man, a young Death-Eater recruit. He had to show no emotions at what he did, when he had "fun" during raids and revels with women he had abused, and people he had tortured and killed. Later, in front of the Dark Lord – and sometimes Dumbledore too – his control over his emotions had saved his hide – and preserved his dignity – a certain number of times. Control had become more than a second nature for him, a matter of life and death. Then, when he was with prostitutes, he had to remain in control as the environment in which the girls operated was not always safe. Any of these girls could have also proved to be a killer too.

Control suited his dominating nature as a man too. He had slipped easily into that mold as deep down, he knew he was a dominant male, a Dominant that enjoyed exerting that side of himself over other people, be they students, Hogwarts colleagues, fellow Death-Eaters, victims or prostitutes. And Lorena, of course.

Though he had already used this trait a few times with Lorena in the past to his own advantage, he could let down his guard now. He knew that she would not harm him. She had already wounded him in the past too – especially when she had had her affair with Alastor Moody or when she had left him. But this was the past, a past they had assimilated as part of their own history together, a past that had helped them both grow into the relationship they shared now.

The last and only time Severus had been able to let go, had been in the cave, during a Lughnasadh night that he would never forget.

With Lorena, Severus knew he could let it go. Let go of his own past and its ghosts, his miserable life, his unloved childhood, his disastrous choices. He could show his wounds, his scars – physical and mental – his vulnerability. He could show he was just a man, not that raping, torturing and killing machine the Dark Lord had turned him into, not the servant that had to obey Dumbledore blindly, not that obedient slave to two powerful masters.

With Lorena as his wife, Severus was a free man again – at least between the four walls of their home. With Lorena, even the four walls of his gloomy house in Spinner's End were the epitome of liberty.

With Lorena at his side, Severus was free to love. Love had freed him. Love had redeemed him, mending his soul, shredded to ribbons by past sins, making him a whole man again.

* * *

They stayed in each other's arms after making love. Outside, dawn had turned into daylight. Severus rose from bed. They decided they would take a shower first before having breakfast. Lorena retrieved her white long undershirt and managed to find her way to the bathroom. She was very familiar with his home now. A few minutes later, Severus entered the bathroom, a dressing gown on his body, which he had taken from his own bedroom.

He remembered when they had come back from Malfoy Manor, on New Year's Day, they had made love in his bedroom. She had wanted to take a shower too before coming back to Hogwarts. She had been firm in her resolve to leave his home place to go back to the castle. At that moment, he had not understood her motives. Now he did – she had already planned to leave him then.

Back then, he had wanted to join her in the bathroom but had resolved against it. More or less consciously, he had perceived that she did not want him any more, despite the love they had just made. He admired her steadfastness. She was strong, very strong.

Severus had always held in high esteem people able to keep their words or to remain firm in their decisions. Lorena was one of these people. Her decision had infuriated him to no end, had hurt him to the point he had turned self-destructive again, he had felt crucified on the cross of his feelings. Yet, he could not help admiring her mental strength. He felt proud of her like he had seldom felt for anybody else before. He loved her more than ever for that.

He opened the curtain and his dark gaze devoured her plump shape. She let out a gasp, more because her body must have felt the sting of an air draft than because of his sudden intrusion. He entered the shower stall with her. He took the soap from her hand. "Let me do this for you, Lorena," he said with his silky voice that he knew would melt her down.

She surrendered and let him do. His hands on her body were so possessive, so sweet, so strong. She let him take control of her body and soul again – she enjoyed that. She enjoyed his dominant nature. Soon, he had pushed her against the tiled wall, kissing her like mad, sheathing himself in her again, possessing her with his unique blend of passion, sensuality and love.

They managed to wash each other after the torrid interlude that had reminded them of the love they had made on the Lughnasadh morning, at the back of the cave, nearby the spring. After a long moment spent kissing and caressing while drying themselves each other, they went downstairs for breakfast.

There, Severus prepared something quick for them, while Lorena brewed some tea. They were both working silently in the kitchen, like they did in the potions lab. They enjoyed the moment. Soon, they shared breakfast together. He described what she had in her plate and where, so that she could eat.

Once they were done, they took care of the remains of the breakfast. Thanks to magic, this was dealt with in a minute or two. Lorena went to the sink to wash her hands. Suddenly, she felt the warm presence of her husband behind her, his powerful hands circling her waist and belly. His breath on her neck was like a Summer breeze. He kissed her where he had bitten her, his tongue caressing the small scar there. She relaxed in his embrace. "Severus…"

She turned into his arms to face him. Soon, his lips were on hers in a fierce kiss. She knotted her arms around his neck. They kissed as such for long minutes. She felt inebriated – his kisses were as intoxicating as alcohol.

She felt him lift her up onto the counter beside the sink. Severus' mouth left hers to kiss her neck, her collarbone. He placed himself between her thighs. Then he felt hard again and he began to open her undershirt to access her chest. He kissed her there again while Lorena was caressing his hair gently, pressing him against her heart. Severus tucked two hands under her shirt to roll it up to her waist. His hands roamed over her belly in a sweet caress while he possessed her mouth in a drowning kiss.

When he was done kissing her, Severus stroked her face gently. "I love you," he just said in a whisper.

She smiled back at him. "I love you too." Her hands in his hair went to his cheeks to caress them.

"Let me pleasure you, Lorena." He did not wait for her to say anything. He was already down to her nether parts. Lorena knew what he was about to do and she let out a sigh of satisfaction when she felt his warm tongue on her folds and clit. She moaned after a few seconds only of his ministrations. In a few minutes, he could feel her going mad.

He came back to her neck after making sure she had had plenty. He kissed her there, licking the love-bite marks he had made on her skin.

"Lorena… I want to take you… now… here…"

She heard the urgency in his voice. Urgency mingled with lust and… pain. "Please…" he insisted.

"Why here ? Let's go back upstairs. To bed."

"No !" Now pain could be heard in his voice, more than anything else. Severus knew he had to tell her. He had to trust her.

"What's going on, Severus ?" she asked gently while caressing his face. "Tell me."

"Lorena… I want to make love to you _here_… I need…" It was too painful for him to tell. He took her hands and put them on his temples. "I can't say… please… check it out by yourself !"

Lorena felt he was opening up to her – in his own way. He had urged her to use her contact telepathy. "I'll enter gently, Severus."

"Please do ! Now !"

She took a deep breath and sent him a love wave to reassure him. She entered his mind and saw the images he wanted her to see with her inner eye.

* * *

_Lorena heard screams and shouts first. Her inner eye showed her the same kitchen where they were now, though from a different point of view – from the threshold separating the kitchen with the sitting-room. A couple was more than arguing. They were fighting. Violently. The man was tall, dark-haired, with an angry look on his face. He had his fist raised above a woman, smaller, with lanky raven hair. They were not so different than Severus and she knew that the fighting pair was his parents. _

_Suddenly, the man grabbed his wife and hit her before throwing her on the kitchen table, pinning her there on her back. Fabric was torn, the woman shrieked, a slap was given, then another one. She cried. Lorena felt bad for the woman. Even when __he had raped her before the academic year had begun, Severus had not been that violent. She recalled when he had tried to rape her on the edge of the Forbidden Forest – he had slapped her once only – after she had bitten his tongue while he had been kissing her – he had bitten her, but he had not been that violent. No, he had been passionate, lustful, selfish, violent indeed, but not to the extent displayed by his father._

_Before her eyes, the man unzipped his trousers. Lorena heard the woman's protests and pleas. "No, Tobias ! No… please… not here ! Severus could see you… us… please !"_

"_I don't care about that freak boy of yours ! If he sees us, it'll show him who's the boss here ! ME !" A pause. "It'll show him how to behave with a woman ! Because that's how women should be handled, especially freaks like you !"_

_He slapped her one more time to silence her. Lorena knew that the man had entered his wife when she heard her scream – a scream quickly stuffed by a large hand on her mouth, a scream that was muffled by the man's groans and grunts. The way he was moving on her left nothing to imagination. Severus' father was raping his wife._

_Lorena turned her eyes away. There was nothing she could do. She was just a spectator of a memory, a bit like someone in a pensieve. Except that she could see as she was watching the memory with her inner eye. Her averted gaze fell on a boy half hiding at the threshold__. She gasped._

_The boy had lanky black hair, he was tall yet very slender for his age. He seemed to be ten- or eleven-years-old. An expression of horror was written all over his face. Horror at his father's words about him and his mother. Horror at what his father was doing to his mother. Horror at the notion that he had trespassed on something he should not have seen. Horror because he could not understand. Not fully. Unless the boy was horrified because truth and reality had suddenly dawned on him._

_The young boy was no other than Severus.__ And he had seen everything._

* * *

Lorena broke the physical contact and got out his mind. "Oh, Severus…" she said with all the kindness, the love, the sweetness she could muster. She sent him another love wave to soothe him. She was sure she was the first person he had told or shown that memory.

"Yes. I saw everything then. What he did to my mother. I could not fully grasp what he did to her back then but I knew he had hurt her. I knew it was something that I should not have seen." His determined, almost harsh tone shifted to a whisper. "Yet, when I became an adult, I thought that this behavior was normal with women. I had kept this sight in my memory, more or less consciously. I understood then why my mother had neglected me when I was a child." His voice croaked. "I must have been conceived like this."

"Are you sure ? Did she tell you ? If your parents had married together, there must have been something between them two at some point."

"I heard them arguing once. They hurled abuse at each other. I remember my mother telling my father that she had never been happy with him in bed. I was twelve or thirteen then. I had gathered what she meant. With time, I understood that I had been conceived without love. Not even lust. And even less welcomed." He caressed her jaw line. "I don't want this for our child, Lorena. I don't want this here, in this house. Our house. That's why I want to make love to you here."

"To erase that memory ?" She was doubtful that memories could be erased like that, especially old, deep, crude memories such as this one.

"Yes. I want the power of our love to erase all the bad memories this house may contain. It may not erase the memories from my soul but at least it may do something for that house." A pause. "Please, Lorena, help me do that !"

Lorena caressed his face. She understood. Only their love could help heal the wounds of the past. "I will, Severus, I will." She drew his face to hers and took his mouth with hers for a passionate kiss. He let her access his tongue and take it for a torrid embrace. He felt his body burn, his soul set ablaze. He took her in his arms and laid her gently on the table. The same table where his father had raped his mother.

The whole idea should have disturbed Lorena. Yet, it had not. She understood his motives. She wanted him to feel better. She wanted him. Severus inserted himself between Lorena's legs. He was still hard, even after the interruption about his memory. He resumed his ministrations on her womanhood. She moaned and eventually begged him to take her. He did so, happy she was all the more willing. He buried himself to the hilt, yet gently, remembering that she was pregnant.

As soon as he entered her, he closed his eyes, pumping in and out of her, building up pleasure for them both. His large hands spread her thighs even further. He could see his cock glistening with her juices as he was going to and fro between her legs. Lorena was moaning loudly – the sound of which turned him on. Her shouts of joy also helped him chase the screams he could hear in his memory – his mother's screams. Lorena had pleasure, he gave her pleasure. She opened for him to fully possess her, taking him whole, accepting him as he was – with his darkness and his light.

Suddenly, Severus realized that his childhood memories could never be erased. Yet, he knew at that precise moment, that he would never be like his father. Somehow, the confirmation thereof made him feel good. He took Lorena faster and harder, feeling he was close to his own release. "Come for me, witch !" he managed to utter between clenched teeth.

Lorena screamed her pleasure and she came in a feral groan that seemed to have emerged from deep within her body. He came a few seconds later, his own grunts echoing hers in an incredible liberation of his soul.

* * *

They made love for the rest of the day at Spinner's End, eating hardly anything at lunch – living on love and fresh water so to speak. Lorena had perceived Severus wanted to make love anywhere possible in the house to get rid of a certain past. Muggles would have said to replace evil vibes by good ones, full of love. Both spouses had had basically the same idea in mind, having both been Muggle-raised.

Severus made love to her in the sitting-room, in the sofa, against the wall in the small corridor leading to the stairwell and backdoor, in the stairwell, to finish in his armchair, where they ended up kissing very tenderly, very amorously. Completely in love with each other. Lorena was on his lap, a blazing fire in the hearth nearby. Severus had begun to read her poetry. Pretty much like the night before, Lorena had kissed his neck, his cheek, to end up nibbling his lips. Severus had stopped reading and in minutes, they were at it again. He was too glad to make love to her there, in his armchair. An old fantasy of his.

At one moment, Lorena kissed him on the neck, her tongue drawing tiny circles on his skin. He moaned. Before he could do anything, a searing pain tore apart his flesh there.

'_Vulnera sanantur'_, he heard her in his mind, while her tongue sucked his blood gently. He had been surprised yet his self-control had taken over at once, aware of what she had done.

"Now, you're mine as well, Severus. I've marked you as MY wizard," she said with a mischievous smile.

Severus was speechless – a feat actually. He put a finger on the love-bite she had just made. It would be totally concealed under his high-collared shirt. Then he remembered he could speak.

"Lorena, you shouldn't have done this… Do you have any idea how serious this is ? Do you realize the implications of such a gesture ?"

She smiled at him sweetly. "I do, Severus. I mean it. This is no teenager love-bite or whim or whatever you may call it. I truly mean it because I love you and you're my husband."

Once again, Severus was speechless. He swallowed hard and blessed her blindness for she could not see the mist in his charcoal eyes. "Lorena… nobody… ever did that to me… I never meant that much to anyone." His voice trailed off with emotion. _Nobody has ever loved me like you do._

She smiled at him. "I hope I wasn't too much awkward for a first time."

He caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers. "No, it's fine. Like your first time with me in the cave, remember ? You had been marvelous then. Don't worry, I've suffered worse in terms of pain. Besides… you may inflict me such a pain anytime. I'm so happy to be yours."

"I only wish it could be seen. Not too visible under your garments. Well, I suppose it's better like this. The Dark Lord would not be too happy to notice such a… mark."

Her words alluded to that other Mark he had received from his Master, long ago. "He's not the only one to have marked you now. He's not the only one to whom you belong to."

"No… indeed. Believe me, I'd prefer to be marked by you than by him." A pause. "I'm very happy to belong to you, _Mistress_," he said with a mock elfish tone, that sent Lorena into a fit of giggles. "More seriously, how did you know about… love-bites ?" he asked her.

"You have a very complete and most interesting library, _Professor_. Didn't you tell me once that you had read all the books here ? Unless you spun a yarn… to me ? Tsk tsk tsk…"

He chuckled. "You're an incredible little bookworm… weaseling your way into my library… tsk tsk tsk…"

They both giggled together before resuming their kissing and loving. She was on his lap. She slid down between his legs, to grab his maleness which she took into her mouth. In a few minutes, he was rock hard. She sat on his lap again, impaling herself on his cock with delight. She took possession of his mouth.

Like during the night before, Severus let her do. He had just discovered that he enjoyed being possessed by her as much as possessing her. She was sliding up and down his shaft, moaning her joy out while he kissed her nipples, his tongue caressing her plump breasts, his hands on her hips to steady her, roaming over her buttocks to increase her pleasure.

The fire in the grate roared ablaze even more when they just came together moaning their bliss out. Surely their magic at work, in an outburst of passion. Their love was like a flame, rising towards the sky like a prayer of life, a flame that consumed their bodies and souls, a flame that turned their bad memories of the past into ashes carried away by the wind.

* * *

_**Here**__** Severus shares one of his deepest hidden secrets with Lorena. It has already been hinted at in earlier chapters : in this story, Severus is the fruit of rape and violence, committed by his abusive father on his mother throughout their marriage, hence his father's total rejection and his mother's neglect for the boy he was. **_

_**That may explain many things regarding his behavior with women in general and with Lorena in particular, and how he could have been lured into becoming a Death-Eater that easily.**_

_**Lorena is very strong, assertive, and can show she can be a possessive woman too. I wanted her to be Severus' equal now she is his wife. I also played with two contrary tendencies of his : possessive/dominating vs. insecure/vulnerable.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! **_


	119. Plead, scream and crawl

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**119 – ****Plead, scream and crawl**

Severus and Lorena came back to Hogwarts via Floo. They were aware that their honeymoon was over, that these last moments of intimacy together were also the last before she gave birth, that the final battle was about to break out.

"Lorena, we're married together, yet I want you to follow the rules we have already set together since we have been… involved. You're my wife, I'm your husband but as this marriage is secret, I'll still address you with your maiden name, like before, in front of the students and the faculty. You shall address me as usual."

She nodded in silent agreement. His voice had no harshness. It expressed only concern for her. "Naturally, once we're alone here, we can revert to what we are truly for each other." Saying so, Severus pulled her into a hug, kissing her forehead then her cheeks, her nose, her lips. "I love you, Lorena. Never forget it."

She hugged him in return. "I love you too, Severus." She parted from him, her hands feeling his face, caressing his lips. She had a sad smile. "My wizard… My Dark wizard… My beloved Dark wizard…" She had said so with a very sweet voice that showed she loved him, taking him as a whole, darkness and everything.

Her hands left his face and touched his neck gently. Her fingers searched under his high-collared shirt and found the small scar of her love-bite. "You're mine, never forget it !" She giggled a little but Severus was no fool – he was well aware that she did her best not to cry in front of him. Laughing for not crying.

"Everything's going to be alright, Lorena. Before long, we'll be together out in the open, with our son." He was not so sure, he knew she could perceive his own doubts. Yet, she was grateful to him that he tried to cheer her up.

"Yes, you're right," she said with a broad grin that warmed up his heart. "We'll make it through."

"That's my girl. Now, I suggest you go back to the Slytherin common room."

"Yes, back from a wonderful weekend with my beloved husband." She swallowed hard. "Severus… it was great to be with you like that. I had the feeling I was back into the cave."

"I know. I had the same feeling. Now, go, Lorena." He kissed her lips a last time. Lorena pulled away from him and left his office after he had checked there was nobody in the corridors leading to the Slytherin common room.

* * *

Lorena met Draco Malfoy on her way to the common room. He took her arm and made her swirl. Her cloak moved around her, revealing not only the lovely green dress she wore but also how advanced her pregnancy was.

"My, my, Lorena, you're gorgeous," he said admiratively. Then, closer to her, "I didn't know you were that much pregnant either."

Lorena paled. In her blissfulness, she had completely forgotten to cast the Notice-Me-Not charm on her garments. She did so at once, lest another student spotted her like this. She had a good relationship with Draco but he was still the child of a prominent Death-Eater.

"So, where had my favorite Mudblood been for the whole weekend ?" he asked humorously.

Lorena had regained her composure. The word 'Mudblood' did not offend her any longer, especially in Draco's mouth. She smiled at him – while keeping in mind to be cautious. "With my husband."

"Whoa, lucky man," he replied while thinking how much lucky Severus was indeed. He hoped his godfather knew his luck. "I should have married you, Lorena."

She perceived his jolly mood. "Not sure your parents would have approved. Not sure you'd be a good husband either, philandering as you are," she said mockingly.

"My parents, you're probably right. Though Mother holds you in high esteem. As for me being a good husband, I'm already a sex god, so you would not lose a lot." _I wonder how Severus is in bed with a girl_, the young man mused.

As if on cue, Lorena burst out in laughter. "That remains to be seen, dear Draco. My husband… is very good in bed."

Draco blessed her blindness – he felt he was blushing furiously. In fact, he had a hard time imagining Severus, his godfather, being a good lover. He could be so cold, ruthless, cruel, nasty and prone to bouts of violence. "Honestly, Lorena, between you and me, does your husband… is he that good ?"

"Oh, yes, he is," she replied dreamingly, having sense his train of thoughts, through their physical contact. _Time to have a bit of fun out of you, Draco. _"He shagged me senseless for the whole weekend." She could not see his embarrassment yet she must have perceived it somehow and had fun with it. "You're too much curious, Draco. What's going on with you ? Jealous ?"

"Me ? Jealous ? Oh no, Lorena ! I'm not !" How could he be jealous of his godfather ? Honestly ? The Malfoy charm was something that Snape would never achieve.

They had been walking back to the Slytherin common room. "And what about you, Draco ? Still shagging Pansy ?"

"Only when I get bored," he replied lazily. "No, I managed to avoid her this weekend. In fact, I was with my parents. Father needed to talk to me." His tone was suddenly serious.

"Oh. Be careful, your father may have serious projects for you then. Like finding you a spouse."

Draco bit his tongue. _I would have loved, compared to what he had told me._ Not that he was keen on getting married so fast but the order his father had forwarded him to carry out was not the easiest thing to do, thinking of it. "Listen, Lorena, I need to see our Head of House. Do you know where I could find him ?"

"He brought me back from my husband's house." That was not a lie – technically. "He was in his office when I left him. He must be still there. If you hurry up, you may catch him before he set out for only Merlin knows where."

"Thank you so much, Lorena." He squeezed her arm in a grateful gesture. "See you at dinner."

A contact enough to forward her his sudden anxiety. _Something happened to him during the weekend. Why is he so worried then ?_ "Yes, you do that."

Lorena entered the Slytherin common room, her face composed as usual in a mix of pleasantness and no-nonsense. No, there was something weird going on with Draco Malfoy.

Maybe Severus would be able to tell her later. She flinched when thinking about her beloved husband. She smiled breezily before Occluding her mind tight. Mrs Severus Snape had to leave place again to Miss Lorena Nottingham.

* * *

Draco knocked at the door of his godfather's office. He hoped fervently that Severus would be there. He had been happy to meet Lorena in the corridor, she had cheered him up but deep down, he knew that he would need more than cheering up. He would need real advice.

"Come in !"

Draco released a breath he had not even noticed he had kept. He entered the office and came to his godfather. "Severus…"

The Potions Master did not need to resort to Legilimency to see that something serious had happened to his godson. He suspected what it could be. "So what is it, Draco, that you dare interrupt what's left of my miserable weekend ?" he said nonchalantly. _Really that miserable ?_

"Severus… I need to talk to you… I need your advice."

The older wizard watched the younger man. "Sit down and tell me."

Draco took a seat. "Please, Severus, could you put a silencing spell and ward the door, before I could tell you anything ? I don't want anybody to interrupt us."

The Potions Master raised an eyebrow. _Damn, the boy means it !_ "Right." With a flick of his wand, he did as requested. However, he did not move towards the Floo to lock it – nobody, except Dumbledore, Minerva and Lorena, knew his hearth was connected to the Floo network. He did not wish Draco or anybody else to know about this.

"I suggest we may relocate to my private quarters then, Draco, if that's so important."

The young man nodded and followed his godfather. They sat in the sitting-room.

"I'm not supposed to tell anyone about this. Father forbade me to but, Severus… I…" He swallowed hard. "I've been assigned a mission, Severus. A mission I cannot carry out."

"What kind of mission ? And by whom ?"

"The Dark Lord has ordered me to kidnap a person and bring her to him on Beltaine's Eve."

Severus knew already what it was all about. "Go on." He wanted the young man to tell him – he was not supposed to know. "Wait a minute, you mentioned _her_ ?"

"Yes, she's a student here. A housemate of mine, that I know and esteem."

"A Slytherin student ? Who ?"

"Lorena Nottingham. The Mudblood."

"I see. For what purpose ?"

"Father explained to me that she's needed for a ritual the Dark Lord intends on carrying out with her. I don't know the details, Father did not tell me. He just told me that… I should bring the girl to the Dark Lord."

"Where ?"

"The Shrieking Shack." He sighed. "Severus, if I don't carry out the deed the Dark Lord has ordered me to perform, there'll be hell to pay for my family !"

"Then, carry out the deed. I don't see what should prevent you from doing so. She's just a Mudblood after all."

Though he did not show it, Draco was baffled by his godfather's aloofness. They were talking about his wife after all ! The young man remembered that Severus may serve as a double agent. _Surely it comes with that._

"Severus, I can't. Lorena's a good friend of mine. She's a fellow Slytherin. I would not have minded to bring back the head of a Gryffindor or a Hufflepuff or a Ravenclaw on a plate to the Dark Lord, but someone from our own House !"

Severus watched the young man carefully. He could not believe that House loyalty and friendship were the only motives behind Draco's reluctance to carry out the Dark Lord's order. The young wizard bragged about bringing anybody else's head on a plate but Severus knew better. The boy just did not have it in him.

"Tell me, Draco, are you sure these are the only reasons to discard the Dark Lord's command ?"

Draco watched his godfather in return. At this point, he had to be careful. He knew it. _How much can I trust Severus Snape ?_ "I know your rank in the inner circle, Severus. But tonight I need to talk to my godfather, my Head of House. Not the Death-Eater." He took a deep breath. "What would you do if you learned that I wish to take the Dark Mark ?"

The question took Severus off guard. It reminded him of the biggest mistake of his life. "You wish to take the Dark Mark, Draco ?" He had more or less suspected that the young man's torment revolved around that issue. His future as a Death-Eater.

"Just reply my question, please."

"I thought my question replied yours actually." _I need to make him understand that this is the most terrible decision he has to make – and the most stupid choice._

"You mean… you would not favor that wish of mine ?"

Severus knew he had to be cautious. Of course, he wanted to tell the boy not to take the damn Mark ! Yet, he could not jeopardize his cover. "I only want you to be aware of the implications that decision entails. Absolute obedience to our Master and his orders. Any orders. Like the one you were just given." _And far more gruesome ones, believe me !_

Draco was no more advanced. Yet, he had the feeling that Severus tried to lead him onto a path he had not planned to take. "And now, what would you do if you learned that I do NOT wish to take the Dark Mark ?"

"There again, Draco, are you aware of the consequences of your decision in this regard ?"

"Yes. That's the problem, Severus. Either I obey the Dark Lord but I will have to carry out a deed I do not wish to perform. Either I don't, and my parents may die at his hands. Oh, I may die in the process, of course," he concluded with sarcasm.

"You're not a Death-Eater yet, Draco." Severus had spoken very softly.

Maybe it had been his voice rather than his words. There was something in Severus' voice that was both soothing and supporting. Draco felt desperate. He decided to make the jump – the jump of faith in his godfather.

"I don't want to become a Death-Eater, Severus. I don't want to rape, torture or kill people. Not even to kidnap them. I don't trust the Dark Lord. My friendship with Lorena showed me that this pureblood business is crap. If Father heard me, he would surely skin me alive. Yet, I'm ready to confront my father. But the Dark Lord… that's another business."

Severus concurred with the boy's analysis. He was glad his godson had revealed his true motives and fears to him. "And a serious business at that !"

"So what can I do ? I don't want anybody to be hurt. I want to make it alive. I want all of us to make it alive. Including my stupid father !"

Severus chuckled – the only emotion he showed to the young man that evening. "You'll have to accept to be hurt. You'll have to accept that some people, whom you happen to love, may and will be hurt. We're at war, don't forget it. Let me think about your predicament and I'll try to come up with a solution about it. In the mean time, I recommend you to keep shut. Not a single word to anybody, not even your closest friends in Slytherin. And even less to Miss Nottingham of course. Is that clear ?"

The young man nodded. "Crystal clear."

"Of course, everything that has been said here, shall remain here, Draco. You have my word on that. Your godfather's word."

"I trust you, Severus. Mother does too."

"Does she know about all this ? You mentioned your father only."

"Father was honest enough with her to tell her too. Well, he did not have much of a choice either. Mother is to assist the Dark Lord with the girl in the Shrieking Shack. I'm rather under the impression she'll be there as a hostage. In fact, we are all hostages of the Dark Lord."

Severus knew that already. Narcissa had come to him about her son's assignment. Yet, he had to admit that the boy was right in his analysis. He had summed up the situation nicely.

"You may leave, Draco. I'll come back to you once I have something for you and your assignment."

The young man nodded, taking this as his cue to leave. Once alone, Severus took a drink from his PureFire whiskey favorite. He sighed deeply. This was going to become really complicated.

* * *

Severus went to see the Headmaster in his office. The old wizard was there, busy writing stuff at his desk. He raised his steely blue gaze at the man that had just entered. His blue eyes gleamed with warmth when he saw Severus. "Ah, my boy… I suppose you have come up from your dungeons not just to have a cup of tea with me…"

Severus smirked at him. "No, I haven't." He took a seat, on Albus' gesture of invitation to sit down. "I just had an interesting visit."

"Who ?"

"Draco Malfoy." A pause. "The boy's been briefed by his father about the mission the Dark Lord wants him to perform."

"Ah, interesting. What else ?"

Severus sighed. "He's not very keen on carrying out the deed the Dark Lord has asked him to perform. I'd even say… he's scared. He tried to conceal it but that was way too much obvious." Another sigh. "He has to kidnap Miss Nottingham to bring her to the Dark Lord, to the Shrieking Shack. The boy has ulterior thoughts about this."

"Ulterior thoughts ?"

"He's not as stupid as his father. On the contrary. He does no longer believe in pure-blood supremacy. He doesn't trust the Dark Lord the least bit. He's perfectly aware that his parents and himself are but hostages of the Dark Lord. If one of them fails, the others shall be punished and even killed. He asked me about whether to take the Dark Mark or not. He doesn't want to become a Death-Eater."

"What did you reply to him then ?" There was a hint of worry in Albus' voice. He knew how much Severus cared about Draco – yet he could not afford to have Severus' cover blow up as a spy. The Order was in dire need of the information the Potions Master could gather directly from the Dark Lord.

As if on the same train of thoughts, Severus explained. "I told him that he wasn't one yet. I'm aware that I was threading on very thin ice. Me, the Dark Lord's spy on you, Albus, his Potions Master, his right-hand man, member of the inner circle, I could not decently told him 'Draco, I'm so happy that you don't want to take the Dark Mark, this is the most terrible and stupid thing to do in a life, don't follow my example, blah blah blah'. I had to keep a semblance of loyalty to the Dark Lord !"

"Of course, Severus. You did fine. I trust you completely in this job. A job I would not entrust to anyone else but you, my son."

"I was glad that the boy opened up to me."

"You can be so. Aware as he is of what lies ahead for him and his family, he must undergo a terrible pressure."

"I told him that I would think about a solution regarding his predicament." Severus took a deep breath. "I don't want him to make the same mistake I did all those years ago, Albus."

"You were alone then, lost, misled and unguided, Severus." A hint of regret shadowed the old man's face. He should have been there for the young Severus back then. "While Draco is not now. He has you."

Severus nodded. "What do you suggest ?"

"Keep an eye on him. Offer him your advice."

"My advice ? What for ? The boy doesn't need my advice. He needs to know how to get away from the job !"

"I'm aware of that, Severus. You'll offer him your advice so that he may accomplish the assignment Tom has ordered him to perform."

Severus did a double-take. That was an exceptional sight that should have rejoiced Albus. Yet, the Headmaster did not even notice it.

"What ? You can't be serious ?"

Albus Dumbledore remained silent, his steely blue eyes set on his Potions Master.

"Draco Malfoy shall perform that task, Severus. He shall bring Miss Nottingham to Tom, to the Shrieking Shack, on Beltaine night, as planned."

Severus' face went pale. "Albus… you can't… we can't do that… Miss Nottingham…"

"… is your wife, I know. She's also part of our plan. She's the bait we need."

Severus stood up. He was still in control of himself but something in his attitude betrayed the seething rage going on inside his mind. Dumbledore noticed it too.

"Albus, you ask a young boy to bring one of his friends to the Dark Lord, for a Dark blood magic ritual. That friend of his is none other than MY wife, who is also pregnant with MY child !"

Albus rose from his seat too. "Severus, you already did it, for Halloween, remember ?" His tone was cold.

Severus blanched. He remembered. But then, he was not in love with Lorena yet. Even then, he had felt shame and sadness because he had not been able to spare her _that_.

Albus watched his Potions Master. "Sit down, Severus," he ordered. His order sounded like the Dark Lord's command – as imperious and icy. The younger wizard even thought that the two men were definitely not so different. Pretty much alike actually.

He obeyed – like he obeyed the Dark Lord.

"Have you ever wondered why Tom had not asked _you_ to bring him Lorena ? No, he has other plans. He wants you to assist him for the ritual. That means you'll be in the Shrieking Shack _before_ Draco brings Lorena. The boy's mother shall be there too. Keeping the Malfoys hostages is but the icing on the cake, Severus."

Severus was lost. It showed on his face. Dumbledore went on.

"For probably the very first time in his life, Tom doesn't want to be alone to perpetrate his crimes. He wants your knowledge of potions and rituals. You know how woefully ignorant he can be, despite his powers. He wants your protection too to carry out the ritual. Not only your assistance but your protection."

"Meaning ?"

The old man sighed. "I enquired about this ritual. Severing a child from a mother's womb before term is a crime, a terrible crime. The more advanced the pregnancy is, the worse it is."

"Our Healers do perform this every day in St. Mungo," Severus replied. "Abortion potions exist, they are legal, even if terminating a pregnancy is frown upon. I know that, I brewed some of them already !"

"Oh, yes, as a Potions Master, you know what it is all about. You're right. But intention makes the whole difference. When performed very early, with the consent of the would-be mother, abortion is a relatively safe process, though it doesn't always leave the mother's soul intact. Some women suffer from it, even years after, sometimes for the rest of their lives, even for a miscarriage. That is an experience common to whole mankind – not to our world only."

"Spare me the lesson on Muggle female psychology, Albus, will you ?" the Potions Master said sarcastically.

Albus remained unfazed by the younger man's words. He just went on with his explanations. "Save that this is not abortion for healing purposes. This is a crime – with everything that entails. When performed with the help of Dark magic, in a blood ritual, without the consent of the mother, so close to term, the consequences for the soul performing it are disastrous." He peered at the younger wizard. "Do I need to remind you that you'll be involved in all this ?"

Severus looked down. "No, Headmaster."

"Add to that, that this is a ritual to take the magical powers from a magical person, and I can assure you, this is a very risky business. I really wonder if Tom has measured all the consequences thereof."

"He has, Headmaster, he has. Believe me. He wants her powers. Her elemental magic."

"I've got no doubt on that, Severus. Yet, we doesn't know everything about elemental magic. We doesn't know the real extent of such powers either. See what had happened to your 'Draught Against Unwanted Tomorrows'. It was rendered ineffective. I strongly suspect that Tom doesn't know what kind of trap he has just put his little finger in."

"He just wants power. Nothing else is of interest to him."

"That's the problem !" Dumbledore said petulantly. "He's arrogant and ignorant ! Oh, brilliant and powerful indeed but how his brilliance and powerfulness will help him once he's entangled in the snare of his ignorance and total lack of humility ?"

"I fail to see where I do fit. Except for my knowledge of…"

"Severus, can't you just understand ? He's arrogant but not stupid. He must have gathered that he's about to undertake a very risky business. He wants to put all the chances of success on his side."

"Well, he's a Slytherin," Severus commented with a snort. "Nothing weird or totally unexpected in that."

Albus chuckled. "Yes, and you're one, and so are Lorena, Draco and Narcissa. Yet, I can guarantee you that all your Slytherin cunning put together won't protect him from what he's about to undertake." A pause. "Elemental magic is powerful beyond imagination. Lorena must have told you that."

"Yes, she did. She had told me that it is the equivalent of tapping in Nature's reserves. Limitless energy in terms of magic."

"All I'm saying is, the ritual can backfire on Tom. And on all the people around him. That does include you, Draco and Narcissa."

"You forgot Lorena."

"Her situation is a bit different as she's both the recipient and channel of that magic. But you're right, she and her child may be caught in the crossfire that may ensue."

"So why do we send her there ? Couldn't we just ship her and Draco away, safe in a remote location ? I could even manage to convince Narcissa to go into hiding."

"No. We need Lorena to be there, in the Shrieking Shack. Tom is not the only one to need her powers. We do too. She may not be aware of it but her powers are what _I_ may just need to overcome Tom."

Albus' explanations were not that easy to grasp – even for a man like Severus. He had the feeling that the older wizard was on board a train of thoughts he could not himself catch – a fast train that was speeding up each passing minute. "I'm afraid I don't follow you, Albus."

"We'll use her as a bait indeed, but I don't see her as a victim. I tend to see her as the weapon."

This time, Severus saw the whole plan. His face reflected horror. "You mean…"

The older wizard nodded. "I've seen many terrible things in my existence. I have overcome some very powerful wizards in my life. Yet, this time, I'm afraid I won't be able to do so alone." _I'll need help._

"You're after her own powers too…" He sounded disgusted – he was. "You want to use her. Like you used me. I lied for you, I cheated for you, I even risked my miserable hide for you… After everything we did for her safety, now you want to feed her to that… psychopath ! She's not a piece of meat !" His dark gaze glittered with rage. "She's my wife !"

"I'm sorry, Severus."

"Not as much as me," the Potions Master seethed with anger. "I won't let you play with Lorena and our son like that !"

He was about to leave the office. "Severus, you promised." The voice was cold again. The words made the younger wizard froze in his tracks. He felt as if a knife was put on his throat, the icy blade about to slice his flesh. He closed his eyes. "You promised me to do _anything_ I'd wish, Severus."

The Potions Master felt the powerful magic of the old Unbreakable Vow flowing between him and the Headmaster, swirling around his soul and seizing it in its irrevocable claws. His resolve melt like snow under the Spring sun. He really felt like a slave, tied as he was to his two Masters. Voldemort could harm him, even kill him, but only Dumbledore had the power to tie him up like this and make him suffer in his soul, with such powerfulness.

"Lorena will need you, Severus. But you'll need her too. The ritual will unleash unprecedented power. She may be the only one to be able to protect you."

The other Unbreakable Vow – that he had taken with Lorena – came back to his mind. He had vowed he would protect her. But Lorena had asked him nothing. She just loved him. Maybe the old man was right : her love had already protected him, it may do so again.

"That's if the ritual is carried out. I thought we would stop it before."

"True. But as we are not sure about the steps taken by Tom to carry out this ritual, we cannot but speculate. Before that, he may engage in actions that may unleash a lot of power. All present may be… affected."

"So what should I do with Draco and Narcissa ?"

"Offer him your assistance and help. Get him prepared for his task. A young man in panic is first a danger to himself. As for Narcissa, just tell her you'll keep an eye on her son. You cannot blow your cover, not even for her, not even for your godson. No need to frighten them both with the content of the ritual. What I have described to you, shall remain between you and me only. Not even Lorena should know."

Saying so, Dumbledore gave a book to the Potions Master. "I don't think you've read that book already. It's a compilation of very ancient Dark magic rituals. I'm sure you'll find it interesting. The ritual I think Tom is to perform is described in it. I put a page marker for your quick reference. You too should be prepared. More than anybody else."

Severus took the volume without a word. He just scowled at the Headmaster in acknowledgment and exited the office in a reproachful silence.

_Love will help you, Severus. Now that you love her, love is your greatest ally__ and weapon. Oh, but don't you know it, my son ?_

* * *

_**I like the change of heart in Draco. He's at an age where traditions**__** and prejudices have to be challenged and/or questioned**__**, where one builds up what will be one's destiny through one's decisions and convictions**__**. He's at a crossroads and he's just doing that. Whatta boy !**_

_**I enjoy showing how Albus Dumbledore can be truly manipulative. I don't mind comparing him to Lord Voldemort – they're both on par in my opinion.**_

_**I inserted a few lines from the different books and movies. Hope you'll recognize them.**_

_**The chapter title is a line taken from the song "Too Much Love Will Kill You" by Queen – which sums up the situation quite well.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	120. The virtue of silence

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**1****20 – The virtue of silence**

Draco had not laid all his cards on the table. He was aware he could still use the information he had about Severus and Lorena – their being married, his being a double-agent. Severus would give him his answer later - he preferred to keep that last ammunition for that moment. A good Slytherin was a Slytherin with a back-up plan.

Nor did his mother Narcissa. She had kept the bit of parchment where Lorena's lineage was written. Yet, she had not shown it to either her husband or her son. She did not know what to do with it actually. Though she knew more or less about the Dark Lord's plan with the girl, she could not come up with a plan. The only thing she knew was that Lorena Nottingham was a relative of her husband and son by blood. Of hers by marriage.

Besides, telling Severus about that piece of parchment would raise too many questions about how it had arrived into her hands. Yet, she had decided to keep the parchment with her all the times, concealed in her garments. She may not know what to do with it, but she knew it or the information it carried might come handy one day.

* * *

"Mr Malfoy, may I have a word with you now ?" Severus asked the young Slytherin after his Potions class.

Draco nodded. "Certainly, Professor." He followed the Potions Master into his office. The older wizard asked him to come with him into his quarters. The young man felt this was a rather private or very confidential matter. He still had in mind their conversation a few days ago.

"Sit down, Draco. We need to talk."

Draco obeyed. He was glad that his godfather had not forgotten his problem. Severus sat opposite to him in the chair.

"I've given deep thought to your predicament, Draco. I've examined it from all possible perspectives. I'm afraid I cannot do a lot unfortunately. You will have to carry out the deed the Dark Lord had asked you to perform."

The young man's face looked crestfallen when hearing those dreaded words. Severus could read deep anguish on the thin features of his godson.

"I'm sorry, Draco. However, there's something I can do for you. I can get you prepared."

"Prepared for what ?" he spat. "All I have to do is get her outside the grounds on Beltaine evening and Apparate to the Shrieking Shack. I don't need preparation for that !"

Severus watched him carefully. "This is not what I had in mind, Draco."

"Then what is it that you had in mind ?"

"Not only you'll have to bring the girl to the Shrieking Shack, but you'll have to remain there. With your mother. She may need your help too, as well as your friend, Miss Nottingham." _The boy's powerful and trained, he may prove a useful asset once there. If he doesn't fall apart. _He would see to that.

"That's not part of the initial plan ! Father said…"

"Your father omitted that detail, Draco. For the record, your mother came to see me about this situation some time ago as she has to come too. She had confirmed me that you'll have to stay there, as that's the Dark Lord's intention." A pause. "Do you want to help your mother ? Your Mudblood friend ? Even your father ?"

The young man nodded. "I'm aware we're hostages of the Dark Lord. Father may not realize it but I do, and so does Mother." A pause. "I want them safe, Severus. All of them."

"So you know what to do then."

"And you, what about you ? What can you do to help us ?" His voice shook with anxiety.

"I told you already. I can get you more trained. Beltaine is in about a month. I believe you're already a good Occlumens."

"It's what Aunt Bellatrix says. She trained me up."

"Excellent. A most useful skill. Also, I can train you in focusing your magical energy onto a specific goal. Moreover, I advise you to be very careful about defense hexes and jinxes. You may have to block unfriendly spells."

"Unfriendly spells ? From whom ?"

Severus watched the young man with his piercing charcoal gaze. He did not reply, leaving the possibilities open. _If the boy is not stupid, he should understand whom I'm referring to. I know he's not stupid._

"You mean the Dark Lord's ?"

The look on Severus' face was enough to confirm the young man in his opinion. "I think I've said enough, Draco. Just meet me next Saturday morning so that I can check about your defense spells. In the D.A.D.A. classroom."

Draco nodded. "Certainly, Professor."

"A last thing concerning Miss Nottingham. Due to her pregnancy, you will have to bring her to the Shrieking Shack by broom. Apparition may prove fatal and you would not displease the Dark Lord by bringing him back a dead body, would you ? Remember, she belongs to the Dark Lord." _No, she belongs to me !_

"By broom ?" He was perplexed – he was already trying to figure out how to convince her to go on a broom.

"That's where I may help you, Draco…" his godfather said with a smirk. "You may go back to your common room now." Draco took this as his cue to leave. "Oh, Draco. Not a word about all this to anyone. Not even your housemates. Including your Mudblood friend."

Draco smirked at him. He had perceived that his godfather had been in full Death-Eater mode. Yet, he had wanted to tell him to drop the whole act as he knew everything about them two already. However, he could understand Severus. The Potions Master was not supposed to know that Draco knew. The younger wizard had to reckon that his godfather was all the more cautious. _If he managed to go through this, that's because of that same act he has played all these years._

Suddenly, Draco felt that he would go through this. With the help of his godfather, he had nothing to fear. He would make it alive. He hoped they would all make it alive. Having a man like Severus Snape on their side was a good thing. He would help them all make it alive.

* * *

April arrived and with it, the Easter holidays. Most of the students had left to go back home, except the fifth- and seventh-years, who had stayed to work more before their OWLs and NEWTs respectively. Draco was among them. Lorena was the only one in her dorm to have stayed behind.

She had kept in mind that she should no longer cast the Notice-Me-Not charm onto her garments, as per Ms Pomfrey's recommendations. The medi-witch had renewed her advice during the early April physical she had given to Lorena. The young witch was accompanied by Severus who had wanted to know how her pregnancy was going. Poppy had told them that everything was fine, that she may give birth anytime between now and Beltaine.

Or _on_ Beltaine.

Which was not an option for Severus. He had to think of a plan and discuss it with the Headmaster.

As there were far less students in the castle during the holidays, it had been decided that Lorena would remain in her dorm. The remaining students had planned to work hard in the library, so she should be left relatively alone. Nobody would notice how big she was now under her school robes she had enlarged. Besides, she was _supposed_ to enter her sixth month, she could afford to show a bit more.

Severus had also suggested that she spent the weekends with him, in his quarters. Lorena accepted at once, too happy to be with the man she loved and had married. The man that loved her. They did not make love really because of her condition – yet they knew how to give pleasure to each other. Yet their greatest joy was to be together, in each other's arms, after all the tribulations their love story had known, before the final battle that may separate from each other forever. Sometimes, they just got away to Spinner's End for the whole Sunday.

One afternoon, on a Sunday, Lorena and Severus were together in the sofa in his sitting-room in his quarters. They were coiled against each other snuggily, Severus reading her some poetry. Suddenly, the impending doom and the notion that she may soon die, made Lorena cringe. Severus perceived it at once.

"What's going on, Lorena ?"

"I was thinking… how happy I am here, with you, Severus. Yet, I'd like you to do me a favor."

"And that is ?"

"I'd like to see my father. I want to see him before… before I may die."

The plea in her voice did not escape Severus. He caressed her cheek sweetly. "Of course, Lorena. Come with me." He helped her get up. He gave her a kiss before they stepped into the Floo for 12 Grimmauld Place.

* * *

Lorena and Severus arrived a few seconds later at Sirius Black's house, stepping out of the grate located in the drawing room, the only grate connected to the Floo network.

Some music could be heard in the distance. From the library, where George Nottingham had set up his instruments. The room was large enough to accommodate his synthesizer and the other instruments. Severus led Lorena there in silence. She had decided to make a surprise to her father and they remained in the threshold unnoticed.

A few notes pinched on a guitar reached them – badly played. Lorena knew that it was not her father that was playing. She had a tiny smile.

"No, Sirius, not like this, you have to place your fingers like this, here," George Nottingham instructed. He was teaching Sirius how to play the guitar. A few other notes escaped the instrument, this time giving a better sound.

Lorena pressed Severus' arm, showing him she would enter the room. He would just follow her. They had decided to keep silent about their wedding and the child's father's identity. The less her father knew, the better for his safety.

Lorena clapped in her hands to greet Sirius' efforts. The two men turned their heads towards the library entrance.

"Lorena !" George exclaimed, rushing to his daughter.

"Dad !" She opened her arms and they threw themselves at each other.

They remained in each other's arms for long minutes. George was no longer angry about his daughter's pregnancy though he had felt it against his own body. Or rather, he had decided to give up for the time being.

"How are you doing, daughter ?"

"Fine, thank you. I can see that you didn't lose your time," she said while turning her head towards the instruments.

"Oh, just honing my teaching skills on Sirius," George giggled. "After all, I'm supposed to be a teacher according to Professor Dumbledore. Oh, Professor Snape, good afternoon," he said when he saw the black-clad man in the shadows of the threshold. "Come in, join us, please."

Severus did as told. "Black," he greeted coldly his former classmate.

"Snape," Sirius replied with a sneer in his tone.

Severus helped Lorena to sit down on the sofa, earning himself an odd look from Sirius. Then the Potions Master went to sit in an armchair nearby. He did not wish to raise suspicions.

"So, Lorena, you came to see your ol' father."

"Come on, Dad, you're not that old !" she said with a smile.

"I need a break, George. I'm going to prepare something," Sirius interrupted. "Anyone on tea ?"

His question received general approval. Sirius called his house elf, Kreacher. But after a few summons, as the house elf did not show up, he left the library to fetch the tea cups and pot himself.

"Tell me, are you happy here, Dad ?"

"Oh, yes, that's fine. I'm not free but it's far better than the brig. The food is fine and copious. I have my own room. I can play the music anytime I want to, no restrictions. Sirius taught me how to cast a silencing spell on a room so that I don't disturb anybody, especially when there are Order meetings."

"And what about Mr Black ?" Lorena asked.

"We hit it off. He's a good pupil in music. He's a good teacher for magic, he taught me several basic things. I even managed to master the spell to power my synthesizer. Ain't that sweet ? Oh, he got me a wand that was in the house."

Hearing this, Severus – who had followed the conversation with interest – reacted. "Mr Nottingham, could you show me that wand ?"

George was puzzled but he agreed. He gave him the wand but Severus Levitated it toward the nearest table with his own wand, so as not to touch it. He studied it for long seconds before returning it to its present owner, this time the wand in hand.

"What's going on, Professor ?" George asked.

"Just checking that the wand had not been used for Dark magic before. Not that Sirius may have done it on purpose but he may not be sensitive to that issue – like most wizards."

Severus did not wish to enter into more details but he knew that the Black family had been more or less acquainted with Dark magic, given their pureblood supremacist background. Severus had even been friends with Sirius' younger brother Regulus – who had been a Death-Eater before dying prematurely in unknown circumstances. _Better be safe than sorry._

Lorena put a hand on her father's arm, sensing his puzzlement. "Professor Snape is a Dark Arts expert, Dad. Don't you worry, you may trust him."

"Ah, if you say so, daughter. So, is that wand correct for me then, Professor ?"

"For a start, yes. Though it would be more prudent and wiser for you to buy one, that would be yours and yours only. You see… wands choose their wizards. It's a very personal object, an extension of your arm."

"Like a limb ?"

"Exactly."

"Yes, I understand. Like an instrument. Some instruments are like that too, you just don't like to share them, even with your closest fellow musicians. Thanks for the tip." He patted Lorena's hand on his arm. "By the way, Lorena, what about your own practice ?"

"Oh, just fine, Dad."

"Care to show me ?"

"Yes, but please… play something for me first."

George smiled and shook his head. "Alright, alright." He sat behind his keyboards, made a few adjustments. "I'm sure you'll recognize that one. You'd better. Otherwise you're no longer my daughter, okay ?"

Lorena giggled at the mock threat. "Go ahead."

Severus was back to the armchair he had occupied previously. From his point of view, he could see George Nottingham's hands running on the keyboard deftly. He had to admit that he was impressed. The man, despite his stocky appearance, had long fingers. Maybe he would make a fine potioneer. Maybe Potions Masters could make fine pianists too…

A sweet melody began to get out of the keyboard. Lorena recognized it at once and squealed out of delight. "Oh… Dad… _Song for Guy_…" Her father smiled at her in satisfaction, happy to see her face.

The melody had something nostalgic and soothing at the same time. Severus glanced discreetly at Lorena. She enjoyed the music, her eyes closed. He wanted to take her in his arms now. Of course, he could not, not in front of her father.

Sirius came back with some tea on a Levitated tray. He put everything on a small table. He was attentive to the music too. When it ended, he clapped his hands in appreciation while Lorena went to hug her father. "Oh, thank you so much, Dad !"

"I'm glad to hear that you still love that song," he said while hugging her back. Then talking to both Sirius and Severus : "You see, I used to play that song to Lorena every evening, before she went to bed, when she was a little girl. I had dubbed that tune _Song for Lorena_. Pardon me, Elton," he finished with a false contrite tone, his both hands joined in prayer.

"Yes, some fathers read bedtime stories to their kids, you played her music," Sirius commented. "You lucky girl !"

For once, Severus agreed with Sirius – though silently. He realized that Sirius have grown up in a family most likely as dysfunctional as his own. Sirius may not have been the victim of an abusive father, like Severus had, but these pureblood families considered showing affection as a weakness. He had to admit that he may have something in common with his former classmate and nemesis. He sighed discreetly. The discovery disturbed him.

Sirius gave everybody a cup of tea. The break was most welcomed. He sat on the sofa, beside Lorena. Severus watched him carefully, his possessiveness rising in his heart. He simmered down quickly when he saw that Sirius was not to play it smart and seductive with Lorena. He just grab the guitar leaning against the sofa and began to scratch a few notes.

"Ah, that's better, Sirius !" George said a few seconds later.

"I think I really needed a break," Sirius replied with a smile.

"Keep it like this and you'll improve. Lorena, what about that piece ? I'm sure you remember. We used to play it with your mother." He tuned the keyboard.

"Oh, going gospel sound ?" his daughter enquired when she heard the sound turning from piano to Hammond organ.

"Yep. Take the cue. You should remember it." His fingers ran over the keyboard. An fast rhythm, joyful and uplifting, went out of the instrument. Lorena squealed again, joining her hands together to the rhythm set up by her father.

Her pure alto voice rose in the library, sure and determined. Sirius began to tap on the guitar body gently, following the beat. From time to time, Lorena clapped her hands. As she progressed in the song, her face was glowing with joy. Severus found her beautiful and… magical. It was strange to see that pregnant, blind, young woman, condemned to die soon, reflecting so much joy on her face. She was carried away in another world. Maybe she was escaping to that unknown world of hers. Severus gathered that this world of hers was music – and he just had a glimpse thereof.

Lorena stopped to sing while her father went on playing an instrumental riff on his keyboard, Sirius and Lorena clapping their hands accordingly. She resumed singing the last verse, ending it with a long note, a complete transfigured look on her face. If there was a Heaven for musicians, she was surely there.

Sirius clapped his hands enthusiastically. Severus was impressed and he also clapped his hands to show his appreciation. George congratulated his daughter. "I'm so glad that you still remember that song !"

"How could I forget it ? You played on the Hammond organ while Mum was on the piano. It was just great. And I do love Mahalia Jackson. That song is one of my favorites."

"Yes, _Down By The Riverside_ is just fit to put anybody in a good mood," George said.

Sirius sneered when looking at Severus. The Potions Master watched him with an ironic look in his eyes. "It was very good indeed."

"Trust Snape here to give a compliment, that's all you'll hear from him," Sirius growled. "What about you, Lorena ?" he asked. "Your father told me that you were a fine musician yourself."

She blushed. "Get your violin out, Lorena," her father said. "I want to hear you now." He had the tone of a professor – a tone that conveyed authority and request for obedience just by using voice inflexions. Severus noticed that he may make a good teacher – he seemed to have no problem with authority.

Lorena complied and get her violin case out of her robe pocket. She enlarged and opened it to retrieve the instrument. She took it and tuned the strings.

She began a joyful piece, that Severus had already heard her play. The _Contradanza_. The joyful tune filled the library. Sirius tapped his foot on the ground. George watched his daughter with a mix of awe and pride. Severus enjoyed the piece and he relaxed.

When she was done, her father congratulated her again. He went to hug her, telling her how proud of he was. He was happy to see that she had not lost her touch – she even had made some progress in his opinion.

She put her violin back into its case. "I need to go to the restrooms."

Before anybody could react, Severus took her elbow. "I'll guide you there, Miss Nottingham."

"Thank you, Professor."

Severus led her out of the library. The next bathroom was one floor down. He put her hand on the handrail while he put a hand on her back, careful to help her avoid a nasty fall. Once they were one stair below, he guided her to the bathroom. He opened the door for her and they both entered the room.

The bathroom was a small space with a jug and the toilet. Severus helped her to feel the surroundings. "Do you want more help, Lorena ?"

She smiled at him. "No, thanks, Severus. I can manage."

"I'll wait for you outside then."

A few minutes later, Severus heard the sound of water flushed out. He entered the room again. He wanted to hold and kiss her. That small space would be all the most convenient for that purpose…

"You were delightful, Lorena," he whispered, cupping her face gently. "Absolutely delightful."

"Thank you, Severus…"

He did not let her time to say more. He took her lips, his kiss becoming quickly more and more passionate.

"I love you, Lorena," he said with a tone dripping with both lust and tenderness, before kissing her again.

"Severus… love… mmm…" Lorena could not say more, her mouth caught his in a sensual kiss, longing taking over.

* * *

Sirius had tried to summon Kreacher again but the house elf was gone Merlin only knew where. Out of exasperation, he decided he would bring back more tea from the kitchen downstairs. "If you want things done…" he grumbled. He took the tea pot with him. He cast a silencing spell on his person to avoid the screams and abuses hurled at him each time he passed by his mother's portrait in the corridor.

The kitchen was located in the basement floor. Sirius went downstairs to get to the kitchen when he passed before the bathroom door. Some light was on there and he remembered that Lorena had asked to be led there. He found strange that Snape was nowhere to be seen. _Could he be with her, inside the loo ? But why would he be with her in there ?_ Curiouser and curiouser.

He got closer to the door, which was slightly ajar. When entering the bathroom, Severus had not paid attention that the door had not closed itself properly behind him. It was this kind of doors that may remain ajar when not properly closed.

Sirius was nearby the door now. He could even see the mirror above the jug through the opening. What he saw and heard left him speechless. Not that he would have to speak forth in such a moment but he could not believe what he saw and heard.

Severus and Lorena were exchanging the most passionate kiss ever, closely entangled in each other's arms. At first, Sirius believed that his former classmate was abusing his position as a teacher and protector. But the girl's attitude was not ambiguous. She truly enjoyed the kiss, she even kissed him back !

Then their words left no doubt either as to the reality of their relationship. This had not been a kiss taken and given in the spur of the moment. These two were involved together for some time. Their words talked about love, kissing, tenderness and… _A child ? _Yes, the couple was talking about a child coming. Snape was even asking how she felt now. In the mirror, Sirius could see the man, his hand roaming over the girl's belly in a caring gesture.

"Our son is fine, Severus. I'm fine, really."

_Their son ?_ She had also called him by his given name. Sirius watched them kissing each other again with passion. Having witnessed enough, he retreated silently to the kitchen.

Once there, Sirius brewed some tea. He sat down and tried to make sense of what he had just seen in the bathroom. George Nottingham's daughter, Slytherin student, being kissed by the Head of the House of Slytherin. A Hogwarts teacher. Her Potions professor. She was pregnant, with… _Their child, she talked about their child._ His child. Snape's child. Sirius wrinkled his nose at the thought. _What woman would accept to have sex with him ? And carry his child ?_

Sirius remembered the conversation when Dumbledore had explained the truth to George Nottingham about his wizarding ancestry, his daughter's fate, her pregnancy. The girl had decided to remain silent about her child's father. He understood better now. He understood better now why Snape was so protective of the girl too.

_Most likely he __must have been the one that had taken her virginity too._

Sirius understood also why she had kept silent. She knew her father, how he could react. In the next days, George Nottingham had told him a few things about his life _before_. Before his beloved wife had died. Everything revolved around that event. Obviously, he had not gotten over her yet. Sirius remembered to have wondered if that was possible ever. No need to say that the man had also ranted about his daughter's condition. He had wondered who the man behind all this was.

_Now I guess I have the answer._ Sirius realized that he had a choice. _Should I tell him ? He's my friend. She's his daughter. As for Snape… is he still my enemy ?_

Lorena had kept silent, invoking that the less her father knew, the better and the safer for him. Considering what was at stake, Sirius decided he would keep the secret for himself too. The girl referred to Severus as 'Professor Snape' in front of everyone. He could not betray her secret. Severus' secret. Most likely an Order secret too – even if that secret was most likely known of Albus and maybe Minerva only, among Order members. _Albus will have my hide if I speak one word about all this, even to George. Above all to George._ The best way to keep problems at bay – problems that were not his own after all – was to keep shut. The girl needed protection – Snape was there for that. Her father needed protection as much – he, Sirius Black, would provide for it.

_Snape, that sneaky bastard !_ Sirius thought. _Not only he can get laid but he manages to hide well his secrets. _The girl's pregnancy looked rather advanced. That meant that he must have had bedded her for quite some time already. He smiled. _Of course, if he's been there first !_

The kettle whistled. The tea was ready. Sirius had taken his decision. He would keep shut. He took the kettle with him and went back upstairs. As he passed by the bathroom, the light was off and the door closed again. He heard some voices upstairs. Severus and Lorena were back in the library.

They spent the rest of the afternoon between playing music, chatting and cracking jokes between themselves. Sirius was more attentive to Severus' behavior. The man had something changed – even if that was subtle. He looked more relaxed. _This young witch is strong, very strong,_ he thought, _if she managed to get some purchase over him. Bravo Miss Nottingham ! It requires being particularly brave to… love someone like Snape. _He remembered Lily Evans. She had not had this courage back then. He had to admit that he had a hard time to associate 'love' with the image of his former nemesis.

* * *

_**The virtue of silence, displayed here by Narcissa, Draco and Sirius, is indeed essential in these troubled times of war. Hence the name of the chapter.**__** Is that virtue a specific trait of Slytherin ? What do you think, dear readers ?**_

_**Severus and Sirius seemed to tolerate each other **__**enough for the sake of the Order. They have joined forces in the fight for Voldemort. That doesn't prevent them from trading nasty remarks at each other from time to time. **_

_**Yet time and maturity can have their ways too : maybe they would get past their past antagonism. We'll see.**_

_**Songs in that chapter : **_**"Song for Guy"**_** by Elton John ; **_**"Down by the Riverside"**_** by Mahalia Jackson (that I literally adore !).**_

_**For all those out of there who are geniuses and wizards with drawing and photo-manip, please feel free to use my work to spur your imagination - just provide me with the link so that I can admire your work and leave a review for it.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! The muses have been blackmailing me they would go on strike if they are not more properly fed… You know the tune, so be my guest with the button at the bottom of the page…**__** Eh ?**_


	121. Relieving pains

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**121 – ****Relieving pains**

The Easter holidays went by without any noticeable incidents. Severus had decided to coach Draco more about Occlumency and defensive skills. This had been easy as the castle was mostly void of its students – except for most of the fifth- and seventh-years, on account of their coming OWLs and NEWTs. There were no classes. Therefore, extra tutorials had been easy to schedule. Draco felt reassured to be trained by a Dark Arts expert and duelist like Severus. They could spend a whole afternoon locked up in the D.A.D.A. classroom. Severus was glad to teach his favorite subject – even if it was to only one student. Draco was talented and a fast-learner, which made the whole thing enjoyable for both student and teacher.

Lorena spent more time in Severus' company. She was in his quarters most of the time, away from her classmates' and housemates' possible scrutiny. She was quite tired too and felt that she would give birth this month. In fact, she wanted to give birth well before Beltaine. That way, she would be able to enjoy her son a little bit before… dying in the Shrieking Shack from the Dark Lord's hand.

She had thought about it. If she gave birth before Beltaine – which was most likely to happen – her son could be hidden to some unknown location. If both Alan's parents died, the child would still be alive. If the Dark Lord was brought down and his parents survived, they could retrieve him after. These thoughts should not entertain an expecting mother's mind but she could not help thinking about her son's welfare. That was her frame of mind – she was used to think about the consequences of her actions, especially in a Slytherin way.

Severus had thought about it too. Both spouses had spoken about the possibilities around their son's birth. Severus trusted Lorena's Occlumency. She would succeed in front of the Dark Lord. She had managed to do so in worse circumstances – when Voldemort had raped her. He had also asked her to follow the tutorials he gave to Draco on the subject.

"What's going to happen if I give birth before Beltaine ?" she asked Severus one evening they were together in his private quarters.

The Potions Master sighed. "I thought about it already. I talked with Albus and we agreed that it would be more prudent to bring our son to the Order headquarters."

"12 Grimmauld Place ?"

"Yes. Your father's there, and Molly Weasley could take care of our boy."

"Is that decided ?" Lorena asked – though she knew it was already and that the unplottable Black house was still the best hiding place for their son. Well, it was a good idea indeed. The only thing was that she did not wish to be separated from her son so soon.

"Yes, Lorena." His tone was final. Lorena felt he was in charge and did not contradict him. When Severus was in his dominant, overprotective mode, better not challenge him. Somehow, it felt good to see him so concerned about their son's welfare.

She sniffled. Severus came closer to her and hugged her. He could see that she cried silently. That was what he liked with her : she could cry but always did so silently – that is, in a way he could manage. He had never been good at handling emotions, especially other people's emotions. He could keep his own in check most of the time. But others'…

"Sorry, Severus…" She took out his white handkerchief that she always kept with herself. He smiled when he recognized the handkerchief he had given her almost two years ago, when she had gone blind.

"Understandable."

"It's just… that I can't stand being separated from our son… so soon !"

"It's still the best thing we can do for him, as parents," he replied softly. "Alan cannot stay in Hogwarts, the Dark Lord plans to attack the castle. You know that."

She nodded and wiped her tears away. She quickly regained her composure, leaning her head against his chest, seeking strength and comfort from his embrace. "You're right, Severus." They remained silent for long minutes. "What will we tell the Dark Lord when he sees I'm no longer pregnant ?"

"Was wondering when you'd ask me that question," Severus replied with a chuckle.

"Was wondering if you already had an idea about the answer," she countered wittily, a soft hand on his cheek.

"Well, I guess we'll tell him that you lost your child. You had a miscarriage. It happens, you know."

"Yes, you're right. It happens. I think I should ask Ms Pomfrey or the midwife Healer about it – out of pure curiosity of course – for the details, so that I can craft plausible memories."

He smirked. "That's my Slytherin girl." He caressed her face gently before kissing her lips.

"The Dark Lord… won't be happy."

"Even the Dark Lord cannot go against nature. Don't worry, Lorena. Everything's going to be alright. We'll make it."

"You sound so sure of yourself, Severus."

"Self-preservation and survival tactics. How do you think I've managed to remain alive all these years, serving as double agent for the Order ? Trust my long experience."

She sighed. He was right. But he could see that something was bugging her. "What's up ?"

"It's just that… what if… if I give birth on Beltaine ? Labor can take several hours, Ms Pomfrey told me."

Severus sighed. She was right. "I have no answer to that, Lorena. Let's just hope that Mother Nature knows what she does and let you give birth before. Now, I don't want you to be anxious over something that may not happen. I'm sure that you'll give birth before."

"Is there any potion that can help in this regard ? I know that Muggle doctors use certain drugs to induce labor."

"No, there are not such things in the wizarding world. We let nature does its course. Know that contradicting nature's course during childbirth can be fatal to the child's magic. Due to the nature of _your_ magic, that's not an experience I'd like to make." Severus remembered the book describing the ritual and what Albus Dumbledore had told him about it.

"What do you mean ?"

Severus was careful not to tell too much. He did not wish to scare her. He trusted her Occlumency but he could not take the risk of the Dark Lord learning that she knew beforehand what was to happen.

"I mean that your elemental magic is very powerful indeed. Birth is a natural process, most likely associated with it. I don't think that tampering with it is a good idea."

"Then let's hope that I'll give birth before. But I can tell you one thing, Severus Snape. If by April 25th, I haven't given birth, I'll ask Ms Pomfrey if she can bring me to St. Mungo so that something can be done in this regard. I don't want to give birth in the Shrieking Shack !"

He watched his young wife. She was right. "I'm confident you will give birth before. I know a way that could… speed up the process. A natural way," he drawled with a sensual, lustful tone that left no doubt as to what he had in mind.

Lorena got it and she laughed heartily.

"That's good to hear you laugh," he said softly before kissing her.

Yes, happiness was so good to feel these days.

* * *

Lorena decided to get up early that morning. The term resumed and she wanted to make a good start. She had been awake for about one hour already. Her sleep had been cut short by a lingering pain in her belly. Alan was very active. _In a hurry to go back to class, my son ?_ she thought tenderly while roaming her hand over her belly.

No, that was not the reason. She knew it somehow, in an intuitive way. She knew that today may be the day. _April 21__st__. Not bad._ She was almost relieved – if that could be the case indeed.

She sat up on her bed. This time, a brief but intense pain hit her. She bit her lip not to shout. She took a deep breath, massaged her belly. The pain was gone in a few seconds. _My son is indeed in a hurry to go back to class._ She had one hour of Charms, then a break of two hours before Arithmancy. She would go to the library.

She got up and took her garments before going to the bathroom. A good shower would make her feel better if not great. She was ready about half an hour later and began to go upstairs to the Great Hall for breakfast. She had barely set one foot out of the Slytherin common room that she felt another searing pain in her belly stabbing her. Keeping her self-control, she retreated to the common room and sat on one of the sofas there. She began to inspire and expire methodically, like she had read in one of the books about childbirth and pain management Ms Pomfrey had lent her. The pain would subside eventually. Though Lorena wondered if she was not about to give birth in the Slytherin common room. Despite its comfort, giving birth in the very place where all the Death-Eaters' children could see her in such a position was not a prospect she was thrilled with.

The pain disappeared and she managed to stand up. She went out, relieved that she would not give birth in the Slytherin common room. She made her way upstairs slowly and entered the Great Hall with a strange sense of happiness in her. Yes, it would be great if she could give birth _today_.

* * *

Lorena made it to the Great Hall. She took her seat at the Slytherin table as usual, at the end of the table close to the High Table, so that Severus could see her. The place was filled with students. She met her housemates at the table, the boys talking about the next Quidditch match while the girls exchanged a few gossips. Lorena remained silent. She sent a love wave through her Love-Snakes ring – if Severus was around, the Love-Snakes would informed her so through a delicious tingling on her finger.

He was. She turned her head towards the High Table and smiled. Even if she could not see, she was sure he was watching her and would know that her smile would be for him only. She was just smiling – who could suspect she was smiling to one professor in particular ?

Draco came to sit in front of her. He had seen her smiling and he knew to whom she was doing so. He acted as if he had noticed nothing so that not even his godfather could remark anything. The young man glanced at the High Table. Severus was watching in their direction but his face remained unreadable as ever.

Draco greeted Lorena and asked her how she felt. The young witch told him that she was fine.

"I plan to go to the library after breakfast. I have one hour free before my first class of the day – Transfiguration."

"Oh, can I come with you ?" Lorena asked. "I have a book I need to borrow and another one I have to give back."

"Yes, sure," Draco replied with a smile. "So let's hurry up then."

They finished their meal. Lorena was about to raise from the bench when another pain stabbed her. She paled. Draco noticed at once that something weird was going on. She looked really in pain, her hand on her stomach.

"Are you okay ?" he asked, a concerned tone in his voice.

She seemed to have caught her breath again. "Yes, yes… just gone…"

One of her dormmates, sitting just beside her, filled her glass with some pumpkin juice. "Take this, Lorena," she said gently while putting the glass in her hand. "Pumpkin juice. Drink it. You're all pale, should do you some good."

"Thanks." Lorena drank the glass. Some color came back to her. "I guess Alan's particularly active since early this morning."

Draco eyed her suspiciously. "Shall we go ?" he asked after a few minutes.

Lorena had a poor smile. "Yes, let's go now." She left the table, slowly, gripping her school robes around her body and putting her bag on her shoulder. How weird it weighed much more suddenly, much more than it had when she had entered the Great Hall earlier.

* * *

Draco and Lorena arrived at the library, four floors above. The trip up there had exhausted the young witch. They both stood in front of Ms Pince's desk, their books to be given back in hand. The librarian checked their books, satisfied that they had been given back in good condition. She glanced at Lorena, her usual scowl on her face, with a disapproving look at her belly. _Pregnant girls in Hogwarts ! Young people nowadays had no more morality !_ The old lady was sure that the man responsible for this was none other than the young Mr Malfoy. _A good boy, from such a good family, having a child out of wedlock !_ She wondered how his parents coped with that shameful situation. She sighed again in disapproval.

Draco led Lorena to the closest chair so that she could sit for a few minutes, time for her to feel better. He had left her to pick up a book. She wanted to raise from her chair after a few minutes – she had a book to pick up too before leaving the library for Charms. A book about rituals. She directed her steps towards the History/Civilization section of the library, where such books may be found. Another pain hit her sharply. She had to bend in two and lean against the shelf.

This time, the pain was really strong. This time, Lorena could not dismiss it. They were recurring, regular, exerting a pressure in the lower part of her belly.

_Yes, I'm going to give birth today._ The realization both relieved and scared her. She regained a firm grip on herself, trying to steady herself on her two feet and in her mind. _I must do something otherwise I'm going to give birth in the library. How fitting for a bookworm like me ! Ms Pince won't be happy though._

Fortunately for her, Draco found her. "Lorena ! What's going on ?"

She turned her head towards his voice. She grabbed his arm. The look on her face said it all. Her lips trembled.

"No… don't tell me that… Are you ?" he said softly.

She wanted to tell him the truth, that yes, she was about to give birth. Yet, she could not tell him. "I… I don't know, Draco…"

"You should go to the Hospital Wing then. Ms Pomfrey could check what's going on with you."

Lorena opposed no resistance. He was right. Maybe it was only a false alarm. _No._ She knew she was giving birth. She had read in the books that the preliminary signs would be these recurring, regular, strong contractions, located at her cervix as if the baby inside pushed there to get out.

_Well, that's __what's supposed to happen._

The only thing that the books had not talked about was how terribly painful the whole process was. And this was only the beginning of it.

She let Draco drag her by the arm to go out. He was in charge, pretty much like Severus. _Severus ! He must know ! _

They stopped in front of Ms Pince's desk. Draco asked the librarian if he could leave his bag and that of his housemate with her. He would collect them later in the day. He explained he had to bring his classmate to the Hospital Wing, coaxing her with the legendary Malfoy smile, supposed to melt every female heart. The old witch agreed with a nod before reminding him that he'd better show up before dinner time. He thanked her and led Lorena out.

The Hospital Wing was two floors downstairs. Another pain hit her on the third floor. Lorena gripped Draco's arm with a force he had not suspected she may have. They had to stop, time for the contraction to subside. He helped her to sat on a window sill nearby, hoping she would not give birth right away.

She must have picked up his thought. "No, Draco, I won't give birth now… don't be afraid."

He chuckled. "That's okay, Lorena. One floor down and we're there."

She nodded and once the pain away, she stood up with his help. Once arrived on the second floor, they had to cross a long corridor before arriving to the Hospital Wing. Another pain hit her again, compelling them both to stop one more time. As there was nowhere to sit, Draco helped her to remain steady between the wall and his body. She grabbed his arm again, in an iron grip that would surely leave a bruise. She leaned her head on his shoulder, trying to evacuate the pain with deep breaths.

She let go of him when another pain hit her again. "Oh, Merlin…" she said in a ragged breath. The contractions were closer and closer to each other. Anxiety burst out in her chest. She managed to control it thanks to Draco's reassuring presence. She buried her head on his shoulder, stifling a cry. He pressed her against him.

"It's okay, we're almost arrived, Lorena. Come on !"

Draco almost dragged her along the corridor, one hand around her waist. They arrived to the Hospital Wing which was void of any human presence. Panic rose in the young wizard's chest. "Ms Pomfrey ! Ms Pomfrey !" he called frantically.

The medi-witch was in her office. She came to see what was going on. She gasped when she saw Lorena and Draco. She ran to the girl, wand at the ready. "It's okay, Draco, I'll Levitate her to a bed. Move away so that I can cast the spell."

He did so and before Lorena could fall to the ground, her spell hit her. She was brought that way to the room kept for sick staff members, to the same bed where she had spent two days after her accidental magical interaction between Severus' and Alan's magic a few weeks ago. There was nobody there – perfect for the privacy much needed during a birth.

Draco left Lorena after squeezing her hand gently in a reassuring gesture. "Don't worry, Mudblood," he said jokingly.

She smiled at him gratefully. "Thank you, Draco, for everything," she whispered to the young man.

"I'll come back, Lorena," he said more seriously. "Take care. I'll pick up your school bag that you left at the library, don't worry."

She thanked him in a nod as a pain hit her again. He saw her bit her lower lip before leaving the room.

Ms Pomfrey cast several warming charms in the room, on the walls, on the floor, so that the young witch may feel at ease. She helped her quit her garments for an examination, which confirmed her that the baby would be born before tomorrow. Lorena let out a relieved sigh. Her child would be safe. She and Severus may not survive Beltaine, but she was sure her little Alan would live.

* * *

_**A bit of interaction between Lorena and our two favorite Slytherins.**_

_**Things are getting rough for Lorena. Something's telling me she's in for a ride – and what a ride !**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! **__**The muses need to be fed more than ever… you know the tune… what about pressing that nice button at the bottom of the page, eh ?**_


	122. Alan's coming !

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**122 – ****Alan's coming !**

Draco went out of the Hospital Wing with a big question in mind. For the time being, he was probably the only person to know what was really going on with Lorena. He pondered if he had to tell Severus. Her child's father. Yes, of course, he had to know. The issue was not so much as to tell him than _how_ to tell him. Draco was not supposed to know about their relationship at all.

He went back to the library to retrieve his bag and Lorena's. On his way there, he debated over how he would inform his godfather. Her schoolbag would be a good opportunity after all. Yes, he would do that.

Draco set for the dungeons, refining his technique to address the issue with Severus, after he had retrieved their belongings. Unfortunately for him, Potions class had begun. He had no idea what year and House was inside. He was well aware that the Potions Master hated it to be bothered that way during class. For a second or two, he wondered if he could interrupt the class. Well, everything pertaining to Lorena was a valid motive – from what he had heard on Valentine's evening.

Draco mustered his courage and cunning before knocking on the door. He waited for a few long seconds that seemed to him like eternity.

A student opened the door. A first-year, from Hufflepuff. Seeing the Slytherin prefect, the boy let him enter the classroom. Draco registered who was in the class quickly. Double Potions, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. It would take the whole morning. He walked to the Professor's desk, where Severus was sitting, grading papers while keeping an alert eye on his class.

Severus was surprised to see his godson, and even more to see the worried look on his handsome face. "Yes, Mr Malfoy ?" he asked with that silky voice that always announced danger.

"Professor, may I talk to you ? Privately ?"

"As you can see, I'm in class, Mr Malfoy. Don't you have class now ? I'm sure that private matter you wish to discuss with me can wait till noon."

Draco peered right at his godfather's eyes, hoping Severus would use Legilimency on him, so that he would not need to tell him anything aloud in front of the other students. "I'm afraid it can't wait, Professor."

Severus glared at Draco – he could not tolerate to be challenged in his own classroom, in front of other students, by anybody, be them his own godson. "It shall wait then, Mr Malfoy," he replied firmly. "Now go back to your own occupations, whatever they may be. I have a class to run. You know first-years, they're as bad as you were at their age."

Severus could not help doling out a scathing remark. Yet, Draco remained unfazed. He knew better. This was a mere tactic to frighten the first-year pupils any further and make him feel ridiculous at the same time.

The younger wizard swallowed hard. He had not felt the Legilimency intrusion in his mind. Severus had no reason to use it on him after all. How could he tell him without a whole assembly of kids to understand the information he had to deliver ?

"Alan's coming," he said in a low breath. He paused to assess the look on Severus' face. Unreadable as ever. "Alan's coming at the place where it's safe for him to do so," the young man repeated in a low voice, hoping that this time, his godfather would get the message.

Severus did. He understood the hidden meaning behind his godson's words. A quick emotion passed over his face before he schooled his features into that usual unreadable mask of his. "Follow me," he gestured him towards the door leading to his office. "Class, better behave !" he growled at the first-years with a threatening look in his dark eyes.

Draco followed his godfather to his office. Once the door was closed, Severus cast a silencing spell over the room. "What happened, Draco ?"

"Lorena… I've noticed at breakfast she was not fine. She seemed to have… cramps. I accompanied her to the library because she needed a book there and I was going there anyway. We left the Great Hall together but she did not feel very good. She was with me at the library when her condition worsened. I realized then that she was… having the baby. I brought her to the Hospital Wing – where she is now."

Severus watched him carefully. "It's too early for her to have the baby. Sometimes pregnant women experience what is called 'false pains'. Besides, I don't see what I could do for Miss Nottingham. I'm sure Ms Pomfrey can take better care of her than I could." He scowled at the younger wizard. "Go back to your business at the library, Draco. Next time you wish to interrupt me during my class, you'd better find another excuse. Now… Get. Out."

Draco was under the impression that his godfather did not believe him. Or that he did not wish to believe him – after all, Draco was not supposed to know about their story. So he decided he would put everything on the table. He did not move, waiting for the opening.

"Mr Malfoy, this conversation is at an end. Get. Out," he said with a threatening growl between clenched teeth, his dark eyes narrowing on him.

"Severus… I know… everything."

The Potions Master darted him a dark look. "What do you mean ?"

"I know everything. That you're both involved together, you and Lorena. That the baby's yours."

Hearing this, Severus almost jumped on Draco. He grabbed the younger wizard's robes, an angry look on his face. "How dare you imply such a thing ?"

Draco returned the dirty look he had just received from his godfather. "I saw you both… on Valentine's Day… You gave her a ring, you called her with sweet names, you even kissed her. I'm not stupid, Severus. I know how to add two and two together."

"Spying on me, Mr Malfoy ?" Severus bellowed, his fist grabbing Draco's robes even tighter. He was on full Death-Eater mode now.

Draco kept his self-control in front of his godfather's wrath. "No, Severus. I happened to be in your quarters to escape Pansy Parkinson's nagging on that evening, when you both arrived by Floo. I cast a concealment charm on me. I witnessed everything. From what I saw, I could not but gather that the man she called husband in front of us all, was none other but you. That the child she carried was… yours."

Severus watched his godson, a dangerous flicker in his dark eyes. He remembered the evening vividly. The lovely time spent with Lorena. The bad moment that had ensued with the Dark Lord. Then he realized that his godson had witnessed something he should not have. He had asked Lorena to advise Dumbledore he had been summoned by the Dark Lord.

Severus was tempted to Obliviate the boy. Yet, it was too late – more than two months ago. "Have you talked about what you saw that night to someone else ? To your parents ?"

"No, I haven't. You may try Legilimency on me, Severus."

If the boy had talked, Severus would have heard about it. If the news of his double-crossing the Dark Lord had made it up to the tyrant's throne, he would not even be here alive to tell the tale. Draco must have kept quiet then.

"You shall not speak of this to anyone at all !"

"I can swear to you I won't, Severus," he said while drawing out his wand. Severus gathered at once the young man's purpose.

"That's okay, Draco. I believe you," he said while grabbing the boy's wrist to stop him. "No need to give me a Wizard's Oath." He peered at him and cast _Legilimens_ silently. Draco spoke the truth. He let him enter his mind with an openness that surprised Severus.

The whole thing seemed to appease Draco's godfather. "Severus… Go and see her. Please. She needs you." As the Potions Master remained motionless, Draco put a hand on his godfather's shoulder. "I'm a prefect. I can keep an eye on your class out there while you're absent. She really needs you."

Severus nodded. He lifted the silencing spell. Draco left Lorena's school bag in the office. Both men went out of his office. "Class ! Mr Malfoy here will keep an eye on you while I'm off for a few minutes for an emergency. As a prefect, he can deduct points from your respective houses ! So you better behave ! Mr Malfoy, you shall report to me when I'm back."

With that, Severus left his classroom, leaving Draco alone at his desk. The young man scowled at the first-years that cowered under his icy gaze. Draco wanted to smile - he had to admit that this feeling of power was enthralling. Now he understood what his godfather may have experienced during all these years spent in class. Maybe a career in teaching could be contemplated after all.

* * *

Severus left his classroom and went back to this office, then his quarters to use the Floo there. _Damn boy !_ He knew that Draco had not spied on him willingly. He knew that Lorena had not said a word to him either. All the same. Not only he knew about his relationship with Lorena but also about his double agent job.

The Potions Master had to decide whom he should see first. Lorena or Dumbledore ? He knew Lorena's pains were not 'false pains'. Not so close to the expected date of birth. Yet, for a first birth, she should go true to type. It may take her several hours before giving birth actually. Besides, there was the issue of his classes for the day. He wanted to stay with her. That implied that he may be exempted from his classes and/or a replacement be found. Only the Headmaster could decide.

Severus chose to go and see Dumbledore first – logically. He threw Floo powder into the grate and stepped into. To the Headmaster's office.

* * *

Albus greeted his Potions Master first with surprise, then concern when he saw the worry written all over the younger wizard's face. He was working at his desk when Severus stepped in from the grate. He rose to greet him.

"Severus ! What's going on ?"

"It's Lorena, Albus, she's having Alan now."

The Headmaster's eyebrows shot upwards. "Now ?" He realized what it meant. "Good. At least the child will be safe by Beltaine. Where is she ?"

"At the Hospital Wing, in Poppy's capable hands. Draco Malfoy was with her at the library when it started. He brought her down there."

"Good boy. Severus, if you need, I can exempt you from your classes for the day."

"I need to check on her now and then I can resume my classes. She should not be able to give birth before several hours. Besides, Mr Malfoy's in my classroom now, watching over them as a prefect. I don't want him to miss his own classes."

"No, Severus, I'll take over your class and release Draco from his duties so that he can go to his own course. You shall stay with Lorena. She needs you most likely. Go now. What class is it ?"

"Double Potions, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, first-years."

"Well, it should not be too much difficult for me to handle them. Go and see Lorena. You can't miss the birth of your child."

Severus did not move. Albus saw at once that something else was bugging his Potions Master. "Severus… what else ?"

The younger wizard sighed. "It happens that young Mr Malfoy… stumbled on something he had witnessed that he should not have then."

"Meaning ?"

"On Valentine's evening, he had sought shelter in my quarters to be alone, away from one of his nagging conquests. Unfortunately, he saw me and Lorena having a… a rather… intimate exchange together." A pause. "We had come back by Floo. Draco was in the same room but he had cast a concealment charm on himself when he heard us coming back. He saw us kissing, me giving her my Love-Snakes ring and calling her with endearment terms."

"You mean he has known since then about your relationship ?"

"Yes. But there's more than that, Albus. Just before I left then for the Dark Lord's, I had told Lorena to come and see you to inform you that I had been summoned. He has heard that part as well." He sighed.

"That means he knows now that you're working for me as a spy then," Albus concluded.

The Potions Master nodded. "I'm afraid he does indeed."

"How come you just learned that now ?"

"He came to inform me that Lorena was in the Hospital Wing. I dismissed him, stating that Miss Nottingham's condition was not my immediate concern as first, I had a class to teach, second, she was not supposed to give birth now. He did not believe me – of course, he could not. So he spilled it out, hoping I would go and see her at once. He even told me that she needed me and he offered me to look after my class, as a prefect." He put a hand on his face, sighing. "I'm sorry, Headmaster."

Albus put a hand on the younger wizard's shoulder. "My boy… that's okay… I'll deal with Mr Malfoy personally when I get down to your class. Besides, something's telling me that if he had already betrayed you, you wouldn't be here to have this conversation with me now."

Severus nodded. "I agree with you, Headmaster, but all the same. I know how Slytherins think and operate – I am one." His voice betrayed his worry.

"I don't deny that, Severus. Yet, I don't think that Draco Malfoy would be one to betray you. He's very fond of you, you know. He looks up at you like the father Lucius is not always for him. You're his godfather. Now, go and see your wife at the Hospital Wing. Draco is right : she needs you now."

Albus led him back to the grate. "You know the way there. May I use your grate to go to your office and classroom ?"

"Yes, sure thing, Albus. You may."

"Ah, thank you, my son, for my old bones," Albus chuckled.

Severus threw a handful of Floo powder into the grate and stepped in. Towards his little family.

* * *

_**Well, Slytherin cunning **__**at work between Draco and Severus – as usual. Draco showed a bit of courage in front of his godfather – ah ! **_

_**For his sentence announcing Alan's coming to Severus, I got inspired from the **_**Order of the Phoenix**_** movie, when Harry gives that cryptical message to Severus in Umbridge's office about Sirius : **_**"He's got Padfoot… He's got Padfoot at the place where it's hidden !"**_** (One of my favorite scenes in that movie.)**_

_**I don't know why, but **__**when I wrote that part of my story, I imagined Draco feeling frantic about delivering the news to Severus, pretty much like Harry had been then, and that movie scene just popped up in my mind. I could see Draco instead of Harry and Severus still being Severus, that is, unreadable, almost indifferent, snarky for sure. **____**Save that this time he could not ignore the plea by just replying **_******"No idea."**

_**Besides, there's the issue of Draco knowing every thing about Severus' double agent job – and Severus realizing it. How Severus and above all Dumbledore will deal with that new parameter, in your opinion, dear readers ?**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! **_

_**The muses need feeding through your reviews. I need the muses for my encouragement to give more and better each passing chapter. Therefore, you know what to do… (pressing the nice little button at the bottom of the page).**_


	123. I'll be there for you

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**123 – ****I'll be there for you**

Poppy Pomfrey was not a midwife Healer but she knew a thing or two on the topic of midwifery. She had been a mother herself. She had worked as a nurse in a maternity ward at St. Mungo before being hired as the medi-witch of Hogwarts. Yet, she knew she would need the help of a Healer for the birth. She was not a qualified midwife and she could not leave the Hospital Wing unattended while she was busy helping for the birth of a baby.

She examined Lorena quickly, reassuring her as to the baby and the birth process itself. The boy was in good position and so was the placenta. There was nothing wrong at first sight. She helped her remove her garments and put on a hospital gown.

"Lorena, I will ask Healer Fergusson, that you met last time, to come and check on you. You remember her, don't you ? She will be better qualified than me to assist you with the birth. Once I'm done with you here, I'll fire-call her so that she can check on you. In the meantime, you stay here. You may walk around in the room, sit, crouch, lie on the bed, you do as you feel. Just keep in mind that resting on your back may slow down labor. All I ask you is not to use magic. You have water on the bedtable and a bedpan for your bodily needs under the bed. I'll check on you every 30 minutes, okay ?"

Lorena nodded.

"Good girl. Is there anything else you may need ?"

"Yes… I need… Severus." She swallowed hard. "I need Severus."

Poppy patted her shoulder. "I'll try to get him out of his Potions lab or class. Don't worry, you won't give birth in the next two hours, by the look of it. I'm sure he'll be here for that moment then."

Lorena nodded. She was on her own now and felt very lonely all of a sudden. She took the handkerchief Severus had given her almost two years ago. Her other hand clasped the Snape medallion that had not left her neck since they had been married. These were the only things she had from him.

The pains were now regular and strong. Yet, Lorena managed to walk around the room. She just sat or crouched when the contractions were too strong for her to manage otherwise. She also remembered what she had read about breathing. It helped her relieve the pain – a bit. Up to the next contraction. She also tried to focus on happy memories, dwelling on something pleasant.

Severus' arms. Severus' hands. Severus' voice. Severus' kisses.

Yet, she felt so alone that soon, tears spilled down from her eyes. "Severus…" she whispered. She sniffled and wiped her tears with his handkerchief. "I need you so much… so much…"

She took her head between her hands and cried silently. She wanted him so much by her side. A violent pain shook her body. She grasped her sides, biting in her lips to stifle a scream. "I can't make it without you…" she said softly once the pain subsided. "Please, come to me…"

Suddenly, a hand touched her shoulder. "Lorena," said a deep, rich, silky voice that she knew too well. "We'll make it together."

Lorena had not heard him – he had sneaked in his usual way, like a shadow in the dark. Yet, she recognized his touch. "You're here !" she greeted him with a smile. She rose towards him and soon, two arms hugged her against a warm body that smelled of potions ingredients. She felt good between his arms. "Hello my lover…" she said tenderly. All traces of doubt disappeared at once.

Another contraction hit her. Lorena tensed between Severus' arms. He perceived it at once and led her towards the bed. But she remained against him, her arms firmly knotted around his neck. "Lay down on the bed, Lorena," he told her.

"Ms Pomfrey told me I should not do so, it slows down labor."

"Just sit down then." They both sat on the bed. He held her against him, an arm around her shoulders. He kissed her temple gently.

"Will you stay with me, Severus ?"

"Yes, I will. Albus will cover for me for the day."

"How did you know that… wait ! Draco !"

"Yes, he came down to see me at once, to tell me that you were here." Severus pondered if he had to tell her the young man's exact reasons but ruled against. _No need to alarm her. We can discuss this later._

Poppy Pomfrey entered the room. "Oh, Severus ! I was about to get a hold of the Headmaster so that he could tell you. I'm glad you're here !"

"Mr Malfoy came to tell me Lorena was here. I came as soon as I could. How is she doing ?"

"Fine, for the time being. Yet, I just got in touch with St. Mungo. The Healer that checked on Lorena last time, after her Apparition incident, will come and visit her in about one hour. Severus, if you could stay here with Lorena, that's great. Advise me when her water breaks, will you ?"

He nodded. "It's hot here," he said.

"On purpose, Severus," the medi-witch explained. "Lorena has to feel at ease. I suggest you should do the same."

Severus glared at her but Poppy did not care. Nonetheless, he followed her advice and removed his black school robes, then his frock coat. Poppy could not help eyeing him up – he was elegant with only his black trousers, black waistcoat and white shirt on. The whole thing enhanced his tall frame. _He's quite dashing actually_, she thought with a smile. _When he wants to. Shame Lorena cannot see that._

"A last thing, Severus. I don't expect you to be aware of that but let her walk around, sit or crouch, instead of remaining in bed. She may rest on the bed between contractions. But during contractions, she has to have her knees lower than her hips, okay ?"

"Yes, Poppy."

"Good. Now Lorena, you're no longer alone, everything will be alright." She patted the younger witch's cheek with a motherly gesture.

"Yes, I'm sure," the younger witch said while patting her belly. She felt comforted by Severus' presence.

They spent the better part of the morning alone. They hardly said anything, except telling each other sweet nothings, holding hands together, exchanging a few kisses, hugging each other. Severus helped her during the pains, to sit or crouch or even walking with her, supporting her, massaging her when she needed it. He could feel the tremors in her body when putting his hands on her belly. He marveled at the notion that a living being was inside that would be out pretty soon.

As a matter of fact, Severus felt even more over-protective of Lorena.

* * *

Healer Fiona Fergusson arrived as scheduled. She was surprised to see the tall man besides Lorena. She knew who Professor Snape was – the Potions Master at Hogwarts. She had already heard of his reputation as a very talented brewer – and a much feared professor. St. Mungo needed his expertise and talent sometimes for complex potions. It was also said that he was a former Death-Eater... For all these reasons, she did not expect him to be here – as the father. After a few awkward seconds, she introduced herself. She was straightforward in her approach.

"Poppy told me that the young mother would be here with her child's father. I assume you are so, Professor." She was all more surprised that a teacher had had an affair with a student – to the point of making her pregnant. Her disapproval did not show though.

"Your assumption is correct, ma'am," Severus said with a detached tone.

_At least, he's here. That's a good point in my book._ She had seen enough wizards that left their witches deal with the birth process alone.

Her professionalism took over. She was not there to judge people and their motives, that these two were indeed teacher and student. The girl was of age and this was not her business. There was only a couple in front of her, about to have their first child. Her only concern was the welfare of the family in front of her.

She made Lorena sit on the edge of the bed for examination, her wand out to cast medical spells. She also touched Lorena's belly. She confirmed what Poppy had told the young witch.

"Alright, young lady. Your child is in the right position and already on his way out. So help him by staying as much vertical as possible. The placenta is well-placed too, no worry on this side."

"When do you think I'll give birth ?" Lorena asked hesitantly.

"That's variable. Not before several hours. Let's say, it's almost ten. Since when have you got the pains ?"

"They woke me up this morning around six."

"I should expect a delivery by the middle of the afternoon. It depends on your progress. Every woman has her own rate of progress. Your water hasn't broken yet. It may not happen either, in that case your child may be born in the caul. Oh, nothing to worry about !"

"Yes, it's said to be a good sign," Lorena said with a smile. "My grandmother was a midwife. She had talked to me about it."

"Do you know if women in your family have fast deliveries ?"

"My mother delivered me in five or six hours. I was her only child."

"Interesting. It may be the case for you. You're 18, you have large hips even for someone your age. Out of experience, I don't think you'll have problems giving birth. It's just going to take a bit of time because this is your firstborn, that's all. Expect about 8 to 10 hours of labor, to be on the safe side."

"I can give her a pain-killing potion if that is necessary, ma'am," Severus suggested.

"You may indeed but very mild. She has to feel the pains to accompany them with pushing. Feeling completely numb may be comfortable but detrimental in the long run. The best way is still walking, sitting, crouching, kneeling. Massages can be helpful too. No lying down on your back, Lorena. Professor, you may help her by letting her sit on your lap too, without pressing her belly though. No foolish wand-waving either."

That sentence alone made Severus almost smile. He began to appreciate the Healer. He liked her practical, no-nonsensical approach.

"Most important, take care of her, be nice and patient. Soothe her if she gets upset. Comfort her if she gets anxious. No visits. You both need quiet and privacy."

Severus was about to reply he was not a nice man – out of reflex – but he shut up at the last moment. _Not the right thing to say at present time. _Yet, the notion of preserving their privacy pleased him. He was a private man. They both were actually. He would fight to maintain that. He had put his wand on his school robe and frock coat he had stored at the end of the bed when he had removed them. Well, he could repel any unwanted intruder with a simple flick of his arm.

The midwife assessed Lorena's condition another time. "Alright. I'll come back every hour to measure progress. Unless something weird happens. I'll tell Poppy to advise me as soon as your water breaks. I'll come back then too."

"Thank you, Ms Fergusson," Lorena said with a smile.

"Thank you, ma'am." Severus nodded in her direction.

"Lorena, Professor, see you later then." She went out of the room and closed the door behind her.

Once more time, the two spouses were alone again. Severus held his wife close against him. Then he helped her stand up and they both walked for a few minutes before another pain hit her. He held her from behind, his arms hugging her, his hands entwined over her belly in a gentle yet firm touch. He could feel the little being moving inside as the powerful contractions shook her body. His son. He whispered her kind words of encouragement. His deep voice had a soothing quality that appeased Lorena at once.

Once the pain subsided, Lorena let out a breath and turned herself between her husband's arms to face him. She leaned her head on his chest. "I'm so happy you're here with me, Severus."

"Did you think that I would let you have our child alone ?"

"I was certainly afraid you won't be here to see that," she replied with all the Slytherin diplomacy she could muster.

He chuckled at her sly attempt to dodge a straightforward reply. "You little snake… that's a Slytherin understatement."

She giggled in return. "Talking about snakes… Severus, could you do me a favor ?"

"Depends. What is it ?"

She lowered her gaze and patted the fabric of his waistcoat and shirt. "I know it's a tradition in the wizarding world to have a godfather for a boy. We didn't talk about it but… I'd like Alan to have one. Someone that could take care of him too."

Severus could see where this would lead her to. He did not wish her to nurture this kind of thoughts now. Though he had to admit that she was right – he enjoyed his own relationship godfather/godson with Draco.

"Do you have someone in mind ?" She surely had.

Her hands were on his shoulders, massaging them tenderly. "I'd like Draco to be Alan's godfather. He took good care of me this morning and he proved loyal to you by coming down to see you. Think of it, he was even brave enough to interrupt your class !"

Draco was not the person Severus would have thought first as a godfather for his son. In fact, he had thought about no one in particular. Yet, he had to admit that his wife was right. Besides, having a pureblood godfather from one of the most influential families in Wizarding Britain was certainly an asset. _Slytherin thinking at work,_ he scolded himself. While Lorena had seen that Draco could be a dependable individual. It even crossed his mind that if he had to die in this war, he would be happy if she could… end up with Draco. _Provided the boy doesn't die himself in the Shrieking Shack._ He banished the thought very far away in his mind.

"Yes, you're right. Nearly as brave as a Gryffindor. Surely as loyal as a Hufflepuff." His remark made her laugh. "Don't go telling him that." A pause. "I agree. I'll ask him once our boy's here."

"You agree ?"

"That's what I just said, love," he replied with a mocking grumpy tone.

Lorena hugged him. "Oh, Severus ! Thank you so much !" She caressed his cheeks with both her hands before kissing his lips very tenderly. "I love you."

"I know."

Severus kissed her back gently. She broke the kiss when another contraction hit her but he managed to keep her tight against him, stroking her cheek with the back of his fingers to soothe her, feeling sorry for what she had to go through. That was his fault – he had impregnated her.

She smiled at him despite the pain. She looked more than beautiful. Absolutely radiant. Then Severus knew that, if it had not been for that child, he would not have known what happiness is.

"I'll be there for you, Lorena," he whispered to her ear. "Always."

* * *

_**Don't we love it when Severus is a nice man – despite his stating the contrary ?**__** Though we all know that deep down, he is a good person.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! The muses need feeding.**_


	124. Slytherin vs Slytherin

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**124 – ****Slytherin vs. Slytherin**

Albus Dumbledore arrived in Severus' quarters by Floo. It was faster and gentler for his 'old bones' than going downstairs to the dungeons. He went out of the Potions Master's quarters and knocked at the same door that Draco had used, before entering. The students there raised their heads from their cauldrons and gasped at seeing the Headmaster. Professor Snape had gone out for an emergency – something serious must have had happened then if the Headmaster was here now.

Albus went directly to the teacher's desk, where Draco was sitting. The young man had decided to enjoy that moment to read his notes for the following class – Transfiguration with Professor McGonagall. He hoped that his godfather would come back quickly so that he would not miss class, though he was confident Severus would write him an excuse. He glanced at the class in front of him from time to time to check if the first-years were still working quietly.

The Headmaster smiled when he saw Draco. It even crossed his mind that the young man should contemplate a career in teaching – he seemed to hold the class with ease – though he was well aware than being a teacher required more than authority. Well, the boy had good grades. He was one of Slytherin top students. Even Hogwarts top students.

Draco noticed that someone had entered the classroom. He rose from his chair when he recognized the Headmaster. "Professor Dumbledore !"

"Mr Malfoy, may I have a word with you now ?"

"Certainly, Professor."

Albus turned towards the class, a serious look in his steely blue eyes. "Go on, class." With that only, he had made sure that the students would continue to work diligently. Draco was impressed. That was real authority.

Once in Severus' office, Albus closed the door and cast a silencing spell with a graceful movement of his wrist.

"Mr Malfoy, I've come down here to relieve you from your duties as a prefect for this class. You may go back to your studies and classes."

"Thank you, sir." He was truly relieved. Minerva McGonagall was as strict as Severus, if not more, when it came to tardiness.

"There's also something else I need to make sure, Mr Malfoy," the Headmaster said coolly.

The younger wizard watched him carefully. Albus knew he had the boy's undivided attention now. "You shall not speak to anyone about what you've come across on… Valentine's evening."

"About Professor Snape's involvement with Lorena ? About their child ?"

"Exactly. Professor Snape told me everything. That you had witnessed something that you should not have back then. That you had heard things that you should not have heard either. Did I make myself clear ?" This time, his tone was cold and firm.

"Perfectly clear, Professor." He sighed. "I understand that his life can be at stake if I speak up."

"Not only his life, but that of Miss Nottingham and their child's, of course. You wouldn't do that, would you ?"

"No, of course not, sir."

"Good. You see, Draco… I know exactly who is already aware of this situation. If I ever hear the same from someone else that is not supposed to know about it, I'll hold you personally responsible for any problem that may ensue in this regard. Did I make myself clear ?"

"Yes, sir. Crystal clear."

"Not a word to your friends. Not a word to your housemates. Not a word to your own family. Not even your parents."

"I suggested to Severus that I could make a Wizard's Oath to him, Professor. He refused." Draco was a bit ticked off by the Headmaster's insistence and obvious lack of trust.

Dumbledore peered at the young man. He was surprised that his Potions Master had refused such offer. _Severus is more Gryffindor than I could have ever thought_, he mused. _He and Minerva had said enough in the past that I think and act as a Slytherin. Now's the time to prove it._ "Very well, Draco. So I'm sure you won't mind making that same Oath to _me_ then," Albus said. The Headmaster had not scruples in asking such a thing. The boy was of age after all.

Draco remained silent and drew his wand out. He pointed it on his heart and swore that he would keep silent about all this and would not speak to his friends, housemates, parents and relatives.

"Now, Draco, are you aware that the Oath you just made to me, supposes that you won't even talk to Lord Voldemort, even if he questions you about it ?"

Hearing the Dark Lord's name, Draco shivered. Not out of fear like most of wizards and witches, but because he realized that the Headmaster must have known about his own implication with him.

Dumbledore sensed the tension in the boy. He decided on a particular tactic. A Slytherin tactic.

"I know you want to become a Death-Eater, Draco."

"No !" the young man exclaimed petulantly. "No, I don't want to become one !" Draco remembered what his father had told him : he had to deny any implication with the Dark Lord. Yet, his denial was too much sincere to be a mere denial. It was an authentic refusal. Albus peered at the boy, his steely blue eyes searching his soul with Legilimency.

Draco had felt the Headmaster's intrusion in his mind. Yet, he did not fight it. On the contrary. He wanted to show him that he was sincere in his refusal.

Albus nodded. "I believe you, Draco. Now you have to work on your Occlumency. Lord Voldemort would not be too happy to learn that you just betrayed him." There was a hint of scorn in the old man's tone. That was part of the tactic.

Draco was angry. "My Occlumency is good, Professor ! It's just that I wanted to show you I don't want to serve the Dark Lord ! I'm not a Death-Eater and I'll do everything in my power to avoid becoming one !"

_Interesting_, Dumbledore thought. _Let's see how far the boy is ready on this path._ "Your power is nothing compared to that of Lord Voldemort. You must know that."

"I do, sir. It's just that you're badly informed. My father wants me to become a Death-Eater indeed but I have other plans for my future career. Taking the Dark Mark is not a part of it !"

For a second or two, Albus contemplated asking the boy to make an Unbreakable Vow with him. Like he had done with Severus, all these years ago. _No, I won't ! The boy's already made a Wizard's Oath, that's enough. Severus… has endured so much because of the Unbreakable Vow I had asked him to take with me back then. Without mentioning the one regarding Lorena. No, I won't burden the boy's soul anymore than it is already."_

"You probably know that Lord Voldemort has assigned you a mission, Draco."

The younger wizard opened his gray eyes, as big as saucers. "How… how do you know that ?"

Albus smiled at him gently. "Come on, Draco, you know perfectly how I know all this."

It dawned on the boy. "My godfather… he's your spy, of course. He told you… everything."

"Indeed. He's my spy, as you heard on Valentine's evening. This was one of the things you should not have heard back then. I intend him to remain my spy as long as Voldemort is not brought down. Severus… is not only my most precious asset but he is also like a son to me. The son I never had. A bit like you are for Severus actually."

"Severus is to have a son today," Draco replied tartly.

"It won't change anything in his relation to you, Draco, and you know it. You'll still be like a son for Severus." His steely blue eyes peered right in Draco's eyes. "If you truly respect and love your godfather, then… you must remain loyal to him… and to me. In exchange of that, we'll do everything in our power to protect you." He watched the younger man. Now was the time for the final blow. "You and your mother, for example."

Draco's jaw dropped then – as expected. "What do you mean ? What has my mother to do ?"

"She'll be in the Shrieking Shack with you, Draco. I suppose you remember that Lord Voldemort plans to keep you as… how could we say ? Hostages ?"

Draco felt defeated. Not only the Headmaster was right but he felt he had been maneuvered right from the start, as soon as Albus Dumbledore had brought him inside this office for a private conversation.

"Malfoys stick together," the boy said defensively.

That argument gave Albus an idea. Maybe now was the time to reveal certain things.

"Oh, yes, they do. That's why you shall remain loyal to me. Being so, you'll remain loyal to your mother. Maybe to your father too. To Severus and to Lorena, for sure."

"They are not Malfoys ! You're not one either !"

"Neither is your mother, from a blood point of view. Your mother is a Black married to a Malfoy. Which is honorable. One of your mother's sisters is not precisely a supporter of Voldemort. You must know that."

"You refer to my aunt Andromeda ? Sir ?"

Albus nodded. "And I know other members of that prestigious family to be in the same trend, shall we say. But back to the Malfoys. Draco, there are a few things I'd like to show you." Saying so, he drew a piece of parchment from one of his robes pockets. He handed it out to the younger wizard. "Read carefully. I'm going to check on Severus' class."

Draco took the parchment and began to read it. It was a tree – a family tree. There were three branches stemming down from two sets of names Draco recognized. One because the name was famous in all Wizarding Britain. The other because it was none other than his own family.

The Gaunts and the Malfoys.

He read down and noticed that some names had been written down in red ink while other had been in green ink. He checked one of the branches and at the bottom of the page, he could read his own name, under those of his parents. His gaze went up back to the other branches. The middle branch sported names with names written down in red and green ink. Intrigued, he read the names. _Nottingham ? Like… Lorena ? _His quick gaze soon found confirmation to his question. Lorena's name was mentioned at the bottom, at the same generational level than his own. In green.

"I need to sit down," Draco said aloud. He found a chair. His Mudblood housemate was not one. His eyes went up the document. He read the names of her parents, her grandparents… _Wait ! Her grandmother was a… Gaunt ?_ His eyes read the names of her great-grandparents. _Thaddeus Gaunt and Calpurnia… Malfoy ?_

He was glad to be sitting. His favorite Mudblood was a Malfoy ! Draco counted the generations. Lorena had one-eighth of Malfoy blood running in her veins…

_She's a Malfoy !_ Now he understood where the Headmaster had led him when he had hinted that his own mother was not a Malfoy. Technically, this was true. It meant that Lorena Nottingham, with her one-eighth of Malfoy blood and genes, was more a Malfoy than his own mother would ever be. _Takes more than blood and genes to be a Malfoy !_ he thought. _Well, that means that all that pureblood supremacy is just crap. _

Draco went on reading the last branch of the family tree. The Gaunt branch. A name drew his attention. He gasped in horror. A name labeled in green. Tom Marvolo Riddle a.k.a. Lord Voldemort.

_Not only Lorena is related to us Malfoys but also to… the Dark Lord !_

He sighed. Life had just become much more complicated all of a sudden.

_Malfoys stick together. Lorena is one – a distant relative indeed but yet, still one. That means that… I have to stick to her __much more than to the Dark Lord. _

It also meant that the child she was having now… was also a relative. One-sixteenth Malfoy but still a Malfoy anyway.

_Malfoys stick together._ Draco left his eyes from the parchment. Dumbledore was standing in front of him, watching him quietly.

"How could I make sure that this is not an invention ?" the young man asked.

"This document is based on various family records Lorena has from her own family, as well as on the interesting conversation your grand-aunt Lavinia had with her on New Year's Eve. You remember Lavinia ?"

It dawned on him. "The concert !"

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes. You see… your housemate is very adept at getting information. She's very Slytherin in her approach, pretty much like you or Severus by the way." A pause. "Oh, a last proof this family tree is real. You surely remember that Lorena is a Parselmouth. As a pureblood, you must know that only one family in Wizarding Britain is endowed with that particular talent."

"The Gaunts." Draco read again the parchment – on the Gaunt side. "She's also a Gaunt, sir, by her grandmother. Who is none other than a first cousin to the mother of… the Dark Lord. He's a Parselmouth too !"

"Correct, Draco. Know that not only Lorena but her father too is a Parselmouth. Her son will most likely be one too. Her grandmother was one. She died a few years ago."

"Professor, it is said that the descendants of Salazar Slytherin were Parselmouths. I know this because my father explained it to me about the Dark Lord. So that makes Lorena… a descendant of Salazar Slytherin too !"

"Yes, Draco. That's why she's a Parselmouth. That's most likely why she had been sorted into Slytherin."

"She always said she had been put into Slytherin because she needed to be there."

"The Sorting Hat is a magical artifact with many mysteries." A pause. "The Dark Lord wants to be the only Heir of Slytherin. That means that he will want to harm her at some point. She's in danger and she'll need all the help possible."

The Headmaster's words reminded him of his mission.

"I told Severus I could not carry out the deed the Dark Lord has asked me to perform, Professor," Draco said with a sorrowful voice. "I can't. Yet, if I don't do so, he'll punish and even kill my parents." He swallowed hard. "Will you help my parents, Professor ?"

"I don't know for your father, he'll be in London. I trust your father's cunning to get out of his predicament by himself. He already did so in the past. But you and your mother… You won't be alone in this, Draco. Severus will be with you. I'll be with you. We're all in this together. We won't let you down."

Albus took the parchment from Draco when the young man held it out to him. "Malfoys stick together, you said. And so does the Light Side. Now, do I need to convince you to be on our side, Draco ?"

The younger wizard peered at the Headmaster, searching confirmation in the old man's steely blue gaze. He had no other choice actually. He was aware that Dumbledore had led him where he had wanted to – in a very Slytherin fashion. Well, pretty much like the Dark Lord had. Draco wondered how the Headmaster had managed to win Severus over the Light Side, away from the Dark Lord, what kind of arguments he had used back then.

His choice was quickly made.

"I will help you, Professor. I'll do anything. Anything but please help them all ! Please !"

Dumbledore smiled. The godson sounded so much like his godfather years back… He put a friendly hand on the younger man's shoulder – not so differently than with Severus. "I will. You'll receive your instructions from your godfather, Draco. Now, don't worry, Beltaine is not tomorrow, we still have time ahead of us." He took a piece of parchment from Severus' desk and a quill. He wrote a few words. "Take this, it should help you avoid Professor McGonagall's wrath for being late to her class."

Draco took the parchment. "Thank you, Professor." That gesture alone showed him that the Headmaster cared and kept his word. He took his bag. Both men exited Severus' office, Draco through the office door directly, Albus back to the classroom. The first-years were still working diligently on their cauldrons. They raised their heads when they saw the Headmaster spoke to them.

"Your Potions professor is away for an urgent business. I shall cover for his class today. Go on."

The first-years were too much impressed by the imposing old wizard now sitting at the teacher's desk, to react. So much impressed that none of them noticed the glee on Albus Dumbledore's face. He had just won over a Malfoy to the Light Side !

One and maybe two. He knew that Draco would not say a word to his mother. Yet, something in his guts told him that Narcissa would stick to her family, to her only son in particular. Confronted to the same situation, she would most likely make the same decision as the one her son has just made.

* * *

_**Albus Dumbledore in all his Slytherin glory. Well, manipulating Severus (for years), just turning Draco to the Light Side… who said Dumbledore was not a Slytherin ? Using Lorena's parentage to convert a Malfoy… that was clever ! Using Draco's faithfulness to his family… that was daring. But Albus Dumbledore is a real Slytherin in a sense : the ends justify the means after all.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! The muses need feeding… **_


	125. The miracle of love

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**125 – ****The miracle of love**

A bit after one o'clock, Lorena's water broke. She almost panicked when she felt some liquid running down between her legs but realized quickly that it meant that her son would be in her arms pretty soon. Severus brought her back to the bed and Scourgified the trail of fluids she had left behind her. He rushed to Ms Pomfrey's office to inform her of the latest development. The medi-witch went to see the mother-to-be to check on her progress.

"It's alright, Lorena, you're doing fine. Are the contractions still regular and strong ?"

"More than ever," the young witch said. "They are always there, it's terribly painful." Her eyes rolled in their orbits, as if she was about to pass out. Severus held her against him to support her.

"I think you have some pain-killing potion in your stores, Poppy. I brewed you some of a mild variety last month. Healer Fergusson said it would help her without making her numb."

"Yes, Severus. Come and check my stores while I fire-call Fiona."

They both left Lorena alone after making sure she could bear a few minutes of their absence. Severus came back quickly with a vial of a light blue potion in hand. He uncorked it and poured a quarter of it down Lorena's throat. She closed her eyes in appreciation. She felt better. The pain was still there, unrelenting, but she could manage it.

"Thank you, Severus… I knew I couldn't make it without you…"

"Shhh… Don't worry…" He hugged her and kissed her temple.

Healer Fergusson entered the room. The man was behaving nicely with the young woman. She would not have imagined that from a Death-Eater and the dreaded Potions Master at Hogwarts. She came to the young witch and took her hand.

"Lorena, it's Fiona. Poppy told me that your water just broke."

"Yes…"

"Alright, I want to check on you now, to see how you're dilated."

"I just gave her a mild pain-killing potion, ma'am," Severus said.

"Oh, good. I can see you respected my instructions, Professor. Now, I may need your assistance."

"My assistance ?"

"Poppy cannot assist me here, she's got several kids to treat now. Usually I have someone to assist me but I'm confident you'll be fine in that part. Sit on the bed, Professor."

Severus did as told. In the mean time, Fiona helped Lorena out of her hospital nightgown. The air in the room was warm enough for her to remain naked. Severus admired the graceful curves of his wife. She was more beautiful, desirable than ever.

"Now, have her sit on your lap… yes, like this," the Healer said while helping Lorena sit on her husband's thighs. "Support her, with your arms around her waist. Like this…" The older witch guided his arms around the young woman. "Just under her breasts. Hold her firmly but don't press on her belly. Just hold her so that she doesn't slid down or writhe too much during contractions. Yes… that's perfect !"

Then she took Lorena's legs and spread them, placing them on Severus'. He gathered what she wanted to do and spread his own legs wide enough so that she could have access to Lorena's nether parts. His knees blocked hers, keeping her legs apart.

"Oh, Professor, you got the gist of it. You'd be a wonderful assistant !" Fiona joked, which triggered off a fit of laughter from Lorena who imagined her husband doing that job. "If one day you don't want to be the Potions Master here anymore, I can find you a position in my team." Severus said nothing, he just scowled at the Healer but his young wife could hear him chuckle in her raven locks. He kissed her neck after promising her softly in her ear he would 'punish' her for her laughing at him. Lorena just giggled – she knew what kind of punishment she may get from him...

Now the contractions were powerful. Fortunately, Severus' pain-killing potion was efficient. She gripped his arms, his hands, even his shoulders, thrashing her head and moaning out of pain. But Severus held her tight against him, his arms a strong belt around her body. He had never held someone like that before.

The midwife Healer encouraged her to push. "Oh, I can see the baby, go on, Lorena, go on, yes, you're doing fine." Her voice was soft yet firm. "Yes, good girl… Oh, I can see his black hair."

_Not surprising,_ Severus thought. _We both have black hair._ However, he felt moved. He was even impatient to meet his boy.

Less than one half an hour later, Lorena felt something falling from between her legs. The pain subsided slowly. A baby's cry could be heard in the room. "Oh, what a lovely little boy !" she heard the Healer say. Then she felt a warm, wet, naked little bundle be put into her arms. Severus freed his iron grip from his wife body, just hugging her against him. Fiona secured the baby into his mother's arms and pressed the head of the baby gently against the young witch's breast. The boy began to suckle greedily.

The emotion was very strong in the room. Lorena realized that she was holding her son in her arms and that he was feeding on her breast avidly. She also felt something wet against her cheek, then flowing down slowly in her neck, on her shoulder, on her chest. "Severus…"

He did not reply. She could feel he was tense. Then she gathered what was happening.

He was crying.

Professor Severus Snape, the much feared Potions Master at Hogwarts, one of the most dreaded Death-Eater, the Dark Lord's right hand man, was crying like a child, while holding his wife and son in his arms.

* * *

They remained as such for long minutes. The Healer had told them that they had to wait for the placenta to be expelled before changing position. Then, out of tact, she had left the room, leaving the little family on their own, in complete privacy.

Severus had cried on his wife's shoulder for long minutes. He had cried before. When he had lost Lily. When he had begged Dumbledore for her safety. When she had died. That one had been particularly hurtful.

Yet, nothing had prepared him to the emotion that had seized him once he had seen his son in Lorena's arms. He could not care less that the Healer saw him like this. His defensive walls had just crumbled in front of a baby a few minutes old. His son. Alan Severus Snape. _My son… I have a son…_

He got a grip over himself. His fierce possessiveness towards Lorena kicked in eventually. They were _his_. He had his family in his arms, in a protective, reassuring posture. He would let nobody harm them – not even the Dark Lord. He was glad that the boy was born. He would send him away from the castle so that the Dark Lord could not get to him. Because Severus realized that despite the Unbreakable Vow, despite his own resolution, he would not be able to kill his own son to avoid its powers and/or his mother's to be taken by the Dark Lord.

Lorena felt his various emotions through their physical contact. Her own energy level was a bit low after the powerful effort she had just given. But his own mental defenses were completely lowered. He did not care – they were alone, together, only the two of them. And their son.

_I have a son._ It sounded just incredible. Like a miracle. The miracle of love.

Lorena broke the silence with a murmur. "Severus… tell me… how does he look like ?"

He whispered back into her ear. "He's beautiful." He didn't dare touch the baby but he felt Lorena take his fingers and put them on the baby's body. He was surely afraid to touch him, he looked so fragile. But his skin was so soft. Severus allowed his fingers to touch the baby's head.

"He's got black hair, quite a lot for a newborn actually." A pause. "He's got two arms, two legs, five digits at the end of each limb. Oh, he's got a nose, a mouth and two eyes."

Lorena chuckled softly at his humor. "Severus… please…"

"He's…" Severus stopped suddenly.

"Yes ?"

The baby had just opened his eyes. The first gaze he met was his father's. Severus smiled shyly. "His eyes… they are of a very dark blue."

"He's going to have your eyes then, Severus. Like in my dreams. I wanted him to look like you. You're so handsome."

Lorena was the first – and only – woman to have told him such a thing. He had first believed that was because she was blind. But she had not always been blind. So it could be only love that made her seen him like this.

"Let's hope he won't have my nose," he just commented.

Lorena chuckled again. "I love you with your nose so I don't care how his own will be, like yours or mine."

Severus remembered then why his nose was like that. It had been broken by his own father when he was a child. The Muggle hospital had managed to repair the damage but not correct the look of it. Worst of all, Severus had learned later that St. Mungo's Healers would have been able to repair all the damages, including its appearance, thanks to magic – while Muggle doctors could not. Tobias had forbidden his wife to bring their son to the wizarding hospital… Severus had never forgiven his father for all the mistreatment he had endured with him. He promised himself silently he would never harm his son, never raise a hand on him.

Lorena must have perceived his train of thoughts. "I'm sure you'll be a great father, Severus. A wonderful, protective, careful father to your son. Like you're a wonderful, protective, careful husband to me."

He closed his eyes. "I love you."

"I know."

Fiona Fergusson came back about twenty minutes later. She was moved by the sight of the loving couple and their child, all three bundled up together. She could feel there was something special about that couple. A powerful bond. A particular magic. Yet, none of them had been doing magic. The witch had no wand handy while the wizard's was still on the bed, on his garments, within easy reach if needed. Yet, not in his hand.

No, there was something else. She came closer, silently. She spotted it. The young woman wore a medallion around her neck that was glowing strangely. She had noticed it before, when she had helped her remove her hospital gown. A medallion with an 'S' designed on it, with green gems, emeralds most likely. Apparently, they had not noticed the glow on the jewel.

_Unless it's the magic of love ?_ she wondered. A long time ago, she had heard weird things about a certain brand of magic, very ancient, very powerful. A magic linked to the natural elements. _Yes, elemental magic._ That was how it was called. Was the girl a natural ?

She would ask later. Now she had a few things to perform on the young woman and her baby. She came closer to them.

"Sorry about interrupting you but we still have a loose end to tie, so to speak…" she said softly. "The placenta."

"Oh, yes," Lorena said. "I don't think it's out yet."

She felt the Healer touching her womanhood. "It's on its way out, Lorena, don't worry."

A few minutes later, the placenta had fallen into a small basin. The Healer noticed that the umbilical cord was no longer beating. She checked on the baby who was now asleep in his mother's arms.

"Alright, now I think you can move… slowly, stand up slowly… then sit on the bed. Professor, if you wish, you may cut your son's cord."

"Yes, of course," he replied.

"I suppose you may wish to keep the placenta."

"I certainly will."

Fiona clamped the cord. "Now take your wand, Professor."

Severus made sure Lorena was sitting properly on the bed. He grabbed his wand.

"Now you have to say _Sectumcordia_ softly."

He was surprised for long seconds – it showed on his face.

"Professor, you may cast the spell. It's harmless, it won't hurt your child."

"Are you sure ?"

Lorena had followed the conversation. She had gathered what was going on in her husband's mind. The spell sounded too much like… _Sectumsempra_. Dark stuff. She put a hand on his arm.

"Severus…" _"It's not a Dark spell, Severus,"_ he heard her in his mind.

"Sounds too much like…" he said aloud. Fiona watched him suspiciously. She suspected what he had in mind. The man in front of her was reputed to be a Dark wizard.

"_It's only the intention that is Dark, not the spell in itself,"_ he heard her again in his mind.

That made it. She was right, he knew it. "_Sectumcordia_ !" he said as instructed. The umbilical cord was severed at once under the tip of his ebony wand.

"Excellent, Professor ! I can tell you, not all fathers manage to cut the cord in one single flick of their wand just like you did. You should really contemplate a career in…"

"In midwifery ?" he cut her off. "No, thanks, ma'am. I enjoy brewing Potions too much to give it up." He could not see himself spending his days helping give birth. No. This was a women's business in his opinion. Not that he was in favor of gender separation or whatever – Severus just deemed that women's magic was better suited to childbirth assisting and healing than men's.

Fiona giggled. "That's true that Hogwarts and St. Mungo would lose a great Potions Master. Congratulations to you both. Everything went so well. How are you going to call the little one ?"

"Alan. Alan Severus," the Potions Master said.

"Alan Severus… that sounds nice indeed." She smiled. "Alright. Now, Lorena, that you are free to move again, I'll take care of you. You'll have to rest for the next few days. Sleep. But when you're not sleeping, move. Walk around. That would avoid blood circulation issues. Don't eat too much but regularly for the next two days. Don't forget that you're breastfeeding, so you have to eat properly if you wish to continue to have milk. Drink water a lot too. You won't resume school before one month at least."

Then she watched the tall man standing by his wife. "As for intimacy, up to you both. However, I recommend not before everything down there is properly healed. Then take it easy, very slow, very tender. Don't forget contraceptive potions or spells either. Your body's just undergone tremendous changes, Lorena. You're still young, it won't do you good to have another baby so close to this one. Your body has to rest. In two year's time, that would be fine for the next baby." Her words were for Lorena but her frank stare was for the Potions Master. "Poppy knows about all this, she has worked in a maternity ward before. In case of doubts, you may consult with her or with me. I'll come back tomorrow and every day for one week. I strongly advise you to visit a child Healer in St. Mungo once a month for regular checkups on your baby."

Lorena blushed. Severus' face remained unreadable. _So bad for the rough rides,_ he thought with humor.

"Now, Professor, if you allow me, but we have to see for the birth paperwork for the Ministry of Magic. Do you wish to do it yourself ? Or I can do it, if you prefer."

Something clicked in Severus' mind. Like an alarm bell, when he had heard the words 'Ministry of Magic'.

"No, I'll do it, don't worry," he said hastily. "Just give me the paperwork." _Like for our wedding, the Ministry should not know that the child is born alive and well._

"Anyway, you have a week maximum to do so."

She helped Lorena to put on the hospital gown and lay down on the bed. She took care of the young woman. Poppy entered the room at this moment. She went to the baby and took him in her arms. She was ecstatic over the infant. "He's so cute !" She confirmed the boy would have his father's eyes.

"Ms Pomfrey…" Lorena called.

"Yes, my dear ?"

"I know it may sound like a stupid question… but… will my child be… blind ?"

"I'm going to take him for a bath and run a few tests on him by the way," Poppy said. She read in Severus' eyes that she should not mention the reason why Lorena was blind. A Dark curse from Voldemort.

"That's a mandatory procedure, Lorena, don't worry," Fiona agreed.

Lorena swallowed hard to refrain from crying. Once the two witches were gone with the baby, Severus sat on the bed besides his wife.

"You're blind because of a Dark spell, Lorena."

"The spell lingers in me, Severus. Our son was conceived after. It may have affected him."

"No, our child was not affected by it because he was not in you when you were cursed."

"But what if…"

"No, Lorena. I know what Dark spell hit you. I didn't feel it on our son. I'm sure he's free from it. In case Alan is affected, there's one way to cease the spell."

"The Dark Lord's death," she whispered. Well, that was an extra incentive to get rid of the tyrant.

"Yes. And if Dumbledore's plan works accordingly, the Dark Lord should die. Soon."

"At Beltaine", she sighed. "Merlin hear you, Severus. I don't want any of us to die !"

"I don't want either." _I'll die for you !_

She made herself more comfortable in the bed. Her hand touched the Snape medallion around her neck. "It's warm."

"It's glowing. It's been glowing during the whole childbirth. Your magic is at work, I guess." Severus took out his wand and cast a few checking spells over it, silently. "Yes, looks like your elemental magic just expanded. Fascinating."

"Indeed." She smiled at him.

Severus took her hands in his to brought them to his face. "You may see our son in my mind, if you wish."

"You agree ? Oh, Severus, yes, please !"

He let her in his mind. Her inner eye saw the baby and above all, the moment when he had opened his eyes. "That's what I thought," she said after leaving his mind. "He's going to look just like you. Your hair, your eyes. He looks tall." A pause. "And well-endowed too," she giggled. "Just like you." She smiled at him.

Severus blushed and once again, blessed his wife's blindness so that she could not see him blush.

"Don't blush, Severus, there's nothing wrong with that. I noticed when I discovered his little body with my hands." She took his hand in hers. "He's just so perfect. Thanks for giving me such a lovely little boy."

"I'll take only half of the compliment, Lorena. I'm just responsible for half of the creation of the eighth wonder of the world."

She laughed at his remark. "Severus, you just made a joke !"

He had to admit that Lorena was right though. He could not help feeling proud to be the little boy's father. Then again, he wondered if his own father had ever felt proud like he was now. _No… Tobias did not want me… He just imposed me on my mother… _Severus closed his eyes. He did not wish the ghosts of his past to pester him in such a blissful time.

Lorena felt his trouble. "We're more than the mere sum of our genes. You didn't impose Alan on me. And I know Alan already means a lot to you." A pause. "You won't be like your own father, Severus."

Severus did not mind her perceiving the exact nature of his trouble. She had found the correct words to soothe him. He just hugged her against him. She caressed his hair, entangling her fingers in them.

"Are you comfortable enough ?" he asked to change topic.

"Yes. Save that this gown is not going to be very practical when I want to breastfeed."

"That won't be a problem," Severus said. Saying so, he took the gown by its collar edge between his powerful hands and tore apart the fabric in two swift moves, uncovering his wife's generous breasts.

Lorena gasped when he put his mouth on her chest. His thoughts about his father, her memories when he was violent against her, all this made her grasp his hands that were now caressing his breasts. "Severus, please…"

He raised his head. "Yes, Lorena ?"

She could not say a word but he could read the panicked look in her empty eyes. He understood. He brushed aside a lock of her hair. He put his lips on hers gingerly. She perceived his intentions were not made up of lust only. She gave in to him and they ended up exchanging a very sensual, greedy, tender kiss. All her doubts disappeared in that kiss.

"We'll make love when you're ready, Lorena," he said softly. "It's just… that I love touching you. You're the first person that… I really enjoy touching…"

There had been other women before. But none of them could compare with Lorena now. Not even Lily – which he had never touched, except for the occasional friendly hug.

"You're so gorgeous…" One of his fingers trailed one of her nipples. He leaned his head on her bosom, taking in her smell, enjoying caressing her with his fingertip.

Lorena caressed his hair, her fingers losing themselves in his soft locks. He let himself be petted sweetly by her for a few minutes, before taking a nipple with his mouth, his tongue stroking it in a very gentle touch. A bit of liquid came out of her nipple, which he collected quickly with the tip of his tongue.

"You taste so good, Lorena… I'd say… your milk is even better than your blood…"

"Severus… leave that to the baby… You can have all of me, except that… Don't do that to me, please."

He raised his head to look at her. She had a dreamy smile on her lips. She looked like a Madonna of the ancient times. He gathered what she meant : his caress could express milk from her.

"I won't do it anymore – that is, as long as you breastfeed, love," he said softly. "You're right. This is for our son. However… you're so beautiful !"

Lorena giggled weakly. "You should sleep, Lorena. You're exhausted and Poppy will have my hide if I keep you up. And so will the Healer."

"Stay with me, Severus," she begged him. "You may just rest on me like you did, that was really enjoyable to have you so close to me."

The Potions Master gave in and leaned onto her warm, welcoming chest. He just closed his eyes, listening to her heart beating, her bosom rising to her breathing, wishing this moment to be forever.

They were interrupted by Healer Fergusson and Poppy with an asleep infant in her arms. The Hogwarts medi-witch gave him the child, showing him how to hold it in his arms. The baby looked so tiny compared to him. Severus marveled at the notion that one day, his son may be as tall as he was himself now, that he had himself been like that in his own mother's arms. Yet, he was sure that he had never been in his own father's arms. He remembered an argument between his parents – he was seven or eight – during which Eileen had told Tobias that he should show his boy a bit of closeness. Tobias had replied that he had never taken his son in his arms, he would not start now… Little Severus had felt strange then. Now, the memory stung him sharply but he managed to chase it away. No, he would not be like his father. He was not like his father – he held his son in his arms… and he enjoyed that a lot.

Alan was still asleep in his father's arms when Severus put it besides Lorena, in her bed. The young witch made herself comfortable for her son and Severus brought back the covers over them both.

"Sleep well, Lorena," he said while kissing his wife on her forehead. He stroked his son's cheek with the back of his fingers, a smile on his lips. Then he let them rest. He checked his pocket watch – about four o'clock in the afternoon. He sighed out of contentment. For sure, this had been one of the happiest days in his life – among the very few he had had so far.

* * *

_**Welcome Alan Severus Snape !**_

_**I support as natural as possible childbirths, whether at home or in birthing facilities, as well as breastfeeding.**_

**Sectumcordia**_** is of the same stock as **_**Sectumsempra**_**. Maybe Severus had heard of the procedure to cut the umbilical cord, before he invented his infamous Dark spell. I don't think so though as he looked and sounded genuinely surprised by the spell he is required to cast. Maybe a mere coincidence – though I don't believe in coincidences. The other way round is not possible as **_**Sectumsempra**_** was kept a secret by its inventor himself – before he taught it to Lorena.**_

_**It's also to show that a same thing or acti**__**on is most of the time two- or multi-sided. Only the intention makes the difference.**_

_**Also, all the memories and images from his childhood coming back to the surface – to be vanquished by the power of love.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! Babies need to be fed and so do the muses… then you know what to do, eh ?**_


	126. The right choice

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**126 – ****The right choice**

Lorena had received the visit of only three people, besides her husband, while she was at the Hospital Wing. Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall and Draco Malfoy. She had wondered whether Alastor Moody would come and see her and Alan, but he did not show up. She could not know that Albus had told him, like to the rest of the staff, that she had miscarried… He did not know the truth.

Albus congratulated her while Minerva was ecstatic over her son. It had been also decided that Lorena would give her child to Molly Weasley a few hours before going to the Shrieking Shack. The young witch had already met the motherly Weasley matriarch. She was sure her son would be in good hands. Molly would take good care of her boy. Yet, it promised to be painful. Lorena chose not to think about it now. She wanted to enjoy her son as much as possible before that dreadful moment.

Draco had rushed to see her after he had been told by Severus he had been chosen to be Alan's godfather. He had been literally floored by the news. He had accepted it gladly. The younger man swore to his godfather that he would do everything he could to protect the baby boy. After all, Severus had been like a father to him, a second father when Lucius had not been present – or that much understanding.

Albus had explained to Severus the little conversation he had had with Draco Malfoy. The young man was the only student to know the truth. Severus had been surprised that the Headmaster had requested that Draco take a Wizard's Oath with him to secure his silence. He had not dared do so himself but was glad Dumbledore had eventually.

Both Severus and Draco had also talked together about the conversation the young man had had with the Headmaster. Once again Draco promised to Severus and Lorena he would not betray their secret. He explained to Lorena and Severus that he had made a Wizard's Oath with Dumbledore – on his own suggestion.

_Well, that's less worse than an Unbreakable Vow_, Severus thought. He had not dared do so while Dumbledore had had no scruples whatsoever in doing so. _Like he had had none with me when he made me take my first Unbreakable Vow with him against Lily's protection…_ he thought bitterly. That Vow was still active. Albus Dumbledore could still ask him to do _anything_ for him.

And _anything_ was just what Severus would do this time again.

* * *

Lorena went out the Hospital Wing two days later. Of course, she did not come back to her dorm in Slytherin. Severus had arranged for her belongings and trunk to be moved to his own quarters, where she would live with him from now on, away from other people's scrutiny.

Dumbledore had agreed. Nobody should know that the child Lorena had given birth to was alive and well. The Potions Master's private quarters were the safest place in Hogwarts for her and Alan to be for the time being. She would not resume her schooling either. At least, not for the time being. Time for her to rest and get ready for the upcoming confrontation with the Dark Lord on Beltaine.

The two professors decided the student body, in particular Slytherin, would be told that Lorena had lost her baby further to a miscarriage – a story to be reported to the Dark Lord too. Which led to a difficult question : Was it wise to inform Voldemort of this, while they were so close to Beltaine ? Severus was rather reluctant to tell the Dark Lord about this – this time he may not come back alive. For sure, he would be in for a rough time with Cruciatus Curses and the like.

"You have to tell him. Tom believes you are so well informed. Besides, he won't buy that you didn't know while Lorena is a Slytherin, a student placed under your responsibility."

Severus knew the old man was right. Yet, he would be the one to endure torture from his Master. Albus suggested him that he should explain to Voldemort that the ritual could still be done, even without the baby, with a variation.

"If Tom is given another option that may succeed, that should alleviate your punishment, my boy."

"How delicately you can say these things, Albus…" the Potions Master sneered. "It's not you who will be at the receiving end of his wand !"

"True, my son. Though I think he's intelligent enough to accept that accidents may happen to young pregnant women, that pregnancies do not always end up as happy family events, and that your solution is still interesting." A pause. "Unless you prefer to be at the receiving end of his wand for an _Avada Kedavra_ in the Shrieking Shack, on Beltaine, when he suddenly discovers how flat Lorena's belly is ? I'm sure he would even less forgive you for NOT having informed him of this."

Severus took a deep breath. The Headmaster was right. Besides, he had already reported bad news to the Dark Lord without suffering too much. His Master was not always understanding but he was not stupid.

"Alright. I'll go and see him tonight."

"Thank you, Severus. I'm sure everything will be fine."

Severus wanted to be at least half as sure as Dumbledore about this…

* * *

Of course, Voldemort had been in a rage when he had learned that the blind, filthy Mudblood he had raped on Halloween, had lost his child. In a stupid accident involving stairs in the castle. The girl had fainted and fell from the top of the main staircase. She had rolled along the whole flight of stairs. When she had arrived at the bottom of it, of course, her womb had been badly bruised. Her child had not survived and had had to be extracted with a C-section.

"Severus ! What have you been ordered to regarding the girl ?"

Severus was kneeling in front of his Master, waiting for the final curse to blow out his very life. "You had ordered me to watch over her. As it so happened, I was in my classroom, with other students, when this unfortunate accident occurred."

He did not go on – he knew that excuses were just useless with Voldemort. He just thought about Lorena's love for him and how strong he loved her too. At least, he had seen his son.

"_CRUCIO_ !"

That was expected. Severus felt all his Master's anger and frustration in the spell. He endured the brunt of the curse with courage and fortitude – as usual. He just focused on his Occlumency. Keeping his mental shields was the only thing that mattered now.

"Look at me, Severus," he heard his Master say after the pain subsided.

There was still some hope after all. Otherwise, Voldemort would have already blown him up to smithereens. Severus locked his gaze with his Master's confidently, offering him images of a Dumbledore explaining to him what had happened to one of his Slytherin students. The Dark Lord also saw images of the Hospital Wing, then St. Mungo, the face of the girl on her hospital bed, pale and bruised.

He also saw Severus reading Dark Arts books, searching for variations for the ritual, that would not require an infant. After all, the girl was still alive. He left Severus' mind.

"I believe you have something else to tell me, Severus."

"Yes, Master. As soon as I learned about the girl's accident, I suspected what the outcome might be. So I searched for a variation of the ritual, so that you may still perform something on the girl that would transfer her powers to you, even without the child."

Voldemort smirked. _Trust Severus' intelligence, determination and resourcefulness to sort out a problem._ Well, this was probably the only thing he may ever trust in anyone. And not anyone. He had the most formidable Potions Master of Britain and a renowned Dark Arts expert at his beck and call. Besides, he needed him. With the final battle coming closer and closer, now was not the time to waste him. If he had to kill him, he would do so after the victory had been secured. Though Severus had always served him faithfully and diligently. If he had to prune the Death-Eaters' ranks, there would be others to kill before getting to his Potions Master.

"Rise, Severus, and tell me about your findings." He led his Potions Master to a room where they could talk together quietly and lay their future plans for the battle.

Severus released his breath silently. He knew he would survive to see the next day. He thought about his little family. _I don't want to do this anymore._ He suddenly wished to be on Beltaine. _The faster we get over this, the better._

Well, Beltaine was in one week's time only.

The funniest part of the whole thing was that Severus did not need to spy anymore after all, if all he had to do was to tell the Dark Lord what had to be done. He hid his feelings carefully, of course. But he could not help thinking about the irony : the Order was to fight against a plan of action set up by its very Head.

* * *

Severus came back to his quarters later that night. Lorena had waited for him, sitting in the sofa. She knew that this time, he had endured all this for her sake, their son's sake. After all, he could just have taken her and Alan himself to the Shrieking Shack on Beltaine's eve. Besides, that would have spared Draco Malfoy from doing so.

But he had not. He had left her in his quarters, letting her giving him the protection of her love. A protection that had been effective each time he had been Cruciated. Severus knew he could endure a lot of pain in the name of love – the love he had felt for Lily, despite the fact that she was dead. He had discovered that he could endure even more in the name of love, a love he felt for a living woman – Lorena. And now, their son.

She had taken care of him when he came back later that night. He scolded her for waiting for him but she would not hear any of this. She would be here for him, standing by her man. They ended up in bed, her son on one side of her, her husband on the other side, both of them closely coiled against her body. Severus felt better at once when he saw her breastfeed their son. He caressed her gently, happy to feel her, merely grateful to be alive to see them both again.

* * *

Severus had also decided – with Dumbledore – that his son's birth would be dealt with in the same manner than his marriage to Lorena had been, as far as the Ministry of Magic was concerned. Under the seal of secrecy. He had filled in the paperwork, declaring that the male boy born in Hogwarts on April 21st, at 14 h 35, named Alan Severus, was indeed the son of Severus Tobias Snape and Lorena Lady Snape, née Nottingham.

In the same fashion than for their marriage certificate, the child's birth certificate was retrieved by a member of the Order of the Phoenix that worked at the Ministry of Magic, at the Registrar. The wizard intercepted the certificate and filed it quickly himself, before it could be spotted by anybody else. Given the short time between the boy's birth and the impending battle, there was no point in smuggling it out of the Ministry. Should the outcome be favorable for Lord Voldemort, the said wizard had to smuggle the boy's certificate out to the Order Headquarters pending further decision as to the boy's future. For sure, if Alan's parents died and Voldemort won, the boy would be chased down for his own powers. The Dark Lord would take no risk in letting alive a boy that could be more powerful than him in the future.

Then Dumbledore showed Severus a room in the castle, adjacent to his office, that no other teacher had ever entered. Only Headmasters and their Deputies could access the room in question.

"Let me show you something, my boy," Albus had told his Potions Master, a hand on his shoulder. "Come with me. Just promise me you won't say a word about what you're going to see, except to Lorena, provided she remains silent too."

He led him inside the room. The walls were covered with rows of books from top to bottom. They were not books exactly – they bore only digits on the spine. Years. In the middle of the room, on a table, a quill was scribbling on a parchment.

Severus gathered at once what the room was. "Albus !"

"Yes, my son. The room where all magical births in the British Isles are registered for future enrolment at Hogwarts."

The younger wizard knew at once where the Headmaster wanted to tell him. "I'm sure you already know that your child is magical, Severus. Yet, here is the confirmation. Come closer."

They both approached the parchment and the magical quill. At the present time, the quill was resting besides the parchment.

"Here he is," Albus said softly. His fingers pointed a name written at the bottom of the list. There had been no other magical births since that one.

"_Snape, Alan Severus. Born April 21st, 1993. Half-blood_," Severus read aloud.

Both men exchanged a glance that said it all. "What if this falls into the hands of the Dark Lord ?"

"It can't. Only Headmasters and their Deputies can enter that room."

"You make me enter it. The Dark Lord could enter it with you."

Albus burst out in laughter. Severus was not amused. "Over my dead body, my son. Over my dead body."

"Then once you're dead, Albus, he'll just have to name another Headmaster. A Headmaster that will make him enter that room."

"True. But what if that Headmaster is you ?" A pause. "Which is most likely to occur should Tom win that war. Which he has not yet."

Severus' gaze fell on the parchment. "Is there a way to… hide this ?"

Albus' steely blue eyes became compassionate suddenly. "No, my son. There's no way we can do this. The magical quill is a very ancient magical artifact, most likely as old as the Sorting Hat itself. However, as you know it already, each Headmaster and Headmistress of Hogwarts, along with their Deputies, are tied up to the castle's magic. This room even more. I can ask the castle to reinforce this spell so that nobody but the Headmasters and their Deputies can enter this room provided they are not accompanied by anybody else."

"That way, not even the Dark Lord could enter the room. Even if I, for example, invited him to do so, as Headmaster."

"Exactly."

"What if he appoints someone else ? Like Lucius Malfoy ? He's a member of the Board after all."

"I doubt it highly but that's possible indeed. That's a risk we have to take, Severus. Besides, from what I understood from Tom's propaganda about pureblood supremacy, only pureblood children would be admitted to attend Hogwarts. Therefore, the magical quill and this whole room would never be used again. It won't prevent the magical quill from doing its job, but nobody would enter the room to check on it. Remember it's a magical implement designed to detect ALL magical births in our area. Not pureblood births only. Something's telling me that should Tom win that war and set up a pureblood supremacist government, the issue of recording pureblood magical births would be dealt with at the Ministry of Magic directly, not here at Hogwarts, don't you think ?"

There was the usual twinkle in his eyes. Though Severus did not find the situation at hand particularly funny, he understood why the Headmaster felt the way he felt. That was logical.

"All I'm saying is, Severus, there's no ground to be concerned about this," he whispered while his index showed the parchment and the magical quill. "Your son's safe. The only thing we may be concerned about is if he'd be able to attend Hogwarts in about 11 years' time. Many things may change in that much time, including governments. Especially governments," the older wizard concluded with mirth in his blues eyes.

"Why did you show me this, Albus ?"

"I want you to know that your son is indeed magical. That whatever may happen by Beltaine, you know this, and so does Lorena."

"I already know what I'm fighting for."

"I've got no doubt on that, Severus. It's just that I want you to know that there's still hope. Trust me, like I trust you. Trust me when I say that you're feared and Tom fears Lorena's powers as much as he wants them. But your son… Alan is supposed to be dead by now. But think of it : should the boy be alive – which he is - Tom has every reason to fear him already much more than yours and Lorena's powers combined, because that child is you both combined, magically and humanly. Not only he's a heir of Slytherin but he has something Tom never had : he's protected by his parents' love. A protection that now runs high in his blood. Never forget that."

"What do you know of the future ? What that old hag Trelawney must have told you about my son ?"

Albus laughed. "Severus ! Come on, don't speak like that about that good old Sybill ! She is what she is but let's face it, sometimes she's right on. And no, she said nothing about you, Lorena or your son. She just told me that the boy would be sorted into Slytherin."

"There's no need to be a Seer to predict that. I do expect my son to be sorted into Slytherin anyway," Severus grumbled. "Or else."

Albus put a hand on his Potions Master's shoulder, in an affectionate gesture. "Sometimes, I think we sort too soon…"

* * *

Beltaine's eve arrived very quickly. Too much quickly in Severus' and Lorena's opinion. The days before had been blissful. Severus resented the fact that he had to let go of happiness. A happiness that had been so hard to find, that was now taken away from him just after he had found it. It was unfair but he knew that life was unfair. It had always been particularly so with him, so that was nothing new to him in this regard.

Early that afternoon, Molly Weasley came to Hogwarts via Floo, stepping directly into Severus' office. Lorena was waiting for her as she had been told about her visit. She had prepared the baby's belongings and expressed all the milk she could to last about 24 hours. She held her son against herself closely, as if she did not want to let him go.

_Of course, she doesn't want,_ Severus thought. _But she has to. For our son's sake._ More than anybody else, he knew the value of renouncing to the most precious things, to people one may hold dear. This was one of these moments.

Lorena had already met Molly before. She knew the Weasley matriarch would take good care of her son. The older witch took Alan in her arms and began cooing over him. The little boy was attentive to the new person, his dark blue eyes observant.

"Severus, he'll have your eyes for sure," Molly commented. "He won't keep his dark blue eyes for very long. Oh, what a nice little boy ! Alan, Alan…" she called him sweetly.

"I think our son just broke someone's heart," Severus commented to Lorena. He held her close to him, he knew the minutes to come would be difficult for Lorena.

Molly glanced at the couple. She smiled at them tenderly. But inside herself, she hoped they would make it alive. She came closer to the younger witch. She understood her disarray. She could not imagine herself being separated from her children when they were so young.

"Lorena, I promise you I'll take real good care of him. Don't worry. Your little boy's going to meet his grandfather. We'll stay in 12 Grimmauld Place. Arthur is at the Ministry but he asked me to go to Sirius' house with our last child, to be on the safe side. Your little boy won't be alone. We'll be so happy to take care of him."

"I know that I can trust you, Mrs Weasley, that Alan will be safe with you." Lorena thought about her father. "One thing please, do not tell my father that Alan's father is Severus."

"If you ask me not to, I won't then."

"We'll tell him after all this," Lorena went on. "And if we don't make it, then, Professor Dumbledore will explain everything to him."

"So if your father asks me what his family name is, I'll say…"

"… nothing. You don't know."

"And in reality ?"

Lorena remained silent. Severus spoke then. "Snape is his name." In front of Molly's surprised look, he added : "We married secretly last month, one month before Alan's birth."

"Oh, Severus, that's great news ! Alright, not a word about this either, don't you worry. It's just Alan for me anyway. Though I'm sure my daughter Ginny will be more than happy to find him nice nicknames for that cute little boy of yours."

She tried to sound lighthearted. Severus had to admit that her efforts were laudable. He took his son from the older witch's arms and pressed him against himself. He kissed him on the head, smelling his son's baby odor, closing his eyes as if to keep the memory of him. Molly was moved – she had never seen that side of Severus. She knew he could be caring and attentive. But to that extent ? With a woman ? With a child ?

Severus put Alan in his mother's arms for her to kiss him goodbye a last time. The young witch did her best not to cry. She kissed her son, her hands roaming sweetly over her son's face, taking his tiny hand in hers. She printed his features in her memory. She pressed him against her body. Her eyes were closed. Severus was watching her. He knew what she was doing. She was giving her son all the protection a mother's love could give.

The separation was heart-wrenching. It was difficult for Lorena to let go of her baby so early. She could not give him to Molly. Severus had to take the child from her arms, triggering off a shriek. He had never heard her cry – she was silent usually. But this time, it was probably too much for her and she let go a sob. He quickly put the baby into Molly's arms before taking Lorena between his own. His gaze silently ordered Molly to leave the place at once. The older witch nodded and stepped in the office besides, where the grate was connected to the Floo network.

Lorena fought briefly against Severus but he was stronger than her and managed to control her easily. He pressed her against his chest, trying to soothe her soul from the separation. Her fists grasped his arms and she just let it go. For the first time in her life, she let out a wail. Severus let her do, he just held her tight against him in a tender, reassuring gesture. He knew it would take a bit of time for her to pick herself up.

"You had the choice and you made the right choice, Lorena." His voice managed to calm her down eventually. They sat together on the sofa. He caressed her hair, her cheeks, her shoulders. She kept on crying silently this time. For sure, he hated seeing her like that.

Their child would be protected by their love as parents – whatever the future may have in stock for them both. Because it had been a choice to leave him in someone else's care – a choice dictated by love. Deep down himself, Severus knew that they had both made the right decision. A very difficult decision but the right one. He knew all too well that the value of sacrifice was in direct relation with choice. And so was the protection they had just given to their son.

* * *

_**The issue of choice/sacrifice in the Harry Potter series : here's my theory.**_

_**In **_**Deathly Hallows**_**, in the **_**"Prince's Tale"**_** chapter, we learn in the memories left by Severus that he had asked Voldemort to get Lily. To which Dumbledore replied to the young man then : "You disgust me !"**_

_**Yet, thinking of it, if Severus had not asked this to his Master (with all the risks that may suppose), Voldemort would have never asked Lily to choose between staying alive & let her son die, or just die. It is the choice made by Lily that conditioned the sacrifice she made out of love, which in turn provided the ultimate protection for Harry. After all, Voldemort could have just killed Lily, like he had had killed James a few minutes earlier, without asking her anything, and then his Killing Curse onto Harry would have never backfired on him. **_

_**So if Severus, out of love, had never asked Voldemort to spare Lily, she would not have been left any choice, there would have been no sacrifice made out of love. Lily would have just died like her husband, and so would have her son shortly after. The loop is looped. The story begins with love and ends with it.**_

_**Without Severus and his request – itself prompted out of his love for her – no story at all. That only makes Severus the most important character in the HP saga, just behind Harry himself. Even more important than Ron, Hermione or Albus. I don't say this because Severus is my favorite character but because of the theory stated above.**_

_**A sacrifice is always a matter of choice made out of love, the by-product of both. Otherwise, it is not a sacrifice – just bleeding, real or figurative. Martyr history, whether religious or not, is full of examples. I wanted to use that notion here, in the context of my story, exposing the protection of love extended to Alan, because Lorena, his mother, has made a choice, a decision, a sacrifice, out of love. Hence the title of this chapter : the right choice.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	127. Of love and blood

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**127 – ****Of love and blood**

Severus and Lorena had remained in each other's arms for long minutes after Molly Weasley had left by Floo, with their son in her arms. The Potions Master did his best to comfort his young wife. He felt really unhappy too. Yet, he knew it could not be done otherwise. They had done their duty as parents. Ensuring their son would live, even if they may not survive themselves.

The day before, Severus and Albus had explained to Lorena what kind of ritual would take place. The Headmaster thought an ignorant young woman could be a danger first to herself, then to others. The whole process was frightening but he trusted her maturity to understand.

She did understand. Albus advised her to rely on her elemental magic totally. She would have no wand with her. He also told her about love as a protection, the most powerful protection ever. She knew that already and wondered why the old wizard told her this again. Yet, she did not ask him why he had reminded her of something so obvious for her.

Severus would leave his quarters before her as the Dark Lord had instructed him to go to the Shrieking Shack two hours before the sun set. Draco would collect Lorena at sun set to bring her there. Albus had provided for the castle's magic to allow Draco to Apparate with Lorena directly from Severus' quarters. Narcissa would be present in the Shrieking Shack already.

Lorena had asked only one question : "Will Nagini be there ? The Dark Lord's Queen Cobra ?" There was reverence in her voice when mentioning the snake.

Albus and Severus had glanced at each other. "Yes, surely, that blasted snake will be there. It doesn't leave the Dark Lord's presence anymore these days," Severus had replied. "Why do you ask ?"

Lorena could not reply for the life of her. "Just... just a hunch." A pause. "Severus… please… take a bezoar with you !"

The Potions Master looked at her, puzzlement on his face for a few seconds. He was about to dismiss her statement but eventually refrained from doing so. She was right – she may not have said why but her advice made sense. Severus had never trusted his Master's familiar. He would not start doing so now.

"Please, Severus, tell me you will !"

Severus read all the adoration his young wife had for him in her empty eyes, all the concern written over her face. He took her hands in his to reassure her. "I will, Lorena, I promise you I will. I'll add a bezoar to the rest of the potions I usually take with me when meeting the Dark Lord." He did not need to add that this time, he would carry a portable set of potions intended for the ritual. He would put a bezoar in his frock coat pocket.

She closed her eyes for a few seconds, relieved. In herself, she swore she would take one with her too.

"A wise precaution indeed, Severus," Albus agreed.

* * *

On that day, Dumbledore had reviewed the plans to defend Hogwarts with the rest of his staff. He had set up the whole thing like a general leading an army to combat. Severus would be away in the Shrieking Shack. The three other Heads of House would not lead their own House students. They were each assigned a role. Above age students would be authorized to fight in teams, all Houses mixed up.

There was also the issue of the Death-Eaters' children. The list had been compiled by Severus - they were to be locked up in the Room of Requirement, along with the underage students. Ms Pince, Sybill Trelawney and Aurora Sinistra would keep the students there safe and under close scrutiny for those suspected of possible loyalty for Voldemort. Ms Pomfrey would make sure her Hospital Wing would be ready to welcome the wounded.

Minerva and Filius would lead each a group of above age students, Hogsmeade residents, parents wishing to defend their former alma mater, dispatched in particular areas of the castle. Kingsley, Remus and Tonks would each lead a team of a few Aurors and other adult wizards and witches from Hogsmeade, as well as parents, also dispatched in other areas of the castle and the grounds. Dumbledore had left the Ministry of Magic to deal with the Death-Eaters on their own – he had a school to defend. He was confident enough that the Aurors remaining there would be enough to defend their turf. He wanted the Order of the Phoenix members to fight at Hogwarts.

Hagrid would coordinate the Forbidden Forest inhabitants willing to join the fight against Voldemort – they would be in charge of securing the grounds and prevent the Death-Eaters from escaping through the Forbidden Forest. They would have to fight and/or control the werewolves that may fight on Voldemort's side too.

As for Dumbledore, he had decided to come to fight Voldemort himself, nearby the Shrieking Shack. The old wizard had decided that he had to finish off the Dark Lord once and for all – like he had done all those years ago with Gellert Grindelwald.

Alastor Moody would come to assist him and finish the task if things had to turn out badly for the Headmaster, and above all, make sure that other occupants in the Shrieking Shack, that is, Severus, Lorena, Draco and Narcissa, could be rescued if necessary. Moody suspected that his old friend may not be able to insure the defeat of the Dark Lord on his own – he was all the more reassured to know Albus Dumbledore would not be alone.

Besides, Moody knew that Lorena would be there. Lorena he could not resolve to abandon to the horrendous fate promised to her by Voldemort. Even if he knew that Snape would be there to protect her, he did not trust him fully. Basically, the young witch would be alone there, in the middle of a Death-Eaters' nest, surrounded by the wife of a Death-Eater, the son of a Death-Eater, the Dark Lord's Death-Eater spy and of course, Voldemort himself. A lot to handle for a young, blind witch.

Of course, he knew nothing about Lorena's and Severus' marriage. Like the others, he had been told by Dumbledore that the girl had miscarried and her boy had died in the process… He had not been authorized to visit her in the Hospital Wing – for obvious reasons. Only Dumbledore, Minerva, Draco, Poppy, and the midwife Healer knew the truth about the boy's actual birth.

Alastor had been sad over the loss of the baby. Yet, he thought that was for the better. After all, Snape may be hit by a curse… even from his own side.

Of course, Severus and Lorena did not know about Albus' parts for himself and Alastor Moody in the upcoming battle. That had to remain secret in case the Dark Lord used Legilimency on them both. Though they were both highly-skilled Occlumens, Dumbledore preferred them not to know. As per his usual tactics, the Headmaster had kept his many secrets from each member of the Order.

Severus left Lorena. This was the second soul-shattering separation of the day. But Lorena knew she had to be courageous. She kissed her husband a last time, giving him the Snape medallion that had protected him so many times. Severus wanted to refuse it, arguing it would protect her instead, that he had her love to protect him and that was enough indeed. But she insisted so much, she was so much upset already that he gave in. He did not wish to aggravate her anxiety.

Thinking of it, any extra soothing help was welcome. Severus would have to go back to a place that had left him with very bad memories. Even after all these years, the Shrieking Shack still meant one of his worst frights. He had been only 13 when Sirius Black had lured him there to quench his curiosity about Remus Lupin. Save that what had begun like a prank, had almost ended in tragedy. Remus was in the Shack – in his werewolf form. Severus owed his life to the last-minute intervention from James Potter – his other nemesis. That had not improved the relations between Severus and the Marauders.

And now, he had to come back to _that_ place, that would revive memories twenty years old or so but still vivid in his mind. For a sacrifice. Maybe he was bound to die in that place after all, one way or the other… He had a bad feeling about the building. In twenty years or so, he had never come back there.

Draco has already arrived. Severus entrusted his wife to the younger wizard, instructing him that he should take real good care of her whatever happened. There was something ominous in his words that the young man could not help find disturbing. He nodded.

Severus Apparated to the Shrieking Shack – and to his fate.

* * *

Lorena and Draco had to leave later, just before sunset. They were both nervous and they remained silent, sitting on the sofa, hugging each other like brother and sister. Lorena could feel he was scared, as much as she was. When Draco asked where his godson was, Lorena explained to him that she had been forbidden to reveal that detail, even to him. He did not insist, gathering that this had been done in order to protect the newborn child. He was a fairly good Occlumens but they could not take the risk of the Dark Lord using Legilimency on him either.

"Draco, just a hunch but could you get us three bezoars ?"

"What for ? I mean, what do you suspect ?"

"The Dark Lord's snake, Nagini, will be there. Please, bring me three of these stones."

The young man deemed the precaution made sense. "Alright. I'll think I know where they are in his office. I'll be right back."

He came back a few minutes later, with three little stones. Lorena gave him one, which he pocketed hastily.

Still following a strong insight, she rose from the sofa and went to her bedroom. There, she opened her trunk and retrieved a wand. Her grandmother's wand. The Amaranth wand with powerful healing qualities. She slid the bezoar in her knickers waistband, on her hip. She also removed her garments to keep her long white undershirt on only. She put on her school robe over. In the inside pocket, she put the last bezoar. She came back to the sitting-room, where Draco was waiting for her.

"Draco, do me a favor, please. Take these with you." She handed him over the two wands she had in her hand.

"Whose wands are these ?"

"The black one, the Ebony, is mine. The other one…" She did not know that Draco already knew the truth about her family. She decided to spin him a yarn. "The other one is mine too. It's a wand designed to heal. I've always wanted to become a Healer myself, you know. It's Amaranth or Purple Wood – a very powerful healing wand." She handed them over to him. "You're not supposed to bring me to the Shrieking Shack with a wand in my hand. You'll impress the Dark Lord if you tell him you Disarmed me first. Take them with you, we may need them. Please."

Draco watched her with attention. He knew she had made up a little story. _She doesn't know I know about her ancestry ! I would not be surprised if that Amaranth wand had belonged to her grandmother or another ancestor of hers. Maybe that Malfoy great-grandmother ?_

"No problem," he said while putting the two wands inside his robes wand pocket. He would carry his own Hawthorn wand in his hand anyway.

Then the moment arrived to leave. "Are you ready ?" he asked her gently. She nodded and took a deep breath.

"Good luck, Draco."

"Yes, good luck to you, Lorena," he said while hugging her close against him. "Good luck to us all." Then he cast the Apparition spell on them both and they disappeared – to their destiny.

* * *

They Apparated about a hundred yards away from the Shrieking Shack. Lorena could smell flowers and grass around. Her feet in her shoes felt the hard soil of the dirt track leading to the Shack. The day had been sunny and there was a lovely feeling of Spring invading her soul. The sun was about to set.

_What a __lovely day today to die…_

"I suppose we're not very far from the Shack," she whispered.

"No, we're not." She could hear in his voice that Draco felt no better than she did at the present time.

"I suggest you should tie me, Draco."

"Yes, you're right." He turned his back to the Shack, so that nobody could see them from there. He had the weird feeling they were watched. "I'm under the impression someone's watching us."

"You may be right. Draco, trust your instincts, your intuition."

He wondered why she told him so. Yet, he knew she could perceive things that people with their both eyes could not. "I will, Mudblood."

The expletive made her smile faintly. "That's the spirit," she said while raising her wrists for him to bind her. He secured the binding around her wrists with magical ties and took her arm to drag her on towards the Shrieking Shack.

She could feel his anxiety. "Occlude your mind, Draco. I should not feel anything from you. If I can, then so can the Dark Lord."

She hoped he would not make a mess of himself by breaking down. Now was not the time. Though she had to admit this was particularly stressful a situation. She had a last thought for Severus that had endured this for so many years. Compassion for him rose in her chest – which she banished to the farthest recess of her mind.

"Yes, Mudblood. Aren't you fed up to be right all the time ?"

"Just a way to encourage you and wish you good luck. A last thing, Draco, focus on your sense of friendship and loyalty to those you love. For your own sake."

He said nothing, puzzled by her words, and squeezed her arm only. Then she felt nothing more from him. He had Occluded his mind and she felt relieved he had done so. Yes, he would follow her advice. Her advice had never failed him after all.

* * *

In the Shack, upstairs, Voldemort was fidgeting with his own wand. "I hope, Narcissa, that your son will be on time ! With the Mudblood !" he said nervously. "He'd better be !"

The blond woman kept her eyes lowered. "He will, my Lord. Malfoys have but one word." _Malfoys stick together._ Her voice was devoid of any emotion. She was not as good an Occlumens as her sister but years spent in the midst of the Dark Lord and Death-Eaters had made her careful and honed her Occlumency skills over time. She knew it paid to pay attention. She turned herself to the window, searching the track to the Shack from Hogsmeade for her boy. The sun was setting, which made spotting her son and the girl more difficult.

Narcissa also could hear Severus in the background preparing the stuff needed for the ritual. She had felt downright relieved to see him there. She knew that with Severus around, there was still some hope to get out this madness alive if not unscathed. They had not exchanged a glance or a word, except for a neutral, formal greeting. He behaved as usual when in presence of his Master, in full Death-Eater mode.

Nagini, the Dark Lord's familiar, was coiled nearby the grate where a gentle fire was burning. Narcissa did not like it and she remained away from the giant snake as a precaution. The farther away, the better, in her opinion.

Yet Nagini was not the most unbearable creature in the Shack now according to her. Narcissa had noticed the presence of Wormtail too. How the Dark Lord could tolerate that vermin, traitor to his friends, mediocre wizard, filthy and rat-like, was beyond her. Surely he was useful to the Dark Lord. _We're all useful to him. We're just pawns in his game against Dumbledore, to seize power and keep it. We're just his tools. _She did not trust most of the Death-Eaters, and even less Wormtail, a.k.a. Peter Pettigrew. Not because he was a Gryffindor. Just because he had betrayed his best friends, the Potters, leading them to a sure death. The parents and their son – a boy that would be as old as Draco now – had been killed by Voldemort himself during a raid on their house, on a tip provided by Wormtail. The Potters had made him their Secret Keeper – for their greatest misfortune. All these years later, the event still revolted her.

She thought about her son. Her beloved, only son. He was a tool, a pawn too. She took a deep breath and kept on her silent vigil at the window. Then she spotted something pale that moved along the path. Two people walking towards the Shack. She waited for an extra minute or two, to make sure these were Draco and Lorena. The Dark Lord was nervous, no need to disappoint him and endure his wrath. She watched again carefully. Her lips trembled a bit when she recognized the blond hair of her son.

She took a deep breath and turned herself to Voldemort. She bowed in front of him, her eyes not meeting his. "My Lord, my son's coming. He's with the girl."

"Good, Narcissa. It would have been a pity to damage that lovely face of yours if your son had not kept his word, as a Malfoy," he sneered.

Narcissa knew better. She remained in control of herself, motionless, her eyes still lowered. She just hoped that he would not damage her son's face.

"Go and meet them downstairs," he ordered. "Lead them here, to me."

She bowed again and made her way downstairs to meet her son and Lorena. She put a hand on his cheek in a tender gesture. Draco welcomed his mother's gesture as something comforting. Then she turned to Lorena. The girl was calm.

"The Dark Lord is upstairs. Be careful, he's very nervous," she warned the pair in a breath.

She turned her heels inside the building without another word. Draco dragged Lorena a bit roughly – part of his act. Lorena said nothing and complied. They entered the large room upstairs. The place was bare, no furniture, except for a table, most likely conjured up as it looked in a good shape compared to the rest of the room. The wooden floor was battered. Torn curtains hanged around the windows. Glasses were shattered on some of them. The whole place conveyed a deep feeling of sadness, abandon and neglect.

Of course, Lorena could see none of this. She heard a fire cracking in the grate, someone working nearby. Footsteps coming towards her. She felt Draco pulling her down to her feet, bowing himself.

"My Lord…" he began, pushing her further down to the ground.

Lorena found herself falling on her knees. _He_ was there. The Dark Lord. She could feel his ominous presence. She Occluded her mind tightly.

"Well, well, young Draco…" the man hissed. "You did well. You shall be rewarded. When tonight, victory is achieved, you'll receive the Dark Mark."

"Yes, my Lord," the boy replied in a whisper. How would he get away from such a predicament ? For a second or two, Draco hated his father that had entangled him and his mother in that mess.

"You tied her up, Draco. Good thinking. Yet, now in my presence, she won't need this." He flicked his hand with an elegant movement of his wrist. The magical ties around the young witch's wrists disappeared.

Lorena felt pulled up by her arms. It was the same contact, cold. His fingers were cold, despite the warm temperature in the room. She hid her repulsion and fear as best as she could.

"You remember me, Mudblood, on Halloween," he spoke to her softly.

She kept her self-control. "Yes, my Lord."

"Pity that you lost that child. Severus informed me that you miscarried further to a fall."

"Yes, my Lord." Lorena knew it was useless to apologize. She kept her eyes lowered.

"Look at me," he instructed her softly yet firmly.

She complied. She felt his intrusion into her mind. He could not see images but he had the clear sensation of her fall, the sound of terror that had escaped her lips, her moans of pain. He went out of her mind. "Fortunately for me, Mudblood, Severus here found a way for me to get your powers. Tonight's Beltaine !" he bellowed suddenly, much to Lorena's fright. "By this time, I shall be the most powerful wizard and Master of you all, and you, Mudblood…" He reverted to a softer tone, almost a whisper. "You… shall be dead."

The last sentence could have made her cower. Lorena remained unfazed, her empty pale gray eyes staring in the void. Voldemort's grin faded on his face, when he saw that she did not seem to be frightened.

"Narcissa !" he yelled. "Get her ready for the ritual. Make sure she has no weapons or wand on her ! Severus ! Get everything ready ! The sun is set. Let's start now !"

"Yes, Master," Severus replied flatly.

A hissing sound could be heard. Lorena understood that the Dark Lord was telling something to his snake in Parseltongue : _"Wake up !"_

Lorena felt Narcissa grab her arm and lead her away in another adjacent room. "Take my school robe with you, Mrs Malfoy. You may check, I wear nothing more than my shoes, my underwear and my shirt." Once she was sure they were alone : "There's a bezoar in my inside pocket, Mrs Malfoy. For you," she said in hushed tones. Narcissa checked the pocket and recognized the stone.

"Thank you," Narcissa said hastily – she put on the robe over her own garments, so that her hands could remain free. "Let me tie your hair !" She conjured up something to attach Lorena's mane of curly raven locks into something more practical. "Let me do," she said with a soothing tone. Lorena could perceive through their physical contact that Draco's mother was more than nervous, despite her efforts to hide it well. She could hear it in her voice too.

"Mrs Malfoy… focus on your mother's love," Lorena whispered enigmatically.

"What ?"

"Focus on your love as a mother."

For a second or two, Narcissa watched the girl, a puzzled look on her face. Then she retrieved her composure. She said nothing but squeezed her arm gently, in agreement.

"Is she ready ?" Voldemort's voice bellowed.

"We have to go," Narcissa whispered to Lorena. "Yes, my Lord." She checked the younger witch again. "Now come quick or the Dark Lord will get suspicious," she murmured. With these words, she dragged Lorena back into the main room.

Lorena's body soon met something that looked like a table.

"Get her up there !" Voldemort's voice ordered.

Narcissa helped her to sit and lay on the table. Then Lorena felt other hands touching her. Hands she recognized at once. Severus' hands. A feeling of quietness invaded her soul. The man she loved was here.

"You may begin, Severus."

"Yes, Master," came the blank reply.

Lorena heard a cling of metal. Severus had explained to her what would happen next. She could not help feeling anxious as to the next pain to come. But with Severus at her side, she would manage. She remembered the pains she had sustained when giving birth – it could not be worse.

"As I don't want magic to interfere with the ritual, I won't use magical ties on you, Mudblood. Narcissa ! Draco ! Hold her !"

Lorena heard footsteps. She felt someone grab her ankles firmly. Draco, by the touch of it. Then another person seized her shoulders. Narcissa – the hands were soft and feminine. She also felt Severus tearing her right shirt sleeve, freeing her arm up to her shoulder and letting it dangle in the void.

Then she felt him open her mouth and pour a liquid down her throat. _'Something to help you cope with the pain,'_ she heard him say in her mind, while they were still in physical contact. He was so caring. She could say nothing but sent him a powerful love wave.

"What's this, that you're giving her, Severus ?" Voldemort asked.

"A potion to enhance her blood flow, Master. That should help during the ritual by speeding up the process."

Voldemort nodded in agreement. "I can see you thought about everything, Severus."

"I'm here to serve you, Master, to the best of my abilities," the Potions Master replied humbly. Severus checked a last time that everything was alright. "She's ready, Master."

"Excellent. You may proceed." Mirth could be heard in his voice.

Severus took a silver dagger he used to slice and cut potion ingredients.

'_Don't hesitate, Severus,'_ the Potions Master heard in his mind when he took her arm in his hand. Her resolve surprised him, even more than hearing her words in his mind.

Lorena closed her eyes and braced herself for the pain to come.

He plunged the dagger into her arm, then traced a cut all along her limb. Lorena bit her lips to stifle her screams, squeezing shut her eyes to prevent her tears from escaping. Despite the pain-killing potion, it was hurting like hell. Only a moan escaped her throat though. Then the pain subsided, the potion kicking in at last. The only thing she could hear were the drops of her blood falling into a chalice placed adequately under her dangling arm.

* * *

_**Things are getting serious there… What kind of**__** blood ritual the Dark Lord is about to perform on Lorena ? How Draco, Narcissa and of course Severus will react ? **_

_**That's only the beginning of the action… so stay tuned. And leave reviews, okay ? You would not wish me to leave you hanging like this over the cliff, eh ?**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	128. Not without my daughter

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**128 – ****Not without my daughter**

Molly Weasley had not gone to the Order Headquarters at once. She had Flooed first to the Burrow, her home. She had a daughter to take with her too, besides taking away a few things for them three and securing the place.

Ginny was waiting for her quietly nearby the grate. Two bags were there besides her. Molly glanced at the timepiece in the kitchen. The hands corresponding to Percy, Fred and George showed they were at school. That was where they were supposed to be actually. The hands for Arthur, Bill and Charlie stated they were in transit. Hers and Ginny's indicated they were at home.

Molly sighed. She hoped she would come back home shortly, as if nothing had happened. It would mean victory and victory meant normalcy – even if she was well aware that things would never be like before. War was no picnic. There would be casualties.

She just hoped there would be none in her family. Thinking of it, she would not be in the Burrow to watch the timepiece. She would be fortunate to be in Sirius' house. There was no way to tell whether Death-Eaters would plan an attack on the Burrow these days. They would find an empty house anyway.

"Come on, Ginny, are you ready ? Yes ? Good. Take a bag with you." She threw a handful of Floo powder in the grate and pushed her daughter in, while yelling the destination. She readjusted Alan's bag on her shoulder, secured the baby in one arm, threw some more Floo powder, took the other bag, and stepped in.

Molly Weasley was a multi-task mum. She had been used to that, with six children to raise.

* * *

She arrived in 12 Grimmauld Place. Ginny, Sirius and George Nottingham were there, waiting for her in the drawing-room. Sirius helped her with the two bags she carried. He was about to hug her when he noticed the bundle in her arms.

"Molly, don't tell me you had been hiding that one ?" he said teasingly.

She pursed her lips and considered slapping him gently on the back of his head for his joke. "Sirius Black !" She sighed. "No, this one's not mine. It belongs to…" She watched George. "To your daughter Lorena, George. Please meet Alan. Your grandson."

She stepped forward towards him to show him the boy. Suddenly, she realized that as soon as they would see the baby, there might be no doubts as to whom his father was. That was a risk to run, she could not do otherwise, it was too late. Anyway, she knew nothing and would stick to that.

George took the baby in his arms. He was moved to see the child. "He's got Lorena's hair. Though dark blue eyes do not run much in our family." He caressed the child's tiny cheek. Hearing this, Molly bit her tongue to avoid telling him that the baby would have dark eyes eventually.

Sirius came closer to look at the infant. He knew the truth. He knew where these dark blue eyes came from. _It's Snivellus' child alright._ He had to admit that the baby was cute. _Thanks to his mother. If we had to rely on Snape for beauty or cuteness…_

"Where's Lorena, by the way ?" George inquired.

That was the real question Molly dreaded most. She could deal with a 'I know nothing' attitude about the child's father. But that question was entirely something else.

"She had to remain at Hogwarts." Molly knew at once she was not that much convincing. She had a hard time lying actually. She glanced outside. The day was slowly giving place to darkness.

"Lorena is at Hogwarts and you brought her child here ?" He frowned. "There's something I fail to understand here."

Molly glanced at Sirius. "She told me that she has a few loose ends to tie up there before. She could not keep an eye on her son at the same time so I agreed to help her…" She smiled with understanding.

Fortunately for her, Alan began to whine. She took the baby from George's arms. "He's hungry. Give him back to me. Ginny, take Alan's bag here and come with me to the kitchen. I'm going to prepare the dinner too." She hurried past the two men, her daughter on her tail.

George and Sirius exchanged a gaze that said it all.

"Something's up with my daughter, Sirius."

The other wizard remained silent. Then it dawned on George. "What day is it today ?"

Sirius was taken aback. He gathered at once what his friend had in mind. "Err…"

George did not wait for him to reply. He stormed out of the drawing-room and entered the meeting room, a room where he never went. The room where the Order had its meetings – to which he was never invited. There was a calendar hanging on a wall, besides a black board. A black board containing various names, sorted into what looked like teams.

George got closer. He read the names on the board and discovered his daughter's name. Along that of three other names. Under the name of a place obviously.

Shrieking Shack : Severus Snape. Lorena Nottingham. Narcissa Malfoy. Draco Malfoy.

A bad feeling began to creep in his heart. _Are these the loose ends to be tied up ?_ His eyes searched the calendar. April 30th. A name was written down next, also in red. Beltaine's Eve. _Tonight_.

_What's going on ? Where's my daughter ?__ What's that Shrieking Shack place by the way ?_ Of course, he had no idea that the Shrieking Shack was located in the vicinity of Hogwarts. The name itself was not very engaging either.

He wanted to go out of the room to ask for answers. Sirius was standing at the threshold, watching him. The younger wizard could read anxiety on his friend's face.

"What's going on ? Where's my daughter ?" he repeated his questions aloud this time. Sirius remained silent but came closer to him. "What's the Shrieking Shack ? What's supposed to happen on… Beltaine ? Tonight ? I'm sure that Dumbledore has not planned a midnight picnic there to gaze at the stars !"

Sirius sighed. "We'd hoped you would not find out." Contrary to Molly, he could lie. Yet, he did not wish to do so this time.

George scowled – not so differently from Severus. "What do you mean ?"

Sirius' Gryffindor courage kicked in. He knew he had to tell the truth. "Tonight… will probably see the defeat of Voldemort. A battle is planned at Hogwarts, another one at the Ministry of Magic. Your grandson was brought here to be safe, away from the school."

"Are you telling me that Hogwarts is no longer a safe place ? Dumbledore had sworn to me that either here or there, there was no safer place for me and Lorena !"

Sirius quite agreed. Yet, he could not tell his friend that the Headmaster had a strong manipulative streak... That would undermine the trust George had in Albus. "Hogwarts is still a safe place. It's just that it represents a powerful interest. In our world, Hogwarts and the Ministry are the two places of power. I don't know how it is in the Muggle world but teachers are very important. To teach power, you have to demonstrate and master it. Besides… control the young and you can control a community, have leverage on families, shape the future."

That made sense indeed. "Yeah, nothing new under the sun as far as control is concerned," George snorted. "But why hasn't Lorena been brought here, with her son, if here is the safest place ever ?"

The question was tricky yet logical. Sirius opted for a straightforward answer – though he would have loved Albus at his side to explain things. Now the Headmaster had other pressing matters to deal with…

"They need her and her powers to bait Voldemort into a trap during a ritual he intends on carrying out there." Sirius had not meant to tell the truth as bluntly but he knew he could not beat about the bush endlessly.

"A trap ? You mean my daughter's used to trap a dangerous maniac ?"

That was roughly stated but true nonetheless. Sirius could feel anger rising in George. Yet, Sirius was not a Gryffindor for nothing. "Yes."

A flash of anger went through George's eyes. He grabbed Sirius by his vest lapels. "Why didn't you tell me ? Why nobody told me ? Why did you hide the truth from me ? I thought you were _my friend_ ! You betrayed me !"

"I am, George, I am your friend ! Dumbledore had told us not to tell you a word lest you may…"

"Lest I may what ?"

"React the way you just are now ! Do I need to remind you that you need protection too ?"

"My daughter does need protection yet she was sent in the clutches of a psychopath ! Maybe she is, right now ! I don't need that kind of protection ! I need to be with her ! She's the one that needs protection ! She's just a girl ! My little girl !"

They glared at each other. Sirius could understand his anger though. He would have felt exactly the same.

"And what is the Shrieking Shack ? What's supposed to happen there ?" George asked.

"Release me and I'll tell you. Everything."

George did that and both men sat at the meeting table. Sirius explained to him what the Shrieking Shack was, why it was called as such, where it was located, what its use was when he was a Hogwarts student himself. "Remus could confirm you the same – he was the werewolf that used the Shack during full moon for his little furry problem."

"Save that Remus is already there at Hogwarts. I won't go there and ask him to confirm me your story," George said ironically. "That's okay, I do believe you."

"Listen, George, I am your friend." He sighed. "I suggest the following : What about you and me going there, to Hogwarts ? I'm also fed up to be secluded here, while the others have a piece of the action."

"Hogwarts is in Scotland and we're in London, Sirius ! How do we get there ?"

Sirius glanced at the door. He took a conspiratorial tone, speaking in hushed tones. "We could use the Floo network. But instead of arriving in Hogwarts, we could arrive in Hogsmeade, the wizarding village nearby. It's even closer to the Shack than the castle."

"That supposes you have a grate there where we could land in."

Sirius thought for a few seconds. "I know a grate that could welcome us. It's located in a pub in a side alley in Hogsmeade. It's called the 'Hog's Head'. I know the manager."

"Excellent ! Let's go then !"

"No."

"No ?"

"Not yet." Sirius glanced again at the door. "The ritual should not start before two hours' time. Besides, we need to get out of here unnoticed from Molly. Otherwise, believe me, she'll be the first to rush to Dumbledore and tell him everything. The Headmaster will have our hides then." _Especially mine as I was not supposed to tell George anything about his daughter and what's supposed to happen tonight…_

George looked at Sirius. The younger wizard looked like a kid planning his next mischief. He imagined him to be a rather rule-breaking student in his Hogwarts days. Well, he was himself a bit like that, with all his past run-ins with the law. He was in good company.

Sirius went on. "We need to stay here, as if totally unawares. We'll have dinner with Molly first. Not bad to have something down our throats either if the night promises to be long. Then we can tell her we're tired and will have an early night. She'll suspect nothing unusual and we'll just sneak down to the drawing-room to Floo out."

"That sounds like a good plan indeed."

"Is that a deal ?"

"Yes, sure you have a deal !"

Both men shook hands together, an accomplice smile on their lips. "Remember, George, we have to act as usual. Enjoy her food, enjoy your grandson, and in two hours' time, freedom for the both of us !"

Put like this, the program for the evening sounded very appealing. Just like the next night escapade – not going to war against the most dangerous Dark wizard of the time.

"Talking about my grandson, I really wonder who's the man behind his conception," George asked.

Sirius remained quiet. He knew who the father was. He had seen Severus and Lorena talk about the baby and kiss together. But he had sworn in himself to say nothing. "I don't think that's the moment to find out. Let's focus on the upcoming battle. You'll find out later. Remember that Voldemort is a nasty piece of work. The whole affair won't be a picnic."

"I don't care. I want my daughter back, alive and in one piece." George had a ferocious look of determination that Sirius found very Gryffindor.

"That's the spirit. We'll find her. Don't worry."

* * *

_**Multi-task mum… How befitting of Molly Weasley.**__** Of course, there is no Ron in this story, so Molly had only six children, with Ginny her last child and only daughter. Bill and Charlie are in the UK, not abroad. Percy is in his last year at Hogwarts. The twins are in Hogwarts too, somewhere in the middle of their schooling (third or fourth year).**_

_**I love the interaction between Sirius and George – these two wizards have something pretty much in common with the Blues Brothers in a sense, very scheming and determined once their goal is set, and at the same time, careless and oblivious of the dangers around. So much Gryffindor. (I mean it, no offense to Gryffindor here.) I can tell you, these two are like two peas in a pod, pretty much like Jake and Elwood.**_

_**I could not resist about the title of the chapter, in reference of that book telling the story of a mother that did every thing in her power not to abandon her own daughter – **_**Not Without My Daughter**_**. I think that George Nottingham is in a similar situation as soon as he learns about the plans regarding Lorena. He perceives she will be in danger at some point or another and he will do every thing he can to preserve her – including wringing the truth out of Sirius forcefully if needed. Hence the title of that chapter.**_

_**But as Sirius is very hungry for action, George did not have a hard time convincing him in coming up with the truth and a rescue plan. **__**Will they manage to get to the Shack ? What do you reckon it's going to happen with these two mischief makers involved ? Leave your ideas and impressions, dear readers, you know how much I enjoy reading you !**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	129. You're the weak one

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**129 – ****You're the weak one**

Complete silence has fallen over the Shrieking Shack. Only the sound of drops falling in a chalice could be heard. Blood.

The potion had kicked in, which made the whole thing less unbearable. Lorena tried to think about something else, her eyes closed. She had been through worse. Yet, she was sure the worst was to come. She focused on her elemental magic. Her love for Severus. For her son. For her father. The men of her life. Her unexpected, incredible friendship with Draco. The memories of her mother and grandmother. Her love of music, one of the most powerful magic ever, along with love.

The drops falling in the chalice had something almost musical. _My blood. The blood of life. _She tried to remember her various readings about blood magic and blood rituals. So many mysteries… Virginity. Love-bites. Love. Magic. Blood magic. Elemental magic. _No, it can't be. He cannot possibly believe that my elemental magic will be transferred to him that way. It doesn't work like this. _Lorena knew her magic was of another nature. It could not be transmitted so crudely, so forcibly taken. Her magic could be given, only if freely consented to. She had consented to give herself and her virginity to Severus. It had worked then indeed. Consent was the key word. She knew that the ritual would fail. She remembered what Severus had told her about the Dark Lord : he was a powerful wizard but yet, he remained woefully ignorant of how things could work in terms of magic. He neglected details that were essential – therefore his endeavors were doomed to fail.

Thing was, she would die in the process. In vain – just because the man had understood nothing and never would.

"Is the chalice filled up ?" Voldemort asked with an impatient voice. "Severus ?"

The Potions Master checked the chalice. It was filled up indeed. He put a small basin under her arm while taking the chalice away, so as not to loose a single drop of her blood. "Here it is, Master," he said while handing Voldemort the chalice, his face lowered.

Voldemort took the chalice with his long, white fingers, delicately as if it were the most precious thing in the world. Well, it was at this precise moment. He watched it carefully. "Severus, to my victory !" he said while raising the chalice in front of him, as if it were a toast to his future success. "To my victory !" he bellowed again. Then he brought the chalice to his lips and drank its content from it.

Severus glanced at him, thinking how easy it would have been to poison him. But the Dark Lord would have noticed him tampering with the blood. He had his eyes on his Potions Master. Wormtail was watching too. Severus was not stupid – he knew what he could do and what he could not. _Too bad._

Thing was, there was not much he could do now. Too much he wanted to do and could not do. And now, he was spilling the blood of the woman he loved.

Severus was disgusted. He had read about various Muggle religious rituals that involved blood. Yet, most of them stuck with symbols. He knew the value of symbols. Magic was full of symbols too.

He also remembered when he had licked Lorena's thighs and womanhood tenderly after having deflowered her. A bit of blood had remained there on her skin. It had tasted good. She had tasted good. Yet, in that instance, it had been part of their lovemaking. While now, drinking the blood of another human being… that was akin to cannibalism in his opinion.

"Now, some of her powers should have passed onto me," Voldemort said. He had not finished to empty the chalice. "I'll try after I drink the whole of her blood."

Lorena had heard him. She remembered the giant ant incident during the DADA course, or when Severus had coerced information from her with a form of Cruciatus – unwillingly.

Who would be the guinea pigs this time ? _Of course, that's pretty obvious. Draco and his mother. They are here for that purpose._ They were still in physical contact with her. They had surely Occluded their minds. She would have to break through their barriers.

'_Draco… Draco… Focus on your sense of friendship and loyalty !'_ She repeated that several times, forcefully in her mind. _'If you can hear me, press my ankles.'_ After long seconds spent like this, she felt a pressure on her ankles. She sent him a love-wave. _Now his mother._

That promised to be more difficult. Narcissa was a mature witch and Lorena had no idea if her Occlumency was strong or not. _'Mrs Malfoy, focus your love as a mother onto your son !'_ Like for Draco, Lorena repeated that sentence several times. _'Press my shoulders that you will. Please.' _

A discreet yet firm pressure on her shoulders informed Lorena that Narcissa had let her access her mind and received her message. She was surprised that Narcissa had given in so quickly. The older witch's Occlumency was good indeed. There was something else. _Not the time to think about it._

Then, while she was still in contact with Narcissa's mind, Lorena stumbled upon something else. _We're kin, you and me. I took a Wizard's Oath with Severus that I'll do everything in my power to get us all out of here._ That was a surprise but Lorena's face remained unreadable. She and Severus had allies. She knew that Draco was not enthralled by the Dark Lord's projects. Now Narcissa was not his side either.

_That may explain why she gave in to me so quickly._

Lorena felt elated suddenly. She felt love bursting into her chest. She used that energy to focus on both Narcissa and Draco. Logically, they should be the next victims of the Dark Lord's madness.

Narcissa and her son raised their heads at the same moment, in the following second. They had both received the love wave. Narcissa ordered silently to her son to keep on focusing on his positive feelings for the young blind witch lying in front of him.

Voldemort had finished to drink the blood. He handed the empty chalice to his Potions Master. He licked his very thin lips as if he did not wish to lose a single drop of Lorena's blood.

He came closer to Lorena. "I've been told that your powers were so formidable, that you could cast an Unforgivable wandlessly." Then his gaze turned towards Draco. He watched the boy. Narcissa tensed. She knew what he had in mind. She understood now what Lorena had told her. She focused her love on her son. She felt mist in her blue eyes but her resolve was firm.

"_CRUCIO_ !" Voldemort yelled towards Draco.

To his great disappointment, the boy did not move. Whether this was due to his mother's and friend's protection, or the fact that the ritual was ineffective, it was impossible to tell.

Voldemort let out a groan of frustration. He got his wand out to vent it out, one way or the other. Narcissa focused on her son even more, pressing Lorena's shoulders, even digging her fingers into her flesh. The young witch did not feel the pain. She just gathered what would happen next. She focused her energy onto her friend. Narcissa closed her eyes – she did not want to see her child tortured.

"_CRUCIO_ !" Voldemort aimed his wand at Draco.

A strange phenomenon occurred then. The flash of the curse touched the young man but he remained unscathed. Instead of that, the jolt of energy came back to its origin. Voldemort screamed briefly out of pain.

"Oh, Merlin…" Narcissa whispered. _My son… my son is… unscathed !_ Her eyes went as big as saucers. The power of love, of a mother's love.

"What's… what's that ?" Voldemort roared. He came closer to Lorena. "Mudblood !" He was hovering over her now. "Look at me !"

"I'm blind, my Lord…"

He slapped her face before taking it between his hands. "Open your eyes !"

Lorena could not but obey. She Occluded her mind tightly, raising her mental shields as much as possible. Yet, Voldemort managed to break through.

"Your Occlumency is good, Mudblood. However… I'm stronger than you," he said with a surprisingly soft voice. He went on perusing the memories she offered him to watch. However, he was ruthless in his assault. Lorena felt her willpower giving in little by little.

"_LEGILIMENS_ !" he yelled.

Severus shivered. Never the Dark Lord said the dreaded incantation aloud to get the information he wanted. He closed his eyes, remembering when he had done so himself on her. Her defenses would crumble and everything would be uncovered.

Lorena held on. She did not repel Voldemort, she allowed him in her mind. She just focused on protecting her secrets. Her resistance made him go madder. His attacks were so powerful that her mental shields broke down.

"So… you had a son… and he's alive ! How many other secrets such as this one do you have ?"

Lorena would not reply. She would have to give him other information, quick, that would be harmless, in order to protect Severus.

She gave him the memory of her family tree to see. "We're kin, you and me, my Lord…" She felt his surprise for long seconds.

"Family means nothing to me," he said eventually. His pressure on her mind eased up a bit, allowing her some rest.

"You killed them for that… My father's siblings… My grandmother… just because we're the Heirs of Slytherin too." Her voice was faint yet perfectly clear for all present to hear.

"Shut up, you filthy Mudblood !" Voldemort knew she was right. He could not deny it. That explained her being a Parselmouth.

He searched her mind again. It was painful now. She let out a scream, tears welled up in her eyes, spilling on her cheeks. He probed until the moment he found something really interesting. Something about his Potions Master.

Her love for Severus.

She let out a cry of despair when she felt Voldemort had stumbled on that particular feeling of hers. Severus knew she had given in to the powerful Legilimens his Master was. The problem was, to what extent ?

"You're so weak, so vulnerable !" he spat with contempt. Then he lifted his red gaze towards the Potions Master, thus breaking the Legilimency. Lorena let out a moan of relief. "She has feelings for you, Severus. Did you know that ?"

"They are unrequited, Master. I can assure you." A pure lie, of course.

_Well, he kn__ows about all this nonsense she calls love,_ Voldemort thought. An evil smirk curled his mouth. "Are you so sure, Severus ?"

Severus' gaze met his Master's with his usual emptiness. "I am."

"Well… There's only one way to prove it." Voldemort stepped back. "Pick up your dagger. Pick it up and fulfill the second part of the ritual for me !"

That was not what had been planned initially. The Dark Lord had to perform this part himself – not Severus. The Potions Master had planned to kill his Master then, hoping Narcissa and Draco would help him. Wormtail was there but vermin was easy to get rid of.

This time, they were doomed, really doomed. Narcissa and Draco exchanged glances. What was next ?

"Pick up your dagger, Severus. Take her heart out for me !"

Narcissa and Draco gaped. Wormtail let out a nervous giggle. Lorena had gotten a grip on herself. She tried to focus on her husband. That required a tremendous effort after what Voldemort had just done to her.

"Severus…" she whispered. "I'm sorry…" _I love you !_

He lowered his dark gaze onto her. He read the despair written all over her face. He felt her love, so warming, so soothing. The Love-Snakes ring tingled on his skin under his garments, over his heart.

_If she dies, I'll die too. I don't mind dying.__ As long as she lives._ Severus came closer to her. He tore her shirt apart over her chest to gain better access to her heart. _I'll die for you._

"Severus !" Narcissa whispered, as if she wanted to tell him 'You can't do this !'

He glanced at her – her hands were still on Lorena's shoulders, now shaking. His own hands lingered tenderly on the young witch's soft skin. He wanted to touch her a last time.

He took the dagger in his hand. "Don't be sorry," he whispered. _My love._

"Severus ! Take her heart out !" Voldemort ordered again, impatiently. "She belongs to me ! I can do whatever I want with her ! She belongs to me !"

Severus' possessiveness came back full force. _No, she doesn't belong to you, my Lord,_ the Potions Master thought. _She does belong to me ! To me only !_

Then Severus felt it – the magic of the Unbreakable Vow. Powerful, protective, comforting. Unless it was hers ? Her elemental magic ? He closed his eyes. This was the moment of truth. He had made up his mind. His own free will was back somehow. He was bound by the Unbreakable Vow but it felt like a tool to his own freedom.

He let the dagger fall besides him. The metal made a strange sound when meeting the wooden floor. "No," he growled.

His gaze met Voldemort's. Severus had Occluded his mind. Yet, a cold determination shone forth in his charcoal eyes.

"No ?" repeated Voldemort, a bit taken aback by his right hand man's sudden disobedience. "You won't obey me ?"

"No. I can't and I won't."

Lorena felt something was at hand. She was perfectly aware of the risks incurred when disobeying the Dark Lord. She focused her love on Severus. She felt Draco's concern and Narcissa's despair. She perceived the magic of the Unbreakable Vow too. She channeled all these energies onto the man she loved to protect him. Her hand found his body, over the frock coat fabric. She clung to the garment.

"You can't and you won't ? What does that mean ? You're a clever man, Severus. Think of this, you wouldn't like to taste of my wrath, would you ?"

Severus remained silent, his gaze on his Master. But was Voldemort still his Master after all ? He was no longer doing his bidding. For the first time in ages, an unspeakable feeling of freedom seized his soul. He felt in peace, ready to meet his fate.

He would die a free man. But he would not be alone. The woman he loved was with him.

"So this is it. You lied to me, Severus ! You said that her feelings for you were unrequited. I can see that's not the case. How many other lies did you tell me all over the years ?" Voldemort's tone indicated that he knew the answer already. "You love her. Haven't you learned all these years that love is a weakness ?" His red eyes burnt with anger. "So weak," he spat with contempt. He raised his wand towards his Potions Master. "Then get ready to die, Severus."

"You're the weak one," Lorena's voice said hoarsely yet aloud enough for everyone to hear.

Voldemort's attention came back to the young blind witch that had just uttered these words. If it could buy Severus precious seconds, so far so good. The Potions Master perceived it as such. He took his wand out discreetly.

"What did you say, Mudblood ?" the Dark Lord asked.

"You're the weak one… because you don't know… either love or friendship… You never will… And I feel sorry for you." Lorena thought that he would not be able to bear the compassion her words conveyed. This would be a emotion so powerful, that he could not use it against her or her companions. It would backfire on him inevitably.

Her empty pale gray eyes were trained towards him. There was a look in her gaze that unsettled Voldemort. A look full of compassion. Of course he could not define what it was. The blind witch had a power which he did not have, he craved to have, yet, a power he could not understand. It was almost unbearable and surely infuriating.

Voldemort was ready to strike when a voice rose in the room. A bass voice full of might.

"I would not do this if I were you."

* * *

_**Ah, evil cliffie ! **__**I love it ! **_

_**I really enjoy keeping you on your toes**__** with this chapter where we're back to the Shrieking Shack after a stop at 12 Grimmauld Place.**_

_**Whom do you think has just showed up, dear readers ?**_

_**Severus made his decision as a free man, giving thus the ultimate proof of his love for Lorena by rebelling against his Master.**_

_**When I wrote the last part, I had in mind the 'possession' part in the **_**Order of the Phoenix**_** movie, at the Ministry of Magic, when Harry manages to repel Voldemort from his own mind, just having seen his friends. Remember the scene ? When I wrote that part of the chapter, it popped up in my mind. **____**The background music was just so gorgeous, I wrote that part with the music playing in my ears.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	130. Kill them all !

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**130 – ****Kill them all !**

Various expressions could be read on the faces of those present when they heard that voice. Voldemort's jaw fell when he turned his head towards the man that had thus spoken. Draco's frowned eyebrows unknit out of relief. Narcissa almost smiled out of gratitude. Lorena had recognized the voice and she let out a sigh, closing her eyes.

Only Severus' face remained unreadable. Yet, his heart jumped in his chest as if about to bounce out of it.

Out of the corner of his eye, Severus watched Wormtail who looked positively shattered, his face downright crestfallen. He had noticed earlier that the little wizard had no wand with him. The Dark Lord did not trust him enough to leave him with one. All the same. He could not be trusted – that was probably the only topic about which he agreed with his Master. His former Master.

"I would not do this if I were you, Tom. You see… Your curse could backfire on you. Lorena uses a very old, very powerful magic. A magic that involves love. Something that you cannot understand."

Albus Dumbledore stood at the threshold of the room, in all his might. Magic could be felt cracking around him.

For once, Severus was happy with the timely old man's meddling in other people's business. Above all the Dark Lord's business.

Voldemort knew the old wizard was right. It was what had happened when he had cast the Cruciatus curse on the young Malfoy. He let out a snort. "Dumbledore. How wonderful it is to see you. You're looking older than ever."

The Headmaster remained unfazed by his former student's ironic remark. "Older and wiser, you may add." There was no twinkle in his steely blue eyes. Only despise. "It was foolish of you to have started all this, Tom. Your forces are losing in Hogwarts."

"I don't think so, Dumbledore."

"Do I detect a flicker of fear in your eyes, Tom ?"

Voldemort was furious – only one person in the whole world dared address him as 'Tom' and that person was just standing right there in front of him.

"Fear ?" Voldemort burst out in a maniacal laugh. His wand was still trained on Severus.

"Unless it is… cowardice ? What courage does it take to kill an unarmed man ?"

"That man is my servant ! My slave ! My Mark is branded on his flesh. He's mine to finish !"

"Kill him and _you'll_ be mine to finish, Tom," Dumbledore said icily, his own wand trained on the Dark Lord. His steely blue eyes had lost all their warmth, reflecting only a cold determination.

It dawned on Voldemort : his spy had been a double-agent – but not for his side. It made him furious to no end. He had been cheated by one of his most loyal followers, if not the most loyal of them. How a Legilimens like him could have been fooled for so many years ? It fueled his determination to get rid of Albus Dumbledore. And of Severus of course. The traitor would die a very painful, gruesome death.

"Should I take your suggestion for what it's worth ? An invitation to end it all ? Just the two of us ? Let's see whose the greatest wizard between you and me then !"

"After you," Dumbledore said while tilting his head towards the stairs leading outside.

Voldemort smirked. "Be my guest, Dumbledore. But before that, I have a loose end to tie up. You see, you arrived in the middle of some unfinished business. Nagini !" He would have his spy punished. What he had in mind should serve him right.

The giant snake uncoiled itself and slithered up to its master. Once in front of him, it coiled itself around the arm Voldemort offered him. There was something almost sensual in their embrace. The Dark Lord cast a silencing spell around them both. His lips were moving, the snake hissed – yet no sound could be heard from them.

"_Nagini, kill them all. Except Wormtail. Let him go. Kill Severus first. Then the girl on the table. Kill the boy too. Kill ! Kill them all !"_ he said to his snake in Parseltongue.

Nagini signified her agreement by showing her fangs, her eyes glinting. Voldemort smirked at her and petted her head. _"Once you're done, come and join me in the field outside. Follow my magic and you'll find me there. Go !"_ Then he lifted the silencing spell. The snake left his arm in a sensual move, almost regretfully.

Voldemort turned himself towards Dumbledore, an evil smirk on his face. "Let's have it your way, Dumbledore. But before that, let me take a small life insurance."

In one jump, Voldemort stood besides Narcissa which he grabbed. In a split second, they had both disappeared in a fury of black smoke.

At the same second, two things happened. Dumbledore disappeared in a white cloud of smoke. "Mother !" Draco shouted before Disapparating on his turn. He would try to get his mother back. Malfoys stuck together.

Severus did not have the time to react. In fact, now he was alone with Lorena. "Lorena, love !" he grabbed her. "Let's get out of here !" She was in his arms again. Except for her wounded right arm, she was unscathed. They walked a few steps away from the table.

Suddenly, Severus felt a presence in his back. His head turned a little to see who it was, expecting Wormtail. His dark gaze met Nagini's glinting eyes. A look of terror overwhelmed his features.

Everything went very fast. A terrible, sharp pain exploded on his left shoulder. Despite his self-control, Severus let out a scream that filled the whole building. His wand escaped his hand and rolled a bit further away. Lorena could not see but she perceived the snake's presence.

She used her elemental magic and Parseltongue to repel Nagini from her husband. The snake released Severus' shoulder and flew over the room, to end up against the opposite wall, with a loud thud.

Severus fell to the ground, his right hand gripping his shoulder in excruciating pain. Lorena stumbled on him. "Your bezoar…"

"In… my… right… pocket…" She slid her hand in it. Her fingers found a stone. She took it and put it in her own mouth to wet it with her saliva, so that it could be shoved in his throat more easily.

"Severus… Severus… Open your mouth !"

She had no way to see if he reacted. Her hands searched his mouth. She put the bezoar in it. She lifted his head between her hands, so that the stone could go down the right pipe. She sat so that he could rest on her lap, against her bosom, massaging his neck to allow the stone to go down his throat easily.

Then she heard footsteps nearby. "Now I have a wand !"

"Wormtail… you vermin…" Severus croaked.

"I'll be able to finish what our Master wanted to do, Severus. All these years you treated me like dirt… Now's payback time !"

"You are… dirt… Wormtail…"

"Better be a living dirt, than a dead filthy traitor like you, Severus ! After that, I'm sure our Master will reward me with her ! I'll have the girl for me !"

The notion that Wormtail could lay his hands on Lorena fueled Severus' anger and gave him back a bit of energy.

"Get away from her, rat-face !" he growled. He was in pain but he could feel the Unbreakable Vow's magic still lingering in him, supporting him. At least, another condition of the Vow had been fulfilled : the Dark Lord's ritual had failed. Yet, the Vow's magic would help him protect Lorena – one of the conditions.

Wormtail burst out in an evil laughter. "You're dying, Severus, and you can do nothing for her ! Let me take her away, safe. Away from the Dark Lord. In exchange, I'll have her for me only."

"I'd rather die," Lorena spat venomously. "After I'll kill you first !"

"With what ? You're blind and I have Severus' wand with me. Eh, pray tell, with what ?"

Lorena smirked. "With this." She raised her hand. A rush of energy hit Wormtail that landed on the ground a few yards further – not so differently from Nagini earlier. "Psychokinetics," she spat with despise for the little wizard.

Wormtail still had Severus' Ebony wand firmly clutched in his hand. He smirked. "Your feats are at an end, Wormtail," she growled with a threatening voice. "Get. Out." With a flick of her hand, she cast a Stinging Hex on Wormtail that scrambled out, shrieking in pain.

He did not wish to interfere with these two any longer. Better get the hell out of here before things got really nasty for him. Besides, now with a wand, he knew what he could just do to get rid of them. So far so bad for the girl but at least, Severus would pay. Definitively. Oh, how much his Master would be happy !

* * *

Sirius and George did as planned. They came back to the kitchen. Ginny had the baby on her lap, cooing over Alan, taking her role very seriously, while her mother prepared the dinner actively.

Sirius took a seat with a butterbeer in hand. George went to the little girl and asked her if he could take the baby in his arms. Ginny asked her mother mutely. "Of course, Ginny, he's Alan's grandfather."

George took his grandson in his arms. He examined the baby's face, searching family traits in his features. He wondered who the father was. _Dark hair, well, Lorena's got dark hair. Dark blue eyes…_

"Tell me, Molly, when is Alan born ?"

"April 21st, from what your daughter told me."

"Oh. I know that all babies have blue eyes. Do you think that this one will keep his blue eyes though ?"

She turned towards him. "I don't think so, George. They're too dark to remain blue, in my opinion."

_Dark eyes. We all have blue or gray or green eyes in my family. Even in Fiona's family, they all ha__ve green eyes. My mother had blue-gray eyes. Like Lorena._

"Looks tall for his age," he said casually.

"He is, from what Poppy told me. Poppy is the medi-witch at Hogwarts."

Sirius had followed the exchange carefully. As well as George's train of thoughts. It was time for a diversion. "Molly, what will we eat tonight ?"

"Only your stomach is important, Sirius !" she scolded him gently while welcoming his remark for what it was – a diversion. "Pumpkin soup. Treacle tart."

"Sounds great." Sirius glanced at George.

The older man was silent, busy watching his grandson, still studying his features. _Dark hair. Dark eyes. Tall._ George had a feeling of déjà-vu but could not replace it on someone. Yet, he was sure… He could not tell but he was sure he had already met someone that fitted that description. _But who ? _He racked his brains but was unable to put a name or a face on his impression.

Molly gave another bottle to the baby before the four of them settled around the table for dinner. Lorena had expressed enough breast milk to last between 24 and 36 hours. Her son whined a bit – mummy's breasts were tastier than the bottle – but he was too hungry to refuse the milk.

The food was excellent and George complimented Molly for the meal. Sirius cracked jokes as usual. When it was over, they had a bit of time ahead. George even suggested he could do the washing-up. Molly giggled and thanked him, stating that magic could take care of it in a minute or two.

She left the two men and went upstairs with the baby and her daughter for a bedtime story. George kissed his grandson goodbye and followed Sirius to the drawing-room, after both men bid Molly and Ginny good night. Molly replied in kind. She took the baby and her daughter upstairs.

Once they were out of earshot, Sirius patted his friend's shoulder. "Let's go, mate. I guess she'll be busy for a time."

George nodded and they went to the drawing-room quickly. On their way upstairs, they were met by Mrs Black's portrait that began to hurl abuse at them. George spoke to the lady in Parseltongue – which made her quiet at once. A baby's wail could be heard in the distance, in the upper rooms.

"Damn woman… she woke up the baby," Sirius muttered. "I wish I could be a Parselmouth."

George chuckled. "Usually I speak that way to vermin and pests only. If my mother had heard me, she would have washed my mouth with soap. Maybe I could teach you a word or two."

Sirius smiled. "Wouldn't work, my mother knows that I'm not a Parselmouth. Thanks anyway."

They entered the drawing-room. There was nobody. Sirius closed the door behind them. "George, you go first, don't worry, I'll be right behind you. You've got your wand ?" George nodded, showing his left sleeve, where he had learned to keep it. "Get it out." Sirius threw a handful of Floo powder in the grate.

"Ready ?"

"Ready !"

"Hog's Head !" Sirius said aloud while pushing George in the green flames. Then he repeated the same for him and disappeared.

* * *

Lorena turned her attention towards her husband, pressing him against her body, caressing his face tenderly. "Severus… we're rid of him now…"

"He's right… I'm dying…"

"No ! You won't die ! I love you !" She began to free his left shoulder. "I love you too much for you to die !"

"Too much love…" He hissed in pain.

"Let me suck the venom out," she said.

"… will kill you, Lorena… don't…" He tried to push her away.

Her fingers touched his face. She wanted to put her lips on his, to give her more love, more life, more energy. The kiss of life.

"Don't… the venom will make… our kisses lethal…"

"Shhh…" She kissed him gently. "Too much love cannot kill us, Severus. Never."

His right hand found her waist. "I love you but you have to go away. Get out… Please !"

"No, I won't leave you. I'd rather die with you here !"

"Lorena… think of our son… Alan needs you…"

A hissing sound interrupted their sweet exchange. Severus felt Lorena tense in his arms. "Nagini…" she whispered. She talked to the snake in Parseltongue.

Severus' glazed eyes managed to look around. His vision was blurred. He could no longer rely on his reflexes to protect her. He was ready to shield her with his own body in case the snake would try to bite her. He knew he would not survive another bite. He was ready to die for her.

The snake hissed closer. Lorena could rely only on her acute hearing to locate Nagini. "_You shall not kill another Parselmouth !" _she said again in Parseltongue.

She heard another sound in the distance. Heavy footsteps thumping on the wooden floor. Probably this Wormtail vermin was back. _Wonderful._

"Lorena ! Lower your head !" she heard.

And so did Severus. He grabbed her towards him, crushing her flat against his own body, his right arm around her in a protective gesture. A swishing sound could be heard flying above them, quickly followed by a loud thud as if something had fallen on the wooden floor.

The Gryffindor Sword had just pinned Nagini onto the wall. Neatly. The Queen Cobra swished its tail one more time before becoming motionless, liveless – definitively.

"At last that blasted snake won't hurt anybody from now on !" growled a raspy voice neither Lorena or Severus would have thought they would hear in such a place.

* * *

_**Another evil cliffie – oh, how much I love that ! I really enjoy this.**__** (Evil maniacal laugh.)**_

_**Who has just showed up in your opinion ? Who had just killed Nagini with the Gryffindor Sword ? I'd like to read your ideas !**_

_**Will Severus make it alive after having been bitten by Nagini ?**_

_**And what about George and Sirius ? How are they going to deal with all this ?**_

___**So many questions **____**and only one chapter per day...**_

_**For all those out of there who are geniuses and wizards with drawing and photo-manip, please feel free to use my work to spur your imagination - just provide me with the link so that I can admire your work and leave a review for it.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	131. A piece of the action

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**131 – ****A piece of the action**

"Alastor ?" Lorena asked tentatively.

A pair of strong arms held her. "Yes, that's me. Let's get out of here."

"Alastor… Severus is wounded ! He needs help ! Get him out first !"

Alastor removed Lorena gently from Severus. "Let's see where he is wounded." He gasped in horror when he saw the mangled flesh that had been a shoulder a few minutes before. "Oh, Merlin…"

The Potions Master grimaced. "From how you sound, Moody… it looks bad…"

"Yes, I've seen many ugly wounds but yours…"

Severus winced. "Moody… Take Lorena safe… please… do that for me…"

"No ! I won't leave you ! Severus !"

"Get her out !" Severus yelled as much as his wound allowed him to.

"Severus !" she cried, her hands gripping his frock coat in despair.

Severus managed to raise his body a little, leaning on his right arm. "I don't think… we have time… to argue…" He wrinkled his nose. His sensitive Potions Master's nose had sensed something. "The Shack… fire ?"

He exchanged a glance with Moody. The ex-Auror's magical eye spun frantically in its orbit. "He's right ! Someone started a fire here !" He took Lorena with him in a harsh movement. "Severus, I'll Apparate away with Lorena and I'll come back to pick you up ! Hold on !"

He held the young witch between his arms, spun on his heels, ready to Disapparate. Nothing happened. "Shit !" he bellowed.

"What's… going on ?" Severus asked worriedly. His concern was greater than his pain.

"I can't Disapparate ! That means only one thing…"

"Fiendfyre…" Severus said in a painful moan.

"Fiendfyre ?" Lorena asked.

"The fire that cancels all magic around," Alastor explained somberly.

"I knew… I was to die… here…" Severus sighed.

"We'll die together in blazing glory, remember, Severus ?" Lorena said sadly, hugging him again after having escaped Moody's embrace.

Of course he remembered. Their first DADA class together last Summer, when he had tested her in a duel. "Yes… all written… in the stars…" he whispered while holding her against him.

* * *

The two men arrived in what looked like a deserted pub. They picked themselves up. Sirius looked around suspiciously. "Let's get out."

"Where are we ?"

"In ol' Aberforth's pub."

"Aberforth ?"

"A nice chap. A bit gruff but a good guy nonetheless. I don't think it's time to meet him though. You see…"

"I am Albus Dumbledore's brother," a deep voice echoed in the room. A voice that sounded very much like the Headmaster's. "What the hell the two of you are doing here in my pub ? Tonight's closed ! Don't you know what's going on here ?"

Sirius glanced at George apologetically. George did not lose time. He stuck out his hand to introduce himself. Attack was still the best defense. "George Nottingham. We're on a mission from... your brother."

Aberforth watched George suspiciously. "My brother…" he snorted. Then he turned his gaze towards Sirius. "I know you. You're that no-account, scoundrel Sirius Black."

"The very same ! Good evening, Aberforth," Sirius said before pulling the older wizard into an embrace.

"Weren't you supposed to remain hidden ?"

"Listen, Aberforth, George's right, we're on a mission. We have to go. Just say you didn't see us, okay ?"

"Albus's got many secrets. Get out before you attract too much trouble here. I know you, Sirius, you'd find trouble even in Heaven – if you deserve to get there one day."

Sirius giggled. "Thanks, Aberforth. We haven't seen you either."

"Be careful, the place's swarming with Death-Eaters. But I believe that our good ol' Minerva, her teachers and other Order members are frying some in Hell back in Hogwarts. If you get there, follow the Lake banks instead of the pathway. More discreet."

"Thanks for the tip. Let's go, George," Sirius said before the other wizard could say otherwise. Of course, none of them both had the intention to join Hogwarts. Yet, better for them to be believed to join the fight at the castle. The two men went out quickly.

Night has fallen. This was the new moon. But Sirius knew the place like the back of his hand. They crossed the village quickly to arrive in a patch of meadow land that stretched between Hogsmeade and the Shrieking Shack.

"Over there," Sirius showed to George. "The Shack."

"Looks like there's someone inside, I can see light."

"That's them. Let's go !"

Sirius felt elated. Not only it reminded him when he was a kid but that feeling of freedom was almost unbearable. George felt the same – long time he had not felt the scent of nature around him. Sirius felt so good that he wanted to revert to his animagus form. Yet, he did not wish to lose George so he remained as a human.

"Sirius ! Look !" George grabbed his friend's arm.

They stopped, gaping in horror. The Shrieking Shack had just caught fire.

* * *

George and Sirius glanced at each other before making a bee line towards the Shack as fast as they could. On their way there, they were met by a panicked Draco Malfoy. The young man gripped their arms. "They're inside ! Please ! Help me get them out !"

Sirius recognized Draco at once. Yet, he was surprised to see him there. He was even more surprised to see him worried. He grabbed him by the arms. "Simmer down, Draco ! Who's inside ?"

"My godfather and my best friend… Severus and Lorena !"

"My daughter !" George exclaimed.

"George, wand at the ready !" Sirius said, springing forward, followed by the two others.

"Wait ! Magic won't work ! Someone's cast the Fiendfyre in there !" Draco said in one single breath, while they were running towards the Shack.

Sirius turned towards the young man. "What ?" George did not take the time to ask what kind of fire that was.

"The Fiendfyre ! I tried to enter and use magic but it doesn't work. Only the Fiendfyre can do that !"

Sirius had to admit that Draco was right. "I don't need magic to save my daughter !" George said forcefully. "Let's go !"

Draco took his arm. "Sir ! There's only one flight of stairs and it's already ablaze !" George saw that there were streaks of tears down the young man's cheeks.

"I know the Shack like the back of my hand," Sirius said. "There's another flight of stairs, on the other side of the house. Come on ! Follow me !"

The three men ran towards the other end of the building, which was not touched by the flames yet. They entered the Shack. They had to do quick. The whole structure was mostly in wood and would catch fire rapidly before collapsing over its occupants.

"Help ! Help ! Help !" a voice cried, coming from the ground floor.

"Someone's there !" George said. The three men spotted the person that had called for help. Fire was spreading now. A man was lying among the burning debris falling around them, his leg obviously trapped under a burning beam.

Sirius gasped. "Wormtail ?"

The rat-faced man smiled. "Oh, Sirius ! I've never been so happy to see you again ! Help me ! Help me get out of here !"

"This vermin should remain here," Draco drawled angrily. "He's the Dark Lord's servant !"

"So is your father !" Wormtail quipped.

"Hey ! But that's Severus' wand you have in hand ! You're most likely the one that cast the Fiendfyre !" Draco yelled. He took the Ebony wand from Wormtail's grip with a seething growl.

The small wizard whined, his free hands now joined together in an imploring gesture. "Sirius ! Oh, Sirius, my friend ! Please !"

"I agree with the boy, Peter !" Sirius was about to leave the place when George took his arm.

"No. From what you told me, Sirius, and as much as I agree with you about traitors to their friends, Wormtail alive is the proof you're innocent." With that he began to remove the beam, soon helped by Sirius and Draco that had to admit the older wizard was right.

In a few seconds, Wormtail was freed. He had a broken leg and burns on his arms and face. His blond hair were frizzled with heat and fire. He grabbed George's knees in a pleading stance. "Oh, sir, my dear sir, I owe you my life !"

George had a murderous glare for him. "Just to have your miserable hide hauled over to justice !" Sirius grabbed Wormtail's by the collar and dragged him upstairs.

"Lorena ? Lorena ?"

"Severus ! Severus !"

"Snape ! Where are you ? Snape ! Dammit !"

The three men called frantically while going upstairs. Wormtail screamed out of pain as he was dragged unceremoniously along. Time was the essence.

* * *

Their calls reached the upper floor.

"Did you hear that ?" Lorena said. "Someone's calling from outside !"

Now the fire was eating half of the room in which they were. Moody had led Lorena to a corner that looked safe for the time being before hauling Severus nearby.

"Lorena ? Lorena ?"

"Snape ! Where are you ? Snape ! Dammit !"

"Severus ! Severus !"

"Did you hear that ?" Lorena said again.

"Lorena ? Lorena ?"

"Dad ?" What her father could be doing here while he was supposed to be safe in London ?

"Severus ! Severus ! Where are you ?"

"Draco ?" the Potions Master managed to utter.

"Snape ! Where are you ? Dammit ! Snape !"

"Sirius ?" Alastor said. "What's he doing here ? Damn dog…"

Severus had never been so glad to hear his former classmate's voice. Or that for once, Alastor Moody could utter derogative comments about someone else than him. A tiny smirk curled up his lips. He would have heard that before dying – a real treat !

Alastor rushed towards the stairs. "Here ! Here ! Follow my voice ! Sirius, follow my voice !"

A few seconds later, Draco, Sirius and George entered the room where Lorena and Severus were, led by Moody.

"Lorena !" George exclaimed, rushing to his daughter. "My beloved daughter !"

"I don't think we have time much for hugs, the building should collapse in a few minutes !" Alastor urged.

His Auror instincts had kicked in to direct the rescue. "George, take your daughter out."

Lorena protested vehemently. "No, I don't want to leave Severus ! Severus ! No !" She screamed all she had. Her father watched her for a second or two then glanced at the Potions Master beside her. It dawned on him – Severus was… _Tall, dark hair, dark eyes._ _Alan's father. The man that bedded my girl. The man she is to marry. The man she loves._

He would deal with that later. He hauled his daughter up on his shoulders, caveman style, despite her cries and shouts and punches she could throw at his back. The Fiendfyre did not allow her to do much with magic, even wandlessly.

Draco stopped him. "Go out then turn to the right. Go straight for about a hundred yards. You'll spot a wand light. My mother's there, secure. She's wounded but awake, her wand light should guide you to safety."

"Thanks, young man. Good luck !"

Severus had seen her leave. He was relieved – he knew that Lorena would make it alive. The Unbreakable Vow was fulfilled. More than that, the woman he loved would be safe. He could die in peace now.

Draco went to his side and took his hand in his. "Severus, we'll find a way out."

"Draco… listen… There's a potion set… nearby the table… Take it… Take it… enough inside… first aid…" he rasped painfully.

The young man nodded and rushed to the table used for the sacrifice, protecting himself from the fire brands that began to fall around. A wooden box, similar to a small suitcase, was besides, closed. He took it with him. He brought it back to his godfather. He was about to open it when Severus stopped him with his right hand on his godson's arm.

"No… keep it for you… and the others... You'll need it… Black vial… poison… against… the Dark Lord… inside…"

In the meantime, Alastor and Sirius were discussing about Wormtail.

"We found him with Snape's wand in hand. He had cast the Fiendfyre with it, most likely."

"Where's that wand now ?"

"Draco's got it."

"I'll take that vermin with me, Sirius. He's under arrest from now. The Fiendfyre… he must have learned that from his Master !"

"Then get out, Mad-Eye ! Now ! I'll take care of Snape !" Sirius spotted the boy. "Draco, you get out too !"

Alastor saw the young man carried a box. "Take this, boy !" he said while putting a long metal object in Draco's hands. The Gryffindor Sword. The young Slytherin gasped. "Get out !" Alastor pushed him towards the exit.

A loud noise cracked threateningly somewhere in the building. "We don't have much time, Alastor. Get out !" Sirius urged.

The older wizard nodded. "Are you sure you won't need help with Snape ?"

"No, we'll make it ! Get the hell out of here ! Now !" Sirius said while shoving out the ex-Auror who was dragging Wormtail in the same fashion as Sirius had done before – with complete disregard for the little man's comfort.

Sirius glanced at the Potions Master. "Let's get on with it, _Snivellus_."

Severus raised his dark eyes. His vision was impaired yet his hearing was still working. "Black… why don't you finish… what you had started… twenty odd years ago ?... Let me die here… Nagini has finished… what a werewolf… was supposed to start…"

"So that you may end up a hero and a saint ? No way ! You're neither." Saying so, Sirius hauled up his former classmate, throwing Severus' unscathed arm over his own shoulders, careful not to touch the wounded left shoulder – or what was left of it.

They exited the room. Now the fire had spread everywhere on the upper floor. Beams, shards of glass and wood, and fire brands were falling around them. The air became heavy and rare. They progressed slowly. At one moment, they stopped in the middle of the staircase, on a small landing.

"Let me… die here…" Severus began to utter.

"Stop sniveling, Severus ! I have a debt of honor towards you… no way I won't repay it !"

Severus had a hard time hearing what Sirius said amid the roaring sound of the blaze around them. Yet, he had grasped a few words – _debt, honor, repay_. And most of all, the use of his own given name.

"Sirius…" he moaned. The pain was excruciating and even a seasoned Death-Eater like Severus could not bear it – though he could no longer tell if the pain came from his mangled shoulder, or from the blazing heat that surrounded them, robbing them from the little oxygen left to breathe, or from the fire brands and shards of wood that fell on them.

"Don't you die on me !"

* * *

_**Oh, another evil cliffie… **__**Will Sirius and Severus make it out of the Shack alive ?**_

_**In this chapter, I have given a property to the Fiendfyre : no magic can be performed around it. I know this is NOT true (see the scene in **_**Deathly Hallows**_**, in the Room of Requirement – Harry can fly on his broom while being chased by the Fiendfyre). Unlike the canon Fiendfyre (or Cursed Fire), which adopts a life of his own under the shape of a creature (see the dueling scene between Voldemort and Dumbledore in the **_**Order of the Phoenix**_** movie – Fiendfyre is the first curse that Voldemort cast), the Fiendfyre in this story is like any other fire, save it cannot be put out magically, except by its counter-curse only, and any other magic cannot be used (like **_**Aguamenti**_**, or Apparition, for example). This way, it provided me an interesting twist in my plot, just what I needed. **_

_**The whole action in the Shrieking Shack have been inspired by the scenes there as pictured in the **_**Prisoner of Azkaban**_** movie. Especially the part when Wormtail tries to escapes Sirius and Remus to be finally caught by them and be spared by Harry. When I wrote the whole action taking place in the Shack in my story, I had the settings playing in my mind. I wanted to recreate the same type of dynamics too between the various characters in the whole scene.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation ! Reviews are what fuel the writer's muses…**_


	132. Too much love will kill you

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**13****2 – Too much love will kill you**

Draco had managed to run fast enough to catch up Lorena and her father. He guided them towards his mother who was sitting in the grass, about a hundred yards from the Shack. She held her wand light up so that her son could spot her. "Mother ! Mother !"

"Here, Draco, here !" she replied back.

A few seconds later, George laid his daughter besides Narcissa. The young witch was crying profusely yet silently. She coiled against her father. "Severus… Severus… Severus… I want Severus !"

George looked at the witch and her son besides. "Take care of her ! I'll be right back !"

"Where are you going ?" Draco asked.

"Help Sirius and Alastor bring back my daughter's man !" With that, he ran towards the Shack.

Narcissa managed to slither closer to Lorena, despite her wounded limbs. She removed the school robe that belonged to the blind witch, that she still wore. She put it on Lorena's shoulders to keep her warm. Then she took her in her arms, trying to soothe her.

Draco watched the two women with emotion. He planted the Gryffindor Sword close by and put the wooden box besides them. Severus had mentioned first aid. He had wanted the box to be salvaged from the fire so that whoever was injured could be healed. The young man thought about his godfather, how thoughtful and caring he could be. He glanced towards the Shrieking Shack now completely engulfed by the Fiendfyre, hoping that Severus and whomever with him, would make it out alive.

He opened the box and found some dittany. He put some on Lorena's right arm. Narcissa was wiping the tears from the younger witch's eyes with her own robe, like a mother would. She had sustained injuries from the Dark Lord too – a sprained ankle and a broken leg that would required medical attention, several bruises and superficial cuts that Draco managed to treat – but otherwise she was fine.

Draco remembered that he still had Lorena's wands inside his own robe, as well as Severus'. He took the two wands out of his robe and gave them to her. One of these wands had healing qualities. He kept Severus' wand with him.

"I believe these are yours, Lorena," he said gently while clasping her left hand around the wands. He also noticed that Severus had been considerate enough to wound her right arm – while she used her left arm for wand work.

Footsteps nearby informed Draco and his mother that someone was coming. The young wizard raised his wand in defense.

"Hey, that's me only, Alastor Moody !" Alastor claimed. "Lower that wand, boy !"

Draco smiled. "Do you need help, Professor ?" he asked, rushing toward the limping man.

"No, that's okay, just…" He dragged a body that shrieked in protest. "Just taking care of that vermin !"

Narcissa Malfoy smirked. Alastor Moody shared the same contempt as she did regarding Wormtail. Yet, she wondered why the ex-Auror had deemed important to bring back such scum while Severus… Her heart tightened in her chest when thinking about her best friend.

"Now that we're out of the influence of the Fiendfyre…" He got out his wand from his coat. "_Petrificus Totalus_ !" Wormtail was rendered motionless by the powerful Body-Bind hex cast at him. "_Incarcerus_ !" Further magical bounds around his body allowed him to breathe and see but otherwise, he could not move, not even revert to his animagus form to escape.

"Peter Pettigrew, also known as Wormtail, you are under arrest !" Alastor Moody said with a serious tone that entailed nothing good for the Death-Eater and former Marauder.

"Where's George gone ?" Moody asked.

"He said he would go and try help Sirius to save Severus," Draco replied.

"A courageous man," Narcissa commented softly. "A courageous man indeed." She remembered that this George Nottingham fellow was Lucius' second cousin. Yet, he seemed to have infinitely more courage than her husband.

* * *

George had run back towards the Shack. En route, he had met Alastor Moody dragging Wormtail behind him. Moody had asked him what he was doing but George did not even reply. The ex-Auror gathered what he wanted to do but let him go. "Would have been sorted into Gryffindor, that one…" Yet, he could not help feeling impressed by the man.

George did not know what kind of fire that was, but he had understood that magic could not be used. Therefore, he had put his wand back into his sleeve. Armed with his courage only, he entered the building.

"Sirius ! Severus !" He called the two men again, hoping they were still able to reply. His heart tightened in his chest at the notion that they may be dead by now. He called again while going upstairs.

"Here ! This way ! George ! Here !"

The older wizard spotted the two men amid the smoke. He ran to them. He noticed that Severus was about to pass out while Sirius was breathing with difficulty.

"Sirius, I'm here !"

"George !" the younger wizard said in a ragged breath. His blue eyes reflected a joy similar to the one he used to have when being with James Potter.

"Sirius, listen to me. Give me your both wrists and slide them under Severus. We'll carry him like this."

Sirius gathered at once what his friend wanted. Their hands found each other, secured their grip and lifted the Potions Master. Severus was still conscious, he managed to grip the two men's shoulders, even if his left arm hurt like hell.

They went out like this, without looking back, as fast as possible.

Then suddenly, a swooshing sound rumbled behind the three men, shortly followed by a heat wave that hit them full force, before the blast threw them three to the ground.

* * *

In the distance, Moody, Draco and Narcissa watched the Shrieking Shack collapsing down into a furnace.

"Oh, Merlin…" Draco whispered. He exchanged an anxious glance with his mother that said it all. He saw tears spilling on his mother's cheeks. The older witch clutched Lorena closer to her in a comforting gesture. She could feel something like a loving, tender warmth running through her.

Lorena could not stop thinking about Severus, the man she loved. She sent him love wave upon love wave, hoping he would make it alive. Her father had not come back, neither had Sirius. She could not see but she had heard the sound of the Shack collapsing. "Severus… Severus…" she kept repeating, hoping that the man she loved would make it alive. Along with her father and Sirius.

Draco's gaze crossed Alastor's. Without a word, they left the two women, running towards the Shack – or what was left of it.

* * *

Blasts can be powerful. Yet, Fiendfyre blasts were even more so. Draco had been wise to secure his mother about a good hundred yards away from the Shack, away from the possible destruction. Not that he had foreseen the Fiendfyre but with the Dark Lord around, no one was ever too cautious.

He had not foreseen that that vermin Wormtail could have cast the Fiendfyre either. It was so dangerous… It required such a magical control that only a great, powerful, skilled wizard could master. He would never have cast it himself – even if he had known how to. The only magic that could work against it was the counter-curse to the Fiendfyre. Very few wizards knew it. Draco was not among them. In fact, if Dark wizards knew how to cast the Fiendfyre, most of them did not care about the counter-curse.

The three men had fallen, reaped by the blast. Yet, seconds before that, Severus had felt something touching his heart, his magical core, deeply. He recognized what it was and focused on it.

Love waves. Sent by Lorena. Even from a distance, in the direst situations, she was by his side.

He knew magic could not operate in the close vicinity of a Fiendfyre. Yet, if her love waves had reached him, then _that_ could work. Elemental magic could work. Severus remembered what Lorena had told him about elemental magic, last Summer, when they were in the cave, after the ritual.

_Just tap in that reservoir of primal energy that surrounds us. All the energy around us, combined to our own energies. This is what fuels our capacities. We tapped in the most formidable reservoir of magic ever available to us. Elemental magic is another name for that special force that surrounds us wherever we are. It's very present in nature as nature is its most powerful receptacle. It's out for us to feel it and use it appropriately. Nature's powers are immense, limitless as they encompass the whole Creation. That force… is what binds the universe into a coherent whole, that draws each thing and being together… That force… I can feel it everywhere… in the walls of this cave… in that spring… between the tree and the bird on the tree outside…_

Severus closed his eyes and concentrated his own magical core onto elemental magic. _Yes, I can feel it too. Between you and me. Between the three of us. Between us and the fire. _Severus kept focusing on elemental magic. So when the blast fell upon them, he was ready. Ready to shield them if needed.

And when the Fiendfyre blast hit them, throwing them to the ground, they were protected. By the power of love. By the mighty elemental magic at work.

* * *

Alastor and Draco came closer to the Shack. They spotted the three men most likely knocked out to the ground. They came to them, the heat of the blazing furnace was almost unbearable. They had to do quick. Draco managed to stir Sirius while Moody did the same for George. The Fiendfyre was still raging but should remain contained to the Shack, as there was no trees or forest tract around.

Sirius and George lifted themselves after long seconds. They gasped for air. "Go on !" Alastor ordered them.

Sirius fanned himself. "No, that's okay, we can carry Severus." George nodded in agreement. They bound their hands together, like they had done before. Draco helped them secure Severus on the improvised chair. Moody tried to conjure up a stretcher but they were still too close to the Fiendfyre for magic to work.

Draco assisted his cousin by throwing Sirius' right arm over his own shoulders. Moody did the same for George. The five men left for the safe zone where Lorena and Narcissa waited for them.

Once there, Sirius and George laid Severus onto the ground. The Love-Snakes informed Lorena that her husband was now close to her. She got to him. "Severus… Severus…" She touched his face.

He stirred under her touch. He had been conscious all the time. He could lift his right arm to stroke her face. He felt her tears falling on his face, her lips on his, her hands on his chest.

"Severus… you're alive… I love you…"

"I know… I love you too…" he said in a ragged breath. Death would be sweet onto him – it had allowed him to see, feel and talk to the woman he loved one more time.

Lorena was now almost straddling him. She left the Ebony wand by their side, keeping only the Amaranth wand in her right hand.

"No… don't do that… Lorena…" Severus whispered, his breathing rendered difficult by his wound. He had gathered what she was about to do when he felt her hands touching his temples. "I can die now… I've seen you again… alive…"

"No ! You won't die ! I love you too much for that !"

"Too much love… will kill you… Lorena…"

She cried. "No… Love cannot kill… only evil can…" She sniffled.

"The power… of love ?..." he said softly.

"Yes… now, let love do… let elemental magic do… Let me save you !"

"But… you already…. did it… You saved… my soul…"

"Shhhh…" she whispered while caressing his cheek.

Severus closed his eyes. His right hand found its way to his frock coat pocket and retrieved the Snape medallion he kept clutched in his hand. It was glowing in the dark. The warm contact soothed him.

She had her hands on his temples. He could feel her enter his mind gently, like a caress, like when she kissed him and that her tongue slid itself into his mouth. Soft and warm.

Differently from the first time last Summer, Lorena did not need to look for his soul. It was there already. She had to focus on his wounds. Her hands found her left shoulder, a mass of mangled flesh torn by Nagini's powerful fangs. The bezoar had protected Severus against the venom, the heat had evaporated some of it that had remained superficially on his skin and in his garments. Yet, there were still some that had gone deeper into his body. His nerves, muscles and bones there had been cut, lacerated and broken. His breathing was labored.

Severus could not feel his left arm anymore. But that had not been his concern. Lorena felt it. "Why are you so courageous, Severus ?" she asked gently. Her tears fell on his wounded shoulder.

Lorena gripped her Amaranth wand and focused her elemental magic on it. The wand responded beautifully. Severus felt the surge of power invade his battered body, a sweet warmth relieving his pain little by little.

Suddenly, Lorena lifted her head, gasping for air, clutching her shoulder, as if caught in a vise. Yet, she managed to keep focused and in physical contact with Severus. Her face reflected both pain and an intense concentration. She was processing the wound, connecting each severed nerve, mending the broken bones, restoring the muscles, expelling the venom still lingering in his flesh. Tears fell from her eyes, moans of pain escaped her lips.

Her shirt became soaked with blood and venom. A few words left her lips. Still clutching her Amaranth wand, she whispered, her lips contorted between pain and concentration to form the words.

"_Vulnera_… _Sanantur_… _Vulnera_… _Sanantur_… _Vulnera_… _Sanantur_…"

She focused on her love for him, tapping in her elemental magic, to send love waves upon love waves to him. Her free hand grasped his frock coat nervously, her lips were close to his face. She summoned all the energy she had, all her magic, channeling it into her Amaranth wand.

She was more aware of what she was doing, less surprised than the first time she had done this on his body, last Summer. She knew how painful the whole process would be but she was ready to face the it. She felt the venom passing onto her system, her metabolism processing it, changing each harmful molecule into another, innocuous this time, before rejecting it. She felt burnt inside as if a fire ravaged her innards.

Yet, something told her that venom was not the only substance she absorbed, processed and rejected. Something pertaining to Dark magic, that she could not identify. It went through her system too but was not processed and was plainly rejected, along blood and venom. She could not understand, she just had an intuitive, almost instinctive, notion of what it could be.

At one moment, Lorena let out a powerful scream. George was about to rush to his daughter and remove her from Severus' body. Moody and Sirius prevented him from doing so.

"No, George," the ex-Auror said softly.

"That's going to kill her !"

"No. Dumbledore told me your daughter is an empath. She can heal people." He had a serious look on his scarred face. "Give her, give him, a chance."

Draco was on his knees, nearby Lorena and Severus, the potions box open in front of him, ready in case something was needed. He had checked the various vials. Some were labeled as blood-replenishing potion, pain-killing potion, dittany of course, anti-venom. Others were not labeled. The young man gathered that the Potions Master had labeled only innocuous potions. Severus had talked about a poison capable to kill the Dark Lord. _He had the intention to use it… But Wormtail was constantly around. Severus had not planned that Wormtail would be there to check on him… Otherwise, the Dark Lord would have been dead already and nothing of all this would have happened. _A black vial which Draco had found in the box indeed.

Draco put Severus' and Lorena's Ebony wands in the potions box. He kept watching the young witch trying to save his godfather. If she managed to do so, he swore he would have her as his best friend and even sister for life.

Narcissa was nearby and watched the whole scene with fascination. She had gathered what was going on and was glad that both Sirius and Moody had prevented Lorena's father from interrupting the whole process – though risky it may be. She wanted her best friend to be saved.

Lorena cried again, gasping for air. At one moment, she even threw up a dark substance that landed on the ground beside her and Severus. Draco was close, he thought this could be the venom from Nagini. She really looked in pain and the sight of her suffering for the man she loved so dearly, so unconditionally, moved something deep inside of him.

He had a sad thought for them both._ Too much love will kill them both. _

* * *

_**Ah, I love these evil cliffies ! It is said that a good movie is first a good story with a good editing. I feel exactly the same here. **_

_**Will Severus make it alive ? Will Lorena **__**manage to save him or will she die in the process, sacrificing her life for him ?**_

"**Too Much Love Will Kill You"**_** – the title of both the story and the chapter – is of course taken from the famous Queen band song, one of my favorites from them. I must confess I had a hard time naming the story but this one popped up in my mind out of nowhere. It said it all so I kept it.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**__** I need encouragements and support ! PLEASE !**_


	133. For the Greater Good

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**133 – For the ****Greater Good**

In the distance, two wizards were dueling, invoking powerful forces of magic. Voldemort was younger than Albus, yet Albus was more experienced. But as the fight dragged on, the odds turned against the Headmaster. Though still powerful, his powers were declining.

He found himself Disarmed, kneeling in the grass. Oh, he could still do wandless magic. But he knew he would be no match against a powerful Dark wizard still in possession of his wand. He could hold for a few minutes but no more. Voldemort was standing in front of him, towering him with all his might, an triumphant, evil smirk on his face.

"You've lost, old man," he spat, his red eyes glinting with an evil mirth.

Albus Dumbledore had proved his value all along the fight – like a true member of the House of Gryffindor. Now he was in dire need of help.

* * *

The Sword of Gryffindor had been planted by Draco into the ground, nearby his mother, but out of Wormtail's reach. However, from what Draco knew about Hogwarts lore, Wormtail had no chance to use the Sword as he had proved countless times he was not a true member of the House of Gryffindor and had not earned the right to be helped by it.

The four wizards and the witch were so much fascinated by the empathic process taking place in front of them that they did not notice that the Sword had disappeared. Narcissa reacted when she turned her head, distracted by a sound. Her blue gaze fell on the place where the Sword had been planted into the ground.

"Professor Moody !" she called. "The Gryffindor Sword ! It disappeared !"

Sirius and Moody glanced at each other. _Uh-oh. Looks like somebody's in need of it. Somebody from Gryffindor,_ the ex-Auror thought.

"What does that mean ?" George asked.

"It means that somewhere, a true member of the House of Gryffindor is in need of it. In that case, the Sword comes to their rescue." Sirius shivered – he thought about Remus and hoped that his other friend was not the one in a sticky situation to the point the Sword appeared to him.

"But how come a sword could go and help someone in need ?"

Alastor went on. "The Sword of Gryffindor has a particular power. It absorbs anything that can make it stronger. It's a magical artifact that can destroy almost anything – including the most evil substances…"

"Evil ?" Sirius and George repeated the word, glancing at each other.

"Voldemort… Albus !" Moody concluded, a flicker of despair in his natural eye.

* * *

The Headmaster was on still on his knees in front of Voldemort.

"You're a fool, Albus Dumbledore, and you will lose everything !"

The Dark Lord smirked. Something thundered above Hogwarts. Both wizards' attention was drawn towards the castle. They glanced at it briefly.

"Tonight, Hogwarts shall be…" Voldemort said softly while smirking toward his adversary.

Suddenly, a mass of red and gold dived towards the Dark Lord. _Where's Nagini ?_ Voldemort thought. His familiar had never failed him.

Dumbledore's familiar had never failed his master either. Fawkes was now flying over Voldemort, trying to reach his eyes to claw them out. The Dark wizard fought against the phoenix. He tried to protect his eyes. His wand escaped his grasp as the bird picked at his wand arm with its sharp beak and talons.

Albus watched the scene with fascination and relief. His faithful phoenix had come to his help. But the red-and-gold bird was not the only help he received that night.

The Sword of Gryffindor materialized itself in the Headmaster's hands.

Albus Dumbledore silently praised Fawkes for its assistance. He also thanked Hogwarts for the precious seconds of diversion it had provided, which had allowed the phoenix to attack a Voldemort distracted from his task and now unable to cast hexes and curses. Maybe the castle's magic, to which he was tied up, had felt how much in trouble its Headmaster was at the present time.

And now, the Sword of Gryffindor. Albus blessed the soul of Godric Gryffindor, the Founder of the House to which he belonged. Tonight, he was a Gryffindor.

Though his Slytherin cunning kicked in quickly. Dumbledore secured his grip on the Gryffindor Sword and thrust it into the Dark Lord's chest with all the force he could muster. To the hilt.

Fawkes got away from its prey. Voldemort's eyes went bigger in horror. He stumbled backwards for a few steps, his pale hands gripping the sword. He glanced down at what had stricken him. The Sword of Gryffindor.

"Hogwarts… shall be… mine…" Voldemort stuttered before collapsing to the ground, on his back. A rivulet of blood escaped a corner of his mouth – a sure sign of the end. But like so many of his victims he had killed with the _Avada Kedavra_, his red eyes remained wide open even after the remains of his maimed soul had gone.

Albus Dumbledore let out a sigh of relief. He was weary but he knew he had accomplished his task. Fawkes perched itself on his shoulder and let out a few trills softly to soothe its master.

A clamor could be heard in the distance, coming from Hogwarts. Albus lifted his steely blue eyes towards the castle in sheer gratitude.

He fell to his knees, this time to thank the Providence that had not only saved him but also allowed him to vanquish the most dangerous Dark wizard of the time.

"It's over," was all he could utter.

* * *

In the grass, Wormtail rolled frantic eyes. His left forearm burnt like hell, like never before. He could not grab it, still under the Body-Bind hex, yet, it was unbearable.

Not very far, Severus had stopped moving. The healing process had taken mercy on him and he had let go. Ironically, thanks to the wound on his left shoulder, he had been unable to feel the pain from the Dark Mark, further to Voldemort's demise. He had passed out before.

Instead, Lorena screamed everything she had, clutching her own left forearm. She seemed to feel the pain Severus should have felt. She rejected more of the black substance she had already thrown up before. She closed her eyes, her body still agitated by violent tremors. In a last spasm, she passed out on her husband's body.

For long seconds, it looked like both spouses had died together in each other's arms. George reacted first. He managed to escape Sirius' and Moody's grip on him. He knelt besides Lorena and Severus, facing Draco.

He was about to touch the pair when he heard a deep voice and felt a hand on his shoulder. "No."

George turned his head towards whom the voice and hand belonged to. He recognized the Headmaster.

Fawkes left his shoulder and went to land in the grass, just besides Severus' head. He trilled softly, leaned his head towards the man's shoulder and began to shed tears. His tears fell on the wounded shoulder.

"Don't touch them," Albus said gently.

"They're dying ! My daughter's dying !"

"No, she's not. Neither is Severus. George… your daughter is an empath. She can heal people. Let her do. Do not interfere with her magic now. Trust me. Please."

George nodded. There were so many things he did not understand. "She's just like her grandma…" He swallowed hard.

Lorena stirred again. She opened her mouth, a gurgling sound coming out of her throat. More of the black substance spilled out. She still had her eyes closed. _I love you, Severus. I'll die for you. But our love cannot be destroyed. Never. Love will never kill us. Too much love… never kills._

* * *

Moody reacted then. "Albus ! What happened ?"

"I killed Tom, Alastor. A few minutes ago."

"The Gryffindor Sword… It was you ! It was for you !" Alastor's voice trailed off in emotion. He hugged his old friend, not only happy of the final outcome but also because Albus was here, alive and well. Godric Gryffindor had never failed them.

Albus nodded only. The Dark Lord had been the first person he had killed in his whole life. Yet, when he glanced at Severus, he thought about all the sufferings his Potions Master and spy had endured all these years to ensure victory, all the sins he had had to commit, all in the name of the Greater Good. Severus' soul was surely maimed yet he had found redemption in love. A love given by a young woman struggling to save his life now. Albus decided he could live with that strange feeling. _If Severus can do it, so can I._ He was the only one that could tell if his own soul had been ripped by this killing.

_No. It had been a mercy killing. Mercy for the whole world, Muggle and wizarding alike._ He sighed. _For the Greater Good._

"Are you alright, Albus ?" Alastor asked with concern.

Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, I'm fine. I'm fine." He glanced at the couple lying in the grass. "Let's take care of our people, Alastor. They need us."

"Where's Voldemort ?" Moody asked. "We need to make sure this devil won't disappear to come back in a few years' time."

It made sense. Albus nodded. "Over there, in the grass. You're right, Alastor. I want you and Draco Malfoy to come with me. To identify that he's been killed indeed."

Draco heard his name and stood up. "Yes, Professor ?"

"You and Professor Moody, you come with me to identify a corpse. Now."

The young man nodded. He and Moody followed Albus Dumbledore to where Voldemort's body was lying. The Sword of Gryffindor was still planted in his chest.

"That was neat, Albus," Alastor commented. "Square in the chest."

Draco gasped. Yet, he had seen enough horrors tonight not to be shocked by the gruesome sight. He was relieved. Tonight he would not receive the Dark Mark. Never.

Albus had retrieved his wand, as well as Voldemort's, and conjured up a stretcher. Moody and Draco confirmed this was the body of the Dark Lord, a.k.a. Lord Voldemort, a.k.a. Tom Marvolo Riddle. The corpse was laid on the stretcher. Dumbledore removed the sword, closed the man's eyes and lifted the Dark wizard's outer robe over his head.

"Take care of the wounded over there," he said while showing the small party in the grass. "Who else's wounded, except Severus ?"

"Lorena and my mother," Draco replied eagerly. "Otherwise, we're all just a bit bruised and burnt. Nothing serious."

"Good. Conjure up a stretcher for Narcissa, and another one robust enough to carry both Severus and Lorena. They must remain in physical contact together. That's essential if we want to save Severus. Understood ?"

Alastor and Draco nodded. "Now go. I'll bring Tom back to the castle myself," Albus said, his wand in one hand, the Gryffindor Sword in the other.

"Are you sure you'll be fine, Albus ?" Alastor asked again.

Dumbledore perceived his friend's concern. He patted his shoulder. "Yes, Alastor. Don't worry about me. Take care of them all instead. I'll be fine, I promise." He patted his shoulder again. "Remember, do not separate Severus from Lorena physically. Her healing magic is operating. Breaking the contact between them two could break the healing process and Severus would die. You tell that to Poppy, she knows about all this."

Moody nodded. "I'll see to that." The ex-Auror motioned the young Slytherin to follow him.

Albus waited for them to have gone before turning his gaze towards the corpse of the Dark Lord. He remembered the little boy he had met for the first time in that orphanage in London. He remembered the look in the boy's eyes when he had performed magic for the first time in front of him. A look of fascination, greed for power and might, had shone forth in his eyes.

Albus Dumbledore had never forgotten that look in the boy's eyes. Many years later, he still wondered about the fact that he had just met the most dangerous Dark wizard of the time… even more powerful than Gellert Grindelwald. Whom he had vanquished and was now in a cell in Nurmengard, studying, feeling remorse and repenting over his own errors. Something Tom Marvolo Riddle had never done.

_Another abandoned, neglected and lost boy… Pretty much like Severus. _Severus had also been another neglected and lost boy. There had been so much in common between Tom Riddle and Severus Snape – which may have greatly explained the attraction of the latter for the former. Yet, Severus had known what love and friendship were. Lily and Lorena had saved his soul somehow. He had seen the errors of his way and had sought a mean to atone for his past sins.

Albus raised his wand gracefully and the stretcher Levitated in the air. It moved in front of the Headmaster who carried the Gryffindor Sword in his other hand. That way, he began the way back to the castle.

He could have left the body there but did not wish Voldemort's remains to be abandoned. First, because the Dark wizard had been a student, a boy he had taught, for which he felt like a parental duty to. Second, he did not want any loyal follower or supporter of the Dark Lord to find him, bury him and the remains to become relics or whatever. There had been enough Dark magic around.

Tomorrow, the body would be burnt so as not to leave any traces, his yew wand would be snapped and most likely burnt with its owner. Dark magic contained in both body and wand had to be purified. Ironically enough, the old wizard thought, only fire could do that.

He had considered to let the body burn in the Fiendfyre of the Shack but decided against. He wanted as many people as possible to see that the Dark Lord had been vanquished and killed. There should be as many witnesses as possible to say the man had been destroyed so that no future return could be claimed as possible.

Fawkes came back to him and perched itself on its master's shoulder. The phoenix must have felt the old wizard's sadness as it began to sing gently into Albus' ears. The Headmaster thanked his familiar and caressed the bird's red-and-gold feathers.

Yet, Dumbledore thought it a duty to accompany his enemy in decent conditions and silence. Albus needed silence and solitude – not to mourn but to reflect on the events of the night.

* * *

_**For the Dark Lord's death, I got inspired **__**by the way the Sheriff of Nottingham (played by Alan Rickman) had been killed by Robin Hood in **_**Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves**_**. Thrusting the Sword of Gryffindor like that, in such a Slytherin fashion by Albus Dumbledore… yes, it looked suitable when playing in my mind prior to writing. A fitting death for Voldemort – and one well deserved in my opinion.**_

_**As for the description of the "abandoned, neglected and lost boys of Hogwarts" – I remember there's such a sentence in the **_**Deathly Hallows**_** book about these boys, describing Tom, Severus and Harry. All the three have known more or less the same unloved and miserable childhood, yet they all reacted differently and above all, they all made different choices once adults. I think the main message in JKR's books is the notion of choice. Considering these books have several levels of reading, one for kids, one for teenagers, one for adults, it's very interesting to think that we can all make mistakes and take wrong turns in life. But there's one choice we can make ultimately : to right our wrongs. Tom did not bother doing so. Severus did and he became a slave to two powerful masters before dying because of the consequences of his choices. Harry did the same thing as Severus, yet his initial choices were more positive and he had very few wrongs to correct. An interesting message for young people and even us adults.**_

_**Sorry about the philosophical rant but I wanted to share that with you all.**_

_**I had been fascinated by the child actor that plays young Tom Riddle in the orphanage, in the **_**Half-Blood Prince**_** movie. He was so true, he had captured the whole nature and character of the future Lord Voldemort so well. He knew how to give his eyes the fascinated and greedy look when Dumbledore displayed the power of magic. So I thought about him when writing about Voldemort above. Yes, I feel sorry for him too.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	134. A debt of honor

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**134 – A debt of honor**

Moody and Draco had come back to the others. The night became a bit chillier. Once again, Alastor organized things around. He conjured up a stretcher as per Albus' recommendations, that is, solid enough to carry two bodies.

The four men lifted Severus' and Lorena's bodies and carefully put them on the stretcher, without separating them. The couple was still alive, they could feel their pulse, yet they had not regained consciousness. Draco took the potions set with him.

Another stretcher was conjured up for Narcissa. Draco cast a Warming Charm on his mother as she felt cold now. George drew out his wand and suggested he could Levitate her. Draco let him do. He would accompany his godfather and his best friend, along with Sirius, Levitating them to the castle.

Alastor Moody conjured a last stretcher onto which he Levitated Wormtail. He cast another set of magical ties around Wormtail's body and the stretcher. He was in full Auror mode now, he would take care of this one himself. The official arrest would be made once at Hogwarts.

The whole party left the place. In the distance, the Shrieking Shack continued to burn slowly, last remnants of the night events.

* * *

Lorena and Severus were transported to the Hospital Wing at once. From what people there could see, they thought these two were casualties, as the couple did not move. They were just in each other's arms in a close embrace, their eyes closed. Sirius, Draco, George, Alastor and Narcissa were led there too for their own wounds.

Wormtail was brought to an empty, unused classroom in the dungeons that had been transformed into a jail. Other Death-Eaters were already there, either injured or unscathed, but all strongly tied, their wands confiscated by Minerva and stored in the Headmaster's office. About a dozen of the Dark Lord's followers had been made prisoners. The others had died. Those wounded and imprisoned would be treated after the others. Minerva had been ruthless but everybody had approved and accepted her decision without making a fuss.

Among the Death-Eater casualties, Rodolphus Lestrange. His wife Bellatrix and his brother Rabastan were among the prisoners caught alive. There was no news about how things had gone at the Ministry of Magic. Communications had been cut – there was no way to know.

Dumbledore arrived with the Dark Lord's remains. Everybody was relieved to see the outcome, that the old wizard had had the upper hand eventually. That Voldemort was dead. Yet, his face reflected a deep reflection. He was silent and serious. Yet, he was no longer sad or melancholic. He was the man in charge again.

Minerva came to him and hugged him. Her face showed a deep emotion. She was happy to see him back and she hugged him, relieved to know he had made it back alive and unscathed.

"Any casualties, Minerva ?" he asked softly.

"Eight students, among them Percy Weasley. Five former students. Three parents. Four Aurors. Ten house elves, they wanted to defend Hogwarts. They fought very bravely. Three Hogsmeade inhabitants, among them…" Her voice croaked. "Your brother, Albus… Aberforth… He fought like a lion to defend the castle."

Albus Dumbledore closed his eyes. He hugged Minerva back, letting his own tears fell on his cheeks. Things had never been easy with his younger brother but all the same. Aberforth was still his brother despite their past disagreements. He had accepted to fight in the Order, gleaning information in his pub in Hogsmeade. And now, he had died in the final fight.

After a full minute or two spent like this, Albus looked at Minerva. "Many injured ?"

"Yes, but nothing that cannot be treated actually," the Deputy Headmistress managed to say.

"Any prisoners ?"

"About a dozen of Death-Eaters. We imprisoned them in a classroom heavily warded in the dungeons. They are tied and their wands are now in your office. Some of them are injured but our priority goes to our people. Those who are dead have been regrouped outside, between the castle and the Quidditch pitch. The Aurors have set up a tent they're guarding. They are now busy taking care of them, for identification purposes. Our own dead have been carried inside, in a classroom, to keep them with dignity before their families come to claim them." A glint of determination shone forth in her eyes.

Albus nodded. "You did fine, Minerva. And yourself ? The others ?"

"I'm fine, Albus, just a few bruises. Filius has been Stunned but he's recovered already. Pomona got a few bruises but otherwise, she's fine. I've sent her to check the damages made to the castle. Aurora and Sybill were safe with the underage students, as well as Ms Pince. They're sending the students back to their dormitories. They take care of the kids with the help of the house elves and the other teachers. The elves will prepare dinner and bring it in the common rooms for them. Our priority goes to the children. The Slytherin students are still in the Room of Requirement. I didn't wish them to be too close to the dungeons where we're keeping the Death-Eater prisoners. They'll stay there for the time being. Hogwarts had been kind enough to make the Room of Requirement look like the Slytherin common room, so they won't be too much disturbed."

Her gaze fell on the stretcher still Levitated besides Dumbledore. Minerva glanced at it. "Tom ? And what are you doing with the Sword of Gryffindor ?"

Albus nodded. "Yes, Minerva, that's him. He had Disarmed me, but Fawkes came to my rescue, creating a much needed diversion. The Gryffindor Sword appeared in my hands shortly after. I killed Voldemort with it. Hogwarts had distracted him somehow. Me and Fawkes took advantage of these few seconds to strike."

Minerva nodded. She did not dare remove the black robe covering the face of the Dark Lord. She had another person in mind, a question that burnt her tongue. "Albus… what about… Severus ?"

He had a sad look for her. "He's seriously injured. Lorena… she did the same thing to him than last Summer. She also gave him a bezoar. Fawkes has shed tears over his wound."

"How is he seriously wounded ?"

"He's been bitten by Nagini, according to Alastor who found him and Lorena in the Shack before it burnt to the ground. His left shoulder is… I hope he could keep his left arm, if you see what I mean."

Minerva put a hand over her mouth, in horror. She knew that if the Potions Master were to lose an arm, it would be difficult for him to continue teaching, whether the Dark Arts or Potions. Alastor had lost a leg but he had a replacement to help him stand up and fight. While an arm… that was entirely different.

"And I'm not even sure if he can make it alive. Maybe Nagini's venom is powerful enough to override the bezoar. I don't know."

Minerva patted Albus' shoulder gently. She knew about the feelings the Headmaster had for his Potions Master, which he considered like a son.

"And you said that the Shrieking Shack had burnt ?"

"Yes, to the ground. Someone cast the Fiendfyre to it, hoping to burn Severus and Lorena inside as Severus was critically wounded and Lorena blind."

"The Fiendfyre ?" the old witch said with a horrified look on her face. She knew the power of the Cursed Fire. "Who did cast it ?"

"According to Sirius, Peter Pettigrew has."

"Peter Pettigrew ? I thought he was dead ! And Sirius ? What was he doing here ?"

"He had left the Headquarters with George Nottingham. I don't know the details." His steely blue eyes had a serious look. "I do intend to ask them why they were here, while keeping in mind that they saved Severus and Lorena, with Draco Malfoy and Alastor."

Two Aurors came to them, interrupting their conversation. Albus showed them the stretcher that carried Lord Voldemort and ordered them to keep a close eye on the body. He also instructed them to make sure that the press and the Ministry of Magic be made aware that the Dark Lord was dead. The body would be burnt later. He kept Voldemort's yew wand – he would burn it later, separately. "We have a shelter where we regrouped the bodies of You-Know-Who's followers. We can store him there."

"Yes, provided it's under close guard. Nobody should be able to steal the body and make relics or whatever Dark magic with it. Tomorrow, we shall burn it."

"Yes, sir, understood. Should we use a particular fire ?"

Albus Dumbledore gathered what the Auror meant. "I shall cast the Fiendfyre myself. The fire that destroys Dark magic."

The two Aurors glanced at themselves, ill-at-ease. "Don't worry, I know the counter-curse."

* * *

Hogwarts had not sustained any particular damage, except for a few windows and stained glasses that had been destroyed. Some doors had been blasted. Some paintings and statues and suits of armors have sustained damages but nothing that could not be repaired. There would be time for that.

Albus touched the first wall he met to enter into closer contact with the castle. He felt its magic and smiled. Hogwarts would recover. He also thanked the castle for the diversion it had provided during his duel with the Dark Lord. Hogwarts responded in kind.

Then Dumbledore directed his steps towards the classroom that had been fixed to receive the mortal remains of the people that had fought and fallen in the fight against the Dark Side. He remained a long time there, paying his respects to each of them. He noted the names of the students that had died that night on a conjured up parchment, to write to their parents – the most difficult task he had to carry out as a Headmaster. But he would do it. He resented the fact that he had not been able to keep them all out of harm's way. Yet, they had all chosen to stay and fight to defend their school. They were the honor and pride of Hogwarts.

He also visited the classroom where the living Death-Eaters have been jailed. The room was located conveniently in the dungeons. _How ironic,_ he thought. In the Slytherin area that most of them, if not all of them, had inhabited for seven years. In the same area that was Severus' domain as Potions Master and Head of the House of Slytherin. Severus, the reformed Death-Eater.

_Severus, my friend, __my confident, my son._

Severus, that had suffered so much for the Order, for the Light Side, out of love. For both Lily and Lorena. Severus, his spy, his right hand man, one of the firmest pillars of the Order.

Albus felt an irrepressible urge to go and see the Potions Master. Maybe the younger wizard was dying. He needed to go and see him to bid him goodbye and tell him how much grateful he was to him for everything he had done for the Order, how much he was proud of him, how much he loved him like a son.

Albus entered the Potions Master's quarters. With the Floo there, he should be in the Hospital Wing in no time. External Floo was down but not the internal network.

* * *

Severus and Lorena were lying on the same enlarged bed. Poppy had kept them in contact – she knew the tune. This time, she trusted Lorena's magic.

The medi-witch and the other Healers that had come in reinforcements from St. Mungo, had been appalled by Severus' condition. No doubt he was one of the most critically injured people in the ward now. Poppy had been very adamant as to the fact that the two spouses should remain in physical contact at any cost. Nobody dared challenge her. She had also received the backup of Alastor Moody in this regard.

The Snapes were now lying in bed, side by side, hand in hand, his right shoulder against her left shoulder. Fawkes was perched above Severus' head and from time to time, he shed a tear or two over the wound. Poppy had removed his garments using magic. A bed sheet covered his body. He was pale. A Healer found that he had ingested a bezoar. A dose of anti-venom from his potions box had been handed over by Draco to Poppy. It had been given to Severus. Now, only time could tell.

Lorena's condition was no better as she had taken a great part of his wound onto her own body. Her right arm, cut during the first part of the ritual, showed a bad wound, despite the dittany. Her long shirt was soaked with blood on her left shoulder. Some of the black substance had spilled onto her shirt too and from time to time, some of it was rejected from her mouth. The Healers had put in place a system that allowed the removal of the substance so that she may not suffocate from it. They took some of it for analysis. Poppy had also put a stasis on her breasts to stop milk production temporarily. It could be restored later if she still wanted to breastfeed her child.

_If she makes it alive_, the medi-witch thought with anxiety.

Albus found the two spouses together. He was glad that his instructions had been respected. Lorena was still unconscious. Yet, the Healers asserted that her vitals were more than active. They could not grasp the phenomenon. Albus explained to them that the young woman was an empath, that her magic worked through her body to heal her husband. He also asked to be informed about the strange black substance she rejected. He had a hunch about it but kept it for himself, as he did not wish to influence the Healers' findings.

Narcissa was lying in a bed, her son Draco sitting there with her. Her sprained ankle and her broken leg were under treatment, as well as her cuts and bruises. It was painful but bearable. She was utterly worried by Severus' condition. Draco did his best to soothe his mother. He had been treated for minor burns.

She explained to Dumbledore what had happened to her after the Dark Lord had kidnapped her. He had tortured her briefly but intensely, to punish her of her love as a mother – a weakness in his sight. Like every time he did not understand something, Voldemort was in a rage. He had Cruciated her, broken her leg. She had sprained her ankle when he had dragged her in the grass after they had Apparated in the meadows. He had released her when Dumbledore had showed up. Draco had managed to find his mother while the two wizards were fighting, and bring her to safety away from them.

George, Sirius and Moody have also been treated for their burns, cuts and bruises. George was distraught over his daughter's condition too. Albus went to him to explain how Lorena's magic worked, that she should recover.

"She won't recover if her… husband dies," he merely stated.

"How did you know that Severus is her husband ?"

"I'm quite observant, Professor. Alan is the spitting image of his father. The two times I saw them together, he was very protective of her, very caring. And tonight, I found them in the same burning place, coiled against each other. My daughter almost had a nervous breakdown when I got her out of the blaze because she left him there. I gathered that she had feelings for him. He was relieved that she could escape. Rarely seen such a devotion in a man for his woman."

The last sentence warmed up Albus' heart. "Severus… is a very devoted man. When he loves, he never does things by halves. He's a whole individual. Lorena's very lucky to have him. He went through many trials in his life. He's also very lucky to have her. She's been a blessing for him."

"I hope you're right. I would hate to tell my daughter that the man she loves is dead. He's been a blessing for her too – he protected her all along. He was the one that prevented Voldemort from taking her virginity, wasn't he ? By taking it himself ?"

Albus nodded. Severus would kill him to have disclosed this detail of his love life. Yet, he was talking to Lorena's father.

"He's the one which had taken that Vow with her to ensure her safety, her protection and her future, isn't he ?"

"Yes, he is," Albus confirmed. "They married on March 21st, secretly, for their own safety. Severus had thought that if he had to die but Lorena was to live, she and their son would not be left destitute in our world."

"So thoughtful, so caring, so… loving," George said.

"Do I understand that you approve ?" Albus asked.

George took a moment to reply. "Yes… I was angry when I learned about her pregnancy, to tell the truth. But Severus… had been right when he had threatened to hex me on that day. He was defending his woman. His woman's honor. He's a man of honor and it happens that I greatly value that. Especially when it comes to my daughter."

"I'm glad to hear it, George, but I think Severus will be even more so."

"Do you think he's going to survive ?"

"He will. I trust Lorena's healing capacities. She's a very powerful witch."

"Just like her grandma. My mother." He smiled. "She was a powerful witch. Now I do remember stuff that had happened. A remarkable woman, clever and cunning, determined and resourceful."

"A Slytherin. While you tonight, George, you behaved like a Gryffindor, with courage and bravery. Alastor told me how you managed to save Sirius and Severus from the burning Shack." A pause. "Alastor and I belong to that House too. Trust me and Alastor to recognize a Gryffindor when we see one."

George seemed to think about Albus' words. He nodded.

"By the way, George, tell me… How come you and Sirius had found yourselves here, in the middle of a battle, while I believed you were both safe in London ?" Albus asked. "Not that I blame you, you and Sirius saved my Potions Master and Lorena. I also heard that you're the one that convinced Sirius to keep alive Peter Pettigrew for a future trial so that Sirius could be a free man again."

"I think you'd find me more Slytherin than Gryffindor on this one, Professor," George replied with a tiny grin.

"We're a few ones to have qualities from both Houses. Severus is one, and so am I. Well ?"

"It's my fault, Albus," Sirius said. "I've suggested the idea."

"We both agreed that we needed… a piece of the action," George added. "And a bit of fresh air."

Albus Dumbledore watched the two wizards as if they were two fifth-year students guilty of mischief. He knew that pattern. For a brief moment, he had the feeling he was transported back some twenty odd years ago, when a certain Sirius Black and a certain James Potter, created havoc in Hogwarts with their pranks. "Well, doing so, you nearly get yourself killed out of lack of air in the Shack, Sirius."

"I could not let Severus die, Albus. Now…" His voice became grave. "I've repaid my debt. The debt of honor I had contracted some twenty odd years ago… when I had lured Severus into the Shack during one of Remus' transformations during the full moon." A pause. "Slytherins are not the only ones to have honor, you know."

"I'm glad to hear that, Sirius. I think you should tell Severus about it."

"I will, don't you worry, Albus. I will. I haven't get him out of the Shack alive to have him die here in Hogwarts."

* * *

_**Severus' and Lorena's lives are still suspended to the thin thread hanging between life and death.**__** Will they make it eventually ? Dumbledore thinks they should. And you, dear readers ?**_

_**Sirius seems to be adamant on repairing the mistakes of the past. He has grown up eventually, we may say. Will Severus be wise enough to let go of that past and bury these painful past events as well as his twenty odd years grudge against the Marauders ?**_

_**Maybe the fact that they share a common animosity against Wormtail, will help them overcome their own animosity**__** for each other.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	135. Back to the land of the living

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**13****5 – Back to the land of the living**

On the day after, Severus woke up. There was someone sitting by his side. His vision was blurred but he managed to focus on the person after long seconds.

"Severus !" exclaimed a voice the Potions Master recognized at once.

He groaned. He had recognized the man. _This is it. I'm in Hell… Not that I don't deserve it, _he thought sourly. Well, the last thing he remembered looked pretty much like Hell. Fire, smoke, fire brands falling on them. An excruciating pain bursting out from his left shoulder and radiating throughout his whole body. A devil called Nagini. The bite. Blood and venom. He was not alone and the very man that was sitting beside his bed had joined him in some dark recess of Hell. _Sirius Black. I'm stuck in Hell with Sirius Black. Forever._ He imagined there could not be worst punishment than to endure the company of his nemesis for the rest of eternity. He did not mind Hell – as long as it was on his own.

"Severus ! You're awake !"

_Ah ? __Awake ? I thought I should be dead. _

Severus rolled his eyes to assess his surroundings. He recognized the place. Hell looked pretty much like… the Hospital Wing in Hogwarts. _Maybe I'm not in Hell. Maybe I've been put in triage somewhere pending the decision where to put me and that mangy mutt for eternal retribution._

He had a smirk. It meant that no-account Sirius Black would pay for everything he had done in his days at Hogwarts eventually. _Should serve him right._

He heard a feminine voice he recognized too. No, it could not be possible that Poppy Pomfrey had followed them in Hell. Or Hell's waiting room. Or whatever.

"Severus…" she called with a soft voice. "Severus, can you say something ?"

"Lo… re… na…" his voice croaked.

"She's here, with you, besides you. Don't worry." She took his left arm. "Do you feel your left arm ?"

There was a very light pressure, almost imperceptible. "No…" Then it dawned on him. He had lost his arm. _No, she would not ask this._ He had lost the use of his arm. He still had his limb on but it would be useless now.

Poppy must have read the distress in his eyes. "You still have your arm, Severus. It's just it is not responding as some nerves have been severed. But you're alive, Severus, that's the most important."

_Lorena is alive ! _That_ is the most important !_

Out of reflex, Severus clenched his right hand. This one was working. Thanks Merlin, his wand hand. Also, he had felt something warm when he had tightened his hand. An object. Another flesh too. He turned his head towards the right, slowly. He winced when he felt his neck muscles straining on his left shoulder muscles – or what was left of them. It was too painful.

Someone was lying besides him. He focused on his contact telepathy. And he knew. He knew that Lorena was there, at his side, like she had been last Summer, when she had saved him, after he had been seriously injured after a summon from the Dark Lord.

"Is… the… Dark… Lord…" He could not finish.

This time, Sirius replied. "Yes, Severus. Dumbledore killed him. You're free. We're all free."

Severus felt the sting of tears in his eyes. He closed his eyes, happy to know that he was free and not alone in his new freedom. Lorena was there, by his side, free too. He felt the magic flowing from her. He tightened his grip on her hand even more.

"And I've repaid the debt of honor I had with you, Severus," Sirius said.

The Potions Master managed to raise an eyebrow in question.

"I had lured you into the Shrieking Shack some twenty years ago. I pulled you out of it, with George's help, to be honest. My debt to you is fully paid back now."

Severus understood what he meant. They did not need extra words. He just nodded in acknowledgment. Now was a time for peace and reconciliation indeed.

* * *

Two days later, Severus had recuperated enough to be able to walk. He had been fit enough to attend the burning of the Dark Lord's body. Albus Dumbledore had insisted that Voldemort's body be shot by the _Daily Prophet_'s photographs. He wanted that everybody could see that the menace was over – even if another Dark wizard could rise in the next decade or century.

The Headmaster had invited everyone from the British wizarding community that could come to Hogwarts in order to witness the definitive end of Lord Voldemort.

A stake had been raised on the grounds outside Hogwarts, in the meadows nearby the Shrieking Shack, which was now reduced to a heap of ashes still smoking. Albus had insisted to bring Tom Riddle's body himself – he did not wish anybody to be in contact with the Dark Lord's corpse. Not even Severus. Above all not Severus.

Once there, he cast the Fiendfyre to the stake. Hundreds of wizards and witches have flocked to Hogsmeade to see this. The Minister for Magic himself, the Ministry officials, the press, all have come to see disappear Lord Voldemort, the Dark Lord, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Tom Marvolo Riddle, You-Know-Who. The wizard that had terrorized them for so many years.

The crowd had been contained to a specific area while the stake was alone in the meadow, due to the danger of the Cursed Fire. Only a few people had been admitted around the stake. Albus cast the Fiendfyre over the stake, with Severus and the Minister for Magic at his sides.

The stake caught fire quickly. In a few seconds, the whole thing was ablaze. An intense black smoke rose into the bright sunny sky, as well as a grand clamor from the crowd, made up of shouts and claps. Severus had a hard time to contain his tears. Not that he was mourning his Master. On the contrary, he felt intensely relieved and free. For the first time in ages, he was free.

Albus was busy controlling the Fiendfyre. Fawkes had felt the younger wizard's strong feelings. The phoenix had come to perch itself on his right shoulder, trilling softly into his ears to soothe him. Severus welcomed the bird with a light pat on its red-and-gold feathers.

Lord Voldemort had departed forever. Severus' days of slavery and misery were over. Definitively.

Watching the black smoke rising to the sky in a thick column, Severus made himself a silent promise : Should another Dark Lord rise again, he would not follow him, despite his past and own taste and attraction for the Dark Arts. He thought about Lorena. He would not need to prove anything to her, he would not need to impress her, like he had wanted to with Lily. Her love was proof enough.

* * *

Severus had felt better since Voldemort's burning at the stake. Yet, he still lived at the Hospital Wing to be with Lorena. His left arm was in a sling so that his mangled shoulder may not support his limb. He was no longer bleeding yet the scars would remain. Lorena had managed to connect his nerves first, then his muscles and sinews, thanks to her empathy and healing skills. Skele-Gro had helped cure his collarbone and shoulder blade that had been crushed by Nagini's fangs. He began to feel again various sensations such as cold, hot, air draft, water, pain when needles were planted on his arm skin, or pleasure when a hand or a feather caressed him there, to test his sensitivity.

A Healer specialized in re-education had been assigned to help him to regain control of his limb. He had told Severus that he would recover but that would require efforts and perseverance from him, and that the whole process would take time. Severus being Severus, he just nodded in agreement. He would do it, he needed his both hands to brew and teach. Most of all, he wanted to hold his wife and son with his both hands. The last thing he wanted was to remain crippled for the rest of his days just because of a blasted snake. He was a Slytherin after all !

Lorena had not regained consciousness yet. Severus spent most of his time holding her hand in his, whispering her sweet words, caressing her face and hair.

As she was still vomiting some of that black substance, the Healers had installed a Muggle-inspired system, magicked to aspire it so that she may not end up suffocating. They had also taken samples of it for further analysis. Yet, Severus had suspicions. He could feel that the black substance reeked with Dark magic. He began to have doubts when he noticed that his Dark Mark was fading.

Severus had never known how the Dark Lord made the Dark Mark. This was forbidden magic, most likely the most well guarded secret around. Voldemort had never elaborated about it – not even to his Potions Master. Asking questions to the Dark Lord was not something Death-Eaters contemplated doing lightly, even when their Master was in a good mood. Besides, the matter of taking the Dark Mark was too serious a business to dwell on how it was made actually. Too serious and very, very painful.

Severus remembered when he had taken the Dark Mark. It had been horrendously painful, as if a foreign substance had been not only printed onto his flesh but also forced under his skin, inside his very body. His arm had burnt and bled for a few days after. Fortunately, Lucius Malfoy had been kind enough to help him go through all this.

_Could it be possible that this black substance__… dark… be the poison of the Dark Mark ?_ He watched his wife. _Why did she do that ?_ He had lived with the Dark Mark for so many years that he was used to it and the substance that contained the Dark magic operating it. He could live with it for the rest of his days.

_Why did you need to do that ? __Why do you need to be so courageous… so loving ?_

Severus thought that if she was in this condition, that was because of him. _I can't live without you, Lorena. _If she died, it would be his last crime. But one for sure, too many. And the worst, even worse than Lily's death had been.

* * *

Severus and George had begun to get really anxious about Lorena's condition. One week she had not woken up yet. The Healers and Poppy said that her vitals were strong and very active but she was still out cold. Both men stayed with her, sometimes in complete silence, taking turns on their vigil over her. They began to feel desperate.

When he was alone, Severus read her poetry. He had brought back the book she enjoyed from his Spinner's End home. Sometimes, he let his tears fall on his cheeks. He focused his love on her. He even kissed her lips hoping it would wake her up like he had heard of in Muggle fairy tales. But he was too old to believe in fairy tales.

One morning he was with Lorena, he was silently crying, her hand in his. He had become quite good at sending love waves to her. He besought her to come back to him.

Then he heard a sound, like a hoarse whisper.

"Sev…" Lorena's head moved a little. Severus raised his head towards her. He sat closer, his left hand still keeping her hand, while his right hand caressed her cheek.

"Se… ve… rus…"

"Yes, Lorena, I'm here, love." He squeezed her hand in his. It had been the first time she talked since that dreadful night.

The Healers had removed the device that collected the black substance as she had not rejected any for the last two days.

She swallowed hard. Then her eyes fluttered open. Severus gasped. They had retrieved their usual pale blue, the same hue she had before going blind.

She gasped on her turn. Her eyes caught a glimpse of the man hovering over her before welling up with tears and closing shut all of a sudden. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

Severus began to wipe her tears with his thumb, very gently. He spoke with that silky, rich, deep voice of his. "Lorena… Come back to me… Lorena… I'm here… You're safe…"

"Severus…" she said with difficulty. She swallowed. Then she tried to open her eyes again. Slowly, very slowly. Her vision blurred, she was making obvious efforts to focus. Tears fell and she managed to see better. She gasped again when her gaze fell on the man so close to her.

Severus backed off. He had gathered what was happening. He had expected it with the death of the Dark Lord. The blinding curse cast at her had been lifted. She had a look in her eyes that made no mistake. "Appearances are not what they should be. You're disappointed," he said with a tone that showed he was more hurt than angry.

"No !" she uttered while gasping for air. She grabbed his left forearm – exactly where the Dark Mark had been. Severus felt nothing there of the usual pain this contact should have entailed. He had recovered his sense of touch on his limb.

"Severus… stay with me…"

"I look ugly to you," he said coldly. "I know I am."

She knew it would do no good to feel sorry or anything. She sent him a love wave. A few tears escaped her eyes. "Severus… it's just that… after almost two years spent… as a blind person… I'm no longer used to light…" She sniffled. "You have the face… of love for me… Severus." Her hand on his left forearm went up to touch his face. "You are the face of love for me… You always will." She caressed his cheek and smiled. "I love you... No matter how you look like." Her lips trembled. "Because… because I know that… deep down you… beyond looks… you're the bravest man... and most beautiful soul… around…"

Her words seemed to have an effect on him. His pent-up anxiety unleashed itself and he buried his face against her bosom, letting go of silent tears, his hands grasping her body as if his very life depended on it. "I doubted you, Lorena. I'm sorry," he said softly. How he could have done such a thing to her while she had almost given her life to save his, just out of love ? "Forgive my ungratefulness !"

She smiled and stroked his hair gently, marveling at their softness. "Shhh… That's okay… Severus…" She could feel he was crying and it soothed her that he was able to let it go.

They remained in each other's arms for long minutes before Ms Pomfrey found them as such.

"Oh, Lorena ! You're awake !" the medi-witch exclaimed.

The younger witch opened her eyes, this time with less difficulty. She was getting used to light. "Obviously." Her reply brought a smile on Severus' lips.

"Sorry to interrupt, Severus," Poppy said when she noticed the dark form on the bed. He had quickly dried his eyes before removing himself from his wife. He did his best to avert his gaze from the medi-witch. Though Poppy had patched him up so many times, she had never seen him really cry – or he believed so. He did not wish anybody to see him like this, except Lorena.

Poppy went to Lorena's side to check on her. "How do you feel ?"

"I can see… Ms Pomfrey."

"You can see what ?" the medi-witch asked absent-mindedly, busy as she was running tests with her medi-wand. The sentence had not clicked into her mind obviously.

"I'm no longer… blind."

Poppy stopped in the middle of a muttered incantation. She raised her gaze to the young woman on the bed. "You just said what ?"

"I'm no longer blind... I can see the light !"

Poppy looked at the younger witch with attention as if she had never seen her before. Her eyes were blue. She realized the words she had just heard. "Of course, the curse ! The blinding curse ! Oh, that's really great news !"

She resumed her tests. Apparently, everything was fine, except for a bit of exhaustion. "Looks like you've recovered, Lorena. Let me check your shoulder."

The scars had gone. During the empathic process, the young witch had taken Severus' wound on her skin and in her flesh. Now, her skin looked as smooth as if nothing had ever happened. Poppy gave her a strengthening potion to drink. Lorena felt better. Her muscles obeyed her more.

"I want to see… my son," she said softly.

"I'll ask Molly to bring him back to us. He's still with her," Severus said.

"Ms Pomfrey… how much time… have I been… out ?"

"A week."

"A week ? So that means… how was Alan fed ?"

"Molly Weasley had found a young witch that could breastfeed our son," Severus replied. "We… We didn't know how much time you'd be out."

Lorena sighed. "You did fine, Severus... Ms Pomfrey, do you know… if I could breastfeed my son ? After all this…"

The medi-witch smiled. "The Healers have put a stasis charm on your breasts so that you may stop producing milk during the healing process. Once the charm is lifted, your breasts will be able to give milk again. I can lift the charm now but you'll be able to feed your baby only from tomorrow on."

Lorena nodded. "Yes, please, do."

"You'll have to eat and drink enough so that you may breastfeed correctly. Severus, I trust you'll see to it," Poppy said after having lifted the stasis charm from the young witch.

"I will, Poppy."

Severus smiled at Lorena. "I want my son back, Severus. Bring my son back to me, please !"

"I will, Lorena. However, I think that Alan should stay with Molly and that young witch that nurses him for one more day. Time for you to be able to feed him again."

Lorena had a sad look on her face. Yet she could understand that waiting one more day would be for the good of her child. She nodded. She knew he was right. He took her hand in his and squeezed it gently.

"I promise you, Lorena. I'll never let anything or anybody separate us three from now on. Ever."

She looked at him and smiled, despite her tears. "Oh, Severus !" She sit up on the bed and hugged him. "I love you."

Severus returned the hug. "I love you too," he whispered into her ear, his face buried in her thick mane of raven locks.

She was back in his arms again, safe and sound, the most beautiful gift life had ever handed him. The Love-Snakes ring tickled at his finger as he felt all her love being lavished onto him. He hugged her even more closely, sending her all the love he had for her in his heart, in his soul.

* * *

_**Ah, the thing you were all waiting for !**_

_**I could not prevent some "friendly" banter between Sirius and Severus, of course.**_

_**But hang on, folks, it's not over yet ! So bear with me… other developments to ensue ! So you'd better stay tuned, OK ?**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	136. Aftermath

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**136 – Aftermath**

Draco knocked at the door of Severus' office. Since he had known that Lorena had moved in, he preferred to access his godfather's quarters through his office. The Potions Master invited in inside.

"What is it, Draco ?"

"Nothing personal, Severus. Just a request regarding… my career."

"Your career ?" the older wizard asked while watching the young man carefully. "I thought your career would be to manage the Malfoy wealth now your father's dead."

Draco sustained his godfather's gaze on him. "Let's say I'd leave that kind of activities to my mother. She's cunning and business-wise enough to do that. No… I have other plans, to be honest."

Severus remained unreadable. "Go on, then."

Draco took a deep breath. He felt sure of himself now, able to stand as an adult in front of his godfather. The war had changed him, the events that had happened in the Shack had made him grow up inside even faster. "Severus… I want to become a Potions Master. I'd like to know if you could help me find a Master that would accept me as his Apprentice after I graduated here."

That was said. Draco held his godfather's gaze, determination shining forth in his blue eyes.

Severus was as usual. "I must admit that I'm surprised. Though you are a serious student and a good brewer, it takes a lot to become a Potions Master. Are you sure this is the path you wish to follow ?"

"Yes, I am." Draco had spoken with determination, his eyes locked with his godfather's.

"And tell me what your motives are, behind that decision of yours ? What had made you consider such a career ?"

Draco released his breath. "I want to make a difference, Severus. By researching, by teaching, by creating really useful stuff. I don't want to end up a vain, power-hungry man like my father was. Actually…" His voice trailed off. He lowered his eyes before locking them again with Severus'. "Actually, you're my godfather but I think you set a far better example to me than my father ever did."

Severus' eyes narrowed on the younger man. Draco knew that the Potions Master was about to use Legilimency on him. He felt the intrusion in his mind a few seconds later. He let him enter. He had nothing to hide, nothing to lose in front of him.

After a full minute spent like this, Severus retreated from Draco's mind. "I can see that your motives are true. And that you enjoyed running a class a certain morning when I had to leave in emergency."

Draco smiled. "Yes. I felt what you must feel then, when you teach the kids. Power over them by making them cower but also the power of imparting knowledge to them."

"Power without control is nothing, Draco," Severus said sharply.

"Oh, I agree. I saw it first hand in the Shack." He lowered his eyes in a stance that Severus had never seen him have – or never imagined to see in him one day. Humility. "Severus, I have so much to learn in terms of control before using power to influence people, especially students, I mean… influence them to shape their future, influence to mold their minds into something coherent."

"You're a Malfoy. You can influence people."

"Like my father did ?" the young man replied with a hint of bitterness. "See how he ended ! He ended up being the one under influence. I don't want this. I want _me_, Draco Malfoy, to be the influence in the field that I'd choose. Not just rely on my family name. Now I'm free from both my father and the Dark Lord, I think I can choose the path I wish to follow, what I truly want to be. Can you understand ?"

"I do, Draco. Then again, I'm afraid that you may find teaching a rather disappointing road after a few years."

"I don't know, Severus. I don't really know. Only experience may tell. But there's one thing that you and Lorena taught me that night in the Shack."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "And that is ?"

"That one person can make a difference, with each and every fiber of their being. I want to be such a person, not just the next Malfoy."

This time, Severus did lower his eyes. Draco went on.

"You made a difference that night, Severus, when you said 'no' to the Dark Lord, when you stood up for the woman you love, against his will. You almost die for this. For her. That is one example I talked about earlier." He cringed. _My father did not do so much for me and my mother._

Severus had never thought his service as a double-agent in such terms. He had just been a pawn, a slave to two powerful masters. Yet, Draco was right. His first act of freedom in ages had been to say 'no' to the Dark Lord. How all this was true : he had almost died for her. Not only he would have because of the Unbreakable Vow's magic but he would have _willingly_ forfeited his own life because he truly loved her.

"Lorena made a difference when she protected us three from the Dark Lord's curses. Me first, when he cast the Cruciatus Curse on me. I felt it but it bounced back. Then her protection extended onto my mother and you." A pause. "She made a difference too that night, just by the power of her feelings of love and friendship. I won't forget. Never."

Severus was moved by his godson's words. He had to admit that he was right all along the line. "Alright, Draco. Give me a week. Your request is founded, considering your school results in Potions. I will examine it with all due care."

The young man smiled. "Thank you, Severus. I trust you will."

He was about to go out when Severus called him. "Oh, Draco ?"

"Yes, Severus ?"

"Good luck for your NEWTs."

Draco grinned broadly to his godfather. "Thank you ! I won't disappoint you."

"I trust you won't."

* * *

Lorena had resumed her classes along with the other students – she had insisted to do so one month after giving birth. Alan stayed in their quarters, with Ziggy to keep an eye on him. She still breastfed him, expressing her milk so that her son could still be nourished with the best thing for him. Now that she had recovered her eyesight, things were easier too. She also lived with Severus in his quarters. The Dark Lord had been brought down, the other remaining Death-Eaters jailed, there was nothing more to fear. The truth had been told. Her housemates had rejoiced that her son had been born – instead of being miscarried, as they had been told first.

A few days after resuming class, Lorena was sitting besides Draco, at the Slytherin table. He was very happy to be her son's godfather. He took his part very seriously, enquiring often about his godson, visiting him any time he could, even if it was just to take him in his arms. This got them closer, like brother and sister – after all, they were distant relatives, but relatives all the same.

Draco was having breakfast with her when he received an owl bearing a parchment bearing the seal of his godfather. He unrolled it quickly, almost sure about the topic of the message.

_Mr Malfoy,_

_You contacted me regarding a possible Apprenticeship in Potions you would accept further to your graduation at Hogwarts. _

_I am sorry to inform you that all my colleagues qualified as Masters in that field, cannot take you as such, as they all already have an Apprentice._

_However, in consideration of your excellent grades all along your curriculum in general, and in Potions in particular, I would accept you as an Apprentice under my care, provided you graduate successfully. My requirement is that you get an 'O' in Potions for your NEWTs._

_All the best for your upcoming NEWTs exams._

_Professor S. Snape  
__Potions Master  
__Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry_

Draco's jaw dropped. He could not believe what he had just read. He had to read it twice again to be convinced that the words on the parchment were real.

He had just been offered a position as an Apprentice under the supervision of one of the most talented Potions Masters of his time – if not the best. What had not escaped him was the fact he had managed to get this because he had been a good student – not because he was the son of Lucius Malfoy. For the first time in his life, Draco felt he had deserved something solely because of his own worth – not because of his name and his father's network. Just for that, he wanted to cry.

Lorena noticed the strange look on his face. "What's going on, Draco ? Bad news ?"

He glanced at her, not knowing what to say. He just handed her the parchment. She read it and let out a small shriek of joy before hugging him. "Oh, Draco ! That's just wonderful !" Her blue eyes were filled with pleasure to see him happy.

"Lorena… just tell me… Did you know about all this ? Did you…"

"Did I influence your godfather ?" She had perceived his question. "No. You know that nobody can do so. You should know him better, Draco, he can be very stubborn, you know that !" She smiled at him. "He didn't even talk to me about this. I didn't even know you had applied for such a position. I had no hand in this at all. You owe this only to yourself." She patted his shoulder. "I'm proud of you."

He smiled at her gratefully. _You owe this only to yourself._ "Thank you, Lorena." He knew that if he had the position, that was due only to his own talent and work.

* * *

Class had resumed after mid-May successfully. Albus wanted the students to return to normalcy as quick as possible. With the help of witches and wizards specialized in architecture and building, he managed to have Hogwarts restored to its former glory. Fortunately, the castle had not suffered in its structures and foundations.

A witch from France was even invited to help repair the damages made to some of the portraits, as she was a specialist in magical paintings. Wizard craftsmen specialized in window panes came to advise about the windows that had suffered from destruction. All in all, everything was back into place for the re-opening of the school by mid-May.

As such, it had been decided that the end-of-year exams would be postponed to July instead of June that year, so that the students could have one extra month to get prepared for their OWLs and NEWTs. Now that the Dark Lord was not longer a threat, parents had agreed to let their children go back to Hogwarts.

With the news of the fall of the Dark Lord, serenity had begun to come back to the castle. Teachers and students alike were eager to work on their primary goals. Some students had a hard time as they mourned some of their relatives but they were surrounded by a patient and caring staff and faculty, as well as the support of their fellow students.

Dumbledore had made tremendous efforts to promote the friendship between the four houses in Hogwarts, with a particular focus on Slytherin. He wanted the members of that house to feel better integrated. In that regard, the example set by Draco, Lorena and Severus had been put forward, so that the Slytherin students did not feel their house as labeled as an 'evil house', a 'hotbed of Dark magic', 'thriving with Dark wizards', a 'pillar of the Dark Lord' – like it had been said and written too many times in the press and elsewhere before, resulting in further ostracizing the House of the Serpent.

No, there was some good in Slytherin. Severus and Lorena, Draco and his mother had been the proof of that. The tale of what had happened in the Shrieking Shack had been made public – to Severus' and Lorena's dismay. Yet, they gave in to Dumbledore's wishes, understanding that they had to do it for their House's sake. It had also been uncovered that Miss Lorena Nottingham was a descendant of Salazar Slytherin. The young witch knew she had to do something for the memory of her illustrious ancestor. She could not let her House to be slandered while it had taken at least four of its members to stand up courageously in front of the Dark Lord. She was too much proud of being a Slytherin – in all senses of the term – not to defend her House.

* * *

The OWLs and NEWTs exams had been held successfully by mid-July. The students involved had managed to work even more diligently than they knew they were safe as well as their families. Draco was not exception.

Narcissa had been healed during her stay at the Hospital Wing in Hogwarts. It was there that she learned what had happened to her husband at the Ministry, shortly after the downfall of Lord Voldemort.

Lucius Malfoy had perished during the failed takeover of the Ministry of Magic. An _Avada Kedavra_ cast by an unidentified fellow Death-Eater had hit him instead of an Auror to which it had been destined first. Draco had to admit that his father had died for what he believed to be a noble cause. He just had wished that he knew that both his wife and son had made it alive. Lucius would never know.

Once the exam period was over, the OWLs and NEWTs students were released to their families. The others had left before. The castle had emptied little by little.

Lorena had remained, despite her being a sixth-year. She lived with Severus and she was now a professor's wife.

Like all the other students, Draco got his NEWTs results about a week after the exams, at home. He was anxious as he knew that his future depended on only one grade. Therefore, he had given all his efforts into Potions. He opened the letter, his eyes scanned the parchment to check the only grade that mattered to him.

_Potions : 'O' _

Draco yelled out of joy. Severus would accept him as his Apprentice. He hugged his mother, explaining to her the reasons for his sudden outburst. She was surprised – she had not imagined that her son nurtured such projects for his career. Yet, she understood him and supported his plans.

Draco may look like his father physically. But deep down, he had changed a lot, into a wholly different direction than the one Lucius had ascribed to him. Narcissa watched her son. She was proud of him.

* * *

_**Ah, I enjoy **__**doing something positive and good of Draco. He has made the right choices, given the opportunity. **_

_**I wish him good luck with Severus, though I suspect the Potions Master to have changed a bit between Lorena's love, the birth of his son, his new freedom of action, his past being dealt with. A new man.**_

_**Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**_


	137. The magic of love

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**137 – The magic of love**

Like Severus had promised to Lorena, a great party was thrown to which Hogwarts staff and faculty, Order members and a few friends attended, among them George Nottingham, Draco and Narcissa Malfoy. A party during which, they would both renew their vows, this time in front of everybody.

During the same event, Alan would be introduced to the wizarding community, a ceremony during which a newborn child was presented to the other community members and was given a godfather or godmother, as well as his/her name. Draco would be present as the boy's godfather.

The young Slytherin had taken his own godfather to shopping – despite Severus' reluctance. Unexpected help had come from Minerva, that scolded the Potions Master and managed to convince him to let Draco come with him to choose the best garments for the wedding. Severus was still scowling when he left with Draco but at least, he had given in.

Minerva had welcomed Lorena into her own office for dressing. Ms Pomfrey had taken the young witch from Severus' quarters, to bring her to Minerva's, after Lorena had given a last breastfeed to her son. Severus had also convinced his wife to let go of their son for just one night – their wedding night – as he had a surprise for them both only. Lorena had been reluctant to let go of her baby first but he had insisted so much that she had given in.

On that morning then, Lorena had expressed her milk and arranged her son be left to Poppy for the upcoming evening and night. The couple would be back on the day after. The medi-witch had smiled – she had gathered what Severus' intentions were… She had picked up the baby so that Lorena could get prepared quietly. She would dress the baby so that Alan would be presentable for the ceremony too.

Now, Lorena was in Minerva's quarters, getting ready with the help of Narcissa Malfoy and Molly Weasley. Narcissa was busy with the young witch's hair styling, while Minerva and Molly arranged the garments she would wear and commented about them.

Lorena had already put on her beautiful green gown, with a long white shirt under. The Snape medallion was shining around her neck. Narcissa had brought her own veil and carefully put it on Lorena's head, along with flowers.

The austere Transfiguration professor watched Lorena. "Tell me, Miss Nottingham, surely you know about that custom each bride must honor."

"Which custom ?"

"You have to wear something new, something old, something blue, something borrowed."

"Oh yes, yes, it does exist in the Muggle world too. Yes."

"And ?" Molly asked out of curiosity.

"Well… Something old, I already have. My gown. Something new…" She lifted the hem of her gown and undershirt, revealing her legs. "I bought a new pair of black stockings, along with a garter belt."

The other witches chuckled. "Oh, I know one man that's going to like it," Molly commented. "And what about the rest ?"

"Something borrowed," Lorena went on. "Narcissa lent me her wedding veil and I thank her for that." The veil fell almost to her knees. Narcissa had enchanted it to have light shades of green, to match the gown, instead of being snow white originally.

"Yes, it's beautiful," Molly said. "Enchanting the color was a tasty idea."

"Thank you," Narcissa replied, proud of her spelling work.

"Narcissa Black had always been very good at Charms and Transfiguration in her days at Hogwarts," Minerva added with a smile to her former student. "And what about something blue ?" the old witch carried on.

Lorena blushed. "You won't say, will you ?"

"Why ? What is it, Miss Nottingham ?" Minerva asked seriously.

"Yes, tell us, Lorena," Molly insisted.

Lorena had an embarrassed smirk. "Well, I do wear something blue indeed." She lowered her eyes. "My knickers…"

The three other witches dissolved into laughter.

* * *

Someone knocked at Minerva's door. The old witch went to open. A man was standing there, which she let in as she had recognized him. "Oh, George ! Come in !"

"Is she decent ?"

"Yes, she is, we're done."

"Ah, good, I come and pick her up as we're about to start." He entered and his gaze met his daughter's. His jaw dropped at the sight.

"Hello, Dad."

"My… my daughter…" He swallowed hard. No, he would not cry in front of all these women. He just admired her, taking in the view. "You just look like your mum, Lorena. She was as beautiful as you are now... She would have been so happy to see you… now…"

Lorena perceived at once where his words would lead. She wanted to avoid him further embarrassment and went to him. She hugged her father and stroked his cheeks tenderly.

He let go of the lump forming in his throat and grinned at her. He nodded. "Sorry, Lorena."

"That's okay, Dad." She moved away from him. "You look dashing !" It was the first time that Lorena saw her father in wizard's robes.

He chuckled. "Albus wanted to give me a bright purple robe with moons and stars on it."

Minerva smiled, Narcissa smirked, Molly chuckled. "And ? Deep burgundy red suits you well," Lorena commented.

"Severus… saved my hide actually, with the help of Sirius and Remus. So I got this robe instead. I prefer the gold embroidery on the hems instead of the moons and stars. More discreet in my taste."

The women concurred heartily. Narcissa watched him thoughtfully. He returned her gaze with a shy smile.

George watched the three other witches. "Ladies, you should get going now. I'll bring my daughter."

"You won't get lost in the castle, will you ?" Minerva said.

"Lorena will guide me. Now go."

Molly, Minerva and Narcissa left the room. George was alone with his daughter.

"Did I ever tell you how much proud of you I am ?" he said.

"No, but I know you are. I'm proud of you too." She looked at him again. "That's funny but you wear the Gryffindor colors."

He smiled and looked enough embarrassed to raise suspicions in Lorena's mind. "Something happened, Dad." She had felt it too through their physical contact.

He snorted. "Well, we were in Albus' office. With Remus, Sirius and Severus. Albus wanted me to wear that stupid purple robe. I refused and suddenly there was that ugly thing they call a hat that began to speak."

"The… Sorting Hat ?"

"Yes, that's what Severus told me."

"And what did the Hat say then ?"

"That he could help the Headmaster choose a better set of colors, more suited to my House."

"But you belong to no House !"

"Yes, that's what Sirius said. Believe it or not, but Albus approved the Hat and he put it on my head before I could say anything."

Lorena gasped. The Headmaster, always so scheming and manipulative as ever, must have had planned all this – or cast a mild version of the Body-Bind hex on her father. Or whatever. She began to suspect what had happened after.

"It lasted about a minute," he went on. "I could hear the Hat talking to me in my mind. It said… that it didn't know too much where to put me. Because I had qualities of both Slytherin and Gryffindor."

Lorena let her father speak – though she knew the outcome.

"He said that I was a determined man, resourceful. A Parselmouth. But that family traditions were not his concern. He told me that… he knew what had happened in the Shack. That a man that could rush to danger to save other people's lives could not but deserve to be in… Gryffindor."

"The Hat sorted you into Gryffindor," she stated. "Hence the colors."

"Not too disappointed, Lorena ? Severus did not look too pleased…"

She smiled at him. She had to admit that the Hat had been right. Thinking of it, she had always thought her father had a very Gryffindor behavior most of the time, even if deep down he had Slytherin qualities. "No, it has no importance to me. Severus is very Gryffindor in his own right, you know. Don't tell him that I told you this, or he's going to hex me !"

"Albus told him already when he heard your man's grumbling about another Gryffindor. Remus and Sirius congratulated me."

"Logical, they are Gryffindors themselves. And don't worry about Severus – he'll get over it."

"Oh, the Headmaster silenced him by telling him he was himself something of a Gryffindor and that for once, they had not sorted too soon… I don't know what he had meant by this."

Lorena giggled. "I think you should ask Professor Dumbledore. I don't know either." She patted her father's shoulder.

"Shall we go, my Slytherin daughter ?" he said while offering his arm to her. He had a sudden solemn tone in his voice.

She smiled. "Yes, let's go, my Gryffindor father."

* * *

The whole party was gathered in the Rose Garden of the castle. Members of the Order of the Phoenix, Hogwarts staff and faculty members, Hosgmeade residents and friends had been invited to the festivities by the Headmaster. All in all, about fifty people. The elves had been invited too and about fifty of them had showed up. Ziggy, Severus' personal elf was sitting on the ground, at Molly's feet, turning himself from time to time to check on his Master's boy. The Weasley matriarch patted his head gently to reassure him.

Pomona and Filius had decorated the place with flowers and charms. The sun was shining. Poppy had given Alan to Molly, time for her to stand by the newlyweds as a witness. Hagrid was nearby Albus, talking with him pleasantly. The Headmaster was standing on a dais.

Minerva and Narcissa had taken seats on the first rank of chairs. Draco had kept a chair for his mother. He was sitting beside Molly Weasley – he wanted to be close to his godson. The whole Weasley clan was sitting nearby, Arthur besides his wife, cooing over Alan, as if the baby had been born into his already large family.

Severus was waiting nearby the dais, but outside the magical circle Albus had drawn on the ground, waiting for Lorena. He was wearing a dark green robe above his usual black trousers, black frock coat and white shirt. Only a dark green tie had replaced the black one around his neck. The rich fabric of the robe was beautiful to see, velvety, with silver snakes embroidered on the sleeves and robe hems.

A noise could be heard at the back of the garden, followed by silence. The bride had entered the garden, her arm linked with that of her father.

"She's beautiful," several voices said in the crowd.

Severus could not but watch his wife intently. Yes, she was divinely beautiful. George Nottingham led his daughter to Severus. The Potions Master stuck out his hand to take Lorena's. George took it instead.

"I give you my daughter, Severus. You'd better take real good care of her. Or else," he said with a smirk, a serious look in his eyes. "You see… she was new," he whispered softly, so that nobody else but the newlyweds could hear him.

Lorena blushed deeply under her veil. Severus shot a look at his father-in-law. "I thought I had already done that," he replied as softly as possible.

"I know you have. That's why I agree that you continue to do so. I know I can entrust her to you," he said while putting Lorena's hand in Severus'. Then he went to sit beside Minerva McGonagall and Sirius Black.

Severus turned his attention to Lorena. She was beautiful from a distance. So close to him now, she was stunning. She was his and after all this, nobody would be able to claim the contrary. He led her inside the magical circle and the Handfasting began.

Albus led the ceremony the same way he had done during the secret marriage in his office. Poppy and Hagrid repeated the same gestures and words they had done and said then. Severus and Lorena slid their Love-Snakes rings onto each other's fingers. This time, Severus had accepted that his ring be slid onto his left finger, now that all remains of Dark magic from his Dark Mark had gone. When everything was over, Severus lifted the long veil gently over his wife's head and gave her a shy kiss to seal their bond.

The crowd cheered and clapped their hands then. Lorena and Severus exchanged a glance. "I think we should give them a run for their money," the young witch said softly to her husband. He raised an elegant eyebrow.

"Are you sure ?"

She encouraged him with a smile. In a pure Slytherin fashion, Lorena believed that it would help improve everything for him in terms of image and relationships with other people. _Once a Death-Eater, but no longer, nevermore, a Death-Eater. _

"So be it then. I won't be responsible for any heart attacks," he whispered to her with a smirk.

Professor Severus Snape, the usually so collected and cold Potions Master, the most feared professor of Hogwarts, the once dreaded Death-Eater, leaned towards his wife and took her lips for a deep kiss, flooring everyone present with that sole gesture. Everybody cheered and whistled even more loudly, people sprang from their seats to clap their hands even harder, while Severus and Lorena kissed for long seconds, in such a loving and passionate manner.

Albus smiled before patting his Potions Master's shoulder gently. "Severus, you'll have plenty of time for that later. Now to your son."

Lorena exchanged a glance with her husband after they broke the kiss. She read in his dark eyes all the love and lust he could feel for her. A good dose of mirth too. She smiled at him and caressed his cheek. Albus' remark had been funny.

"I love you," Severus said softly.

"I know," she replied gently, still stroking his cheek.

A few people had taken shots of the wedding. Yet, nobody had noticed that a Polyjuiced Rita Skeeter had taken a picture of the couple exchanging a wild kiss at the very end of the ceremony. She already imagined the title on the first page. For sure, that would be the best issue the _Daily Prophet_ would ever make.

* * *

The ceremony introducing Alan Severus Snape had been a wonderful moment too. Draco had held the infant while Albus Dumbledore had blessed the child, as per the wizarding custom. Everybody knew that he was officially the boy's godfather.

Then everyone went to congratulate the newlyweds. Albus even hugged Severus, stating that this had been one of the most beautiful days in his life – seeing the man he considered as his son to find happiness at last, firmly tied in love and light.

The ceremony was followed by a big picnic organized on the grounds of the castle nearby. Various groups were scattered on the grass, chatting and laughing. Music was played – George Nottingham providing some of it, playing several of his instruments, for everyone present's greatest pleasure. Lorena played her alto violin and even sang in duet with her father, cheering the crowd with the appropriate song _Down By The Riverside_, unknown to the wizarding world but immediately adopted by all present as a joyful peace hymn.

She ended with the _Contradanza _– which made everyone present put their hands together. Draco led the cheers. He also told the story of the detention the young witch had earned herself one day because she had played that piece _fortissimo_ in the Slytherin common room. A detention given by Severus. Everybody laughed heartily.

Little Alan was passed from arms to arms to be cuddled and cooed over. All the witches around got ecstatic over him. They all agreed that the boy would look like his father. Minerva wiped a tear away, when saying that in about 11 years or so, the boy would come to Hogwarts as a student. Sybill Trelawney began to explain that she had seen the boy's future sorting as… Slytherin. Everybody laughed at her prediction. No wonder, with two Slytherin parents, a Slytherin godfather, a prestigious Slytherin ancestor such as Salazar Slytherin himself.

* * *

By the end of the afternoon, the Snapes retreated to their quarters, leaving their guests to have a good time. They had other plans. Poppy joined them there. Lorena breastfed another time before leaving her son to the medi-witch's good care. Poppy also gave them a small vial of contraceptive potion, along with a few recommendations. She had gathered what the couple in front of her would not spend the night just talking about Potions and music or whatever…

Severus blushed like a schoolboy – which earned him a mocking remark from Poppy. Lorena giggled. He pocketed the vial in silence, shooting a dark look at the two witches. Then Poppy left, leaving the two spouses to themselves.

"It's been a wonderful day," Lorena said softly. "Thanks to you."

"To me ?"

"I know you're not one to expose yourself as such but you agreed to do so just to please me. Thank you, Severus. Thank you for giving me that day."

He smiled at his wife. It had been a beautiful day indeed. But the night promised to be even better. Between Lorena's childbirth, their respective conditions after escaping the Shrieking Shack, the aftermath of the war and its consequences, their duties as parents and teacher/student, they did not have the time to be intimate together again, despite living together in Severus' quarters. These long weeks of abstinence would be over soon, very soon.

"My pleasure. Because tonight, you'll be the one to please me." His dark eyes reflected lust but Lorena enjoyed _that_ gaze of his on her now. "You remember what you promised to me ?" She blushed. "That you'll do whatever I wish," he ended with a low, purring, sensual voice.

She nodded and smiled. He was so Slytherin, even in his approach to intimate matters. Severus got out a blindfold out of his frock coat pocket. He removed the veil carefully. She let him put the blindfold around her eyes. "That you'll follow me wherever I wish," he purred into her ear. He tied the knot behind her head. "Don't worry, it's a nice surprise," he whispered.

"I don't doubt you, Severus."

She felt him put her cloak on her shoulders. He made sure she had her wand in her sleeve, then checked his own out of reflex. Then he took her in his arms and wrapped her around in his own cloak. "Let's go, Lorena. Hang on to me." She did, let him squeeze her against him in a loving embrace. They Disapparated…

* * *

… to land on a natural platform, made of bare rock, at mid-slope of a mountain. Below them, a thick tract of forest. No path led to the place. The sun still shining, making its course down towards the West. The sky was pure blue. Not a single cloud above. Birds chirped in the trees below. A gentle breeze moved the leaves on the trees softly, as if the wind was murmuring something into Nature's ears.

Lorena had still the blindfold on her eyes yet she had a familiar feeling about the place. "I know that place…" she said softly. "It has known magic before… very old, very powerful magic…"

Then it dawned on her. "The cave… Elemental magic…"

"Yes, my love," Severus purred into her ear while removing the blindfold. "And you know what day it is today."

"Lughnasadh's Eve. Oh, Severus, you haven't forgotten…"

"How could I have forgotten ?" He kissed her temple. "One year ago… you became mine, we were bonded, you trusted me enough to give yourself to me. That's why I wanted to come back here, tonight. This date… will always mean something to me. The beginning of my life. Thanks to you, my love."

Lorena opened her eyes slowly. She discovered her surroundings, marveling at the nature around. "It's a beautiful place. No wonder elemental magic is powerful here." She took in the view. Severus stood behind her, taking her between his arms, holding her tight against him. They watched the sun setting slowly, both buried in that sweet ecstasy, in that close intimacy with Nature, in that secret ravishing, that only loving hearts know how to enjoy.

When the sun was set behind the mountains, Severus led Lorena inside the cave. He had arranged everything to be ready for them : a mattress was spread over a rug, with covers over them, in front of a fire crackling gently in the cave, providing warmth and light inside. In a corner, there was a trunk which must have had contained all the things he had carried here. He had truly made a really nice surprise to her.

Severus took his wife by her waist and dragged her to him. He took her lips with his for a passionate kiss. How much time they spent like this, they could not have told. Lust was shining forth in their eyes.

"We will follow Poppy's advice in term of… family planning," Severus said softly while taking the small vial from his frock coat pocket. "This will be effective for 24 hours. Drink it now." He uncorked the vial and handed it over to Lorena.

"We will indeed," she whispered to him with a smile on her lips. She took it and drank it, emptying it completely.

Now, they felt they could be really intimate again. Severus began to undress Lorena, she took her cue she could do the same with him. They both fell onto the mattress, limbs entwined, rediscovering each other's body after long weeks of abstinence.

There was no ritual, no Elixir, no wands, no magic, between them that night. Except the magic of their love. The raw, powerful, eternal magic of their love.

* * *

**__****The story about the saying ("something new, something old, something blue, something borrowed" to be worn by the bride) is common where I live. When I got married, I wore something blue too… pretty much like Lorena ! LOL It amused me to use this personal memory here…**

___**I could not but see George as a Gryffindor. I imagined the scene taking place in Albus' office, when the Headmaster wanted to lend him one of his "stylish" wizard's robes... **_

___**Severus is still the consummate Slytherin - agreeing to please his wife so that after that, he can claim whatever he wishes from her... well, life as a couple is often made of small exchanges like these !**_

**__****Don't you love happy endings ? Wait ! This is not the end, bear with me, there's the Epilogue. ****__****What will happen to them all in the future ? **

**__****Please rate and review ! Thanks in anticipation !**


	138. Epilogue

**Too Much Love Will Kill You**

**138 – Epilogue**

The Minister for Magic wanted to trial the Death-Eaters that had survived the battle at Hogwarts – and fast. The trials were to be held as quick as possible, even during Summer. The whole lot had been condemned to Azkaban for life eventually.

Lorena would stand as a witness during the trial of Peter Pettigrew, a.k.a. Wormtail. The press had noticed that this particular Death-Eater was a… Gryffindor. This point helped convince that not all Slytherins were Dark wizards involved on the Dark Lord's side. Due to his very long and close association with Voldemort, his implication in the mass murder that had framed Sirius up 12 years ago, and his responsibility in casting the Fiendfyre in the Shrieking Shack, he was condemned to a life sentence.

At this occasion, the Wizengamot passed a law adding a fourth curse to the list of the Unforgivables : the Fiendfyre, the Cursed Fire.

Bellatrix Lestrange had died too, shortly after being taken prisoner at Hogwarts. She had managed to hang herself using her corset laces and mostly like a bit of wandless magic, while being kept in the dungeons at Hogwarts, the night before being transferred to Azkaban. She had sworn herself to never come back there. She had seized the opportunity when the other Death-Eaters were asleep to kill herself. On the morning after, her brethren found her dead.

* * *

The Pettigrew trial allowed Sirius Black's case to be opened again. Sirius was judged, this time in the light of Peter Pettigrew's involvement with the Dark Lord. Wormtail's responsibility had been defined – after all, the small wizard was supposed to have died in the mass murder. As George Nottingham had surmised, Wormtail's being alive was proof enough that the accusations against Sirius were false, part of a frame up to get rid of a valuable wizard, a force to be reckoned with in the war against the Dark Lord.

Sirius was cleared of all charges and even compensated for the 12 years he had spent in Azkaban so unfairly. He walked out of the Wizengamot a free man, his name honored again, after years living either in jail in Azkaban or secluded in his family house.

To top it all off, his cousin Narcissa had wished to establish family relationships with him anew, mending ties that had been severed. She visited her cousin regularly, along with Draco.

* * *

Further to his scraping an 'O' in Potions, Draco Malfoy became Severus' apprentice at Hogwarts for the next three years. He was very proud to make a name by himself and gain a reputation based on his own merits. He was glad to follow in his godfather's steps in a career of his choice, instead of those of his late father as the next Malfoy heir and Death-Eater.

He kept very close ties with the Snapes. He had a close bond with Alan Severus as the child's godfather. The ties were even closer as the truth about the family ties between the Gaunts and the Malfoys had been acknowledged between Lorena and the other Malfoys.

Draco Malfoy became a successful teacher. He loved the kids actually and had a great time teaching – although he could turn into as nasty as his godfather had been in his own time. He had to admit that frightening the students was one of his guilty pleasures – when they deserved it of course.

He also became a creative Potions Master, publishing many papers, on his own or with Severus, on different potions they experimented together. He invented potions that helped cure patients that had been condemned by wizarding medicine.

Draco Malfoy always stated that he was happy with his life because he felt _useful_. He did not forget how he had been brought into existence : he worked on infertility cases in wizarding families, especially pureblood. He had become fascinated by Muggle discoveries about genetics. He made research in the field of wizarding genetics, making important statements as to how the dominant magical gene worked, thus contributing to undermine the prejudices against Muggle-borns and half-bloods.

In a sense, he had made a difference for many people and couples.

* * *

George Nottingham enjoyed the Summer to take care of his mother's house. Severus helped him get rid of the last remnants of Dark magic still lingering in the house, along with Bill Weasley, who was a curse-breaker working for Gringotts. Yet, he stayed at 12 Grimmauld Place during that time.

His magical skills improved, with the teaching provided by Sirius and the Snape spouses. He also bought his own wand at Ollivander's in Diagon Alley. He made very quick progress in Charms and Spells. He also learned how to Apparate.

He had been sorted as a Gryffindor on his daughter's wedding day.

During August, before the new academic year started, Albus Dumbledore asked George if he accepted to take a new post he had created : Music Master of Hogwarts. After all, the Headmaster kept telling people that music was one of the most powerful magic. Besides, many Muggle-born students already knew how to play an instrument and had wished to continue practice at school, something that had not been possible in the past. Now, it would be possible with a talented musician as a Music teacher.

Thus, George Nottingham became the very first Music professor at Hogwarts. Besides, this arrangement allowed him to live nearby his daughter and grandson and perfect his own magic during evening classes. His love of art and his easy-going nature made him quickly appreciated by staff and students alike.

He kept on practicing music with his daughter, to everybody's joy in Hogwarts, even putting together a small band made up of students and staff that wished to play and sing with him. This contributed greatly to the unity inside Hogwarts, by putting an end to the House rivalries, especially between Gryffindor and Slytherin. Seeing the Gryffindor father play with his Slytherin daughter was indeed an example that the children could not forget that easily.

George also created the first Music Festival to be held in Wizarding Britain. With the help of a few other musicians, all wizards and witches, he organized a festival in Hogsmeade during the Summer days, which was gladly welcomed there as Summer had always been a very quiet time in Hogsmeade. It provided the animation the locals wanted, drawing there scores of witches and wizards and their families, and giving the opportunity to young talents to make themselves known.

With time, George was able to mourn the loss of his wife, his mother and siblings – something he had never had the occasion to do. Knowing who had killed his mother and siblings had helped in this regard.

He also had a teaching position in the wizarding institution in London where Albus had found him a fake work contract in the first place. The kids there were younger but he loved to transmit his knowledge of music, hoping he would see these pupils keep on practicing when they would go to Hogwarts a few years later.

He completed his parole for the next two years, visiting his parole officer once a week in London. As he had a very busy schedule, he never committed any criminal offense again. His parole officer was very happy and proud of him – though he had never suspected that his parolee was a wizard.

* * *

The war had not been kind on Narcissa, who had lost both her sister and husband. She was close to Bellatrix, she loved her husband, and she was deeply affected by this double loss. Fortunately, she had Draco and was able to keep her sanity intact. Now there was no longer the need to act, she decided to contact her other sister Andromeda – that had been disowned from the Black family for marrying a Muggle-born wizard. She had been impressed by Sirius' bravery too – he had saved her best friend Severus after all. Both Sirius and Andromeda were forgiving enough to welcome her back into the family fold.

Narcissa maintained a very strong friendship with Severus and got into a somewhat motherly relationship with Lorena. She managed to cast aside her own prejudices regarding blood status, following her son's example in this path. She felt herself more at peace. Moreover, she was busy managing the huge Malfoy wealth. She became a wise businesswoman, besides a prominent member of the wizarding community, while she had always been in Lucius' shadow when he had been alive.

She also became more and more acquainted with George Nottingham. She had been impressed by the courage he had displayed at the Shrieking Shack, in order to save the man his daughter loved so dearly – and Narcissa's best friend. Everything he had done then, had been out of love. His devotion to his beloved daughter equaled her own love for her son Draco.

She saw him more and more, as he was living in Hogwarts, with the Snapes and Draco. She visited them often and became very close to George. A year after Lucius' death, Narcissa decided to move on with her life. She was done mourning, she was still young. She allowed George Nottingham to date her.

* * *

Alastor Moody enjoyed living in Hogwarts and imparting his vast knowledge of the Dark Arts to the children placed under his authority and care. The students really loved his practical and no-nonsense approach. He could be also very kind and funny, despite his scary – and scarry – looks.

Alastor had struck an agreement with Albus Dumbledore. He would remain the DADA teacher in Hogwarts as long as his old friend wished it, provided he may find a suitable replacement in the next few years, as he was getting old. The curse on the post was now lifted after Voldemort's death.

Yet, he felt he would enjoy retirement fully, now Dark wizards were no longer a threat. He had come to appreciate Severus too. Though he had kept an eye on the Potions Master at the beginning, in case he would treat Lorena badly. Which never happened.

He had forgiven Lorena for her choice of husband and the hurting she had done to him after he had discovered where her true feelings were. He was still very fond of her. He would always love her secretly, aware that it would take time for him to get over her.

Lorena remained very friendly with him – she had not loved him but she would still like him pretty much and respected him immensely. She was aware that he still loved her but she had made a choice and she was careful not to stir up any unwelcome feelings from him, now she was married and had a family.

Alastor had agreed with Dumbledore he would remain the DADA teacher for the next three years, time for Draco Malfoy to become the next Potions Master and teacher. Once the young wizard achieved that position, Severus would leave him the chair of Potions professor and take over the position he had always coveted for so long – the DADA teaching post.

Alastor had given his blessing to Severus becoming the next DADA teacher as he knew that the former and reformed Death-Eater was a Dark Arts expert himself and certainly the most proficient and qualified teacher to fill that position at Hogwarts. He knew that the younger wizard would no longer fall prey to the Dark Arts, like he had been in his teenage years. Severus was now mature enough to resist that fatal attraction that had sometimes brought the worst out of him before.

* * *

Lorena resumed her seventh year at Hogwarts the following September. She graduated from Hogwarts successfully that year, enough to start training as a Healer at St. Mungo. She qualified fully after five years of training there, specializing in magical wounds and poisons. Her empathy drew the attention of the medical authorities in the wizarding world. Research was conducted on her abilities and her particular brand of magic.

Thanks to her elemental magic, she was able to cure many difficult magical wounds and diseases. She gained recognition quickly and began to give lectures on the subject. She completed her Research Mastery on "Love and Blood Magic : Love-Snakes and Love-Bites".

Severus was very proud of her, to have such a bright woman as his wife. They could spend time talking about Potions and Healing techniques and other magical practices for hours. She enjoyed having such a man as her life companion, so remarkable, so exceptional, so loving and devoted to her.

Lorena gave him two other children – a girl, then a boy. She adored her husband, feeling how much he loved her and the extent of his own love for her. She never forgot what she had perceived in the Shack on Beltaine's night : that Severus had been ready to die so that she could live.

* * *

The Headmaster had vouched for his Potions Master. Severus would not go to Azkaban – and that was all that counted for Albus Dumbledore. However, Severus would be summoned to witness during the trial of several Death-Eaters to be held soon.

Severus' part as a spy and double-agent had been fully uncovered and documented during the trials against the Death-Eaters. As a former Voldemort's follower, he had to be judged, like the others. Yet, Albus', Minerva's, Sirius', Kingsley's and of course Lorena's testimonies in this regard, helped to clear Severus' name. The Potions Master was recognized as a war hero and walked a free man.

Severus did so and testified accordingly. He was also aware that if his former fellows were freed, they would go after him and his family. He managed to gain a pledge from the Ministry of Magic that the sentenced Death-Eaters would remain in Azkaban and live there for the rest of their natural lives. He also warned that he would kill any Death-Eater that would be freed and dare approach him or his family. The Ministry of Magic and the Wizengamot did record his statement but said nothing against. They had probably thought that it would be better for them to leave a Dark wizard take care of his former companions by himself. Severus Snape still remained a dangerous man but if it served the Wizengamot, the Ministry and the wizarding community, so why not.

Severus resumed his post as Potions Master in Hogwarts for the next three years, time for him to train Draco Malfoy as a Potions Master. The bond between the young wizard and himself got deeper. He was happy to be Draco's "second father", as the young Malfoy put it.

Once Draco became a Potions Master and Potions teacher, Severus took over the post as the next DADA professor at Hogwarts, allowing Alastor Moody to enjoy a well deserved retirement then. Yet, he did not abandon one of his passions in life – potions. Although he was the DADA professor, he kept on researching in Potions, this time with the help of Draco. Both men led several interesting projects in that field. He just did not teach it any more, though he could still help Draco brewing stuff for St. Mungo or the Ministry. He also kept his title of Potions Master – which made Hogwarts the only magical institution in Wizarding Europe to have two Potions Masters, when so many had none. He had also more time to give lectures abroad on the subject.

Severus became over time the proud father of three children, two boys and a girl. He had a complete devotion for Lorena, that had saved not only his life but also redeemed his soul, thanks to her magic and her love.

He kept the position of Head of the House of Slytherin. He was even more attached to his House as he was well aware that his wife and his children were the Heirs of Slytherin.

* * *

_**Eleven years later…**_

"Snape, Alan."

A boy, rather tall and slender for his age, approached the stool Deputy Headmistress and Professor McGonagall showed him. He had pitch-black lanky hair, a fair complexion. His dark eyes reflected awe. He glanced quickly at his grandfather George and his godfather Draco, both sitting at the High Table, who encouraged him with a smile. The boy bit his lower lip – in a gesture not so different from his mother's, which amused his father, also sitting at the High Table, to no end.

Minerva put the Sorting Hat on the boy's head. The Hat remained silent for long seconds that seemed like an eternity to the boy.

"Ah, another Snape… I can see we have a lot in here," the Hat began to say in the boy's mind. "Courage, determination, intelligence… Powerfulness ! Lots of it ! Well, where am I going to put you ?"

"_Please, put me in Slytherin. I want to be in Slytherin ! Please !"_ Alan said in Parseltongue, as he did not wish the other students and teachers to understand what he would have to say to the Hat. He hoped the Hat would understand him. After all, he had read that the four Founders had put a bit of themselves in the magical artifact.

"Oh, you're a Parselmouth. Interesting," the Hat commented simply, showing the boy it had understood him indeed. "Yet, I'm sure you'd do marvels in Ravenclaw with your sharp mind. Pretty much like your father."

"_My father is a Slytherin,"_ the boy explained in Parseltongue.

"Oh, yes, I remember, I had trouble sorting him too."

Alan was surprised to hear that – his father had never told him about his own sorting. He made a mental note to ask him later. Or his mother.

"Unless I put you in Gryffindor, you're brave enough to be there. Like your grandfather is. Though I witnessed over time that your father could have been sorted into Gryffindor too."

The boy sighed. _"Please put me in Slytherin. I _need_ to be there !"_ he pleaded a last time in Parseltongue, insisting on the 'need' part.

"Ah, that's pretty much like your mother. She needed to be there too." The Hat remained silent for two or three seconds more. "If this is what you wish… so be it then… Let's put you in… SLYTHERIN !"

Alan let out a 'thank you' in Parseltongue and slid from the stool. He joined the Slytherin table that cheered loudly, obviously happy to welcome the son of the Head of the House of Slytherin in their midst.

A squealing sound could be heard at the other end of the High Table. "I was right !" Sybil Trelawney said under her breath to her table neighbor, George Nottingham. "I had predicted that when he was born ! Remember ?" George was clueless but he just smiled at her and quieted her down.

Alan then glanced towards the High Table. His dark eyes met his father's. Severus remained calm yet… A tiny smile curled up his mouth, only sign of his pride. With time, Alan had learned how to read his father's face. He flashed a beaming smile at him. The Potions Master acknowledged his son's smile with a slight bow of the head. His son's smile looked so much like Lorena's…

Yes, Severus was proud of his son. He knew he would not make the same mistakes as he had done all these years ago because of all the love that surrounded his family.

Severus glanced at Albus Dumbledore. The Headmaster grinned at him. Yes, the old wizard was right. Love was the most powerful magic ever. Love was the fortress that could shelter all. Love was the key, the solution, the beginning and the end to everything.

**THE END**

* * *

_**I hope you enjoyed reading this – long – story, as much as I did writing it.**__** I feel… strange… like when you have to come back from wonderful holidays, slipping back into the routine.**_

_**This story has also been translated into French. All the chapters have already been posted on this site. The title of the story is "Trop d'Amour Te Tuera".**_

_**However… I'm brewing 2 other stories, still pairing Severus with an Original Female Character – I love this pairing too much. These next stories are to explore his dominant, dark side (again, but I love that side of him) yet revealing his vulnerabilities (I love that too) – while doing my best to keep him in character. There will be a strong emphasis on his very dark past and actions, but set in very different storylines, with very different OFCs, and the least Mary Sue of course. **_

_**I want to thank all the people that faved the story, those that put a story alert on it, and all those that left reviews. THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR STAUNCH SUPPORT !**_

_**I**__** hope there will be other people that will still continue to do so afterwards. **_

_**For all those out of there who are geniuses and wizards with drawing and photo-manip, please feel free to use my work to spur your imagination - just provide me with the link so that I can admire your work and leave a review for it.**_

_**Feel free to PM me on if you have any questions about that story or just discuss its topics and/or share your thoughts about Severus or whomever else. You are always welcomed.**_

_**Take care and see you soon on for other stories of mine !**_


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